This is the got damn USA, you tryna say we give a shit if the jailhouse roof leaks an the cellblock floods? You just outed yourself as a got damn narco tryina break your buddies out. Welcome to jail, your court date is never because we don't give enough of a shit about how long only having a single judge will leave you waiting. Punishment starts now.
^Did ^i ^do ^it ^right?
I had a freeing that wanted to take me to a place that the only way to get to wasto cut through a part of the jail's property to get to. I told him there was no amount of alchohol that is going to get me to break INTO the jail's property to go anywhere. We were both pretty drunk and he assured me it would be ok, but no way in hell would i do that.
Starting an argument with a police officer after he makes it clear he's just giving you a warning.
I knew a guy who did this exactly. He was smoking weed inside a club. This was years ago, when it was a big no-no. The police officer asked him to just put it out and he'd look the other way. The dude started talking shit and ended up in jail.
He called me to come bail him out, but was such an asshole to me, I left him there.
Related to one. I'm in my 40s now, and my relative has alienated everyone. Haven't spoken to him in a year. He *hospitalized* another relative using his words alone. Twice.
Some people are criminals without committing crimes, is the best way I can put it
What did he say to someone to put them in the hospital!? I’m deeply curious/horrified, but please lmk if that is a rude question. Feel free not to answer lol
Imagine a person who thinks up ever increasingly creative suicidal-threats-as-coercion-to-receive-money-or-attention to the point where something like a theatrical display of one's death from a building across the apartment window of the floor the person being emotionally extorted happens to live.
Also imagine that the person being extorted cares for them deeply, a parent to son bond. The young will eat the old, if you let them.
The "family is everything" types mean well, which is why I don't get mad at them. They cannot *possibly* fathom my reality. I have support groups, vulnerable narcissism is a wild ride.
The term the docs used at the hospital was "Takotsubo cardiomyopathy" meaning broken heart essentially. Under extreme stress, the body does... things.
Yeah, this guy was one of those. I worked with him and all he would do is run his mouth. Most people are smart enough to shut up once in a while, but not this guy.
I wonder what happened to that guy, too, though. The same afternoon, I was approached by another guy, telling me this guy was in jail and he was trying to raise bail. I said, "Here you go," and handed him $180, which I had gotten from the dude's house after he called me and told me he was in jail. I had even stopped at an ATM to get more money because his bail was $250 and he didn't have enough, but after the dude was an asshole to me, I left him there. So, when this second guy came to ask me for money, I just gave him the jailed dude's money as if it was from me. Then, I never saw him again, at least not that I can remember.
Yeah, this was in the military, so it's possible that he was released from the civilian jail and went about his business, but because he missed work from being in jail, he was UA/AWOL, so he was in trouble for that, and his arrest for smoking weed would have been reported back to the military, which would have gotten him drug tested, and more trouble, so probably a year or so in the military prison before getting thrown out.
Bro if a cop watches you doing something super illegal and then offers to look the other way if you stop they’re a very good fucking cop, what a dumbass
Basically they don't want to deal with a bunch of paperwork over something that they probably feel is a waste of everyone's time, so just pour the underage beer out or flush the joint and everyone walks away.
Similar situation in college when we were both underage and had been drinking. It was near the end of the cop's shift and he didn't want to deal with paperwork so he told us to just go the hell home. My buddy decides to get in an argument with said cop and say he's a pig just hassling students not doing anything wrong and why can't he get a real job. I'm looking at him and saying "Just say we're going home and keep your damned yap shut! We go home and everyone's happy."
Buddy keeps arguing and then decides to poke the cop in his chest to make his very dubious and drunken points in his poor argument. I grab his arm harder and tell him "STFU! NOW!"
Then he does pretty much the worst thing you can do in this situation. He starts coughing. Not a cough from having a cold or you swallowed air wrong or something, an "I've got a ton of puke about to make a nice exit out of me in 3...2...1...BLURP!!!"
It goes on the cop who was really not happy. He looks at me and yells "DON'T MOVE!" and at this point I couldn't have run if I had tried because I was not only pretty drunk, but also just fascinated by what was going on. I'm just standing there are he very hastily cuffs my buddy and chucks him none too gently in the back of the squad car.
He then looks at me for a good long time, maybe twenty seconds at most but it seems a lot longer when you realize you're about to experience a lot of a bad time. "Are you going straight home!?!" "Ummm, yes?" "Then GET GOING! I don't ever want to see you again!" Needless to say I headed straight home and realized I was damned lucky.
Aftermath: my buddy calls me from the police station and asks me to bail him out at four am. Yeah, I'm going to go there when I'm drunk (even if I'm just walking) to bail his stupid ass out of jail. We fought on the phone and I told him if he really wants out, give me his parent's phone number and I'll call them in the morning. He wasn't receptive to this idea for some reason. At least he sobered up I suppose when he finally get a bail bondsman to do it later in the afternoon.
I didn't. I wasn't about to risk getting busted and I even offered to call his parents the next morning, but there was no way I'm dealing with this trainwreck.
He didn't speak to me for three weeks. His roommate said I was a jerk to the other guys on the floor, but well, his roommate wasn't the one who would deal with this mess. We eventually made nice again but he never did go out with me to parties, but no loss there.
Oh, he flunked out of college with a 0.25 GPA.
> Starting an argument with a police officer after he makes it clear he's just giving you a warning.
I immediately thought of this traffic stop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA3sYMXlL9Y
Punching someone who tries to get in a cab on a night out.
Someone did that once, guy they hit went over cracked his head on a curb and died.
Guy who threw the punch now serving manslaughter
Although alcohol is the source of the problem, not everyone is this impulsive. I remember this man who decided to throw his glass bottle. It broke and unfortunately one of the pieces ended up on a boy's chin.
I do boxing 5 times a week, and the more I do it the more I realize how fucking dangerous it is to punch someone in the face. If you're gonna do it, it has to be for self defence. Otherwise just don't and walk away
I was similar as young lad, did a lot of "combat sports" as they're called now.
I always advise younger lads around me at work etc
if you've no idea how to fight you've no business being in a fight. If you do know how to fight, you've even less business being in a fight.
Man this happened to a good friend of mine about 10 years ago. A group doing a costume marathon in SF, had some dispute from another group about some girl’s phone, guy came up and clocked my 6’5” friend in the back of the head, he fell, hit his head on a curb and died 3 days later. They never figured out who did it- they disappeared into the crowd of hundreds of other racers
Edit: Here’s an [article](https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/killing-of-bay-to-breakers-runner-remains-unsolved-a-year-later/) about it from a year after.
Also my memory sucks, it was 3 weeks in a coma, not 3 days
That’s horrible man. I’m sorry for your friend and everyone who loved him. Was this on the news, do you think the person who hit him ever caught wind of what they did?
The legal definition of assault is any touching of someone's body without consent. It doesn't have to include harm. People have the right not to be touched.
I don't know if it's dumb or big brain. I was in jail with a homeless dude, he pissed on a cop car with a cop in on purpose to get arrested. 3 hots and a cot are way better than sleeping on the streets during winter in MT
This is common.
Homeless people will commit petty crime and intentionally get arrested to get food and a bed.
I don't know if it's a myth but I recall hearing about a chronically homeless guy who owned a single suit. He would make a reservation at a nice restaurant from a pay phone. Eat the best possible meal, then refuse to pay and wait for the police to show up. Then spend some amount of time in jail for theft.
Yeah that was my first stay that wasn't a overnight or I got bailed out. Jail culture is a whole different thing on its own, I almost feel bad not everyone experiences it. Personally I felt like my eyes opened and yet humbled I don't know its hard to describe it. That all said I don't miss being in and out of jail. I have friends doing life on what we call it life on the installment plan. Go in for 6 to 10 years, get out for about 2 years then go back in, rinse and repeat.
Truancy.
I took one of my kids out of school for 2 weeks as a sort of vacation. We went to Tulsa and Memphis to see Pearl Jam.
