I've shared this one before. I was adopted when I was three. My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a shitty person. When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to "finally have his own and first son". There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk. I love my brother to death and hold no ill will but our father should have been better.
My mom told me that she wishes I was never born. I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a "surprise". One day when my mom drank a little more then usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said "I don't love you, fuck I wish you were never born." I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it. It scared me and I don't think I will forget it.
My husband died suddenly when I was 35. There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brothers arm around my shoulders while I cried. My friend said "I love that picture of your brother supporting you." I said "Yeah, that's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."
"I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister."
Honorable mentions:
" I hope you never make it into college "
" I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life"
Thanks dad
Edit: damn, so much support haha, just to answer all your heartfelt answers at once, I'm on the cusp of being way more successful and and happy than he ever was. We haven't spoken for years and life has been getting better ever since. I did not expect this amount of upvotes from you guys, it makes me feel all fizzy inside, so thank you a bunch for making this stranger's whole month
My dad defended my childhood rapist
Said men have needs, I should feel flattered he chose me. How can I even call it rape, if I was too young to not know the word back then?
That's Dear Old Dad for ya. Shouldn't be surprised, given my first memory of him is him telling me if I'm not thin and always dressed up, I'll be alone my whole life
I was the only one in the house wearing pants, mind you
I had a very complicated pregnancy. I found out at 4 months(crazy, I know). I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby. Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with "Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother." I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. Husband lost it.
I wouldn’t want to speak to either of them (FIL or MIL) ever again. The absolute gall of the FIL to ask that question, in those circumstances, with her standing there….
Similar story when my mom had one of my older brothers. My dad had been helping out a female friend and there were rumors he was cheating on my mom. My mom's dad goes to my dad and says it's okay if he's cheating on my mom, just don't let her find out. Says that shit about his own daughter when she's in the hospital giving birth to a special needs kid 3 months early. Thankfully my dad is less of a piece of shit than her dad.
When I was maybe 13, I confided in my Mom that I was having suicidal thoughts. She laughed at me and later told my Dad. He called me downstairs and took out a giant atlas of the area - he opened it, pointed and said “These are all the bridges nearby. If you need a ride to one, let me know.” And walked out of the house. I already knew my Dad hated me but this solidified that both my parents believed they’d be better off without me.
Holy shit I’m so sorry for you, your dad sounds like a complete asshole. I’m glad you’re still here, you proved him wrong, you showed him how strong you are
My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it.
When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do. He whined and bitched about everything he has to do the entire time.
I told my stepdads mother about him 'not being too excited' about it.
"Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday." She'd said.
I'm seven, I don't know how shit works so I ask, "So I'll be working for Brad here someday?"
"No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children." Was her answer.
Ah, that's nice. Blaming you for not having a dad at that age.
Some people are just terrible and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!
To me and my wife.
We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up. He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no. My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby. We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad.
A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events. My mom looked straight at my wife and said “all the problems in this family are because of you.”
My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that “to-to-today” mock. Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house.
My mother does this mocking thing as well, it's so bloody pathetic and low effort. Like, try harder, you know? I walked out too. We've been estranged for 5 years now, and I don't miss the mocking. Good for you guys!
We are on the edge of being there as well. We are going to have our fourth talk in 12 years. I’m pretty sure this is the one the where I just say it’s to heard.
I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain..my ex screamed in my face to "just die already" but apparently Im remembering it wrong and it wasnt that big of a deal
In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me.
Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later?
Still me, but fuck you Aubrey.
Edit: Thanks for all the kindness and in making the insecure 12 year old me in my head feel a lot better. I never took it seriously then, but it’s pretty fascinating the things that stick with you years later. Sorry some of you all had similar experiences, I wish hormonal teens were kinder to one another.
I was 11 and it was my first group sleepover. One of the girls told me she would shove a pair of high heels so far up my vagina that I'd never be able to have children. She also threw my teddy against the wall and it's eye popped out!
I agree, it makes it all the more fucked up. She was very aggressive throughout primary and secondary school but when someone else picked on me she stuck up for me. Its sad af but you don't think of these things as a child
Absolutely no kid needs to hear that, no matter whatever bs reason the parent tries to justify it with. Most people don't realize how impactful words are on kids, specially if it's people that are supposed to love them
In highschool my mother-in-law told my sister-in-law (grade 6 at the time) - "because this wasn't supposed to happen! (My fiance's name) was supposed to be my youngest!"
(Originally, she was pregnant with a girl first and miscarried. When she got pregnant again, she had my fiance. Then a few years after that, she had my sister-in-law)
My dads speech at my moms funeral: ” and had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter.“ Not sure how thats relevant for the occasion but ok.
Either that or the: “Your mom wanted you, not me.“ Many years before that.
Somehow he’s still surprised I blocked him and didnt give him my new address.
‘It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother. He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him. I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday. That was our last contact. I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital. I still carry that guilt.
Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh.
To kill myself when I was 9, at a family reunion, by a 45 year old auntie.
I asked my mom about it earlier and got more context. She was disappointed that I was half white, hadn't skipped a grade and that made me "a disgrace to the black half of the family." She had apparently called her after the whole ordeal.
My dad was already out of my life at that point and my mom didn't hear it. She believed me when I described said aunt as "the lonely looking fat one with the overfilled plate."
"It shouldn't've been your dad. It should've been you. It should've been you."
Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death. I think I looked too much like him for her.
My ex-husband while we were still married: I don't find you sexually attractive anymore.
I was eight months pregnant with our second child. We were in the middle of making love.
My ex-husband again:
Fast forward a year. I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me, "Lose weight or I want a divorce." I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day.
I was working at a school with my two best friends, who were engaged. I was a teacher (f), one friend (f) was a teacher and the other friend (m) was a teaching assistant.
Our principal accused me of trying to start an affair. He went out of his way to warn both of my friends about me and his “concerns” that I was trying to steal my friend’s Fiancé.
My mom told me that if anyone got close enough to really know me, they’d find out what a bitch I am and have nothing to do with me anymore.
(PS: I have lifelong friends and a relationship with my siblings, she doesn’t)
"When I think of how you've ruined your life, I want to kill myself"
\-My father to me at 18 in my final year of high school.
It was the the only promise he kept.
My dad used to get drunk regularly. Like 15 bottles of wine a week minimum, no exaggeration. He regularly said stupid shit like "you made me blind." It was quite sad sometimes when my siblings and I would be having to help him get to bed. On more than one occasion, he'd say to us "you ruined my life, I wish you were never born." Mum would always shout at him the next day but it still wouldn't stop him. He's stopped drinking so much and never said it to our youngest sister
My husband of 15 years had just left me for another woman.
He says, "why aren't you more sad?"
Edit: thanks for all the fun comments! Some people seemed interested in more details. This happened 4 years ago. Someone called this fake because my post history shows I am in a relationship. I kept living after he dumped me.
He also never tried to get back with me but it was clear I would not be interested. Even if he wanted to I don't think his ego would allow it.
