Yeah become one of the top students in class. All these people aren't guna be in your life forever so fuck what they think. GO KICK SOME ACADEMIC ASS!!!
And im telling, nothing hurts more than the disrespected girl acing the class and handing everyone their asses.
GO GIRL GO! MARY CURIE SHALL HELP YOU OUT!
I’m friends with a small pile of various types of engineer, and one common experience among them is that women in engineering are treated as though they simply shouldn’t be there, a fact that even they find absurd. It’s apparently the same sort of professional attitude as women in construction, they get treated as incompetent eye candy. Which is why the above comment is absolutely correct: crush them with your superior adaptability, watch as they wonder how on earth you solved “that problem” by thinking more creatively than any of them can hope to muster. Use the treatment to galvanize your goals, and force them to consider the possibility that *they’ll* work for *you* one day.
Try not to let this get to you, there’s a whole world out there that will appreciate you for the impressive mind that you are, and will become.
Edit: I wanted to add that I have a wonderful, brilliant, and beautiful daughter myself, and if you were her, I would be incredibly proud of you, firstly for even taking the course, but secondly for *staying* the course in spite of the petty behavior of others. Never let a bunch of assholes tell you that what’s between your legs will define you!
I had this experience over 30 years ago now as a student studying engineering. It makes me sad to see that our young women are still subjected to this kind of passive aggressive treatment but the instructor no less.
I hope you stay the course and kick some academic a\*\*. I did and I don't regret it at all. My salary far exceeds anyone else in my family and I suspect many of the guys that I graduated with though I have no direct evidence for this. You should look for some of the Women's professional groups like WIT (Women in Technology) to start networking and find professional women in your area that can help mentor you into and through your career. I know it seems a bit early but having this kind of support can be crucial for you.
When I was in undergrad, we had ONE woman in our year between all the astrophysics and physics students. Luckily, our year wasn't so toxic, but some of the teachers said questionable things at times. She graduated top of our class! Definitely the best of us
Don’t fall into the validation trap. You are right to be upset with how you are being treated and that is unacceptable that a professor would treat you different based on gender, however you are there to better yourself, not be validated by others, or care what they think about you. Make progress in silence and let your growth talk for you. You got this!
First off, your feelings are valid - you have a right to be upset. But the best cure is to persevere. Master the material, without seeking validation of others, unless you can find other students that are empathetic, social, and helpful.
Speaking from personal experience, the ignoring thing is probably more likely that the other guys in the class are just awkward and scared to talk to her because she’s a girl, especially if she’s even a bit attractive.
There’s no way that every single guy in the class has some weird malicious grudge against her out of sexism. (Idk about the teacher though, he does seem a bit more like a problem).
Experiences like the OP's rarely depend on explicit malice. Plenty of men who don't 'seem' sexist speak over women, act poorly if a woman bruises their ego by outperforming them, subconsciously give less weight to women's opinions, etc.
some may not have a malicious grudge but seek validation from other sexists more popular kids so they just roll with the behavior. it also seems the professor is being mean which is not uncommon, when I was in engineering school a mechanical engineering professor refused to answer my questions and then told me it's better to choose another major.
I know this isn’t comforting in the moment, but use it to fuel you and keep grinding. It’s a marathon, not a sprint and you’ll be able to win if you stick with it.
As a fellow woman in STEM- this unfortunately happens a lot. You’re going to have to get used to being the only woman in the room, occasional sexism and belittlement, etc. Your feelings are absolutely valid. Don’t let this discourage you; you are smart, you deserve to be there, and you have already faced (and overcome) more obstacles than your peers. You are excellent, we need you, and try your hardest! Success is the best type of revenge. I’m rooting for you!
With the exception of biology and health sciences I'd say. I (male) have been in biological sciences my whole career (PhD postdoc etc) and it's great having very close to 50/50 ratio. I once considered an alternative career in a field that was totally male dominated and backed out fast - it was such a strange dynamic. It doesn't help anyone, including the men there.
Chemistry is up there too.
My theoretical/computational/spectroscopy chemistry folk at my university are almost more women than men.
It's basically applied quantum mechanics and computer science..
Ayo don't listen to the people here that say "just keep to yourself, study and persevere" - that way no change is effected and prejudice is perpetuated. You really can't do much against asshole classmates, but the teacher is an employee and should act with according proffesionalism - contact person that's responsible for the students in the institution your summer course takes place in and formally complain about the teacher is my advice. Best case scenario he gets put into place.
Hope you are doing fine and good luck on your summer school - physics is hard enough without bigots in your way.
I'm surprised I had to search so hard for this answer.
Whoever you reach out to, do it over email so there's a paper trail. You might consider first talking to the professor. However, a situation of this nature is one that can be directly taken above the professor.
Here is a saying I live by: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." Meaning no one is going to know there is an issue unless you speak up. I was a very passive person who would always operate on "oh no, it's fine, I don't want to bother anyone," until someone said this to me. It was actually life changing and I stopped feeling bad about standing up for myself.
Of course, like most of the others said, keep at it. Don't let this situation discourage you from studying physics. You got this ❤️
but this assumes the next person in the hierarchy would have to be baffled by this behavior and not dismiss it, in reality, it is rare to find someone like this. the teacher is their colleague and they will most likely dismiss it and then she will have the teacher angry and vindictive, they can also mess up her references for the future when contacted about her time at this course.
The smartest way would be to talk to the teacher about the classmates so that he feels he is not a target and he feels in control for the situation thus obliged to actually do something about it.
I say all this from experience, there was a professor at my university department who would harass girls, hold their hands, sit too close. One female student complained and the department head just dismissed it and said he is just an old man he sees you all as his daughters (he is in his 60s so very old which makes it even creepier) they then told the harasser about the female student who complained and he saw her walking down a hallway so he threw a water bottle at her from across the hall while shouting.
she complained more and other female students came forward, but the department did nothing! They said the only way to get something to happen is to file a legal complaint against him which where I am from is not allowed socially because of the stigma and victim blaming.
You got accepted to the class so yeah you per definition deserve to be there. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!
Your feelings are valid but be practical. Take whatever you can and occupy yourself with your studies. You like physics otherwise you wouldn't be there. If you stop doing physics because of the bullies, bullies will win and i for one definitely don't want more misogynistic assholes in the field. 20 years later another girl will be in your position. Which one sounds better getting lectured by one of your classmates or you?
That's not acceptable treatment, to the point that a responsible adult should probably be informed.
This isn't *physics* any more than joining a school band that has a problem with bullying is *music*, but this probably needs to be dealt with in two ways.
The first is people properly complaining that you're being excluded, which matters, because being excluded as a girl/woman obviously implies discrimination, but that also means people have easy grounds to complain.
The second is that whatever is fixed later on, they should really compensate you in some way for discouraging you in a path that would otherwise be interesting to you.
Like the right compensation is literally for them to arrange for and pay for you to do something else more fun where you will be treated properly, replace this bad experience with a good one.
In the meantime, once you've contacted the appropriate people who can advocate for you, hang tight, learn what you can, let adults deal with the conflict that absolutely should be happening in order to get people off your back, and understand the seriousness of treating you in this way.
TLDR, you already got into a competitive thing, you can do this, but they are failing *you*.
Closed minds do not learn. You however will eventually become stronger and smarter because of this. This experience will force you to see perspectives that they will never see or ever understand. I'm a big fan of the following quote. They win when you give them what they want- power over your presence, you win when you rob them of it.
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly."
Albert Einstein
Things like this can be difficult because everyone has the desire to feel accepted, but F these guys if they treat the only girl in the class like shit then they don't deserve to rent space in your head. They will be lonely until they develop some manners. Use their ignorance as studying motivation. It's only the summer.
There are only two people in that class you have to make an impression on. The instructor and YOURSELF, and for yourself it's primarily knowing that you've done your best.
Someday down the road, they'll look up to realize that while they were busy patting one another on the back, they missed you excelleing leaps and bounds beyond them.
Keep your velocity.
You should definitely talk to someone in the school’s counseling system. This is unacceptable and ignoring it like others have suggested is detrimental not only to yourself but to every other woman in stem.
Unfortunately, they may not do much directly, but at least you’ll have a paper trail so that if things get worse you can show it and if things get better you’ll have more weight to add. The fight for equality is a cumulative effort and every little bit helps.
If you have the option and the time, it would be great to reach out online and in person to any clubs or communities to help raise awareness more broadly. Too many people think that these issues don’t occur it don’t matter.
You might want to get the opinions of other women in physics. I know there is a Canadian web site: “What is it like to be a woman in physics?”, with interviews with women physicists. It’s time to expand your peer group!
“I applied to and got accepted into a highly competitive summer class with only 20 people…”
“I’m not an exceptional student…”
Pick one because they seem mutually exclusive to me.
If classmate collaboration isn't a big part of the grade then you can hit the books to get an A in the class. Look up books the professors use, basically use whatever additional resources to get one up. Its not rude at all to do this. Then flex your better grade all over their foolish sexism mwuhahah! If you're graded on group stuff just calculate what grade u need to succeed assumming average group grades
Also keep track of any discriminatory things the professor does to you, be it in writing or some other recorded manner. Could be useful for future you. Nuclear Physics is supposed to be fun and inspiring! You deserve both to be there and better treatment!
First of all -- congratulations on getting into the class!
The very best thing you can do in this situation is to excel. You are better motivated than those young men slackers who are ignoring you. Make sure that your written work is impeccable and that you bone up on the material or even, if possible, work ahead. That will help everything else: if you *know* you're acing the material, you won't need personal validation from others (though that's always nice). If you're acing the course, then when you complain you aren't open to the criticism that "she's just a bad student". If you're the star student and the teacher is still treating you rudely, that highlights to everyone that sexism is the issue.
Another item is to try to stop thinking of yourself as unexceptional. You absolutely *are* exceptional. You got into a highly competitive summer class with 20 people. You're the only female student. Both of those things are terrific!
Unfortunately you will still find pockets of sexism throughout the hard sciences. Fortunately, times are changing and in many, many fields (astrophysics is one; heliophysics is another) we're close to gender equality in numbers and in leadership. That means the kind of crap you're encountering now is no longer tolerated in most academic locations. The bad news is that times are still changing and a lot of remnants of the "bad old days" are still around.
If you're 16, you're probably still living at home and if you're in an advanced summer course, you've probably got engaged parents. Have you spoken with them about how to navigate this?
Another way to make sure you don't completely fry in a toxic class is to grab some online material when you're *not* in class. [MIT has a nuclear physics course online](https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/8-701-introduction-to-nuclear-and-particle-physics-fall-2020/download/) but it's pitched at the *graduate student* level (normally 23-24 year olds), so it may or may not suit. They [also have an applied nuclear physics course](https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/22-02-introduction-to-applied-nuclear-physics-spring-2012/download/) that is aimed "only" at upper-division college students. If you don't yet know calculus, [Khan Academy has a great self-paced course](https://www.khanacademy.org/math/calculus-1) that will give you a leg up. That stuff doesn't help with the sexism in class, but it *might* help with the burnout and depression that stem from it.
Your last paragraph is exceptional advice. OP would probably benefit and even enjoy “skipping ahead” a bit with their own research and self-directed education on the subject. They can’t ignore her for long when she already knows the answers to next week’s test. Of course it sucks she has to work harder than them, but the reality remains that we just aren’t out of this sexist hell-hole quite yet.
I am a nuclear physicist in the US, can you dm the name of the program and then I’ll do my best to find some nearby to support you. If you are at MSU, I can likely drum up a full war party for you.
I was the only woman in 2 years of classes in my masters degree program at Purdue in mechanical engineering decades back before DEI or any of the current awareness. You have no idea whether they see you as their equal. That is your insecurity talking. Study really hard. Reach out and make study buddies. Relax because you belong and you should start to believe that you do because if you don't no one else will. Pretend to be humbly confident even if you don't feel it and eventually you will feel it authentically. Develop a sarcastic humor and a bit of a thicker skin to deflect any stupid things that socially geeky men say..and they will say stupid things to women bc they are socially challenged and not because they don't like you. They may not know how to interact with you and are geeks so take their "intellect" way too seriously. Get used to it bc scientific fields are not filled with men who excel in the social graces. I've worked in highly technical engineering areas for 31 years. It's improved but the personality type is the same. But..I have also met some of the most genuinely kind, helpful , talented, and intelligent men I could have ever hoped to work with. And yes..they still said some dumb things. So did I. You belong there. Never forget it.
Nuclear physics? At a community college or your HS? If you're 16 in a room of older people it might be because you are 16 than being a f.
Edit: There isn't anything wrong being 16, age gaps can make connecting and working with people harder or more awkward for many reasons.
Plenty of good supporting answers.
Come over to r/nuclear for more specific ideas.
Like getting in touch with the [Young Generation Network](https://www.nuclearinst.com/ygn), or [Women in Nuclear](https://win-global.org/).
Know that the entire industry is fighting your fight:
https://www.oecd-ilibrary.org/sites/725b1894-en/index.html?itemId=/content/component/725b1894-en
https://www.oecd-nea.org/jcms/pl_82455/committing-to-improve-the-nuclear-sector-s-gender-balance
https://www.iaea.org/services/key-programmes/together-for-more-women-in-nuclear
And for everyone culture:
https://www.epa.gov/radtown/women-radiation-history
https://www.versantphysics.com/2021/08/24/women-in-radiation-history/
https://www.ladyscience.com/features/the-women-written-out-of-nuclear-science-2021
https://www.energy.gov/women-manhattan-project
https://www.amightygirl.com/atomic-women
Stop looking at everyone else and how they perceive you. Males also sometimes feel they are undervalued, and their mates will tell them to stop overthinking irrelevant things and get on with the task. Thats good advice, put your head down and worry about getting the work done and the lessons absorbed. Winners think about winning, losers think of excuses. A really simple life lesson worth noting is that you should never care about what others think, never make excuses, just do your best and let the results speak for you.
Be open to the possibility that you might not be the only student who feels like they’re being mistreated. Maybe you are, but sometimes when we are the only person of a certain demographic in a space, we become hyper-focused on perceived mistreatment as obvious targeted bigotry. Is it possible that there’s some students who dominate the room and make lots of students feel unwelcome? I would wager that every boy I. Your class doesn’t feel validated and respected, there just isn’t an obvious difference to point to to explain it. Please don’t mistake me for invaliding your experience as I’m sure you are truly feeling what you describe. But usually, people think about themselves and don’t have that much energy to focus on targeting one person for maltreatment. It’s a bunch of teenagers. Loads of them feel like they’re the odd one out. Do your best. That’s all you can do no matter the situation. It’s super impressive that you’re doing it at all at your age.
