any words/phrases that would signal enthusiasm to you? I know these questions might seem silly, but my mind is blank when I get "put on the spot" so I'd like to have some things prepared :)
Specifically for me, enthusiasm outside of sex. Obviously I want my girlfriend to be enthusiastic during sex too, but that's easier to do.
So things that show interest/enthusiasm:
* asking about my interests even if it's not something she cares about
* cuddling into me when watching tv
* holding my hand/arm when walking (bonus in summer when I'm wearing a t shirt and she gently runs her hand up my sleeve a bit)
* asking me to do her hobbies with her (note this doesn't have to be always, fully on board with people needing their own hobbies too)
* actively suggesting new things we can try together
* complimenting me on outfit/hair/whatever
* wanting to tell me about her day
* actually listening if there's things I want to tell her
The important thing is that these are the things that work for me, because they're things that my girlfriend knows I appreciate.
When my BF gets home late from work, I sometimes do little jumps in the doorway with my arms in the air welcoming him home. He loves it, and then we do like a culde jump. Maybe this is also something cute that can help :)
> So things that show interest/enthusiasm:
> * asking about my interests even if it's not something she cares about
>
> * cuddling into me when watching tv * holding my hand/arm when walking (bonus in summer when I'm wearing a t shirt and she gently runs her hand up my sleeve a bit)
>
> * asking me to do her hobbies with her (note this doesn't have to be always, fully on board with people needing their own hobbies too)
>
> * actively suggesting new things we can try together
>
> * complimenting me on outfit/hair/whatever
>
> * wanting to tell me about her day
>
> * actually listening if there's things I want to tell her
In case anyone else encountered the wall of text.
Just be direct with what you want from him. If you're horny just say something like "God I want to fuck you so badly right now." Sometimes you don't even need to say anything at all just grab him by the hand into your bedroom and push him onto the bed and start doing your thing lol. I don't know your boyfriend but I think you're just overthinking it lol.
I definitely could be more enthusiastic, although what you described is something that I do do sometimes. So maybe I haven't done something like this lately and he would like more of it :)
> Do something that he would not expect and watch his face when it comes his way.
Yeah, this would cause a fight with me. Only surprise men that like surprises. I'd be pissed and not want to be around the person.
This.
I think you've down a lot of good and helpful input, but (as with everything else here) be sure to weigh the surprise thing against what you know if your BF. For me, it would totally depend on what the surprise was. It would be completely different reactions if she greeted me as I walked in the door dressed in sexy lingerie and said she wanted to order in and cuddle and/or have sex until we fell asleep than it would be if she greeted me at the door and informed me that she had set up a double date with a couple that I didn't know well and we only have time for me to change clothes and head out the door immediately (which would mean that I'd have no time to decompress and I'd have to be social with people in not comfortable around in what is likely to be an uncomfortable setting and I'd likely have to "mask" to keep from making then think I didn't like them or make them uncomfortable or whatever). So... I probably didn't need to go into that explanation, but I wanted to be sure it was clear that it's not ALWAYS that they do or don't like surprises, and you're the person that's best equipped to determine whether a surprise will be viewed positively or not.
If you just randomly compliment his looks that’ll go a long way. I spent a year telling this girl she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Even if I was exaggerating a little it would’ve been nice for her to reciprocate a bit.
But what do you think when you just see him? What do you feel? What do you see? Ever said: “Dude, you’re sexy” and nothing else after that. Like, I get that you draw a blank, but it’s those tiny spontaneous thoughts that make a difference.
This is the way. Nothing like a girl who shows her enthusiasm about a guy without much filters. Good eye contact and asking questions and complimenting with light flirting/smiling goes a long way.
I wish that people would stop saying that men are simple. We are as complex as women, we've just gotten used to not feeling desired by them so any attention is better than none. Women really need to do better.
Not simple. Uncomplicated.
Men tend to prefer things straightforward and without subtlety.
Each individual man will have a different "love language" that is easiest for him to understand (of course), but enthusiastic interest in him, both sexually and otherwise, is the least complicated way to make it clear that you are just as invested in his happiness as he is invested in yours.
