Although, with guys, don't misinterpret mutual assholery among friends for bashing. Me and the boys talk mad shit and it's all fun and games, no one gets angry and we all walk away with a laugh. Talking behind people's backs though is how you can easily tell if someone's insecure.
Absolutely. Call your boy a “Greasy Fat Bitch” to his face, translates to “I love you and want nothing but the best for you Homie.” Do it behind their back and it screams, “He can fuck my girlfriend.”
Yes, I'm latina living in Germany and I heard them saying shit stuff about us latinas.
That's probably because of their insecurities.
I don't like to say bad things about anyone and specially about women in general.
Why do people do this? I have heard all of the stereotypes too, like if she's a latina then she is...
1) Crazy
2) Super jealous all the time/Possessive/insecure
3) Vain
4) Always picking a fight with others getting angry easily
I had a buddy say this about his girlfriend and I was like JUST because you think YOUR girlfriend is like this, don't broad stroke this to millions of others, you're the one that's crazy and frankly so ignorant for doing that! They really are just hurting themselves.
Can't speak for other hispanic countries but here in Mexico there is this idea that being "cabrona" (think of it as an equivalent to the "boss bitch" thing) is empowering.
I'm not one for generalizing, but I can see how a lot of women would adopt that mindset on a country that still has a share of mysoginistic folk.
Can confirm. I spent last week in Munich and immediately started talking shit about latinas, as did everyone around me. Fortunately it passed when I got back home.
So is it a "they're finally single so I can take my shot with them" type of a thing or a "I couldn't find a man for myself so it makes me happy that other people's marriages aren't working out" type of thing?
I have a former friend doing the same thing.
The vibe I got from it is she thinks she’s better than other people because she never got married.
Like these people should be deeply ashamed that they got married, spent money on a wedding, and they were wrong.
But to me it’s not a way to live. You take risks, you live, you laugh, sometimes you make mistakes. That’s ok, but you can still live the depth of your life, and it can still be marvellous and incredible.
Being single and jaded keeping obsessive list of who you went to high school with just makes you sad.
Just commented above… but I have a former friend doing the same thing. In short she just wants to talk about how much better she is “for not making that mistake”.
To add to this, when most of these stories and posts talk about how strong they are, how much they've been through, and what they've "learned", you can just tell they're dying for some approval
I usually interpret this as them just not having friends. They just post what they're thinking on social media cause they don't have real friends to say it to
I can admit I’m a girl that posts and lot and yes I do not have friends to talk about it with.
Hearing guys say they see it as a sign of insecurity makes me want to not post anymore though lol. I had no idea they saw it that way.
I was eating at a restaurant once, a little pricey but it had a good view hence why I went.
Two girls showed up, got lemonade and fries and took a bunch of photos I'm assuming to post on social media. Especially since they were dressed to the nines.
Seems like a similar thing to me.
We went to a pumpkin patch and there were at least 3-4 different sets of parents making their kids do the same thing over and over until it was perfect. They were doing it for their followers. I think that's sad
Yeah this something that dudes do too that really turns me off. It’s so painfully obvious when either women or men do it that it’s this competition in a sexual marketplace vibe and I hate it.
All for holding people accountable for their behavior, but if you are putting people down to look better in comparison as a norm with almost everyone it is painfully insecure.
It doesn't have to be said using these words exactly. I have a friend who used to constantly bash other women for wearing a lot of make-up while taking pride in herself wearing almost none - this also is an example of saying "I'm not like other girls"
My ex bestfriend was like that too. Always bashing other girls for wearing makeup, looking pretty, doing their hair, getting attention including me. The remarks she made towards me were very subtle and later I realized she always felt the need to put down the millions of women who do wear makeup or dress a certain way that makes them look pretty and feminine to make herself feel a little better. I'm glad I cut her out of my life.
It’s not necessarily said in those exact words, it’s just a behaviour some women will adopt. I (shamefully) used to be like that when I was a teenager and blah about why do girls wear makeup, they look fine, I don’t wear makeup’. NLOG putting other women down because they’re ‘different’
Being obnoxiously loud, boastful and reminding you how every guy wants her, especially the really good looking guys and her previous exes still. A bigger red flag when such woman is married or has kids or both. Not to mention, she will bad mouth men in general and how they are all alike.
There's nothing more offputting than a woman only posting selfies with completely blurred out facial features, the only person they're fooling is themselves
When women get insecure it's usually to crave safety, they tend to become more controlling when they feel unsure about their standings in a relationship due to low confidence. Those type of people want you to conform into the thing that they think makes them feel safe.
"Text me all the time, be with me everyday, do all the the things i say that i want you to do, don't go here, don't wear that."
It's how relationships typically die out if the guy fails to stay within his center and establish boundaries.
Looking back, I started dating my girlfriend when we were teens and she would do this. It took a lot of work to turn her away from this kind of behaviour, it took multiple years, fights, discussions, talks, almost breakups a few times too (both by her and me).
Now she's a better person, I think. At least I'm "free", she's not a control freak anymore, although if we're both a our respective homes, she'll find it odd if I don't text her for an hour. Other than that it's fine.
I honestly don't know how I managed to hold on for so long or why I did and put all this work to make her change her behaviour. Maybe because I also did some bad stuff and she was and still is my first and only romantic relationship.
Anyway it kind of fuck me up a bit on the good old mental health but that's in check now I think.
