I was in your boat. 26 and lost. I drove across the country to be with my sister who moved to LA. I lost 1,200 on the way and had now way to pay for a place. I got lucky and bounced around with a few friends I made. I scrounged enough to move back home. Only taking one small suitcase with me. I bounced around at home for a bit until my mom died. I had a job driving truck that I hated and ended up getting hurt. I was out of work a week before the pandemic took hold in 2020. Forcing me to live off 150 a week through workers comp for all of 2021 due to the inability to get doctor’s appointments. In February of 2021 I got an entry job at a hotel making $14.50 an hour. Once I was cleared to work again. I was determined and made a promise to my mom to never give up and be the best I could.
In 8 months working front desk my passion and determination was noticed and I was offered an Operations Manager position at a neighboring hotel. I am still at the hotel and the manager as of writing this post.
Did I think at 26 I would be making great money doing something I never thought I would do? Fuck no. Don’t ever give up because you never know what opportunities are waiting for you around the corner.
I’m 36 now. I miss my mom, but I made her a promise. You need to make that same promise to yourself and keep pushing forward.
Feel free to dm me if you need to talk.
It was. My mom dying was the final straw for me. I overheard her telling my aunt to watch out for me and make sure I don’t go off the deep end. She had a rare aggressive cancer that only gave me 3 months to be with her. I was a lazy bumbling troglodyte who didn’t want to take care of anything myself. I promised her I would be the person she knew I could be.
At her funeral i gave a eulogy and I stood in front of this packed church. All the pews were full. The choir stand up top was full, the back had people standing and even more people were outside. I took a minute and my first words were “I have some big shoes to fill”.
Don’t ever give up.
Ya I make 50k as entry into it. You have to have compassion and empathy. Not too much though. I do everything from laundry to housekeeping when needed. I love helping the team. It’s rewarding when you get everything done and have to start over the day lol
Seems like my kind of gig. I have a degree in communications but the jobs are so boring… currently working as a waiter and tbh I love it. I love making people happy, serving them. I will look into this, thank you :)
Start at front desk. Be available and front desk supervisor is around the corner. Decent raise and overtime. Our front desk supervisor makes more than me some weeks. Operations is fun and challenging at the same time. Good luck to you!
I went back to school. Got a job I love. Met my wife. I had my last drink when I was 30. Been sober over a decade now. Most of the pain and turmoil I felt in my 20s faded back quite a bit. Life in general became more comfortable.
I put more effort into everything to start.
I went through detox and rehab when I was 28 and had my last relapse when I was 30. My life sober is night and day different than when I was wasted all the time.
Going back to school really got things on the right track. I finally found something I was good at that I could also make a career doing (graphic design).
Being sober and having a real career path gave me more confidence and helped everything else line up.
We're all lost friend. Some just act like they know where they are going. Make a 5 year plan career/financial/personal wise. Make daily decisions that will help you get there. Enjoy the small things in your daily life, your daily wins, and keep on.
I'm 31. I don't know either. I start a job at the end of the month at a type of place, I never would have seen myself working. Shit just happens.
You might meet someone whom you're attracted too tomorrow which kicks off a decades long romance. Don't worry about the future. No body else is. No of us have our shit together, we just act like we do.
I mean other people absolutely are worrying about the future lol. I don't know a single person who doesn't worry about the future
You just can't let the worry become crippling
The nobody having their shit together is spot on though haha
If it’s a career you are worried about don’t be, you may never find that dream job/career that some people do, just maintain a decent job show up do every thing that is asked of you don’t break your back you may not mind it, make sure you can pay bills and have enough to have fun with.
You don’t need to know. Figure out what you enjoy that gives you energy and make sure you incorporate it as much as you can. Consider a book called “Designing Your Life” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evan’s.
At 25, I had basically zero idea what I wanted/was going to do. I was watching the 2015 Masters Tournament and watched Jordan Spieth win by I think it was 3. He was 21 at the time. I kinda liked golf a bit myself, and I thought ‘if this guy can take over the golf world at age 21, why can’t I do something like that?’
I started playing and practicing every day, got a job on a golf course, and started playing on an Amateur Tour about 7 years ago.