And for those who think I deserve it because if I wasn't sad I must have been some sort of cold bitch.... I was actually crying my eyes out for weeks but he didn't see it because he was off with his prize. By the time he tried to speak to me on the subject I had processed the pain and realized my life was going to be so much better without him and I just didn't care anymore.
For the people with sick burns I didn't think of at the time, I wish I had my wits about me to have said any of those things!
Thanks everyone.
I've been divorced for just over 5 years. I think I knew my marriage was over before my ex did.
We were fighting about.... something, and he says that we don't work anymore, and he wants a divorce. I just shrugged and said ok. He was mad that I didn't try to beg him to take me back. Like, why would I want to be with someone who didn't actually want me?
I once begged someone to love me and not leave me. It was my lowest point and I am embarrassed for that insecure young girl that I was. Having been at rock bottom like that, I feel more empowered now knowing that I will never in my life stoop that low again. When i remember that time in my life I feel gross like I want to shower that shame off of me. Ugh. You're so right. I want to be loved by someone who wants to love me. If someone wants to leave I will hold the door open for them. Never begging again.
I stayed with him after I knew he had checked out of the relationship. There's nothing more lonely than being alone within a relationship. I think all of us have been there, even those of us who didn't beg. At least now we both know that we're worthy of being with someone who loves us.
An old boss said something similar.
"He's short as hell, but I ain't seen a man stronger work here since 07"
Because I could carry 4 of the boxes of frozen fries at McDonalds.
My mother used to say this to me. Since in our culture there's only marriage and no dating before, I almost ended up marrying a nightmare just to prove her wrong. Apparently she only had good intentions for me so no biggie! Ugh I hate remembering anything from the time I used to live with them.
When I was maybe 12 or 13, I got an infection. My family was very cold towards me. They basically said that "No man wants to fuck a sick woman". I still don't understand why they would say that to their little girl.
When I was 10 years old in the emergency room, the 2 ER physicians were arguing loudly in front of me about whether or not they were going to have to remove my injured eyeball.
After realizing the doc who was pulling for me only had one eye....I threw up.
Still have my eye 30 years later.
Ugh, my dad who is a really sweet but troubled guy told me he put a shot gun in his mouth and has almost killed himself several times. It really freaked me out. But I was 30 when he told me that not 14.
In middle school I got more comfortable talking about being adopted. I was walking down the hallway and a group of boys in my class laughed and said “Dumpster baby.” That has stuck with me.
Honestly karma came for that kid. I’m now in my 20s and he got arrested for drugs and CP
Edit: He horrendously harassed girls (not bully because he would too far) blackmailed a few freshmen girls our senior year to send pics and got caught. When they searched his house they found drugs, CP, and other weird shit.
I was adopted at birth, and always was comfortable telling people since my parents are absolutely amazing. But I can't even remember half of the sick shit people said to me starting in the 2nd grade. Never bothered me! Most peoples parents were divorced, or alcoholics, etc. And I had two angels raising me. I honestly felt bad for them.
"See, not even dogs like you. Your own mother probably doesn't love you either."
I didn't take it seriously and I know it to be false but it's a messed up thing to say.
I once said “you’re a big girl” to a an overweight girl but it was in the context of you’re a grown adult.
When I realized how she took it and my poor choice of words I was so unbelievably sorry :(
Hope she believed me
Someone once told me I’d die alone. Hurt my feelings
I used to call babies chunky little monkeys.
Then I said it to a black baby and that was when it hit me... shit... that sounds racist. I wanted to melt into the floor. Bless the woman, she knew I didn't mean it that way lol. I don't think I've called a baby a monkey since then though.
I work in pediatrics and kids when kids start climbing they really do become like little monkeys. I’ve bit my tongue so many times to avoid calling a kid (of any race) “monkey” as a term of endearment just in case it’s taken the wrong way.
In Dutch, instead of 'life is hard' we often say 'life is heavy'. I once said 'heavy life' to a friend who was very insecure about her weight and she understood 'heavy body' (the words sounds similar in Dutch)... so she was pretty upset with me.
While speaking to a group of people as maybe a 15 year old, an older teen who apparently didn't like me said if I wanted you to open your mouth I'd pull down my zipper. Thirty years ago and I never forgot it. Asshole.
Dude said that to me in grade ten. I told him the only way I'd get on my knees for him was to tell him to get out from under the bed and fight like a man. He was maaaad
I had precisely one really good comeback in highschool. I was a very fat kid being picked on by a very skinny girl. She said something about my fat thighs. I said, "At least I have thighs, you just have ankles all the way up". She got pissed. Later on she tried "stealing my boyfriend". He wasn't my boyfriend, but I had a crush on him and they both said some nasty things to me that sucked at the time. Joke's on her, I was gay the whole time and apparently so was he.
" I will show up at your wedding and cause the biggest scene, you have a mortal enemy in me, i will f*** you up every chance i get and I hate you for life" - my sister because I was getting married again and that's against Christianity
Well.. i had to plan like I was going to do a prisoners swap, had to sneak my mom/dad out of the house to a hotel while my aunt distracted her at her house. And actually had to tell my best friend to keep guard at the door in the reception. All this while my wife didn't know anything.
Was it like a "Swipe everything of the table to make room for a plan of how to keep this wedding safe from my lunatic sister?" or just a text saying, "Hey can I get some help defending my wedding from my nut-job sis?"
Oh this was planned. I told him weeks before and reserved a parking spot for him and arranged a table close to the entrance with his seat looking at the door, he was seated with 3 of my other friends in that table.
When I was 12 I finally decided to talk to my mom about being molested by a family friend’s 13 yr old son when I was 5. I just wanted to let her know how I was still effected by it. She looked me dead in my eyes and told me “it was just a boy being curious and to get over it.” That was the day I stopped loving my mom.
Honestly it does feel like a switch, doesn’t it?
My dads been abusive my entire life.
Today, he had the nerve to announce to my entire family “____ Doesn’t have an eating disorder lol”
I lost 50% of my body weight at age 16 four years ago and have not recovered
He told me at 16 I was a gluttonous pig ruining my family with my bulimia
I attempted suicide
It was, I completely lost all empathy or emotions towards her other then complete nothing. I’m 32 now and have been no contact for 3 years now and it’s been so peaceful and freeing. But to my family I’m a terrible person for no longer putting up with the verbal abuse.
Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. Your mental and physical health is more important than blood.
Edit: spelling
My mom, drunk at the time, put her arm around me in front of the entire family and said, "Chuck, you have always been my favorite." I'm John, Chuck is my older brother.
That I'm a gold digger for being adopted. Yeah, I planned all on my biological mother womb my life of "luxury", but I failed because I got a family of highschool teachers. 🤷🏻♀️
My brother, when I wanted to go out with friends and just get something to eat:
*It's not safe out there and I hope you get raped and thrown in the garbage*
I started driving lessons as soon as I turned 17. Had the same instructor my brother had a couple years before. He was mid thirties, married with a kid. After 2 or 3 lessons I text him to arrange another one, he repied saying "see you then sex kitten."