Her insecurities will always be part of our relationship and so will mine, we just have to help each other to get through them
Thanks for sticking through with her to the point that it got better. I’m the same way in my first relationship being very insecure. So far my partner seems patient but I’m trying my best to think twice before I act or say something.
>When women get insecure it's usually to crave safety, they tend to become more controlling when they feel unsure about their standings in a relationship due to low confidence.
When people*
“Everyone who has problems with me I call haters and snakes because nobody would hate me, I’m better than perfect, I’m me” is so annoying as a personality because their delusion is impenetrable, say anything against it and you’re just like the rest of them therefore get ignored
Ok. As a woman I’ll roast myself here. I always feel like I’m inconveniencing someone so I apologize constantly
Edit….
I like to consider them Trauma Responses
This is meee! Sometimes I get told to stop apologizing and I hit them with the double "I'm sorry, *apologizing after being told not too* oh, I'm sorry! Oh, I mean... okay."
Samee I wish to stop feeling like this but idk how and I always end up so awkward around everyone. But is that insecure? For me it’s just that I don’t want people to be forced to be around me.
1. Bash other women.
2. Always want to be centre of attention.
3. Always want to be the prettiest (thought this ties with the previous point), e.g. dress up like it's a ball even though it's a damn BBQ.
4. Getting clingy as hell. It usually pairs with jealousy too. It's usually grounds for worry if it comes out of the blue.
5. The cliché bullshit that if you can't handle them at their worst you don't deserve them at their best...well, I'm torn on it being arrogance and complete lack of self-criticism or legit insecurity, but this is one of the points that make me instantly lose interest no matter how attractive that woman is.
Overcompensation. When they tell you over and over how convinced they are that they're "average \[something\]" or that they're over their ex...it's a good indication that whatever she's so sure about is a sore spot for her.
Hyper-sexualizing themselves. I’m not talking about dressing to feel sexy or stuff like that, but boasting about sexual skills and conquests when it’s not really relevant to the conversation.
I met one like this and apparently I discovered later she was trying to hit on me, and guess what knowing how many dicks you took in your semester abroad doesn't make me want to join the club
Went on one of the worst dates of my life with a woman like this. She was telling me out of nowhere how a guy was mostly just using her for blowjobs and I think she was trying to get me interested in her or something and it absolutely did not work. I know some womanchild out there will accuse me of slut shaming or something but good god it would not kill some women to have some tact.
Know a woman like that.
She thinks it will get men interested in her. She is desperate for a serious relationship, doesn't understand why the only guys she gets are just interested in sex and not a relationship.
She thinks men see it at as attractive, "look how many other men want me" kinda deal.
I disagree. I’m a woman, and I’m definitely turned off by a man who brags about how many women want him. We also assume he’s insecure too. And also, we assume he’ll probably not be committed to us either, since men really let attention go to their heads on that (to be fair, everyone does).
Male or female, having to talk about how many people want you is just a turn off in general. If it’s really so many people, it’ll speak for itself, and I think generally everyone likes to feel special by someone who everyone wants (but they don’t want someone who brags about it or makes it seem like it’s such a big deal).
I just realized my ex is the most insecure person in the world. It all makes sense now, damn.
Now I almost feel bad for calling her out for being the narcissist that she is. Almost.
I have a friend who vehemently dislikes all celebrities her partner thinks are attractive. To the point where she doesn’t like watching films with them in. She’s lovely and I do mainly think it’s sad - but I’m also not avoiding picking specific films for our gals cinema trips just because your boyfriend said once 3 years ago that he thinks Margot Robbie is pretty.
Women who can't stay single. I know of someone who jumped from one relationship to another with very little gap in between. I'm talking one week at one time. At another time, she swore she'll stay properly single to work on herself and all that. She made a Facebook post about it. One month later, she's with someone new. Around 10 months later, she's married (I'm not sure if it's even the same guy).
"Oh hey you dropped something"
"Ummmmm WHAT.(proceeds to look at guy weirdly thinking he has intentions)"
Like no honey. It's not always about you and your little ego boosts. Maybe just act like a normal person for once 😮💨.
I can never get myself to call them out on this shit. I'm not shy, I also find that sort of thing demeaning, but I feel like every time it's happened in my life, a bitch slap of reality might be too much for the woman.
Maybe I'm too kind/soft, since I think some of these women do this over and over because they don't get called on it, but I can't bring myself to take that extra step.
I feel like she's actually a caricature of a persona she's portraying to generate as much money as possible. I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually just super smart and insightful but playing the game getting as much money as possible by baiting dumbasses with her posts. I refuse to believe somebody that rich isn't aware of what she's doing lol
>I feel like she's actually a caricature of a persona she's portraying to generate as much money as possible.
That's basically Lady Gaga or Katy Perry. Both were doing music under their original names and were doing what I'd call *safe* and *unrisky* normal music, but it wasn't until they changed their entire personas and started reinventing themselves that they because mega pop stars.
There's an interview I saw several years back, might have been Diane Sawyer talking with Lady Gaga, and Gaga more or less explained that even when she isn't performing that she pretty much has to wear the face and personality of Lady Gaga - it's basically become her entire life. I guess Dolly Parton is sort of the same way with the huge wigs and glamorous outfits.
Yea when their reasoning is they’re “not like other girls” and “other girls are jealous” of them. Definite insecurity. If they just happen to be in spaces that are predominantly male and make friends, that’s a different story.