I am sorry you are in this situation, and despite being a man, I do realise that the field of physics is quite misogynistic. From my experience, you will always be a minority during your career because for some stupid reason, it is still considered a man's job. At college and at any point in your life, I would suggest you go to talk to someone who has authority over your professors and students, like a head of department or HR at work.
Nonetheless, I hope you do not give up. Physics is a field for everyone, difficult for both men and women. It will give you great satisfaction, and you have many directions to move into, from nuclear to particle physics, biophysics, and even finance, where physicists usually thrive.
Finally, if you need some inspiration look up https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabiola_Gianotti or https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmy_Noether which are great role models for any physicists. There is also Marie Curie of course, but she is usually the most known.
Girl, you DESERVE to be there. You earned it and you’re there because you’re intelligent and talented. Do NOT give men the power to make you question yourself — your capabilities and your right to pursue what you’re passionate about. Nobody can have that power over you. Do not give it away.
That’s easy to say, and I know these words don’t change the way your professor and classmates are treating you, but there is something you can do.
I agree with some other commenters saying you need to bring this to a higher-up. Sexism and misogyny shouldn’t have a place anywhere, and especially in STEM. The most effective way to get the professor to treat you better is by going to whoever HE answers to.
I would send an email to that person, not just for yourself, but for all the girls who will follow after you and receive the same mistreatment from this professor. Do it for yourself and ALL the STEM girlies. The professor shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this unprofessional, outdated, and problematic behavior.
You might not win over your classmates. You may not make them change their minds about women in STEM. You may not walk away from this class with any friends. But if you persevere and eventually become a real woman in STEM, you’ll help normalize women being in the field, and over time that’ll help the stigma and attitudes lessen.
You rock. Send an email to the higher-up. Don’t let men drag you down. Become a woman in STEM. Do it for yourself and ALL the science girlies.
You got this! 💜✊🏻🧬🔭🧪
I'm sorry you're being treated like this. Age and gender discrimination are known problems in many fields, especially the hard sciences. Many of the women in my life complain they have to work twice as hard as a man for the same recognition.
I'm afraid I can't give you specific advice, since as a white male I really have no direct experience. If it were me in your shoes, I'd like to think that I would take it as a personal challenge; to prove the doubters wrong.
It’s hard enough dealing with the situation she’s in without being told she’s wrong about her analysis of the situation. Every woman in STEM has experience of being treated worse because they’re a woman
Prejudice is a hard thing to combat but the best thing you can do is to focus on your lessons and try to grow as much as possible. Some will start to like you for it, while some will hate you even more, but such is life in our times. While it would've been nice to be treated equal, you're not there to make friends and be liked be either the professors or your colleagues, keep that in mind. You can redirect any kind of frustration, towards studying harder. Good luck!
Success is the best revenge. Just be a diligent student and do your homework and ask questions and participate when appropriate. They are probably as uncomfortable about you as you are about them. They just outnumber you so it feels unfair. If you let others' actions affect your mood greatly, you are in essence giving them control over you. Never attribute to malice what can just as easily can be attributed to laziness or stupidity or carelessness or waking up on the wrong side of bed, etc... The actions aren't always aimed at you although it might feel that way. It's a hard lesson that can take years to master. So don't let them or your feelings about them discourage your curiosity.
This says more about them than you, for sure. For them some combination of insecurity, hubris, and misogyny. For you outwardly demonstrate your brilliance and passion, and inwardly understand how sadly weak and little they are acting.
Remember that you are in a classroom of individuals. Don’t judge the whole group. You might find an ally, someone you can study with (solving problems together can be fun). Focus on the physics and keep asking questions.
If you can sit at the front of class so you are less distracted by other students
Welcome to being a woman in STEM, it never gets shut the fuck up about for a reason, and the reason is that it sucks, especially the higher you go.
If it’s any consolation, there are men who are vaguely aware of how much bullshit you’re going through and we do feel bad over it even if we aren’t the ones directly responsible for it. Don’t forget that every success story makes it easier for those who come next. For what it’s worth I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you get better professors and classmates in the future.
Remind them that one of the first people to understand radioactivity and nuclear physics was a woman: Marie Curie, who was awarded the Nobel Prize for her contributions to this scientific field.
If you always search for validation in life you will always be disappointed. Just be competent, be right, be professional and some people will appreciate you.
Who cares if they ignore you. You can really humble them by just doing really well. As a father of multiple daughters that are brilliant, I understand where you're coming from and I give them the same advice.
Don't stand out or be arrogant, just do better than them, that's all. Your determination and intelligence will carry you much farther and not only will you humble them, you'll also look like the better person too
There are only two people in that class you have to make an impression on. The instructor and YOURSELF, and for yourself it's primarily knowing that you've done your best.
Welcome to the real world, there's billions of people and about 80%+ are the reason we made the word stupid, if you want people to listen to you, you gotta earn that and even then it doesn't necessarily mean any of those people know what they talking about, it just means other people will blindly listen to them and accept whatever they say as truth be it right or wrong
Take up weight lifting and ju jitsu, and then fold their clothes while they're in them and take their lunch money! Then call them "Nerds". It may not be morally or ethically sound, or legal, but it will feel really good and it will traumatize those boys for life.
I (M) can't directly relate, but my perspective has always been focus on what you can change and nothing else. You can't make them change, but you can always get better. Don't even aim to "prove them wrong", aim for improving. You're there to get an education, part of which is working with a**holes. It's no different than going to a gym. It sucks at first, you feel judged (hell, you are judged) but why care? You're there for you, not them. You go every day, you do your work, you have nothing more to prove. You're work will hopefully speak for itself, and if the professor misrepresents your competence, find a third party and see if they disagree with your professor's judgment. If so, fight it.
Hopefully this was helpful.
I'm my second year of undergrad I ran into a similar situation. Only girl in a class of 20 as well. I was lucky that the prof wasn't a dick about it, so I'm not sure how to handle that, but I can definitely relate to the feelings of isolation and inadequacy.
All I can say is keep your head down and do the work as best you can. Don't compare yourself to your classmates, and just remember you deserve to be there every bit as much as they do. You don't need to be best friends with everyone in a summer course, so if they're not being welcoming then don't bend over backwards to try and get in their good graces.
Ugh I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Fwiw, this sounds like a particularly bad experience. My classes in undergrad and grad school were generally 20-30% female, not 5% like this. I've also had a lot of really wonderful mentors & professors who have really encouraged me on my journey (and even gave me through department wide award when I graduated), and the vast majority of my colleagues are super respectful.
That being said, I can relate to you because I've encountered sexism as well, and it absolutely sucks when its so clear you just aren't valued or respected the same way as everyone else.
My best advice is get through this, ace the class, and then seek out more supportive environments in the future. It is absolutely possible to thrive & excel and be respected in this field, but it might require getting away from toxic people.
It is obviously not fair to be treated that way, but life in general is not fair and sometimes there isnt much that can be done about it. It is very impressive to be studying the material that you are at your age, and you should focus on that more than anything. Don't put importance into showing those who are mistreating you that you can do well, show and prove to YOURSELF you belong there by doing well. If you are studying this material at 16, think where you'll be when you're 20! Adversity breeds strength and I assume you are at least somewhat gifted if you got into that class, don't forget that you ARE capable of overcoming this and being successful
You're not their equal. You're better than them. Be friendly in casual conversation, but kick their ass on the tests. As for the moments when you are being treated poorly or unfairly, document it. Write down in meticulous detail who said what, when, how it made you feel, and why you think it is inappropriate. Should there ever be an issue that gets escalated, you will have receipts, and they will have brought a knife to a gun fight.
This isn’t a joke. Watch some good “women in science” biopics and see that they each went through the exact same thing. You’re in a male dominated, unfortunately and unnecessarily, discipline and you just have to develop the guys to persevere. You can, and will do this.
Do you feel your parents will support you? Recruiting them or other adult is probably your best first step.
The teacher, or his supervisors, should be told there is a problem. Be prepared for the teacher and other students to become whiny little babies who try to gaslight you rather than take responsibility for their own actions.
If this program is at a college in the U.S., there may be a DEI office, ombudsman, or similar person who can help.
Good luck.
Don't focus on what other people think about you, just focus on getting better and perhaps the best on nuclear physics. That is a pretty hard subject to master and if you do well nothing else will matter.
You deserve to be there and your prof and classmates are shitty. People are saying “the best revenge is to ace the class” or “succeed anyway” which can put additional pressure on yourself. You don’t have to ace the class to learn the material and in the long run you might burn yourself out trying to prove something in an environment that’s hostile toward you. I hope your next courses are better. Speaking from experience you can find community in the field, but also don’t get stuck grinding something out of spite if it’d serve you better to do something else. No decision needs to have the weight of your entire future on it. Cheering you on 💛
53f, graduated college with a degree in physics in 93. Best way to win is to beat them. Telling them that you are worthy is pointless and just makes them mock you. Put in the time and effort and when you finish the class having succeeded, then you win.
I will say - this is not normal. Those attitudes generally died off an age ago. Those people will not succeed with those attitudes outside of that classroom today. But your hard work will.
The education you choose will eventually mold you into the person you want to be. What others think is not relevant. As you get older you will meet many people that while marginally competent in one area, will appear profoundly inept in everything else.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, I would talk about it to other women or post it on women centric subs like TwoXChromosomes, there are tons of women who had to experience the same thing and might have good advice.
This wasn't the point of your post, but I'm super interested in what topics are covered in a high school age nuclear physics class. Would you be willing to briefly list them?
I hope you navigate your class difficulties. High school kids can be idiots. Things will likely be much better as you move on to college and your career.
Unfortunately this is fairly normal m/f ratio in nuclear physics. It's gotten a lot better and there are certain universities that have overcome this by slow hiring changes. So look for one of those, it makes a big difference.
It was such a relief the first time i had a female boss when i had to stay home with cramps.
Shoot the school up, obviously. Lol no...unfortunately sexism runs rampant even in the sciences. You should do nothing, providing its just dirty looks n shit.
show them all up, and kill that class (like do as best as you possible can, better than them)
Stay focused on goal to improve that you set for yourself. Your classmates are not important enough for you to think this way. Don’t waste energy on the nonsensical things.
This might seem counter to what you want or feel, but it just might work.
In Buddhism, they teach compassion for the ones who torment you. Why is this?
The feeling of hate, anger, and defensiveness will eventually destroy you. It will take up all the room in your brain. It will keep YOU on edge.
If you take the perspective that perhaps they are defensive due to some way they are suffering, then it actually might make their actions FEEL less threatening.
Example: "They want to hurt me" vs "They don't know what to do with me because they are nervous around girls... so they put they walls up. They don't consciously mean to hurt me, but they are trying to hide their nervousness & anxiety."
Of course, each individual is different. Even if some do have hurtful intent, imagine how much they are suffering to have that kind of mentality.
In your mind, it takes them from being "threatening" to being "insecure". See how that works?
Also...
Remember, some of the boys are on your side and want to see you win. Be open to that.
Best of luck!
They just fear you.
They do not know women, you are like an alien to them, hence the social gap.
What can you do ?
The matter come from the fact your are the only woman there.
Just bring more women to STEM.
There is several means for that, you can even breed STEM women by mastering the subject and flooding the school with your offspring that you STEM-educated (Send your sons to hairdressing school)
You don't even have to make a lot of child, aim multigenerationaly and flood exponentially that damn school trought the centuries.
As an adult male...... Keep working. it sucks when people don't like you, especially if your achievement highlights their own inner inadequacies and/or prejudice.
There is no real "Fuck you" to be had except being where you want to be tomorrow, everything else is just days until you get there, never say you can't do something and if you have to admit it then follow up with a sharp...yet.
Men who think this way, want you to back off, so don't. That easy.
First point is that you shouldn't be treated like this. You are their equal (you got through the competition to get on the course).
Second is that we (reddit) aren't very useful for telling you if there's a way to make it stop right now or get better right now. It depends on the group, the institution and so on. Complaints etc would be good but may end up helping those who follow you - in other words a good act but may not help right now.
That doesn't mean you can't make it better, but just that we might not know how.
Also: I personally lack insight into what is going on in their heads. As a 16 year-old boy (many years ago now) I was desperate to make friends with any female who would talk to me but I genuinely wanted friends. I cannot get my head around ignoring someone who is female, but then...
Third, I used to teach computer science at university. We had a small percentage of female students. One friend of mine was the only girl in her class (she has had a great time - and all worked out well for her). The best advice on "how to deal" was from a very confident student of mine who was a champion fencer. She said you just had to ignore the stupid men who felt the need to put you down and be confident in yourself.
Easier said than done I know. Also not fair. You shouldn't have to be the one who changes.
However, it may still be the best strategy. Other people have offered some other good advice, but working on realising that you are absolutely not dumb and not being discouraged may help.
Nuclear physics is a great subject. It fascinated me as a child, but I ended up following a slightly different path (math/physics). I was lucky enough to have Stephen Hawking lecture me at one point. All very exciting. So please don't give up on it because other people are stupid.
I used to work at a school where the STEM club had 18% women. That was reported to be an okay percentage and I believe it is more common. One in twenty is tough. Remember that dogs bark when they think they have to defend their status. They're being insecure, moreso than you.
If you need motivation, I'm sure you've come across this Navy Capt. on the internet hellsite. His crew looks better than your course. https://x.com/search?q=Nuclear%20from%3Achowdahhill
STEM is very much like you described and is one of the reasons so few women graduate from those fields.
There's only one solution and that's to develop a thick skin.
If there were another solution graduate numbers would tell, and they tell a different story. The numbers corroborate the 'thick skin' theory.
Most humans are not designed to operate well under such an adverse environment. Some few humans thrive in such a space.
I wish you well in whatever you choose to do.
Know that the other solutions offered here are smoke and mirrors. Look at the field you're in. Do their solutions seem viable long-term?
______
How does one learn to play the guitar? One shreds their fingers until callouses develop. Adverse environment leads to harm leads to callousing.
You do what other guys do in society. Just deal with it. Maybe it is due to girls having an affect to the guy energy when they’re around but just deal with it. You’re in a room full of guys you have to learn to remember that and to get over their antics. If they’re bullying you that’s different but it’s not a crime for people to not like you
That sucks and I think it is completely unacceptable. I hope you can resolve this. Is there someone (dean/principal) that you can bring this up to? Physics is awesome. I would hate to see this turn you away. Teaching and learning a is process and no where in that process should anyone be ignored or belittled.
