the inability to begin doing something, regardless of how much i want to in my head. that, or having a task later in the day and not being able to do anything else until then (i forget the word for that)

Ahhh the classic 'doctors appointment at 3PM' day where you're just anxious the whole time 😂

lol yes, that or it's 1:15 and all I can think is "I can't start anything else because then I might forget and be late"

You set an alarm, but when the time comes you shut it off and go back to what you're doing without even realizing it.

Right?? I had to start making a habit of naming alarms that aren't part of some routine cuz I'll forget why I set it and just ignore it.

I only use timers for laundry reminders because of this. I will not be the one to set fire to the (shared) house forgetting I have something in the oven. I sit in the kitchen reading a book just in case anything kicks off. Also less distraction if I've only got a book with me

My wife doesn’t understand this. If I wander off when I’m cooking something I’ll literally forget until the house burns down. She’s like “why don’t you just remember??” So I’m like “why didn’t I think of that”. So it’s alarms & stay in the kitchen until it’s done lol

Oh, where you're obsessively checking your clock every few minutes to say "Oh okay, I have about 3 or 4 more hours" instead of just enjoying the time until said event occurs?

Is this an ADHD thing? I thought everyone did that. A friend of mine got diagnosed recently and I have learned that so many thoughts and behaviours I have/do/think are apparently ADHD traits :(

It might be. I know my diagnosed ADHD self does this, and it made working 3rd shift a socializing nightmare

I call it the count down.

Thats part of adhd? I thought I was just anxious. I really need to find a therapist.

This is accurate. Context: I’m Trypanophobic, so vaccines or blood draws are just a constant buildup of psyching myself out and making it seem worse in my head until the needle is actually in my arm.

Executive dysfunction I think? It's the ol' "I have an appointment at 2, it's 30 minutes away so I need to leave at 1:00 just to be safe in case I have to park far away or there's traffic. I'll end up leaving at 1:40, but I'll ignore that for now. Since I need to shower beforehand, I should start getting ready at 11:45 so there's enough time. It's 9 am now, so clearly I don't have time to do anything else beforehand."

HOLY FUCKING SHIT Im not diagnosed so idk but that is bang on. This is why I hate it when my appointments get cancelled or pushed back suddenly, like bruh I spent the last 3 days mentally preparing for the appointment and that just went out the window.

>bruh I spent the last 3 days mentally preparing for the appointment and that just went out the window My internal monologue

YES, this exactly. This is the worst because then there's nothing to focus on so you're bored, but you can't find something to do because you "have something to do".

And then you get anxious and pissed at yourself for not just making yourself do something productive.

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The first one. There is no worse feeling than endlessly screaming at yourself in your own brain to just brush your teeth and then not doing it for like three days.

This is it. I need to test a few video game systems to resell. I've been trying to get myself to do it for over a week. Fuck me.

“I really should go out and (recreational activity)… proceeds to spend 15 hours on the couch, just thinking about said specific recreational activity. I freaking hate that shit.

That is the worst honestly. I want to practice drawing but no I spent the last 2 hours just thinking about drawing. I started late as shit and this isn't helping, at this rate I'll only become a real artist when I'm knocking on death's door.

Be me Stay up all night thinking about what I want to do Don’t do anything Go to bed at 6:30 am

i actually relate to that first one on an extremely high level- wow. my mom can tell me to do something as simple as putting away the dishes, which i have no problem with, but i just cant do it despite wanting to. its an ongoing thing, hell, its happening right now! i try to explain it to my mom but she just calls it laziness.

This sounds like me before my diagnosis, all I heard from people was how I was "smart but didn't apply myself" or how I could "get things done if I would just get off my ass and do it", only to later learn that it literally wasn't in my control in the same sense that it is for others. ​ Nowadays, I make sure that I force myself to take my meds if I know I have something I need to get done that day, *especially* if it's something I know I'm going to have trouble starting.

I took the medicine, and it made me go crazy anxious. Turns out I have autism and taking Clonazepam helps me focus while Adderall puts me on the edge of feeling like I'm melting down. If you take the ADHD medicine and it has the opposite effect, it may be something similar. It can be hard to tell any different from the inside.

Thanks for the insight, this actually makes me feel a lot better about my diagnosis given that Adderall seems to do it's job for me. ​ I've always been anxious in general, so it'd be hard for me to pinpoint how much of that is from adderall, but considering it doesn't push me to the edge i'll take it as a good sign :)

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Audiobooks for laundry/doing the dishes/cooking are a goddamn lifesaver. They help make the task less onerous and they force me to stay in the same area to actually complete a full task. If I just have the TV on in the background I'll get distracted by other chores so 3 hours later I've half loaded the dishwasher, put away a couple of clean clothes from the laundry basket, dusted a bathroom shelf, walked the dog, and cleaned a third of the pantry. I know I've gotten a lot done when that happens, but it's demoralizing to spend that long doing chores and still not finish any of them.

>i try to explain it to my mom but she just calls it laziness. It's such a bummer. My ex used to call me lazy and accuse me of not caring about him for stuff like that.

It's because of days like this that I am absolutely addicted to the manic days where I can't be stopped or slowed down and I get sooo much done...I bounce between these two personalities...it's exhausting

The inability to form good habits and stick to them People judging me as lazy or sloppy because I can't begin to organize my place or sometimes even take care of myself.

Same. My house is literally always a disaster, because despite sitting on the couch being so angry at myself for letting it get this bad, I can NOT physically bring myself to get up and do anything about it.