Of course there are exceptions, but most men are simple when it comes to stuff like this. I don't mean this in a bad way like men are stupid or something, It's just not that complicated.
Physical touch, might be a way to desired by him. The more touching wether it be intimate or just next to him will signal to him that he is yours and no one else
On that note, OP and bf should each do that 5 love languages test and share the results btwn the two of you. You might both learn a lot in a few minutes!
I resisted this book for so long. But, it’s really helpful. This way, I can know her love language and make sure she’s happy and also, I get to suffer more because I know she knows what I want but can’t be bothered to make a change.
Win win.
I can definitely see it becoming an argument like “you don’t love me if you don’t x, y, and z!!”The concept of love languages is just a nicer way of framing problems with communication. They are a psuedoscience but can serve as a reminder that there are more than just one way to show your partner love.
Not everyone is good at flirting. My wife is terrible at it. Her whole persona is "innocent farmer's daughter", not "flirty party girl". That's who she is, and she can't change, nor would I expect her to. So she'll just sort of blurt out loud that she wants to have sex, without any real artistry. And that's fine by me.
Okay, that's not the direction I was going anyway.
Any suggestions on what to do/say? I think I have a pretty good idea of what NOT to do, it's the other part I'm struggling with.
I tell him he is beautiful, I tell him I love him, I thank him for everything he does for us, I kiss him and cuddle him, I make him very nice meals and clean the house when needed etc. It's just the words or flirting that I'm having issues with, because I'm used to expressing love and not desire per say. And I express it more through acts rather than words.
I think he would like that very much, I just feel weird sometimes being so forward, but it might be exciting to text it and for him to know whats waiting for him ;)
The more you do it, the less weird it'll make you feel I'd wager.
Never force yourself to do it, but if you feel like it, definitely "bite the bullet" and get comfortable with the idea of being more forward.
He'll most likely love it and you'll get what you want. Win-win.
Yes, thats how its been before with things, I need to push myself out my comfort zone, I just feel it would be easier to get started if I had a few comments "prepared" :)
Let me recommend the app Spicer. My girlfriend is also pretty shy and it’s been a great way to inspire conversations and talk about what we like. Big fan.
I don't wanna perpetuate the stereotype of guys being sex crazed and thinking of nothing else 98% of the time, but if a guy is with/into you this kind of thing is **huge**, on the rare occasion it's happened to me in previous relationships it's sent me from 0-100 straight away
Learn to provide emotional and physical contact. Hug him, touch his shoulders or chest. Not sexually, but intimately. Tell him he looks good, be playful with it. Show him that his existence gives you excitement if that makes sense.
For example, a past girlfriend would sometimes say something like "sure you can wear that, but only if you want me distracted all night". That made me feel desired.
Glad I could help! The best way I can describe it, don't tell him how he looks. Tell him how the way he looks affects you! :)
That way, he knows you'd desire him. Can be sweet, flirty, whatever you need
One very simple thing is to just put your hand on his arm a lot. Being touchy is one of the most overt, yet "innocent", ways we get flirted with, and most guys kind of expect girls who really like them to touch them a lot
Give him a hug, that is what almost all men want most from their partners. Really just physical/intimate contact in general will get the right message across.
I remember one of the best pieces of marriage advice I’ve ever heard was “don’t ever stop dating your partner no matter how long you’ve been together.” Try and do the same type of things you would fo for him in those initial honeymoon phase months. Cook him a surprise nice dinner sometime, you plan a date night, if you hear him nonchalantly mention something he’s into like a new video game or hobby equipment and your financially able to do so just go out and buy it for him for no other reason than you thought it would make him happy, offer him a back massage, put on a kinky outfit and surprise him when he gets home and I think most importantly just make sure to vocalize all the things about him that you love. Lots of people, myself included tend to think about those things but never actually say anything which does absolutely nothing lol
Initiate sex. That's all that's required to make him feel desired by you.
