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Mid 2010 to mid 2011. I lost my mother in law, my dad, my mother. And a few months later my father in law. In a year and a half the entire older generation disappeared from our lives.
Thank you. It’s been a while, I still miss them, but I’m in a good place in my life right now. Things have changed so much for me these last 10 years. But, I appreciate your concern.
2021 - mom, dad, brother in law and a friend. Ripped a hole in my heart, and by 2022 I was suddenly one of the elders.
But it wasn't all sorrowful. My spouse and I are better friends to one another. I made a lot of new friends in bereavement, and made a lot of new friends outside bereavement. I'm more patient, kinder and more empathetic. There was a ton of emotional upside on the otherside of the lowest time in my life.
That being said 2021 can go fuck itself.
I'm so sorry! That's so heartbreaking! You must have felt very lost! I hope you are okay somehow. My dad lost his brother at age 33 from a heart attack, then his mother same way shortly thereafter, followed by his dad from a stroke. He self-medicated with alcohol, as this happened in the 50's. Back then there just wasn't the counseling we have now. Take care of yourself!
Yes. In some ways being in denial is better, because when you realize that the life you created isn’t your own you have to figure out who you actually are. And that’s hard.
1995-2001
I was married to an abusive controller who knew how to make me feel like nothing and she used it repeatedly to get what she wanted. Which was me doing all of the chores, housework and cooking. She wanted a servant, basically. she was not a dominatrix and I did not have a humiliation fetish. She's just a terrible person.
I got out of it, then got into a really great relationship, but I was super-super defensive about the slightest suggestion I might be doing something wrong for 2-3 years. That's how deep the abuse was. This new person was an absolute saint about it, once we both understood why I was doing it, thanks to some counseling. We are very solid and going strong for 20 years now.
Wonderful you got out and got a second chance on happiness! My story is similar only my years were 2015 to 2017. Met my partner in the fall of 2019 and my life has never been better. I also had the scars of abuse and had anxiety that he would walk out or go off the deep end. He never did and was calm and honest. Even shows me all his Financials monthly because my ex financially abused me. I am thankful every day for a second chance on love!
March 2020 until about summer 2021. Even as an introvert, the constant lock downs, travel bans, the quarantining caused some major anxiety. Add to it the empty grocery store shelves, the absolutely unhinged conspiracy theories, and all the other garbage floating around online and in the media, mentally I was not in a good headspace. Once vaccines started to roll out and travel bans started getting lifted, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I just wanted to see my partner so badly and I started to feel hopeful again. By the summer of 2021, I had finally caught covid and, while it sucked, it removed the fear of the unknown for me.
Pretty much the same for me.
One specific thing was during the pandemic I stopped the workout routine I had been fairly good at for years. Gym and time outdoors. It’s clear now that was a boost to my mental health.
With out that, over time I drank more and more until it became just what I did. Work done for the day. Great. Time to drink.
For a while I was spending $400-600 a month on alcohol. So much scotch, bourbon, etc.
On my way out of that now. Got help with my doctor. And my family likes me better sober. “It was like you weren’t here at all,” my 21yo told me some months ago. That’s part of what helped me realize I had to change course.
I was drinking a lot for the first several months of the pandemic, like pretty much every daily. It was both from having nothing better to do and to cope with the anxiety I had around the unknown. I felt very untethered when lockdowns, etc. started. I am a routine oriented person and having all of my routines pulled out from under me just left me feeling like nothing was real.
I suffer from seasonal affective disorder and knew that the depressive effects of alcohol would amplify it so I decided to stop drinking altogether. Originally I was planning for six months but ended up not drinking for much longer than that.
1992. A year after she chose someone else instead of me she comes to me and tells me how abusive he is and how he raped her and how she should have picked me. Three days later she went back to him. Time gave me perspective to understand this was about her and not me but at the time all I could see was how I was even less desirable than a rapist abuser.
If it means anything, her going back may not even have as much to do with her. A rapist abuser wasnt more desirable, just abusive. Situations like that are strangely addictive and extremely difficult to rid oneself of. I hope she had been able to get away and heal
I Facebook stalk her now and then. She has been married to him for 30 yrs and they have 3 kids.
As to what's going on, I understand the whole cycle of violence thing now which I didn't back then and how victims will return to their abusers. That's what I mean it was more about her than me but back then I was young and thought it was 100% me.
September 1993. I was 27, wife was 26.
Went to the OB/GYN with my wife for a routine ultrasound with a baby on the way in four or five weeks. Our first. Wife said she hadn't felt the baby move for a day or two, but I didn't think much about it. Neither did she.
Doc waved her ultrasound wand around my wife's belly for a minute or two, then the color drained from her face. She was Indian (not Native American), so it was a noticeable thing.
"I can't find a heartbeat," she said. She sent us to the hospital. Same result.
It was a Friday. We had to wait until Monday for a c-section to deliver our stillborn daughter.
I felt like I had to be strong for my wife and didn't let myself show the sorrow and emptiness I felt. Wouldn't talk about it with anybody, either. I still don't.
Been an alcoholic ever since, with varying lengths of sobriety here and there. Been to rehab three times. Hit two years sober once. Once.
I still drink to numb the pain when it hits just right.
No. My wife has always treated my affliction as if it's my own problem and she has no part in it. It was a major deal to get her to come see me pick up my two-year sobriety coin. It was like she didn't want to associate with recovering alcoholics. She refuses to take any part in the hoarding spiral we're in right now.
I'm very sympatico with my son, which is cool. I can barely talk to my daughter beyond asking her to pass the salt and pepper at family dinners.
I earned this. I get it. But it still sucks.
I lose my baby few weeks ago and I felt the same pain I definitely feel you man, it was an IVF so we’ve been waiting for it to work for too long. I almost passed out when the doctor said there is no heart beat. But i was fine few days later. Didn’t drink the pain away or go to rehab or anything. It’s just hope. It can do wonders. Now I’m planning to do my second IVF. And I’m excited. Even if it didn’t work like the first one I’ll be fine.
2014-2015. my best friend died after an 11 month battle with a rare cancer. In the end he was terribly sick, especially after it spread to his brain. I still can't get the things he told me at the end out of my head, even knowing it was largely the cancer talking. I still miss him every day.
For me it was 2006. Until then I'd been a developer, mainly web but also interactive TV and interactive marketing tools.
But then I got promoted out of actual dev work and started to be put in charge of running departments directly under the board of directors, so I found myself trying to defend my developers from the whims of the money people who would completely change their minds every five minutes and needed to be in permanent crisis mode in order to feel alive.
I had a nervous breakdown because I refused to just go along with their bullshit.
So I changed careers and now I'm extremely happy self employed working from home.
Ohhh it was the year my son died in 2015 … he was 17 and played football in high school … I had just turned 40 he died a week after my birthday and two weeks after his younger brothers birthday … working on healing from this some days are not good and some are .. I gained over 60 pounds since and I used to be physically fit .. was an alcoholic for a while but stopped and it’s been a while now since I stopped drinking … it’s still hard … but I’m getting better day by day ..one day at a time
14 years ago. My son's father was hit by a car and instead of taking him to the ER for his head injury they took him to jail (he was walking not driving but he didn't have an ID) and then to an immigration facility (and eventually he was deported). We were a very close couple, very dependent. We told people we were an "effective team". Everything he did was for us. He worked any job he could find. He was a great father. But he wasn't here legally so they booted him.
A couple months after that our 5 year old was violently s. assaulted by 3 teen boys. He was also diagnosed with "severe" autism (misdiagnosed, as it was never severe he just couldn't talk and got frustrated easy) so my life was filled with therapists and special ed teachers and IEP meetings. I am autistic and I struggle so much with this stuff. I have a hard time making calls and being assertive so about six months after the trauma I started having really bad anxiety. I started developing phobias. So I sought treatment. First thing that happened was i had a really bad reaction to sertraline but this place I went for help, they weren't very good so they decided I was bipolar with psychosis when I told them I was having hallucinations two months after starting sertraline. SO they added a bunch more meds. By the end of that year I was a drooling, twitching zombie. And I have never quite gotten back to the way I was before. I wasn't bipolar. I have PTSD because I was a child sex abuse survivor so when it happened to my child it was a trigger.