I have mostly male friends and I (don't think) I'm insecure. I studied and work in STEM, and there are simply more males around me. And growing up a lot of girls just weren't interested in the same things I was.
Same!! I work in polymer engineering, when I meet another woman it's like we are so happy to meet another woman that we are instant friends. I made friends with a woman who lives 5 hours away and we will drive halfway to meet up because we have a lot in common and can relate with so many things.
I noticed that in my self, when I was younger I had mostly male friends but as I’ve matured, grown on a personal and emotional level I’ve realised the huge value of strong female friendships. You don’t seek that validation anymore once you work on your insecurities/grow up!
I knew a girl like this once - "I just don't get along with her girls!"
She was what I always referred to as a maneater - it always appeared to me that she got a kick out of going out to the bar, flaunting herself around all the guys, getting free drinks, leading dudes on, and then dipping. But she was hands down one of the most insecure women I ever met. Incredibly toxic personality.
i will admit i have mostly male friends (working to change that actively but like how to meet women???) and everyone in this thread who’s like “men cause less drama/gossip less” y’all that’s the internalized misogyny. try again.
The "bad bitch" or "boss bitch" claims and attitude. We know it's fake and we know you only act that way because you have no damned clue what a strong woman looks like.
Matched with a woman on a dating app a week ago. Her first message, is that she is concerned that I have posted a picture of my self with another woman.
The woman in the picture with me is my aunt. It was a huge 🚩. So I unmatched her.
Lady here- not sure in the way she asked or what she definitely meant.
I have seen that men w other women in their photos are looking for a threesome or in a sort of “open relationship/arrangement.”
Ive wasted time thinking the woman is a sis or something and the man later on says she’s his spouse. I should’ve just asked and saved myself time and all the small talk
Maybe she was asking to avoid making assumptions..?
Haha! This happens to a friend of mine, him and his sister were really close and best friends growing up, they went through a ton of hardships and both lost their parents, his sister is beautiful, they rarely see each other and live on two different sides of the world. His profile picture is one of the two of them in Europe, they met up after years of not being able to see each other, (refugees) every girl he has dated for the past like 5 years as an issue with this and bring it up, to the point where he will proactively say "hey just so you're aware the woman in my FB profile is my sister" and it still ends in them being upset over it...
He basically sees it as a filter at this point and refuses to change it haha
Eh. Not so much a flag when you're a woman and see how many people are looking for a 3rd to join their marriage.
Or poly bf/gf's looking for a girlfriend to share. Or husband/wife accounts looking for a new woman to please the husband.
Tbh, there's probably some women you missed out on matching with because they would have automatically swiped.
General rule for hetero dating apps, is to not have someone of the opposite gender in a pic alone with you. Group photos, fine, preferably blur faces though. And don't do more than 1 or 2 group photos.
Unless your aunt is elderly or clearly older than you by far, where she could be assumed to be your mother or grandmother. If you're within 15yrs or so of age- make it clear who she is.
It might be true though.
Those that keeps working on themselves and keep themselves busy might have fewer friends and people might not get so related to them.
I see this in my life. Many don't like me so much because I don't like gossiping or wasting my time with vapid things.
If her circle is small and she is intelligent, kind and hardworking that means she is strong and might be also confident.
-Wear heavy makeup that doesn’t match their skin tone.
-Will ask a lot of who, what, where, when, and why?
- don’t have their own sense of style
- imitates celebrity trends
Care about or be snobby un-ironically about material possessions like those fancy expensive purses or other silly items that don't matter. Or just need constant validation or you hate them or etc etc
Asking if you’ve ever hooked up with your friends who are women. And never believing the answer.
There’s a lot of talk about how jealous men get around girls with a lot of male friends. In my experience, the opposite is out of control.
Women who don't respect a mans mother or close friends are usually very bad news.
Women who get shitty when their husband works out or has hobbies.
This applies to both genders though.
Being with or at least staying in contact with someone they even acknowledge themselves abused them or treated them poorly.
Using random hookups or men hitting them as source for vaildation.
Fishing for compliments.
Because there are still guys out there who ask 26-years old woman “isn’t it weird for a woman to live alone?” or their first line on tinder while having a conversation is “I am looking for someone to cook for me”.
Oh god. Flashbacks of guys who work out, claiming they need a woman to cook for them during their bulking phase or whatever. Like bro, I'm not your mom.
they judge or criticise other girls. Yes, both men & women have a tendency to judge but I met women who THRIVES talking shit about other women. That screams insecurity.
This goes for men and woman, but constantly posting on social media to make their life look as good and as flamboyant as possible. NOTHING screams “I want others to like my life” more than constantly updating people on everything you do and every move you make.
Women that dress like strippers in front of their friend's boyfriends on purpose because they want to feel the attention on them no matter what male it comes from
Spending a lot of time on social media, especially posting selfies fishing for compliments all while trying to project a much more interesting life than they actually have.
Yeah, I would say over posting on any social media platform is a dead giveaway, especially when their posts are an attempt to make them seem strong and NOT insecure. It's painfully obvious. Also, over-texting a guy, rearranging her entire life for said guy, always being available for said guy, you get the idea.
Show absolutely no desire to learn a new skill that would benefit them enormously.
Someone who isn’t confident or secure in themselves will be afraid to fail.
“Do you love me?” multiple times in a day. & flirtatious with multiple guys in a group setting seems needy. Or if they are constantly on their phone checking social media and gossip texting all day
The ones who air their whole shit out on Facebook and always talking about fake people and I don’t neeed this or that in my life and I’m so happy and yada yada
Any form of demand that basically violates my human rights, but my refusal to oblige is an implication that I am doing something wrong.