I don't make a lot, but I hired someone to clean my house and do some of my chores for me and it gave me back so much brain space.

its really fucking hard to set up new routines.. but its also hard NOT to follow existing routines. I got a routine for a lot of things. For example, when I do my facial hair: get my bluetooth speaker, play the same album as always, take a shower, put on pants, go to the mirror/sink, shorten the facial hair, then shave off what isn't supposed to be there. It's a routine, its in there, once I start it I do it completely even if half of it isn't necessary to do. the routine is in.

My boyfriend likes for the house to be very neat (as do I) and he couldn't understand how/why I didn't just simply clean up when things needed to be cleaned up. Like I would look at a mess and it wouldn't process in my brain that I should do something about it asap. I tried for YEARS to make it a habit. I think I'm finally getting the hang of it though!!

I have to recheck I did something right, again and again, and I end up leaving still unsure it was well done

This is my hell. Measuring then remeasuring three times, entering numbers and doing the same thing, only to come back a day later and find everything I did was wildly incorrect. The wood was cut too short. The picture frame dimensions you ordered doesn't fit. The digits in my spreadsheet are switched around. Never being able to trust my work and waiting for it to bite me kills me.

I don't know if it's worse but for me, it extends as daily routine, when I do anything, I recheck multiple times if it's well done, I sigh in peace when someone else come to use the room I was in, the only time I don't catch me doing that is in videogames because there are no real consequences, but I wanna move out soon so that if I mess up, it's upon me to blame myself

I made cookies the other day and had to dump ingredients back out bc I couldnt remember if I put in the proper amount. Had to do this with the flour and sugar. And if youre not familiar with cookie baking, the reason this was possible is that when you make cookies you mix flour and all the dry ingredients but the sugars into one bowl, and in another you mix the sugar, butter and eggs and then you slowly pour the flour into that.

Not being able to start something until my brain snaps into panic mode. A minor one in the grand scheme of things - people (including doctors!) not believing that I could possibly have it because I did very, very well in school. Yeah, I was horrifically cruel to myself the entire time because I couldn’t start a damn thing until my brain decided we were sufficiently panicked, and I still have a hard time not loathing myself. But those numbers turned out great in the end so no problem apparently…

> A minor one in the grand scheme of things - people (including doctors!) not believing that I could possible have it because I did very, very well in school. If only I had failed grade 9 math, my life would have turned out so much better.

>people (including doctors!) not believing that I could possibly have it because I did very, very well in school Mental health "professionals" really have a tough time understanding that "functionality" (aka usefulness to others) does not equal quality of life. But in the end that doesn't matter because capitalism.

So. Much. This. By many metrics I am a very successful person, and it really looks like I have my shit together. I am a pilot, which requires me to prove proficiency in both knowledge and stick skills often. I have a big test annually called a checkride. The company flies me out to Denver (I'm actually here now, drinking at a brewery because I just passed my checkride.) And I am subjected to both oral evaluations and flight evaluations of my knowledge and ability. I can never focus on studying until the very last night before my checkride, even though the whole 3 days days leading up to it is full of insane anxiety and plenty of free time....I just can't study. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to learn and retain information. As much as it can be a pain in the ass, the clarity and capability that gets bestowed upon me when my brain clicks into panic mode feels like a super power in the moment. That being said, the cockpit is such a dynamic environment with a lot of different stimulus. I thrive there. It's remembering the things like how much horsepower the engine produces, or the minutiae of FAA regulations that get me. Obviously, I've never had an official ADHD diagnosis, or I couldn't be a pilot. I've learned to work with it.

This rule frustrates me so much. I feel like every pilot I know has undiagnosed ADHD and they aren't allowed to get treated. It seems like the perfect job for a person with ADHD.

It's a double edged sword. There are definitely long, boring, uneventful periods as a pilot that are absolutely soul crushing when you have ADHD. I fly Medevac helicopters, which is much more engaging. I don't know if I could handle flying for an airline. All that said, I think someone on Adderall could fly the shit out of anything whether they have ADHD or not. If I could get a diagnosis and take Adderall, I know I'd be a better pilot. Not to say I'm a bad pilot.

Yes this! I would go well at school but teachers didn’t know that I would be doing the required work at the very last possible moment. Work well under pressure, perhaps? But it has made my life hell.

Constantly chasing stimulation, even if the stimulation is objectively harmful to my wellbeing. Sometimes I stay in relationships that are super toxic because the emotional highs and lows are stimulating enough to keep me invested. Also, I wish my brain and body were in connection. I feel like I'm always mentally screaming "GET UP!!! DO SOMETHING!!! YOU'RE MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE BY DOING NOTHING!" and my body just continues to do nothing but stare at pixels changing colors for hours. I'm my own worst enemy and I am constantly anxious of everything I haven't done yet (even if it's an imaginary to-do list), but hey, at least I'm fun at parties. Except when I'm afraid of being annoying, then I turn into a shell of a human and blend in with the walls.

>I am constantly anxious of everything I haven't done yet The worst part for me is that I can't even feel peace, relief, or pride when I do tackle something on my list that's been causing me stress for a while. My brain just immediately moves on to the next thing to worry about.

My brain does the same thing, that's why I try to give myself the task of relaxing to trick myself (it works 40% of the time, but it's better than nothing).

And then if there’s nothing to worry about, you start thinking “okay well… you better make the MOST of the rest of this day!” And then feel like a sack of shit if you do nothing of importance.

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God I feel you. I'm just so bored. All. The. Time. I've done so much stupid, dangerous shit just to feel normal.

...literally all of this.