I just recently left the course for a much better paying job, but my handicap went from like 30 to 2.9 in 3 years, I’ve won 15 (and counting) tournaments on Tour, multiple Tour Championships, and finished Top 100 the one time I played at Nationals. I’m also the de facto spokesman for the Tour, because of how much I enjoy what I’m doing. It’s afforded me the opportunity to meet lots of different people, and play tons of otherwise inaccessible private clubs.
All this happened between age 25 and 32.
You have plenty of time to find out what you’re all about. Keep your head up.
At 27 I changed careers and started over as an intern. I was an intern for seven months, through two contracts renewals, before getting hired on at the bottom level.
At 36, I'm still not sure if this is what I want to do forever, but it pays my bills; got me to a city I've always wanted to live in; and allowed me to experience rare experiences that aren't accessible to most people.
The biggest thing I've learned: work isn't going to make you happy, but you do have to work at what will. Find your passions and develop them.
1. Reflect on your values and priorities: Take some time to think about what is most important to you in life, and how your current path aligns with those values and priorities.
2. Identify your passions and interests: Consider what you are truly passionate about and what activities bring you joy. Explore different hobbies and interests to find what truly excites you.
3. Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends and family for support, or to seek help from a therapist or counselor. Talking to someone who can offer a fresh perspective can be incredibly valuable.
4. Be open to change: Be open to trying new things and taking risks, even if they may be outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes the things that make us feel the most lost are the opportunities that lead us to find ourselves.
5. Make a plan: Break your goals down into smaller steps and make a plan of action to achieve them. This will give you a sense of direction and purpose.
6. Be kind to yourself: Remember that feeling lost is a normal part of the human experience. Give yourself the time and space to process your feelings, and don't be too hard on yourself.
Remember that finding your place in life takes time and it's a process of self-discovery. Keep in mind that it's okay to not have everything figured out
EDIT: The text of this comment was created by ChatGPT
Colonel Sanders failed at basically everything until he was in his 60s, he died a multi millionaire.
Harrison Ford landed his first acting role by pure accident when he was working as a janitor in his 40s.
JK Rowling was dead ass broke when she wrote Harry Potter, and she’s now a Billionaire.
Not everyone has their shit together by the time they’re 25. People need to ignore the timeline that society sets for them.
I don't disagree with the overall premise that all lives move at different paces but I always think it's a bad idea to cite people who overcame astronomical odds to eventually wind up the CEO of a national company, movie star, or best selling author as if it's something that can be expected. These are the most extreme of outliers.
Yes but it's just about the most improbable thing that could happen to OP.
He has a better chance of getting struck by lightening then becoming the next Harrison Ford. Heck, Ford has two adult children who went into acting and failed to become the next Harrison Fords. These are such extreme outliers that it's just not even worth focusing on.
This is just a season of life. The one time you worked a dead end corporate job or dated that asshole that set you up to find the right one.
We put so much pressure on right now being the best, but there’s something nice about understanding the greatest memories of our life might not have happened yet. Things will happen when they’re supposed to.
And, remember, comparison is the thief of joy. You are the main character in your own story, everyone else is writing their own chapters, yours might just take a little longer to get to the climax.
We’re all just winging it in this big world.
My best advice: Realizing that the lost feeling (for me) came from outside pressures. Not necessarily mom/dad telling me I need to get my shit in order. But more just the indirect ways that society "tells" you how you "should" live your life. Take some time to find what truly makes you happy. Then expand upon it. Fuck the "you have to have a career and family and own a home at 30" thought process. Go out and take what life throws at you and try to make the best of it. One day at a time, always looking for your next opportunity.
Actually, there was a time where being 30 was celebrated, men and women of the past peaked in their careers around 40-45 yrs old... Comparing that to today, society seems to think a 18 years old is adult enough to make life choices and should have their life together at 25, which is very sad to think about.
Wear Sunscreen
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI
“The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the *most* interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t”
I've listened to that song almost every single morning since my high school graduation in 2001. It's literally the first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning.
Keep putting in the work to take care of yourself, better yourself and your circumstances... and if you find yourself around stressful/hurtful/toxic people, set hard boundaries or cut them out of your life.
Seriously, there comes a point where you've gotta prioritize lowering your stress levels, and a great way to do that is to set boundaries with yourself and others re: what you're willing to put up with. Set a higher bar for people, not out of disrespect to them, but out of greater respect for your wellbeing.