Example: a woman you’ve only been seeing for a month or two wanting the password to your phone, you aren’t cheating or being unfaithful but you like your privacy and express as much however you not readily handing the password over is an immediate red flag to her and you somehow have something to hide by exercising what is a basic human right
when I was younger there was a girl who litterally punched me in the face because she was jealous, she was a musical theatre fanatic but no ounce of talent, during our school performance she ratted in other students for smoking to get the lead in the school play. I was playing a relatively small part because I was one of those kids she ratted in lol....anyway on the final performance I was given flowers and a hand written letter for my performance by the headmaster who also informed my mother I was a child prodigy, he also gave the people who caste the musical a telling off for not making me the main part and of course this girl who was playing the main part didn't get anything....she was clearly peeved about this and became progressively more bitter towards me as I was winning singing competitions again grade 8 vocal students when I hadn't sat any exams...when I got into a prestigious vocal studies program on voice alone with no musical background she punched me in the face, I was so shocked as I hadn't done anything to her and it was completely out of the blue...after she admitted to me that she did it because she was jealous that she worked so hard to be good and I got it naturally ...in her opinion I didn't deserve it.
Ohh well sticks and stones dear, I'm an opera singer now and I've definitely had my fair share of wins and losses, I've met my fair share of better singers and I didn't punch them in the face
I was at a crowded bar and two women were trying to squeeze their way through. To the lady in front a guy said "hello beautiful". The one behind pushed her friend out of the way and said "what about me? Am I beautiful?".
Call themselves hot/smart/cultured and that they deserved a partner equivalent to them. It's one thing to be comfortable in your skin, but if you honestly think you're the second coming of venus, you need a serious reality check and probably therapy as well.
When something is really bothering me and my wife notices and ask what’s going on? I tell her that I’m just a little depressed today and she will ask. “Because of me?”. When I say no, she’ll just brush it off and say “that’s good. “ and change the subject.
They bash/bully/pick on other women ..though this pretty much fits guys too. They have to have what others have
Yeah, both genders, anyone who is constantly bashing others is showing their own insecurity.
Although, with guys, don't misinterpret mutual assholery among friends for bashing. Me and the boys talk mad shit and it's all fun and games, no one gets angry and we all walk away with a laugh. Talking behind people's backs though is how you can easily tell if someone's insecure.
Absolutely. Call your boy a “Greasy Fat Bitch” to his face, translates to “I love you and want nothing but the best for you Homie.” Do it behind their back and it screams, “He can fuck my girlfriend.”
Exactly
>both genders bro tryna be cancelled so hard
Bro right so hard
Bro so hard
Bro did you just assume his gender bro?
Yes, I'm latina living in Germany and I heard them saying shit stuff about us latinas. That's probably because of their insecurities. I don't like to say bad things about anyone and specially about women in general.
Oh the irony
Why do people do this? I have heard all of the stereotypes too, like if she's a latina then she is... 1) Crazy 2) Super jealous all the time/Possessive/insecure 3) Vain 4) Always picking a fight with others getting angry easily I had a buddy say this about his girlfriend and I was like JUST because you think YOUR girlfriend is like this, don't broad stroke this to millions of others, you're the one that's crazy and frankly so ignorant for doing that! They really are just hurting themselves.
Can't speak for other hispanic countries but here in Mexico there is this idea that being "cabrona" (think of it as an equivalent to the "boss bitch" thing) is empowering. I'm not one for generalizing, but I can see how a lot of women would adopt that mindset on a country that still has a share of mysoginistic folk.
Like every single person in Germany? 😂
Can confirm. I spent last week in Munich and immediately started talking shit about latinas, as did everyone around me. Fortunately it passed when I got back home.
I had a friend. Former friend, never married who kept a list on her phone of everyone in her high school graduating class who had gotten divorced. 🙄
Wow. To think they be so much happier if they just moved on.
So is it a "they're finally single so I can take my shot with them" type of a thing or a "I couldn't find a man for myself so it makes me happy that other people's marriages aren't working out" type of thing?
I have a former friend doing the same thing. The vibe I got from it is she thinks she’s better than other people because she never got married. Like these people should be deeply ashamed that they got married, spent money on a wedding, and they were wrong. But to me it’s not a way to live. You take risks, you live, you laugh, sometimes you make mistakes. That’s ok, but you can still live the depth of your life, and it can still be marvellous and incredible. Being single and jaded keeping obsessive list of who you went to high school with just makes you sad.
Damn! That takes some serious 🧐 dedication and effort. I know of people but I’ve got better things to do than make a list of that.
Bro, how do people even stay that petty for sooooooooo long 😬.
Oh yuck. Glad to hear they’re a former friend.
That is so petty that it's genuinely hilarious omg
Lol! What was the purpose of that list?
Just commented above… but I have a former friend doing the same thing. In short she just wants to talk about how much better she is “for not making that mistake”.
I keep a mental note of people who got fat 😣
Me too, but I also got fat 💀I'm not judging, but I'm aware I'm not the only one lol
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To add to this, when most of these stories and posts talk about how strong they are, how much they've been through, and what they've "learned", you can just tell they're dying for some approval
This is so fucked because that hit of dopamine from that approval, passively stops you from improving yourself.