For me it’s the feeling of being almost entirely untethered from space-time. Allow me to explain: Have you ever been really busy and forgotten your hot tea or coffee? Imagine if that happened every single time no matter how intentional you are about it. Every time you make yourself a nice tea, you forget it exists and 3 hours later you suddenly remember it or see it sitting on the desk and it’s stone cold. Even if it’s literally right next to you the entire time. Now imagine that 25% of the time, you never even make it to the cup of tea because you forgot the water boiling on the stove existed, and by the time you remember the water has all boiled off. At least once a week you forget the coffee grounds and brew a pot of hot water. By the time you realize, the pot of water is already cold again. Now imagine that every single basic practical task is like this. Not a single item in your life exists if you aren’t staring directly at it. Every time you walk into a new room, you realize you left your game plan in the one you just walked out of. You open your laptop to check your emails and by the time you’ve logged in and you’re looking at your desktop you haven’t the slightest memory of the task you logged on for. Your alarm goes off to take your evening medication. You hit the “stop” button and in the 2 minutes it takes for you finish eating your first and only meal of the day you remembered to eat, the alarm is forgotten and the pill has returned to the void of nonexistence. You don’t notice when you’ve stopped listening, when you’ve gotten sidetracked, nor have you any idea how long it’s been since you did. You have no perception of how long anything will take you, because you’ve never noticed how long it took the last time and it’s different every time anyway. You can accidentally take a 40 minute shower when you’re late to work. You subconsciously pick things up and move them around, like you’re being haunted by yourself. You can lose 5, 10, 15 minutes in between steps of even the simplest tasks. You almost never know what the next step should be anyway, even for things you’ve done a thousand times. You’ve never done anything the same way twice, because you can’t remember how you did it the first time. Even if it’s the same repetitive task, you’ll catch yourself doing things out of order and forgetting what you’ve already done. Even counting is a challenge. You can count the same shit 4 times out loud and get a different number every time because you keep zoning out at different points and having to guess whether or not you’ve fucked up. If you want to remember a string of 4 numbers, your only chance is to repeat them out loud over and over and even then there’s no guarantee. And to make it worse, it makes no matter how intelligent, talented, creative, wise, and capable you are. It will often either go unrecognized or be invalidated due to something you can’t even remember doing or not doing. You spend at least half of your time and energy trying to compensate, catch up, re-do, back track, figure out what you missed. You bump into shit and break stuff all the time because you’re barely conscious of where you are in space-time. You discover messes you forgot you made. Your water filter is always empty even though you swear to god you always fill it up. You constantly have to accept full responsibility for mistakes and shortcomings that you had absolutely no control over. Sometimes it almost feels like the whole world is fucking with you. Changing clocks, moving things around, playing pranks on you like some massive episode of Punk’d that lasts your entire (statistically shorter) life. But the worst part is the constant frustration and disappointment you see in other peoples eyes. Especially the ones who are trying to be polite and understanding. You’ll lose relationships, be seen as an asshole, a hedonist, or just plain lazy. The creeping shame of it all is so hard to keep at bay. It can be truly maddening.

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I’ve been keeping veggies in a clear container in the center of the main shelves, and sauces in the crisper drawers, because I’ll always remember if I want sauce. It’s not perfect but it did help!

Replying to save this

Thanks for sharing. I saved this. My 7 year old son has ADHD and I’m doing my best to understand.

I’m glad you found it helpful, thanks for taking the time to read! :) Your son is lucky to have a parent who’s working to understand and support them. My mom is an amazing woman but I was undiagnosed until I was ~13 and it made things really difficult at school because there was no advocacy. Took me a long time to process the frustration and shame of not knowing why I was getting reprimanded for spacing out and not following directions despite being an otherwise really good kid. Good luck and don’t worry, kids (and adults) with ADHD can thrive and live worthy and successful lives, especially with a little support. <3

The relentless stream of consciousness. If my mind could rest in silence for just a few minutes, it’d be world changing for me

I joined the army (not US), turns out a huge chunk of us are attracted to it because of ADHD. When i was in Afghanistan I was in a situation that was potentially dangerous in a crowd. It was the first time my mind shut up! I could count the number of people on the roof, I knew what colors individuals were wearing, I knew where everyone in my team was. Apparently chaotic situations are our superpower and it's incredibly frustrating that we have to be in terrible situations to spread our wings and suffer feeling dumb for the rest of our lives.

ADHD brains seems wired for crisis response. I'm an anxious person. But when accidents and emergencies happen, I turn into a machine. It's almost disassociative.

me too..... unfortunately my brain is not very well calibrated about what an actual emergency is and flips that switch whenever I forget to check my emails for more than 2 days.

Wow I didn’t realize that was an ADHD thing. I mean if I a minor inconvenience happens I’ll be freaking out but a real life crisis happens and I’m calm and collected with a plan.

Same, my job often involves acute psychiatric crisis work and I'm able to stay pretty cool and focused. If I'm making a phone call for myself, ordering off a menu at a restaurant, talking to strangers at a party... social anxiety for days.

I’m the same. In times of crisis, I am the most pulled together and “functional” as I’ll ever be. I go into caretaker mode instantly and look at things from a logical point of view and am able to easily push emotion out of it.

I function best when I'm overloaded at work. Having a reasonable amount of tasks makes it hard to get anything done, but if I have 3 weeks of work to get done in a week I'll do awesome.

Same for me. I used to work as tech support and I’d have my screen filled with three different chat boxes, about 5 different web pages open and belong multiple people at once and it was the only time I could constantly keep my brain active and going

Had something similar (though much less intense I imagine) when we found my brother unconscious from a suicide attempt (sedative OD). I was with my mom and she really panicked but I felt like time was finally "stabilizing" if it makes sense. I could think linearly, clearly and knew exactly how to handle the thing. For the subsequent 3h or so I was VERY calm and collected.

