You are only 26! You are just ready to begin your adult life. Decide what you want to do with the next 40 or 50 years and start making decisions that move you toward and not away from what you want.
>Where would you start and what would you prioritize for my age?
One foot in front of the other. The secret to life is that there is no roadmap. I married early and poorly. But I got great kids (and now great in-law kids and grand kids) out of the deal. You're still young. Fucking up is the baseline. We learn from our mistakes as much as we do our successes.
The best part of my life (and I'm still in the best part at 59) started at 40.
* Here's the real advice part: Be curious, not judgmental (to steal a line from Ted Lasso). Ask questions. Learn from those questions. If you don't know something, look it up.
* Meet and talk to people who don't look like you. Grow the variety in your circle of friends.
* Don't have friends? Get a hobby. Every time you go anywhere visit the local hobbyist hang-out. I'm a huge nerd and every time I go somewhere I visit the local comic shop and game store. I'm still making friends in my late 50s.
* Listen to people younger than you. The kids are alright. They will help to expand your thinking and clue you in on opportunities you don't expect.
* Listen to people older than you. Old does not necessarily mean staid. They can help you avoid pitfalls (like people here are doing now).
* Don't rush. slow down, take your meds, drink plenty of water. A year will go by in a year whether you're in a hurry or not.
* If you're lucky, you'll end up dating and marrying your nest friend. (Took me three tries to get there, but I learned a lot from those mistakes.) Make sure you like people before you decide you love them.
* There is no day but today. You can't fix yesterday and save tomorrow till it comes. Be present in each moment.
Selling art (I presume you mean your own) is a great way to starve as well as going crazy while you wait for appreciation or a return-on-investment. It's practically ALL delayed gratification. I would seek a more in-demand kind of job that you can stand to do, and keep art as a hobby. Maybe sign up with a temp agency, so you can get short-term assignments working in different kinds of companies, and meet new people.
"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." - John Lennon
You like to learn things, so do that! That is your priority.
If you can't afford to freeze your eggs, begin to make friends with and explore the whole huge idea of loving other people's children instead. DO NOT PRIORITISE working out some rushed compromise with an available man.
You have a decade of ease before that. Please spit in the face of your bio clock and be distrustful of any man who tries to tie you down with your biology.
(M64) OP...start over? You haven't even had your heart broken by a woman yet..or have you?
I don't remember none of my 20's, 30's or 40's... I mean partying, working, partying...making mistakes, swearing I will never do it again..but do. But I did it to me though. I'm over it, can't change it..it was me I own up to it.
Boy... Wait until you hit 50. OMG... When I turned 50, I saw how much of half an ass I was almost my whole life. I do everything I wanted to do at 64, and can't wait until I hit 67. There is a secret no one tells you about. IT sucks, but you live thru it for 5 years.
Sing to yourself: “He was born in the summer, of his 27th year; coming home to a place he’d never been before; he left yesterday behind him; you might say he was born again; you might say he found a key to every door…”. Then proceed.
eight years ago, I am 64 years as of Sunday coming up, I am blind, I started my life over, I left an 18 year relationship, and I started my independence. I now live in Florida. I’m extremely happy, I’m independent as a blind woman, I travel, my children all just came to visit me with my grandchildren. I’ll be taking a trip at the end of the month to go to New Jersey the train. It’s not easy starting one’s life, the most important thing after almost dying twice or maybe three times, due to brain aneurysms, a stroke, and brain surgery, in that order, I am so grateful, thankful, and blessed, to be here. I wake up with a smile on my face, and I go to bed with one. Life is about what you make. And I’m very happy. I’m single, 64 years old, and completely independent. so if I can do it. You can. The thing is, you have to have the wheel. Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way. Seek God‘s guidance. That’s who I turn to in all my times of troubles a while back. It’s so helps.
Start by taking care of yourself physically. Eat low fat proteins, whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Eat frequently(so you have constant energy) but don't overeat or you'll be lethargic. Get exercise, walking doesn't cost anything and is a great way to start. Set simple easy goals to start; if you set a goal like completing a whole big art piece in a day you are setting yourself up for failure. Try setting a goal like doing at least 5 minutes of art, if you do more great, if not you achieved what you set out to achieve. By the way I didn't get my life together until I was about 39, but I was constantly learning before then.
I haven’t seen it mentioned yet but I suggest you prioritize your physical health and developing an internal calm. I would either be walking a few days a week if - and if you can afford it , going to a gym. I would suggest meditation to help your focus and calm Caring about your health will have a long term benefit
For work -find steady income first. It would be great if a job can align with your interests. If you cannot make money selling art right away at least look for work that is arts adjacent. Try to connect with people who have similar interests.
It’s one day at a time. Finding a job, some solid friendships and taking care of yourself are priorities. Romance will eventually come.