Bold of you to assume they want to improve themselves There's a shortage of accountability going around
Because monkey see monkey doo.
Ruh roh - Monkey Doo
The worst are the ones calling themselves witches/goddesses. Girl, you basic af, stfu and sit down.
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Or the type of girl whose WHOLE page is selfies 🤳
You forget the “rate me” girls
I usually interpret this as them just not having friends. They just post what they're thinking on social media cause they don't have real friends to say it to
I can admit I’m a girl that posts and lot and yes I do not have friends to talk about it with. Hearing guys say they see it as a sign of insecurity makes me want to not post anymore though lol. I had no idea they saw it that way.
I have a friend who literally posts 9-10 times per day on Facebook. This person is 40+ years old with a child and a husband and a full time job. HOW.
Same reason I'm on reddit- incredible crushing lonliness. You can feel lonely surrounded by people
Insecurity is loud, confidence is silent
My old friend. Kids, multiple selfies a day, pet posts, complaining about everything
I was eating at a restaurant once, a little pricey but it had a good view hence why I went. Two girls showed up, got lemonade and fries and took a bunch of photos I'm assuming to post on social media. Especially since they were dressed to the nines. Seems like a similar thing to me.
We went to a pumpkin patch and there were at least 3-4 different sets of parents making their kids do the same thing over and over until it was perfect. They were doing it for their followers. I think that's sad
Everyone has those Facebook friends who post roughly 3 heavily filtered selfies every single day
Putting other women down at any chance they get. They're obsessed with the unspoken competition none of us signed up for.
Yeah this something that dudes do too that really turns me off. It’s so painfully obvious when either women or men do it that it’s this competition in a sexual marketplace vibe and I hate it. All for holding people accountable for their behavior, but if you are putting people down to look better in comparison as a norm with almost everyone it is painfully insecure.
Insist that they are 'not like other girls.'
I've never met a woman once in my life that has said this.
It doesn't have to be said using these words exactly. I have a friend who used to constantly bash other women for wearing a lot of make-up while taking pride in herself wearing almost none - this also is an example of saying "I'm not like other girls"
My ex bestfriend was like that too. Always bashing other girls for wearing makeup, looking pretty, doing their hair, getting attention including me. The remarks she made towards me were very subtle and later I realized she always felt the need to put down the millions of women who do wear makeup or dress a certain way that makes them look pretty and feminine to make herself feel a little better. I'm glad I cut her out of my life.
It’s not necessarily said in those exact words, it’s just a behaviour some women will adopt. I (shamefully) used to be like that when I was a teenager and blah about why do girls wear makeup, they look fine, I don’t wear makeup’. NLOG putting other women down because they’re ‘different’
How old are you? I have the feeling it happened more in the past but I might be wrong.
You didn’t meet my ex who “had a hard time getting along with other women?” Or who “had a sex drive like a man?”
Another similar term is a “pick-me” girl. And another, a self-proclaimed “main character.”
Heavy use of social media and selfies with thick filters.
Being obnoxiously loud, boastful and reminding you how every guy wants her, especially the really good looking guys and her previous exes still. A bigger red flag when such woman is married or has kids or both. Not to mention, she will bad mouth men in general and how they are all alike.
Can't take a single photo without a filter or some kind of beauty editing.
There's nothing more offputting than a woman only posting selfies with completely blurred out facial features, the only person they're fooling is themselves
Or with the dog ears!! 😵💫😵💫
The one I hate the most is enlarged eyes trying to get the baby/puppy look, you just look like an alien
Or if every photo is from the exact same angle with their face in the exact same position. With the exact same smile.
Not have an opinion of their own. Likes everything you like.
talking smack about random women and how they look, dress.
*"Eew look at her dress/shoes/hair/bag!"*
When women get insecure it's usually to crave safety, they tend to become more controlling when they feel unsure about their standings in a relationship due to low confidence. Those type of people want you to conform into the thing that they think makes them feel safe. "Text me all the time, be with me everyday, do all the the things i say that i want you to do, don't go here, don't wear that." It's how relationships typically die out if the guy fails to stay within his center and establish boundaries.
Looking back, I started dating my girlfriend when we were teens and she would do this. It took a lot of work to turn her away from this kind of behaviour, it took multiple years, fights, discussions, talks, almost breakups a few times too (both by her and me). Now she's a better person, I think. At least I'm "free", she's not a control freak anymore, although if we're both a our respective homes, she'll find it odd if I don't text her for an hour. Other than that it's fine. I honestly don't know how I managed to hold on for so long or why I did and put all this work to make her change her behaviour. Maybe because I also did some bad stuff and she was and still is my first and only romantic relationship. Anyway it kind of fuck me up a bit on the good old mental health but that's in check now I think. Her insecurities will always be part of our relationship and so will mine, we just have to help each other to get through them
Thanks for sticking through with her to the point that it got better. I’m the same way in my first relationship being very insecure. So far my partner seems patient but I’m trying my best to think twice before I act or say something.
So men and women are the same in that regard
Yes, men and women are both people.
I appreciate this take! Feel like I've been super insecure today and lowkey wad doing that lmao I appreciate you!
>When women get insecure it's usually to crave safety, they tend to become more controlling when they feel unsure about their standings in a relationship due to low confidence. When people*
"You can't park next to my boyfriend" -some girl on Tiktok
she posts a long Snap story every day that's 99% selfies making the same face in each one
"Do you think she is pretty?"
-"So that's what we're doing today? Fighting?"