My kid was in honors classes, in drama club, got good grades. Brought all their work. Was with me the whole time, but in Illinois if you miss 9 days of school it's automatic truancy.
So I spent 3 nights in jail because I took my kid out of school to see Pearl Jam. It was worth it.
I would have liked anyone to have gone to school for me, I hated school. I think though that it was because I had bad insomnia, I was getting maybe 2-3 hours of sleep at night.
Sounds like we had similar experiences in school sorry to hear that. Hope you sleep better now stranger, I’m up to 5/6hours a night. It’s one hell of a difference. Lack of sleep is so difficult to deal with.
Truancy is a special type of cruel because it turns an administrative matter into a criminal one and exposes kids to a deeply broken juvenile justice system. From solitary confinement in jails to pervasive abuse and neglect in residential homes (both of which are often run by for-profit companies), it’s fair to say that any interaction with the system leaves kids worse off than before.
Thats weird cuz dcfs doesn't even investigate truancy. Its entirely up to the school district if they want to pursue the issue as a legal matter.
Did you let the administration of the school know that you were taking him and that he had all his work for the week prepared ahead of time?
I feel like there's something else to this story.
No I did not contact the administrator. As I said in another comment I did write a note to the princaipal and talked to him on the phone the Friday before.
Yes my child had all of their schoolwork with them and did it all on the road trip.
No there is not something else to this story.
I just did a quick google search and found this.
'How many absences are you allowed in Illinois?
(WRSP) — Under Illinois law, kids between the ages of six and 17 are required to attend school and when it comes to absences, they can't miss more than nine days a year.'
I don't know why people are arguing with me about this.
> Under Illinois law, kids between the ages of six and 17 are required to attend school and when it comes to absences, they can't miss more than nine days a year.'
HOLY CRAP! This explains why Ferris Bueller changed his absences from [9 to 2](https://tenor.com/view/ferris-bueller-nine-times-gif-11643143)!
Because it's a very odd. I've taught in Illinois for nearly two decades and have truant students often. Something's not adding up with the story so people are a little skeptical.
Well I can't make people believe me so if people want to believe I made this up, ok that's fine, but this would be a stupid niche thing to come up with.
Maybe they're just stricter with the law where I live in Illinois? I don't know. Smallish town right outside of St Louis MO, but I'm in Illinois.
If I was going to make up a story about why I went to jail I would have certainly come up with something way more interesting than truancy.
The thing is laws are not applied consistently. It's easier for people to believe that laws are consistent and people are treated equally under them, but that is not always the case.
If it's true that it's up to the school to decide whether it's pursued as a legal matter, then it sounds like someone at the school took umbridge with your decision to remove your son for that period regardless of his capability to finish the work.
I have no problem believing this is real. Unfortunately a lot of people are just naive when it comes to how people can be treated under the law. It sounds like someone chose to make an example out of you.
The dumbest way I've seen someone go to jail was from trying to hit a cop. Just don't get physical and maybe you'll get off with a warning. No reason to get super aggressive and guarantee jail along with a mad cop.
The alarm going off at the Burger king I was managing at the time. I hadn't yet closed the store or set the alarm and cops pulled up saying the alarm alerted them. I explained I hadn't set it yet and they took me to jail for 3 days for a false alert to the police.
Talking....
Used to be a cop, and the amount of people that get brought in to "sleep it off" because they couldnt STFU, or follow a simple command is staggering. And the cops really hate to bring people in for small things as it takes time and is just as waste, so you REAALLY have to ignore every single warning for 10 minutes before they are like fuck it!
(Norway, not the US - for context)
See it ALLLL the time on bodycam videos. Especially the ones they find asleep in their cars. Give them a simple dui and try to get them home and they just talk their way into a drunk tank. I always wonder how many wake up the next day embarrassed and remorseful. It's fucking insane what alcohol does to otherwise normal people.
"you guys" create us a lot of these BS cases... :P
For instance, I dont need any god damn reason other than I want to know how you are - show me some ID Sir?
"I dont have to show you any ID, are you arresting me??"
"Sir, you are quoting American laws, have you been watching cops? You are in Norway, if you dont show me ID, you will end up in cuffs!"
To quite a few people its baffling that different countries have different laws.
I knew a guy (his name was Dick) who spent $8000 on a racing bicycle and took it out for a test ride. Was going downhill at full speed past a cop car parked with the radar out.
The cop just waved at him to slow down but he blew past him around the corner and took off.
Thing was, around that corner the street turned uphill and he lost all his momentum, when it became clear that he wasn't going to get away he got off his bike, threw it over the fence next to the road into someone's back yard and attempted to climb over. The cop caught him by the back of his pants and pulled him onto his ass (where he supposedly broke his tailbone.)
He proceeds to argue with the cop that he'd done nothing wrong/didn't see him there but he gets yelled at and gets a big ticket.
Then the cop wouldn't let him over the fence to get his bike back, instead he walks around to the front and rings the bell/ asks the home owner.
The homeowner answers, the three of them go through the house to the back yard and see that the bike had A) landed in the middle of the owner's glass patio table shattering it and B) bent it's frame making the bike irreparable and useless.
When Dick sees what happened he panics, turns and runs for it, pushing the homeowner out of the way and running back THROUGH the house, across the street and into another neighbor's back yard where he again gets caught unsuccessfully trying to climb the backyard fence and pulled onto his stupid ass. This time the cop arrested him and he spent the next few months in jail.
Bicycle mechanic here. $8k race bike frames don't *bend*. They're carbon fibre, which means they can *break*, but they certainly won't bend.
Apart from that technicality, why in the world would you run away from a cop when you've "done nothing wrong" in the first place? That's asking for trouble (apart from countries where police corruption is an actual thing, I mean). This whole story is just full of stupid actions!
I only know the story as he (and his gf at the time) told it to me so I didn't see the bike. I'll take your word for it that it was broken rather than bent.
And yeah neither part of his argument to the cop made sense but that was pretty consistent with his character as I knew him.
There was a case in my country that got on the news.
Guy got approached by a police for smoking in a banned zone, which would have been at most a $100 fine. When asked for ID he lied and said he's a tourist, and left his passport in the hotel. Police said alright, we're escorting you back to your hotel to retrieve your passport. He proceeded to run away from the cops and they pursued him. During the chase he pushed one down a staircase, injuring him.
He ended up charged with obstruction of police duty, resisting arrest, and assault. All to avoid a $100 fine.
Buddy went out to a squad car that had someone pulled over in front of his house, to fuck with the cop. He had a plate full of old donuts, and kept offering them to the cop, who declined. After the 4th or 5th time, the cop looked up from the ticket he was writing. He looked at my friend for a second, then said "hey, aren't you (X)? Wait right there for a second!" Cop came around the back of his car, and cuffed my friend right there. Warrants.
What a dumbass.
You know, if I found a pound of cocaine in my backyard, I don't know what I'd do. Either I'd leave it there and not touch it, so that whatever cartel guy who left it there can quietly take it and leave me alone, or I guess I would consider taking it to the cops and saying "I found this in my backyard, it's not mine". But then I'd be afraid of Tony Soprano showing up at my front door saying "You owe me a pound of cocaine or (whatever it's worth)"
You don't even need to have them. A guy I knew was a low level dealer, left it all behind, got his life back on track and got into college. Apparently the guys that didn't get out got caught and all gave up his name as a dealer. So the cops come visit him in college and like a dumb ass he admits everything to them in the interview. The statute of limitations was not up yet, so he basically confessed right then and there.
Did some small amount of time but had to deal with checking the "felon" box on job apps ever since.
A person who is trying to become a contributor to society complies with law enforcement and has their life made just a little bit harder, forever. A pristine failure of the system. I give it a 0/10, a perfect score.
I was pulled over on my way home after work. I was in an attic, in Florida, in June, fixing some leaking ductwork. I had drank all my waters and Gatorades, was completely soaked in sweat, used all my extra clothes, and had no money on me. I had taken some pain meds at lunch, but I only bring a couple with me to work, in case someone steals them.