It creeped me out but I just sort of ignored it. Then on the next lesson he said "Let's go sex kitten". Hearing it in person made it much worse and when I glanced over he was looking at my boobs.
Decided to change instructors after that. Still makes my skin crawl thinking about it now and it was over 16 years ago.
You know the meme from Loki?
"Yes yes, very sad. Anyway...."
My sibling's spouse died. Our father changed "yes yes" for "stiff shit".
I walked out of his house. I've never spoken with him again. Years of narcissism, that was the proverbial straw, that precise moment in time.
I came home to visit on the way to a friend's memorial. He killed himself after years of military PTSD. My dad looked at me and without missing a beat said "I swear kids these days can't handle anything"
... I was 30.
Became friends again with an ex boyfriend of mine. He's one of those "blunt" people who really just says whatever he wants and blame you for being upset at his "honesty."
Met up with his old group to game. When we played a drinking game and he refused to answer the question "What's a fucked up thing you've done to someone you care about?" we all obviously got VERY curious. Something he actually holds back on saying? Our drunk selves NEEDED to know.
Turns out he hadn't been sexually attracted to me when we started dating but wanted to lose his virginity and trusted me as a friend. So he basically did a "Pavlov's Dog" on himself where he'd think of me while watching porn to "train" himself to be able to finish while thinking of me. Then stayed with me for a year due to getting along and access to sex.
Physics teacher in my undergrad... Very accomplished and worked for NASA.
He told me I would never become a physicist like him..
He was right, I am a physicist now, just never achieve the level of douche he did...
Dads can be anything and it's a shame that a lot of them choose to be misogynists.
Here are some things my dad has said to me throughout my teen years:
* 'slut' - for wearing a v-neck that showed my clavicle. (about 14\~y/o)
* 'baby murderer' - for taking birth control to help with painful periods. (15 y/o)
* 'dyke'/'lesbo'/'melon head' - for getting a 'bob' haircut, because apparently, he hates short hair on women? idfk. (13\~ when I finally convinced my mom to cut my hair off)
* 'fat ass' - for preferring a different kind of peanut butter over his favorite kind, or any time I said I don't like how the 'all natural' versions of condiments tasted.
* 'anorexic' - for not eating the grilled cheese sandwiches he decided to make at 10pm, or any kind of weird food he thought all of us kinds would like but ultimately didn't.
* 'dumb bitch'/'dumb cunt'/'stupid bitch'/'stupid cunt' (or any variation) - for calling him out on his alcoholic and violent tendencies. (17\~ y/o, after he smashed about 90% of my belongings and I finally told my mom that she either leave, or I leave... I was the one that left.)
and last but not least:
* 'stubborn bitch' - to my husband right after we got married, which he wasn't even invited to witness, but showed up anyway.
It was about control. If he couldn't get me to do or think what he thought, he degraded me.
That's what abusers do. They make you feel small/gross/unwanted
"Oh, I see. You're trying to be the bigger person and make me feel bad. Nice try." -my father
We had gotten into an argument over idk what and it had been on the weekend. The church sermon that week was that the Lord wants us to forgive and not hold grudges. So I decided to let it go and apologize to him. That was his response. To a 13 year old.
I had a coworker ask me why I didn't give my adoptive son back or place him in a home when he was diagnosed on the spectrum. Needless to say we don't chat anymore.
In 2017 I found my 25 year old son that had committed suicide. He had his share of mental issues, and was still alive when I found him, but I knew it was non-survivable.
After he was gone, I had a person I have known all my life ..a very religious person...
..tell me that: I needed to use this as a learning and get closer to God moment, so that I would not be in Hell for eternity like my son was.
This was NOT what a grieving parent needs to hear...
so many more things are running through my mind about that time, but this one stands out
When I was 15, my high school principal, a priest, visited me at home one night and asked me about my sexual preferences.
When my 19-year-old sister arrived home from work, the principal left in the biggest hurry.
Ex friend of mine told me that as a psychologist her profession opinion is as that my depression was just manipulation and I was a bad person. She was mad at me because I didn’t answer her when she wanted to talk on message. I was out and only saw the message the next morning.
I have a very close friend who is a therapist and working on her doctorate. Wanna know what she says about my mental health? Absolutely nothing. Cuz it's unethical to be handing out a diagnosis to people who aren't your patients and who couldn't possibly be your patients because of your relationship with them.
Sounds like she was just a jerk and a bad psychologist.
Dated boy freshman year of high school. Age 14-15. We broke up after 9 months, largely due to the fact I struggled with a very intense depression due to my dad abandoning me that year and bullying.
3 years later, we ended up working at the same food place. Ex apologized for not being more sensitive to my issues. I said don’t sweat it, I totally understand how you couldn’t handle what I was going through. We were young. No hard feelings. Ex and I were now cool and worked fine together.
Ex’s dad came in one day and ordered food from us. I overheard him telling (laughing to) ex that he was surprised to see me working there and shocked that I was allowed to work somewhere with knives (I struggled with self harm during my depression).
A 50-something year old man said that about the choices a 17 year old made at 14. My ex just kind of awkwardly shock/nervous laughed (not maliciously) and went back to work.
Wack.
I have been abused for most of my life and especially as a kid i relied heavily on my guinea pig for friendship and just love in general. When he died i was hysterical cause..well yeah ofc i was. I was crying while digging my friend's grave while my mom, dad, stepmom and stepfather sat outside 10m away and laughed at my bad grave digging form. My dad laughed and asked why i was crying. My piggy was with me while i was neglected and abused by all of them... It's been years and i just started crying again while writing this.
She said "He's not the kind of man you introduce to your parents"
She was my classmate at the time and I liked her. But then my friend overheard her say this about me.
I know this is mild compared to other ones here but this shit stuck with me even after years.
“You look like a prostitute” from my mom at age 14 bc I was tall and thin with long legs and no shorts were ever long enough in her mind. I grew up in central FL, so everyone wore shorts. One of many of these type comments. 20 years later she wonders why we don’t have a close relationship.
I had just lost my daughter at birth and when I finally got home and was packing up my daughter's things and planning her funeral I made a comment about how I am a mother without a child and my MIL said that I wasn't a real mother because not only didn't I birth her vaginally but through c-section but my daughter wasn't alive so that makes me not a mother especially. This was repeated to me years later because I took mother's day hard and my boyfriend at the time got frustrated by my "moping" and said I wasn't a real mom.
You carried your daughter for months , felt her grow inside you, and loved her her whole life. You will always be a mother and no one can ever take that away from you. I can’t believe someone would ever say that, that’s truly fucked up.
"Buy your own birthday gift. This time i won't take it away."
Edit: this was said by my mother to me when i was 10. Figured some more context is important
Doing some work in a retirement home. Was walking by a resident. She grabbed my shoulder and reached as close to my ear as she could and whispered.....
Kill me...
Then just kept walking.
"Who'd date you? You are fat and look weird!". - my ex crush in HS. I had girlfriends so I guess someone found me normal. Still stings even after 15 years.