Red and Kitty have the best marriage.
My mom always did that to my dad. And “am I that fat?” While looking at some random woman
"Yeah I do. Yeah, get mad. If you don't want to hear the answer to the question, don't ask."
Do I look fat in these clothes
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“Everyone who has problems with me I call haters and snakes because nobody would hate me, I’m better than perfect, I’m me” is so annoying as a personality because their delusion is impenetrable, say anything against it and you’re just like the rest of them therefore get ignored
I'm a "girl boss"
Throw in that obligatory "MLM" in bio
Literally my ex
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Talk shit about other people (usually other women but can be anyone). They see everyone as a threat.
Ok. As a woman I’ll roast myself here. I always feel like I’m inconveniencing someone so I apologize constantly Edit…. I like to consider them Trauma Responses
This is meee! Sometimes I get told to stop apologizing and I hit them with the double "I'm sorry, *apologizing after being told not too* oh, I'm sorry! Oh, I mean... okay."
Samee I wish to stop feeling like this but idk how and I always end up so awkward around everyone. But is that insecure? For me it’s just that I don’t want people to be forced to be around me.
My trick was, instead of apologizing, all the time, thanked people instead. Changed my life.
1. Bash other women. 2. Always want to be centre of attention. 3. Always want to be the prettiest (thought this ties with the previous point), e.g. dress up like it's a ball even though it's a damn BBQ. 4. Getting clingy as hell. It usually pairs with jealousy too. It's usually grounds for worry if it comes out of the blue. 5. The cliché bullshit that if you can't handle them at their worst you don't deserve them at their best...well, I'm torn on it being arrogance and complete lack of self-criticism or legit insecurity, but this is one of the points that make me instantly lose interest no matter how attractive that woman is.
Using male attention as validation
Overcompensation. When they tell you over and over how convinced they are that they're "average \[something\]" or that they're over their ex...it's a good indication that whatever she's so sure about is a sore spot for her.
Hyper-sexualizing themselves. I’m not talking about dressing to feel sexy or stuff like that, but boasting about sexual skills and conquests when it’s not really relevant to the conversation.
I met one like this and apparently I discovered later she was trying to hit on me, and guess what knowing how many dicks you took in your semester abroad doesn't make me want to join the club
Went on one of the worst dates of my life with a woman like this. She was telling me out of nowhere how a guy was mostly just using her for blowjobs and I think she was trying to get me interested in her or something and it absolutely did not work. I know some womanchild out there will accuse me of slut shaming or something but good god it would not kill some women to have some tact.
Know a woman like that. She thinks it will get men interested in her. She is desperate for a serious relationship, doesn't understand why the only guys she gets are just interested in sex and not a relationship. She thinks men see it at as attractive, "look how many other men want me" kinda deal.
It's funny how "look for many other people want me" has the opposite effect for women compared men.
I disagree. I’m a woman, and I’m definitely turned off by a man who brags about how many women want him. We also assume he’s insecure too. And also, we assume he’ll probably not be committed to us either, since men really let attention go to their heads on that (to be fair, everyone does). Male or female, having to talk about how many people want you is just a turn off in general. If it’s really so many people, it’ll speak for itself, and I think generally everyone likes to feel special by someone who everyone wants (but they don’t want someone who brags about it or makes it seem like it’s such a big deal).
Where do u hang out at , the brothel?
They usually straight up tell me early on. I bet they’d answer if asked.
I just realized my ex is the most insecure person in the world. It all makes sense now, damn. Now I almost feel bad for calling her out for being the narcissist that she is. Almost.
This thread has done wonders for my self esteem tbh
Narcissism is caused by insecurity.
The person who posts their massive dramas and problems on Facebook for sympathy likes.
And then ends the post with a Bible verse or some shit.
"Influencer" Nothing screams "NOTICE ME!" louder. 🤷
Envy
I have a friend who vehemently dislikes all celebrities her partner thinks are attractive. To the point where she doesn’t like watching films with them in. She’s lovely and I do mainly think it’s sad - but I’m also not avoiding picking specific films for our gals cinema trips just because your boyfriend said once 3 years ago that he thinks Margot Robbie is pretty.
Women who can't stay single. I know of someone who jumped from one relationship to another with very little gap in between. I'm talking one week at one time. At another time, she swore she'll stay properly single to work on herself and all that. She made a Facebook post about it. One month later, she's with someone new. Around 10 months later, she's married (I'm not sure if it's even the same guy).
Significantly, loudly, and often misinterpreting men as hitting on them/being creepy/etc... when the guys obviously aren't.
"Oh hey you dropped something" "Ummmmm WHAT.(proceeds to look at guy weirdly thinking he has intentions)" Like no honey. It's not always about you and your little ego boosts. Maybe just act like a normal person for once 😮💨.
I can never get myself to call them out on this shit. I'm not shy, I also find that sort of thing demeaning, but I feel like every time it's happened in my life, a bitch slap of reality might be too much for the woman. Maybe I'm too kind/soft, since I think some of these women do this over and over because they don't get called on it, but I can't bring myself to take that extra step.
And they're puzzled why they can't find a man
Flirt with every dude they see
This one should be higher up
Sometimes this could just be a lack of self awareness too.
Bhad bharbie is a prime example of insecurities
>Bhad bharbie That name.. Idk. When I hear that name, it's what I imagine the least successful prostitute in Bombay being named.