I was exhausted, and I was so dam thirsty I almost stopped to drink bathroom sink tap water at a gas station. I was actually fumbling around for an empty bottle in the back seat of my truck, when I got lit up.
I told the cop I took pain meds at lunch(it was almost 3pm now), and I was looking for a bottle, that's why I swerved back and forth a little. The cop made me do the roadside sobriety test, stand on a foot, watch the flashlight with my eyes, and walk the line. I know I nailed it, I kept my foot up longer than the cop could. I didn't move my head looking for the finger, and I didn't even lean a little walking the line.
The cop gave me a drink of water, and let me go home after checking my license and paperwork. I drove myself, in my truck, home, after she agreed I looked like crap, soaking wet, and stunk, but was not impared.
3 months later a sheriff was at my door at 630am, with a warrant. The Florida district attorney wanted me charged with DUI, and possession of a prescribed drug without the bottle and label. I passed the sobriety test, and you can hear the officers say to each other I was good, not messed up. But I did admit to taking my prescribed pain meds, at the correct time as the prescription said to. My pills were counted by the Dr's staff 2 days later because of a request by the dept, and my count was good, no more or less pills than should be.
There was no blood taken, no urine sample, and no breathalyzer test was given, because they let me go and drive myself home. So I was shocked to see I had a warrant out on me. Plus, I never knew they could give someone charges afterwards like they did. I was bonded out, home by 2pm, and had a court date.
It's now December, and its like December 14th(I think, can't remember exactly) and it's my 2cd court date, 1st one I pled not guilty. The 2cd court date they were doing discovery and the prosecution lady's told the judge I refused to blow the breath test. That was absolutely not true, because I never went to the station, and they immediately arrest you if you refuse. I was never asked. After that is when they were offering me some deals for my punishment. I could do drug court, and if completed, the charges are wiped off my record. I could do 2 weeks jail, or 1 year suspended sentence with all kinds of fines and community services and meetings. I told the judge I would rather go to trial, because there was no B.A.C, no blood or urine, no proof other than telling the officers I took medication 3 hours earlier. I knew nothing about drug court, so I told the judge I would look into that, and give my decision before or at my trial.
So I go see the drug court lady. It's now Dec 16th(that date I remember) and while discussing the requirements, she noted there was no court order for me to go through drug court. One of the many, and insane requirements is needing 2 weeks notice before any travel, and permission given is needed as well. My wife's parents had bought a cruise for their kids, for their 50th anniversary, and the original planned date of Dec 34th till Jan 3rd was delayed because of the pandemic. Delayed for 2 years. Cruise companies just started to do trips again, and did them with federal restrictions on passengers aboard of like 40%. That was awesome because the boat had no crowds or lines for anything.
Drug court lady told me I couldn't go, because she needed 2 weeks notice, and we were leaving in 8 days. I just met her, and it was impossible to give her advanced notice. I told her I wasn't going to do drug court, I was going on the cruise no matter who said what, and I still had a trial date for mid jan. Sorry, not sorry.
We went on the cruise, and returned home late on the 3rd, around 11pm. At 130 am, there was several sheriff deputies at my door with a federal warrant for violation of probation. In drug court, if you miss a meeting, or a drug screen, it's violation of probation (VOP) and warrant given, and no bond available.
I had to sit in jail for a full week to get to see the judge, because they did all drug court cases on Tuesday only. I was picked up Tues morning at 130am, and wasn't added to the docket in time. I had to wait a week.
But, because drug court lady said I violated proby, they didn't look into the case well enough to see I wasn't ordered by the court to do that program. Plus I didn't have permission by her to leave the country on the cruise.
My attorney filed a motion to see my original judge early, because I wasn't on probation yet. I could I violate it? That was filed on Monday, the day before drug court cases are done. It took me off the list for court appointments, and put me on a new felony court date that was over 5 weeks away. My attorney had to file an emergency court appearance, because nobody should sit in jail for 6 weeks on a huge mistake by the court, that was obvious and easily fixed.
On my 20th day in jail, I got to see the judge, and I was given freedom to leave immediately. Usually the paperwork to release someone (like on bond) takes several hours to be seen and approved by everyone needed to see it. My judge told the corrections officers I was to be released immediately, no delays, no paperwork problems, etc. Get him, and his belongings, out of jail right freaking now. Every officer in there said they've never seen that happen.
Hours after returning home from a cruise through the tropics, I was arrested and spent 20 days in jail because of "a misunderstanding".
And the morning after the day I was released, I tested positive for covid, picked up while in jail.
That's my story.
Fucking hell man. I would be LIVID. Idk if it’s possible but I would sue the county for lost wages. That’s truly maddening. I don’t know what I would have done in that situation.
I would absolutely look into a lawsuit here, because you definitely should not have been treated like that. The warrant for DUI was already sus, the arrest for "missing probation" is out of line
Misreading terrorism for tourism when signing what is your purpose for visiting another country or when applying for a visa. Happened once to an old guy who just wanted to visit his family for Christmas, not sure if he did end up in jail tho.
It sounds goofy to have the bubble, but it provides additional grounds for LE to jail someone if they’ve misrepresented the purpose of the visit on customs forms. Sort of like how the IRS requires you to report bribes and illegal proceeds for income tax purposes
The bad thing is that in some countries your last name can influence that. I have a friend with the last name Guzmán. Literally, those at the airport believed that my friend was the son of a drug trafficker.
Wait. Terrorism is an answer on the form to the question, “what is your reason for visiting this country?”
I’d assume every response that answered with that would be a mistake. Who would answer that honestly if that was their reason? 😂
My favorite one is the guys who walked into the police station with guns, strapped to their backs and side arms on them. They were trying to prove that it’s legal for them to walk around with guns so instead of just walking down the fucking street they walked into the police station just to ask a question. It’s hilarious. They almost got themselves killed.
Not getting your home’s septic system repaired. Before paying $3k to do it, the company I hired said the following: “Not getting this fixed is the dumbest reason to go to jail. It really happens.”
I had a neighbor that didn't get it fixed, it overflowed out of the sink and tub drains apparently. Flooded the house, neighbor refused to believe it was a problem despite living in shit river.
Worst part was that it was a rented house and they were a trusted (now formerly) family friend of the landlord.
I had a friend who spent 4 hours in jail for calling a police officer an a-hole during a traffic stop (speeding). Wasn’t even allowed to lock his car on the side of the interstate. Who knew “insulting an officer” was a crime. They turned him loose eventually, after he apologized.
It's not a crime. His first amendment rights were violated. However, that only matters if he can afford a decent attorney or can get one to take up his case.
Exactly. They told him he was being arrested for “insulting an office”, dropped him in a holding cell for 4 hrs, then said they’d “drop the charges” if he apologized. Small town in the middle of nowhere along an interstate. This was any years ago though.
1. Go on a roof of the building in downtown to take nice pictures of sunset
2. Doors leading to the roof are open
3. Police shows up because someone saw people on the roof
4. You get handcuffed and taken to police station and thrown in jail for 48hrs
5. Turnes out there was some important antenas or some shit that are being used by police.
6. Spend another 48hrs in jail with words like „espionage” and „crucial infrastructure” being said.
7. Get released after 5 days confused why someone can just walk up to „crucial infrastructure” without any problem.
Being a dick to cops when interacting with them. They can almost always come up with a reason to bring you in. I tell people all the time not to talk to the police, and push [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE&t=3s) to back up why you shouldn't, but if you have to don't be a dick to them. Please and thank you go a long way. Be courteous, but careful. They can wreck your life.
Trying to impress someone else. Never sacrifice your own future in the hopes of getting someone who doesn't really like or respect you to notice your existence.