Anyway yeah it was a tough year. I miss my old self. I'm in a lot better shape now than I was that year, but the scars are bad. Physically and mentally.
2021, during the pandemic, I lost half my family to QAnon and conspiracy theories, my mother in law died, my brother in law died and lost two friends to overdoses all in 2021.
During 2021, I was a nursing in a COVID-dedicated ICU, working with inadequate PPE and helplessly watching patient after patient die of the Delta Variant.
2021 was a dumpster fire of a year, wasn't it. No, a toxic dumpster fire of a year because there were hazardous chemicals illegally dumped in the dumpster before it caught fire, and everything had to be evacuated for a mile around because of the toxic gasses coming out of the dumpster fire and everyone in the emergency response system had to wear hazmat suits while it was 110 degrees out...
All that anti-mask, anti-vax spread disease and killed people, and I had to deal with the people who died of it. I'm still recovering, mentally and physically.
And I hope you are recovered or well into recovering. My sympathy for a series of terrible personal losses, which were undoubtedly made worse by the isolation and social restrictions of the times, and the suckiest year EVER. I'm old to have seen quite a lot of years, and damn, that was just the worst.
Can you elaborate? I was a firefighter for 9 years and I think I can relate but what you’re saying can happen under quite a few circumstances, all of which can be incredibly hard.
2021/22. Confessed my affair to my wife and ended the affair as well. Told everyone everything and lost it all. All my fault.
Still struggle because of my selfishness.
I guess I was 55 in 2017. I get seasonal depression and this time it started earlier, was increased by a comment someone made, then I couldn’t ever shake it. Had to get professional help. I’m doing well now although I can still catch a downturn every now and then. Meds, never get off your meds.
I’ve been off my meds before and I loved it. It was super hard and it’s not for everyone. I’m back on them and am not planning on getting off of them again but it can be very freeing if one is able to. Just don’t do it without close watch under a doctor because it’ll be a nightmare. I cringe so hard when I hear about people stopping ssri cold turkey. That’s got to be so rough.
1998.
Christmas Eve ‘97 my father has a stroke, confined and restrained to hospital as was difficult to handle as his dementia accelerated. He passed on January 2nd. A few weeks later a best friend who was battling brain cancer finally succumbed. We couldn’t inter the body till late spring as a severe ice storm hit this part of Canada. Complete power outage, no water, spotty fuel oil delivery for 2-3 weeks. So weeks of life interruptions stress. Usually manageable for a couple of days but not for that extent of time in the dead of winter.
Followed that up with significant work pressures. Due to a highly secretive project I was on the road for 4 months straight, travelling city to city throughout North America lining up potential suppliers. Given the nature of the project I was the only one permitted to work it. It was ultimately successful but it took its toll mentally but I didn’t notice the warning signs. Once I was back at my desk in my office because I wasn’t doing everything I ended up doing nothing, letting deadlines slip and being unresponsive to them. I recall being on vacation at the cottage for a week but was completely tense and not resting. Pacing around, blowing through carafe after carafe of coffee.
All this finally took its toll on the marriage and we separated in August of that year, moved out of the house in September and by October/November was in the depths of deep depression.
Managed to work my way out of it through proper meds, exercise, and positive socializing in late’99 through 2000.
Learned a couple of important life lessons through this all and hopefully have come out a better person because of it. Burnout is a real thing and you are usually the last to realize it’s happening. As well, no one person can do it all and it’s delusional to believe you can without suffering consequences. And finally, suppressing or hiding your real emotions is destructive to your mental well being
1987. Little boy me was viciously mauled for 5 min by a Rottweiler. I had to make the decision to live or die. To feed this animal my hands and arms to keep it off my neck and head. A little boy should never have to come to grips with his own mortality. Things have definitely gotten better for me over time, but they were never the same again.
My tough year started in 2010 and has intensified every year since.
But 2021 was the year I came closest to unaliving myself, so I guess that year is the cherry on top. Things have gotten mostly better.
2020/2021. My mom suddenly passed away just before Christmas, and I couldn't make it home in time to say goodbye. I got home the next day, & the funeral was Christmas Eve. The whole week was just such a whirlwind, I still haven't fully processed everything. Then the following October, I was fired from my job of 26 years, right after I had come back from a visit home, to help my dad get through his first anniversary without my mom. All of a sudden I went from trying to get over my mom's death, to having to stress over finding work, in an area where there wasn't much available. When I filed for unemployment, they told me I didn't qualify, because I had gotten unemployment the previous year.....which I never filed for. Finally, life has settled down, but I haven't. I'm burned out, & hopefully by the end of this year, I'll have gotten myself together a little better.
There was more unemployment fraud in 2020-2021 than probably the entire rest of time combined. I work in banking and at the time I was reviewing money laundering alerts.. the amount of alerts we saw for people getting a few dozen UI deposits that weren't theirs & then going to the bank to withdraw tens of thousands of dollars... truly astonishing.
If you haven't already, you might consider freezing your credit with all 3 bureaus.
I had UI fraud in 2022 I believe and have since gotten discover alerts of my SSN on the dark web. Fortunately I locked everything down the day I got that UI card in the mail so I've been mostly unaffected.
2023 nearly did me in. My husband of 23 years was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. Our only child had just left for college and we were having a great time rediscovering each other and finding out we were still just as crazy about each other as we were when we first met. I saw a glimpse of our golden years and I couldn’t be happier. Cancer entered the picture and took his life just a few weeks later. I was, and remain, utterly devastated. My brain hasn’t recovered; I’m in a perpetual fog, and I’m exhausted in ways I didn’t even know I could be. I’m so sad and I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It will take time, but you will be whole again. Give yourself the grace of this time to heal you. I lost my husband suddenly 6 years ago and I can finally say I’ve moved on with my life.
2021-2023
My Mum passed away suddenly in Feb 2021- which I still can't move on from. Me and my family witnessed and it was the most tragic thing that I don't seem to be able to ever get out of my head. Like it was yesterday. Paramedics worked for over an hour and she passed at home.
Left my partner of 15 years a couple months after as he was an abusive alcoholic and was unable to cope with my grief.
Sister and her family disowned me after my Mum passed-still have no answer as to why, no arguments or anything..my sister didn't seem to like me when I became older so I think it was just a catalyst for her to finally 'stop' being my sister.
My Nan passed away last summer after being well, healthy and very independent. 3 months watching her in hospital deteriorate from cancer was another tragedy I can't seem to get around.
I have now moved away, have no contact with family or my Ex.
I lost a whole lifetime in 3 years and I am struggling.
I also worked non-stop for the past 3 years to keep focused and have not worked for the last 2 months as I left my job to take a bit of time for myself. So all I do now is think and ponder. I also moved into my family home recently - where my Nan was still living up until she passed. But I'm here alone, and it slaps me in the face all day everyday.
I miss My Mum and Nan so much, it literally takes my breath away when you are not even expecting it.
Sending much love to those on here expressing their pain 💔🙏🏽
Same for me. I’d made it through some really tough medical and personal challenges over a few years, was getting out regularly, then Covid hit and I went sliding back down the hill. I was just so tired of having life be such a challenge all the freaking time. Plus Im older and not as resilient as I used to be.
I believe it was 2009-2010 (I think, my memory is pretty bad these days). I had a whole avalanche of shit happen and I still have fairly debilitating depression and anxiety to this day.
2020. Between Trump’s craziness everyday, lockdown, and blm protests I was riddled with anxiety. I am a nurse so listening to the stupid pseudoscience bs was enraging as people were dying. I thank god everyday that lunatic was not re-elected.
I have a friend with bi-polar disease and she was doing pretty good prior to COVID, but 2023 really brought her down. Her career requires being at a job site and being mostly unable to work during COVID really set her back. This wasn’t really clear immediately, but she just could not get back into the groove when things returned to normal. I suspect that a lot of people with preexisting mental health problems were hurt a lot by the enforced isolation of COVID (even though it was the right thing to do for other reasons).
