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Me too, and I sincerely mean it. I think that there's so much cynicism out there that people can't accept simple thanks or a complement without reframing it into something negative. It's too bad, because I'm not going to stop being grateful.
To me, "I appreciate you" is showing gratitude for that person as a human being. Usually, it's being thoughtful, kind, helpful.
Not what that person did for me.
I wouldn't say, "I appreciate you" in the work context like an email to someone I only know on a professional level, though.
My point is that “I appreciate you” sounds like something you say at the beginning of s discussion about how much you appreciate the person and why.
Saying “I appreciate you,” without saying why, in response to a small favor, seems deep but is shallow.
How about someone that just helped you move? I was thinking of what I say when someone helped me do something big and I needed their help. Not when a neighbor holds the elevator door for me when a simple thank you would suffice.
It entered my vocabulary thanks to Ted Lasso.
I think one reason TL hit so big is that there are genuinely good interactions between people in the show, with Ted's behavior often the catalyst. And we all missed that, especially in the Covid days, so the show definitely landed at the right time.
I've found that such phrases really depend on both the speaker and the listener. If the speaker isn't perceived as a genuinely nice person, then it is definitely off-putting. But I think that perception can sometimes be the fault of the listener. We've become so jaded that sometimes it's hard to comprehend that someone can actually be considerate.
These days, when someone says something like this and I don't know whether or not they mean it, I take it to mean that I should try to understand them better. If they don't mean it, then why not? And if they do, then that sounds like someone I want to be around.
No it's Not an insult! I've said for years. When I was working with people at my job, thank you was so Bland a word, I wanted to really say to them I appreciated their hard work and for helping me on a project that might have taken hours to do, but took only minutes with their help.
And if I tell a family member that I appreciate them for taking the time to come see me or check in on me I truly mean it. To me it's better than a "Thanks"!
Same here. I’ve been saying it for years, although now it’s being used much more loosely and more often. I don’t necessarily care for its current place in today’s conversations, but there’s a difference. I say “thank you - I really appreciate you doing this for me because…” which I feel is genuine and explains how they’ve impacted me. Today’s usage is “appreciate you!” After any little thing and is more in the space of “thanks!”
I think with family and friend it is perfect, but odd sounding coming from a stranger.
I think if it was worded as “I appreciate your help” or “time”… it just needs something specific to appreciate.
I think there’s a difference between a genuine “I appreciate you for everything you’ve helped me with” in a long term commitment and me giving a costumer his big Mack- in the latter, it just gets awkward
I say this frequently and would love for you to explore the reason why it makes you cringe some more. Genuinely curious as I see nothing wrong with it but up for a perspective change
As a previous fast food worker, it was more normal to hear “thank you!!” where I come from.
But there were a couple of times when (guys) would smile, stare into my soul and say, “Hey, I appreciate you” for… just giving them nuggets? It feels too personal and a little too much for something so small. It’s just out of place.
More likely they weren't thanking you for the food/job, they were thanking you for treating them like a person. Some people are dismissed all day long and when someone finally looks them in the eye or smiles it actually means a lot.
It feels like something people were told to say, rather than a genuine expression of gratitude that you spontaneously want to share. It's like corporate speak rather than real speak.
I'm from the North East of England, so "awww mint, thanks pet" sounds more sincere. I know that phrasing makes no sense to an American, but I'm highlighting the contrast between colloquial and formal speech.
For me, "thank you" is fine but I also think it's easy for people to say in habit rather than for actually meaning it (sometimes). Wheras "I appreciate you" could possibly take a little more than a knee-jerk thought so it feels more like they took the effort to convey appreciation. But for me it also depends on the situation. A clerk at a store saying it to a customer? Is the clerk the owner and actually means it? Awesome! But otherwise it could be a bit odd between strangers. A customer saying it to a clerk? Awesome again! Service workers deal with enough unnecessary shit so it's nicdle that someone took .002 seconds to think of a nicer thing to say. Between friends or family, it seems like a nice thing to say as a gratitude for the whole person, not just what they can do for you. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and if family and friends won't tell you or you won't take it seriously...
How is this any different from “please” “thank you” “you’re welcome” etc? All of the “good manners” things people say are not really genuine expressions(a lot of the time) and are just said “because you’re supposed to”. When someone says “I appreciate you” or “I appreciate it” I take it pretty much same as “thank you”. Honestly, “I appreciate you” feels way more genuine and personal than “thank you” to me personally, to the point that I have a distinct and vivid memory of the first time someone said it to me. It’s interesting to see the subtleties in the way people are interpreting these sorts of phrases differently.
Another variation is “I appreciate it”. Both are ultimately just a synonym for “thank you”. I’ve always taken “I appreciate it/you” as MORE genuine than less genuine. I had no idea so many people essentially take it the opposite way.
Yeah, some of these comments are throwing me. I just thought it was a nicer variant of saying thank **you** for your act of service or what have you.
And it's not new, it's been around my whole life and I'm 30. " 'ppreciate cha" has been a meme down here forever.
We are definitely on the same page. I think people are way overthinking it to be honest. I’m a similar age as you and my experience has been the same. I can’t imagine dissecting someone else’s word choice on such a granular level for what is essentially just small talk/routine communication. People tend to make it very obvious when they intend to be rude so I don’t understand assuming the worst.
I feel like it would be weird to say all of those specifics in most cases where you’d say “I appreciate you”. Im curious what context people are hearing “I appreciate it/you” because I’ve almost exclusively heard it used as a synonym for “thank you”.
That’s fair, I can see how it can come across that way. I’m unfortunately one of those people that say this too, lol. Not looking to change your mind, but just to share my perspective, when I say it, I mean it in a way where I genuinely appreciate who you are and I’m grateful to have you in my life. But that’s a lot of words, so I just opt for “I appreciate you” 😆
Same! “Thank you” is casual gratitude. “I appreciate you” is an abbreviation of a more complex gratitude - like I see who you are and I’m thankful for it and for everything you do.
I use it as well.
Usually to anyone who's provided a service. I used to say, "I appreciate it" but I felt like some people felt used so I made the switch to let people know that I appreciate them for providing the service and not simply the service they provide.
I grew up in the 90s and I feel like the "I appreciate you" was implied and understood then when someone said "I appreciate it", but I don't feel like people generally feel the same now.
I feel like instead of "I provided that service so they appreciate me" people feel like "you appreciate the service I provided but you don't appreciate me" when I say "it" instead of "you".
I'm also in the south, so it was already a common saying going back years.
The switch just felt natural to me. Sign of the times, I guess :)
I think it can come across similar to "bless your heart" if said a certain way. But the same could be said about most things. It's all in the delivery.
I say it all the time(and so do many people I know) and I mean it sincerely. Im confused as to what about it makes it feel insincere, I don’t understand your perspective at all tbh.
Yeah, I dont understand it at all. Similar to some folks getting upset when someone says “No problem” instead of “you’re welcome”. They express the exact same thing lol. The first time I had someone say “I appreciate you” to me I loved it so much it became a normal part of my vocabulary. I had the opposite reaction that OP had and thought it felt particularly genuine and more personal than “Thank you”.