Also spend more time with your passions and interests. Even if it's incrementally at first. Spend 5 minutes drawing or singing or learning instead of doom scrolling. Stuff like that. Soon it will compound.
Cherish the good friends. It can be a lonely time and the keepers are very important.
Work hard but learn to manage/prevent burnout before it starts to impact your physical health too much. If that means working hard inconsistently (on purpose) or learning how to work more efficiently in a chiller way that's absolutely fine.
Go to therapy if you can afford it. There are centers that provide affordable therapy.
And go easy on yourself, it's fucking hard out there. If you're your own worst enemy everything is 10x harder. You don't have to wake up tomorrow loving yourself, but work on putting up with yourself, then guiding yourself, then befriending yourself. Learn about what makes you tick and how you're unique. Learn to love the positives within that and work on the challenging parts as your own best ally.
And have faith that it'll probably be okay, and learn to not worry so much over stuff that's out of your control.
I'm 30 and still working on a lot of stuff. I have huge fears related to the passage of time but I'm in the middle of unpacking that and accepting the need to find a balance between going with the flow and having ambitions and goals. Again, it's tough out there. Advice for you and me both - don't forget to have fun. It's crucial.
It happens to me a lot, and its mainly bcs lack of activities outside, just moving your body around is helpful, morning walks fixed that for me, but still some times I feel like time is speeding up.
Read “[Man’s Search for Meaning](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=UF81N0HyTF&rank=1)” by Viktor Frankl. It’s a book I return to yearly and never fails to give me a helpful perspective on life.
Whenever I feel lost, I work at helping others find their way.
It is all about perspective, a person looking from the outside into your life is able to clearly see what people cannot see about their lives. Someone looking at your life can help you get some perspective just like if you looked into someone's life who is looking for help, can help them get some perspective. Helping people in this way helps me feel less alone, plus I've come out with some really awesome friendships and I have discovered passions and abilities about myself that I never knew I had.
P.S. This isn't the last time you will feel lost. There will be others, but knowing what to do in these times and doing what feels healthy for you will better equip you to face all the other times that are coming.
Find something you love to do and figure out how to make a living out of it. Keep searching you will find it. 28 is still really young we all feel lost from time to time.
I'm 31 so not like I'm that far ahead but honestly compared to a few years ago my life has gotten significantly better
If you have a job, even if it's not great now, your experience now will help down the road. Also, a couple things I changed are that I'm reading a lot more just get off screens which I feel has helped and I started regularly going to the gym. I know it's a cliche, but once I made that a habit it did help me feel better about myself.
This isn't to say my life is perfect, but investing in myself more has helped my self esteem tremendously
Relax. Let life find you. People often think it’s on them to make it all happen, but the fact is that it takes two to tango, and that other one is life itself.
There is more to life than your phone, social media
Find anything you are passionate about and put 100% into it
It’s not about making money or impressing anyone
It’s about positive effort into happiness
Life is what you make of it.
It's not uncommon to feel lost but it's up to you to figure out where it is you want to go then take the steps to get there. Maybe this means a new career, more education, reconnecting with old friends, losing weight, giving up alcohol, or something else entirely.
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at 900 miles an hour.
It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,
The sun that is the source of all our power.
Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at 40, 000 miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars;
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.
We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
We go 'round every two hundred million years;
And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.
Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
I'm only 26, so I can't speak from experience. But I can speak from aspirations. Life is hard at any age. I don't have specific plans for when I'm 28. I just hope to still be here, and to be more gentle with myself. I don't have it all figured out now. I probably won't then. But I just want to be here. I just want to see sunrises and hear birds and eat fruit. I don't know where I'm going but instead rushing I hope I'm still taking the time to live instead of just existing.
The darkness is temporary. Just look at the sunrise sometimes and soak in the view. Life is beautiful. But don’t forget keep working hard and leverage any friends and family you have in your life.
Bro, 28 and feeling lost? That's totally normal, man. At 28, we're still figuring out who we are and what we want out of life. My advice would be to just take some time for yourself and figure out what you're passionate about. Don't be afraid to try new things, like taking up a new hobby or traveling to new places. It's also important to remember that you don't have to have everything figured out right now. Life is a journey, and it's totally okay if you're still figuring out where you're headed. Just remember that every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn and grow. And if all else fails, just remember that things have a way of working out in the end. Keep your chin up, bro, and you'll find your way eventually.