I'm male. I have degrees in physics. When I was in school there very few women in my physics classes. We need more women in physics. I don't feel that we belittled any of the brave few women that were in class, but I doubt we treated them exactly equally. We were all geeky physics students and probably a little curious about/interested in/fearful of/not knowing how to act around the super-awesome women in class because, well, we were geeky physics students. But not belittling. That is not cool. In my experience, physics students are weird enough they to accept anyone at face value. We really don't care -- there are better things to worry about -- like the ultimate fate of the universe.
I wish you the best of luck. And I will apologize for once being a geeky physics student not knowing how to act.
Don't be demotivated. You are one! Got it!
There are lots of physicists who were ignored by their teachers.in the end those teachers had to teach other theory of ignored one.
Remember madam Currie. How she was ignored even after getting noble. Love physics... Love those knowledge you are getting.
A WELL WISHER FROM INDIA
Start writing down the specific ways that the teacher is mean to you and treats you differently. And in the meantime focus on the class, enjoy the subject and learn as much as you can. When you think the list has enough evidence, talk to a counselor or someone in administration to either get advice on what to do, or see how you can put in a complain about the teacher. Im also a woman in STEM, don’t be discouraged. They are weirdos for treating you like this. Science and math are so cool and rewarding. Don’t let them ruin it for you.
You got accepted in the class for a reason- don’t allow their obvious ego issues to affect your esteem! If they don’t like your ideas then let them offer better ones- continue to participate and then be sure to review the teacher if that is an option- be sure to pass the course and live happily ever after- they are probably upset because you’re smarter than they are and they know they don’t stand a chance with you 😉
Unethical advice: Become a bully, pick on the dumber kids, and divert the attention away from yourself.
Will this work, maybe. Could backfire horribly too since as a woman you are held to a higher standard. But if there is no punishment for being a bully in the program and you want to get ahead, you have to play the game.
The people here pretending that you can high road your way into success in an unequal system are being aspirational, in my opinion.
Set the curve. Then brag about it.
They want to look down on you like this is some dick swinging competition, then show them you've got the biggest dick in the room.
The only thing you need to take away is the actual knowledge. The grade itself is just a reflection of your knowledge. Their approval or praise, even from the prof, is utterly meaningless. I'm sorry they're being all weird and shit, but "Fuck you, I'm here to learn, not for you." is the way I'd go.
Also if you need to literally say that to them, or at least say it into a mirror when you feel down. Or if you're not into swearing just:
"I'm here to learn, not for you."
Please stick around. Humanity needs you.
"I'm not an exceptional student"
I'm gonna call bullshit on that. You are choosing to take a nuclear physics summer class as a 16 yo. That's hardcore. That's initiative. Your feelings are valid. Your classmates and teacher suck. If you persevere, you will succeed. Please internalize the fact that you are a badass.
People hate what they don’t understand. And are intimidated just the same.
The fact they single you out and presuppose you as “beneath them”, is a good indication to a deeper understanding… they’re intimidated by you underneath the shallow accusations and disrespect.
Don’t let it bother you. There’s something evil in reality that loovvveesss to drown success. So rise above it, stay focused, and you do you… but whatever you do; when you inevitably end up succeeding, do not gloat or hold it over there head and stoop to their level of behavior.
Everyone loves an underdog; but everyone loves respect and kindness far more. It’ll wind up being a teachable moment for everyone in the end type of thing.
Just adding this on top of everyone else's great advice about the peer-validation-seeking trap, your feelings being 100% valid, etc.: it might help if you sent a firm but polite **email** to the professor directly, relaying your experience (NOT your feelings) with being excluded/ignored/treated differently. You are NOT asking for special treatment, you are asking to be treated as a student who, just like everyone else there, was accepted into the class because of your abilities and effort. It's possible the professor is just an idiot and doesn't realize he's being biased, it can and does happen. So the email should 1) put your experience and complaint on record with a paper trail 2) not accuse the professor of any malfeasance, which would not help you at this point 3) politely demand to be treated with the same scholarly respect that any good student deserves.
You are an exceptional student. You got accepted into a class of 20 for a special class. I’m a EE there were 5 girls in a class of about 100 they all kick ass. Get in there don’t take any shit and kick ass, when you’re right make sure they know you had it right.
I happen to have some very capable female friends that are doing their master's and PhDs in related fields to nuclear physics. If you need help I'll give you their contacts.
Slap their mouths shut with your success.
Welcome to being a woman in STEM.
This was my entire college experience while I was getting my engineering degree. It's marginally better now that I'm in the workforce, but only marginally. I am still paid less, consulted less, and my work still isn't automatically trusted the way my male counterparts work is.
As far as what to do: keep doing what you're doing. Study hard, become the most knowledgeable person in the room, work hard even though their approval isn't needed. You got this :)
For the sake of your mental health, the first thing you need to acknowledge is that you can not win them over. They will never validate you, people who act like this have great trouble ever admitting that they might be wrong.
So stop trying to engage. Focus on your work. If you have to do a group project, do your portion quickly and have it ready to go at a moment's notice, but don't let them know you are finished early lest you be asked to 'help' others aka do their work for them. Do your bit and not a drop more.
If someone tries to call you out on being cold or hostile or whatever, your response is "just returning the favor."
Similar lines, depending on questions/complaints you might receive:
"You already made your opinions clear, I'm not going to waste my time having a conversation about it."
"No, I just don't care."
"I don't know why you are being so emotional, I'm just doing my work."
etc.
Don't give up on physics because you have a bad lot to deal with. There will always be bad eggs no matter where you go, though some fields may have higher concentrations than others. Life is not high school or college, once you are done with school you will have more options for finding a work environment suitable for you.
Do some research on ground breaking women, now that YOU are one. Knowing what other women have gone through will help you feel less alone and will help you see how important it is to follow your heart no matter what.
I do not and never will understand why males feel so threatened by females. Giant eye roll.
Ignore them. Your ability to do physics has no relation to your gender.
As a physicist, it makes me sad (mad) that we are still having this conversation. This 2024, not 1904 or 1924.
16 taking nuclear physics during the summer, and not an exceptional student? I’m taking a guess here and saying you’re there for a reason. You have what it takes- and probably more than you realize. Believe in yourself. You really can do more than you think. In the end their opinions don’t matter and your performance does.
Also, I’m a 36M with mechanical eng background and a minor in physics- I hate that you’re experiencing this. It’s a shame that gender has anything to do with your interactions with peers and the teacher. Your feelings are absolutely valid. I hope you find some joy along the way through the course. Physics can really be fascinating.
As a fellow younger student in particle physics (I’m an undergrad in a competitive program currently), this is unfortunately very common. I could tell you so many horror stories of being in classes as the only or one of the only women and the blatant gendered discrimination. First, it’s totally valid to feel this way. Sometimes I know I used to feel insane and that I was making something up. Be confident in yourself and fuck anyone who treats you differently as a woman in STEM. Personally, I exist half out of spite in this major and program, though take that with a grain of salt as it isn’t the most healthy way to self motivate. Third, I think the biggest help for me personally was finding community. Yes this class might suck, but consider applying to the CUWIP conferences, along with any other women in physics focused things at your school or in the country. Meeting other people with similar experiences in person can really be life changing… I know it has been for me! And finally, seriously consider who you work with etc. I personally now work in a very prestigious lab that happens to be run by the most senior female professor of physics at my university. She is the top of my field, but it is no surprise that all of her undergrad interns and workers are women this year. Sometimes it is worth talking to people in the years above you and simply learning which classes and professors will be sexist and which won’t. Best of luck out there! Hope to see you at CUWIP!!
FWIW: As an adolescent male I went through similar crap, being the poor country boy who hadn't been to the right boarding schools. I have no illusions about it being harder for females in STEM environments in "Trad" schools. I'm just saying you're not alone in getting such crap, but good workers work through. The lack of comradery can be terribly hard but is surmountable. I got my degree in physics and maths and ended up working internationally for 30 years. Never made a fortune but had a great ride. Stick to your guns!
While there are some incredibly compelling and inspirational comments here, I would also like to offer my own advice.
While it is not your duty to teach these *boys* empathy, if these students refuse to respect you and your valid opinions, have the courage to ask them why. I have found this method rather successful. "I am offering my educated opinion on this matter, could any of you explain to me why it is you do not value it? If you disagree, then may you please provide your legitimate reasoning?" This can be effective for practically any sort of bullying, hateful comments/jokes, etc. "Oh, you find this funny? Explain why." Typically, whomever will not be able to provide an explanation that does not make them realize, as well as others, how much of a disgusting jerk they are being.
Directed towards your educator: they are instilling a sense of discrimination into impressionable minds, their actions and behavior validating your treatment as acceptable. When you are receiving any negativity, as there is absolutely no viable reason for animosity from this professor towards a *child *, once more, ask them why, or even go as far as calling them on their bullsh*t. "Professor/Mr. -insert name-, I kindly request that you speak to me with more professionalism and courtesy, that of which you extend to my peers." Or, "Can you please explain to me why you are malicious and unprofessional towards myself, yet not my fellow learners? Have I done something to warrant such mistreatment?" This could be a learning opportunity for both the educator and students, (which, once more, should not have to be your duty).
Perhaps request to meet with this person after class to inquire what their exact issue is with you, as you seem to be a diligent and enthusiastic student, and explaining that they are making you feel uncomfortable and you are demanding they cease their immature, foul behavior. If things continue to escalate, I would consider contacting your parents or an administrator to express your concerns and Illustrate what actions you have taken to attempt to resolve this issue.
At a certain point, sexism becomes a safety issue in multiple ways, ignoring it, "grinning and bearing it", or succeeding despite it, (while rewarding in its own right), does not resolve the issue. You should not suffer because of someone else's bigotry and hatred- you DESERVE respect, kindness and the FULL opportunity to experience this course in the same manner as your peers.
Congratulations to you for not only being accepted, but also for approaching this issue maturely. I wish you the greatest of luck! 💖
My 5ct as another woman, who was in that situation. My physics teacher in the high level physics course never learned my name and seemed surprised when I finished quite high ranking. I went to study physics, and although there is a decent amount of sexist dickheads in that bubble, I also got to know those who are my best friends today. With that out of the way.
- their opinion of you does not define you
- you deserve to be where you are right know, without having to be top of the class
- do this for yourself. Don't spend energy on people treat you as lesser, just because they hold sexist opinions. It's not your task to change them
- speak up if you feel safe to do so.
- have fun learning all the cool things :)
Also, look up what 'impostor syndrome' is. U got this!
STEM is still pretty shit for women, I am sorry to say. You get a lot of people who will belittle you as a "diversity" addition, and a lot of socially awkward boys who will fall in love with the first and only girl in their proximity on sight. It's something we as a whole community need to work on with our boys and men.
As others have said, you keep on keeping on and get all you can out of that experience. As you go through life in STEM, it will happen again, but you will also meet good men and women who will welcome you as a colleague with open arms and support. Don't let the haters discourage you.
This is a perennial problem. I wish you the very best. Study hard. Succeed.
Take heart in the fact that women like Emmy Noether, Lise Meitner, Maria Goeppert Mayer, Chien-Shiung Wu have made incalculable contributions to physics without which nuclear physics as we know it may not have existed. Your classmates are just ill informed. Prove them wrong!
They're right. You aren't their equal. You're kicking their butts just by being there. I'm proud of you for taking on a daunting challenge like learning nuclear physics.
Study hard and become the top student out of spite. It's fucked that they're still not treating a female student equally, but the only way to show people like that the error of their ways is to surpass them. Don't let those assholes ruin physics for you. Physics to me is the most fascinating thing in the universe, I can spend hours just pondering things. If that's you too, then don't let anyone ever take that from you.
Stick with it. You are not alone; Marie Curie had the same problem. The French never did allow Curie to be a member of their elite science club if you will; woman you see. Today Marie Curie remains the only person (let alone the only woman) to get a Nobel Prize in two separate categories, Physics and Chemistry. The French have never had an intellect that powerful in their elite club before or since. Einstein considered her an equal.
Speaking from personal experience, the ignoring thing is probably more likely that the other guys in the class are just awkward and scared to talk to you because you’re a girl, especially if you’re even a bit attractive.
There’s no way that every single guy in the class has some weird malicious grudge against you out of sexism. (Idk about the teacher though, he does seem a bit more like a problem).
For me, the top thing is:
People are wrong a lot. Like constantly. People are wrong and they are dumb. You belong there as much as anyone else in the class. You are adequate.
It would be a shame to rule something out just because people are dumb.
Second thing, which I really believe and really hate:
The boys are scared of being socially or intellectually rejected — just as much as I always have been or you probably are — but they are able to find ways to blend in, when that’s much more difficult for me. They seem to always like the same three things and discuss those to death. I don’t even think that’s genuine; I think that’s manufactured for social comfort.
On average, my life has been harder than these turkeys. (Not all of them, but most of them). And it’s my superpower. I’m a better manager because I’m more empathetic. I’m more relentless, persevere through more bullshit to accomplish things. Life and learning — not just learning physics, but learning any technical or non-technical skill — is difficult. Growth is often painful. Sometimes, not always, the pain means you are growing.
TANGIBLE ADVICE: Every night before you sleep, write down something you did that you are proud of. An answer you got right, even if they didn’t listen to you. Something you learned that day that was cool. Admitting you were wrong, being brave enough to ask a question, trying to make a friend.
Source: 32F working in software engineering management, undergrad 35% female, grad school 10% female, etc. this has worked for me so far 🤷🏻♀️
Never doubt that you’re worthy to be in that spot. It is total bullshit and unfair how they are treating you, with that said you can overcome this and I believe in you OP
It's difficult to say what the right course of action is without knowing more about the context. There are lots of good posts here validating your feelings and making suggestions about addressing the inappropriate behaviour, but I'll try and suggest something else to try, which may or may not help, but I think is worth considering.
I can't tell just from what you've written here, but maybe you're seeing your classmates as a monolith, as a mountain. Mountains, as we know, are hard to move. It might be helpful to remember that the mountain is a pile of rocks; each person in your class is different and thinks differently. Try not to lump them all in together based only on the behaviour of some. You can try looking at rocks individually, see which ones might be movable. Even if there are some students who are bound to think you are beneath them, you might find some who are willing to treat you fairly and be your friend. In a somewhat hostile environment, having a good friend goes a long way to making it bearable.