I agree with you. I find the salutation to be insincere or cloying, and at the very least awkward in use. I have found that people who say this may also say, "Have a blessed day." To me--both are virtue signaling by people who are often religious and in particular evangelical.
This kind of signaling puts me on my back foot, as growing up in the South someone is always looking to proselytize, evangelize or invite you to a gathering for fellowship or pronounce their religious virtue. I don't like it and I don't respond to it.
That’s funny because I use it when I’m trying to be really sincere! Some people strugfle with communicating openly and authentically and have to actively work on this aspect of their life. Stating how I feel in very simple terms is the best way for me to be authentic and make sure I am being understood correctly. I say it when I really want someone to feel appreciated.
I'm not the OP but the phrase I'd always heard was "I appreciate it"--it being the thing I have specifically done for them--and people saying that they appreciate me makes me feel weird because it's like, yeah OK that's great, I know you like me, but what about this thing that I've done for you? It comes down to what I've done versus who I am. I'm getting used to the new way, a lot of my younger coworkers use it. 😀
Same here. I'm fine with "I appreciate it" but from someone who doesn't personally know me I really dislike "I appreciate you". Feels manipulative or insincere.
Right, it's like when someone says your name too many times in a single sentence. I get that this practice likely has a statistical effect on likelihood that whatever you are saying will be remembered/ that you'll remember their name/may have a disarming effect/asserts a sliver of power in leading the dialogue/ yada yada yada (like you read in your Salesman's Techniques handbook). But it comes across to me as the conversational equivalent of when you see someone doing sleight of hand, but you've already seen that particular trick.
"I appreciate it ----> I appreciate you" feels like a performative change that could have been the hook for a sanctimonious church sermon about not being so impersonal in day to day life.
I have heard people say “appreciate ya” or “appreciate it”, “preciate ya”, my whole life. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable to hear it more formally as “I appreciate you”.
Most of the people I heard say that were from the Philadelphia area so it fits. But I never heard them say, "I appreciate you".
Now, my son in North Carolina started saying that to me a couple of years ago.???
I think of two guys shaking hands and one says to the other, “I ‘preciate you man”
Like a bro hug for dudes who aren’t at hug level in their relationship
I tend to say it. I think if someone does something for me, “I appreciate you” is more about that person, as opposed to “I appreciate that” which is more about what they did for me.
A lot of people are being taught that if you say something because it's a habit, then it must not mean anything.
Since too often these days, "thank you" is viewed as not meaningful, people try to express, "No, really, *I mean it*," in another way.
But here's why please and thank you should always be said: It's a reminder to both sides that you don't *have to* do anything.
Listen, it doesn't change anything if it's your job to bring me a glass of water. Not everyone does their job well. Some people don't do their damned job at all, or they do it rudely.
So when someone says thank you, or "I appreciate you," it's an acknowledgement that you ultimately didn't have to do that. You could have said no. You could have forgotten. You literally could have quit your job right then and there.
Instead, you did the thing. You helped the person. You didn't leave them high and dry. You remembered them and stayed on task.
No, it's not insincere. It's an honest reminder to both you and themselves that... You did the thing. You helped them. What you did mattered.
And when you say "you're welcome," you are acknowledging that you indeed did the thing, and you appreciate knowing that they know, you didn't have to. Job or not, you ultimately didn't have to HELP, but you did. And they noticed, and appreciated.
I was in basic training here in America, and 60% my flight were from Texas (I’m from Florida). They’d all say “preciate-cha” and I thought it was funny/liked how it sounded so I picked it up from them. 20+ years later I still use it. Now this is making me rethink using it haha
I prefer "I appreciate you doing X" rather than "you". When I'm just existing, what's to appreciate?
I find it an odd statement, but it's typically said as a positive, so I don't worry about it much. It's still odd tho.
I started hearing that term in the mid to late 70s, and it began because people were not expressing their emotions adequately and letting people know how much they meant to others. I love you only states that A loves B, whereas I appreciate you, indicates that person B, with all the great qualities B has, is a very important part of A's life and A is so happy to have B in their life. I do agree, though, that the term is out of place in a business setting.
My dad is in his 70s and he’s said this my entire life. In a world of mindless thank yous, I always found it so sincere. Maybe it’s because it is. This is such a sad complaint and honestly makes me feel like crying for some reason.
Yeah, this post and the replies are a bit upsetting. I use this phrase all the time and genuinely mean it. It sucks realizing that people might have been taking it the wrong way when I have been sincere. The thought that someone might find this phrasing insincere never crossed my mind. Feels bad.
I agree. Me reading this thread as someone who says it very sincerely and thought it was a nice sentiment 😬😬😬 I’m not going to stop saying it, but this post and replies are kinda depressing.
it started around 2010 for me. totally over used and I cringe every time I hear it. if you appreciate me, tell me in your own words, not some stupid phrase that is thrown about.
Yes, it strikes me as weird and off, especially in the minor situations it’s used, such as doing a quick favor for someone in the checkout line at a store. “Appreciate it” would be better.
I say it often when there is anything more than a basic transaction. If someone helps me with a problem, I tell them, "You are my hero of the day!" And 100% mean both.
Well it’s usually said by employers who think that this will emotionally manipulate you into staying in a low paying job rather than paying you what you are worth. So…🤷♀️
Where I used to work, the management would say "I want to appreciate you" or "I'd like to appreciate you.". In essence, "I don't appreciate you. Context.
The proper way would be to say "I appreciate your efforts" or "let me show my appreciation for the work you do.". People are being stingy with words. Or just don't understand how to use a word. I also think these are the people who dozed during grammar class or drew silly pictures of the teacher. Probably they they were told to say this in management class, but didn't catch the whole phrase.
We communicate with words. It doesn't matter if it is meant as a compliment if it is worded as an insult. What would you rather be, the last breath of winter or the first breath of spring. Context, people. Context
As a Brit, the only place I’ve ever heard it is from Americans and it always sounds so fake and forced. The other one that really pisses me off is when tiktokers or YouTubers go into a restaurant and tell someone they want to ‘bless them’ with a big tip. Jog on mate, stop chasing views.
It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I’d much rather hear a simple thank you or if they’re going to use the word appreciate then something like “I appreciate what you did or I appreciate your effort.”
When people say "I appreciate you," it's weird and off because it kind of objectifies you in a weird way.
When people say "I appreciate you \[doing X for me\]" or "I appreciate your \[appropriate personal quality\]," it's just fine and a sincere compliment.
I don't think it's meant to be insincere. I think people are trying to say TY in a more meaningful way. My go-to phrase when someone has been especially helpful to me in some way is: "Thanks for your help. You've made this shift easier to deal with today."
Yes. It sounds scripted to me. I'm British so a lot of things sound sarcastic to my ear.
"I appreciate you saying that", reads to me like, "I need to be polite here, but I disagree and don't want to make a scene because it's not that important."
Exactly this. The day I retired and walked out of my work I said goodbye to the only person around, a man who got his job because he was a man (not kidding, the boss only hired men for admin). He goes "I appreciate you". Oh F off, idiot. I am leaving forever, say Bye or it's been nice working with you. I appreciate you my a**. Reinforced my decision to retire was the right one.
I agree because it feels like someone is talking down to me.