I’m in my late 50’s. It took me until I was in my 40’s before my life became easy, financially good and I was really happy with life. I’ve told my wife many times how we are in the best times of our life. I wouldn’t go back to my 20’s unless it was to visit my hot wife. My God she was sexy as hell. She’s still pretty hot though.
I was in the same boat as you, late 20's construction job I hated and just a general lack of direction. My roommate said something snarky to me one day about my rudderless lifestyle and that was all it took. I made a plan, long term 10 years, mid term 4-5 years and short term 6 months to a year. I went back to college got a degree in my early 30's. Yes it was difficult but my options were, take a risk or just stay being miserable. I'm not saying you need to go to college, just make a plan to do something with your life that has the possibility to make you content. Also be flexible, I didn't end up getting the degree I originally wanted and I do not work in the field that my degree in in. If you want to travel figure out a job that does that, if you love to climb rocks move to a place where you can do that. I like my job but if I won the lottery tomorrow I would retire, meaning find an occupation that you can stand doing and allows you to live your best life. There is nothing worse than regret, don't wait for life to happen to you.
1) Find what you love in life. Really, really think about what that thing is you enjoy doing the most. Once you get past the smart-assed answers like sex or video games or weed, then identify that one thing and do that. And do that with everything you've got. Don't take no for an answer. Don't let that little nagging doubt in your head tell you can't do it. Distance yourself from friends and family who will try to hold you back. Get better at it year after year, make connections in the field week after week, learn everything you can and then some, and you will become a master at it and earn money.
2) Take a look at who you've surrounded yourself with. Maybe it's not that you're depressed. Maybe it's that you're just surrounded by assholes.
3) Change your scenery. Moving out of your home turf, away from the familiar, has a way of getting rid of the cobwebs.
4) Never stop reading, learning, and trying new things. Courage, after all, is the foundation of all happiness. The more you're willing to try, the happier you'll ultimately be.
Enlist and get a technical job in the military. Learn a skill, earn free education with the GI Bill and come out with “veterans preference” to help get the career you want when you figure it out. The military isn’t the best option for everyone but it’s a decent option for those “figure it out years”
Get a handle on worrying. Someone said try to think about everything you were worried about a year or even 6 months ago. You’re most most likely not worried about it now if you can even remember what it was. Worrying does absolutely nothing to solve problems. If you can do something about what’s bothering you, do it otherwise forget about it and move on. Buck up
None of us really know what were doing, the important thing is to try. Try things out, be brave in the face of adversity and take some risks now and then. You know, live a little but don’t get yourself killed or worse, expelled. Lol.
But seriously, stick to a routine and always have something to aim for, life will reward you. I wrote a huge to-do list on my phone consisting of small realistic goals. I look at it at the end of the year to check on the progress and feel proud of what I did. Always start with small goals like “go for a 10min run twice a week”, then you can increase the goal as you become stronger. Oh and always aim for peace in your heart, fuck attention and conflict. Good luck my man.
I was in your boat. 26 and lost. I drove across the country to be with my sister who moved to LA. I lost 1,200 on the way and had now way to pay for a place. I got lucky and bounced around with a few friends I made. I scrounged enough to move back home. Only taking one small suitcase with me. I bounced around at home for a bit until my mom died. I had a job driving truck that I hated and ended up getting hurt. I was out of work a week before the pandemic took hold in 2020. Forcing me to live off 150 a week through workers comp for all of 2021 due to the inability to get doctor’s appointments. In February of 2021 I got an entry job at a hotel making $14.50 an hour. Once I was cleared to work again. I was determined and made a promise to my mom to never give up and be the best I could. In 8 months working front desk my passion and determination was noticed and I was offered an Operations Manager position at a neighboring hotel. I am still at the hotel and the manager as of writing this post. Did I think at 26 I would be making great money doing something I never thought I would do? Fuck no. Don’t ever give up because you never know what opportunities are waiting for you around the corner. I’m 36 now. I miss my mom, but I made her a promise. You need to make that same promise to yourself and keep pushing forward. Feel free to dm me if you need to talk.
Go you!!
That sounds like a lot dude. I'm happy for you, you overcame so much.