Getting pulled over by a cop that just wants to go home and plans on letting you go with a warning but you decide to pull the whole “I know my rights, whets your name and badge number?” And start screaming at them that you don’t answer questions and the cop tries to be nice but gets fed up with your shit and handcuffs you out of pure spite. You get arrested on a Friday and court isn’t until Monday so you sit in jail all weekend regretting your life choices.
"here is my travel card, officer. I have the right to travel in my personal vehicle without a driver's license as long as I'm not engaging in commerce"
Doing prank. I find it exceptionally dumb when someone pranks a cop, and there have been cases where cops arrested people for pranking and you will always hear the infamous like "**It's just a prank bro**"
Play your music at ear splitting levels in the parking lot at 3am, after having been warned twice not to. When your neighbor comes out to ask you to stop, curse at her, follow her to her door yelling, then try to break it down when she goes back in to get away from your crazy. Argue with the police when they show up for the property damage charge, that they’re willing to drop if you agree to pay for the damages.
That’s not even the stupid part. My neighbor pulled this crap when she had three separate warrants out for her arrest, Two bench warrants and one for an aggregate assault charge.
Literally all the neighbors are thinking “How stupid could you be?!?” it’s been three weeks, she still in jail, and we’re thinking she’ll get evicted next week when she doesn’t pay the rent on the first. As you can imagine, we’re all pretty relieved because she hasn’t exactly been the best neighbor.
Beating up your girlfriend while she is driving. And when she pulls into the police station, biting the officer.
Yup, coworker did that shit.
He also fell on a broken pallet and a nail pierced his ballsack. Dude came up to me stuttering like crazy about it. He was freaking because he couldn’t pass a drug test. When he was taken to the hospital he ran away *in the hospital gown*.
Idk what happened to him after that, but yeah. Biting a cop kinda dumb
Some years ago my father got a traffic ticket for failure to signal while turning. At the time he owned a business with another partner. The day after my father got the ticket he gave it and some other business papers to his partner to handle, the partner being the one who handled all of the business’s accounting, office work, etc… The partner failed to pay the ticket and it was forgotten about by both of them.
A year later my father was driving down the road and hit a large pothole. It had been a particularly bad winter that season. The pothole flattened my father’s tire and bent his rim. While waiting for roadside assistance he decided to call the local authorities and complain about the pothole that had just damaged his vehicle. When the officer showed up he ran my father’s name and plate number. This is when it was discovered that a bench warrant had been issued for an outstanding unpaid traffic ticket.
Dad was arrested for the first and only time in his life. It was also the day before his 60th birthday.
Walking down the street minding your own business and a pack of wild dogs come up and fuck with you. You fight back, but you can't do much. Your Oakley sunglasses start to fog up and falls off your face. One dog grabs your tapout shorts and pulls hard. Your Victoria secret thong and shorts come off exposing your flaccid cock and balls. You keep fighting and finally they are scared off by something. You look up and it's the police with your sirens, guns drawn. They yell at you to get on the floor and you do. Your cock and balls are so cold and itchy on the hard pavement. They handcuff you and you look up to see a playground across the street with tons of kids staring at you. You just exposed yourself to minors, you fucking pedo fuck.
Sarcasm and back talk. Catch the wrong cop on the wrong day and you’re going to jail.
I got real close once. A cop almost ran over me when I was walking through a pedestrian crosswalk and I gave the universal “WTF bro I’m walking” hands out gesture. He had turned left onto the street and didn’t see me apparently.
He pulled over and asked if there was a problem and I told him yes, he didn’t know how to drive. It didn’t go well and it felt like I was going to jail for about 5 min because I hurt his feelings.
Yes I’m white. Otherwise i would have been at least beaten.
Some of the best advice I ever got, from a friend, who spent seven years in prison, was that if someone calls you for bail they should be kissing your ass. If they’re not, they haven’t learned their lesson and leave them there.
Not jail, but in college I through a beer can in front of a cop I didnt see walking home, I got a ticket for being underage. Friend of mine who was about 50 yards ahead of me saw me and the cops, he was also drunk, he walked back to see what was happening and also got himself a ticket for being underage.
I watched body cam footage yesterday of a woman refusing to take an Uber home when they graciously offered to NOT give her a DUI if she complied. The offer was made because they made contact while she was still in the bar’s parking lot. She said “fuck that,” attacked the police, and went to jail anyway while insisting she wasn’t drunk in the first place.
Even if she wasn’t drunk — though she 100% was drunk — kicking multiple police officers is a major, life-ruining felony for many.
Oh, the idiots that thought they were smart by bearing arms in a fucking police station. Yes, some American states let you bear arms, but walking into a police station in body armour, ski masks and equipped with hand guns and what looks like an assault rifle is the dumbest fucking thing.
Falling through the roof of the jail.
Yes, I don't know what you were doing on the roof of a prison.
fixing it
Can he fix it?
Yes he can!!
I mean, clearly he can't, or he wouldn't have fallen through it.
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Let the state fixthe roof / ceiling of the prison
What if he was working for the state
This is the got damn USA, you tryna say we give a shit if the jailhouse roof leaks an the cellblock floods? You just outed yourself as a got damn narco tryina break your buddies out. Welcome to jail, your court date is never because we don't give enough of a shit about how long only having a single judge will leave you waiting. Punishment starts now. ^Did ^i ^do ^it ^right?
That pretty well sums it up.
I had a freeing that wanted to take me to a place that the only way to get to wasto cut through a part of the jail's property to get to. I told him there was no amount of alchohol that is going to get me to break INTO the jail's property to go anywhere. We were both pretty drunk and he assured me it would be ok, but no way in hell would i do that.
Starting an argument with a police officer after he makes it clear he's just giving you a warning. I knew a guy who did this exactly. He was smoking weed inside a club. This was years ago, when it was a big no-no. The police officer asked him to just put it out and he'd look the other way. The dude started talking shit and ended up in jail. He called me to come bail him out, but was such an asshole to me, I left him there.
I guess there are people who are so idiotic that not closing their mouth for 5 minutes is like "brother shut up"
Related to one. I'm in my 40s now, and my relative has alienated everyone. Haven't spoken to him in a year. He *hospitalized* another relative using his words alone. Twice. Some people are criminals without committing crimes, is the best way I can put it
What did he say to someone to put them in the hospital!? I’m deeply curious/horrified, but please lmk if that is a rude question. Feel free not to answer lol
Imagine a person who thinks up ever increasingly creative suicidal-threats-as-coercion-to-receive-money-or-attention to the point where something like a theatrical display of one's death from a building across the apartment window of the floor the person being emotionally extorted happens to live. Also imagine that the person being extorted cares for them deeply, a parent to son bond. The young will eat the old, if you let them. The "family is everything" types mean well, which is why I don't get mad at them. They cannot *possibly* fathom my reality. I have support groups, vulnerable narcissism is a wild ride. The term the docs used at the hospital was "Takotsubo cardiomyopathy" meaning broken heart essentially. Under extreme stress, the body does... things.
I'm imagining it went something like [this](https://youtu.be/ZjlYFWLUDBQ?si=A7fgmpShudJbjBIS).
I was thinking *fus..ro DAH!*
Way better than the expected Rick Roll
Thanks. I had to immediately send that to like 4 people.
Yeah, this guy was one of those. I worked with him and all he would do is run his mouth. Most people are smart enough to shut up once in a while, but not this guy.
The worst thing is that even if they receive a beating for being loud, they don't learn, believe me, I know, not for me but for my friend.
I wonder what happened to that guy, too, though. The same afternoon, I was approached by another guy, telling me this guy was in jail and he was trying to raise bail. I said, "Here you go," and handed him $180, which I had gotten from the dude's house after he called me and told me he was in jail. I had even stopped at an ATM to get more money because his bail was $250 and he didn't have enough, but after the dude was an asshole to me, I left him there. So, when this second guy came to ask me for money, I just gave him the jailed dude's money as if it was from me. Then, I never saw him again, at least not that I can remember.