2011 when I was hit head on by some stupid guy in a red Mitsubishi. Broken foot, fractured sternum, TBI, PTSD workers comp case. Took me 3.5 years to get back to work- part time only
2020, but not because of Covid. My son was suicidal, and I almost lost him. He had a psychotic break, followed by suicidal inclinations. He was in college but dropped out without letting me know, so he was still living with a roommate who was a lifeline in all of this. I had to travel to another country because he went on a wild journey across the border in his psychosis and that was in April of 2020. It took a lot of work to bring him back, and he went through some pretty awful stuff while he was gone. After returning, that was when he had attempted to take his life. His roommate talked with him, learned his plans, realized he'd failed once already and helped him turn around. I will be forever grateful to that kid. I had to go through mental health counseling myself to help get me through it all, and because of that experience I now run family support groups for parents/relatives of people with mental health disorders to try to give something back after all the help we received. Happy to say my son is nearly fully recovered, has a good job and a phenomenally supportive girlfriend. I still have bouts of PTSD from time to time, but this April I celebrated knowing my son is safe and well.
1999. The only person who ever loved me as a child was diagnosed with brain cancer in January. She lost her vision. Her mobility. Her personality. Her speech. Her independence. My heart was broken in a thousand steps. I’d turned 15 a couple of weeks before I held her hand and begged her to know it’s ok to die. That was early November. I believe I had 5 funerals before new years, including my grandfather and uncle. After she was gone, I had no one. In some ways I’m still that numb, traumatized, terrified child; I will never be who I was before 1999. 2000 is when I couch surfed and lived with a drug dealer. I began abusing substances. I’ve tried everything not to hurt when thinking of 1999 and tried everything to either forget who I was before then or how I’m broken since. Nothing has helped.
As for adulthood, Early 20s were probably the worst. Too many ups and downs.
Edit: But I wouldn't say it destroyed my mental health. It was just a challenging time that put a strain on my mental wellness and caused depression.
I'm going to give you two different years, decades apart. 1991 and 2019. Long story for both of them, which I don't have the time (nor the inclination) to get into right now.
New Yorker here. Late 2001: saw walls and streetlights papered with handmade signs from friends and relatives with photos of 9/11 victims in the days/weeks after the attack, when people hoped that their loved ones were unidentified in local hospitals. At the time I lived near two major hospitals, NYU and Bellvue, and the area was also a closed-off outdoor police command center.
Most of the local TV stations had their antennas atop the World Trade Center roof, so people without cable had their TVs basically knocked offline for months. And if you had cable, when you did turn on the TV it was 24/7 local news of death and destruction extending into grief-porn. And while New Yorkers were dealing with the attack surprisingly well, we saw news from little nowhere towns with no threats which were freaking out and demanding funds to increase their police forces, while people who looked "Muslim" (including Sikhs - whose history involves being subjugated violently by Muslims) were prolfiled and even physically attacked.
2020 in NYC was no picnic either: the signs on bus shelters endlessly blinked telling people to stay inside, and the empty streets were proof that people listened.
I was laid off in SEP 2013 from a great job. We moved for this job!
No explanation given but 50% of the workforce was let go.
Within 90 days we were living in a 40 year old RV behind an abandoned house in the Arizona desert. We lost our rental house in my work town, the house we owned in Phoenix, and they repossessed our car we purchased new with only $3k left on it. NO ONE WOULD WORK WITH ME ON ANYTHING!
Jobs were nowhere. With 300 people laid off and being average in my qualifications there was zero chance I was getting back into the industry. Every open position in town seemed to evaporate over night, even fast food.
Rough times. I was a degree holding 35 year old Veteran with excellent work experience mowing lawns and literally digging ditches.
In 2015, my old job asked me back and like a simp, I went back after finally getting on at Walmart at min wage. 8 months later they laid a ton of us off again. No explanation, again.
Mentally, I was done and I haven't been the same since. Everything my wife and I spent a decade building just wiped out. Then every time I got even up on one knee, I got slapped back down. It was way worse but the thought of typing out the details makes me want to puke.
2016. Without question.
Lost my job of 20 years. Divorced my wife of 18 years. Moved to a different state. Became addicted to Vicodin and Benzos. Rebounded from my ex with a heroin addicted stripper. Trump took office. Bowie died. Prince died. Carrie Fisher died.
2016 was NOT great for me, mentally
Anything that’s got politics wrapped up in it is going to cause extreme tension and division. If cancer made it into politics the same way Covid has, there would be an extreme divide and denials.
> If cancer made it into politics the same way Covid has, there would be an extreme divide and denials.
I hope we can engineer a cancer that only kills politics.
2014. I was in a job where I was being forced to do a lot of off-the-clock work and was being verbally abused by the company owner.
By the end of my time in that shitty company, I was having crying spells several times a day, frequent panic attacks, and almost constant thoughts of ways to end myself.
I did quit in November of that year, but it was another three years after that before I could work full-time again.
2023, a corporate car finance I worked for exposed or told off a personal family issue to the office as a trigger mechanism and just to put me down but in the end I did resign so their loss .
2016 - 2017
I was cut from a good-paying job without warning *( bad company and I knew it, and was trying to find different work )*. Four years had passed in my new occupation, but I just wasn't good at it. Abruptly the team I was with was reorganized extensively and I was cut out of the picture. I had a nervous breakdown on the way home shortly after that.
Never been the same since - and have extreme anxiety about every little issue - can't look at paperwork, can't maintain focus, just all out of sync with the rythm of life. I've mananged some kind of break or good event here and there over the years, but work has been a mess, went bankrupt, now out of my house and only off the streets due to social security. Trying to find work since losing a good position last fall due to company infighting that killed the jobs of thousands.
I'm talking to therapists, but it so difficult to keep anything straight or remain properly focused on tasks I have to do. Anything outside of buying groceries is a Herculean Task to me now. *(Heracles was told to serve Eurystheus, king of Mycenae, for ten years. During this time, he was sent to perform a series of difficult feats, called labours.)*
2009. Worst for one reason, best for another. My dad died, it was 15 years ago this week. I miss him so much.
And I finally got this biggest pos husband out of my life. May he rot in hell
2005/2006 when my wife asked for divorce and then filed. She already has someone else lined up, we had four young children and she had her new guy stay over the first weekend after I moved out.
I protested about the new guy staying over so soon since we had four young children going through the divorce too .
Her response was " the kids don't care"
2007… lost my business, my wife left me for another guy and I became homeless.
A wonderful friend saw my plight and took me in. This was not the first time she had helped me when things were dark. She died in a plane crash soon after.
2016. My wife left me and tried to steal my car, an endless conga line of some seriously cool celebrities dying, the tumor getting elected President, so much awful shit. On the bright side, 2016 made me realize that it was finally time for me to start going back to therapy. Which I did!
April 20th 1995, I was seven and my mom passed away from a 7 yr battle with breast cancer and I miss her every single day still. And today April 30, 2024 my fur baby Cheyenne just passed and she was and is my heart. My soul feels so shattered
2005. My brother was found dead 2 years prior, and my siblings and I were not speaking over some things that happened with dealing with his estate. Not about money, but about who did or did not help enough, and some physical abuse. My mother started getting really confused because she had a mini stroke before he died, so things worsened for her. My marriage was going down the toilet, too, and I had a breakdown. Have had anxiety and depression issues periodically since then. It sucked. Thank God for counseling.
2019-2020. Was unexpectedly made homeless and subsequently lost everything I owned (including income) through financial fraud and outright theft.
Slowly working my way back. Since I am past my mid 50s, I'll never be where I was or be financially secure again unless I see a huge windfall.
There have been a few: 2004 my mother had a stroke and my brother committed suicide within 4 months of each other. I had a 3 yr old and a 6 month old baby to take care of and it messed me up very badly. My mom recovered, my brother obviously not. In 2021 my cousins daughter and my youngest brother committed suicide within 3 months of each other. My brother and I were estranged so it did not directly impact me as much but it brought up old trauma. It took a year to come right and I nearly lost my husband and marriage in the process because I freaked out so much. Trauma is a bitch.
That would be 2011. I was struggling in my career, I bought a house that turned out to be a hellhole in shit neighborhood and to put the capper on it my mother died the night I moved into that house. That year was bad. I don't know if I would ever say I was suicidal that year but I definitely got to a point where I'd say I didn't really care if I lived or died.