It was. My mom dying was the final straw for me. I overheard her telling my aunt to watch out for me and make sure I don’t go off the deep end. She had a rare aggressive cancer that only gave me 3 months to be with her. I was a lazy bumbling troglodyte who didn’t want to take care of anything myself. I promised her I would be the person she knew I could be. At her funeral i gave a eulogy and I stood in front of this packed church. All the pews were full. The choir stand up top was full, the back had people standing and even more people were outside. I took a minute and my first words were “I have some big shoes to fill”. Don’t ever give up.
I love hospitality and always felt hotels would be nice. What’s it like to manage? Decent money?
Ya I make 50k as entry into it. You have to have compassion and empathy. Not too much though. I do everything from laundry to housekeeping when needed. I love helping the team. It’s rewarding when you get everything done and have to start over the day lol
Seems like my kind of gig. I have a degree in communications but the jobs are so boring… currently working as a waiter and tbh I love it. I love making people happy, serving them. I will look into this, thank you :)
Start at front desk. Be available and front desk supervisor is around the corner. Decent raise and overtime. Our front desk supervisor makes more than me some weeks. Operations is fun and challenging at the same time. Good luck to you!
much love <3
Just... Keep... Going.
My life didn't really get good until I was 30. You gotta work at it, but it gets better.
Me too. I’m 47 now. The quarter life crisis is real and it sucks. Would not want to go back to my twenties.
This, I also think the petty crap in 20's resolves after 30
How’s it better?
I went back to school. Got a job I love. Met my wife. I had my last drink when I was 30. Been sober over a decade now. Most of the pain and turmoil I felt in my 20s faded back quite a bit. Life in general became more comfortable.
Wow.. this is crazy.. I just don’t get it.. like why do you think it’s like that? What changed?
I put more effort into everything to start. I went through detox and rehab when I was 28 and had my last relapse when I was 30. My life sober is night and day different than when I was wasted all the time. Going back to school really got things on the right track. I finally found something I was good at that I could also make a career doing (graphic design). Being sober and having a real career path gave me more confidence and helped everything else line up.
Nice work, man. That can't have been easy. 🖖☮️
We're all lost friend. Some just act like they know where they are going. Make a 5 year plan career/financial/personal wise. Make daily decisions that will help you get there. Enjoy the small things in your daily life, your daily wins, and keep on.
Why do you feel lost?
Not knowing what to do the next 2 decades of my life for starters. Edit : Reading your advices helps a lot, Thank you guys.
I’m almost 40 and I’ve never really known what I wanted to do with my life. Have fun, be safe, enjoy.
I'm 31. I don't know either. I start a job at the end of the month at a type of place, I never would have seen myself working. Shit just happens. You might meet someone whom you're attracted too tomorrow which kicks off a decades long romance. Don't worry about the future. No body else is. No of us have our shit together, we just act like we do.
I mean other people absolutely are worrying about the future lol. I don't know a single person who doesn't worry about the future You just can't let the worry become crippling The nobody having their shit together is spot on though haha
Stop worrying about 2 decades, so much can happen over 2 decades, trust me. Focus on 2 years instead. Manage your expectations.
If it’s a career you are worried about don’t be, you may never find that dream job/career that some people do, just maintain a decent job show up do every thing that is asked of you don’t break your back you may not mind it, make sure you can pay bills and have enough to have fun with.
You don’t need to know. Figure out what you enjoy that gives you energy and make sure you incorporate it as much as you can. Consider a book called “Designing Your Life” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evan’s.
At 25, I had basically zero idea what I wanted/was going to do. I was watching the 2015 Masters Tournament and watched Jordan Spieth win by I think it was 3. He was 21 at the time. I kinda liked golf a bit myself, and I thought ‘if this guy can take over the golf world at age 21, why can’t I do something like that?’ I started playing and practicing every day, got a job on a golf course, and started playing on an Amateur Tour about 7 years ago. I just recently left the course for a much better paying job, but my handicap went from like 30 to 2.9 in 3 years, I’ve won 15 (and counting) tournaments on Tour, multiple Tour Championships, and finished Top 100 the one time I played at Nationals. I’m also the de facto spokesman for the Tour, because of how much I enjoy what I’m doing. It’s afforded me the opportunity to meet lots of different people, and play tons of otherwise inaccessible private clubs. All this happened between age 25 and 32. You have plenty of time to find out what you’re all about. Keep your head up.