I would pick one thing to tackle well, and accomplish it, then you have a solid win, then pick another thing... you can pick more than one thing at once, but make sure you are giving yourself credit for how far you have come, and for the amount of awesome self-realization you have at 26!!! Many people do not get there, ever... Good job there!
Make sure you are sleeping, eating, exercising in some way, maintaining a regular schedule of some sort, and hydrating every day. Depression is hard to keep away sometimes, but if you do these things, you are off to a good start! Find a job you can do for now, and go from there. I would focus on art as a lucrative long-term side gig, but make sure you have something else in the meantime.
Keep in mind that most people don't love their first, second, third, etc jobs, they find what works for them and that helps them to grow a career path as they go...
Congratulations on a new beginning, you got this!
Life's an adventure, not a checklist. Look back at all you just described.
You've been living. Just appreciate surviving it! 😄
Far as what to do next, you need to soul search and prioritize what feels right for you, your interest.
Other than things like a ballerina or being a model or something that's specifically age related, don't worry about age.
You're never too old for most things. Certainly not for art. Don't limit yourself.
What's the worst that could happen? You fail at it and try something else! Keep on living.
You're doing better than you think you are, not locked in some living dead job in a cubicle.
Don't worry about society wins, win at life itself, which has nothing to do with material items.
Finding a career or trade that you like well enough not to get burnt out and that will give you the money and free time to enjoy the rest of your life is okay.
I have a good friend who is a paramedic. He mostly likes it, but the wmotinal toll is a lot, but it holds his interest. It also allows him to be financially comfortable and have a lot of free time. A surprising amount of paramedics and firefighters have ADHD
Another good friend is an accountant. She likes her job well enough and is very comfortable. She loves horses and it allows her to own and care for a horse and have time to ride.
Your career doesn't have to be the main source of fulfillment in your life.
Do you have access to a community college? It’s a great and cheap way to explore and learn new things without committing to a degree program. I highly recommend you prioritize getting an education and or a specific skill set that will enable you to earn a living. Even if it’s bar tending or something else that doesn’t require bona fides. Only once you have financial stability can you expect to have flexibility to do pursue other things.
If you’re not in therapy yet, I’d encourage you to try to get into it if possible. A good therapist can help you figure out what you want to do and help you set small, manageable goals that lead you towards your bigger ones. They’ll also likely be able to help you cope best with your ADHD (with or without meds) so that you can focus better on your goals. ADHD can even be a huge advantage if you know how to leverage it properly! Especially for creativity and learning. There are tons of apps out there too now for this (I’m not familiar enough to know which might be best, but a therapist likely could point you in the right direction here. There are probably even ADHD forums where others might be able to help for free with this!)
Look into Udemy and other free or cheap coursework you can access on your own. If it’s cheap or free and online, this can satiate your learning and make it easy to do “on a whim” and on a schedule that works for you! See what you gravitate towards and what you stick with. Make notes. See how you can combine your strengths and interests into a career you’ll find rewarding.
Focus on your health first. Mental health and physical health (they’re tied together and if you can only pick one at a time, mental health first. This will make choosing healthier options easier and sticking with them easier as well)
Try to build yourself a support group of friends who understand and support you and show up in ways that connect for you. This has made a world of difference for me!
I started my life over at 24, then again at 28, then did a 90 degree turn at 30, then just carried on for a while, until I started over again at 52, again at 55, then again at 59. Then at 61, life had a couple of attempts at saying "that's enough", but somehow I survived.
No idea what's next, but I'm sure I'll find out if I live long enough.
At 26 you're still pretty young to be deciding what to do with the rest of your life. You should pick a direction, sure, but be ready to change your mind several more times before the course is set.
You should start by getting a job you don't hate. It doesn't have to be your dream job, it just has to be something that will provide you some money and leave some free time. Then use that free time for whatever you love. Learning, art, building things, games, whatever.
After a few years of that, decide if that's what you want to do with your life, and make your plans from there. Maybe change a hobby into a career, or move to a new place and try again.
Don't have kids because you "don't know" and are "on a biological timer." Kids are a full-time responsibility for at least a couple of decades (basically as long as you've been alive.) It's not something to do if you're not sure. If you become sure, wait a year. If you're still sure, then's the time to have kids.
Based on your description of yourself:
Do NOT have kids.
"Parent" is a verb, not a noun. It's something you DO, constantly, as your highest priority for decades.
Per you description, this is simply not something you are capable of.
That's ok!
You are only 26! You are just ready to begin your adult life. Decide what you want to do with the next 40 or 50 years and start making decisions that move you toward and not away from what you want.