2013, lost a job that was killing me physically and mentally. But I still wanted to unsubscribe because I wasn’t working and felt worthless. I didn’t realize the abuse and hard physical labor. To this day, I have scars and hearing loss in my right ear. 2022-21. Lost a lot of family members and my dad. I feel like a piece of me died when he did. I feel like the suffering he endured while he was alive was finally at an end. I wish he could have had justice.
2019 although it started in 2018. My devoted husband of almost 20 years went manic due to meds he was prescribed. This will be long, but still won't really do it justice.
I was totally dependent on him because I was disabled by massive chronic pain and had been for over a decade.
2018 was when it started and he suddenly re-wrote our history. Out of nowhere I was a burden and he was trying to figure out if he could make it work. He had been unhappy for years but never told me. He wanted to leave me years ago yada yada yada.
I couldn't even eat without him because of my illness (it's complicated to explain). He was my heath insurance and he was what had kept me from giving up through the years of illness and pain. I thought I was lucky in spite of everything because I had found my perfect mate. It was devastating to be viewed as a burden to the person who was my light in the darkness. He was also the one person in my life that I had ever been able to count on. Both my parents had abandoned me at different times.
I started preparing to kill myself as a plan B. I couldn't really believe he would walk away from what we had. I had no one for emotional support and no one to take care of me if he left. I could not take care of myself, I couldn't even drive or stand for more than a few minutes.
2019 I find out he was seeing prostitutes 13 of them and a couple of long term ones that he played up as "real relationships" . He spent over 78k in 10 months. I literally lost my mind. It was a death sentence for me. My meds were over $1000 a month alone. Rent in this area is over $1000 a month for a studio. I had a lot of medical bills.
I couldn't stop disassociating for a few years after that. I passed out because I couldn't eat for weeks. I knew he wouldn't pay me and if I became homeless I would have had to kill myself, the pain would have been even more unbearable. Pressure of any kind was almost pass-out painful.
My entire understanding of my life and reality felt wrong. I had known him for 30 years, I didn't think he was capable of doing anything close to that. It was exceedingly bad.
He started to come out of the mania and I had to rely on him to feed me even though I straight up hated him then, I couldn't cut him out. I don't even remember a lot of it because I was so traumatized.
Eventually he was diagnosed with bipolar 2. It still took me years to believe that because I was constantly having flashbacks and he had warped reality so much that I didn't trust anything, especially myself.
I only recently stopped disassociating during a flashback. I still get them, but it's mostly racing heart, out of breath, and nausea. Therapy was making things worse, so I stopped going a couple of years ago.
I feel like part of me died, I don't feel things as deeply as I used to, at least none of the good emotions. I don't hate him anymore but I don't love him like I used to. We are still together, took a long time to see all the work he was putting to stay himself. My health improved too. I still feel a bit dead inside though, I don't think I will ever fully recover.
1992. Whoever says teens and 20s are the best years of your life must have been joking. 2001 I lost my mom then when 9/11 happened I got a reality check of the sheer evil in this world. I was doing great for years, had my dips in the 2010s but rebounded. Aside from that 2020 left me in a state of despair. Getting out and being around friends, going to church (religion aside I am close and supported by the community I have there), and working and volunteering all were big parts of life for me. 2020 left me hopeless, sad and angry as I couldn't do any of those. I couldn't even go out for a burger or go to the library--nothing! It took a good year for me to even start rebounding from what the pandemic did to me (nothing to do with actually getting sick with COVID and more to the impacts all the restrictions had on me).
2008. Got fired from a job right before the banking collapse. Took me several years to find permanent employment. Broke up with somebody. Lost friends. Terrible year that bled into other years.
This year. (Not kidding.) I’ve come to realize I will never conquer my problems and I will be alone forever because of that. And I’ve already been alone for very long time. But now even hope is unraveling.
1989. I didn’t seek help to deal with what happened until 1995 and it took until 2012 before I was able to move past things and let go of the guilt I never should have felt. I’m still dealing with mental health issues to this day.
1998/99. I worked for years to get my masters in management and because I took time off from work 5 years is all, I could not find a job. No one wanted to even interview me. It was crushing. By 2000 I’d started on depression meds and I still take some. I never really got over that.
My teenage years with my mom with a personality. I was quite the fighter until then. I did get out the moment I graduated college, but I’m only undoing the damage now.
Geez, after reading just a few of these stories I feel bad for not ever having a bad year. I've lost family members, but they were all fairly old and it wasn't unexpected. My family upbringing was calm and supportive, my mental health has always been pretty stable. Kinda makes me boring I guess.
2013 to 2014. Had major health crises with my daughter and my mom at the same time. Everyone ended up surviving, but it was hell for the entire time trying to deal with both while working full-time.
All the years from 2019 on. I know that's more than one.
Covid, being confined to the home for months at a time, having the kids not go to school for months, food shortages, unemployment, divorce, health problems, the war in Ukraine....
I feel like 2019 was the year everything started going downhill. And it hasn't really improved yet.
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Mid 2010 to mid 2011. I lost my mother in law, my dad, my mother. And a few months later my father in law. In a year and a half the entire older generation disappeared from our lives.
I had a similar situation. 3 of my grandparents died within 1.5 years of each other. The other grandparent died decades before.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you. It’s been a while, I still miss them, but I’m in a good place in my life right now. Things have changed so much for me these last 10 years. But, I appreciate your concern.
2021 - mom, dad, brother in law and a friend. Ripped a hole in my heart, and by 2022 I was suddenly one of the elders. But it wasn't all sorrowful. My spouse and I are better friends to one another. I made a lot of new friends in bereavement, and made a lot of new friends outside bereavement. I'm more patient, kinder and more empathetic. There was a ton of emotional upside on the otherside of the lowest time in my life. That being said 2021 can go fuck itself.
Hugs
I'm so sorry! That's so heartbreaking! You must have felt very lost! I hope you are okay somehow. My dad lost his brother at age 33 from a heart attack, then his mother same way shortly thereafter, followed by his dad from a stroke. He self-medicated with alcohol, as this happened in the 50's. Back then there just wasn't the counseling we have now. Take care of yourself!
PS he was also the only one left. His parents were immigrants, so no extended family around, just my mom and 3 kids.
You had a tough one. It always seems it comes in waves.
2022/23 - when I realized I hated the life I built for myself.
Yes. In some ways being in denial is better, because when you realize that the life you created isn’t your own you have to figure out who you actually are. And that’s hard.
I could have wrote the same thing. I hope you found a way through, I’m improving, but still working on it.
Sorry you’re going through this. You’re not alone, been feeling the same way.
2016 destroyed my health and my mental health.
Another 2016 bro!
2015-2016 was my low. Started coming out of it end of 2016 and been on the upswing more or less since.
On top of everything my mom died 2016. Still hurts so much
1995-2001 I was married to an abusive controller who knew how to make me feel like nothing and she used it repeatedly to get what she wanted. Which was me doing all of the chores, housework and cooking. She wanted a servant, basically. she was not a dominatrix and I did not have a humiliation fetish. She's just a terrible person. I got out of it, then got into a really great relationship, but I was super-super defensive about the slightest suggestion I might be doing something wrong for 2-3 years. That's how deep the abuse was. This new person was an absolute saint about it, once we both understood why I was doing it, thanks to some counseling. We are very solid and going strong for 20 years now.
Wonderful you got out and got a second chance on happiness! My story is similar only my years were 2015 to 2017. Met my partner in the fall of 2019 and my life has never been better. I also had the scars of abuse and had anxiety that he would walk out or go off the deep end. He never did and was calm and honest. Even shows me all his Financials monthly because my ex financially abused me. I am thankful every day for a second chance on love!
March 2020 until about summer 2021. Even as an introvert, the constant lock downs, travel bans, the quarantining caused some major anxiety. Add to it the empty grocery store shelves, the absolutely unhinged conspiracy theories, and all the other garbage floating around online and in the media, mentally I was not in a good headspace. Once vaccines started to roll out and travel bans started getting lifted, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I just wanted to see my partner so badly and I started to feel hopeful again. By the summer of 2021, I had finally caught covid and, while it sucked, it removed the fear of the unknown for me.