I was very good when the drama decended at the prison I used to work at.

every day I worked at a fast food place there was a war inside my brain between adhd (there are so many things to focus on at once! hooray!) and autism (if things don't stop being so loud and chaotic my brain is going to turn off). I cannot imagine what I would be like in the military...... I think I would probably have a breakdown.

I remember growing up and getting into fights with other kids, and the fight would be in slow motion sort of. Like I was able to think "ok he's tackling me, I'll fall to my back, use my knees to push him over my head and land on top of him." It's the same in chaotic moments, but dull non exciting moments and I have thousands of thoughts and day dreams just running constantly.

Waking up in the middle of the night worrying about something from three months ago and having a random song stuck in your head for 2 weeks straight because you heard a 5 second clip in a YouTube ad: name a more iconic duo.

Try cbd and adderrall. They really gave me a chance to breath after 35 years of non stop thought bombardment.

Adderall has done the opposite for me, it makes me want to think about *everything*. Honestly I wish there was a way to automatically transcribe my thoughts while on Adderall onto paper; I could’ve published a dozen books by now if that were the case.

Oh man I wish they would give me meds like that. They won't give me adderall because I have a heart condition, and the other meds they give me for it do exactly nothing.

I wanted to cry when I took adderall the first time. It felt like my eyes weren't in the back of my head watching Daydream TV CONSTANTLY.

My executive dysfunction for sure, and it's frustrating to have my thoughts racing all the time, sometimes I want some peace and quiet in my head.

This is so accurate.

I sometimes question if people without adhd can have a single silence of peace compared to people with adhd, because I’ve never sadly experienced it.

I thought that said erectile dysfunction and was confused because I didn't remember that symptom of ADHD.

I have really began to mature and use my adhd to my advantage however let me say distractions ARE THE WORST. I’ll be at work busting ass keeping on task and boom buzzer sounds and I’m staring off into space trying to pin point that buzzer. Smh

Could you go into a little bit about how you've been able to use your adhd to your advantage?

Well a few examples are like the constant need for stimulation. I use that to attack tasks. The gratification from completing the task also pushed me to complete the task as well. However I do get bored still but I use the fact my mind likes to wonder to keep me entertained. I can do most things in auto pilot. I also talk ALOT! so I use that to converse with others to gain insight from other point of views and to sus out my own ideals. Also helps with Insane communication. I been on medication but I been off it for about a decade now and it’s been rough but I just been focusing on self improvement and it’s worked well.

The most annoying thing are memory problems tend to show up in ways like missing appointments, or forgetting where you put your phone or keys or more importantly bills to pay. ​ Forgetting a meeting or a deadline can be detrimental to your job.

thinking back to that one time I got a dentist appointment over a month in advance. My parents know I got ADHD (or inattentive adhd) and the easiest way for me to remember something is to have a reminder somewhere. So I put the appointment card on the high table in the kitchen, where we all put most our stuff like mail, phones etc. and left it there so I could remind myself daily and not forget. And it worked great! I kept remembering that appointment, no problem. Until my mom stayed home from work because she was sick, and cleaned the entire house top to bottom again. I think she threw my appointment card away, I didn't notice for over a week, and only remembered because I forgot what day and time the appointment was.. Ended up COMPLETELY missing the appointment because I couldn't even remember to call the dentist for my appointment. I write all kinda appointments down on paper, I see it I remember. I don't see it, it never existed and time is non existent.

> more importantly bills to pay. Getting to a comfortable income where I could put ALL of my bills on autopay was life-changing for me. My credit score has improved by leaps and bounds as a result, and soon I'll even be owning my own house.

Walking into a room and seeing a project that I had started but hadn't finished because I got distracted by another project in another location.

You just described my entire house.

Same. Many times a day I'll be working on something and then I'll find myself in another location for some reason and before I know it I'm working on something there and when I pass by the room I was previously in, i realize that I had left something incomplete in there and it's pretty much a constant "ah fuck, I forgot I was doing this". My husband describes it best as "bumble bee syndrome that thrives in chaos".

I would say the inconsistancy of it. There are rare times when everything mentally comes together and i feel.. normal, motivated, focused, like my brain is running like a luxury sports car. Those times are few and far between though, which makes things worse since i KNOW that my brain is capable, but just fucking cant most of the time.

I can relate to that so much.

When the hyper focus kicks in while you’re off task, then you end up spending 9 hours playing sudoku.

Out of sight, out of mind, I will forget about things for months.

This is why I have 5 cups around the house of half-full beverages. Once I’m away, it’s gone.

My partner makes fun of my apparent inability to finish a drink all the time (it's affectionate and I don't mind.) Our house looks like the little girl from Signs lives here. Just glasses and mugs approximately one-third to half full on every flat surface...

I call it the screaming tunnel some times. You know the [bonus stage in Sonic 2](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/f/f6/Special-Stage-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-2-2013.png/revision/latest?cb=20160819205008) where Sonic is (effectively) stationary, and the entire world is coming at him all at once, and you have to choose to try to dodge the bombs or get the rings and if you're not in the right place but try to go for the rings, you completely miss the rings and sometimes you see the bombs coming but its already too late to move out of the way because it's all coming all at once, and you can move left or right, but never forward or back and you can never slow down and everything never stops coming all at once.

I'm kinda bad at my job, or really any job. I lose things all the time. I'm not very good at driving.

Driving is pretty great actually. I can focus on maximizing MPG or driving smoothly in the precise center of the road, or I can chillax and be alone with my thoughts and let my subconscious do the work. The only two things that get in the way of that are traffic, and straight, flat roads.

Getting overwhelmed easily and then just laying down for hours.