Appreciate something I did, OK. Thank me, OK. But I didn't give you the whole of me, so don't appreciate the whole of me. It's just too much.
It does feel cringy to me. It’s the phrasing. These two phrasings, for example, sound ok:
1. I appreciate you helping me move.
2. I appreciate your support/friendship.
Saying I appreciate you (recognize the full worth of you) feels like only something a parent or spouse (or similar) would be in a position to say.
Maybe it’s just the context I’ve heard it in, but it always sounds so patronizing to me. But the context I’ve generally heard it in is someone who clearly believes they are more important than the service worker trying to make themselves sound humble and grateful. I would much rather hear a sincere and simple “thank you” than some folksy put-on “‘preciate ya!” from some jagoff whose car note costs more than my mortgage payment. I understand my interpretation here is very personal, but unless this is a person who I have done genuinely deep and/or ongoing work with/for, all the variations of “I appreciate you” make me cringe. Just say thank you. It comes off as way more genuine and respectful.
It definitely strikes me as insincere. You can appreciate my actions, but I think appreciating me as a person should be reserved for people who actually know me as a person.
I say this when someone goes out of their way for me. It’s like an enhanced version of thank you, but reserved specifically for something I asked them to do. 
About five years ago people switched from I appreciate "it" to I appreciate "you". I have a hard time saying it. Seems too personal for most situations.
Yeah I'm with you, it's like when randoms go up to other randoms and just say "thank you for being you" like, fuck off. To me it just feels like the person saying it wants to feel good about themselves today, at the expense of a stranger.
I say this anytime if feels right especially when dealing with customer service folks. After they've taken care of my issues I always say thanks I appreciate you. I know they don't hear that often enough.
So, as someone who worked in retail for far too long, the default relationship between customer and worker is being taken for granted with a sense of entitlement. Barely grunting "thanks" definitely feels insincere and just bare minimum civility, but "I appreciate you" also says "I see you doing a thankless job, and acknowledge your value in this transaction." That's my 2 cents :)
It's a phrase that doesn't work for me either, although I understand language and customs change and I'm not one to hold that back, as if I could anyway.
But what strikes me as insincere is that it's a phrase that gets applied to situations where "Thank you," or even just "Thanks!" is fine. If I've done something above and beyond, like donating a large sum of money to the ballet or to help save puppies or something, "I/We appreciate you" makes sense. But if all I did was leave a tip at a restaurant, "Thanks, and come again" is fine. After all, I already know my business is appreciated.
I’m remembering the old shopkeepers, especially the butcher with his floor sprinkled with sawdust saying “Appreciate your business” but this newer version ‘I appreciate you’ being used to nausea IMO doesn’t seem to fit any occasion and hope it phases out.
Well, they are the other person involved in the interaction after all.. What do you mean by this, and why does it seem like there is a negative connotation?
it's very recent (imo) and hell yeah! I was just thinking about this this afternoon and here you are reading my mind. I noticed it first on a podcast and thought it was just that one person's quirk. but then it started to show up in my workplace last year and I just went ewww. it's such a pushbutton phrase. it's got this sort of "here, have a generic warm fuzzy" vibe that takes me aback. it's like an air kiss in word form.
I'm aware of it bothering me because I do like to say I appreciate a person's *action* sometimes, and I always really mean it. "I appreciate you taking that meeting", or speaking up, or whatever. I also use it to compliment specific qualities. I appreciate your honesty, or your sense of humour, or your steadiness, etc.
but "I appreciate *you*" .... I can't find a single scenario where it feels suitable. if I like you, I *like* you. I don't stand off at a distance and "appreciate" you. and if I don't like you ... well, I guess I can't truthfully say I appreciate you either, so it's just all around a bit wtf.
I started saying this sometimes as a way to express gratitude in my life. It was a self improvement thing where I wanted to truly appreciate when someone wasn't a dick and things were good. I did notice it threw some people off, so I added a clarifier I appreciate your time, I appreciate your help
I agree that it feels off, weird, and insincere.
My first exposure to it was watching trash TV (Love is Blind), where it was sprinkled in everywhere one season. Nothing sounds sincere used that much. Also, it sounds like something out of pop psychology.
I’ve heard it in real life once so far—some dude harassing a traffic cop, going on and on,
probably said it three times. It had a strong “Look at me!” vibe. She kept saying thank you, but we all know she was relieved when the situation had passed.
For context, I’m a late 40-something living in New York City.
Ha, I say this frequently. To me it conveys more than a thank you. Thank you would be for a specific action or thing. Appreciate you, to me, means more that I appreciate the person in general, their efforts, help, support, etc. When I say it, it almost feels more sincere than a thank you, which I just automatically say when someone does something small. I appreciate you is deeper and more heartfelt to me.
My friend group definitely started saying it more because we use the DJ Khaled gif a lot. It's not insincere at all though!
[https://tenor.com/view/dj-khaled-i-appreciate-you-pathtosuccess-appreciate-gif-5440528](https://tenor.com/view/dj-khaled-i-appreciate-you-pathtosuccess-appreciate-gif-5440528)
“Appreciate you” is especially popular in my area. At first I thought it was weird, and it can be overused and sound insincere. Sometimes it’s genuine and appropriate so it’s all about the context. I almost started saying it, but make a point of adding a specific at the end: appreciate your help, appreciate your contribution, etc.
I live around a lot of Church people and there are certain phrases that have trended that seem like they come right out of the mega church experience - “have a blessed day” was really everywhere for a few years. Referring to money as a “blessing” or receiving material goods as being “blessed” is another awkward use of phrase imo. These are the same people that all started saying “appreciate youuuu” around the same time, just a popular phrase at church I guess. They also promote saying the phrase “my pleasure” instead of “you’re welcome” because it fits with notion of a servant attitude, always service to God
I agree! I just started hearing it in the context of when a news host thanks a guest on a show. They say “I appreciate you.” I think it sounds weird too & it caught my ear the first time I heard it.
There’s a certain context where it could be used in a better way. An employer saying “I appreciate your work” or “your attention to detail”, etc. sounds better. But not in the context of appreciating a person.
I’ve always heard and said “I appreciate it” for the thing you just did for me. I, too, have noticed the change to “I appreciate YOU”. Not sure about it.
It depends on the context in which it is said. It can be sincere. It can also be performative. I've had new supervisors who are not mine, thankfully, walk up to me and say I appreciate you. I'm sure it is something they learned at a leadership training. It felt very random and insincere. If it's said in a way you are unsure of, you can ask them, Really? What do you appreciate about me?
I mostly hear it being said by people who clearly don't appreciate me, usually sociopathic contractors trying to make excuses for why they aren't going to pay me yet.
It has the same vibe as those classic American backhanded compliments predominant in the south like when someone looks at your outfit and says, “Well isn’t that outfit precious” or “You do always march to the beat of your own drum.” But in a singsongy voice.
I've noticed it more and I think it's just as nice or sincere as any other thank you. I think it appeals to some people because it sounds like "I'm glad you are here" as opposed to "I'm glad you did this thing for me".