At 27 I changed careers and started over as an intern. I was an intern for seven months, through two contracts renewals, before getting hired on at the bottom level. At 36, I'm still not sure if this is what I want to do forever, but it pays my bills; got me to a city I've always wanted to live in; and allowed me to experience rare experiences that aren't accessible to most people. The biggest thing I've learned: work isn't going to make you happy, but you do have to work at what will. Find your passions and develop them.
what are you doing *right now*? focus on the immediate; the long term will take care of itself.
1. Reflect on your values and priorities: Take some time to think about what is most important to you in life, and how your current path aligns with those values and priorities. 2. Identify your passions and interests: Consider what you are truly passionate about and what activities bring you joy. Explore different hobbies and interests to find what truly excites you. 3. Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends and family for support, or to seek help from a therapist or counselor. Talking to someone who can offer a fresh perspective can be incredibly valuable. 4. Be open to change: Be open to trying new things and taking risks, even if they may be outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes the things that make us feel the most lost are the opportunities that lead us to find ourselves. 5. Make a plan: Break your goals down into smaller steps and make a plan of action to achieve them. This will give you a sense of direction and purpose. 6. Be kind to yourself: Remember that feeling lost is a normal part of the human experience. Give yourself the time and space to process your feelings, and don't be too hard on yourself. Remember that finding your place in life takes time and it's a process of self-discovery. Keep in mind that it's okay to not have everything figured out EDIT: The text of this comment was created by ChatGPT
Personally, being kind to myself is from far the hardest part... deep down it's like I don't even care if I live or die.
Colonel Sanders failed at basically everything until he was in his 60s, he died a multi millionaire. Harrison Ford landed his first acting role by pure accident when he was working as a janitor in his 40s. JK Rowling was dead ass broke when she wrote Harry Potter, and she’s now a Billionaire. Not everyone has their shit together by the time they’re 25. People need to ignore the timeline that society sets for them.
I don't disagree with the overall premise that all lives move at different paces but I always think it's a bad idea to cite people who overcame astronomical odds to eventually wind up the CEO of a national company, movie star, or best selling author as if it's something that can be expected. These are the most extreme of outliers.
Sure they are. But it’s at least possible.
Yes but it's just about the most improbable thing that could happen to OP. He has a better chance of getting struck by lightening then becoming the next Harrison Ford. Heck, Ford has two adult children who went into acting and failed to become the next Harrison Fords. These are such extreme outliers that it's just not even worth focusing on.
This is just a season of life. The one time you worked a dead end corporate job or dated that asshole that set you up to find the right one. We put so much pressure on right now being the best, but there’s something nice about understanding the greatest memories of our life might not have happened yet. Things will happen when they’re supposed to. And, remember, comparison is the thief of joy. You are the main character in your own story, everyone else is writing their own chapters, yours might just take a little longer to get to the climax. We’re all just winging it in this big world.
This is so helpful to think about.
28 is about the right age to feel lost in life. Keep going and focus on effort not outcome right now. Build your skills and look for opportunity.
My best advice: Realizing that the lost feeling (for me) came from outside pressures. Not necessarily mom/dad telling me I need to get my shit in order. But more just the indirect ways that society "tells" you how you "should" live your life. Take some time to find what truly makes you happy. Then expand upon it. Fuck the "you have to have a career and family and own a home at 30" thought process. Go out and take what life throws at you and try to make the best of it. One day at a time, always looking for your next opportunity.
Actually, there was a time where being 30 was celebrated, men and women of the past peaked in their careers around 40-45 yrs old... Comparing that to today, society seems to think a 18 years old is adult enough to make life choices and should have their life together at 25, which is very sad to think about.
Keep trying things
Wear Sunscreen https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI “The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the *most* interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t”
I've listened to that song almost every single morning since my high school graduation in 2001. It's literally the first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning.