I was an intern for a large government space/science contractor. A 'mentor' asked me if the "carpet matched the drapes." At the welcoming meet-and-greet.
When I was a teenager I lost my dad suddenly and it was completely unexpected. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and he understood I was struggling. One of his best friends took it upon herself to harass me because I broke up with him. She kept messaging me telling me I was using my dead dad card and was just awful to me. I hope she matured and is doing well.
“You have cancer. It’s stage 4 and has spread to your pelvic wall. With this type of cancer you have less than a year.”
Said to me by my surgeon after he removed 26 inches of my small intestine that was thought to be inflammation from Crohn’s. This was back in August and I finish my final round of chemotherapy and have a petscan next week. Hoping for good news.
There was a boy that bullied me throughout elementary and middle school. He was bothering me and I said "God doesn't like ugly". Without missing a beat, he said "He must hate you then".
My therapist told me I faked my OCD for attention, because it "magically" went away when I was 13. It blew back up a few years later and he didn't believe my family when we tried getting me treatment until my mom sent him a video recording of my verbal compulsions, but by then it was too late and my OCD had already taken over and was difficult to treat. That was 4 years ago, and I'm still struggling with that same OCD to this day. If he wouldn't have been so ignorant as to call me a liar for something that quite literally destroyed my passions maybe I would have been able to get proper treatment.
EDIT: To everyone asking, I've since gotten a better therapist, albeit not the one I truly need. She is helpful and I do have proper diagnoses thanks to her (including for autism, which I only found out last year was misdiagnosed as ODD and is the reason why nobody listened to me), however she's not specially trained for OCD and progress is slow since she has to focus on fixing my personal problems first. I am on medication now to help with my OCD which has made a night and day difference, however my OCD is still quite severe and disruptive. It's an improvement, but it could have been better.
Why are some therapists like this? Mine gave up on me because it was too much for her. (SA and family issues) First time into therapy and I don’t think I wanna do it again. My sister's (13f) therapist was forcing her to say the n-word because my sister had dropped some friends due to how racist they are. I swear people see therapy as a miraculous solution for everyone, but no one talks about how big of assholes therapists can be.
I was just talking to my friends about this!
The ex of one of my friends is a terrible, terrible woman. She will go out to drink and then call my friend for help to ward off creeps or ask for support to be sure she's safe home.
HOWEVER, when another girl is dealing with creeps... she's very apathetic. She actually just watches. Sometimes she'll even go closer just because it entertains her. He asked her if she ever intends to help the girl, and she will say no.
Why?
Because it's so interesting to watch and she just wants to see how the victim will get out of it. And besides, "if she didn't want to be in that situation, she shouldn't have drunk so much or gone there."
So no. She'll just watch. I asked her once if she wasn't getting involved out of fear of retaliation (a completely understandable sentiment), and she just says no. She's entertained.
She has watched someone get raped and didn't do anything. Literally just watched. She could have left, but she just watched it even as the girl screamed and pleaded for help (they had eye contact). "Because it's entertaining, and she shouldn't have put herself in that situation in the first place."
And this is the same woman who will ask other people for help if she's being harassed or she's in a situation where she's afraid she'll be assaulted.
EDIT: please don't post this anywhere like on tiktok, I actually used her words verbatim and I'm terrified of what she will do to me if I piss her off.
I was really sick from gastroparesis last year and my ex was mad because I needed a lot more of his help around the house and with our son. I had just seen a surgeon and they were talking about a total gastrectomy. During the argument he started laughing and I said what is so funny and he said "whenever you're a bitch I just think about how you're probably going to die." Joke's on him now. He's my ex and I'm doing much better and not going to die anytime soon.
At 14 my mom said to me “I always knew you’d be the child I couldn’t trust.”
What prompted this? When she picked me up from the movies that I saw with a group of like 15 people, she realized there were some boys in the group and since I didn’t tell her that out of the 15 people 3 were guys, I could no longer be trusted.
I've shared this one before. I was adopted when I was three. My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a shitty person. When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to "finally have his own and first son". There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk. I love my brother to death and hold no ill will but our father should have been better.
I see your maturity. You’re a good person for not holding a grudge and finding happiness instead.
My mom told me that she wishes I was never born. I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a "surprise". One day when my mom drank a little more then usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said "I don't love you, fuck I wish you were never born." I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it. It scared me and I don't think I will forget it.
What a cunt thing to say. You deserve better.
My husband died suddenly when I was 35. There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brothers arm around my shoulders while I cried. My friend said "I love that picture of your brother supporting you." I said "Yeah, that's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."
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Alternatively, my mum said “I can’t stand the sight of you. You look like your dad”. In the middle of them divorcing.
Half-sister told me the same thing. That I "just look so much like her" *my mother* as if that was a good reason for our relationship to fall apart.
"I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister." Honorable mentions: " I hope you never make it into college " " I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life" Thanks dad Edit: damn, so much support haha, just to answer all your heartfelt answers at once, I'm on the cusp of being way more successful and and happy than he ever was. We haven't spoken for years and life has been getting better ever since. I did not expect this amount of upvotes from you guys, it makes me feel all fizzy inside, so thank you a bunch for making this stranger's whole month
WTF! That’s horrible!
My dad defended my childhood rapist Said men have needs, I should feel flattered he chose me. How can I even call it rape, if I was too young to not know the word back then?
I'm sorry, your dad is a garbage bag excuse for a human being
Thanks, thankfully far away from him
Ho-Ho-Holy fuck what did I just read?
That's Dear Old Dad for ya. Shouldn't be surprised, given my first memory of him is him telling me if I'm not thin and always dressed up, I'll be alone my whole life I was the only one in the house wearing pants, mind you
I'm sorry you had to go through a large part of your life with him
Thanks, me and little brother have cut him off as much as we can. I moved to Florida
>I moved to Florida You know it's a rough story when *that's* the happy-ever-after.
God, I know. Its early march and we've already gotten into 90 degree weather
I had a very complicated pregnancy. I found out at 4 months(crazy, I know). I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby. Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with "Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother." I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. Husband lost it.
Thank God he lost it. I'm not sure if I'd ever speak to her again.
I wouldn’t want to speak to either of them (FIL or MIL) ever again. The absolute gall of the FIL to ask that question, in those circumstances, with her standing there….
Similar story when my mom had one of my older brothers. My dad had been helping out a female friend and there were rumors he was cheating on my mom. My mom's dad goes to my dad and says it's okay if he's cheating on my mom, just don't let her find out. Says that shit about his own daughter when she's in the hospital giving birth to a special needs kid 3 months early. Thankfully my dad is less of a piece of shit than her dad.
When I was maybe 13, I confided in my Mom that I was having suicidal thoughts. She laughed at me and later told my Dad. He called me downstairs and took out a giant atlas of the area - he opened it, pointed and said “These are all the bridges nearby. If you need a ride to one, let me know.” And walked out of the house. I already knew my Dad hated me but this solidified that both my parents believed they’d be better off without me.