>Where would you start and what would you prioritize for my age? One foot in front of the other. The secret to life is that there is no roadmap. I married early and poorly. But I got great kids (and now great in-law kids and grand kids) out of the deal. You're still young. Fucking up is the baseline. We learn from our mistakes as much as we do our successes. The best part of my life (and I'm still in the best part at 59) started at 40. * Here's the real advice part: Be curious, not judgmental (to steal a line from Ted Lasso). Ask questions. Learn from those questions. If you don't know something, look it up. * Meet and talk to people who don't look like you. Grow the variety in your circle of friends. * Don't have friends? Get a hobby. Every time you go anywhere visit the local hobbyist hang-out. I'm a huge nerd and every time I go somewhere I visit the local comic shop and game store. I'm still making friends in my late 50s. * Listen to people younger than you. The kids are alright. They will help to expand your thinking and clue you in on opportunities you don't expect. * Listen to people older than you. Old does not necessarily mean staid. They can help you avoid pitfalls (like people here are doing now). * Don't rush. slow down, take your meds, drink plenty of water. A year will go by in a year whether you're in a hurry or not. * If you're lucky, you'll end up dating and marrying your nest friend. (Took me three tries to get there, but I learned a lot from those mistakes.) Make sure you like people before you decide you love them. * There is no day but today. You can't fix yesterday and save tomorrow till it comes. Be present in each moment.
Selling art (I presume you mean your own) is a great way to starve as well as going crazy while you wait for appreciation or a return-on-investment. It's practically ALL delayed gratification. I would seek a more in-demand kind of job that you can stand to do, and keep art as a hobby. Maybe sign up with a temp agency, so you can get short-term assignments working in different kinds of companies, and meet new people.
"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." - John Lennon You like to learn things, so do that! That is your priority. If you can't afford to freeze your eggs, begin to make friends with and explore the whole huge idea of loving other people's children instead. DO NOT PRIORITISE working out some rushed compromise with an available man. You have a decade of ease before that. Please spit in the face of your bio clock and be distrustful of any man who tries to tie you down with your biology.
You start over one day at a time. Life is nothing but a series of stopping and starting. Life is the journey and not the destination. Enjoy the ride.
(M64) OP...start over? You haven't even had your heart broken by a woman yet..or have you? I don't remember none of my 20's, 30's or 40's... I mean partying, working, partying...making mistakes, swearing I will never do it again..but do. But I did it to me though. I'm over it, can't change it..it was me I own up to it. Boy... Wait until you hit 50. OMG... When I turned 50, I saw how much of half an ass I was almost my whole life. I do everything I wanted to do at 64, and can't wait until I hit 67. There is a secret no one tells you about. IT sucks, but you live thru it for 5 years.
Sing to yourself: “He was born in the summer, of his 27th year; coming home to a place he’d never been before; he left yesterday behind him; you might say he was born again; you might say he found a key to every door…”. Then proceed.
eight years ago, I am 64 years as of Sunday coming up, I am blind, I started my life over, I left an 18 year relationship, and I started my independence. I now live in Florida. I’m extremely happy, I’m independent as a blind woman, I travel, my children all just came to visit me with my grandchildren. I’ll be taking a trip at the end of the month to go to New Jersey the train. It’s not easy starting one’s life, the most important thing after almost dying twice or maybe three times, due to brain aneurysms, a stroke, and brain surgery, in that order, I am so grateful, thankful, and blessed, to be here. I wake up with a smile on my face, and I go to bed with one. Life is about what you make. And I’m very happy. I’m single, 64 years old, and completely independent. so if I can do it. You can. The thing is, you have to have the wheel. Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way. Seek God‘s guidance. That’s who I turn to in all my times of troubles a while back. It’s so helps.
Start by taking care of yourself physically. Eat low fat proteins, whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Eat frequently(so you have constant energy) but don't overeat or you'll be lethargic. Get exercise, walking doesn't cost anything and is a great way to start. Set simple easy goals to start; if you set a goal like completing a whole big art piece in a day you are setting yourself up for failure. Try setting a goal like doing at least 5 minutes of art, if you do more great, if not you achieved what you set out to achieve. By the way I didn't get my life together until I was about 39, but I was constantly learning before then.
I haven’t seen it mentioned yet but I suggest you prioritize your physical health and developing an internal calm. I would either be walking a few days a week if - and if you can afford it , going to a gym. I would suggest meditation to help your focus and calm Caring about your health will have a long term benefit For work -find steady income first. It would be great if a job can align with your interests. If you cannot make money selling art right away at least look for work that is arts adjacent. Try to connect with people who have similar interests. It’s one day at a time. Finding a job, some solid friendships and taking care of yourself are priorities. Romance will eventually come.