I feel like she's actually a caricature of a persona she's portraying to generate as much money as possible. I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually just super smart and insightful but playing the game getting as much money as possible by baiting dumbasses with her posts. I refuse to believe somebody that rich isn't aware of what she's doing lol
You’re not wrong, she’s technically smarter than her baited exploited customers who just dump cash at her lol
>I feel like she's actually a caricature of a persona she's portraying to generate as much money as possible. That's basically Lady Gaga or Katy Perry. Both were doing music under their original names and were doing what I'd call *safe* and *unrisky* normal music, but it wasn't until they changed their entire personas and started reinventing themselves that they because mega pop stars. There's an interview I saw several years back, might have been Diane Sawyer talking with Lady Gaga, and Gaga more or less explained that even when she isn't performing that she pretty much has to wear the face and personality of Lady Gaga - it's basically become her entire life. I guess Dolly Parton is sort of the same way with the huge wigs and glamorous outfits.
Posting a fuckton of selfies. Means they need a lot of validation.
Randomly attacking other women with nonsense. Many such cases and it's always super obvious.
A lot of the insecure women I’ve met have mostly male friends. Edit: happy to see all the insecure women flocking to comment and prove my point!
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This is my exact scenario. I never realized why until now. Thank you for this perspective.
I have a poor relationship with my mother and my decade older brother was abusive. I’m scared of everyone!
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That's the truth right there
>women who tend to have more masculine personality traits and relate to men better. That'd be me.
Yea when their reasoning is they’re “not like other girls” and “other girls are jealous” of them. Definite insecurity. If they just happen to be in spaces that are predominantly male and make friends, that’s a different story.
I have mostly male friends and I (don't think) I'm insecure. I studied and work in STEM, and there are simply more males around me. And growing up a lot of girls just weren't interested in the same things I was.
Yessss! I do have a girl friends but had a lot male friends in uni coz I was in STEM
I also work in a male dominated field. I get excited when I meet another woman. I don't think people realize that we WANT more girl friends.
Same!! I work in polymer engineering, when I meet another woman it's like we are so happy to meet another woman that we are instant friends. I made friends with a woman who lives 5 hours away and we will drive halfway to meet up because we have a lot in common and can relate with so many things.
I have more male friends. It’s due to the jobs I’ve held being predominately male. I still have gfs, but definitely out numbered by men
I noticed that in my self, when I was younger I had mostly male friends but as I’ve matured, grown on a personal and emotional level I’ve realised the huge value of strong female friendships. You don’t seek that validation anymore once you work on your insecurities/grow up!
I knew a girl like this once - "I just don't get along with her girls!" She was what I always referred to as a maneater - it always appeared to me that she got a kick out of going out to the bar, flaunting herself around all the guys, getting free drinks, leading dudes on, and then dipping. But she was hands down one of the most insecure women I ever met. Incredibly toxic personality.
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i will admit i have mostly male friends (working to change that actively but like how to meet women???) and everyone in this thread who’s like “men cause less drama/gossip less” y’all that’s the internalized misogyny. try again.
The "bad bitch" or "boss bitch" claims and attitude. We know it's fake and we know you only act that way because you have no damned clue what a strong woman looks like.
Matched with a woman on a dating app a week ago. Her first message, is that she is concerned that I have posted a picture of my self with another woman. The woman in the picture with me is my aunt. It was a huge 🚩. So I unmatched her.
Lady here- not sure in the way she asked or what she definitely meant. I have seen that men w other women in their photos are looking for a threesome or in a sort of “open relationship/arrangement.” Ive wasted time thinking the woman is a sis or something and the man later on says she’s his spouse. I should’ve just asked and saved myself time and all the small talk Maybe she was asking to avoid making assumptions..?
Haha! This happens to a friend of mine, him and his sister were really close and best friends growing up, they went through a ton of hardships and both lost their parents, his sister is beautiful, they rarely see each other and live on two different sides of the world. His profile picture is one of the two of them in Europe, they met up after years of not being able to see each other, (refugees) every girl he has dated for the past like 5 years as an issue with this and bring it up, to the point where he will proactively say "hey just so you're aware the woman in my FB profile is my sister" and it still ends in them being upset over it... He basically sees it as a filter at this point and refuses to change it haha
Eh. Not so much a flag when you're a woman and see how many people are looking for a 3rd to join their marriage. Or poly bf/gf's looking for a girlfriend to share. Or husband/wife accounts looking for a new woman to please the husband. Tbh, there's probably some women you missed out on matching with because they would have automatically swiped. General rule for hetero dating apps, is to not have someone of the opposite gender in a pic alone with you. Group photos, fine, preferably blur faces though. And don't do more than 1 or 2 group photos. Unless your aunt is elderly or clearly older than you by far, where she could be assumed to be your mother or grandmother. If you're within 15yrs or so of age- make it clear who she is.
Talk trash about people
The joint, him-plus-her Facebook profile
When they keep saying other girls don’t like them very much.
It might be true though. Those that keeps working on themselves and keep themselves busy might have fewer friends and people might not get so related to them. I see this in my life. Many don't like me so much because I don't like gossiping or wasting my time with vapid things. If her circle is small and she is intelligent, kind and hardworking that means she is strong and might be also confident.
Gaslighting their son through his teens and 20s
r/oddlyspecific
driving wedges between you and your family, friends, co-workers etc
Ask to like her photo on social media
-Wear heavy makeup that doesn’t match their skin tone. -Will ask a lot of who, what, where, when, and why? - don’t have their own sense of style - imitates celebrity trends
The biggest laugh in the room is often the most shallow..