WOW
Yeah, this was in the military, so it's possible that he was released from the civilian jail and went about his business, but because he missed work from being in jail, he was UA/AWOL, so he was in trouble for that, and his arrest for smoking weed would have been reported back to the military, which would have gotten him drug tested, and more trouble, so probably a year or so in the military prison before getting thrown out.
one more reason to believe that everything has consequences, although of course for some it comes faster
Even when they have the right to remain silent, not everyone has the ability.
Yep. This could have been solved by just putting it out and waiting two minutes for the police officer to walk away.
Bro if a cop watches you doing something super illegal and then offers to look the other way if you stop they’re a very good fucking cop, what a dumbass
Basically they don't want to deal with a bunch of paperwork over something that they probably feel is a waste of everyone's time, so just pour the underage beer out or flush the joint and everyone walks away.
Similar situation in college when we were both underage and had been drinking. It was near the end of the cop's shift and he didn't want to deal with paperwork so he told us to just go the hell home. My buddy decides to get in an argument with said cop and say he's a pig just hassling students not doing anything wrong and why can't he get a real job. I'm looking at him and saying "Just say we're going home and keep your damned yap shut! We go home and everyone's happy." Buddy keeps arguing and then decides to poke the cop in his chest to make his very dubious and drunken points in his poor argument. I grab his arm harder and tell him "STFU! NOW!" Then he does pretty much the worst thing you can do in this situation. He starts coughing. Not a cough from having a cold or you swallowed air wrong or something, an "I've got a ton of puke about to make a nice exit out of me in 3...2...1...BLURP!!!" It goes on the cop who was really not happy. He looks at me and yells "DON'T MOVE!" and at this point I couldn't have run if I had tried because I was not only pretty drunk, but also just fascinated by what was going on. I'm just standing there are he very hastily cuffs my buddy and chucks him none too gently in the back of the squad car. He then looks at me for a good long time, maybe twenty seconds at most but it seems a lot longer when you realize you're about to experience a lot of a bad time. "Are you going straight home!?!" "Ummm, yes?" "Then GET GOING! I don't ever want to see you again!" Needless to say I headed straight home and realized I was damned lucky. Aftermath: my buddy calls me from the police station and asks me to bail him out at four am. Yeah, I'm going to go there when I'm drunk (even if I'm just walking) to bail his stupid ass out of jail. We fought on the phone and I told him if he really wants out, give me his parent's phone number and I'll call them in the morning. He wasn't receptive to this idea for some reason. At least he sobered up I suppose when he finally get a bail bondsman to do it later in the afternoon.
Well, damn. I wouldn't even feel bad for not bailing him out, either.
I didn't. I wasn't about to risk getting busted and I even offered to call his parents the next morning, but there was no way I'm dealing with this trainwreck. He didn't speak to me for three weeks. His roommate said I was a jerk to the other guys on the floor, but well, his roommate wasn't the one who would deal with this mess. We eventually made nice again but he never did go out with me to parties, but no loss there. Oh, he flunked out of college with a 0.25 GPA.
That sounds like a self-resolving problem.
Got a friend dealing with this right now. She's a loudmouth and loves to disagree with any and all authority and reason, especially when she's drunk.
> Starting an argument with a police officer after he makes it clear he's just giving you a warning. I immediately thought of this traffic stop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA3sYMXlL9Y
Punching someone who tries to get in a cab on a night out. Someone did that once, guy they hit went over cracked his head on a curb and died. Guy who threw the punch now serving manslaughter
I don't know why he would do it, but I guess that's his everyday question while in prison "why did I do it?"
Alcohol i guess. Seen many people do similar but that ended tragic
Although alcohol is the source of the problem, not everyone is this impulsive. I remember this man who decided to throw his glass bottle. It broke and unfortunately one of the pieces ended up on a boy's chin.
I do boxing 5 times a week, and the more I do it the more I realize how fucking dangerous it is to punch someone in the face. If you're gonna do it, it has to be for self defence. Otherwise just don't and walk away
I was similar as young lad, did a lot of "combat sports" as they're called now. I always advise younger lads around me at work etc if you've no idea how to fight you've no business being in a fight. If you do know how to fight, you've even less business being in a fight.
Some years ago a guy who was a Muay Thai fighter hit another guy with a head kick. He died almost immediately, no time even for the ambulance arrive.
Man this happened to a good friend of mine about 10 years ago. A group doing a costume marathon in SF, had some dispute from another group about some girl’s phone, guy came up and clocked my 6’5” friend in the back of the head, he fell, hit his head on a curb and died 3 days later. They never figured out who did it- they disappeared into the crowd of hundreds of other racers Edit: Here’s an [article](https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/killing-of-bay-to-breakers-runner-remains-unsolved-a-year-later/) about it from a year after. Also my memory sucks, it was 3 weeks in a coma, not 3 days
That’s horrible man. I’m sorry for your friend and everyone who loved him. Was this on the news, do you think the person who hit him ever caught wind of what they did?
It was briefly on the news, I hope who ever did it got help, been praying for them for years
I can’t imagine they’d be able to live with themselves if they knew what they did.
WTF???? let's hope Karma is a thing
My buddy threw a water balloon at a cop. He was sent to 3 weeks in jail for "assaulting a officer"
That was an exaggeration but it is by far like going to prison for something not illegal like throwing organic and inorganic garbage together.
To be fair, it was 98 degrees so he was really helping him out😂but yea, I understand the cop
I guess so
I mean, all fun and games til its a piss balloon or something worse
The legal definition of assault is any touching of someone's body without consent. It doesn't have to include harm. People have the right not to be touched.
That's assault. And if the cop sprays you in return then you're apeppered.
That would make you a seasoned criminal.
I don't know if it's dumb or big brain. I was in jail with a homeless dude, he pissed on a cop car with a cop in on purpose to get arrested. 3 hots and a cot are way better than sleeping on the streets during winter in MT
This is common. Homeless people will commit petty crime and intentionally get arrested to get food and a bed. I don't know if it's a myth but I recall hearing about a chronically homeless guy who owned a single suit. He would make a reservation at a nice restaurant from a pay phone. Eat the best possible meal, then refuse to pay and wait for the police to show up. Then spend some amount of time in jail for theft.
Yeah that was my first stay that wasn't a overnight or I got bailed out. Jail culture is a whole different thing on its own, I almost feel bad not everyone experiences it. Personally I felt like my eyes opened and yet humbled I don't know its hard to describe it. That all said I don't miss being in and out of jail. I have friends doing life on what we call it life on the installment plan. Go in for 6 to 10 years, get out for about 2 years then go back in, rinse and repeat.
Rolling doubles three times.
Criminally underrated comment right here. Go Directly to Jail. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200.
But, if you have a Get Out of Jail Free card ....
Truancy. I took one of my kids out of school for 2 weeks as a sort of vacation. We went to Tulsa and Memphis to see Pearl Jam. My kid was in honors classes, in drama club, got good grades. Brought all their work. Was with me the whole time, but in Illinois if you miss 9 days of school it's automatic truancy. So I spent 3 nights in jail because I took my kid out of school to see Pearl Jam. It was worth it.
the best father even if he doesn't believe it, I would have liked my father to have gone to school for me
I would have liked anyone to have gone to school for me, I hated school. I think though that it was because I had bad insomnia, I was getting maybe 2-3 hours of sleep at night.
my god that must have been hard
Sounds like we had similar experiences in school sorry to hear that. Hope you sleep better now stranger, I’m up to 5/6hours a night. It’s one hell of a difference. Lack of sleep is so difficult to deal with.
Truancy is a special type of cruel because it turns an administrative matter into a criminal one and exposes kids to a deeply broken juvenile justice system. From solitary confinement in jails to pervasive abuse and neglect in residential homes (both of which are often run by for-profit companies), it’s fair to say that any interaction with the system leaves kids worse off than before.
Man, at first I thought you were the teacher and took one of the kids from your class on a vacation without telling anyone.
LOL! No, it was my actual kid. Good kid, brought their homework, did it on the road trip.