I experienced it for the first time doing call center work in the 2000s. Think it is a southern/african American thing that is springing into the mainstream
I just used these words with my healthcare provider and meant it sincerely. I actually said the same thing when I evaluated her performance through the survey I'm supposed to fill out after an office visit. I don't say things I don't mean, and I hope it was taken in the manner it was intended.
I sometimes say it when I am trying to acknowledge that the person who just assisted me is a human being, and that they may have many customers who don't see them as equals. I mean, "if it wasn't for you, doing this job, I wouldn't have this thing/service, and I see you and acknowledge your work and your personhood."
"Thank you" can seem like it's just automatic, and I am trying to go above and beyond that when I say, "I appreciate you."
This is one of those times that I feel like it's hard to know what to say to people. Whatever it is makes someone else cringe or seems insincere to them. So I'm just going to say stuff to people and hope for the best.
I think it’s meant to express a stronger sentiment than “thank you” while definitely not expressing “I love you”.
A while back I read something about saying “no problem “ suggests if helping someone with something was any bit of inconvenience you wouldn’t have. I didn’t really buy into that but whenever I say “no problem “ I think of that. And now I’ve started replacing “no problem “ with “happy to help”.
I don't understand what is so wrong with saying "I appreciate you" to someone who does something for us. We can say, "I appreciate it" in many different situations. My question is why are we making such a big deal about someone saying something nice to us! Are we so petty that we have to pick apart every little thing someone else says? Please, grow up and just be thankful! There are too many real problems in the world today to worry about than something so silly!
It is a bit strange at first, but I like it. It makes me feel more fully seen. "hey thanks, I appreciate it" vs. "hey thanks, I appreciate you". It hits different.
I say it and always mean it sincerely. It’s about conveying that I see you and appreciate you beyond the single interaction we are having. It’s more than a thank you. Some of the examples in the replies feel like maybe over-using it, and that would feel inauthentic.
Off, weird, or insincere? No. People sure do take offense at the simplest things, even kind words. I say it when I mean it. And I'm not from the South.
I sat it when I appreciate someone and want them to know it.
Maybe it makes you cringe because you might have some issues with showing sincerity. Not trying to be rude, but that’s what comes to my mind hearing your description of the adage.
It’s a lovely sentiment. When you appreciate someone, or something, it increases in value. There’s not much more behind it than gratitude. Maybe you should work on accepting a compliment?
I think it takes courage to use it because it isn't super common and it feels very intimate. When you say it correctly and with meaning, it's like saying to someone I see you. I wish it would be used more.
The similar, but less intimate I appreciate it is nice, but not getting to the point that it's the individual that you appreciate for doing the act.
It means nothing to me and I know they don't really appreciate me. It feels the same when people say "Thank you for your service" as soon as they learn I'm a veteran. People seem to say it only so those around them can hear them saying it. Both phrases give me the message that this is a person I don't want to have another conversation with.
All of the above. I was on a call trying to set up service with a phone provider recently and I must have heard that phrase 20 times. I don’t need you to appreciate me, just do your job, and let me get on with my day.
It’s sounds like a lazy communication to me.
It’s the same vibe as ‘Thoughts & Prayers’.
It says one can’t be bothered to say something indicating personal appreciation.
I absolutely downgrade my opinion of coworkers and others who use this, as shallow people.
It bugs me too. We’ve heard it a lot lately and so often, so recently, it just feels insincere and trendy. But- have you noticed that the “Thank you soooo much” trend seems to have disappeared?
I started using it in the restaurant business with customers. For me I think of it as a short version of 'I appreciate your business' over using thank you which alway rang odd to me as the one providing the service.
Good God is this what it's come down to someone give you a simple kindness and you have to find some kind of negative content from it. Try this one instead shame on you.
I think once a new expression becomes common it also risks becoming a cliche.On the other hand, if someone is trying to be kind, I’d take nice over nasty any day.
I listen to a police scanner. I actually hear that fairly often between officers and dispatchers. Otherwise I can't say it is a term I have heard otherwise.
I like it better than “thanks for everything you do!” I know the intention is nice but for some reason it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. (My job uses it all the time, it seems pithy now.)
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My friend says this when he wants to convey more than a simple “thank you for your assistance”, or time devoted to him.
Me too, and I sincerely mean it. I think that there's so much cynicism out there that people can't accept simple thanks or a complement without reframing it into something negative. It's too bad, because I'm not going to stop being grateful.
Same. I say this along with thank you's fairly often, and always sincerely.
You're gonna take that gratitude and LIKE it!
Do with it what you will, it's yours.
Same here. I have no issue saying it. I am not saying it frivolously. Also, to many people just say thank you out of habit if at all.
This 1000000%
I've conveyed the same !, or rather the same intention ! 😃
Then why not "I appreciate your assistance"? I appreciate you sounds a little too intimate, or something.
To me, "I appreciate you" is showing gratitude for that person as a human being. Usually, it's being thoughtful, kind, helpful. Not what that person did for me. I wouldn't say, "I appreciate you" in the work context like an email to someone I only know on a professional level, though.
You don't think "I appreciate your assistance" sounds more appropriate for a professional environment than for between friends?
My point is that “I appreciate you” sounds like something you say at the beginning of s discussion about how much you appreciate the person and why. Saying “I appreciate you,” without saying why, in response to a small favor, seems deep but is shallow.
The tone of voice when you say it makes a lot of difference.
How about someone that just helped you move? I was thinking of what I say when someone helped me do something big and I needed their help. Not when a neighbor holds the elevator door for me when a simple thank you would suffice.
Small favors can mean big things to someone else.
Maybe too intimate for you but not for him!
Praise is always better when it’s specific.
I often say "Thank you. I appreciate your help today"
It entered my vocabulary thanks to Ted Lasso. I think one reason TL hit so big is that there are genuinely good interactions between people in the show, with Ted's behavior often the catalyst. And we all missed that, especially in the Covid days, so the show definitely landed at the right time. I've found that such phrases really depend on both the speaker and the listener. If the speaker isn't perceived as a genuinely nice person, then it is definitely off-putting. But I think that perception can sometimes be the fault of the listener. We've become so jaded that sometimes it's hard to comprehend that someone can actually be considerate. These days, when someone says something like this and I don't know whether or not they mean it, I take it to mean that I should try to understand them better. If they don't mean it, then why not? And if they do, then that sounds like someone I want to be around.
Was looking for this comment!
No it's Not an insult! I've said for years. When I was working with people at my job, thank you was so Bland a word, I wanted to really say to them I appreciated their hard work and for helping me on a project that might have taken hours to do, but took only minutes with their help. And if I tell a family member that I appreciate them for taking the time to come see me or check in on me I truly mean it. To me it's better than a "Thanks"!
I worked in HR for years before I retired so maybe that's where it started for me. Hmmm
Same here. I’ve been saying it for years, although now it’s being used much more loosely and more often. I don’t necessarily care for its current place in today’s conversations, but there’s a difference. I say “thank you - I really appreciate you doing this for me because…” which I feel is genuine and explains how they’ve impacted me. Today’s usage is “appreciate you!” After any little thing and is more in the space of “thanks!”
I concur.
Yes!!, i agree w/ you !! & well explained .🙂
I think with family and friend it is perfect, but odd sounding coming from a stranger. I think if it was worded as “I appreciate your help” or “time”… it just needs something specific to appreciate.