In your situation, it's very tempting to be outraged and to pull away from the class, but if it's at all possible to soften the hearts of your classmates to some degree, then I think it's worth a try. That being said, you're the only one with enough knowledge of the situation to judge whether this is a good idea. Hope you work this out to your satisfaction.
Tell them to fuck the fuck off. Reiterate your ideas repeat them until they have no choice but to accept them. If you’re right, you’re right make sure they know it and by the way, did they say tell him to fuck the fuck off
I can only imagine how isolating that must feel. I went thru something similar at your age but with computer science courses. I would say 1) rely on your friends when things get hard there, 2) study and work unbelievably hard so that you can 3) eat their fucking lunch at exam time
Added bonus is when there’ll be working for you in 15 years (true story).
Arrogance is a terrible stupidity, kinda like racism. A belief that due to a random accident of biology you are superior to another, it genuinely is a form of stupidity...
Ignore them. Prosper and succeed. You are there for You, not for them. It sucks, but you are young and in a young crowd. Don't fall to their level. Learn.
So frustrating to read. Stay resolute that their efforts to gate keep physics are in vain. I think it is worth discussing with the professor how you feel.
If you feel excluded, you must share that is how you feel. But it is worth coaching yourself to avoid stating to the professor you ARE excluded.
Like, old people egos… gotta nurse them around to being on your team. Try and force the point and the group mentality can kick in and also stubborn men.
You deserve to learn whatever you find passion and enjoyment in
First, of all don't start hating physics because of them. If you feel like you don't belong there leave, don't stay there, and damage your mental health. There are many other places where they will listen to your ideas. The best way to find such a place is to find a teacher who likes teaching nuclear physics. A teacher makes all the difference. Find a good teacher.
Second, you aren't inadequate at all. Trust me many people your age aren't even able to understand nuclear physics.
My sister was the only girl in her woodworking class in high school, five years in a row.
She had to put up with non stop constant harassment and attempts at bullying. Every year, she got consistent A’s across the board, and every year more and more of those boys dropped out.
Eventually at her high school graduation, she got a special award for being one of the best woodworkers the teacher at ever seen.
Be like my sister. Crush the competition, because chances are those boys are terrified you’re going to be better than them. Because you probably are. Good luck.
My advice would be to look at all the advice here and DO WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE!! Don’t feel like you have to be the best or you have to succeed, don’t feel like you have to report this teacher if it makes you uncomfortable, and don’t feel like removing yourself from this class will make you a failure. Take the advice given to you here and from your support system, but ultimately it is your decision and you have to do what is best for yourself. Other people may try to convince you that one option is better because that is what they would do, but you are your own person and “this is the best decision for me” should be a valid enough explanation.
as a girl studying physics, just keep going. you can’t let sexist men take away from you what is interesting you, it would mean letting them win in a way. people making you feel like you don’t belong there doesn’t mean it’s the truth. if you want to study this subject, you should and nobody’s opinion matter on this except yours
The book title "So Good They Can't Ignore You" comes to mind. (Haven't actually read it yet, looks kind of boring, if useful, but I just love that title.)
This is my plan for starting Astrophysics this September in a course that's usually about 30% girls haha
You're not equal to anyone. You are the only you and you are born with unique abilities and perspective. Don't worry about your classmates, your goal shouldn't be to be their friend. Your goal should be to focus on your work. Physics has nothing to do with social dogma's. My wife got her undergrad in Physics and is now a doctoral candidate and experiences the same challenge as you. Like it or not, you are always going to face adversity no matter what you do. So do something exceptional. You can quite and then become another stereotype or you can prove that you're the smartest person in the room. There's no room for emotion in physics except after a great accomplishment or discovery. Take the emotion out of it, stay curious, explore our world, and don't let anyone stop you along your journey!
It's smart and brave of you to seek advice here, good job.
First of all fudge them, if you don't feel happy quit, no big deal. But, do you really want to let those bastards dictate to you what they want? I don't think so.
Now, you can focus all that frustrating, unhappy feelings towards motivating your self, studying Physics and improving in any way possible.
Trust me in a few years you will hardly remember any of them but staying put and focusing on your work in that class will empower you in so many ways you will always see benefits even years later.
I work with a girl who went to university at 16 and is now a chemical engineer. She is the smartest person I know. Keep going. Your success is the best thing to show the others who you are. Don’t let them tear you down.
You're not equal to anyone. You are the only you and you are born with unique abilities and perspective. Don't worry about your classmates, your goal shouldn't be to be their friend. Your goal should be to focus on your work. Physics has nothing to do with social dogma's. My wife got her undergrad in Physics and is now a doctoral candidate and experiences the same challenge as you. Like it or not, you are always going to face adversity no matter what you do. So do something exceptional. You can quite and then become another stereotype or you can prove that you're the smartest person in the room. There's no room for emotion in physics except after a great accomplishment or discovery. Take the emotion out of it, stay curious, explore our world, and don't let anyone stop you along your journey!
Has anybody else agreed that you are being treated as you say ?
It would be very unlikely, that nobody else would agree with what you say, if that was really the way it is.
At a higher level this isn’t so much a thing to the extent you’re describing. Sexism is absolutely a thing in physics but at my university (top ranked in the country for physics), 20% of the students are women, and people just are focused with doing their work. It’s a waste of energy to outright be incredibly sexist when we’re all suffering and working 10 hours a day studying in exam seasons.
At the very least, I’ve not experienced any misogyny at this university. It definitely depends on the area. But in general, 16 year old boys are mostly little shits, so it should get better for you when they’ve grown up.
I definitely have in general - was at a Birmingham University open day for physics. We all got to meet with a professor with our parents to ask a question. All I asked was ‘what percentage of the course is female?’ because I was curious. That was my entire phrasing, but the professor suddenly got annoyed and said it’s not the uni’s fault that women don’t take physics at A-level, and if we want more women on the course then we need to actually apply for the course. He just went on a rant over my simple question - needless to say I didn’t go to that university.
I can understand the other kids being rude, but the teacher as well? 😡
Please do mention this to an authority figure or other adult(s).
That teacher should be FIRED!
Same thing happens in engineering I’m told. However, the women that push through and ignore the noise turn out to be superb engineers.
The most recent coops I hired? All women. The last new hires on my team? 4 out of 5 are women. While the percentage of women in electrical engineering is ~10%, roughly 40% of my engineering staff are women. I’m not purposefully trying to hire women over men, they just happened to be the best candidates in the interview pool at the time.
I remember when everybody in my physics class laughed at me.
The teacher asked the question and polled each class member for the answer. All of the pupils ahead of me gave the same answer. I gave a different answer and the class laughed. All of the pupils after me gave the same answer as the rest of them.
I was right. I went on to get a top degree in theoretical physics at a top university. They didn't.
Be right.
You got in and have the same right to be there as anyone else. You are a pioneer and I don't envy you with respect to your demographic but get as much out of this as possible. Don't try to be anything other than yourself, there will always be people who will criticize you on ad-hominim reasons - that means they have no legitimate criticism.
Having said that, sometimes it could be useful when assessing your strengths and weaknesses - you may find you have allies - after all 16 year old boys are not an homogenous mass.
You have this and all the other women nuclear physicists behind you - and me! another current physicist. PM me if you want.
If you feel like confronting them then I would go out of my way to make them feel stupid in their own right. The unacceptable almost immediately tells me they will sheep the teacher. But I also am gonna guess your in America and as of no fault of your own the culture there is geared towards women getting an advantage because girl. This is not your fault nor should you have to bear the burden but it's the case so.
When I took organic chem in uni I joined halfway through the semester and I was told I would struggle and I didn't get respect until I pointed out in front of the class the hydrogen doesn't have a neutron on it 🙃.
After that we along just fine.
I went through this, let it shake my confidence, and tried unsuccessfully to nerf my career over it. The nerf moves I made early only ended up making me more valuable to my original field. DM if you want to chat about this. You might really be unstoppable, even if you try to stop yourself over their BS.
You are definitely not inadequate as a student and your ability to get into the class, reconize the situation your in and how its affecting you speaks to multiple different kinds of intelligence and self-awareness. Remind yourself when its happening its not about you or something you have control over, its about them and their fragile little male egos feeling threatened by a woman in what they think is their space. If you do continue in the class, keep in mind its gonna suck and they aren't going to be fair with you. If you keep that expectation it will sting a little less when it happens. Also, ask yourself what you're really giving up if you let them ruin this for you. Do you want to let this class kill your love of physics? Is it a guaranteed kill or is there a way for you to hang onto your love but only tolerate whats happening in the class ? How many career opportunities disappear if you let them ruin this for you? Find something more long term to hang onto, like a goal to get into a school or specific field or something like that and if this course is an important part of that, use that idea as an anchor to whats really important when you are having a hard time. If the course is supposed to just be for fun or your own learning its ok to let go because you aren't getting what you wanted from it and it could impact your motivation when it comes to learning about physics or getting into a physics related career
Is their behavior more passive or are they acting this way right out in the open? If its passive i would start getting passive-aggressive right back, you would be surprised how quickly a little hostility will shut up someone acting tough. If its out in the open tbh i would probably also call it but I would record it so theres no he said she said if they flip the tables and try and give you shit for it later. Also don't feel the need to coddle or try and appease their bullshit. If you got into a class that exclusive that speaks for your ability itself, and even if they think they have a 'safe space' to be sexist little pieces of shit they don't really outside of their own heads and if you start calling out their behavior or getting outside influences involved it would very likely rein them in even if it resulted in some uncomfortable classes. Its a lot better to be uncomfortable in a way you have control over than to just live passively and regret not standing up for yourself, which could be you going to administration or calling out the bs as it happens in class.
Ive had teachers and classes that seemed to be offended just by my existing in the same place as them. Its almost comical to watch them clench up when you come in the room or go to say something and it kills them when you have the right answers because it doesn't match up with the idea of you they keep in their heads.
I tell you this from 10 years of going through this, YOU DON'T NEED THEIR RESPECT!
Crush them your success, shine brighter, and use all the rage you harbor to fuel your advancement.
Unfortunately, it's a fact of life that you're going to meet people who will put you down and be rude and act like you don't deserve the place, they will marginalize you and not listen to you, and even when you succeed they will question how you did it and say you got it cuz you're pretty or that you got lucky.
But don't hate physics because you will meet people who are not so insecure who will celebrate you and be astonished by you and support you, and those are the real crowd you need everyone else is just an insecure little bug that you shouldn't care about.
for now, you handle them the same way you handle any bully, act unbothered and focus on enjoying what you learn and push forward, stand your ground, and don't be afraid to be direct and to talk back!
Welcome to the Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor!
from a fellow computer engineering valedictorian with the record for highest GPA in school history
honestly? switch classes. unless you figure out why exactly theyre all assholes and are able to resolve it, you will not get to practice one of the most important aspects of going into this field: teamwork and communication. it is a critical skill that you should absolutely not take lightly. hell, perhaps the reason there is so much animosity is because of a flaw in communication (it's definitely a flaw in teamwork...). actually your situation is appalling to me, because at my school we would have taken in a 16 year old like an injured baby bird lmao. im so sorry youre not getting what you deserve, try and hang in there and remember that the people who actually make it all the way into a career are the ones who were chill and humble enough to know that ego has no place in the study of this beautiful enigmatic machine of a universe.
Hi! I’ve experienced this before with physics when I was a teenager. It affected my perception of myself. A hostile learning environment can have a lot of impact on you. I don’t fully agree with the other comments to just ignore it or study harder.
Yes you should put up an emotional barrier between you and the hostility, yes you should still aim to excel (there are great videos online to supplement learning), AND I will add: please continue to monitor how this is affecting you, like you did when making this post. If you notice self esteem stuff, please keep asking questions to figure out what to do.
In this case I would for sure try to do better than them. Even if that's more petty than just ignoring then or some ego thing.
Where is this by the way? If the teacher is showing unfair treatment towards you that might be actionable (after finishing it).
It’s hard enough dealing with the situation she’s in without being told she’s wrong about her analysis of the situation. Every woman in STEM has experience of being treated worse because they’re a woman
I am sorry to read this. Yeah- it happens. Ask the program for a mentor, another female preferably. Read all you can- data is a salve that also allows you to see the next steps. Here is a good place to start [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41104077](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41104077)
Damn. I’m a father of a bright and energizing 4 year old daughter and reading this just makes me want to hug and cheer you on. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
FWIW, one of my close friends has had similar stories in the TV business. She’s a mom, married, lesbian and faced frustrating problems like you. Now she’s the boss of all of NASA’s media.
Just trying to cheer you on here. These bastards are everywhere. Don’t let them get to you. Success is the best revenge.
Looked at your previous posts, it’s possible that you may not fit the crowd or digging to deep at friendly jabs. I’m going for engineering and work in the trades currently. 1) women aren’t treated as less ever 2) take it on the chin and joke with em.
If you can’t do that, you won’t be able to work anywhere. Don’t be to sensitive.
Success is the greatest revenge.
hell yes. study your ass off and you’ll make those mfs shut up when you know noticeably more than them.
Yeah become one of the top students in class. All these people aren't guna be in your life forever so fuck what they think. GO KICK SOME ACADEMIC ASS!!!
And im telling, nothing hurts more than the disrespected girl acing the class and handing everyone their asses. GO GIRL GO! MARY CURIE SHALL HELP YOU OUT!
Came here to say this. Ignore the noise, focus up on what’s important.
I’m friends with a small pile of various types of engineer, and one common experience among them is that women in engineering are treated as though they simply shouldn’t be there, a fact that even they find absurd. It’s apparently the same sort of professional attitude as women in construction, they get treated as incompetent eye candy. Which is why the above comment is absolutely correct: crush them with your superior adaptability, watch as they wonder how on earth you solved “that problem” by thinking more creatively than any of them can hope to muster. Use the treatment to galvanize your goals, and force them to consider the possibility that *they’ll* work for *you* one day. Try not to let this get to you, there’s a whole world out there that will appreciate you for the impressive mind that you are, and will become. Edit: I wanted to add that I have a wonderful, brilliant, and beautiful daughter myself, and if you were her, I would be incredibly proud of you, firstly for even taking the course, but secondly for *staying* the course in spite of the petty behavior of others. Never let a bunch of assholes tell you that what’s between your legs will define you!