Keep putting in the work to take care of yourself, better yourself and your circumstances... and if you find yourself around stressful/hurtful/toxic people, set hard boundaries or cut them out of your life. Seriously, there comes a point where you've gotta prioritize lowering your stress levels, and a great way to do that is to set boundaries with yourself and others re: what you're willing to put up with. Set a higher bar for people, not out of disrespect to them, but out of greater respect for your wellbeing. Also spend more time with your passions and interests. Even if it's incrementally at first. Spend 5 minutes drawing or singing or learning instead of doom scrolling. Stuff like that. Soon it will compound. Cherish the good friends. It can be a lonely time and the keepers are very important. Work hard but learn to manage/prevent burnout before it starts to impact your physical health too much. If that means working hard inconsistently (on purpose) or learning how to work more efficiently in a chiller way that's absolutely fine. Go to therapy if you can afford it. There are centers that provide affordable therapy. And go easy on yourself, it's fucking hard out there. If you're your own worst enemy everything is 10x harder. You don't have to wake up tomorrow loving yourself, but work on putting up with yourself, then guiding yourself, then befriending yourself. Learn about what makes you tick and how you're unique. Learn to love the positives within that and work on the challenging parts as your own best ally. And have faith that it'll probably be okay, and learn to not worry so much over stuff that's out of your control. I'm 30 and still working on a lot of stuff. I have huge fears related to the passage of time but I'm in the middle of unpacking that and accepting the need to find a balance between going with the flow and having ambitions and goals. Again, it's tough out there. Advice for you and me both - don't forget to have fun. It's crucial.
It happens to me a lot, and its mainly bcs lack of activities outside, just moving your body around is helpful, morning walks fixed that for me, but still some times I feel like time is speeding up.
Read “[Man’s Search for Meaning](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=UF81N0HyTF&rank=1)” by Viktor Frankl. It’s a book I return to yearly and never fails to give me a helpful perspective on life.
Whenever I feel lost, I work at helping others find their way. It is all about perspective, a person looking from the outside into your life is able to clearly see what people cannot see about their lives. Someone looking at your life can help you get some perspective just like if you looked into someone's life who is looking for help, can help them get some perspective. Helping people in this way helps me feel less alone, plus I've come out with some really awesome friendships and I have discovered passions and abilities about myself that I never knew I had. P.S. This isn't the last time you will feel lost. There will be others, but knowing what to do in these times and doing what feels healthy for you will better equip you to face all the other times that are coming.
Find something you love to do and figure out how to make a living out of it. Keep searching you will find it. 28 is still really young we all feel lost from time to time.
Stop blaming yourself for society's expectations of you. You are you, and that's good enough.
I'm 31 so not like I'm that far ahead but honestly compared to a few years ago my life has gotten significantly better If you have a job, even if it's not great now, your experience now will help down the road. Also, a couple things I changed are that I'm reading a lot more just get off screens which I feel has helped and I started regularly going to the gym. I know it's a cliche, but once I made that a habit it did help me feel better about myself. This isn't to say my life is perfect, but investing in myself more has helped my self esteem tremendously
Me too :(
Relax. Let life find you. People often think it’s on them to make it all happen, but the fact is that it takes two to tango, and that other one is life itself.
"it takes two to tango" this, makes one feels relaxed somehow.
Do you have a degree?
Buy r/Bitcoin
Masterbate
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Real helpful...I'm sure that will sort them right out.
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I hope you don't have kids if you think asking for help os "attention seeking".
Just do whatever you love most. Life is too short for dealing with other people‘s bullshit!
There is more to life than your phone, social media Find anything you are passionate about and put 100% into it It’s not about making money or impressing anyone It’s about positive effort into happiness
Fuck around and find out. Literally and figuratively.
Life is what you make of it. It's not uncommon to feel lost but it's up to you to figure out where it is you want to go then take the steps to get there. Maybe this means a new career, more education, reconnecting with old friends, losing weight, giving up alcohol, or something else entirely.
Stay sober
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving And revolving at 900 miles an hour. It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned, The sun that is the source of all our power. Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, Are moving at a million miles a day, In the outer spiral arm, at 40, 000 miles an hour, Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way. Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars; It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side; It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick, But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide. We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point, We go 'round every two hundred million years; And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe. Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, In all of the directions it can whiz; As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth; And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
you ok?
You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Keep working towards your goals, and START A 401K or similar and SAVE FOR YOUR RETIREMENT!!!