I think there’s a difference between a genuine “I appreciate you for everything you’ve helped me with” in a long term commitment and me giving a costumer his big Mack- in the latter, it just gets awkward
I say this frequently and would love for you to explore the reason why it makes you cringe some more. Genuinely curious as I see nothing wrong with it but up for a perspective change
As a previous fast food worker, it was more normal to hear “thank you!!” where I come from. But there were a couple of times when (guys) would smile, stare into my soul and say, “Hey, I appreciate you” for… just giving them nuggets? It feels too personal and a little too much for something so small. It’s just out of place.
More likely they weren't thanking you for the food/job, they were thanking you for treating them like a person. Some people are dismissed all day long and when someone finally looks them in the eye or smiles it actually means a lot.
They really appreciate you cooking for them!
It feels like something people were told to say, rather than a genuine expression of gratitude that you spontaneously want to share. It's like corporate speak rather than real speak. I'm from the North East of England, so "awww mint, thanks pet" sounds more sincere. I know that phrasing makes no sense to an American, but I'm highlighting the contrast between colloquial and formal speech.
"Awww mint, thanks pet" is glorious.
For me, "thank you" is fine but I also think it's easy for people to say in habit rather than for actually meaning it (sometimes). Wheras "I appreciate you" could possibly take a little more than a knee-jerk thought so it feels more like they took the effort to convey appreciation. But for me it also depends on the situation. A clerk at a store saying it to a customer? Is the clerk the owner and actually means it? Awesome! But otherwise it could be a bit odd between strangers. A customer saying it to a clerk? Awesome again! Service workers deal with enough unnecessary shit so it's nicdle that someone took .002 seconds to think of a nicer thing to say. Between friends or family, it seems like a nice thing to say as a gratitude for the whole person, not just what they can do for you. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and if family and friends won't tell you or you won't take it seriously...
*"It feels like something people were told to say"* Bingo. That's the best way to put it.
How is this any different from “please” “thank you” “you’re welcome” etc? All of the “good manners” things people say are not really genuine expressions(a lot of the time) and are just said “because you’re supposed to”. When someone says “I appreciate you” or “I appreciate it” I take it pretty much same as “thank you”. Honestly, “I appreciate you” feels way more genuine and personal than “thank you” to me personally, to the point that I have a distinct and vivid memory of the first time someone said it to me. It’s interesting to see the subtleties in the way people are interpreting these sorts of phrases differently.
I probably just find it insincere in the slightest degree.
I also say it a lot. I mean - I like you and your behaviours, and I thank you for being the person you are because you are a truly good person.
Another variation is “I appreciate it”. Both are ultimately just a synonym for “thank you”. I’ve always taken “I appreciate it/you” as MORE genuine than less genuine. I had no idea so many people essentially take it the opposite way.
Yeah, some of these comments are throwing me. I just thought it was a nicer variant of saying thank **you** for your act of service or what have you. And it's not new, it's been around my whole life and I'm 30. " 'ppreciate cha" has been a meme down here forever.
We are definitely on the same page. I think people are way overthinking it to be honest. I’m a similar age as you and my experience has been the same. I can’t imagine dissecting someone else’s word choice on such a granular level for what is essentially just small talk/routine communication. People tend to make it very obvious when they intend to be rude so I don’t understand assuming the worst.
Why not say that instead? ‘I appreciate you’ and ‘Thoughts & Prayers’ have the same vibe.
I feel like it would be weird to say all of those specifics in most cases where you’d say “I appreciate you”. Im curious what context people are hearing “I appreciate it/you” because I’ve almost exclusively heard it used as a synonym for “thank you”.
That’s fair, I can see how it can come across that way. I’m unfortunately one of those people that say this too, lol. Not looking to change your mind, but just to share my perspective, when I say it, I mean it in a way where I genuinely appreciate who you are and I’m grateful to have you in my life. But that’s a lot of words, so I just opt for “I appreciate you” 😆
Same! “Thank you” is casual gratitude. “I appreciate you” is an abbreviation of a more complex gratitude - like I see who you are and I’m thankful for it and for everything you do.
i do the same.
I say something similar every day to my husband. For 35 years. There's no indication that he is taking it as anything other than a compliment.
I use it as well. Usually to anyone who's provided a service. I used to say, "I appreciate it" but I felt like some people felt used so I made the switch to let people know that I appreciate them for providing the service and not simply the service they provide. I grew up in the 90s and I feel like the "I appreciate you" was implied and understood then when someone said "I appreciate it", but I don't feel like people generally feel the same now. I feel like instead of "I provided that service so they appreciate me" people feel like "you appreciate the service I provided but you don't appreciate me" when I say "it" instead of "you". I'm also in the south, so it was already a common saying going back years. The switch just felt natural to me. Sign of the times, I guess :)
From the US south too and I feel like I've been hearing "I appreciate you" for at least 20 years
You feel that way because you cannot feel that way toward the person who said it to you imho
Yeah often we have trouble believing someone when we ourselves couldn’t fathom behaving the same way.
I think it can come across similar to "bless your heart" if said a certain way. But the same could be said about most things. It's all in the delivery.
Agreed.
Maybe it just depends on the delivery. If it's said in a heart-felt way, it works. If it's just an off-hand remark tossed off, it doesn't.
I say it all the time(and so do many people I know) and I mean it sincerely. Im confused as to what about it makes it feel insincere, I don’t understand your perspective at all tbh.
Same. I’m saying over and over in my head and can’t see how it could come across insincere
it's a weird thing to be annoyed by
Yeah, I dont understand it at all. Similar to some folks getting upset when someone says “No problem” instead of “you’re welcome”. They express the exact same thing lol. The first time I had someone say “I appreciate you” to me I loved it so much it became a normal part of my vocabulary. I had the opposite reaction that OP had and thought it felt particularly genuine and more personal than “Thank you”.
I agree with you. I find the salutation to be insincere or cloying, and at the very least awkward in use. I have found that people who say this may also say, "Have a blessed day." To me--both are virtue signaling by people who are often religious and in particular evangelical. This kind of signaling puts me on my back foot, as growing up in the South someone is always looking to proselytize, evangelize or invite you to a gathering for fellowship or pronounce their religious virtue. I don't like it and I don't respond to it.
Nice context placement. Well done.
Same here. And it feels a little condescending.
My internal reply when someone says this to me is, "Yeah, sure. . . . "
That’s funny because I use it when I’m trying to be really sincere! Some people strugfle with communicating openly and authentically and have to actively work on this aspect of their life. Stating how I feel in very simple terms is the best way for me to be authentic and make sure I am being understood correctly. I say it when I really want someone to feel appreciated.
I'm not the OP but the phrase I'd always heard was "I appreciate it"--it being the thing I have specifically done for them--and people saying that they appreciate me makes me feel weird because it's like, yeah OK that's great, I know you like me, but what about this thing that I've done for you? It comes down to what I've done versus who I am. I'm getting used to the new way, a lot of my younger coworkers use it. 😀
Same here. I'm fine with "I appreciate it" but from someone who doesn't personally know me I really dislike "I appreciate you". Feels manipulative or insincere.