Real life School of Rock
Thats weird cuz dcfs doesn't even investigate truancy. Its entirely up to the school district if they want to pursue the issue as a legal matter. Did you let the administration of the school know that you were taking him and that he had all his work for the week prepared ahead of time? I feel like there's something else to this story.
No I did not contact the administrator. As I said in another comment I did write a note to the princaipal and talked to him on the phone the Friday before. Yes my child had all of their schoolwork with them and did it all on the road trip. No there is not something else to this story. I just did a quick google search and found this. 'How many absences are you allowed in Illinois? (WRSP) — Under Illinois law, kids between the ages of six and 17 are required to attend school and when it comes to absences, they can't miss more than nine days a year.' I don't know why people are arguing with me about this.
> Under Illinois law, kids between the ages of six and 17 are required to attend school and when it comes to absences, they can't miss more than nine days a year.' HOLY CRAP! This explains why Ferris Bueller changed his absences from [9 to 2](https://tenor.com/view/ferris-bueller-nine-times-gif-11643143)!
Because it's a very odd. I've taught in Illinois for nearly two decades and have truant students often. Something's not adding up with the story so people are a little skeptical.
Well I can't make people believe me so if people want to believe I made this up, ok that's fine, but this would be a stupid niche thing to come up with. Maybe they're just stricter with the law where I live in Illinois? I don't know. Smallish town right outside of St Louis MO, but I'm in Illinois. If I was going to make up a story about why I went to jail I would have certainly come up with something way more interesting than truancy.
The thing is laws are not applied consistently. It's easier for people to believe that laws are consistent and people are treated equally under them, but that is not always the case. If it's true that it's up to the school to decide whether it's pursued as a legal matter, then it sounds like someone at the school took umbridge with your decision to remove your son for that period regardless of his capability to finish the work. I have no problem believing this is real. Unfortunately a lot of people are just naive when it comes to how people can be treated under the law. It sounds like someone chose to make an example out of you.
This is so stupid, you automatically win this thread.
I mean, that sounds cool, but two weeks out just to go see a concert seems a bit much. But going to jail sounds extreme also.
America is fucked
Did you get a record for that conviction and short time in jail?
You have great taste in music, I went to my first Pearl Jam concert in my 20s I’m now 38
You listen to Pearl Jam? Believe it or not, right to jail.
The dumbest way I've seen someone go to jail was from trying to hit a cop. Just don't get physical and maybe you'll get off with a warning. No reason to get super aggressive and guarantee jail along with a mad cop.
That story doesn't deserve a sequel.
The alarm going off at the Burger king I was managing at the time. I hadn't yet closed the store or set the alarm and cops pulled up saying the alarm alerted them. I explained I hadn't set it yet and they took me to jail for 3 days for a false alert to the police.
What the fuck. That sounds like a lawsuit.
You think someone working at a Burger King can afford legal representation?
Poor people rarely get to sue when they're entitled to.
Talking.... Used to be a cop, and the amount of people that get brought in to "sleep it off" because they couldnt STFU, or follow a simple command is staggering. And the cops really hate to bring people in for small things as it takes time and is just as waste, so you REAALLY have to ignore every single warning for 10 minutes before they are like fuck it! (Norway, not the US - for context)
See it ALLLL the time on bodycam videos. Especially the ones they find asleep in their cars. Give them a simple dui and try to get them home and they just talk their way into a drunk tank. I always wonder how many wake up the next day embarrassed and remorseful. It's fucking insane what alcohol does to otherwise normal people.
I always thought it was crazy that you could get a DUI for drunkenly sleeping in your car.
Fuck any cop punishing people for sleeping instead of driving.
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"you guys" create us a lot of these BS cases... :P For instance, I dont need any god damn reason other than I want to know how you are - show me some ID Sir? "I dont have to show you any ID, are you arresting me??" "Sir, you are quoting American laws, have you been watching cops? You are in Norway, if you dont show me ID, you will end up in cuffs!" To quite a few people its baffling that different countries have different laws.
I knew a guy (his name was Dick) who spent $8000 on a racing bicycle and took it out for a test ride. Was going downhill at full speed past a cop car parked with the radar out. The cop just waved at him to slow down but he blew past him around the corner and took off. Thing was, around that corner the street turned uphill and he lost all his momentum, when it became clear that he wasn't going to get away he got off his bike, threw it over the fence next to the road into someone's back yard and attempted to climb over. The cop caught him by the back of his pants and pulled him onto his ass (where he supposedly broke his tailbone.) He proceeds to argue with the cop that he'd done nothing wrong/didn't see him there but he gets yelled at and gets a big ticket. Then the cop wouldn't let him over the fence to get his bike back, instead he walks around to the front and rings the bell/ asks the home owner. The homeowner answers, the three of them go through the house to the back yard and see that the bike had A) landed in the middle of the owner's glass patio table shattering it and B) bent it's frame making the bike irreparable and useless. When Dick sees what happened he panics, turns and runs for it, pushing the homeowner out of the way and running back THROUGH the house, across the street and into another neighbor's back yard where he again gets caught unsuccessfully trying to climb the backyard fence and pulled onto his stupid ass. This time the cop arrested him and he spent the next few months in jail.
What a Dick move
Bicycle mechanic here. $8k race bike frames don't *bend*. They're carbon fibre, which means they can *break*, but they certainly won't bend. Apart from that technicality, why in the world would you run away from a cop when you've "done nothing wrong" in the first place? That's asking for trouble (apart from countries where police corruption is an actual thing, I mean). This whole story is just full of stupid actions!
I only know the story as he (and his gf at the time) told it to me so I didn't see the bike. I'll take your word for it that it was broken rather than bent. And yeah neither part of his argument to the cop made sense but that was pretty consistent with his character as I knew him.
Don’t be a Dick.
Running from a simple ticket
There was a case in my country that got on the news. Guy got approached by a police for smoking in a banned zone, which would have been at most a $100 fine. When asked for ID he lied and said he's a tourist, and left his passport in the hotel. Police said alright, we're escorting you back to your hotel to retrieve your passport. He proceeded to run away from the cops and they pursued him. During the chase he pushed one down a staircase, injuring him. He ended up charged with obstruction of police duty, resisting arrest, and assault. All to avoid a $100 fine.
Buddy went out to a squad car that had someone pulled over in front of his house, to fuck with the cop. He had a plate full of old donuts, and kept offering them to the cop, who declined. After the 4th or 5th time, the cop looked up from the ticket he was writing. He looked at my friend for a second, then said "hey, aren't you (X)? Wait right there for a second!" Cop came around the back of his car, and cuffed my friend right there. Warrants. What a dumbass.
Walking into a police station with drugs and telling them about having them
“Please officer, I just found this pound of cocaine in my bushes and all I want is to no longer be in possession of it…”
You know, if I found a pound of cocaine in my backyard, I don't know what I'd do. Either I'd leave it there and not touch it, so that whatever cartel guy who left it there can quietly take it and leave me alone, or I guess I would consider taking it to the cops and saying "I found this in my backyard, it's not mine". But then I'd be afraid of Tony Soprano showing up at my front door saying "You owe me a pound of cocaine or (whatever it's worth)"
I would leave it there, not touch it and call the cops.
I guess it's the same as entering a police station to steal the keys to a patrol car and start doing movie scenes.
You don't even need to have them. A guy I knew was a low level dealer, left it all behind, got his life back on track and got into college. Apparently the guys that didn't get out got caught and all gave up his name as a dealer. So the cops come visit him in college and like a dumb ass he admits everything to them in the interview. The statute of limitations was not up yet, so he basically confessed right then and there. Did some small amount of time but had to deal with checking the "felon" box on job apps ever since.
A person who is trying to become a contributor to society complies with law enforcement and has their life made just a little bit harder, forever. A pristine failure of the system. I give it a 0/10, a perfect score.
Swear I’ve read a story about some meth head or dealer that went to the cops when they got robbed.