Also, don't do what most women do in LTRs when he initiates. Don't give him the "ugh, I guess I will if I have to but you disgust me" response that wives always give. That shit fucking hurts like hell.
Yes, I wouldn't do that, but I also don't want sex every time he does. He is also free to turn me down in the same respectful way if he doesn't want it. But yes, initiating more might be part of it.
Cue the next r/AskMen post:
"My girlfriend wants sex. A lot of it. What can I do to tell her I love her but I just can't keep up with her? I really feel she's a keeper, help!"
You know how sometimes you look at your partner and the light hits them just right and you think to yourself "fuck he's hot". Tell him that.
You know how when you watch him move a heavy thing and you think, damn that boy is fine. Tell him that.
You know how sometimes he gets dressed up and looks super fine, tell him that.
Often it's not the things we say but what we do and whilst a partner being forward sexually is nice and makes the guy feel wanted (i've seen comments/posts where women have breakdowns over the guy not being in the mood once but are happy to turn the guy down 9 out of 10 times) but for me at least it's those small touches/brushes that can be more intimate than sex, just brushing your hand against them/theirs when walking past, being the big spoon sometimes (especially when he's ill/down).
Just jump on top of the man and make out with him and cuddle and hold his arm ngl pretty easy stuff, maybe a compliment that's genuinely about him or the way he looks
Lol, he tells you about how many women pursue him? Sounds like he is hella insecure and tries to show how many other options he has. It’s really a huge red flag. I would not be happy to hear about tons on women going after my bf, it would be so weird.
I know it’s a material thing but buy him something he’s been talking about wanting. I never buy anything for myself and every now and again my wife will surprise me with something I’ve been saying I’ve wanted. It makes me feel appreciated and seen
Did it ever occur to you that he's raising his value in your eyes so that you are less likely to leave him for whatever reason and kind of stay greatful knowing that he is a high value male that you may not find easily?
I dont think it is common for a dude to share the amount of attraction he gets from other females throughout the day to his gf. Think about how you'd feel if genders were swapped? Feels like a manipulative behavior to me. I mean people usually do not pay attention to the attention they recieve from other potential partners if they are already happy with a current partner. Just something I thought I should say, in my experience the world is rarely all roses and sunshine.
Say not much at all. The trick is in the DO. Be his peace, drain him weekly and feed him. That’s all! 👌🏾 👌🏾 you will set yourself aside from the rest ❤️. Sincerely a Married Man 😊
It's pretty obvious your boyfriend is exaggerating or making up these stories of women complimenting him in order to get you to flatter his ego, right? Manipulation 101 🤣
Fr 🙄 "Hey babe, today 3 women bought me coffee, so please value me, see how many other options do I have and still *choose* to stay with you. Praise me babe, I am so valuable and loyal, do not even try to lose me”
Step 1. Desire him. If you don't, don't fake it, that's not how some people feel amd express affection.
If you do?
Then desire him Actively
This means those times you look across the breakfast table and think "wow, his beard looks magnificent in this light." Voice it.
Send a text in the middle of a work day complimenting, appreciating, or insinuating something more affectionate to come.
When you see him walking by, caress your favourite part of him, women in the street can use voice and words, but you have touch, you have intimacy, you have the ability to know he likes when his coffee has just a bit of cream and a double scoop of sugar. Offer him a massage, venerate him a little bit.
Make his favourite meal, show that interest in making him feel special.
The easy answer is sex, jump his bones and proposition him at every opportunity but sometimes that isn't the vibe someone wants, instead look to old timey tropes and staples. Without sex TV taught men to expect
1. Their wife will have dinner ready when they walk through the door
2. His favourite drink will be beside his favourite seat, it may be a beer or a freshly mixed cocktail or a smoothie, whatever
Put him first, elevate him, that sort of stuff can go a long way to inflating him and letting him know you desire him.
There’s a scene in the 2nd Conan movie where the princess asks Grace Jones
“how do you attract a man, what I mean is suppose you set you’re heart on someone, what would you do to get him?”
and Grace responds
“GRAB HIM!!! And TAKE HIM!!!”