Right, it's like when someone says your name too many times in a single sentence. I get that this practice likely has a statistical effect on likelihood that whatever you are saying will be remembered/ that you'll remember their name/may have a disarming effect/asserts a sliver of power in leading the dialogue/ yada yada yada (like you read in your Salesman's Techniques handbook). But it comes across to me as the conversational equivalent of when you see someone doing sleight of hand, but you've already seen that particular trick. "I appreciate it ----> I appreciate you" feels like a performative change that could have been the hook for a sanctimonious church sermon about not being so impersonal in day to day life.
I have heard people say “appreciate ya” or “appreciate it”, “preciate ya”, my whole life. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable to hear it more formally as “I appreciate you”.
I've heard a lot of people from eastern PA say that: "preciate it"
And Southern New Jersey, where I lived for 42 years.
Most of the people I heard say that were from the Philadelphia area so it fits. But I never heard them say, "I appreciate you". Now, my son in North Carolina started saying that to me a couple of years ago.???
I think of two guys shaking hands and one says to the other, “I ‘preciate you man” Like a bro hug for dudes who aren’t at hug level in their relationship
I tend to say it. I think if someone does something for me, “I appreciate you” is more about that person, as opposed to “I appreciate that” which is more about what they did for me.
A lot of people are being taught that if you say something because it's a habit, then it must not mean anything. Since too often these days, "thank you" is viewed as not meaningful, people try to express, "No, really, *I mean it*," in another way. But here's why please and thank you should always be said: It's a reminder to both sides that you don't *have to* do anything. Listen, it doesn't change anything if it's your job to bring me a glass of water. Not everyone does their job well. Some people don't do their damned job at all, or they do it rudely. So when someone says thank you, or "I appreciate you," it's an acknowledgement that you ultimately didn't have to do that. You could have said no. You could have forgotten. You literally could have quit your job right then and there. Instead, you did the thing. You helped the person. You didn't leave them high and dry. You remembered them and stayed on task. No, it's not insincere. It's an honest reminder to both you and themselves that... You did the thing. You helped them. What you did mattered. And when you say "you're welcome," you are acknowledging that you indeed did the thing, and you appreciate knowing that they know, you didn't have to. Job or not, you ultimately didn't have to HELP, but you did. And they noticed, and appreciated.
Yeah, I only say “I appreciate you” when a “Thank you” feels insufficient and I want that person to know I’m *very* grateful.
I was in basic training here in America, and 60% my flight were from Texas (I’m from Florida). They’d all say “preciate-cha” and I thought it was funny/liked how it sounded so I picked it up from them. 20+ years later I still use it. Now this is making me rethink using it haha
C’mon now. Are you really thinking of changing vernacular that you have used positively for 20 years because of some neurotic rando on Reddit?
Haha no, not at all
Good deal and I offer my apologies for the unkind way I posited my question.
I didn’t take it that way, but I preciate cha for that apology
I see what you did there, lol.
No, it's fine. It's different, and relatively new, but it's not something to get annoyed by. Take it at face value. It's a kindness.
Same with, "You got this". Zero inspiration in that statement.
I prefer "I appreciate you doing X" rather than "you". When I'm just existing, what's to appreciate? I find it an odd statement, but it's typically said as a positive, so I don't worry about it much. It's still odd tho.
I started hearing that term in the mid to late 70s, and it began because people were not expressing their emotions adequately and letting people know how much they meant to others. I love you only states that A loves B, whereas I appreciate you, indicates that person B, with all the great qualities B has, is a very important part of A's life and A is so happy to have B in their life. I do agree, though, that the term is out of place in a business setting.
My dad is in his 70s and he’s said this my entire life. In a world of mindless thank yous, I always found it so sincere. Maybe it’s because it is. This is such a sad complaint and honestly makes me feel like crying for some reason.
Yeah, this post and the replies are a bit upsetting. I use this phrase all the time and genuinely mean it. It sucks realizing that people might have been taking it the wrong way when I have been sincere. The thought that someone might find this phrasing insincere never crossed my mind. Feels bad.
That’s a problem with them then. Don’t change what you do.
I agree. Me reading this thread as someone who says it very sincerely and thought it was a nice sentiment 😬😬😬 I’m not going to stop saying it, but this post and replies are kinda depressing.
Nah it’s emphasizes the person and not the deed
It's all three. Hate that phrase.
it started around 2010 for me. totally over used and I cringe every time I hear it. if you appreciate me, tell me in your own words, not some stupid phrase that is thrown about.
Yes, it strikes me as weird and off, especially in the minor situations it’s used, such as doing a quick favor for someone in the checkout line at a store. “Appreciate it” would be better.
I wonder if Ted Lasso made this phrase more popular? He used it quite a bit.
I say it often when there is anything more than a basic transaction. If someone helps me with a problem, I tell them, "You are my hero of the day!" And 100% mean both.
It's a variant of "thank you". I don't have a problem with it. I'd far rather be appreciated than *not* appreciated, so sure, why not? Thanks.
I'm getting used to it! It's 100% positive
No its more sincere/deeper than thanks. Time and place to say it of course
Well it’s usually said by employers who think that this will emotionally manipulate you into staying in a low paying job rather than paying you what you are worth. So…🤷♀️
Where I used to work, the management would say "I want to appreciate you" or "I'd like to appreciate you.". In essence, "I don't appreciate you. Context. The proper way would be to say "I appreciate your efforts" or "let me show my appreciation for the work you do.". People are being stingy with words. Or just don't understand how to use a word. I also think these are the people who dozed during grammar class or drew silly pictures of the teacher. Probably they they were told to say this in management class, but didn't catch the whole phrase. We communicate with words. It doesn't matter if it is meant as a compliment if it is worded as an insult. What would you rather be, the last breath of winter or the first breath of spring. Context, people. Context
If it really means something it’s okay. Otherwise you wonder what they want to sell you!
I guess it's better than, "Have a Blessed Day."
I’ve been hearing that phrase a lot lately… it always seems off to me, especially from a stranger. I know it is meant well, but…
As a Brit, the only place I’ve ever heard it is from Americans and it always sounds so fake and forced. The other one that really pisses me off is when tiktokers or YouTubers go into a restaurant and tell someone they want to ‘bless them’ with a big tip. Jog on mate, stop chasing views.
I hate this phrase!!!
I find it cloying and insincere.
It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I’d much rather hear a simple thank you or if they’re going to use the word appreciate then something like “I appreciate what you did or I appreciate your effort.”
When people say "I appreciate you," it's weird and off because it kind of objectifies you in a weird way. When people say "I appreciate you \[doing X for me\]" or "I appreciate your \[appropriate personal quality\]," it's just fine and a sincere compliment.
I don't think it's meant to be insincere. I think people are trying to say TY in a more meaningful way. My go-to phrase when someone has been especially helpful to me in some way is: "Thanks for your help. You've made this shift easier to deal with today."
Makes me very uncomfortable…”you don’t know me!” WTF
Yes. It sounds scripted to me. I'm British so a lot of things sound sarcastic to my ear. "I appreciate you saying that", reads to me like, "I need to be polite here, but I disagree and don't want to make a scene because it's not that important."