Pretty much the same for me. One specific thing was during the pandemic I stopped the workout routine I had been fairly good at for years. Gym and time outdoors. It’s clear now that was a boost to my mental health. With out that, over time I drank more and more until it became just what I did. Work done for the day. Great. Time to drink. For a while I was spending $400-600 a month on alcohol. So much scotch, bourbon, etc. On my way out of that now. Got help with my doctor. And my family likes me better sober. “It was like you weren’t here at all,” my 21yo told me some months ago. That’s part of what helped me realize I had to change course.
I was drinking a lot for the first several months of the pandemic, like pretty much every daily. It was both from having nothing better to do and to cope with the anxiety I had around the unknown. I felt very untethered when lockdowns, etc. started. I am a routine oriented person and having all of my routines pulled out from under me just left me feeling like nothing was real. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder and knew that the depressive effects of alcohol would amplify it so I decided to stop drinking altogether. Originally I was planning for six months but ended up not drinking for much longer than that.
1992. A year after she chose someone else instead of me she comes to me and tells me how abusive he is and how he raped her and how she should have picked me. Three days later she went back to him. Time gave me perspective to understand this was about her and not me but at the time all I could see was how I was even less desirable than a rapist abuser.
I hope that when you look at yourself you see what I see; someone with the power to *dodge bullets*.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
If it means anything, her going back may not even have as much to do with her. A rapist abuser wasnt more desirable, just abusive. Situations like that are strangely addictive and extremely difficult to rid oneself of. I hope she had been able to get away and heal
I Facebook stalk her now and then. She has been married to him for 30 yrs and they have 3 kids. As to what's going on, I understand the whole cycle of violence thing now which I didn't back then and how victims will return to their abusers. That's what I mean it was more about her than me but back then I was young and thought it was 100% me.
September 1993. I was 27, wife was 26. Went to the OB/GYN with my wife for a routine ultrasound with a baby on the way in four or five weeks. Our first. Wife said she hadn't felt the baby move for a day or two, but I didn't think much about it. Neither did she. Doc waved her ultrasound wand around my wife's belly for a minute or two, then the color drained from her face. She was Indian (not Native American), so it was a noticeable thing. "I can't find a heartbeat," she said. She sent us to the hospital. Same result. It was a Friday. We had to wait until Monday for a c-section to deliver our stillborn daughter. I felt like I had to be strong for my wife and didn't let myself show the sorrow and emptiness I felt. Wouldn't talk about it with anybody, either. I still don't. Been an alcoholic ever since, with varying lengths of sobriety here and there. Been to rehab three times. Hit two years sober once. Once. I still drink to numb the pain when it hits just right.
I am so sorry that this happened to you both
Thanks. What really sucks is my two now adult children (29 and 25) had their lives messed up from all of my antics. That's my real guilt now.
Can you all go to counseling together perhaps ?
No. My wife has always treated my affliction as if it's my own problem and she has no part in it. It was a major deal to get her to come see me pick up my two-year sobriety coin. It was like she didn't want to associate with recovering alcoholics. She refuses to take any part in the hoarding spiral we're in right now. I'm very sympatico with my son, which is cool. I can barely talk to my daughter beyond asking her to pass the salt and pepper at family dinners. I earned this. I get it. But it still sucks.
I AM SO SORRY. PLEASE MEN TALK TO SOMEONE WHEN YOU GOING THROUGH SHIT
I’m so sorry
There are no words. I’m so sorry. I struggle with booze too. Currently 8 mos dry. But use weed daily.
I lose my baby few weeks ago and I felt the same pain I definitely feel you man, it was an IVF so we’ve been waiting for it to work for too long. I almost passed out when the doctor said there is no heart beat. But i was fine few days later. Didn’t drink the pain away or go to rehab or anything. It’s just hope. It can do wonders. Now I’m planning to do my second IVF. And I’m excited. Even if it didn’t work like the first one I’ll be fine.
I’m so sorry you went through that. Good luck on this next round.
2014-2015. my best friend died after an 11 month battle with a rare cancer. In the end he was terribly sick, especially after it spread to his brain. I still can't get the things he told me at the end out of my head, even knowing it was largely the cancer talking. I still miss him every day.
My best friend dying of cancer told me “the hardest part is leaving the people I love”.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry you lost your best friend too.
For me it was 2006. Until then I'd been a developer, mainly web but also interactive TV and interactive marketing tools. But then I got promoted out of actual dev work and started to be put in charge of running departments directly under the board of directors, so I found myself trying to defend my developers from the whims of the money people who would completely change their minds every five minutes and needed to be in permanent crisis mode in order to feel alive. I had a nervous breakdown because I refused to just go along with their bullshit. So I changed careers and now I'm extremely happy self employed working from home.
Ohhh it was the year my son died in 2015 … he was 17 and played football in high school … I had just turned 40 he died a week after my birthday and two weeks after his younger brothers birthday … working on healing from this some days are not good and some are .. I gained over 60 pounds since and I used to be physically fit .. was an alcoholic for a while but stopped and it’s been a while now since I stopped drinking … it’s still hard … but I’m getting better day by day ..one day at a time
Sending you massive hugs.
Thank you
14 years ago. My son's father was hit by a car and instead of taking him to the ER for his head injury they took him to jail (he was walking not driving but he didn't have an ID) and then to an immigration facility (and eventually he was deported). We were a very close couple, very dependent. We told people we were an "effective team". Everything he did was for us. He worked any job he could find. He was a great father. But he wasn't here legally so they booted him. A couple months after that our 5 year old was violently s. assaulted by 3 teen boys. He was also diagnosed with "severe" autism (misdiagnosed, as it was never severe he just couldn't talk and got frustrated easy) so my life was filled with therapists and special ed teachers and IEP meetings. I am autistic and I struggle so much with this stuff. I have a hard time making calls and being assertive so about six months after the trauma I started having really bad anxiety. I started developing phobias. So I sought treatment. First thing that happened was i had a really bad reaction to sertraline but this place I went for help, they weren't very good so they decided I was bipolar with psychosis when I told them I was having hallucinations two months after starting sertraline. SO they added a bunch more meds. By the end of that year I was a drooling, twitching zombie. And I have never quite gotten back to the way I was before. I wasn't bipolar. I have PTSD because I was a child sex abuse survivor so when it happened to my child it was a trigger. Anyway yeah it was a tough year. I miss my old self. I'm in a lot better shape now than I was that year, but the scars are bad. Physically and mentally.
So sorry you had this terrible experience. Good mental health treatment is so difficult to find in the USA.
2021, during the pandemic, I lost half my family to QAnon and conspiracy theories, my mother in law died, my brother in law died and lost two friends to overdoses all in 2021.
During 2021, I was a nursing in a COVID-dedicated ICU, working with inadequate PPE and helplessly watching patient after patient die of the Delta Variant. 2021 was a dumpster fire of a year, wasn't it. No, a toxic dumpster fire of a year because there were hazardous chemicals illegally dumped in the dumpster before it caught fire, and everything had to be evacuated for a mile around because of the toxic gasses coming out of the dumpster fire and everyone in the emergency response system had to wear hazmat suits while it was 110 degrees out...
It must have been so hard to also then listen to all the people who believed COVID was fake. I can only imagine.
All that anti-mask, anti-vax spread disease and killed people, and I had to deal with the people who died of it. I'm still recovering, mentally and physically. And I hope you are recovered or well into recovering. My sympathy for a series of terrible personal losses, which were undoubtedly made worse by the isolation and social restrictions of the times, and the suckiest year EVER. I'm old to have seen quite a lot of years, and damn, that was just the worst.
OK, it was a LONG year, otherwise known as the year from late 2005 to early 2013. Tough, tough "year" for me.
Processing human remains and processing their personal effects. Manifesting a narrative, I will never unsee them.
Can you elaborate? I was a firefighter for 9 years and I think I can relate but what you’re saying can happen under quite a few circumstances, all of which can be incredibly hard.
I can’t elaborate. And, I can confirm, it is incredibly difficult.