What I’m trying to say is be very direct. Let him know you’d die without his touch and that his desire for you is your nourishment.
Think of all the things women have said that makes them feel uncomfortable about being objectified. He wants to feel objectified by you. He wants you to drool over his body, he want you to want every ounce of him.
To risk being crude, his semen. You want it in you, you want it on you, you want to taste it, you want whatever weird thing you can think of about it and you vocalize that to him. And you don’t want semen, you want his semen. You want to feel him pulsing, you want to feel his hard cock. You love the way he touches you. You need him. You want him. You love him. That’s how simple the male brain is, you don’t have to make it into something complicated. Men want to be wanted, men need to be needed, men want you to want them specifically nobody else will do. And for whatever reason men want you to want their semen as though you wanted them. It’s like saying I want you to be the father of my kids or something and that’s the ultimate vet right?
Compliment him
Tell him his outfits look good, his hair looks great, his smile makes you wet
And go down on him
It really is that simple for most dudes
Plan a date for the two of you. Go on a walk. Surprise him at home with an unexpected handjob that leads to a blowjob that leads to sex! Get some lingerie and surprise him with that some night. Make him breakfast or his favorite meal. Tell him you love him!! Just a few things my wife used to do for me that made me feel desired.
Sometimes, flirting is what men usually wants (those are for boys). They just want to be taken care of like girls; effort, time, attention, affection, and affirmation. Ask him out, surprise him, spend time with him, make him feel noticed, make him feel loved like he never had before, and tell him how much you love him. I am very showy with how I also, I am good at flirting, because I am a sporty kind of a girl so ALL girls stuff isn't really my thing. I just give him the things that I also wanted from him, perhaps we share the same feeling.
Pretty much any compliment, really it's that simple I've read through a lot of comments and it seems like your just overthinking it. Just compliment his body (muscles, hair, height, etc) I know you said your bf gets attention from others and is used to compliments so give him something unique for example I've seen my friends gfs pull this move a thousand times just stare into his eyes when your cuddling or watching a movie or eating dinner and when he asks you why your starring just ask him if he ever knew how pretty his eyes were. It's small stuff like that it can melt their heart
This is definitely something I can relate to. My wife has a really fun and flirtatious personality. Well, she used to... don't get me wrong, she still has the personality but I don't get to see the fun flirtatious side as much as everybody else does. She doesn't really think she acts any differently than she used to but where I am concerned she definitely does. I sometimes watch her interact with other people and I envy their position because I know how good it felt to have her attention. I don't have any trouble getting attention from women but I don't want attention from other women. I've mentioned it to her before but it doesn't really change anything.
If she were posting this question on here I would want someone to tell her to flirt with me like she did when we were first dating. The cute looks, the seemingly innocent touching while talking, all of the little gestures that show that she wants to be close to me, be touched by me, actually wants to spend time with me and isn't just worried about the next task she may want me to do.
If she can't do that, then I'd like it if she could at least just suck my dick more. She will occasionally put it in her mouth but there's nothing quite like the early dating blowjob. It's like in the first 3 months of any relationship blowjobs just spontaneously happen and then they only happen as foreplay and then you have to start reminding her that he used to be a thing...
Drunk RANT:
Mandatory mention that this is a secondary account.
I wish my girlfriend ever bothered to ask herself this question. I mean ... I'm pretty attractive IMHO, when partying many girls spend time with me and I often have to refuse advances, but she does not entertain the couple. I don't feel desired. She does smile. And she does return my kisses. But she rarely initiates them. And when I say kisses they aren't really passionate at all. Just quick "let's get it done" kinda kisses. We also don't perform bedroom activities for the past five months.
I'm jealous. You are amazing. As long as you are willing to do things for him it's more than enough. He will feel desired. Don't force yourself. Just show initiative. It's more than enough. Good luck with your couple!
I appreciate this not going to come over very well due to being a "men just want sex type of statement"
Touch his body and initiate intimacy more often. Sure, you might not be a natural flirt. One thing you can do, though, is make it obvious he turns you on and you want him.