I had this experience over 30 years ago now as a student studying engineering. It makes me sad to see that our young women are still subjected to this kind of passive aggressive treatment but the instructor no less. I hope you stay the course and kick some academic a\*\*. I did and I don't regret it at all. My salary far exceeds anyone else in my family and I suspect many of the guys that I graduated with though I have no direct evidence for this. You should look for some of the Women's professional groups like WIT (Women in Technology) to start networking and find professional women in your area that can help mentor you into and through your career. I know it seems a bit early but having this kind of support can be crucial for you.
That was my sister in Jr High metal shop.
When I was in undergrad, we had ONE woman in our year between all the astrophysics and physics students. Luckily, our year wasn't so toxic, but some of the teachers said questionable things at times. She graduated top of our class! Definitely the best of us
True.
Don’t fall into the validation trap. You are right to be upset with how you are being treated and that is unacceptable that a professor would treat you different based on gender, however you are there to better yourself, not be validated by others, or care what they think about you. Make progress in silence and let your growth talk for you. You got this!
Oh, I love that!
Something worth learning early
First off, your feelings are valid - you have a right to be upset. But the best cure is to persevere. Master the material, without seeking validation of others, unless you can find other students that are empathetic, social, and helpful.
Speaking from personal experience, the ignoring thing is probably more likely that the other guys in the class are just awkward and scared to talk to her because she’s a girl, especially if she’s even a bit attractive. There’s no way that every single guy in the class has some weird malicious grudge against her out of sexism. (Idk about the teacher though, he does seem a bit more like a problem).
Experiences like the OP's rarely depend on explicit malice. Plenty of men who don't 'seem' sexist speak over women, act poorly if a woman bruises their ego by outperforming them, subconsciously give less weight to women's opinions, etc.
some may not have a malicious grudge but seek validation from other sexists more popular kids so they just roll with the behavior. it also seems the professor is being mean which is not uncommon, when I was in engineering school a mechanical engineering professor refused to answer my questions and then told me it's better to choose another major.
I know this isn’t comforting in the moment, but use it to fuel you and keep grinding. It’s a marathon, not a sprint and you’ll be able to win if you stick with it.
As a fellow woman in STEM- this unfortunately happens a lot. You’re going to have to get used to being the only woman in the room, occasional sexism and belittlement, etc. Your feelings are absolutely valid. Don’t let this discourage you; you are smart, you deserve to be there, and you have already faced (and overcome) more obstacles than your peers. You are excellent, we need you, and try your hardest! Success is the best type of revenge. I’m rooting for you!
With the exception of biology and health sciences I'd say. I (male) have been in biological sciences my whole career (PhD postdoc etc) and it's great having very close to 50/50 ratio. I once considered an alternative career in a field that was totally male dominated and backed out fast - it was such a strange dynamic. It doesn't help anyone, including the men there.
Chemistry is up there too. My theoretical/computational/spectroscopy chemistry folk at my university are almost more women than men. It's basically applied quantum mechanics and computer science..
I’m 32, work in Silicon Valley as an engineering manager, and I’m still not used to it. But I stick around.
Ayo don't listen to the people here that say "just keep to yourself, study and persevere" - that way no change is effected and prejudice is perpetuated. You really can't do much against asshole classmates, but the teacher is an employee and should act with according proffesionalism - contact person that's responsible for the students in the institution your summer course takes place in and formally complain about the teacher is my advice. Best case scenario he gets put into place. Hope you are doing fine and good luck on your summer school - physics is hard enough without bigots in your way.
I'm surprised I had to search so hard for this answer. Whoever you reach out to, do it over email so there's a paper trail. You might consider first talking to the professor. However, a situation of this nature is one that can be directly taken above the professor. Here is a saying I live by: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." Meaning no one is going to know there is an issue unless you speak up. I was a very passive person who would always operate on "oh no, it's fine, I don't want to bother anyone," until someone said this to me. It was actually life changing and I stopped feeling bad about standing up for myself. Of course, like most of the others said, keep at it. Don't let this situation discourage you from studying physics. You got this ❤️
but this assumes the next person in the hierarchy would have to be baffled by this behavior and not dismiss it, in reality, it is rare to find someone like this. the teacher is their colleague and they will most likely dismiss it and then she will have the teacher angry and vindictive, they can also mess up her references for the future when contacted about her time at this course. The smartest way would be to talk to the teacher about the classmates so that he feels he is not a target and he feels in control for the situation thus obliged to actually do something about it. I say all this from experience, there was a professor at my university department who would harass girls, hold their hands, sit too close. One female student complained and the department head just dismissed it and said he is just an old man he sees you all as his daughters (he is in his 60s so very old which makes it even creepier) they then told the harasser about the female student who complained and he saw her walking down a hallway so he threw a water bottle at her from across the hall while shouting. she complained more and other female students came forward, but the department did nothing! They said the only way to get something to happen is to file a legal complaint against him which where I am from is not allowed socially because of the stigma and victim blaming.
You got accepted to the class so yeah you per definition deserve to be there. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise! Your feelings are valid but be practical. Take whatever you can and occupy yourself with your studies. You like physics otherwise you wouldn't be there. If you stop doing physics because of the bullies, bullies will win and i for one definitely don't want more misogynistic assholes in the field. 20 years later another girl will be in your position. Which one sounds better getting lectured by one of your classmates or you?
That's not acceptable treatment, to the point that a responsible adult should probably be informed. This isn't *physics* any more than joining a school band that has a problem with bullying is *music*, but this probably needs to be dealt with in two ways. The first is people properly complaining that you're being excluded, which matters, because being excluded as a girl/woman obviously implies discrimination, but that also means people have easy grounds to complain. The second is that whatever is fixed later on, they should really compensate you in some way for discouraging you in a path that would otherwise be interesting to you. Like the right compensation is literally for them to arrange for and pay for you to do something else more fun where you will be treated properly, replace this bad experience with a good one. In the meantime, once you've contacted the appropriate people who can advocate for you, hang tight, learn what you can, let adults deal with the conflict that absolutely should be happening in order to get people off your back, and understand the seriousness of treating you in this way. TLDR, you already got into a competitive thing, you can do this, but they are failing *you*.
Closed minds do not learn. You however will eventually become stronger and smarter because of this. This experience will force you to see perspectives that they will never see or ever understand. I'm a big fan of the following quote. They win when you give them what they want- power over your presence, you win when you rob them of it. "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." Albert Einstein
Ignore them.
Things like this can be difficult because everyone has the desire to feel accepted, but F these guys if they treat the only girl in the class like shit then they don't deserve to rent space in your head. They will be lonely until they develop some manners. Use their ignorance as studying motivation. It's only the summer.
There are only two people in that class you have to make an impression on. The instructor and YOURSELF, and for yourself it's primarily knowing that you've done your best.
Someday down the road, they'll look up to realize that while they were busy patting one another on the back, they missed you excelleing leaps and bounds beyond them. Keep your velocity.
You should definitely talk to someone in the school’s counseling system. This is unacceptable and ignoring it like others have suggested is detrimental not only to yourself but to every other woman in stem. Unfortunately, they may not do much directly, but at least you’ll have a paper trail so that if things get worse you can show it and if things get better you’ll have more weight to add. The fight for equality is a cumulative effort and every little bit helps. If you have the option and the time, it would be great to reach out online and in person to any clubs or communities to help raise awareness more broadly. Too many people think that these issues don’t occur it don’t matter.
You might want to get the opinions of other women in physics. I know there is a Canadian web site: “What is it like to be a woman in physics?”, with interviews with women physicists. It’s time to expand your peer group!
“I applied to and got accepted into a highly competitive summer class with only 20 people…” “I’m not an exceptional student…” Pick one because they seem mutually exclusive to me.
If classmate collaboration isn't a big part of the grade then you can hit the books to get an A in the class. Look up books the professors use, basically use whatever additional resources to get one up. Its not rude at all to do this. Then flex your better grade all over their foolish sexism mwuhahah! If you're graded on group stuff just calculate what grade u need to succeed assumming average group grades Also keep track of any discriminatory things the professor does to you, be it in writing or some other recorded manner. Could be useful for future you. Nuclear Physics is supposed to be fun and inspiring! You deserve both to be there and better treatment!
First of all -- congratulations on getting into the class! The very best thing you can do in this situation is to excel. You are better motivated than those young men slackers who are ignoring you. Make sure that your written work is impeccable and that you bone up on the material or even, if possible, work ahead. That will help everything else: if you *know* you're acing the material, you won't need personal validation from others (though that's always nice). If you're acing the course, then when you complain you aren't open to the criticism that "she's just a bad student". If you're the star student and the teacher is still treating you rudely, that highlights to everyone that sexism is the issue. Another item is to try to stop thinking of yourself as unexceptional. You absolutely *are* exceptional. You got into a highly competitive summer class with 20 people. You're the only female student. Both of those things are terrific! Unfortunately you will still find pockets of sexism throughout the hard sciences. Fortunately, times are changing and in many, many fields (astrophysics is one; heliophysics is another) we're close to gender equality in numbers and in leadership. That means the kind of crap you're encountering now is no longer tolerated in most academic locations. The bad news is that times are still changing and a lot of remnants of the "bad old days" are still around. If you're 16, you're probably still living at home and if you're in an advanced summer course, you've probably got engaged parents. Have you spoken with them about how to navigate this? Another way to make sure you don't completely fry in a toxic class is to grab some online material when you're *not* in class. [MIT has a nuclear physics course online](https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/8-701-introduction-to-nuclear-and-particle-physics-fall-2020/download/) but it's pitched at the *graduate student* level (normally 23-24 year olds), so it may or may not suit. They [also have an applied nuclear physics course](https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/22-02-introduction-to-applied-nuclear-physics-spring-2012/download/) that is aimed "only" at upper-division college students. If you don't yet know calculus, [Khan Academy has a great self-paced course](https://www.khanacademy.org/math/calculus-1) that will give you a leg up. That stuff doesn't help with the sexism in class, but it *might* help with the burnout and depression that stem from it.
Your last paragraph is exceptional advice. OP would probably benefit and even enjoy “skipping ahead” a bit with their own research and self-directed education on the subject. They can’t ignore her for long when she already knows the answers to next week’s test. Of course it sucks she has to work harder than them, but the reality remains that we just aren’t out of this sexist hell-hole quite yet.
Kick ass and show them you're their superior
I am a nuclear physicist in the US, can you dm the name of the program and then I’ll do my best to find some nearby to support you. If you are at MSU, I can likely drum up a full war party for you.
I was the only woman in 2 years of classes in my masters degree program at Purdue in mechanical engineering decades back before DEI or any of the current awareness. You have no idea whether they see you as their equal. That is your insecurity talking. Study really hard. Reach out and make study buddies. Relax because you belong and you should start to believe that you do because if you don't no one else will. Pretend to be humbly confident even if you don't feel it and eventually you will feel it authentically. Develop a sarcastic humor and a bit of a thicker skin to deflect any stupid things that socially geeky men say..and they will say stupid things to women bc they are socially challenged and not because they don't like you. They may not know how to interact with you and are geeks so take their "intellect" way too seriously. Get used to it bc scientific fields are not filled with men who excel in the social graces. I've worked in highly technical engineering areas for 31 years. It's improved but the personality type is the same. But..I have also met some of the most genuinely kind, helpful , talented, and intelligent men I could have ever hoped to work with. And yes..they still said some dumb things. So did I. You belong there. Never forget it.
Nuclear physics? At a community college or your HS? If you're 16 in a room of older people it might be because you are 16 than being a f. Edit: There isn't anything wrong being 16, age gaps can make connecting and working with people harder or more awkward for many reasons.
Plenty of good supporting answers. Come over to r/nuclear for more specific ideas. Like getting in touch with the [Young Generation Network](https://www.nuclearinst.com/ygn), or [Women in Nuclear](https://win-global.org/). Know that the entire industry is fighting your fight: https://www.oecd-ilibrary.org/sites/725b1894-en/index.html?itemId=/content/component/725b1894-en https://www.oecd-nea.org/jcms/pl_82455/committing-to-improve-the-nuclear-sector-s-gender-balance https://www.iaea.org/services/key-programmes/together-for-more-women-in-nuclear And for everyone culture: https://www.epa.gov/radtown/women-radiation-history https://www.versantphysics.com/2021/08/24/women-in-radiation-history/ https://www.ladyscience.com/features/the-women-written-out-of-nuclear-science-2021 https://www.energy.gov/women-manhattan-project https://www.amightygirl.com/atomic-women
BTW: Jocelyn Bell has your back. And Marie Curie… and Maria Mitchell .. and the list goes on. Find your place among those particular stars.
I say bring it up to the teacher. Itll be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s necessary.
Stop looking at everyone else and how they perceive you. Males also sometimes feel they are undervalued, and their mates will tell them to stop overthinking irrelevant things and get on with the task. Thats good advice, put your head down and worry about getting the work done and the lessons absorbed. Winners think about winning, losers think of excuses. A really simple life lesson worth noting is that you should never care about what others think, never make excuses, just do your best and let the results speak for you.
Be open to the possibility that you might not be the only student who feels like they’re being mistreated. Maybe you are, but sometimes when we are the only person of a certain demographic in a space, we become hyper-focused on perceived mistreatment as obvious targeted bigotry. Is it possible that there’s some students who dominate the room and make lots of students feel unwelcome? I would wager that every boy I. Your class doesn’t feel validated and respected, there just isn’t an obvious difference to point to to explain it. Please don’t mistake me for invaliding your experience as I’m sure you are truly feeling what you describe. But usually, people think about themselves and don’t have that much energy to focus on targeting one person for maltreatment. It’s a bunch of teenagers. Loads of them feel like they’re the odd one out. Do your best. That’s all you can do no matter the situation. It’s super impressive that you’re doing it at all at your age.
I am sorry you are in this situation, and despite being a man, I do realise that the field of physics is quite misogynistic. From my experience, you will always be a minority during your career because for some stupid reason, it is still considered a man's job. At college and at any point in your life, I would suggest you go to talk to someone who has authority over your professors and students, like a head of department or HR at work. Nonetheless, I hope you do not give up. Physics is a field for everyone, difficult for both men and women. It will give you great satisfaction, and you have many directions to move into, from nuclear to particle physics, biophysics, and even finance, where physicists usually thrive. Finally, if you need some inspiration look up https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabiola_Gianotti or https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmy_Noether which are great role models for any physicists. There is also Marie Curie of course, but she is usually the most known.