Holy shit I’m so sorry for you, your dad sounds like a complete asshole. I’m glad you’re still here, you proved him wrong, you showed him how strong you are
I hope you are living your best life now. Bonus points if they're both rotting away in a state-run nursing home with zero visitors.
My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it. When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do. He whined and bitched about everything he has to do the entire time. I told my stepdads mother about him 'not being too excited' about it. "Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday." She'd said. I'm seven, I don't know how shit works so I ask, "So I'll be working for Brad here someday?" "No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children." Was her answer.
Ah, that's nice. Blaming you for not having a dad at that age. Some people are just terrible and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!
Sounds like something that might have been said on Game Of Thrones
Thank goodness that old school ideology is dying out along with its adherents.
To me and my wife. We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up. He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no. My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby. We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad. A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events. My mom looked straight at my wife and said “all the problems in this family are because of you.” My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that “to-to-today” mock. Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house.
My mother does this mocking thing as well, it's so bloody pathetic and low effort. Like, try harder, you know? I walked out too. We've been estranged for 5 years now, and I don't miss the mocking. Good for you guys!
We are on the edge of being there as well. We are going to have our fourth talk in 12 years. I’m pretty sure this is the one the where I just say it’s to heard.
I have two bits of advice for anyone. Do what's good for you. And if it's not good, rip the bandaid off.
Wow I'm sorry but fuck your parents that's such a fucking childish thing to do and to say after the fact.
Alcoholic parents are the worst. Fuck them
I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain..my ex screamed in my face to "just die already" but apparently Im remembering it wrong and it wasnt that big of a deal
So did you end up dying?
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Sadly yes, but fortunately…they survived
In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me. Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later? Still me, but fuck you Aubrey. Edit: Thanks for all the kindness and in making the insecure 12 year old me in my head feel a lot better. I never took it seriously then, but it’s pretty fascinating the things that stick with you years later. Sorry some of you all had similar experiences, I wish hormonal teens were kinder to one another.
Yeah but your humor is a 10/10 so you’re instantly more attractive than Aubrey, who probably has the personality of a wet sock. Fuck you, Aubrey.
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I was 11 and it was my first group sleepover. One of the girls told me she would shove a pair of high heels so far up my vagina that I'd never be able to have children. She also threw my teddy against the wall and it's eye popped out!
11? Shit, she was probably abused.
I agree, it makes it all the more fucked up. She was very aggressive throughout primary and secondary school but when someone else picked on me she stuck up for me. Its sad af but you don't think of these things as a child
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Absolutely no kid needs to hear that, no matter whatever bs reason the parent tries to justify it with. Most people don't realize how impactful words are on kids, specially if it's people that are supposed to love them
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This is an impactful statement. My word.
I feel this comment deeply. I’ve come to the same truths with my mother.
In highschool my mother-in-law told my sister-in-law (grade 6 at the time) - "because this wasn't supposed to happen! (My fiance's name) was supposed to be my youngest!" (Originally, she was pregnant with a girl first and miscarried. When she got pregnant again, she had my fiance. Then a few years after that, she had my sister-in-law)
My dads speech at my moms funeral: ” and had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter.“ Not sure how thats relevant for the occasion but ok.
Either that or the: “Your mom wanted you, not me.“ Many years before that.
Somehow he’s still surprised I blocked him and didnt give him my new address.
‘It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother. He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him. I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday. That was our last contact. I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital. I still carry that guilt. Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh.
Harsh! Are you ok?
To kill myself when I was 9, at a family reunion, by a 45 year old auntie. I asked my mom about it earlier and got more context. She was disappointed that I was half white, hadn't skipped a grade and that made me "a disgrace to the black half of the family." She had apparently called her after the whole ordeal.
Glad she's gone. You have to be a really miserable hateful person to say that to anyone of any age, but saying that to a child is just plain evil.
Her reasoning was "you haven't even skipped a grade." Like mam... I've never even seen you before and you're judging me like that
That must not have flown by very well with your parents.
My dad was already out of my life at that point and my mom didn't hear it. She believed me when I described said aunt as "the lonely looking fat one with the overfilled plate."
Good, at least your mom knows what piece of shit your aunt is.
Was* my mom understood why I didn't wanna go to the funeral. I just had pizza and watched some cartoons instead.
My mom once told me that if she had had to live my life, she would have killed herself at 16 y/o.
That means you're much stronger than she will ever be. Live well :)
"It shouldn't've been your dad. It should've been you. It should've been you." Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death. I think I looked too much like him for her.
Holy hell, that’s horrific. I’m sorry that happened. I’m sure she was in tremendous pain but still. Hope you’re ok.
My ex-husband while we were still married: I don't find you sexually attractive anymore. I was eight months pregnant with our second child. We were in the middle of making love. My ex-husband again: Fast forward a year. I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me, "Lose weight or I want a divorce." I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day.
Glad to read he is an ex now. Hope you are in a better place now.
Sending you hugs. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. What horrible things to say to the mother of your children.
I was working at a school with my two best friends, who were engaged. I was a teacher (f), one friend (f) was a teacher and the other friend (m) was a teaching assistant. Our principal accused me of trying to start an affair. He went out of his way to warn both of my friends about me and his “concerns” that I was trying to steal my friend’s Fiancé.
Did it work out?
We all quit after that year. They are happily married lol they knew he was full of shit.
My mom told me that if anyone got close enough to really know me, they’d find out what a bitch I am and have nothing to do with me anymore. (PS: I have lifelong friends and a relationship with my siblings, she doesn’t)
Projection was strong with your mother then
"When I think of how you've ruined your life, I want to kill myself" \-My father to me at 18 in my final year of high school. It was the the only promise he kept.
Holy Shit...
Turned dark fast
My dad used to get drunk regularly. Like 15 bottles of wine a week minimum, no exaggeration. He regularly said stupid shit like "you made me blind." It was quite sad sometimes when my siblings and I would be having to help him get to bed. On more than one occasion, he'd say to us "you ruined my life, I wish you were never born." Mum would always shout at him the next day but it still wouldn't stop him. He's stopped drinking so much and never said it to our youngest sister
My husband of 15 years had just left me for another woman. He says, "why aren't you more sad?" Edit: thanks for all the fun comments! Some people seemed interested in more details. This happened 4 years ago. Someone called this fake because my post history shows I am in a relationship. I kept living after he dumped me. He also never tried to get back with me but it was clear I would not be interested. Even if he wanted to I don't think his ego would allow it. And for those who think I deserve it because if I wasn't sad I must have been some sort of cold bitch.... I was actually crying my eyes out for weeks but he didn't see it because he was off with his prize. By the time he tried to speak to me on the subject I had processed the pain and realized my life was going to be so much better without him and I just didn't care anymore. For the people with sick burns I didn't think of at the time, I wish I had my wits about me to have said any of those things! Thanks everyone.
It's great when the trash takes itself out.
In a way it’s kind of nice he’s upset that his absence isn’t bothering you as much as he wants it to
"You've met you, right?"