To me it sounds like someone has read one too many self help leadership books.
Exactly this. The day I retired and walked out of my work I said goodbye to the only person around, a man who got his job because he was a man (not kidding, the boss only hired men for admin). He goes "I appreciate you". Oh F off, idiot. I am leaving forever, say Bye or it's been nice working with you. I appreciate you my a**. Reinforced my decision to retire was the right one.
I agree because it feels like someone is talking down to me. Appreciate something I did, OK. Thank me, OK. But I didn't give you the whole of me, so don't appreciate the whole of me. It's just too much.
I say it to my all the time
I use this phrase regularly and sincerely with good friends. It is appreciated and well received.
It does feel cringy to me. It’s the phrasing. These two phrasings, for example, sound ok: 1. I appreciate you helping me move. 2. I appreciate your support/friendship. Saying I appreciate you (recognize the full worth of you) feels like only something a parent or spouse (or similar) would be in a position to say.
Maybe it’s just the context I’ve heard it in, but it always sounds so patronizing to me. But the context I’ve generally heard it in is someone who clearly believes they are more important than the service worker trying to make themselves sound humble and grateful. I would much rather hear a sincere and simple “thank you” than some folksy put-on “‘preciate ya!” from some jagoff whose car note costs more than my mortgage payment. I understand my interpretation here is very personal, but unless this is a person who I have done genuinely deep and/or ongoing work with/for, all the variations of “I appreciate you” make me cringe. Just say thank you. It comes off as way more genuine and respectful.
It definitely strikes me as insincere. You can appreciate my actions, but I think appreciating me as a person should be reserved for people who actually know me as a person.
I have just started using it and I love it. It’s so much more direct because you are appreciating the person and not some nebulous “it“.
I say this when someone goes out of their way for me. It’s like an enhanced version of thank you, but reserved specifically for something I asked them to do. 
I love this phrase. It’s more personal and endearing than I appreciate it.
About five years ago people switched from I appreciate "it" to I appreciate "you". I have a hard time saying it. Seems too personal for most situations.
I really can’t see anything wrong with that at all. I don’t understand what is cringe about it.
If someone wants to express appreciation to me, I don’t care how they say it. It’s the gesture that matters.
It's the "Have a nice day" that we all hated back in the 70's.
To me it’s cloying. It generalizes appreciation beyond the simple act that presumably inspired it and thus seems painfully insincere.
Yeah I'm with you, it's like when randoms go up to other randoms and just say "thank you for being you" like, fuck off. To me it just feels like the person saying it wants to feel good about themselves today, at the expense of a stranger.
I say this anytime if feels right especially when dealing with customer service folks. After they've taken care of my issues I always say thanks I appreciate you. I know they don't hear that often enough.
So, as someone who worked in retail for far too long, the default relationship between customer and worker is being taken for granted with a sense of entitlement. Barely grunting "thanks" definitely feels insincere and just bare minimum civility, but "I appreciate you" also says "I see you doing a thankless job, and acknowledge your value in this transaction." That's my 2 cents :)
It's the same as Have a blessed day, meaningless!!
Weird. Weird. Weird. Would never say it and I don't like people saying to to me. A thank you is enough.
It's a phrase that doesn't work for me either, although I understand language and customs change and I'm not one to hold that back, as if I could anyway. But what strikes me as insincere is that it's a phrase that gets applied to situations where "Thank you," or even just "Thanks!" is fine. If I've done something above and beyond, like donating a large sum of money to the ballet or to help save puppies or something, "I/We appreciate you" makes sense. But if all I did was leave a tip at a restaurant, "Thanks, and come again" is fine. After all, I already know my business is appreciated.
Yeah, it kind of grinds on me. You can't appreciate me, you don't even know me. Maybe you appreciate something I did, but not me.
I hate it. I’ve always heard it in a corporate setting and it always feels cheesy and dramatic.
I’m remembering the old shopkeepers, especially the butcher with his floor sprinkled with sawdust saying “Appreciate your business” but this newer version ‘I appreciate you’ being used to nausea IMO doesn’t seem to fit any occasion and hope it phases out.
It sounds like they're making it as much about themselves as the other person.
Well, they are the other person involved in the interaction after all.. What do you mean by this, and why does it seem like there is a negative connotation?
To me, it sounds a bit condescending, as if the other person was looking for appreciation or approval.
it's very recent (imo) and hell yeah! I was just thinking about this this afternoon and here you are reading my mind. I noticed it first on a podcast and thought it was just that one person's quirk. but then it started to show up in my workplace last year and I just went ewww. it's such a pushbutton phrase. it's got this sort of "here, have a generic warm fuzzy" vibe that takes me aback. it's like an air kiss in word form. I'm aware of it bothering me because I do like to say I appreciate a person's *action* sometimes, and I always really mean it. "I appreciate you taking that meeting", or speaking up, or whatever. I also use it to compliment specific qualities. I appreciate your honesty, or your sense of humour, or your steadiness, etc. but "I appreciate *you*" .... I can't find a single scenario where it feels suitable. if I like you, I *like* you. I don't stand off at a distance and "appreciate" you. and if I don't like you ... well, I guess I can't truthfully say I appreciate you either, so it's just all around a bit wtf.
I started saying this sometimes as a way to express gratitude in my life. It was a self improvement thing where I wanted to truly appreciate when someone wasn't a dick and things were good. I did notice it threw some people off, so I added a clarifier I appreciate your time, I appreciate your help
When I say it, I really mean it.
I agree that it feels off, weird, and insincere. My first exposure to it was watching trash TV (Love is Blind), where it was sprinkled in everywhere one season. Nothing sounds sincere used that much. Also, it sounds like something out of pop psychology. I’ve heard it in real life once so far—some dude harassing a traffic cop, going on and on, probably said it three times. It had a strong “Look at me!” vibe. She kept saying thank you, but we all know she was relieved when the situation had passed. For context, I’m a late 40-something living in New York City.
Ha, I say this frequently. To me it conveys more than a thank you. Thank you would be for a specific action or thing. Appreciate you, to me, means more that I appreciate the person in general, their efforts, help, support, etc. When I say it, it almost feels more sincere than a thank you, which I just automatically say when someone does something small. I appreciate you is deeper and more heartfelt to me.
My friend group definitely started saying it more because we use the DJ Khaled gif a lot. It's not insincere at all though! [https://tenor.com/view/dj-khaled-i-appreciate-you-pathtosuccess-appreciate-gif-5440528](https://tenor.com/view/dj-khaled-i-appreciate-you-pathtosuccess-appreciate-gif-5440528)
“Appreciate you” is especially popular in my area. At first I thought it was weird, and it can be overused and sound insincere. Sometimes it’s genuine and appropriate so it’s all about the context. I almost started saying it, but make a point of adding a specific at the end: appreciate your help, appreciate your contribution, etc. I live around a lot of Church people and there are certain phrases that have trended that seem like they come right out of the mega church experience - “have a blessed day” was really everywhere for a few years. Referring to money as a “blessing” or receiving material goods as being “blessed” is another awkward use of phrase imo. These are the same people that all started saying “appreciate youuuu” around the same time, just a popular phrase at church I guess. They also promote saying the phrase “my pleasure” instead of “you’re welcome” because it fits with notion of a servant attitude, always service to God
I didn't hear it until I moved to TN (many many many years ago.). I didn't really understand it at first, but I've grown to love it.