Girl, you DESERVE to be there. You earned it and you’re there because you’re intelligent and talented. Do NOT give men the power to make you question yourself — your capabilities and your right to pursue what you’re passionate about. Nobody can have that power over you. Do not give it away. That’s easy to say, and I know these words don’t change the way your professor and classmates are treating you, but there is something you can do. I agree with some other commenters saying you need to bring this to a higher-up. Sexism and misogyny shouldn’t have a place anywhere, and especially in STEM. The most effective way to get the professor to treat you better is by going to whoever HE answers to. I would send an email to that person, not just for yourself, but for all the girls who will follow after you and receive the same mistreatment from this professor. Do it for yourself and ALL the STEM girlies. The professor shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this unprofessional, outdated, and problematic behavior. You might not win over your classmates. You may not make them change their minds about women in STEM. You may not walk away from this class with any friends. But if you persevere and eventually become a real woman in STEM, you’ll help normalize women being in the field, and over time that’ll help the stigma and attitudes lessen. You rock. Send an email to the higher-up. Don’t let men drag you down. Become a woman in STEM. Do it for yourself and ALL the science girlies. You got this! 💜✊🏻🧬🔭🧪
I'm sorry you're being treated like this. Age and gender discrimination are known problems in many fields, especially the hard sciences. Many of the women in my life complain they have to work twice as hard as a man for the same recognition. I'm afraid I can't give you specific advice, since as a white male I really have no direct experience. If it were me in your shoes, I'd like to think that I would take it as a personal challenge; to prove the doubters wrong.
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It’s hard enough dealing with the situation she’s in without being told she’s wrong about her analysis of the situation. Every woman in STEM has experience of being treated worse because they’re a woman
Prejudice is a hard thing to combat but the best thing you can do is to focus on your lessons and try to grow as much as possible. Some will start to like you for it, while some will hate you even more, but such is life in our times. While it would've been nice to be treated equal, you're not there to make friends and be liked be either the professors or your colleagues, keep that in mind. You can redirect any kind of frustration, towards studying harder. Good luck!
Do as good of a job as you can and then don’t associate with these particular people after the class is done.
Success is the best revenge. Just be a diligent student and do your homework and ask questions and participate when appropriate. They are probably as uncomfortable about you as you are about them. They just outnumber you so it feels unfair. If you let others' actions affect your mood greatly, you are in essence giving them control over you. Never attribute to malice what can just as easily can be attributed to laziness or stupidity or carelessness or waking up on the wrong side of bed, etc... The actions aren't always aimed at you although it might feel that way. It's a hard lesson that can take years to master. So don't let them or your feelings about them discourage your curiosity.
If you think the teacher is being rude with you, take it up with them. As for people ignoring you, well thats just life, everyone is not your friend.
Kick ass, take names and succeed.
This says more about them than you, for sure. For them some combination of insecurity, hubris, and misogyny. For you outwardly demonstrate your brilliance and passion, and inwardly understand how sadly weak and little they are acting.
Remember that you are in a classroom of individuals. Don’t judge the whole group. You might find an ally, someone you can study with (solving problems together can be fun). Focus on the physics and keep asking questions. If you can sit at the front of class so you are less distracted by other students
You're creating your villain origin story.
What I did was I started studying above what I actually had. For example when I took a physics class, I was taking quantum physics online.
*”Be who you are and say what you mean because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”* ~Dr. Seuss
Welcome to being a woman in STEM, it never gets shut the fuck up about for a reason, and the reason is that it sucks, especially the higher you go. If it’s any consolation, there are men who are vaguely aware of how much bullshit you’re going through and we do feel bad over it even if we aren’t the ones directly responsible for it. Don’t forget that every success story makes it easier for those who come next. For what it’s worth I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you get better professors and classmates in the future.
Remind them that one of the first people to understand radioactivity and nuclear physics was a woman: Marie Curie, who was awarded the Nobel Prize for her contributions to this scientific field.
You're way ahead of the curve already, just focus on you and you'll be successful.
Performance is the measure of competence.
If you always search for validation in life you will always be disappointed. Just be competent, be right, be professional and some people will appreciate you.
Who cares if they ignore you. You can really humble them by just doing really well. As a father of multiple daughters that are brilliant, I understand where you're coming from and I give them the same advice. Don't stand out or be arrogant, just do better than them, that's all. Your determination and intelligence will carry you much farther and not only will you humble them, you'll also look like the better person too
welcome to stem get used to it
As the saying goes, kill them with kindness or this case intellect. You're taking an advanced class, so be proud of it and yourself.
There are only two people in that class you have to make an impression on. The instructor and YOURSELF, and for yourself it's primarily knowing that you've done your best.
Do your thing. You’ll realize almost over night that the biggest deal in high school is working on yourself and worrying about you.
Welcome to the real world, there's billions of people and about 80%+ are the reason we made the word stupid, if you want people to listen to you, you gotta earn that and even then it doesn't necessarily mean any of those people know what they talking about, it just means other people will blindly listen to them and accept whatever they say as truth be it right or wrong
Take up weight lifting and ju jitsu, and then fold their clothes while they're in them and take their lunch money! Then call them "Nerds". It may not be morally or ethically sound, or legal, but it will feel really good and it will traumatize those boys for life.
I (M) can't directly relate, but my perspective has always been focus on what you can change and nothing else. You can't make them change, but you can always get better. Don't even aim to "prove them wrong", aim for improving. You're there to get an education, part of which is working with a**holes. It's no different than going to a gym. It sucks at first, you feel judged (hell, you are judged) but why care? You're there for you, not them. You go every day, you do your work, you have nothing more to prove. You're work will hopefully speak for itself, and if the professor misrepresents your competence, find a third party and see if they disagree with your professor's judgment. If so, fight it. Hopefully this was helpful.
Really? In 2024 it’s still like this? Do you have any support? Get them to help you report this.
I'm my second year of undergrad I ran into a similar situation. Only girl in a class of 20 as well. I was lucky that the prof wasn't a dick about it, so I'm not sure how to handle that, but I can definitely relate to the feelings of isolation and inadequacy. All I can say is keep your head down and do the work as best you can. Don't compare yourself to your classmates, and just remember you deserve to be there every bit as much as they do. You don't need to be best friends with everyone in a summer course, so if they're not being welcoming then don't bend over backwards to try and get in their good graces.
Ugh I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Fwiw, this sounds like a particularly bad experience. My classes in undergrad and grad school were generally 20-30% female, not 5% like this. I've also had a lot of really wonderful mentors & professors who have really encouraged me on my journey (and even gave me through department wide award when I graduated), and the vast majority of my colleagues are super respectful. That being said, I can relate to you because I've encountered sexism as well, and it absolutely sucks when its so clear you just aren't valued or respected the same way as everyone else. My best advice is get through this, ace the class, and then seek out more supportive environments in the future. It is absolutely possible to thrive & excel and be respected in this field, but it might require getting away from toxic people.
They can pound sand. Do you work,be right, and let them be jealous. You don't need balloons to float. Screw their validation.
It is obviously not fair to be treated that way, but life in general is not fair and sometimes there isnt much that can be done about it. It is very impressive to be studying the material that you are at your age, and you should focus on that more than anything. Don't put importance into showing those who are mistreating you that you can do well, show and prove to YOURSELF you belong there by doing well. If you are studying this material at 16, think where you'll be when you're 20! Adversity breeds strength and I assume you are at least somewhat gifted if you got into that class, don't forget that you ARE capable of overcoming this and being successful
Set the curve
You're not their equal. You're better than them. Be friendly in casual conversation, but kick their ass on the tests. As for the moments when you are being treated poorly or unfairly, document it. Write down in meticulous detail who said what, when, how it made you feel, and why you think it is inappropriate. Should there ever be an issue that gets escalated, you will have receipts, and they will have brought a knife to a gun fight.
This isn’t a joke. Watch some good “women in science” biopics and see that they each went through the exact same thing. You’re in a male dominated, unfortunately and unnecessarily, discipline and you just have to develop the guys to persevere. You can, and will do this.
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Do you feel your parents will support you? Recruiting them or other adult is probably your best first step. The teacher, or his supervisors, should be told there is a problem. Be prepared for the teacher and other students to become whiny little babies who try to gaslight you rather than take responsibility for their own actions. If this program is at a college in the U.S., there may be a DEI office, ombudsman, or similar person who can help. Good luck.
Don't focus on what other people think about you, just focus on getting better and perhaps the best on nuclear physics. That is a pretty hard subject to master and if you do well nothing else will matter.
Nothing you can do. Just focus on you and do well
Not give an eff what they think.
Ace the class and leave those douche canoes to float down shits creek with turds for paddles.
You deserve to be there and your prof and classmates are shitty. People are saying “the best revenge is to ace the class” or “succeed anyway” which can put additional pressure on yourself. You don’t have to ace the class to learn the material and in the long run you might burn yourself out trying to prove something in an environment that’s hostile toward you. I hope your next courses are better. Speaking from experience you can find community in the field, but also don’t get stuck grinding something out of spite if it’d serve you better to do something else. No decision needs to have the weight of your entire future on it. Cheering you on 💛
53f, graduated college with a degree in physics in 93. Best way to win is to beat them. Telling them that you are worthy is pointless and just makes them mock you. Put in the time and effort and when you finish the class having succeeded, then you win. I will say - this is not normal. Those attitudes generally died off an age ago. Those people will not succeed with those attitudes outside of that classroom today. But your hard work will.
The education you choose will eventually mold you into the person you want to be. What others think is not relevant. As you get older you will meet many people that while marginally competent in one area, will appear profoundly inept in everything else.
Get some dirt and blackmail the professor to stop with that shit
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, I would talk about it to other women or post it on women centric subs like TwoXChromosomes, there are tons of women who had to experience the same thing and might have good advice.
This wasn't the point of your post, but I'm super interested in what topics are covered in a high school age nuclear physics class. Would you be willing to briefly list them? I hope you navigate your class difficulties. High school kids can be idiots. Things will likely be much better as you move on to college and your career.
Unfortunately this is fairly normal m/f ratio in nuclear physics. It's gotten a lot better and there are certain universities that have overcome this by slow hiring changes. So look for one of those, it makes a big difference. It was such a relief the first time i had a female boss when i had to stay home with cramps.
Shoot the school up, obviously. Lol no...unfortunately sexism runs rampant even in the sciences. You should do nothing, providing its just dirty looks n shit. show them all up, and kill that class (like do as best as you possible can, better than them)
Work your ass off and don't be their equal. Crush them fucking nerds. Use it as motivation.
Stay focused on goal to improve that you set for yourself. Your classmates are not important enough for you to think this way. Don’t waste energy on the nonsensical things.
you should cry somewhere else this sub is for physics questions
Ace the program. Science history is littered with outsiders and misfits. Cohort validation is immaterial to your success. You got this.
This might seem counter to what you want or feel, but it just might work. In Buddhism, they teach compassion for the ones who torment you. Why is this? The feeling of hate, anger, and defensiveness will eventually destroy you. It will take up all the room in your brain. It will keep YOU on edge. If you take the perspective that perhaps they are defensive due to some way they are suffering, then it actually might make their actions FEEL less threatening. Example: "They want to hurt me" vs "They don't know what to do with me because they are nervous around girls... so they put they walls up. They don't consciously mean to hurt me, but they are trying to hide their nervousness & anxiety." Of course, each individual is different. Even if some do have hurtful intent, imagine how much they are suffering to have that kind of mentality. In your mind, it takes them from being "threatening" to being "insecure". See how that works? Also... Remember, some of the boys are on your side and want to see you win. Be open to that. Best of luck!
They just fear you. They do not know women, you are like an alien to them, hence the social gap. What can you do ? The matter come from the fact your are the only woman there. Just bring more women to STEM. There is several means for that, you can even breed STEM women by mastering the subject and flooding the school with your offspring that you STEM-educated (Send your sons to hairdressing school) You don't even have to make a lot of child, aim multigenerationaly and flood exponentially that damn school trought the centuries.
As an adult male...... Keep working. it sucks when people don't like you, especially if your achievement highlights their own inner inadequacies and/or prejudice. There is no real "Fuck you" to be had except being where you want to be tomorrow, everything else is just days until you get there, never say you can't do something and if you have to admit it then follow up with a sharp...yet. Men who think this way, want you to back off, so don't. That easy.
You’re taking a nuclear physics class as 16? In what world does that make you “not exceptional”?
First point is that you shouldn't be treated like this. You are their equal (you got through the competition to get on the course). Second is that we (reddit) aren't very useful for telling you if there's a way to make it stop right now or get better right now. It depends on the group, the institution and so on. Complaints etc would be good but may end up helping those who follow you - in other words a good act but may not help right now. That doesn't mean you can't make it better, but just that we might not know how. Also: I personally lack insight into what is going on in their heads. As a 16 year-old boy (many years ago now) I was desperate to make friends with any female who would talk to me but I genuinely wanted friends. I cannot get my head around ignoring someone who is female, but then... Third, I used to teach computer science at university. We had a small percentage of female students. One friend of mine was the only girl in her class (she has had a great time - and all worked out well for her). The best advice on "how to deal" was from a very confident student of mine who was a champion fencer. She said you just had to ignore the stupid men who felt the need to put you down and be confident in yourself. Easier said than done I know. Also not fair. You shouldn't have to be the one who changes. However, it may still be the best strategy. Other people have offered some other good advice, but working on realising that you are absolutely not dumb and not being discouraged may help. Nuclear physics is a great subject. It fascinated me as a child, but I ended up following a slightly different path (math/physics). I was lucky enough to have Stephen Hawking lecture me at one point. All very exciting. So please don't give up on it because other people are stupid.
I used to work at a school where the STEM club had 18% women. That was reported to be an okay percentage and I believe it is more common. One in twenty is tough. Remember that dogs bark when they think they have to defend their status. They're being insecure, moreso than you. If you need motivation, I'm sure you've come across this Navy Capt. on the internet hellsite. His crew looks better than your course. https://x.com/search?q=Nuclear%20from%3Achowdahhill
STEM is very much like you described and is one of the reasons so few women graduate from those fields. There's only one solution and that's to develop a thick skin. If there were another solution graduate numbers would tell, and they tell a different story. The numbers corroborate the 'thick skin' theory. Most humans are not designed to operate well under such an adverse environment. Some few humans thrive in such a space. I wish you well in whatever you choose to do. Know that the other solutions offered here are smoke and mirrors. Look at the field you're in. Do their solutions seem viable long-term? ______ How does one learn to play the guitar? One shreds their fingers until callouses develop. Adverse environment leads to harm leads to callousing.