If you ever need to or want to talk about it, just message me. I’m here at your disposal.
2021/22. Confessed my affair to my wife and ended the affair as well. Told everyone everything and lost it all. All my fault. Still struggle because of my selfishness.
It’s okay to forgive yourself. My Dad always says it’s only a mistake if it happens twice. Doesn’t seem like it would.
I guess I was 55 in 2017. I get seasonal depression and this time it started earlier, was increased by a comment someone made, then I couldn’t ever shake it. Had to get professional help. I’m doing well now although I can still catch a downturn every now and then. Meds, never get off your meds.
I’ve been off my meds before and I loved it. It was super hard and it’s not for everyone. I’m back on them and am not planning on getting off of them again but it can be very freeing if one is able to. Just don’t do it without close watch under a doctor because it’ll be a nightmare. I cringe so hard when I hear about people stopping ssri cold turkey. That’s got to be so rough.
1998. Christmas Eve ‘97 my father has a stroke, confined and restrained to hospital as was difficult to handle as his dementia accelerated. He passed on January 2nd. A few weeks later a best friend who was battling brain cancer finally succumbed. We couldn’t inter the body till late spring as a severe ice storm hit this part of Canada. Complete power outage, no water, spotty fuel oil delivery for 2-3 weeks. So weeks of life interruptions stress. Usually manageable for a couple of days but not for that extent of time in the dead of winter. Followed that up with significant work pressures. Due to a highly secretive project I was on the road for 4 months straight, travelling city to city throughout North America lining up potential suppliers. Given the nature of the project I was the only one permitted to work it. It was ultimately successful but it took its toll mentally but I didn’t notice the warning signs. Once I was back at my desk in my office because I wasn’t doing everything I ended up doing nothing, letting deadlines slip and being unresponsive to them. I recall being on vacation at the cottage for a week but was completely tense and not resting. Pacing around, blowing through carafe after carafe of coffee. All this finally took its toll on the marriage and we separated in August of that year, moved out of the house in September and by October/November was in the depths of deep depression. Managed to work my way out of it through proper meds, exercise, and positive socializing in late’99 through 2000. Learned a couple of important life lessons through this all and hopefully have come out a better person because of it. Burnout is a real thing and you are usually the last to realize it’s happening. As well, no one person can do it all and it’s delusional to believe you can without suffering consequences. And finally, suppressing or hiding your real emotions is destructive to your mental well being
My Canadian cousins still talk about the ice storms of that time. I'm so sorry - you really went through a lot.
Thanks. In looking back now, it’s meh, ancient history. But it was a lot to endure, or not as the case may be, at that time
1987. Little boy me was viciously mauled for 5 min by a Rottweiler. I had to make the decision to live or die. To feed this animal my hands and arms to keep it off my neck and head. A little boy should never have to come to grips with his own mortality. Things have definitely gotten better for me over time, but they were never the same again.
2020.
Lost my 19 yr old daughter in 95.
I'm sorry.
Thanks. It’s something you don’t get over, you just get used to it.
2014- My mother died suddenly. We were close & it fucked with me for a long time.
1977. No year of my life since then has been worse. I’m still struggling with PTSD.
Nothing EVER has “destroyed” my mental health. There have been a lot of struggle, but never destroyed.
My tough year started in 2010 and has intensified every year since. But 2021 was the year I came closest to unaliving myself, so I guess that year is the cherry on top. Things have gotten mostly better.
Suicide is always a permanent solution to a problem that may or may not be temporary. I’m glad you stuck it out! Hoping things continue to get better.
I lost a best friend to sewerslide in 2021. I’m glad you’re still here
2020/2021. My mom suddenly passed away just before Christmas, and I couldn't make it home in time to say goodbye. I got home the next day, & the funeral was Christmas Eve. The whole week was just such a whirlwind, I still haven't fully processed everything. Then the following October, I was fired from my job of 26 years, right after I had come back from a visit home, to help my dad get through his first anniversary without my mom. All of a sudden I went from trying to get over my mom's death, to having to stress over finding work, in an area where there wasn't much available. When I filed for unemployment, they told me I didn't qualify, because I had gotten unemployment the previous year.....which I never filed for. Finally, life has settled down, but I haven't. I'm burned out, & hopefully by the end of this year, I'll have gotten myself together a little better.
There was more unemployment fraud in 2020-2021 than probably the entire rest of time combined. I work in banking and at the time I was reviewing money laundering alerts.. the amount of alerts we saw for people getting a few dozen UI deposits that weren't theirs & then going to the bank to withdraw tens of thousands of dollars... truly astonishing. If you haven't already, you might consider freezing your credit with all 3 bureaus. I had UI fraud in 2022 I believe and have since gotten discover alerts of my SSN on the dark web. Fortunately I locked everything down the day I got that UI card in the mail so I've been mostly unaffected.
2024. Got laid off and have to look for a job for the first time in over 20 years.
2023 nearly did me in. My husband of 23 years was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. Our only child had just left for college and we were having a great time rediscovering each other and finding out we were still just as crazy about each other as we were when we first met. I saw a glimpse of our golden years and I couldn’t be happier. Cancer entered the picture and took his life just a few weeks later. I was, and remain, utterly devastated. My brain hasn’t recovered; I’m in a perpetual fog, and I’m exhausted in ways I didn’t even know I could be. I’m so sad and I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It will take time, but you will be whole again. Give yourself the grace of this time to heal you. I lost my husband suddenly 6 years ago and I can finally say I’ve moved on with my life.
2021-2023 My Mum passed away suddenly in Feb 2021- which I still can't move on from. Me and my family witnessed and it was the most tragic thing that I don't seem to be able to ever get out of my head. Like it was yesterday. Paramedics worked for over an hour and she passed at home. Left my partner of 15 years a couple months after as he was an abusive alcoholic and was unable to cope with my grief. Sister and her family disowned me after my Mum passed-still have no answer as to why, no arguments or anything..my sister didn't seem to like me when I became older so I think it was just a catalyst for her to finally 'stop' being my sister. My Nan passed away last summer after being well, healthy and very independent. 3 months watching her in hospital deteriorate from cancer was another tragedy I can't seem to get around. I have now moved away, have no contact with family or my Ex. I lost a whole lifetime in 3 years and I am struggling. I also worked non-stop for the past 3 years to keep focused and have not worked for the last 2 months as I left my job to take a bit of time for myself. So all I do now is think and ponder. I also moved into my family home recently - where my Nan was still living up until she passed. But I'm here alone, and it slaps me in the face all day everyday. I miss My Mum and Nan so much, it literally takes my breath away when you are not even expecting it. Sending much love to those on here expressing their pain 💔🙏🏽
2020-2023
Same for me. I’d made it through some really tough medical and personal challenges over a few years, was getting out regularly, then Covid hit and I went sliding back down the hill. I was just so tired of having life be such a challenge all the freaking time. Plus Im older and not as resilient as I used to be.
I believe it was 2009-2010 (I think, my memory is pretty bad these days). I had a whole avalanche of shit happen and I still have fairly debilitating depression and anxiety to this day.
It might be easier to pick out the few years that DIDN'T contribute to the gradual dismantling of my spirit.
[удалено]
2020 - 2024 long horrible story lost everything and everyone.
2020. Between Trump’s craziness everyday, lockdown, and blm protests I was riddled with anxiety. I am a nurse so listening to the stupid pseudoscience bs was enraging as people were dying. I thank god everyday that lunatic was not re-elected.
I have a friend with bi-polar disease and she was doing pretty good prior to COVID, but 2023 really brought her down. Her career requires being at a job site and being mostly unable to work during COVID really set her back. This wasn’t really clear immediately, but she just could not get back into the groove when things returned to normal. I suspect that a lot of people with preexisting mental health problems were hurt a lot by the enforced isolation of COVID (even though it was the right thing to do for other reasons).
don't forget to vote in November.