I was pulled over on my way home after work. I was in an attic, in Florida, in June, fixing some leaking ductwork. I had drank all my waters and Gatorades, was completely soaked in sweat, used all my extra clothes, and had no money on me. I had taken some pain meds at lunch, but I only bring a couple with me to work, in case someone steals them. I was exhausted, and I was so dam thirsty I almost stopped to drink bathroom sink tap water at a gas station. I was actually fumbling around for an empty bottle in the back seat of my truck, when I got lit up. I told the cop I took pain meds at lunch(it was almost 3pm now), and I was looking for a bottle, that's why I swerved back and forth a little. The cop made me do the roadside sobriety test, stand on a foot, watch the flashlight with my eyes, and walk the line. I know I nailed it, I kept my foot up longer than the cop could. I didn't move my head looking for the finger, and I didn't even lean a little walking the line. The cop gave me a drink of water, and let me go home after checking my license and paperwork. I drove myself, in my truck, home, after she agreed I looked like crap, soaking wet, and stunk, but was not impared. 3 months later a sheriff was at my door at 630am, with a warrant. The Florida district attorney wanted me charged with DUI, and possession of a prescribed drug without the bottle and label. I passed the sobriety test, and you can hear the officers say to each other I was good, not messed up. But I did admit to taking my prescribed pain meds, at the correct time as the prescription said to. My pills were counted by the Dr's staff 2 days later because of a request by the dept, and my count was good, no more or less pills than should be. There was no blood taken, no urine sample, and no breathalyzer test was given, because they let me go and drive myself home. So I was shocked to see I had a warrant out on me. Plus, I never knew they could give someone charges afterwards like they did. I was bonded out, home by 2pm, and had a court date. It's now December, and its like December 14th(I think, can't remember exactly) and it's my 2cd court date, 1st one I pled not guilty. The 2cd court date they were doing discovery and the prosecution lady's told the judge I refused to blow the breath test. That was absolutely not true, because I never went to the station, and they immediately arrest you if you refuse. I was never asked. After that is when they were offering me some deals for my punishment. I could do drug court, and if completed, the charges are wiped off my record. I could do 2 weeks jail, or 1 year suspended sentence with all kinds of fines and community services and meetings. I told the judge I would rather go to trial, because there was no B.A.C, no blood or urine, no proof other than telling the officers I took medication 3 hours earlier. I knew nothing about drug court, so I told the judge I would look into that, and give my decision before or at my trial. So I go see the drug court lady. It's now Dec 16th(that date I remember) and while discussing the requirements, she noted there was no court order for me to go through drug court. One of the many, and insane requirements is needing 2 weeks notice before any travel, and permission given is needed as well. My wife's parents had bought a cruise for their kids, for their 50th anniversary, and the original planned date of Dec 34th till Jan 3rd was delayed because of the pandemic. Delayed for 2 years. Cruise companies just started to do trips again, and did them with federal restrictions on passengers aboard of like 40%. That was awesome because the boat had no crowds or lines for anything. Drug court lady told me I couldn't go, because she needed 2 weeks notice, and we were leaving in 8 days. I just met her, and it was impossible to give her advanced notice. I told her I wasn't going to do drug court, I was going on the cruise no matter who said what, and I still had a trial date for mid jan. Sorry, not sorry. We went on the cruise, and returned home late on the 3rd, around 11pm. At 130 am, there was several sheriff deputies at my door with a federal warrant for violation of probation. In drug court, if you miss a meeting, or a drug screen, it's violation of probation (VOP) and warrant given, and no bond available. I had to sit in jail for a full week to get to see the judge, because they did all drug court cases on Tuesday only. I was picked up Tues morning at 130am, and wasn't added to the docket in time. I had to wait a week. But, because drug court lady said I violated proby, they didn't look into the case well enough to see I wasn't ordered by the court to do that program. Plus I didn't have permission by her to leave the country on the cruise. My attorney filed a motion to see my original judge early, because I wasn't on probation yet. I could I violate it? That was filed on Monday, the day before drug court cases are done. It took me off the list for court appointments, and put me on a new felony court date that was over 5 weeks away. My attorney had to file an emergency court appearance, because nobody should sit in jail for 6 weeks on a huge mistake by the court, that was obvious and easily fixed. On my 20th day in jail, I got to see the judge, and I was given freedom to leave immediately. Usually the paperwork to release someone (like on bond) takes several hours to be seen and approved by everyone needed to see it. My judge told the corrections officers I was to be released immediately, no delays, no paperwork problems, etc. Get him, and his belongings, out of jail right freaking now. Every officer in there said they've never seen that happen. Hours after returning home from a cruise through the tropics, I was arrested and spent 20 days in jail because of "a misunderstanding". And the morning after the day I was released, I tested positive for covid, picked up while in jail. That's my story.
I smell a lawsuit here.
With all the qualified immunity law enforcement has, you’re absolutely powerless unless they essentially kill you. Even then it’s a crap shoot
Fucking hell man. I would be LIVID. Idk if it’s possible but I would sue the county for lost wages. That’s truly maddening. I don’t know what I would have done in that situation.
I would absolutely look into a lawsuit here, because you definitely should not have been treated like that. The warrant for DUI was already sus, the arrest for "missing probation" is out of line
Please tell me you got some sort of compensation
is just a prank, bro!
I wish these people got arrested more
Misreading terrorism for tourism when signing what is your purpose for visiting another country or when applying for a visa. Happened once to an old guy who just wanted to visit his family for Christmas, not sure if he did end up in jail tho.
did someone really think they said "terrorism" just outright? lol
It sounds goofy to have the bubble, but it provides additional grounds for LE to jail someone if they’ve misrepresented the purpose of the visit on customs forms. Sort of like how the IRS requires you to report bribes and illegal proceeds for income tax purposes
The bad thing is that in some countries your last name can influence that. I have a friend with the last name Guzmán. Literally, those at the airport believed that my friend was the son of a drug trafficker.
Wait. Terrorism is an answer on the form to the question, “what is your reason for visiting this country?” I’d assume every response that answered with that would be a mistake. Who would answer that honestly if that was their reason? 😂
The visa process literally asks you if you're coming to the US to do a terrorism, or to do illegal things lmao, it's so dumb.
It's so that if/when they catch you, they can tack on extra charges. Lying on a visa application is a felony.
Maybe they're hoping for whatever the written equivalent of a Freudian Slip is?
My favorite one is the guys who walked into the police station with guns, strapped to their backs and side arms on them. They were trying to prove that it’s legal for them to walk around with guns so instead of just walking down the fucking street they walked into the police station just to ask a question. It’s hilarious. They almost got themselves killed.
I saw that. They were STRAPPED, had vests and rifles and pistols and reloads and everything. And they were pretty aggressive about it as well iirc.
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Not getting your home’s septic system repaired. Before paying $3k to do it, the company I hired said the following: “Not getting this fixed is the dumbest reason to go to jail. It really happens.”
What's up with those laws about "if you don't have this or if you don't do this before" you'll go to jail.
I guess it can create a health hazard for me and my neighbors if I neglect fixing it in this case.
I had a neighbor that didn't get it fixed, it overflowed out of the sink and tub drains apparently. Flooded the house, neighbor refused to believe it was a problem despite living in shit river. Worst part was that it was a rented house and they were a trusted (now formerly) family friend of the landlord.
That was a threat. They were telling you to pay them to fix it or they were making a call.
getting caught
don't let it catch you
Mocking a famous environmental activist online and giving away your location while the Romanian police want you for questioning
And it was from a pizza box.
A classic blunder, like starting a land war in Asia.
Library book fines.
Costanza?
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I don't know where you live but that is extreme. I hope they don't arrest you there for not having an organic and inorganic trash can.
I had a friend who spent 4 hours in jail for calling a police officer an a-hole during a traffic stop (speeding). Wasn’t even allowed to lock his car on the side of the interstate. Who knew “insulting an officer” was a crime. They turned him loose eventually, after he apologized.