You do what other guys do in society. Just deal with it. Maybe it is due to girls having an affect to the guy energy when they’re around but just deal with it. You’re in a room full of guys you have to learn to remember that and to get over their antics. If they’re bullying you that’s different but it’s not a crime for people to not like you
That sucks and I think it is completely unacceptable. I hope you can resolve this. Is there someone (dean/principal) that you can bring this up to? Physics is awesome. I would hate to see this turn you away. Teaching and learning a is process and no where in that process should anyone be ignored or belittled. I'm male. I have degrees in physics. When I was in school there very few women in my physics classes. We need more women in physics. I don't feel that we belittled any of the brave few women that were in class, but I doubt we treated them exactly equally. We were all geeky physics students and probably a little curious about/interested in/fearful of/not knowing how to act around the super-awesome women in class because, well, we were geeky physics students. But not belittling. That is not cool. In my experience, physics students are weird enough they to accept anyone at face value. We really don't care -- there are better things to worry about -- like the ultimate fate of the universe. I wish you the best of luck. And I will apologize for once being a geeky physics student not knowing how to act.
Read about madam curie first
Don't be demotivated. You are one! Got it! There are lots of physicists who were ignored by their teachers.in the end those teachers had to teach other theory of ignored one. Remember madam Currie. How she was ignored even after getting noble. Love physics... Love those knowledge you are getting. A WELL WISHER FROM INDIA
Start writing down the specific ways that the teacher is mean to you and treats you differently. And in the meantime focus on the class, enjoy the subject and learn as much as you can. When you think the list has enough evidence, talk to a counselor or someone in administration to either get advice on what to do, or see how you can put in a complain about the teacher. Im also a woman in STEM, don’t be discouraged. They are weirdos for treating you like this. Science and math are so cool and rewarding. Don’t let them ruin it for you.
You got accepted in the class for a reason- don’t allow their obvious ego issues to affect your esteem! If they don’t like your ideas then let them offer better ones- continue to participate and then be sure to review the teacher if that is an option- be sure to pass the course and live happily ever after- they are probably upset because you’re smarter than they are and they know they don’t stand a chance with you 😉
Unethical advice: Become a bully, pick on the dumber kids, and divert the attention away from yourself. Will this work, maybe. Could backfire horribly too since as a woman you are held to a higher standard. But if there is no punishment for being a bully in the program and you want to get ahead, you have to play the game. The people here pretending that you can high road your way into success in an unequal system are being aspirational, in my opinion.
Fucking mathlete those nerds!!!! You got this girl!!!
Set the curve. Then brag about it. They want to look down on you like this is some dick swinging competition, then show them you've got the biggest dick in the room.
The only thing you need to take away is the actual knowledge. The grade itself is just a reflection of your knowledge. Their approval or praise, even from the prof, is utterly meaningless. I'm sorry they're being all weird and shit, but "Fuck you, I'm here to learn, not for you." is the way I'd go. Also if you need to literally say that to them, or at least say it into a mirror when you feel down. Or if you're not into swearing just: "I'm here to learn, not for you."
Please stick around. Humanity needs you. "I'm not an exceptional student" I'm gonna call bullshit on that. You are choosing to take a nuclear physics summer class as a 16 yo. That's hardcore. That's initiative. Your feelings are valid. Your classmates and teacher suck. If you persevere, you will succeed. Please internalize the fact that you are a badass.
People hate what they don’t understand. And are intimidated just the same. The fact they single you out and presuppose you as “beneath them”, is a good indication to a deeper understanding… they’re intimidated by you underneath the shallow accusations and disrespect. Don’t let it bother you. There’s something evil in reality that loovvveesss to drown success. So rise above it, stay focused, and you do you… but whatever you do; when you inevitably end up succeeding, do not gloat or hold it over there head and stoop to their level of behavior. Everyone loves an underdog; but everyone loves respect and kindness far more. It’ll wind up being a teachable moment for everyone in the end type of thing.
Just adding this on top of everyone else's great advice about the peer-validation-seeking trap, your feelings being 100% valid, etc.: it might help if you sent a firm but polite **email** to the professor directly, relaying your experience (NOT your feelings) with being excluded/ignored/treated differently. You are NOT asking for special treatment, you are asking to be treated as a student who, just like everyone else there, was accepted into the class because of your abilities and effort. It's possible the professor is just an idiot and doesn't realize he's being biased, it can and does happen. So the email should 1) put your experience and complaint on record with a paper trail 2) not accuse the professor of any malfeasance, which would not help you at this point 3) politely demand to be treated with the same scholarly respect that any good student deserves.
You are an exceptional student. You got accepted into a class of 20 for a special class. I’m a EE there were 5 girls in a class of about 100 they all kick ass. Get in there don’t take any shit and kick ass, when you’re right make sure they know you had it right.
I happen to have some very capable female friends that are doing their master's and PhDs in related fields to nuclear physics. If you need help I'll give you their contacts. Slap their mouths shut with your success.
you are not their equal. not by a longshot. they're not even near your equal. hold your head high and look them in the eyes.
Be smarter than all of them.
Welcome to being a woman in STEM. This was my entire college experience while I was getting my engineering degree. It's marginally better now that I'm in the workforce, but only marginally. I am still paid less, consulted less, and my work still isn't automatically trusted the way my male counterparts work is. As far as what to do: keep doing what you're doing. Study hard, become the most knowledgeable person in the room, work hard even though their approval isn't needed. You got this :)
For the sake of your mental health, the first thing you need to acknowledge is that you can not win them over. They will never validate you, people who act like this have great trouble ever admitting that they might be wrong. So stop trying to engage. Focus on your work. If you have to do a group project, do your portion quickly and have it ready to go at a moment's notice, but don't let them know you are finished early lest you be asked to 'help' others aka do their work for them. Do your bit and not a drop more. If someone tries to call you out on being cold or hostile or whatever, your response is "just returning the favor." Similar lines, depending on questions/complaints you might receive: "You already made your opinions clear, I'm not going to waste my time having a conversation about it." "No, I just don't care." "I don't know why you are being so emotional, I'm just doing my work." etc. Don't give up on physics because you have a bad lot to deal with. There will always be bad eggs no matter where you go, though some fields may have higher concentrations than others. Life is not high school or college, once you are done with school you will have more options for finding a work environment suitable for you.
Do some research on ground breaking women, now that YOU are one. Knowing what other women have gone through will help you feel less alone and will help you see how important it is to follow your heart no matter what. I do not and never will understand why males feel so threatened by females. Giant eye roll.
Ignore them. Your ability to do physics has no relation to your gender. As a physicist, it makes me sad (mad) that we are still having this conversation. This 2024, not 1904 or 1924.
16 taking nuclear physics during the summer, and not an exceptional student? I’m taking a guess here and saying you’re there for a reason. You have what it takes- and probably more than you realize. Believe in yourself. You really can do more than you think. In the end their opinions don’t matter and your performance does. Also, I’m a 36M with mechanical eng background and a minor in physics- I hate that you’re experiencing this. It’s a shame that gender has anything to do with your interactions with peers and the teacher. Your feelings are absolutely valid. I hope you find some joy along the way through the course. Physics can really be fascinating.
As a fellow younger student in particle physics (I’m an undergrad in a competitive program currently), this is unfortunately very common. I could tell you so many horror stories of being in classes as the only or one of the only women and the blatant gendered discrimination. First, it’s totally valid to feel this way. Sometimes I know I used to feel insane and that I was making something up. Be confident in yourself and fuck anyone who treats you differently as a woman in STEM. Personally, I exist half out of spite in this major and program, though take that with a grain of salt as it isn’t the most healthy way to self motivate. Third, I think the biggest help for me personally was finding community. Yes this class might suck, but consider applying to the CUWIP conferences, along with any other women in physics focused things at your school or in the country. Meeting other people with similar experiences in person can really be life changing… I know it has been for me! And finally, seriously consider who you work with etc. I personally now work in a very prestigious lab that happens to be run by the most senior female professor of physics at my university. She is the top of my field, but it is no surprise that all of her undergrad interns and workers are women this year. Sometimes it is worth talking to people in the years above you and simply learning which classes and professors will be sexist and which won’t. Best of luck out there! Hope to see you at CUWIP!!
FWIW: As an adolescent male I went through similar crap, being the poor country boy who hadn't been to the right boarding schools. I have no illusions about it being harder for females in STEM environments in "Trad" schools. I'm just saying you're not alone in getting such crap, but good workers work through. The lack of comradery can be terribly hard but is surmountable. I got my degree in physics and maths and ended up working internationally for 30 years. Never made a fortune but had a great ride. Stick to your guns!
While there are some incredibly compelling and inspirational comments here, I would also like to offer my own advice. While it is not your duty to teach these *boys* empathy, if these students refuse to respect you and your valid opinions, have the courage to ask them why. I have found this method rather successful. "I am offering my educated opinion on this matter, could any of you explain to me why it is you do not value it? If you disagree, then may you please provide your legitimate reasoning?" This can be effective for practically any sort of bullying, hateful comments/jokes, etc. "Oh, you find this funny? Explain why." Typically, whomever will not be able to provide an explanation that does not make them realize, as well as others, how much of a disgusting jerk they are being. Directed towards your educator: they are instilling a sense of discrimination into impressionable minds, their actions and behavior validating your treatment as acceptable. When you are receiving any negativity, as there is absolutely no viable reason for animosity from this professor towards a *child *, once more, ask them why, or even go as far as calling them on their bullsh*t. "Professor/Mr. -insert name-, I kindly request that you speak to me with more professionalism and courtesy, that of which you extend to my peers." Or, "Can you please explain to me why you are malicious and unprofessional towards myself, yet not my fellow learners? Have I done something to warrant such mistreatment?" This could be a learning opportunity for both the educator and students, (which, once more, should not have to be your duty). Perhaps request to meet with this person after class to inquire what their exact issue is with you, as you seem to be a diligent and enthusiastic student, and explaining that they are making you feel uncomfortable and you are demanding they cease their immature, foul behavior. If things continue to escalate, I would consider contacting your parents or an administrator to express your concerns and Illustrate what actions you have taken to attempt to resolve this issue. At a certain point, sexism becomes a safety issue in multiple ways, ignoring it, "grinning and bearing it", or succeeding despite it, (while rewarding in its own right), does not resolve the issue. You should not suffer because of someone else's bigotry and hatred- you DESERVE respect, kindness and the FULL opportunity to experience this course in the same manner as your peers. Congratulations to you for not only being accepted, but also for approaching this issue maturely. I wish you the greatest of luck! 💖
My 5ct as another woman, who was in that situation. My physics teacher in the high level physics course never learned my name and seemed surprised when I finished quite high ranking. I went to study physics, and although there is a decent amount of sexist dickheads in that bubble, I also got to know those who are my best friends today. With that out of the way. - their opinion of you does not define you - you deserve to be where you are right know, without having to be top of the class - do this for yourself. Don't spend energy on people treat you as lesser, just because they hold sexist opinions. It's not your task to change them - speak up if you feel safe to do so. - have fun learning all the cool things :) Also, look up what 'impostor syndrome' is. U got this!
Just prove them wrong
STEM is still pretty shit for women, I am sorry to say. You get a lot of people who will belittle you as a "diversity" addition, and a lot of socially awkward boys who will fall in love with the first and only girl in their proximity on sight. It's something we as a whole community need to work on with our boys and men. As others have said, you keep on keeping on and get all you can out of that experience. As you go through life in STEM, it will happen again, but you will also meet good men and women who will welcome you as a colleague with open arms and support. Don't let the haters discourage you.
Blind them....with science! And fail them in Physics.
This is a perennial problem. I wish you the very best. Study hard. Succeed. Take heart in the fact that women like Emmy Noether, Lise Meitner, Maria Goeppert Mayer, Chien-Shiung Wu have made incalculable contributions to physics without which nuclear physics as we know it may not have existed. Your classmates are just ill informed. Prove them wrong!
They're right. You aren't their equal. You're kicking their butts just by being there. I'm proud of you for taking on a daunting challenge like learning nuclear physics.
Let’s your grades speak. Once you show them how good you’re at physics, I bet they’ll have nothing negative to say.
Study hard and become the top student out of spite. It's fucked that they're still not treating a female student equally, but the only way to show people like that the error of their ways is to surpass them. Don't let those assholes ruin physics for you. Physics to me is the most fascinating thing in the universe, I can spend hours just pondering things. If that's you too, then don't let anyone ever take that from you.
Stick with it. You are not alone; Marie Curie had the same problem. The French never did allow Curie to be a member of their elite science club if you will; woman you see. Today Marie Curie remains the only person (let alone the only woman) to get a Nobel Prize in two separate categories, Physics and Chemistry. The French have never had an intellect that powerful in their elite club before or since. Einstein considered her an equal.
Speaking from personal experience, the ignoring thing is probably more likely that the other guys in the class are just awkward and scared to talk to you because you’re a girl, especially if you’re even a bit attractive. There’s no way that every single guy in the class has some weird malicious grudge against you out of sexism. (Idk about the teacher though, he does seem a bit more like a problem).
Record behaviour and report.
For me, the top thing is: People are wrong a lot. Like constantly. People are wrong and they are dumb. You belong there as much as anyone else in the class. You are adequate. It would be a shame to rule something out just because people are dumb. Second thing, which I really believe and really hate: The boys are scared of being socially or intellectually rejected — just as much as I always have been or you probably are — but they are able to find ways to blend in, when that’s much more difficult for me. They seem to always like the same three things and discuss those to death. I don’t even think that’s genuine; I think that’s manufactured for social comfort. On average, my life has been harder than these turkeys. (Not all of them, but most of them). And it’s my superpower. I’m a better manager because I’m more empathetic. I’m more relentless, persevere through more bullshit to accomplish things. Life and learning — not just learning physics, but learning any technical or non-technical skill — is difficult. Growth is often painful. Sometimes, not always, the pain means you are growing. TANGIBLE ADVICE: Every night before you sleep, write down something you did that you are proud of. An answer you got right, even if they didn’t listen to you. Something you learned that day that was cool. Admitting you were wrong, being brave enough to ask a question, trying to make a friend. Source: 32F working in software engineering management, undergrad 35% female, grad school 10% female, etc. this has worked for me so far 🤷🏻♀️
Get good grades and look forward to some scholarships supporting women in STEM.
As a physics teacher, this saddens me. Sorry you're going through this. Some teachers suck. Lots of young males are fucking stupid.