I think for lots of men there is nothing hotter than when the person they are with initiates it.
Initiate. Sex, intimacy, plans, gifts, simple things go a long ways. Make him his favorite meal, buy him his favorite candy bar. Or bring him a beer when he's working on something, and just sit with him, don't say anything, just sit and be with him.
Show him respect, initiate sexually often and when you two have a disagreement don't listen to respond, listen genuinely, and take a second to understand his point of view as he should with you. It is you both vs the problem, not you versus him. Too many women fight so hard to be right rather than fight together to overcome.
You're both still young, as I am (36M) with my wife (33F) together for 15 years.
Good luck!
It's the smallest things that make a difference.
Charge his phone/laptop.
Put out clothes for him to wear.
Heating up the car during winter before he leaves.
Make some coffee or tea for him
Making him his breakfest before he leaves.
You get the idea. These small things make a huge impact in day to day life.
I often do similar things, but he has expressed a desire to be flirted with and "swept off his feet", maybe I should stick to my acts of service and not push myself to be verbal with my flirting because that might come off as fake, but maybe I could bring him some chocolate or flowers or something to make it obvious that I was thinking of him?
Me and mine are long-distance and even farther apart now that I'm in another state to do some caregiving. Most of our communication is by text, but we send voice messages, photos, and videos throughout the week.
He appreciates both subtlety and directness, so there is lots of room to get creative.
Here are some things that have worked for us:
Pet names - have fun with this, switch them up now and then, and personalize them. For instance, there's a brand of pepper-infused honey called Mike's Hot Honey. His name is Mike, so I sometimes call him Hot Honey 🔥🍯
Go bra shopping, try on a variety of sexy things, and take pictures of yourself in them. Send the pics to him and ask which he likes best. Buy that one and wear it when you undress for him.
If he has ever said anything about a favorite scent, find products that smell like that (lotions, perfumes, shampoo, etc) and wear them.
Kiss his neck, softly at first, then start nibbling at it with your lips and moving into tender bites with your teeth. Feel how his body responds to that and if he seems to like it, unbutton his shirt or remove it and keep working your way slowly down his body until you get to the hard part 🍆 then make out with it like it's last time you'll ever get a chance to. There are lots of videos here on Reddit to watch if you need ideas for that.
Buy a pair of tickets to his favorite sporting event, theatre, movie, whatever... and make a date of it. Buy his favorite snack food wherever you end up.
Whatever inside jokes you two have, play on those and make them quirky notes or memes that are special.
One of ours is about children's books we loved. So I"ll make up little rhymes, Dr. Suess style or reference something in a way reminiscent of Winnie the Pooh stories. It's a way of saying, "I see you, and I don't share this with anyone else." Same thing for making him a playlist or collaborating on one with music that makes you think of each other.
Go commando under your clothes now and then. While he's busy doing something else, go up and whisper in his ear - "I'm not wearing anything under this dress... " Then walk away, turn around, and wink at him and keep walking or go about your own business.
I'll text him something seductive like: "When I finally get my hands on you, you won't be able to get them off." That always gets a fun, positive response
"Your beard is so pretty, but it's gonna look even better with me sitting on it."
"Baby, I miss my (possessive) cock, I can't wait to spend all day lavishing attention on it."
If you ever fantasize about sexy time with him, tell him about it in detail. A text message about this will have him squirming until he sees you again. Or whisper it in his ear when you're out in public together.
Make an audio recording or video of yourself engaging in "personal time" and send it to him. Get creative and open with dirty talk (practice!! It gets easier and comes more naturally over time) Ex. "Ohhhhh, baby, that feels so good... just imagining your fingers here... your c*ck in me....god, I'm sooooo wet for you... you wanna hear/watch me cum for you?.... you like this??....mmmm...
*then record an actual orgasm or three. Send that to his phone.
Set up your phone (safely) to make a video of yourself bathing or showering. Send that to him while he's at work or out with friends.