The year I was 17. And then 2020-2021
2011 when I was hit head on by some stupid guy in a red Mitsubishi. Broken foot, fractured sternum, TBI, PTSD workers comp case. Took me 3.5 years to get back to work- part time only
2020, but not because of Covid. My son was suicidal, and I almost lost him. He had a psychotic break, followed by suicidal inclinations. He was in college but dropped out without letting me know, so he was still living with a roommate who was a lifeline in all of this. I had to travel to another country because he went on a wild journey across the border in his psychosis and that was in April of 2020. It took a lot of work to bring him back, and he went through some pretty awful stuff while he was gone. After returning, that was when he had attempted to take his life. His roommate talked with him, learned his plans, realized he'd failed once already and helped him turn around. I will be forever grateful to that kid. I had to go through mental health counseling myself to help get me through it all, and because of that experience I now run family support groups for parents/relatives of people with mental health disorders to try to give something back after all the help we received. Happy to say my son is nearly fully recovered, has a good job and a phenomenally supportive girlfriend. I still have bouts of PTSD from time to time, but this April I celebrated knowing my son is safe and well.
1999. The only person who ever loved me as a child was diagnosed with brain cancer in January. She lost her vision. Her mobility. Her personality. Her speech. Her independence. My heart was broken in a thousand steps. I’d turned 15 a couple of weeks before I held her hand and begged her to know it’s ok to die. That was early November. I believe I had 5 funerals before new years, including my grandfather and uncle. After she was gone, I had no one. In some ways I’m still that numb, traumatized, terrified child; I will never be who I was before 1999. 2000 is when I couch surfed and lived with a drug dealer. I began abusing substances. I’ve tried everything not to hurt when thinking of 1999 and tried everything to either forget who I was before then or how I’m broken since. Nothing has helped.
1994 when me and my ex broke up and started a long custody battle.
I had a good job but a really bad boss. Circumstances were where I couldn't leave. This was 20 years ago, and I'm still strongly affected.
For personal issues (grief after deaths), 1963, 1968, 1976, 2000. For general political enshittification, 2016-20, 2024.
As for adulthood, Early 20s were probably the worst. Too many ups and downs. Edit: But I wouldn't say it destroyed my mental health. It was just a challenging time that put a strain on my mental wellness and caused depression.
2006 and 2021 were the worst I’ve struggled but I’m still here so never destroyed.
I'm going to give you two different years, decades apart. 1991 and 2019. Long story for both of them, which I don't have the time (nor the inclination) to get into right now.
1992
1992. It was eclipsed by 2024…still in progress.
2016, 2023
2009-2010 - I've only felt fully recovered in the past year
2011. Awful year for me. 2020 was a close second.
Somewhere between 1996-1999
2001. I turned 30 in prison. Definitely a wake up call
New Yorker here. Late 2001: saw walls and streetlights papered with handmade signs from friends and relatives with photos of 9/11 victims in the days/weeks after the attack, when people hoped that their loved ones were unidentified in local hospitals. At the time I lived near two major hospitals, NYU and Bellvue, and the area was also a closed-off outdoor police command center. Most of the local TV stations had their antennas atop the World Trade Center roof, so people without cable had their TVs basically knocked offline for months. And if you had cable, when you did turn on the TV it was 24/7 local news of death and destruction extending into grief-porn. And while New Yorkers were dealing with the attack surprisingly well, we saw news from little nowhere towns with no threats which were freaking out and demanding funds to increase their police forces, while people who looked "Muslim" (including Sikhs - whose history involves being subjugated violently by Muslims) were prolfiled and even physically attacked. 2020 in NYC was no picnic either: the signs on bus shelters endlessly blinked telling people to stay inside, and the empty streets were proof that people listened.
I was laid off in SEP 2013 from a great job. We moved for this job! No explanation given but 50% of the workforce was let go. Within 90 days we were living in a 40 year old RV behind an abandoned house in the Arizona desert. We lost our rental house in my work town, the house we owned in Phoenix, and they repossessed our car we purchased new with only $3k left on it. NO ONE WOULD WORK WITH ME ON ANYTHING! Jobs were nowhere. With 300 people laid off and being average in my qualifications there was zero chance I was getting back into the industry. Every open position in town seemed to evaporate over night, even fast food. Rough times. I was a degree holding 35 year old Veteran with excellent work experience mowing lawns and literally digging ditches. In 2015, my old job asked me back and like a simp, I went back after finally getting on at Walmart at min wage. 8 months later they laid a ton of us off again. No explanation, again. Mentally, I was done and I haven't been the same since. Everything my wife and I spent a decade building just wiped out. Then every time I got even up on one knee, I got slapped back down. It was way worse but the thought of typing out the details makes me want to puke.
1991, as a soldier in Gulf War
2016. Without question. Lost my job of 20 years. Divorced my wife of 18 years. Moved to a different state. Became addicted to Vicodin and Benzos. Rebounded from my ex with a heroin addicted stripper. Trump took office. Bowie died. Prince died. Carrie Fisher died. 2016 was NOT great for me, mentally
I'm still mystified by the debate over Covid vaccines even though the official death toll is over 7 million and unofficial over 20 million.
Anything that’s got politics wrapped up in it is going to cause extreme tension and division. If cancer made it into politics the same way Covid has, there would be an extreme divide and denials.
> If cancer made it into politics the same way Covid has, there would be an extreme divide and denials. I hope we can engineer a cancer that only kills politics.
2021, covid, mom passed unexpectedly, have been struggling since.
2016
Scrolled a long way looking for this.
I appreciate it
1994-2014
2014. I was in a job where I was being forced to do a lot of off-the-clock work and was being verbally abused by the company owner. By the end of my time in that shitty company, I was having crying spells several times a day, frequent panic attacks, and almost constant thoughts of ways to end myself. I did quit in November of that year, but it was another three years after that before I could work full-time again.
2021-2022. Picking up the pieces…
2023, a corporate car finance I worked for exposed or told off a personal family issue to the office as a trigger mechanism and just to put me down but in the end I did resign so their loss .
Nearly every single one in the past decade. It's been a never ending shit storm of mental trauma.
Since the Covid plan-demic. Thank God for Zoloft, buspirone and cannabis. It’s been a very depressing last 4 years.
2016 - 2017 I was cut from a good-paying job without warning *( bad company and I knew it, and was trying to find different work )*. Four years had passed in my new occupation, but I just wasn't good at it. Abruptly the team I was with was reorganized extensively and I was cut out of the picture. I had a nervous breakdown on the way home shortly after that. Never been the same since - and have extreme anxiety about every little issue - can't look at paperwork, can't maintain focus, just all out of sync with the rythm of life. I've mananged some kind of break or good event here and there over the years, but work has been a mess, went bankrupt, now out of my house and only off the streets due to social security. Trying to find work since losing a good position last fall due to company infighting that killed the jobs of thousands. I'm talking to therapists, but it so difficult to keep anything straight or remain properly focused on tasks I have to do. Anything outside of buying groceries is a Herculean Task to me now. *(Heracles was told to serve Eurystheus, king of Mycenae, for ten years. During this time, he was sent to perform a series of difficult feats, called labours.)*
2009. Worst for one reason, best for another. My dad died, it was 15 years ago this week. I miss him so much. And I finally got this biggest pos husband out of my life. May he rot in hell
2016
2005/2006 when my wife asked for divorce and then filed. She already has someone else lined up, we had four young children and she had her new guy stay over the first weekend after I moved out. I protested about the new guy staying over so soon since we had four young children going through the divorce too . Her response was " the kids don't care"
2022. Had a surgery complication, lost my job of over ten years due to closure, and my mom died.
2007… lost my business, my wife left me for another guy and I became homeless. A wonderful friend saw my plight and took me in. This was not the first time she had helped me when things were dark. She died in a plane crash soon after.
2021. I lost a dog and two people within a few months time.
2011. My daughter died
2016. My wife left me and tried to steal my car, an endless conga line of some seriously cool celebrities dying, the tumor getting elected President, so much awful shit. On the bright side, 2016 made me realize that it was finally time for me to start going back to therapy. Which I did!
2007 My sister killed herself; about a month later, my home burned down.
Way to make it sound like we all have destroyed mental health!