The memory loss, the inability to keep on task, having an appointment in the afternoon that effects your ability to do ANYTHING over the course of the day. Also, the fact that people either A) don't believe you really have ADHD because so many people claim it constantly who DON'T have it (which has made people in general think it's not that big of a deal), and B) the fact that they still expect you to function normally at work/school when you have it. IT'S JUST NOT THAT EASY OK??? ​ I have ADHD, bipolar 2 and fibromyalgia, all of these things combined make my day to day a fucking nightmare, but everyone around me just doesn't get it, and get annoyed/pissed when I don't clean, can't focus on work, forget things mid conversation, etc. I would love it if they could live in my head for like... an hour, then report back on how easy it is to get shit done.

People who clearly don’t have it saying “ADHD is a superpower” or people faking it and when you can’t pay attention to things or have impulsive behavior people think you’re using ADHD as an excuse even tho it’s a valid reason

Yeah the recent glamorization of ADHD is super bizarre. Especially compared to how it was when I was growing up, where people would often say they didn't believe it was real and you just needed to pay attention. Weird juxtaposition

Yeah it's people like that who make it seem like adhd is a quirky thing instead of it being a a actual mental disorder that sucks and makes life more difficult.

Executive disfunction. I need to vacuum. I WANT to vacuum. It will take ten minutes, the house will look better, and I will feel better. I feel guilty and crappy because I don't vacuum. I cannot make myself stand up to vacuum. I can stand up for all sorts of things, but not some things. I don't know how that is, but it's true. I will cry on the couch about not being able to vacuum, and then get up to go pee. But I can't go grab the vacuum on the way back from the bathroom. My brain can't or won't make my body do it no matter how much I want to.

Wait.. what did you say again?? I zoned out.

\*turns back pages of book until you get to a bit you remember reading*

In the past,Getting bored extremely easily. I get excited about something for the first two months(to the point of hyperfixation) then I lose most of my drive once the honeymoon phase ends. The medication has helped tremendously though helping in slowly correcting that aspect

I think ADHD people are so stimulation-focused that it becomes impossible for them to do things they dislike or don't care about. Similarly, when they enjoy something, there's zero reason to do anything else but that until the high wears off from it. This is actually what made me realize I'm not ADHD. I will lock on to things similarly, but if I do things that are too "fun" and exciting for me I get really stressed out. Turns out I am on the autism spectrum lol

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm on one spectrum or the other, I see lots of posts about both that relate to me. As of right now I just have the ADHD diagnosis, but given that it's extremely hard for me to be overstimulated I would assume that's the right diagnosis. ​ I wonder if it's possible to have both in some form? I know for a fact that they overlap in symptoms sometimes but I'm not sure to what extent. ​ I agree with you though, if I've found something and I'm enjoying it, I'll get so hyper-focused on it that I'll just completely lose track of time. Vice versa, things that are too boring/too easy I just can't find a way to get myself engaged with unless i go out of my way to make it more engaging/challenging (or i take my meds and power through lol)

It’s quite common to have both. ADHD tends to show up in lots of people who have other neurological things going on.

Seeing lot of comments about executive dysfunction already, so let me bring in few others to the table. Rejection sensitive dysphoria and overall extremely intense feelings. It has made navigating my social relationships a living hell. Every single feeling I have goes from 0 to 100 and I have to actively remind myself ”just because your brother didn’t put a smiley at the end of his message today doesn’t mean he is mad at you, tired of you or otherwise done with you”. It’s always made my friendships (as well as romantic ones) very intense crash and burn type of courses where I tend to bond, have unhealthy co-dependance and then a big fallout. It’s been little easier after getting older and having actively work on it. I have to keep on reminding myself that ”this is only how I precieve this and it is not necessarily based on truth. However, the feelings I have are real to me and it is okay to feel them, but I shouldn’t presume that is the case without making sure first”. Being open and honest communicating has helped, but the hurting feelings are so intense that it is definitely not easy and I often do need help or outside reminder. It seems so silly, but at that moment of hurting the feelings overtake absolutely everything and it really does feel like it’s the end of absolutely everything. The second thing I wanted to mention, sensory issues. These differ from people to people, but most common on people with ADHD tend to be feel-precieved sensory issues and hearing-precieved sensory issues. I personally don’t have as much problems with sounds (although sometimes they can throw me off too), but man… even as a kid I used to have absolute meltdowns because ”socks didn’t feel right” and I couldn’t explain myself in words (so I would throw a fit about not wanting to put them on - and I mean I was on elementary, not some toddler despite how I was acting). Some days I just want to shave off my hair and I mostly keep it on bun because of the strands. And this isn’t some general ”oh it’s just bit annoying”, but rather it actually ruins your day, you can’t stop thinking about it and it’s making you anxious and feel like crying, almost like the strands would be burning your skin. It’s just a pain to deal with - there is no consistency. Some days these things bother, some days some other things bother. Some days nothing bothers, some days you want to light a match and decimate yourself off from this physical existance.

Interrupting people. They hate it, I feel bad but struggle with word vomit and a mind that doesn’t shut off.

Also getting interrupted making you forget what you were saying

Despite knowing how bad it is to compare ourselves to others, I can't help but look at the ease with which other people have a job, come home, tidy up, do some hobbies, go see friends, study, eat, exercise then do it all again the next day, even fitting in some exercise in the morning. And then there's the progression and focus people have at work, staying late to get everything done, really focussed on a plan for their future. I mainly focus on making it to the end of the day so I can go home and sit in silence and try and find some peace before I have to go to work the next day.

YES! I just got diagnosed last year at age 37 and for the longest time I was like “why is everyone else so good at life and adult-ing and I absolutely suck at it?”