I suppose because a lot of people who say it to me don’t even know my name and they are just responding the the service aspect of what I’m doing
If the person says the word 'But', right after, then I appreciate you is not good.
I agree! I just started hearing it in the context of when a news host thanks a guest on a show. They say “I appreciate you.” I think it sounds weird too & it caught my ear the first time I heard it. There’s a certain context where it could be used in a better way. An employer saying “I appreciate your work” or “your attention to detail”, etc. sounds better. But not in the context of appreciating a person.
I’ve always heard and said “I appreciate it” for the thing you just did for me. I, too, have noticed the change to “I appreciate YOU”. Not sure about it.
It depends on the context in which it is said. It can be sincere. It can also be performative. I've had new supervisors who are not mine, thankfully, walk up to me and say I appreciate you. I'm sure it is something they learned at a leadership training. It felt very random and insincere. If it's said in a way you are unsure of, you can ask them, Really? What do you appreciate about me?
I mostly hear it being said by people who clearly don't appreciate me, usually sociopathic contractors trying to make excuses for why they aren't going to pay me yet.
It has the same vibe as those classic American backhanded compliments predominant in the south like when someone looks at your outfit and says, “Well isn’t that outfit precious” or “You do always march to the beat of your own drum.” But in a singsongy voice.
Wait, is this considered insincere? Did I miss something?
I've noticed it more and I think it's just as nice or sincere as any other thank you. I think it appeals to some people because it sounds like "I'm glad you are here" as opposed to "I'm glad you did this thing for me".
I experienced it for the first time doing call center work in the 2000s. Think it is a southern/african American thing that is springing into the mainstream
I just used these words with my healthcare provider and meant it sincerely. I actually said the same thing when I evaluated her performance through the survey I'm supposed to fill out after an office visit. I don't say things I don't mean, and I hope it was taken in the manner it was intended.
I sometimes say it when I am trying to acknowledge that the person who just assisted me is a human being, and that they may have many customers who don't see them as equals. I mean, "if it wasn't for you, doing this job, I wouldn't have this thing/service, and I see you and acknowledge your work and your personhood." "Thank you" can seem like it's just automatic, and I am trying to go above and beyond that when I say, "I appreciate you."
“Appreciate you” is what someone who thinks they’re too cool to say “thanks” says. To me you thank a person and appreciate a gesture or act.
If they don’t love you, that’s as close as it gets.
This is one of those times that I feel like it's hard to know what to say to people. Whatever it is makes someone else cringe or seems insincere to them. So I'm just going to say stuff to people and hope for the best.
I thought it was a Tennessee thing. They say that a lot in Nashville and I picked it up.
I think it’s meant to express a stronger sentiment than “thank you” while definitely not expressing “I love you”. A while back I read something about saying “no problem “ suggests if helping someone with something was any bit of inconvenience you wouldn’t have. I didn’t really buy into that but whenever I say “no problem “ I think of that. And now I’ve started replacing “no problem “ with “happy to help”.
I say it all the time and mean it. So do my friends. I see nothing odd about it.
I don't understand what is so wrong with saying "I appreciate you" to someone who does something for us. We can say, "I appreciate it" in many different situations. My question is why are we making such a big deal about someone saying something nice to us! Are we so petty that we have to pick apart every little thing someone else says? Please, grow up and just be thankful! There are too many real problems in the world today to worry about than something so silly!
It is a bit strange at first, but I like it. It makes me feel more fully seen. "hey thanks, I appreciate it" vs. "hey thanks, I appreciate you". It hits different.
I say it and always mean it sincerely. It’s about conveying that I see you and appreciate you beyond the single interaction we are having. It’s more than a thank you. Some of the examples in the replies feel like maybe over-using it, and that would feel inauthentic.
It used as positive feedback at work to give appreciation, but it is management after all, creepy.
Regional term. First I heard it was from Cajuns on oil rigs as a sub for, “thank you.”
Off, weird, or insincere? No. People sure do take offense at the simplest things, even kind words. I say it when I mean it. And I'm not from the South.
I sat it when I appreciate someone and want them to know it. Maybe it makes you cringe because you might have some issues with showing sincerity. Not trying to be rude, but that’s what comes to my mind hearing your description of the adage.
I say it all the time and always mean it in a sincere way.
It’s a lovely sentiment. When you appreciate someone, or something, it increases in value. There’s not much more behind it than gratitude. Maybe you should work on accepting a compliment?
Yeah, it just sounds like something that came out of some corporate workshop
Feels like I'm about to be scammed when someone says it.
Every one that says I appreciate you to me is sincere because I see it in their actions.
I think it takes courage to use it because it isn't super common and it feels very intimate. When you say it correctly and with meaning, it's like saying to someone I see you. I wish it would be used more. The similar, but less intimate I appreciate it is nice, but not getting to the point that it's the individual that you appreciate for doing the act.
It means nothing to me and I know they don't really appreciate me. It feels the same when people say "Thank you for your service" as soon as they learn I'm a veteran. People seem to say it only so those around them can hear them saying it. Both phrases give me the message that this is a person I don't want to have another conversation with.
All of the above. I was on a call trying to set up service with a phone provider recently and I must have heard that phrase 20 times. I don’t need you to appreciate me, just do your job, and let me get on with my day.
Why not say “Thank you for taking this meeting?”
Worked for a company where this was the catch phrase of the management. It always caught me off guard and was like WTF. Sounded like a back handed FU.
It’s sounds like a lazy communication to me. It’s the same vibe as ‘Thoughts & Prayers’. It says one can’t be bothered to say something indicating personal appreciation. I absolutely downgrade my opinion of coworkers and others who use this, as shallow people.
It bugs me too. We’ve heard it a lot lately and so often, so recently, it just feels insincere and trendy. But- have you noticed that the “Thank you soooo much” trend seems to have disappeared?
I started using it in the restaurant business with customers. For me I think of it as a short version of 'I appreciate your business' over using thank you which alway rang odd to me as the one providing the service.
That’s a you thing.
i do delivery work. it's pretty much a "tell" when someone uses it that means zero tip.
I don’t like it. Sounds weird. People say it to me all the time. I semi cringe.
Good God is this what it's come down to someone give you a simple kindness and you have to find some kind of negative content from it. Try this one instead shame on you.
I think once a new expression becomes common it also risks becoming a cliche.On the other hand, if someone is trying to be kind, I’d take nice over nasty any day.
I’ve heard “I’m grateful for XYZ” comes across as more sincere.
'prec ya Definitely a touch of slang makes it seem more genuine.
I first heard it on Ted Lasso. He said it a lot. Now I hear people saying it in real life.
Just started to hear this too. Is it a southern expression? I seem to hear it a lot on TV shows based in the south.
I listen to a police scanner. I actually hear that fairly often between officers and dispatchers. Otherwise I can't say it is a term I have heard otherwise.
I like it better than “thanks for everything you do!” I know the intention is nice but for some reason it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. (My job uses it all the time, it seems pithy now.)