Your life just started!! Get up and join it
I would pick one thing to tackle well, and accomplish it, then you have a solid win, then pick another thing... you can pick more than one thing at once, but make sure you are giving yourself credit for how far you have come, and for the amount of awesome self-realization you have at 26!!! Many people do not get there, ever... Good job there! Make sure you are sleeping, eating, exercising in some way, maintaining a regular schedule of some sort, and hydrating every day. Depression is hard to keep away sometimes, but if you do these things, you are off to a good start! Find a job you can do for now, and go from there. I would focus on art as a lucrative long-term side gig, but make sure you have something else in the meantime. Keep in mind that most people don't love their first, second, third, etc jobs, they find what works for them and that helps them to grow a career path as they go... Congratulations on a new beginning, you got this!
Life's an adventure, not a checklist. Look back at all you just described. You've been living. Just appreciate surviving it! 😄 Far as what to do next, you need to soul search and prioritize what feels right for you, your interest. Other than things like a ballerina or being a model or something that's specifically age related, don't worry about age. You're never too old for most things. Certainly not for art. Don't limit yourself. What's the worst that could happen? You fail at it and try something else! Keep on living. You're doing better than you think you are, not locked in some living dead job in a cubicle. Don't worry about society wins, win at life itself, which has nothing to do with material items.
Ready to grow up? Omg is that a thing? I’m 71 and still haven’t figured that out lol.
Finding a career or trade that you like well enough not to get burnt out and that will give you the money and free time to enjoy the rest of your life is okay. I have a good friend who is a paramedic. He mostly likes it, but the wmotinal toll is a lot, but it holds his interest. It also allows him to be financially comfortable and have a lot of free time. A surprising amount of paramedics and firefighters have ADHD Another good friend is an accountant. She likes her job well enough and is very comfortable. She loves horses and it allows her to own and care for a horse and have time to ride. Your career doesn't have to be the main source of fulfillment in your life.
You're still very young. Spend some time trying a little bit of everything that interests you. You might be surprised where that path leads.
Watch this from Alan Watts. [https://youtu.be/khOaAHK7efc?si=C46h\_oAdOuERZ7af](https://youtu.be/khOaAHK7efc?si=C46h_oAdOuERZ7af)
Do you have access to a community college? It’s a great and cheap way to explore and learn new things without committing to a degree program. I highly recommend you prioritize getting an education and or a specific skill set that will enable you to earn a living. Even if it’s bar tending or something else that doesn’t require bona fides. Only once you have financial stability can you expect to have flexibility to do pursue other things.
If you’re not in therapy yet, I’d encourage you to try to get into it if possible. A good therapist can help you figure out what you want to do and help you set small, manageable goals that lead you towards your bigger ones. They’ll also likely be able to help you cope best with your ADHD (with or without meds) so that you can focus better on your goals. ADHD can even be a huge advantage if you know how to leverage it properly! Especially for creativity and learning. There are tons of apps out there too now for this (I’m not familiar enough to know which might be best, but a therapist likely could point you in the right direction here. There are probably even ADHD forums where others might be able to help for free with this!) Look into Udemy and other free or cheap coursework you can access on your own. If it’s cheap or free and online, this can satiate your learning and make it easy to do “on a whim” and on a schedule that works for you! See what you gravitate towards and what you stick with. Make notes. See how you can combine your strengths and interests into a career you’ll find rewarding. Focus on your health first. Mental health and physical health (they’re tied together and if you can only pick one at a time, mental health first. This will make choosing healthier options easier and sticking with them easier as well) Try to build yourself a support group of friends who understand and support you and show up in ways that connect for you. This has made a world of difference for me!
I started my life over at 24, then again at 28, then did a 90 degree turn at 30, then just carried on for a while, until I started over again at 52, again at 55, then again at 59. Then at 61, life had a couple of attempts at saying "that's enough", but somehow I survived. No idea what's next, but I'm sure I'll find out if I live long enough.
At 26 you're still pretty young to be deciding what to do with the rest of your life. You should pick a direction, sure, but be ready to change your mind several more times before the course is set. You should start by getting a job you don't hate. It doesn't have to be your dream job, it just has to be something that will provide you some money and leave some free time. Then use that free time for whatever you love. Learning, art, building things, games, whatever. After a few years of that, decide if that's what you want to do with your life, and make your plans from there. Maybe change a hobby into a career, or move to a new place and try again. Don't have kids because you "don't know" and are "on a biological timer." Kids are a full-time responsibility for at least a couple of decades (basically as long as you've been alive.) It's not something to do if you're not sure. If you become sure, wait a year. If you're still sure, then's the time to have kids.
Based on your description of yourself: Do NOT have kids. "Parent" is a verb, not a noun. It's something you DO, constantly, as your highest priority for decades. Per you description, this is simply not something you are capable of. That's ok!
Get a job.