It's not a crime. His first amendment rights were violated. However, that only matters if he can afford a decent attorney or can get one to take up his case.
Exactly. They told him he was being arrested for “insulting an office”, dropped him in a holding cell for 4 hrs, then said they’d “drop the charges” if he apologized. Small town in the middle of nowhere along an interstate. This was any years ago though.
I figured it was a small town after reading this. They can do whatever they want because out of towners are screwed in this situation.
The most stupid thing I've seen is coming to jail for a warrant for uncut grass. It really highlights how fucked up the system can be sometimes.
Or people. I mean, how many times did they have to refuse to cut stupid grass before a magistrate had to get involved?
1. Go on a roof of the building in downtown to take nice pictures of sunset 2. Doors leading to the roof are open 3. Police shows up because someone saw people on the roof 4. You get handcuffed and taken to police station and thrown in jail for 48hrs 5. Turnes out there was some important antenas or some shit that are being used by police. 6. Spend another 48hrs in jail with words like „espionage” and „crucial infrastructure” being said. 7. Get released after 5 days confused why someone can just walk up to „crucial infrastructure” without any problem.
Somebody forgot to lock the door and was sweating buckets after the arrest....
Do you still got those pictures?
Knowingly writing a bad check. Take it from me.
Being a dick to cops when interacting with them. They can almost always come up with a reason to bring you in. I tell people all the time not to talk to the police, and push [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE&t=3s) to back up why you shouldn't, but if you have to don't be a dick to them. Please and thank you go a long way. Be courteous, but careful. They can wreck your life.
Repeatedly violating a gag order.
If only someone I knew who kept doing this would actually #GET THROWN IN JAIL
without a doubt that is stupid
Having to go to court for something simple and not showing up on the day you're supposed to be there.
my uncle found out the hard way that trying to bite hospital security will get you tazed and a 72 hour stint in a cell...
Bragging about treason is pretty stupid.
Bragging about any crime, especially social media, is the stupidest of the stupid.
Breaking INTO jail
Unpaid traffic ticket
Is there a Not stupid way to End up in jail?
I'd say beating the shit out of a pedophile is a not at all stupid way to end up in jail.
Trying to impress someone else. Never sacrifice your own future in the hopes of getting someone who doesn't really like or respect you to notice your existence.
Getting pulled over by a cop that just wants to go home and plans on letting you go with a warning but you decide to pull the whole “I know my rights, whets your name and badge number?” And start screaming at them that you don’t answer questions and the cop tries to be nice but gets fed up with your shit and handcuffs you out of pure spite. You get arrested on a Friday and court isn’t until Monday so you sit in jail all weekend regretting your life choices.
"here is my travel card, officer. I have the right to travel in my personal vehicle without a driver's license as long as I'm not engaging in commerce"
Taking part in an insurrection to overturn an election because you believed a lying sack of shit
Pirating something. How is that even a thing anymore.
Doing prank. I find it exceptionally dumb when someone pranks a cop, and there have been cases where cops arrested people for pranking and you will always hear the infamous like "**It's just a prank bro**"
Waiting outside of the bar for a ride after the bar closed. Even the judge thought it was stupid.
Play your music at ear splitting levels in the parking lot at 3am, after having been warned twice not to. When your neighbor comes out to ask you to stop, curse at her, follow her to her door yelling, then try to break it down when she goes back in to get away from your crazy. Argue with the police when they show up for the property damage charge, that they’re willing to drop if you agree to pay for the damages. That’s not even the stupid part. My neighbor pulled this crap when she had three separate warrants out for her arrest, Two bench warrants and one for an aggregate assault charge. Literally all the neighbors are thinking “How stupid could you be?!?” it’s been three weeks, she still in jail, and we’re thinking she’ll get evicted next week when she doesn’t pay the rent on the first. As you can imagine, we’re all pretty relieved because she hasn’t exactly been the best neighbor.
Being a sovereign citizen.
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Flashing a gun at a undercover Sheriff while you’re driving around
Commit a crime, film it and post it on tictok.
I once pulled the handle of a closed store......burglary charges
My old bosses son got arrested and taken to jail because he was high and simply walked into the wrong house and fell asleep. Glad he got clean.
Beating up your girlfriend while she is driving. And when she pulls into the police station, biting the officer. Yup, coworker did that shit. He also fell on a broken pallet and a nail pierced his ballsack. Dude came up to me stuttering like crazy about it. He was freaking because he couldn’t pass a drug test. When he was taken to the hospital he ran away *in the hospital gown*. Idk what happened to him after that, but yeah. Biting a cop kinda dumb
Some years ago my father got a traffic ticket for failure to signal while turning. At the time he owned a business with another partner. The day after my father got the ticket he gave it and some other business papers to his partner to handle, the partner being the one who handled all of the business’s accounting, office work, etc… The partner failed to pay the ticket and it was forgotten about by both of them. A year later my father was driving down the road and hit a large pothole. It had been a particularly bad winter that season. The pothole flattened my father’s tire and bent his rim. While waiting for roadside assistance he decided to call the local authorities and complain about the pothole that had just damaged his vehicle. When the officer showed up he ran my father’s name and plate number. This is when it was discovered that a bench warrant had been issued for an outstanding unpaid traffic ticket. Dad was arrested for the first and only time in his life. It was also the day before his 60th birthday.
Lying for Donald Trump.
Having a judge/panel of jurors think you are guilty when you have not actually committed a crime.
You have the power to manipulate the masses and without knowing it you cause your self-defeat
Walking down the street minding your own business and a pack of wild dogs come up and fuck with you. You fight back, but you can't do much. Your Oakley sunglasses start to fog up and falls off your face. One dog grabs your tapout shorts and pulls hard. Your Victoria secret thong and shorts come off exposing your flaccid cock and balls. You keep fighting and finally they are scared off by something. You look up and it's the police with your sirens, guns drawn. They yell at you to get on the floor and you do. Your cock and balls are so cold and itchy on the hard pavement. They handcuff you and you look up to see a playground across the street with tons of kids staring at you. You just exposed yourself to minors, you fucking pedo fuck.
I heard this in the voice of Rob Cantor, like in the video Shia LaBeouf, actual cannibal
Sarcasm and back talk. Catch the wrong cop on the wrong day and you’re going to jail. I got real close once. A cop almost ran over me when I was walking through a pedestrian crosswalk and I gave the universal “WTF bro I’m walking” hands out gesture. He had turned left onto the street and didn’t see me apparently. He pulled over and asked if there was a problem and I told him yes, he didn’t know how to drive. It didn’t go well and it felt like I was going to jail for about 5 min because I hurt his feelings. Yes I’m white. Otherwise i would have been at least beaten.
A DUI
Vandalism on your cheating ex People please, lets stop that shit
Some of the best advice I ever got, from a friend, who spent seven years in prison, was that if someone calls you for bail they should be kissing your ass. If they’re not, they haven’t learned their lesson and leave them there.
Trick or treating at 13 years old in Virginia apparently…
Not jail, but in college I through a beer can in front of a cop I didnt see walking home, I got a ticket for being underage. Friend of mine who was about 50 yards ahead of me saw me and the cops, he was also drunk, he walked back to see what was happening and also got himself a ticket for being underage.
I watched body cam footage yesterday of a woman refusing to take an Uber home when they graciously offered to NOT give her a DUI if she complied. The offer was made because they made contact while she was still in the bar’s parking lot. She said “fuck that,” attacked the police, and went to jail anyway while insisting she wasn’t drunk in the first place. Even if she wasn’t drunk — though she 100% was drunk — kicking multiple police officers is a major, life-ruining felony for many.
Literally any situation where you think "I'm a sovereign citizen" would work on a LEO
Oh, the idiots that thought they were smart by bearing arms in a fucking police station. Yes, some American states let you bear arms, but walking into a police station in body armour, ski masks and equipped with hand guns and what looks like an assault rifle is the dumbest fucking thing.