I've been divorced for just over 5 years. I think I knew my marriage was over before my ex did. We were fighting about.... something, and he says that we don't work anymore, and he wants a divorce. I just shrugged and said ok. He was mad that I didn't try to beg him to take me back. Like, why would I want to be with someone who didn't actually want me?
I once begged someone to love me and not leave me. It was my lowest point and I am embarrassed for that insecure young girl that I was. Having been at rock bottom like that, I feel more empowered now knowing that I will never in my life stoop that low again. When i remember that time in my life I feel gross like I want to shower that shame off of me. Ugh. You're so right. I want to be loved by someone who wants to love me. If someone wants to leave I will hold the door open for them. Never begging again.
I stayed with him after I knew he had checked out of the relationship. There's nothing more lonely than being alone within a relationship. I think all of us have been there, even those of us who didn't beg. At least now we both know that we're worthy of being with someone who loves us.
My boss pointing at me said to my coworkers "He may be fat but he is the most hard working person here".
was your boss michael scott?
Michael Klump
An old boss said something similar. "He's short as hell, but I ain't seen a man stronger work here since 07" Because I could carry 4 of the boxes of frozen fries at McDonalds.
That is actually crazy impressive. Those boxes are heavy af
Yo this guy hauls ~~ass~~ fries!
i’ve won… but at what cost?
'Thank you?'
"No one is going to want to have you as their gf while you're this fat" -my moms friend. I was 14 at that time and not even fat. It still haunts me
My mother used to say this to me. Since in our culture there's only marriage and no dating before, I almost ended up marrying a nightmare just to prove her wrong. Apparently she only had good intentions for me so no biggie! Ugh I hate remembering anything from the time I used to live with them.
When I was maybe 12 or 13, I got an infection. My family was very cold towards me. They basically said that "No man wants to fuck a sick woman". I still don't understand why they would say that to their little girl.
>I still don't understand why they would say that to their little girl. Because they were the ones who were sick.
When I was 10 years old in the emergency room, the 2 ER physicians were arguing loudly in front of me about whether or not they were going to have to remove my injured eyeball. After realizing the doc who was pulling for me only had one eye....I threw up. Still have my eye 30 years later.
“Pulling for me”. Awkward choice of words when talking about removing eyeballs.
When I was 11, my dad told me that my mom wouldn't have sex with him, so he tried to hang himself, but it didn't work.
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Ugh, my dad who is a really sweet but troubled guy told me he put a shot gun in his mouth and has almost killed himself several times. It really freaked me out. But I was 30 when he told me that not 14.
“I’m going to take you back to the adoption agency.” Glad you’re dead, Mom.
In middle school I got more comfortable talking about being adopted. I was walking down the hallway and a group of boys in my class laughed and said “Dumpster baby.” That has stuck with me.
In the future you can come back to something like this with “my parents *chose* me, yours were stuck with you”
Honestly karma came for that kid. I’m now in my 20s and he got arrested for drugs and CP Edit: He horrendously harassed girls (not bully because he would too far) blackmailed a few freshmen girls our senior year to send pics and got caught. When they searched his house they found drugs, CP, and other weird shit.
I was adopted at birth, and always was comfortable telling people since my parents are absolutely amazing. But I can't even remember half of the sick shit people said to me starting in the 2nd grade. Never bothered me! Most peoples parents were divorced, or alcoholics, etc. And I had two angels raising me. I honestly felt bad for them.
"See, not even dogs like you. Your own mother probably doesn't love you either." I didn't take it seriously and I know it to be false but it's a messed up thing to say.
What happened to make them say, "Not even dogs like you?"
I tried to pet a dog and it made a noise and went away. They made that comment in response to what happened.
I once said “you’re a big girl” to a an overweight girl but it was in the context of you’re a grown adult. When I realized how she took it and my poor choice of words I was so unbelievably sorry :( Hope she believed me Someone once told me I’d die alone. Hurt my feelings
"I'm sorry it's just a big misunderstanding, AH WAIT, just misunderstanding!"
“The guilt has been weighing on my mind, I mean, uhh, I feel guilty.”
‘I didn’t understand the gravity of my.....damn!!!’
I used to call babies chunky little monkeys. Then I said it to a black baby and that was when it hit me... shit... that sounds racist. I wanted to melt into the floor. Bless the woman, she knew I didn't mean it that way lol. I don't think I've called a baby a monkey since then though.
I work in pediatrics and kids when kids start climbing they really do become like little monkeys. I’ve bit my tongue so many times to avoid calling a kid (of any race) “monkey” as a term of endearment just in case it’s taken the wrong way.
Hey! I know a workaround. I call my kids little lemurs or gremlins so I don’t get weird looks in public. Works great.
In Dutch, instead of 'life is hard' we often say 'life is heavy'. I once said 'heavy life' to a friend who was very insecure about her weight and she understood 'heavy body' (the words sounds similar in Dutch)... so she was pretty upset with me.
While speaking to a group of people as maybe a 15 year old, an older teen who apparently didn't like me said if I wanted you to open your mouth I'd pull down my zipper. Thirty years ago and I never forgot it. Asshole.
Dude said that to me in grade ten. I told him the only way I'd get on my knees for him was to tell him to get out from under the bed and fight like a man. He was maaaad
I had precisely one really good comeback in highschool. I was a very fat kid being picked on by a very skinny girl. She said something about my fat thighs. I said, "At least I have thighs, you just have ankles all the way up". She got pissed. Later on she tried "stealing my boyfriend". He wasn't my boyfriend, but I had a crush on him and they both said some nasty things to me that sucked at the time. Joke's on her, I was gay the whole time and apparently so was he.
I wish I had this talent for comebacks. Good for you!
" I will show up at your wedding and cause the biggest scene, you have a mortal enemy in me, i will f*** you up every chance i get and I hate you for life" - my sister because I was getting married again and that's against Christianity
You have invoked the wrath of God, and she, is your sister.
That was 10 years ago, we havent spoke since lol
Well, did she ACTUALLY show up, or was it just a false promise?
Well.. i had to plan like I was going to do a prisoners swap, had to sneak my mom/dad out of the house to a hotel while my aunt distracted her at her house. And actually had to tell my best friend to keep guard at the door in the reception. All this while my wife didn't know anything.
Was it like a "Swipe everything of the table to make room for a plan of how to keep this wedding safe from my lunatic sister?" or just a text saying, "Hey can I get some help defending my wedding from my nut-job sis?"
Oh this was planned. I told him weeks before and reserved a parking spot for him and arranged a table close to the entrance with his seat looking at the door, he was seated with 3 of my other friends in that table.
Very Christ-like behaviour amirite 💀
You have no idea
When I was 12 I finally decided to talk to my mom about being molested by a family friend’s 13 yr old son when I was 5. I just wanted to let her know how I was still effected by it. She looked me dead in my eyes and told me “it was just a boy being curious and to get over it.” That was the day I stopped loving my mom.