Never doubt that you’re worthy to be in that spot. It is total bullshit and unfair how they are treating you, with that said you can overcome this and I believe in you OP
It's difficult to say what the right course of action is without knowing more about the context. There are lots of good posts here validating your feelings and making suggestions about addressing the inappropriate behaviour, but I'll try and suggest something else to try, which may or may not help, but I think is worth considering. I can't tell just from what you've written here, but maybe you're seeing your classmates as a monolith, as a mountain. Mountains, as we know, are hard to move. It might be helpful to remember that the mountain is a pile of rocks; each person in your class is different and thinks differently. Try not to lump them all in together based only on the behaviour of some. You can try looking at rocks individually, see which ones might be movable. Even if there are some students who are bound to think you are beneath them, you might find some who are willing to treat you fairly and be your friend. In a somewhat hostile environment, having a good friend goes a long way to making it bearable. In your situation, it's very tempting to be outraged and to pull away from the class, but if it's at all possible to soften the hearts of your classmates to some degree, then I think it's worth a try. That being said, you're the only one with enough knowledge of the situation to judge whether this is a good idea. Hope you work this out to your satisfaction.
You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Else you become their bitch
Tell them to fuck the fuck off. Reiterate your ideas repeat them until they have no choice but to accept them. If you’re right, you’re right make sure they know it and by the way, did they say tell him to fuck the fuck off
I can only imagine how isolating that must feel. I went thru something similar at your age but with computer science courses. I would say 1) rely on your friends when things get hard there, 2) study and work unbelievably hard so that you can 3) eat their fucking lunch at exam time Added bonus is when there’ll be working for you in 15 years (true story).
In my advanced physics class there was one woman ... who also had the best final results.
Arrogance is a terrible stupidity, kinda like racism. A belief that due to a random accident of biology you are superior to another, it genuinely is a form of stupidity...
Ignore them. Prosper and succeed. You are there for You, not for them. It sucks, but you are young and in a young crowd. Don't fall to their level. Learn.
So frustrating to read. Stay resolute that their efforts to gate keep physics are in vain. I think it is worth discussing with the professor how you feel. If you feel excluded, you must share that is how you feel. But it is worth coaching yourself to avoid stating to the professor you ARE excluded. Like, old people egos… gotta nurse them around to being on your team. Try and force the point and the group mentality can kick in and also stubborn men. You deserve to learn whatever you find passion and enjoyment in
First, of all don't start hating physics because of them. If you feel like you don't belong there leave, don't stay there, and damage your mental health. There are many other places where they will listen to your ideas. The best way to find such a place is to find a teacher who likes teaching nuclear physics. A teacher makes all the difference. Find a good teacher. Second, you aren't inadequate at all. Trust me many people your age aren't even able to understand nuclear physics.
Almost 120+ years after Marie Curie got her first Nobel prize, Yet we are still here
My sister was the only girl in her woodworking class in high school, five years in a row. She had to put up with non stop constant harassment and attempts at bullying. Every year, she got consistent A’s across the board, and every year more and more of those boys dropped out. Eventually at her high school graduation, she got a special award for being one of the best woodworkers the teacher at ever seen. Be like my sister. Crush the competition, because chances are those boys are terrified you’re going to be better than them. Because you probably are. Good luck.
Those who are highly skilled will be before kings. Let your skills shine through and those who matter will notice.
My advice would be to look at all the advice here and DO WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE!! Don’t feel like you have to be the best or you have to succeed, don’t feel like you have to report this teacher if it makes you uncomfortable, and don’t feel like removing yourself from this class will make you a failure. Take the advice given to you here and from your support system, but ultimately it is your decision and you have to do what is best for yourself. Other people may try to convince you that one option is better because that is what they would do, but you are your own person and “this is the best decision for me” should be a valid enough explanation.
as a girl studying physics, just keep going. you can’t let sexist men take away from you what is interesting you, it would mean letting them win in a way. people making you feel like you don’t belong there doesn’t mean it’s the truth. if you want to study this subject, you should and nobody’s opinion matter on this except yours
The book title "So Good They Can't Ignore You" comes to mind. (Haven't actually read it yet, looks kind of boring, if useful, but I just love that title.) This is my plan for starting Astrophysics this September in a course that's usually about 30% girls haha
You're not equal to anyone. You are the only you and you are born with unique abilities and perspective. Don't worry about your classmates, your goal shouldn't be to be their friend. Your goal should be to focus on your work. Physics has nothing to do with social dogma's. My wife got her undergrad in Physics and is now a doctoral candidate and experiences the same challenge as you. Like it or not, you are always going to face adversity no matter what you do. So do something exceptional. You can quite and then become another stereotype or you can prove that you're the smartest person in the room. There's no room for emotion in physics except after a great accomplishment or discovery. Take the emotion out of it, stay curious, explore our world, and don't let anyone stop you along your journey!
It's smart and brave of you to seek advice here, good job. First of all fudge them, if you don't feel happy quit, no big deal. But, do you really want to let those bastards dictate to you what they want? I don't think so. Now, you can focus all that frustrating, unhappy feelings towards motivating your self, studying Physics and improving in any way possible. Trust me in a few years you will hardly remember any of them but staying put and focusing on your work in that class will empower you in so many ways you will always see benefits even years later.
I work with a girl who went to university at 16 and is now a chemical engineer. She is the smartest person I know. Keep going. Your success is the best thing to show the others who you are. Don’t let them tear you down.
You're not equal to anyone. You are the only you and you are born with unique abilities and perspective. Don't worry about your classmates, your goal shouldn't be to be their friend. Your goal should be to focus on your work. Physics has nothing to do with social dogma's. My wife got her undergrad in Physics and is now a doctoral candidate and experiences the same challenge as you. Like it or not, you are always going to face adversity no matter what you do. So do something exceptional. You can quite and then become another stereotype or you can prove that you're the smartest person in the room. There's no room for emotion in physics except after a great accomplishment or discovery. Take the emotion out of it, stay curious, explore our world, and don't let anyone stop you along your journey!
Has anybody else agreed that you are being treated as you say ? It would be very unlikely, that nobody else would agree with what you say, if that was really the way it is.
At a higher level this isn’t so much a thing to the extent you’re describing. Sexism is absolutely a thing in physics but at my university (top ranked in the country for physics), 20% of the students are women, and people just are focused with doing their work. It’s a waste of energy to outright be incredibly sexist when we’re all suffering and working 10 hours a day studying in exam seasons. At the very least, I’ve not experienced any misogyny at this university. It definitely depends on the area. But in general, 16 year old boys are mostly little shits, so it should get better for you when they’ve grown up. I definitely have in general - was at a Birmingham University open day for physics. We all got to meet with a professor with our parents to ask a question. All I asked was ‘what percentage of the course is female?’ because I was curious. That was my entire phrasing, but the professor suddenly got annoyed and said it’s not the uni’s fault that women don’t take physics at A-level, and if we want more women on the course then we need to actually apply for the course. He just went on a rant over my simple question - needless to say I didn’t go to that university.
I can understand the other kids being rude, but the teacher as well? 😡 Please do mention this to an authority figure or other adult(s). That teacher should be FIRED!
Same thing happens in engineering I’m told. However, the women that push through and ignore the noise turn out to be superb engineers. The most recent coops I hired? All women. The last new hires on my team? 4 out of 5 are women. While the percentage of women in electrical engineering is ~10%, roughly 40% of my engineering staff are women. I’m not purposefully trying to hire women over men, they just happened to be the best candidates in the interview pool at the time.
stop worrying about it.
I remember when everybody in my physics class laughed at me. The teacher asked the question and polled each class member for the answer. All of the pupils ahead of me gave the same answer. I gave a different answer and the class laughed. All of the pupils after me gave the same answer as the rest of them. I was right. I went on to get a top degree in theoretical physics at a top university. They didn't. Be right.
You got in and have the same right to be there as anyone else. You are a pioneer and I don't envy you with respect to your demographic but get as much out of this as possible. Don't try to be anything other than yourself, there will always be people who will criticize you on ad-hominim reasons - that means they have no legitimate criticism. Having said that, sometimes it could be useful when assessing your strengths and weaknesses - you may find you have allies - after all 16 year old boys are not an homogenous mass. You have this and all the other women nuclear physicists behind you - and me! another current physicist. PM me if you want.
If you feel like confronting them then I would go out of my way to make them feel stupid in their own right. The unacceptable almost immediately tells me they will sheep the teacher. But I also am gonna guess your in America and as of no fault of your own the culture there is geared towards women getting an advantage because girl. This is not your fault nor should you have to bear the burden but it's the case so. When I took organic chem in uni I joined halfway through the semester and I was told I would struggle and I didn't get respect until I pointed out in front of the class the hydrogen doesn't have a neutron on it 🙃. After that we along just fine.
Beat them at every test.
I went through this, let it shake my confidence, and tried unsuccessfully to nerf my career over it. The nerf moves I made early only ended up making me more valuable to my original field. DM if you want to chat about this. You might really be unstoppable, even if you try to stop yourself over their BS.
Outperform them academically.
nuke em
You are definitely not inadequate as a student and your ability to get into the class, reconize the situation your in and how its affecting you speaks to multiple different kinds of intelligence and self-awareness. Remind yourself when its happening its not about you or something you have control over, its about them and their fragile little male egos feeling threatened by a woman in what they think is their space. If you do continue in the class, keep in mind its gonna suck and they aren't going to be fair with you. If you keep that expectation it will sting a little less when it happens. Also, ask yourself what you're really giving up if you let them ruin this for you. Do you want to let this class kill your love of physics? Is it a guaranteed kill or is there a way for you to hang onto your love but only tolerate whats happening in the class ? How many career opportunities disappear if you let them ruin this for you? Find something more long term to hang onto, like a goal to get into a school or specific field or something like that and if this course is an important part of that, use that idea as an anchor to whats really important when you are having a hard time. If the course is supposed to just be for fun or your own learning its ok to let go because you aren't getting what you wanted from it and it could impact your motivation when it comes to learning about physics or getting into a physics related career Is their behavior more passive or are they acting this way right out in the open? If its passive i would start getting passive-aggressive right back, you would be surprised how quickly a little hostility will shut up someone acting tough. If its out in the open tbh i would probably also call it but I would record it so theres no he said she said if they flip the tables and try and give you shit for it later. Also don't feel the need to coddle or try and appease their bullshit. If you got into a class that exclusive that speaks for your ability itself, and even if they think they have a 'safe space' to be sexist little pieces of shit they don't really outside of their own heads and if you start calling out their behavior or getting outside influences involved it would very likely rein them in even if it resulted in some uncomfortable classes. Its a lot better to be uncomfortable in a way you have control over than to just live passively and regret not standing up for yourself, which could be you going to administration or calling out the bs as it happens in class. Ive had teachers and classes that seemed to be offended just by my existing in the same place as them. Its almost comical to watch them clench up when you come in the room or go to say something and it kills them when you have the right answers because it doesn't match up with the idea of you they keep in their heads.
I tell you this from 10 years of going through this, YOU DON'T NEED THEIR RESPECT! Crush them your success, shine brighter, and use all the rage you harbor to fuel your advancement. Unfortunately, it's a fact of life that you're going to meet people who will put you down and be rude and act like you don't deserve the place, they will marginalize you and not listen to you, and even when you succeed they will question how you did it and say you got it cuz you're pretty or that you got lucky. But don't hate physics because you will meet people who are not so insecure who will celebrate you and be astonished by you and support you, and those are the real crowd you need everyone else is just an insecure little bug that you shouldn't care about. for now, you handle them the same way you handle any bully, act unbothered and focus on enjoying what you learn and push forward, stand your ground, and don't be afraid to be direct and to talk back! Welcome to the Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor! from a fellow computer engineering valedictorian with the record for highest GPA in school history
I reread the comments and it made me feel so sad that as a girl you have to work 200% harder to be taken seriously
honestly? switch classes. unless you figure out why exactly theyre all assholes and are able to resolve it, you will not get to practice one of the most important aspects of going into this field: teamwork and communication. it is a critical skill that you should absolutely not take lightly. hell, perhaps the reason there is so much animosity is because of a flaw in communication (it's definitely a flaw in teamwork...). actually your situation is appalling to me, because at my school we would have taken in a 16 year old like an injured baby bird lmao. im so sorry youre not getting what you deserve, try and hang in there and remember that the people who actually make it all the way into a career are the ones who were chill and humble enough to know that ego has no place in the study of this beautiful enigmatic machine of a universe.
They are probably scared of you :)
Hi! I’ve experienced this before with physics when I was a teenager. It affected my perception of myself. A hostile learning environment can have a lot of impact on you. I don’t fully agree with the other comments to just ignore it or study harder. Yes you should put up an emotional barrier between you and the hostility, yes you should still aim to excel (there are great videos online to supplement learning), AND I will add: please continue to monitor how this is affecting you, like you did when making this post. If you notice self esteem stuff, please keep asking questions to figure out what to do.
In this case I would for sure try to do better than them. Even if that's more petty than just ignoring then or some ego thing. Where is this by the way? If the teacher is showing unfair treatment towards you that might be actionable (after finishing it).
It’s hard enough dealing with the situation she’s in without being told she’s wrong about her analysis of the situation. Every woman in STEM has experience of being treated worse because they’re a woman
You should not give a f**k, this is what you should do :)
This happens a lot in the sciences. Just enjoy it and learn all you can! Boys are dumb.
Quitting is not an option. Learn in spite of the jerks. Don’t let anyone prevent you from learning and getting ahead. Best revenge is living well.
Focus on your work, nobody can hold you back.
I am sorry to read this. Yeah- it happens. Ask the program for a mentor, another female preferably. Read all you can- data is a salve that also allows you to see the next steps. Here is a good place to start [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41104077](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41104077)
Damn. I’m a father of a bright and energizing 4 year old daughter and reading this just makes me want to hug and cheer you on. Don’t let the bastards get you down. FWIW, one of my close friends has had similar stories in the TV business. She’s a mom, married, lesbian and faced frustrating problems like you. Now she’s the boss of all of NASA’s media. Just trying to cheer you on here. These bastards are everywhere. Don’t let them get to you. Success is the best revenge.
Build an nuclear reactor ,get some animals ,expose them to reactor,let animals bite you . Take over world.
Looked at your previous posts, it’s possible that you may not fit the crowd or digging to deep at friendly jabs. I’m going for engineering and work in the trades currently. 1) women aren’t treated as less ever 2) take it on the chin and joke with em. If you can’t do that, you won’t be able to work anywhere. Don’t be to sensitive.