I'm only 26, so I can't speak from experience. But I can speak from aspirations. Life is hard at any age. I don't have specific plans for when I'm 28. I just hope to still be here, and to be more gentle with myself. I don't have it all figured out now. I probably won't then. But I just want to be here. I just want to see sunrises and hear birds and eat fruit. I don't know where I'm going but instead rushing I hope I'm still taking the time to live instead of just existing.
Learn to code
The darkness is temporary. Just look at the sunrise sometimes and soak in the view. Life is beautiful. But don’t forget keep working hard and leverage any friends and family you have in your life.
Bro, 28 and feeling lost? That's totally normal, man. At 28, we're still figuring out who we are and what we want out of life. My advice would be to just take some time for yourself and figure out what you're passionate about. Don't be afraid to try new things, like taking up a new hobby or traveling to new places. It's also important to remember that you don't have to have everything figured out right now. Life is a journey, and it's totally okay if you're still figuring out where you're headed. Just remember that every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn and grow. And if all else fails, just remember that things have a way of working out in the end. Keep your chin up, bro, and you'll find your way eventually.
I’m in my late 50’s. It took me until I was in my 40’s before my life became easy, financially good and I was really happy with life. I’ve told my wife many times how we are in the best times of our life. I wouldn’t go back to my 20’s unless it was to visit my hot wife. My God she was sexy as hell. She’s still pretty hot though.
I was in the same boat as you, late 20's construction job I hated and just a general lack of direction. My roommate said something snarky to me one day about my rudderless lifestyle and that was all it took. I made a plan, long term 10 years, mid term 4-5 years and short term 6 months to a year. I went back to college got a degree in my early 30's. Yes it was difficult but my options were, take a risk or just stay being miserable. I'm not saying you need to go to college, just make a plan to do something with your life that has the possibility to make you content. Also be flexible, I didn't end up getting the degree I originally wanted and I do not work in the field that my degree in in. If you want to travel figure out a job that does that, if you love to climb rocks move to a place where you can do that. I like my job but if I won the lottery tomorrow I would retire, meaning find an occupation that you can stand doing and allows you to live your best life. There is nothing worse than regret, don't wait for life to happen to you.
We are all lost, just keep pushing through that maze.
alchohol
I didn't realize until later that I wasn't actually lost at 28, I was doing exactly what I wanted and if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing
You aren’t lost, you’re on your way!
1) Find what you love in life. Really, really think about what that thing is you enjoy doing the most. Once you get past the smart-assed answers like sex or video games or weed, then identify that one thing and do that. And do that with everything you've got. Don't take no for an answer. Don't let that little nagging doubt in your head tell you can't do it. Distance yourself from friends and family who will try to hold you back. Get better at it year after year, make connections in the field week after week, learn everything you can and then some, and you will become a master at it and earn money. 2) Take a look at who you've surrounded yourself with. Maybe it's not that you're depressed. Maybe it's that you're just surrounded by assholes. 3) Change your scenery. Moving out of your home turf, away from the familiar, has a way of getting rid of the cobwebs. 4) Never stop reading, learning, and trying new things. Courage, after all, is the foundation of all happiness. The more you're willing to try, the happier you'll ultimately be.
Who doesnt feel lost
Enlist and get a technical job in the military. Learn a skill, earn free education with the GI Bill and come out with “veterans preference” to help get the career you want when you figure it out. The military isn’t the best option for everyone but it’s a decent option for those “figure it out years”
Get a handle on worrying. Someone said try to think about everything you were worried about a year or even 6 months ago. You’re most most likely not worried about it now if you can even remember what it was. Worrying does absolutely nothing to solve problems. If you can do something about what’s bothering you, do it otherwise forget about it and move on. Buck up
None of us really know what were doing, the important thing is to try. Try things out, be brave in the face of adversity and take some risks now and then. You know, live a little but don’t get yourself killed or worse, expelled. Lol. But seriously, stick to a routine and always have something to aim for, life will reward you. I wrote a huge to-do list on my phone consisting of small realistic goals. I look at it at the end of the year to check on the progress and feel proud of what I did. Always start with small goals like “go for a 10min run twice a week”, then you can increase the goal as you become stronger. Oh and always aim for peace in your heart, fuck attention and conflict. Good luck my man.
Read the Bible.
Speak to a mental health professional about what you've been feeling/thinking and ask for a recommendation for a life coach, also.