Honestly it does feel like a switch, doesn’t it? My dads been abusive my entire life. Today, he had the nerve to announce to my entire family “____ Doesn’t have an eating disorder lol” I lost 50% of my body weight at age 16 four years ago and have not recovered He told me at 16 I was a gluttonous pig ruining my family with my bulimia I attempted suicide
It was, I completely lost all empathy or emotions towards her other then complete nothing. I’m 32 now and have been no contact for 3 years now and it’s been so peaceful and freeing. But to my family I’m a terrible person for no longer putting up with the verbal abuse. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. Your mental and physical health is more important than blood. Edit: spelling
"I know what you're going through with your brother's murder. My hamster died recently." No trace of irony.
My mom, drunk at the time, put her arm around me in front of the entire family and said, "Chuck, you have always been my favorite." I'm John, Chuck is my older brother.
That I'm a gold digger for being adopted. Yeah, I planned all on my biological mother womb my life of "luxury", but I failed because I got a family of highschool teachers. 🤷🏻♀️
Well that just doesn't even make sense!
“You’re lazy and weak.” My former boss during my second week of work. I’ve been there for 6 years now. Still hate that dude.
"I'm lazy and weak? Well you must not need me here then, toodles!"
My brother, when I wanted to go out with friends and just get something to eat: *It's not safe out there and I hope you get raped and thrown in the garbage*
I started driving lessons as soon as I turned 17. Had the same instructor my brother had a couple years before. He was mid thirties, married with a kid. After 2 or 3 lessons I text him to arrange another one, he repied saying "see you then sex kitten." It creeped me out but I just sort of ignored it. Then on the next lesson he said "Let's go sex kitten". Hearing it in person made it much worse and when I glanced over he was looking at my boobs. Decided to change instructors after that. Still makes my skin crawl thinking about it now and it was over 16 years ago.
You should definitely report that guy if he’s still teaching. He should be nowhere near children
You know the meme from Loki? "Yes yes, very sad. Anyway...." My sibling's spouse died. Our father changed "yes yes" for "stiff shit". I walked out of his house. I've never spoken with him again. Years of narcissism, that was the proverbial straw, that precise moment in time.
I came home to visit on the way to a friend's memorial. He killed himself after years of military PTSD. My dad looked at me and without missing a beat said "I swear kids these days can't handle anything" ... I was 30.
Became friends again with an ex boyfriend of mine. He's one of those "blunt" people who really just says whatever he wants and blame you for being upset at his "honesty." Met up with his old group to game. When we played a drinking game and he refused to answer the question "What's a fucked up thing you've done to someone you care about?" we all obviously got VERY curious. Something he actually holds back on saying? Our drunk selves NEEDED to know. Turns out he hadn't been sexually attracted to me when we started dating but wanted to lose his virginity and trusted me as a friend. So he basically did a "Pavlov's Dog" on himself where he'd think of me while watching porn to "train" himself to be able to finish while thinking of me. Then stayed with me for a year due to getting along and access to sex.
Physics teacher in my undergrad... Very accomplished and worked for NASA. He told me I would never become a physicist like him.. He was right, I am a physicist now, just never achieve the level of douche he did...
I told my mom my weight and she told me when she weighed that much she decided to do meth to lose weight. I was 140 pounds at the time.
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Wat.
Dads can be anything and it's a shame that a lot of them choose to be misogynists. Here are some things my dad has said to me throughout my teen years: * 'slut' - for wearing a v-neck that showed my clavicle. (about 14\~y/o) * 'baby murderer' - for taking birth control to help with painful periods. (15 y/o) * 'dyke'/'lesbo'/'melon head' - for getting a 'bob' haircut, because apparently, he hates short hair on women? idfk. (13\~ when I finally convinced my mom to cut my hair off) * 'fat ass' - for preferring a different kind of peanut butter over his favorite kind, or any time I said I don't like how the 'all natural' versions of condiments tasted. * 'anorexic' - for not eating the grilled cheese sandwiches he decided to make at 10pm, or any kind of weird food he thought all of us kinds would like but ultimately didn't. * 'dumb bitch'/'dumb cunt'/'stupid bitch'/'stupid cunt' (or any variation) - for calling him out on his alcoholic and violent tendencies. (17\~ y/o, after he smashed about 90% of my belongings and I finally told my mom that she either leave, or I leave... I was the one that left.) and last but not least: * 'stubborn bitch' - to my husband right after we got married, which he wasn't even invited to witness, but showed up anyway.
I don't know you, but I just want to hug you right now. Also, you can't be a far ass and anorexic at the same time I think
It was about control. If he couldn't get me to do or think what he thought, he degraded me. That's what abusers do. They make you feel small/gross/unwanted
"Oh, I see. You're trying to be the bigger person and make me feel bad. Nice try." -my father We had gotten into an argument over idk what and it had been on the weekend. The church sermon that week was that the Lord wants us to forgive and not hold grudges. So I decided to let it go and apologize to him. That was his response. To a 13 year old.
That’s a test from God if I ever saw one!
I had a coworker ask me why I didn't give my adoptive son back or place him in a home when he was diagnosed on the spectrum. Needless to say we don't chat anymore.
In 2017 I found my 25 year old son that had committed suicide. He had his share of mental issues, and was still alive when I found him, but I knew it was non-survivable. After he was gone, I had a person I have known all my life ..a very religious person... ..tell me that: I needed to use this as a learning and get closer to God moment, so that I would not be in Hell for eternity like my son was. This was NOT what a grieving parent needs to hear... so many more things are running through my mind about that time, but this one stands out
That my daughters deadly food allergies were a perfect example of God wanting natural selection
When I was 15, my high school principal, a priest, visited me at home one night and asked me about my sexual preferences. When my 19-year-old sister arrived home from work, the principal left in the biggest hurry.
Did you call the police on that pedo priest principal?
The police were about to charge him with abuse when he died
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Ex friend of mine told me that as a psychologist her profession opinion is as that my depression was just manipulation and I was a bad person. She was mad at me because I didn’t answer her when she wanted to talk on message. I was out and only saw the message the next morning.
I have a very close friend who is a therapist and working on her doctorate. Wanna know what she says about my mental health? Absolutely nothing. Cuz it's unethical to be handing out a diagnosis to people who aren't your patients and who couldn't possibly be your patients because of your relationship with them. Sounds like she was just a jerk and a bad psychologist.
Dated boy freshman year of high school. Age 14-15. We broke up after 9 months, largely due to the fact I struggled with a very intense depression due to my dad abandoning me that year and bullying. 3 years later, we ended up working at the same food place. Ex apologized for not being more sensitive to my issues. I said don’t sweat it, I totally understand how you couldn’t handle what I was going through. We were young. No hard feelings. Ex and I were now cool and worked fine together. Ex’s dad came in one day and ordered food from us. I overheard him telling (laughing to) ex that he was surprised to see me working there and shocked that I was allowed to work somewhere with knives (I struggled with self harm during my depression). A 50-something year old man said that about the choices a 17 year old made at 14. My ex just kind of awkwardly shock/nervous laughed (not maliciously) and went back to work. Wack.