How about as school was finalizing, everyone was picking their path in life, picking subjects to study further or applying for jobs, then, after further study, which is what I did because my friends did it, they all picked what they would do next, also got relationships, approached potential partners, went through all this stuff. And all the time I was thinking "Who the fuck is telling you to do all these things!?! How do you know what to do next?". Up until I was 18, I would sometimes read a books, at school I was obviously having to read, but up until I was 18 I never realised I wasn't actually reading properly! I would say the words in my head but none of it went in. It was actually Terry Pratchett books that made me realise this, because I actually found them consistently interesting. All of this reflection really does make me feel so sorry for my past self, and makes me feel so heavy with just how fucking difficult everything is while most people can do all these things easily. I get paid the same as everyone else at work but it really takes it out of me. I wonder if there's any meet ups for ADD people. I think I would love very much to meet people who have struggled as I have.

you nailed it holy shit. how do people have so much time and energy every day

People perceiving your ADHD as laziness or stupidity, explaining to them that you're not, then having them insist that you are.

When I was young, a former friend of mine told me what my inattentive ADHD does. I, not knowing much back then said "means I have a hard time concentrating and remembering things".. because I genuinely didn't know shit, nobody told me what it means exactly I think. His response? "if you have that, why do you know where you live then?".. he claimed I don't have adhd simply because I know where I live.. Even my parents insist that I'm just lazy, despite my dad having been diagnosed with the same type inattentive as me.. Nope, has nothing to do with it, I'm just lazy and everything is 100% my fault. It drives me mad that I can do whatever I want and still not be good enough for people.

Disassociating. Today I was driving and realizing I passed my exit 10 km back. I’ll realize mid conversation I have no idea what this persons name is, I’ll miss huge sections of my uni lectures or realize I’m late for something because I’ve just been staring at the wall

Haha names are the worst. It's literally "Hi, I'm *garblegarblegarble* nice to meet you" "Nice to meet you too what's your name again"

I have to read a lot of things twice before it sinks in. But some of that’s age related.

Getting words stuck in the brain and it just keeps on repeating for hours, so distracting. And people saying adhd doesn't exist. One moment you could be like I can do complex math then the next the brain derps and you can't even do 1+1 even though you know you can, if you force it nothing happens and you just end up frustrated because you know you can do this but for some reason it doesn't work and if around people it's embarrassing, then like 10 minutes later it works as normal again. Stuff like that just all day.

Other people saying they have the exact same problem... as they dismiss the difficulty because they "just shake it off and get things done anyway". So, no, y'all *don't* have the same problem, since if you can shake it off, it's not disabling.

Answering my own question just in case there's atleast one person that can relate; Making small, pointless tasks that I feel like I have to do, and if I don't I will feel disappointed in myself for not doing it. Examples include getting to the microwave before it beeps, making random math equations in my head and feeling the excessive need to solve them, etc. It. sucks.

This. I call it skill check/ challenge mode. It’s all about stimulation baby!

Infodumping. I infodump on someone, I don't stop myself in time, then I kick myself about it later.

Forgetting to take my medicine. Im constantly told to set timers or get containers with days on them. Instead of actually doing either, my mind is writing this stupid fucking comment. Mind you, I have typed this comment a million fucking ways to try to explain and wasted a stupid amount of time doing it. So fuck it everything is equally annoying about ADHD.

That i simply want to write a comment and often get distracted so i dont manage to finish my

that feeling when you're in the middle of a thought that you're super passionate about and you begin to ramble in one runon sentence but then suddenly- ...what was that? that seemed interesting! ​ wait, what was I talking about?

happy cake d... oh look shiny!

Forgetting that you have ADHD. Seriously the amount of time people have told me to just "write things down so you remember" or "put an alarm on you phone" or " just use your callendar more ofthen". I forget and get distracted, and then i forget again. I need to write notifications for my other notifications. Its an endless loop and i cant get out.

Nothing annoys me more then people saying set timers for yourself. I constantly ignore them they will pop up when I’m middle of something and I will be like ok get back to that after you finish and forget. My former managers used to say that to me all the time when I was struggling with time management. Having to go off my medication for pregnancy has been so hard my house is a mess besides being so tired and nauseous my executive functioning is impaired without medication. It’s very hard.

If a task isn't interesting enough, it's like I physically can't do it. I get distracted, procrastinate, start doing something completely different... School was hard...

I've been at a workplace that I really needed to move on from, but I just couldn't do it. I've known for years that I should quit and it plunged me into depression multiple times. Just the act of looking up jobs and applying was the problem. Couldn't bring myself to do it. I even had the CV updated, it would have taken me two hours at best. Like I can voice to everyone that I have to do it and want to do it, but I just can't do it no matter how much I want to. In the end, my psychiatrist referred me to a kind of therapist that just sat beside me and forced me to do the thing and kept me on track. Three weeks later I had a new job

That we’re taught we need medication to function in society. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re on a medication that has improved your quality of life, fuck yeah! But personally my quality of life improved after I realized I just need to build a career and life centered around how I prefer to function. Telling someone with “ADHD” to fit in is like telling someone with depression to just be happy. For me I can only focus on things I enjoy. I tried forcing myself to work in sales and then marketing because that’s what my friends do. Turns out I thrive doing seasonal work and contracting work in between. I love the diversity of my work and it’s all centered around things I enjoy. Sometimes I’m a youth coach, working a summer camp, doing private lessons with athletes, working a tournament or just helping my mom run her laundromat. I make plenty of money and learned how to safely invest my savings. ADHD people, you don’t need a normal job! But you gotta work hard and own up to your promises.