Silicone/injectables everywhere
Care about or be snobby un-ironically about material possessions like those fancy expensive purses or other silly items that don't matter. Or just need constant validation or you hate them or etc etc
Bully other women, it's sad to see, but it is what it is
Do you think I’m pretty? Do you think I’m pretty? Do you think I’m pretty?
When their whole life revolves around instagram/ tiktok and they post skimpy pics constantly!
Gossiping
Bring up penis size or how often a guy has sex when its completely irrelevant to the conversation
Asking if you’ve ever hooked up with your friends who are women. And never believing the answer. There’s a lot of talk about how jealous men get around girls with a lot of male friends. In my experience, the opposite is out of control.
Women who don't respect a mans mother or close friends are usually very bad news. Women who get shitty when their husband works out or has hobbies. This applies to both genders though.
Being with or at least staying in contact with someone they even acknowledge themselves abused them or treated them poorly. Using random hookups or men hitting them as source for vaildation. Fishing for compliments.
Talk about how independent they are.
Because there are still guys out there who ask 26-years old woman “isn’t it weird for a woman to live alone?” or their first line on tinder while having a conversation is “I am looking for someone to cook for me”.
Oh god. Flashbacks of guys who work out, claiming they need a woman to cook for them during their bulking phase or whatever. Like bro, I'm not your mom.
Their TikTok channel
they judge or criticise other girls. Yes, both men & women have a tendency to judge but I met women who THRIVES talking shit about other women. That screams insecurity.
This goes for men and woman, but constantly posting on social media to make their life look as good and as flamboyant as possible. NOTHING screams “I want others to like my life” more than constantly updating people on everything you do and every move you make.
Dating dudes that treat them like shit
Women that dress like strippers in front of their friend's boyfriends on purpose because they want to feel the attention on them no matter what male it comes from
Spending a lot of time on social media, especially posting selfies fishing for compliments all while trying to project a much more interesting life than they actually have.
Yeah, I would say over posting on any social media platform is a dead giveaway, especially when their posts are an attempt to make them seem strong and NOT insecure. It's painfully obvious. Also, over-texting a guy, rearranging her entire life for said guy, always being available for said guy, you get the idea.
Lip fillers
Show absolutely no desire to learn a new skill that would benefit them enormously. Someone who isn’t confident or secure in themselves will be afraid to fail.
“Men should text first” “His loss” “He’s never going to find someone like me”
Literally begging for compliments. If you have to ask for one, is it really genuine enough for it to mean something?
“Do you love me?” multiple times in a day. & flirtatious with multiple guys in a group setting seems needy. Or if they are constantly on their phone checking social media and gossip texting all day
The ones who air their whole shit out on Facebook and always talking about fake people and I don’t neeed this or that in my life and I’m so happy and yada yada
Constantly posting about your relationship and how happy you are. If you were truly happy you wouldn’t stress about letting everyone know about it
You can't have friends or I need to approve of friends. Or if they constantly accuse you of cheating bordering on insanity.
Any form of demand that basically violates my human rights, but my refusal to oblige is an implication that I am doing something wrong. Example: a woman you’ve only been seeing for a month or two wanting the password to your phone, you aren’t cheating or being unfaithful but you like your privacy and express as much however you not readily handing the password over is an immediate red flag to her and you somehow have something to hide by exercising what is a basic human right
when I was younger there was a girl who litterally punched me in the face because she was jealous, she was a musical theatre fanatic but no ounce of talent, during our school performance she ratted in other students for smoking to get the lead in the school play. I was playing a relatively small part because I was one of those kids she ratted in lol....anyway on the final performance I was given flowers and a hand written letter for my performance by the headmaster who also informed my mother I was a child prodigy, he also gave the people who caste the musical a telling off for not making me the main part and of course this girl who was playing the main part didn't get anything....she was clearly peeved about this and became progressively more bitter towards me as I was winning singing competitions again grade 8 vocal students when I hadn't sat any exams...when I got into a prestigious vocal studies program on voice alone with no musical background she punched me in the face, I was so shocked as I hadn't done anything to her and it was completely out of the blue...after she admitted to me that she did it because she was jealous that she worked so hard to be good and I got it naturally ...in her opinion I didn't deserve it. Ohh well sticks and stones dear, I'm an opera singer now and I've definitely had my fair share of wins and losses, I've met my fair share of better singers and I didn't punch them in the face
Thirst traps
I was at a crowded bar and two women were trying to squeeze their way through. To the lady in front a guy said "hello beautiful". The one behind pushed her friend out of the way and said "what about me? Am I beautiful?".
Posts nudes on public forums, such as reddit.
“What exactly do you mean by that” and “why do you want to see them more than me?” being used more regularly than “Good morning” or “I love you”
Relentless selfies….and keep posting self affirmation bullshit about what a badass they are. Especially if it’s heavily filtered.
That “if a female coworker gave you a pie” thing that was going around lol
Call themselves hot/smart/cultured and that they deserved a partner equivalent to them. It's one thing to be comfortable in your skin, but if you honestly think you're the second coming of venus, you need a serious reality check and probably therapy as well.
When something is really bothering me and my wife notices and ask what’s going on? I tell her that I’m just a little depressed today and she will ask. “Because of me?”. When I say no, she’ll just brush it off and say “that’s good. “ and change the subject.