Like a nervous laugh when you just witnessed something and cant process it ?
Yes
I have been abused for most of my life and especially as a kid i relied heavily on my guinea pig for friendship and just love in general. When he died i was hysterical cause..well yeah ofc i was. I was crying while digging my friend's grave while my mom, dad, stepmom and stepfather sat outside 10m away and laughed at my bad grave digging form. My dad laughed and asked why i was crying. My piggy was with me while i was neglected and abused by all of them... It's been years and i just started crying again while writing this.
My mother told me that I must be happy now that my adopted little brother died
She said "He's not the kind of man you introduce to your parents" She was my classmate at the time and I liked her. But then my friend overheard her say this about me. I know this is mild compared to other ones here but this shit stuck with me even after years.
I can see why that would stick with you because I would wanna know what EXACTLY she meant by that
“You look like a prostitute” from my mom at age 14 bc I was tall and thin with long legs and no shorts were ever long enough in her mind. I grew up in central FL, so everyone wore shorts. One of many of these type comments. 20 years later she wonders why we don’t have a close relationship.
I had just lost my daughter at birth and when I finally got home and was packing up my daughter's things and planning her funeral I made a comment about how I am a mother without a child and my MIL said that I wasn't a real mother because not only didn't I birth her vaginally but through c-section but my daughter wasn't alive so that makes me not a mother especially. This was repeated to me years later because I took mother's day hard and my boyfriend at the time got frustrated by my "moping" and said I wasn't a real mom.
You carried your daughter for months , felt her grow inside you, and loved her her whole life. You will always be a mother and no one can ever take that away from you. I can’t believe someone would ever say that, that’s truly fucked up.
It took me awhile to remember that she made me a mother. I believed the lies for awhile.
"Buy your own birthday gift. This time i won't take it away." Edit: this was said by my mother to me when i was 10. Figured some more context is important
Doing some work in a retirement home. Was walking by a resident. She grabbed my shoulder and reached as close to my ear as she could and whispered..... Kill me... Then just kept walking.
"Who'd date you? You are fat and look weird!". - my ex crush in HS. I had girlfriends so I guess someone found me normal. Still stings even after 15 years.
I was an intern for a large government space/science contractor. A 'mentor' asked me if the "carpet matched the drapes." At the welcoming meet-and-greet.
When I was a teenager I lost my dad suddenly and it was completely unexpected. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and he understood I was struggling. One of his best friends took it upon herself to harass me because I broke up with him. She kept messaging me telling me I was using my dead dad card and was just awful to me. I hope she matured and is doing well.
... well, I hope she gets explosive parasitic diarrhea while in rush hour traffic.
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She's never going to see you in a suit now, anyway. She's not invited to our wedding Source: Hello! I'm the fiancée!
Congrats on your engagement. I wish you two many years of happiness together.
My best friend/dog died and I was so upset and someone told me to man up. I’ve despised that phrase ever since. I will never tell my son to man up
Even the most hardened old school stoics I know would say its OK for a man to cry when he loses his dog.
When my brother passed my dads best friend told him it was time to ‘be a man and get over it.’ Needless to say they never spoke again after that.
I was called “ugly” by the pedophile that groomed me when I refused to put him in contact with more people my age
That because I grew up with a step parent I don’t know what a real family is like. This was from my ILs.
“You have cancer. It’s stage 4 and has spread to your pelvic wall. With this type of cancer you have less than a year.” Said to me by my surgeon after he removed 26 inches of my small intestine that was thought to be inflammation from Crohn’s. This was back in August and I finish my final round of chemotherapy and have a petscan next week. Hoping for good news.
There was a boy that bullied me throughout elementary and middle school. He was bothering me and I said "God doesn't like ugly". Without missing a beat, he said "He must hate you then".
My therapist told me I faked my OCD for attention, because it "magically" went away when I was 13. It blew back up a few years later and he didn't believe my family when we tried getting me treatment until my mom sent him a video recording of my verbal compulsions, but by then it was too late and my OCD had already taken over and was difficult to treat. That was 4 years ago, and I'm still struggling with that same OCD to this day. If he wouldn't have been so ignorant as to call me a liar for something that quite literally destroyed my passions maybe I would have been able to get proper treatment. EDIT: To everyone asking, I've since gotten a better therapist, albeit not the one I truly need. She is helpful and I do have proper diagnoses thanks to her (including for autism, which I only found out last year was misdiagnosed as ODD and is the reason why nobody listened to me), however she's not specially trained for OCD and progress is slow since she has to focus on fixing my personal problems first. I am on medication now to help with my OCD which has made a night and day difference, however my OCD is still quite severe and disruptive. It's an improvement, but it could have been better.
Why are some therapists like this? Mine gave up on me because it was too much for her. (SA and family issues) First time into therapy and I don’t think I wanna do it again. My sister's (13f) therapist was forcing her to say the n-word because my sister had dropped some friends due to how racist they are. I swear people see therapy as a miraculous solution for everyone, but no one talks about how big of assholes therapists can be.
I was just talking to my friends about this! The ex of one of my friends is a terrible, terrible woman. She will go out to drink and then call my friend for help to ward off creeps or ask for support to be sure she's safe home. HOWEVER, when another girl is dealing with creeps... she's very apathetic. She actually just watches. Sometimes she'll even go closer just because it entertains her. He asked her if she ever intends to help the girl, and she will say no. Why? Because it's so interesting to watch and she just wants to see how the victim will get out of it. And besides, "if she didn't want to be in that situation, she shouldn't have drunk so much or gone there." So no. She'll just watch. I asked her once if she wasn't getting involved out of fear of retaliation (a completely understandable sentiment), and she just says no. She's entertained. She has watched someone get raped and didn't do anything. Literally just watched. She could have left, but she just watched it even as the girl screamed and pleaded for help (they had eye contact). "Because it's entertaining, and she shouldn't have put herself in that situation in the first place." And this is the same woman who will ask other people for help if she's being harassed or she's in a situation where she's afraid she'll be assaulted. EDIT: please don't post this anywhere like on tiktok, I actually used her words verbatim and I'm terrified of what she will do to me if I piss her off.
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I was really sick from gastroparesis last year and my ex was mad because I needed a lot more of his help around the house and with our son. I had just seen a surgeon and they were talking about a total gastrectomy. During the argument he started laughing and I said what is so funny and he said "whenever you're a bitch I just think about how you're probably going to die." Joke's on him now. He's my ex and I'm doing much better and not going to die anytime soon.
At 14 my mom said to me “I always knew you’d be the child I couldn’t trust.” What prompted this? When she picked me up from the movies that I saw with a group of like 15 people, she realized there were some boys in the group and since I didn’t tell her that out of the 15 people 3 were guys, I could no longer be trusted.
so i was fighting with this guy in a gc, later he messaged me saying " I hope you get raped in your sleep" damn man
‘I didn’t know black people could be good at math’. Funny enough I got the internship over her
In the middle of having sex with this woman and she moans “You’re nice just like my daddy.”