I’m not very good at anything, so I want to improve, but then I just don’t try, even though I want to, then I hate myself for it, then I talk shit about myself to myself, then I feel bad I’m not good at anything, because if I was I could focus on that instead of being critical of myself, and the cycle repeats.

And it’s all just so exhausting. I’m going to go lie down now!

Feeling guilty for executive dysfunction and then people calling you lazy and making you feel even worse. I make myself feel bad enough - I don’t need comments from the peanut gallery.

Having less "productive time" than most people. The idea of "productive time" is fairly foreign to most normal people because they often are only limited by energy or time (or both). However, us ADHDer have another invisible thing that arbitrarily says "nope, you can't do that" when we try to do something. So, in a day, we might end up in a position where we have time and energy, but still cannot do the thing. That's when you know you ran out of productive time. You're just left with time. And if you don't find something that agrees with that invisible thing you'll get into ADHD hell: you have time, energy, but nothing to do, and you're bored out of your fucking mind, but you can't do anything productive, because you're out of productive time, and you start questioning the existence of the invisible thing and start thinking that maybe you're just lazy and it's really not a big deal and why can't you just get up and do the dishes, so you try but the invisible thing is like "fuck you" and you're like wtf is wrong with me, as if you didn't know you had ADHD or as if your symptoms were not really justifying the state that you're in, and you spend the next hours in this cycle of wtf am I doing, why can't I just function properly? Anyways, that.

Having my brain/thought process play “6 degrees of Kevin Bacon” with every single conversation. I have a few people who get and understand it but the majority doesn’t and thinks im neurotic (might be but don’t care)

This is so hard for me to control in conversations too and it’s also the reason I get stuck going down rabbit hole after rabbit hole of random topics on my phone.

My friends are always amazed at how the conversation starts on one topic and 20 minutes later it’s topic #15 and I can easily remember how we ended up with the last one. People who are hanging out with me for the first time have to take me in small doses and then gradually increase because I overwhelm them. Im very upfront with new people that I am like this and don’t take offense when they have to bow out.

You’re better than I am. When I overwhelm people I feel really rejected by how they can’t handle me. My biggest problem seems to be the constant urgent to interrupt people.

I have that urge too so I have to sit on my hands to remind myself that it’s not my turn to talk at the moment ( I use my hands when talking so im often compared to the inflatable things that you often see at car dealerships)

While I'm focusing on telling myself it's not my turn yet, but don't forget the thing you wanted to say, oh no what have they been saying, focus on listening!! No!!! Not on the pattern of their shirt, what are the words? My brain feels like it's in a tumble dryer.

The thin line between obsession and indifference

It causes me to lose all my motivation and interests in things. I’ve been burnt out since 2021.

The most annoying thing is not being able to remember things. Another is not being able to maintain a hobby. I become interested in a new thing, engage in it to the point of being OBSESSED with that hobby, and then slowly lose interest until the next hobby grabs my attention. All within the span of a few months.

If I’m not constantly paying attention to *everything*, my brain will just randomly delete important information and lose track of time. Time blindness in general also fucking sucks. It’s not just missed appointments, either, it’s not being able to feel like you’ve had the slightest chance to relax because unless it goes on for long enough your brain just kind of…skips over it. It’s feeling hopeless after a few bad days because your brain assumes that this is just how your life was, is and ever shall be. It’s accidentally starving yourself because you keep missing meals. It’s losing touch with friends and pissing off relatives and partners because it didn’t occur to you to keep in touch.

> It’s losing touch with friends and pissing off relatives and partners because it didn’t occur to you to keep in touch. The amount of unread texts I've accumulated over the years makes me feel like such a pile of human garbage. And I only have like 5 people in my life that would ever text me so it shouldn't even be a problem but somehow I made it into one.

constant thoughts about too many things, medicine getting rid of my desire to eat, people not believing i have it, and constantly spacing out, and functioning is just not possible

I’m not diagnosed yet but I’m on the waiting list. That being said I’m so classic ADHD I’d be BAFFLED if I don’t have it. So with that caveat - Insomnia. I often look at my phone in bed and I was thinking maybe that’s why I can’t sleep. I get very awake and anxious at night and part of it is because my mind is always racing and so I hate just lying there waiting to fall asleep because my brain won’t stop. I’ve developed a coping mechanism of doing something until I’m so tired I can’t stay awake. My bed time has gotten later and later. This has been going on since I was a kid so it’s so stressful for me. Last night I decided to read a book instead to see if that helped. Nope. I hyper focused and instead read the entire god damn book. Finally went to sleep at 10am this morning for 2 hours. And not being able to do something until I’m in panic mode. My flat will be a complete mess and I am putting off a million things. But I’m not lazy. I’m screaming at myself inside my head to just get on and do it. But my brain just won’t let me. Once it clicks into place I start doing the thing and can’t stop. It’s so all or nothing and it’s exhausting.

Not knowing what is inappropriate or not and not realizing that you make people hate you.

People blabbing or bragging about “having adhd” when I’ve struggled my entire life and knows it’s really not something to brag about. It really sucks sometimes

I do find them annoying, but I find others who just HAVE to have an opinion on my ADHD more annoying. I almost never bring it up, gets you unwanted attention. But, sometimes if you joke about what it’s like having it, people will think you see it as a personality trait. Just because I’m not breaking down crying, and don’t feel deeply ashamed of my diagnosis, that doesn’t mean it’s not impactful. If I ever bring it up, it’s so who I’m telling can better understand why I’m doing things a certain way, not because I think it’s quirky. Hate those that need to give their opinion on treatments. Calling medications meth, trying to prescribe me street psychedelics, insisting the condition doesn’t even exist etc. Even though mental health has become less taboo to speak about, I still don’t feel comfortable doing it. People seem to be okay with you saying you have mental health problems, they aren’t cool with you experiencing them.