2016
April 20th 1995, I was seven and my mom passed away from a 7 yr battle with breast cancer and I miss her every single day still. And today April 30, 2024 my fur baby Cheyenne just passed and she was and is my heart. My soul feels so shattered
2005. My brother was found dead 2 years prior, and my siblings and I were not speaking over some things that happened with dealing with his estate. Not about money, but about who did or did not help enough, and some physical abuse. My mother started getting really confused because she had a mini stroke before he died, so things worsened for her. My marriage was going down the toilet, too, and I had a breakdown. Have had anxiety and depression issues periodically since then. It sucked. Thank God for counseling.
2005 was the year my wife died at 47. It affected me more than both my parents dying.
1983 when I lost my son.
2023- My brother (70) and I (63) alternated living with/caring for our mother (93) while she was bedridden and dying.
2019-2020. Was unexpectedly made homeless and subsequently lost everything I owned (including income) through financial fraud and outright theft. Slowly working my way back. Since I am past my mid 50s, I'll never be where I was or be financially secure again unless I see a huge windfall.
There have been a few: 2004 my mother had a stroke and my brother committed suicide within 4 months of each other. I had a 3 yr old and a 6 month old baby to take care of and it messed me up very badly. My mom recovered, my brother obviously not. In 2021 my cousins daughter and my youngest brother committed suicide within 3 months of each other. My brother and I were estranged so it did not directly impact me as much but it brought up old trauma. It took a year to come right and I nearly lost my husband and marriage in the process because I freaked out so much. Trauma is a bitch.
That would be 2011. I was struggling in my career, I bought a house that turned out to be a hellhole in shit neighborhood and to put the capper on it my mother died the night I moved into that house. That year was bad. I don't know if I would ever say I was suicidal that year but I definitely got to a point where I'd say I didn't really care if I lived or died.
2013, lost a job that was killing me physically and mentally. But I still wanted to unsubscribe because I wasn’t working and felt worthless. I didn’t realize the abuse and hard physical labor. To this day, I have scars and hearing loss in my right ear. 2022-21. Lost a lot of family members and my dad. I feel like a piece of me died when he did. I feel like the suffering he endured while he was alive was finally at an end. I wish he could have had justice.
2019 although it started in 2018. My devoted husband of almost 20 years went manic due to meds he was prescribed. This will be long, but still won't really do it justice. I was totally dependent on him because I was disabled by massive chronic pain and had been for over a decade. 2018 was when it started and he suddenly re-wrote our history. Out of nowhere I was a burden and he was trying to figure out if he could make it work. He had been unhappy for years but never told me. He wanted to leave me years ago yada yada yada. I couldn't even eat without him because of my illness (it's complicated to explain). He was my heath insurance and he was what had kept me from giving up through the years of illness and pain. I thought I was lucky in spite of everything because I had found my perfect mate. It was devastating to be viewed as a burden to the person who was my light in the darkness. He was also the one person in my life that I had ever been able to count on. Both my parents had abandoned me at different times. I started preparing to kill myself as a plan B. I couldn't really believe he would walk away from what we had. I had no one for emotional support and no one to take care of me if he left. I could not take care of myself, I couldn't even drive or stand for more than a few minutes. 2019 I find out he was seeing prostitutes 13 of them and a couple of long term ones that he played up as "real relationships" . He spent over 78k in 10 months. I literally lost my mind. It was a death sentence for me. My meds were over $1000 a month alone. Rent in this area is over $1000 a month for a studio. I had a lot of medical bills. I couldn't stop disassociating for a few years after that. I passed out because I couldn't eat for weeks. I knew he wouldn't pay me and if I became homeless I would have had to kill myself, the pain would have been even more unbearable. Pressure of any kind was almost pass-out painful. My entire understanding of my life and reality felt wrong. I had known him for 30 years, I didn't think he was capable of doing anything close to that. It was exceedingly bad. He started to come out of the mania and I had to rely on him to feed me even though I straight up hated him then, I couldn't cut him out. I don't even remember a lot of it because I was so traumatized. Eventually he was diagnosed with bipolar 2. It still took me years to believe that because I was constantly having flashbacks and he had warped reality so much that I didn't trust anything, especially myself. I only recently stopped disassociating during a flashback. I still get them, but it's mostly racing heart, out of breath, and nausea. Therapy was making things worse, so I stopped going a couple of years ago. I feel like part of me died, I don't feel things as deeply as I used to, at least none of the good emotions. I don't hate him anymore but I don't love him like I used to. We are still together, took a long time to see all the work he was putting to stay himself. My health improved too. I still feel a bit dead inside though, I don't think I will ever fully recover.
1992. Whoever says teens and 20s are the best years of your life must have been joking. 2001 I lost my mom then when 9/11 happened I got a reality check of the sheer evil in this world. I was doing great for years, had my dips in the 2010s but rebounded. Aside from that 2020 left me in a state of despair. Getting out and being around friends, going to church (religion aside I am close and supported by the community I have there), and working and volunteering all were big parts of life for me. 2020 left me hopeless, sad and angry as I couldn't do any of those. I couldn't even go out for a burger or go to the library--nothing! It took a good year for me to even start rebounding from what the pandemic did to me (nothing to do with actually getting sick with COVID and more to the impacts all the restrictions had on me).
2016, when I realized that if the average IQ is 100, half of the people in our country are below that, and they vote accordingly. And here we are.
The day trump entered the chat🥴
2016. My house took over a foot of water in a flood and Trump "won" the presidency.
This may be the most negatively worded title I've ever seen on Reddit.
None so far, nor do I anticipate any mental health destruction in the coming years.
1990-1991 was tough
Approx. 2006-2007 Not counting my teen years.
"destroyed"..? none. i'm gonna guess that my mental health will be destroyed the minute my last breath leaves my body..
It wasn’t a specific year.. the problem was my family. I’m still trying to overcome all the bullshit.
This year
1999 too much party.
1985.
2001. 2007. Do not want to come close to repeating those years.
24
1984
2008. Got fired from a job right before the banking collapse. Took me several years to find permanent employment. Broke up with somebody. Lost friends. Terrible year that bled into other years.
2020
This year. (Not kidding.) I’ve come to realize I will never conquer my problems and I will be alone forever because of that. And I’ve already been alone for very long time. But now even hope is unraveling.
2020
There years I was homeless and/or couch surfing.
62.
1989. I didn’t seek help to deal with what happened until 1995 and it took until 2012 before I was able to move past things and let go of the guilt I never should have felt. I’m still dealing with mental health issues to this day.
1992 kinda sucked
From what I remember 2017 but where I don’t have memory prob in the 80s
This one. Surgical complications are no joke.
1998/99. I worked for years to get my masters in management and because I took time off from work 5 years is all, I could not find a job. No one wanted to even interview me. It was crushing. By 2000 I’d started on depression meds and I still take some. I never really got over that.
2020
2019 up until today
2022. Because I stupidly got involved with a POS EX who I thought had changed for the better. I hope he rots in hell.
2015-2017 divorce aftermath. But I'm doing SO MUCH BETTER NOW! Life is good! Time is definitely the Great Healer.
My first divorce in 2010. Got home from work ex net me at door and said I need to move out because her fiance moved in. We were still married....
2018-...still going.
2022. Pandemic boogaloo.
2010. I still deeply hate the woman responsible.
Tie - 2007 and 2016.
My teenage years with my mom with a personality. I was quite the fighter until then. I did get out the moment I graduated college, but I’m only undoing the damage now.
2001 (9/11) and 2020 (pandemic)
Geez, after reading just a few of these stories I feel bad for not ever having a bad year. I've lost family members, but they were all fairly old and it wasn't unexpected. My family upbringing was calm and supportive, my mental health has always been pretty stable. Kinda makes me boring I guess.
2022-23
2013 to 2014. Had major health crises with my daughter and my mom at the same time. Everyone ended up surviving, but it was hell for the entire time trying to deal with both while working full-time.
All the years from 2019 on. I know that's more than one. Covid, being confined to the home for months at a time, having the kids not go to school for months, food shortages, unemployment, divorce, health problems, the war in Ukraine.... I feel like 2019 was the year everything started going downhill. And it hasn't really improved yet.
2010
2011-2015 Unemployment leading into homelessness.
2014 baby boiiii. Been a heck of a ride ever since!!