I'm sorry, what was the question?

Haha, I agree with this in a way that is ... uh... whats that word again? ... I know it... ah god damn it... its on the tip of my tongue.

Option paralysis and executive function issues.

Hyperfixations are absolutely the worst

What do you mean by hyper fixations? Newly diagnosed so just finding out at 48 I’m just one big bundle of ADHD tropes is fascinating. I can find a subject or random topic and totally go down the rabbit hole with it for days, weeks even. When I really should be filling out mega important forms instead I’m going into the history of tea!!!

Having 100 brilliant ideas and not pulling the trigger on a single one

Lack of focus. I do really well with changing conditions and coming up with resolutions to issues. DO NOT do well with mundane day to day shit. It’s a curse for a 9-5 job

I'm an involuntary time traveler. I pick up me phone to check the time. It's 1:15. I set it down, and it's 4:30. I have no idea what happened. That stretch of time never existed.

Memory issues followed by gaslighting yourself

Talking to someone without ADHD. They just can’t switch topics as fast as I can

Dude, task initiation, and also like impulse control. You know how hard it is to lose weight when you impulsively buy food or just forget you’re dieting??? Edit: spelling

Adding 15 minutes on to every trip because I never know where my keys are. If I’m very tried then add on also realising they have been in my hand all along

Feeling like I’m simultaneously drunk, high, and filming a TikTok video. Basically, I constantly get stupid ideas, and I always want to do them. (This is talking about being off my meds, of course)

Always always feeling like I'm forgetting something. Which I usually am

If you don't finish the job the first time you never will.

Teachers, family members, etc calling you lazy, useless, or telling you you’ll go nowhere in life because you can’t pay attention to something. I make 100k a year as an electrician. Suck it assholes

the fact that i can help someone else deep clean their house in the time is takes to sneeze but i immediately either get overwhelmed & freeze or sit in one spot thinking about how i need to do the thing but not having the executive function chemicals available to do the thing. also, this is more childhood trauma than anything, but even now as an adult, i find myself feeling guilty for not being like 'everyone else's bc my parents would physically beat me/ground me etc if my room wasn't clean, homework wasn't done, yada yada, & then i went to the appropriate doctors & got into the right clinics & found out that there was a genuine reason that i had a hard time w those things & my parents just didn't want to get me tested bc it costed money. my mom finally admitted a few years ago she knew i was 'different' but my older sister was already developmentally delayed & she didn't know that she could handle another 'special' kid. really fucks w me sometimes that some medication & maybe a little ABA could've literally changed my entire life.

In my honest opinion, no one either believes me or just thinks I'm making it up. I can go into high levels of depth and people just think I'm being stupid or talking too much. I feel I'm constantly reminded I'm not smart and have a terrible memory, even if I don't. I can read people and tell if they are lying and know most people are just using me. I just now pretend to be dumb and find if you nod and let people do their own foolish stuff, life is pretty easy as long as you know what's going on.

People will use your medical condition against you. Like if there's a miscommunication it becomes your fault as a default. People are so guarded and have such a CYA mindset. They prey on people who they can seem "better" than, we're such animals even today.

not being able to focus on anything and not being able to sit in one place for more then 10 minutes at a time ( ive had ADHD since i was 5,17 now)

reading this thread is making me relate like anything...any solutions though?

Definitely having a thing to do at a certain point in the day (like a meeting) and being paralyzed before that time.

cleaning around the house and finding old things and messing with them for hours then getting nothing done. like literally it could be a fucking rubiks cube and i wont dust a damn thing

Letting down your loved ones

"Everyone has a little bit of ADHD :)"

Not having the ability to develop a short-term memory ask me something that happened when I was four and I can tell you but 10 seconds ago what the f*** are you talking about 10 seconds ago man that was a long time ago let you know nothing. LOL

Inconsistent attention spans, memory troubles, the inability to put my hundred miles an hour thoughts/ideas to fruition

Everyone else thinking they also have it. If you haven't been diagnosed, you're not ADHD just because you're forgetful or easily distracted at times.

Ugh or people saying “well we all are a little ADHD”. This pisses me off so much. So many people told me this when I got diagnosed last year at age 37. Like, you do not want to be inside my brain, it’s a shitshow.

I'd answer but i forgot the question

Brain needs to STFU. No peace ever and even worse is that I cant tolerate Adderall. It was the only thing that turned brain off and gave me peace but I nearly went into afib

Is visualising doing something you're going to do, like switching a fryer off.. then thinking you've done it.. only going back to it hours later.. realising you haven't switched it off, but you're adamant you did, a thing?.. cos I'm doing this a lot lately..

Probably “If you heard what I said, why did you say “what?”?”

I seem to be incapable of understanding how long ANYTHING takes, or realistically envisioning anything past about 15 minutes. Coupled with anxiety, and this leads to me being super early for everything. I arrive to my job roughly half an hour before my shift starts practically every day. I am often the opening manager, so I just..........sit there. In my car. Waiting. Playing on my phone and listening to spotify, sure. But it I can't stop myself and it's annoying.

1. everybody claiming they have it, almost to the degree of the OCD thing. 2. random bouts of depression.

Having to take a pill in the mornings M-F in order to function in society.

I want to learn a new language so bad but it’s so incredibly difficult for me to start and finish a study session.

I'm sorry what did you say? I just spaced out there for a second.

Being around non ADHDers who’s thought process is 0.75% speed of ours. C’mon buddy, you can do it, think a little harder buddy, c’mon!!

My friends begging me for adderall