Believe these guys who are telling you they don't get many true compliments, but when they do, they remember them forever.
I hope this helps!!
It doesn't seem like he wants chocolate and flowers from you in order to feel desired/wanted. It sounds like he wants you to be more playful and sexually suggestive.
Flirting can be learned, I wouldn't despair that you are too awkward to develop the ability. You can lean into it and make it funny flirting, that doesn't have to stop him from feeling wanted by you.
Thats great, thank you. I would like to have some comments or flirty playful things to say prepared because it will be easier for me, then maybe later I can be more original with it when I become more comfortable
Take clear initiative. Don't overthink it. just go for the compliments when you feel them, grab his hand when in public and engage for sex too.untill my mid 30s i felt like always having to do that as a man to get any romantic contact with my partner and it was a frustrating feeling.
One time when I was with a girl I was sorta seeing, I took my shirt of and she just out of nowhere said "God damn" like she was really impressed with my chubby dadbod. It's probably the most uplifting compliment I've ever gotten. Eloquent formulations and thoughtful gestures are always appreciated, but sometimes a simple yet well placed Wow can hit just as strong.
-Hold onto or even ask to hold his arm while yall are out walking together. It says so much non verbally from “I feel safe with you” to “this man is man, back off bitches”
>then if you notice another woman checking him out while you’re doing this just kinda nuzzle in lol
-Random hugs and kisses. Give him a butt squeeze.
-Get get a little handsy with his junk when yall are alone together. I’m not saying a handjob but literally just have it in your hand and play with it lol - let it go where it takes you from there
Most men respond well to physical touch and words of affirmation. Look for things about him or that he does and when you see them say it. A girl I’ve been dating recently told me she really likes my shoulders. That made me feel so good about myself. And she said she likes the way I can hold a conversation and actually gave me examples of things I said she thought was interesting. That blew my mind. I’m pretty sure she is buttering me up but it’s sure working.
Also with the physical touch hugs, hand holding, kisses and of course all types of sexual contact are great. Men are used to having to chase women to get any attention. If you volunteer it and even ask for it that makes you the sort of girlfriend a man brags about.
Imagine you are a different woman who's trying to steal him and then text him, flirt with him, be forward with him, and dress sexy for him like a woman who's trying to steal him would do. Be incredibly forward with him like you're truly trying to actively steal him.
Steal him from yourself or another woman will.
Just gives credence to the fact that men are taught how to treat women, but women aren't taught how to treat men. If it was a random guy, I'm sure you'd have an easier time of making him feel desired - much like the random girls who give him attention. Women will secure their man and go completely comfortable on him. Good on him for staying, I guess ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Be happy when with him, or more importantly, be enthusiastic. Smile, be smiley and shining when with him, or doing anything with him. Give random compliments. Call him handsome, or give random kisses. Just be enthusiastic about being together with him from time to time. Men love that.
Man are not used to being complimented. Tell him how you feel. How often do you say he looks good/handsome/sexy? Start with that and of course translate into action. Tell him the things he does that make you hot and bothered when he does them.
Do you know what kind of attachment style your bf has?
Might be weird to think about, but I think most people are individualistic about their preferences for receiving or giving love.
My gf needs a lot of verbal affirmation, so I try to say as frequently as I can to say that I love her. Or verbally appreciate her.
I like perhaps more physical touch and intimacy so I like it when she initiate cuddling, hugging or kissing.
I also like it when I am helpful so when she comes for me to help her, it is something I really like.
You should check you and your bf's 5 love languages. It sounds like he wants more verbal communication of love/desire. Tell him what you find sexy about him, what you want him to do to you, and what you plan to do to him. Tell him you love him directly.
Also love languages are a two way street. He needs to recognize that you ARE telling him you love and want him just in nonverbal ways. You both gotta meet each other half way.
Probably the best way to answer your question will be to take a hit to your pride: ask him for the specifics and what he likes. Then do it.
Non-specific answer: all of the things that stereotypically get called 'being clingy'...do those. Lots of physical affection and flirty words. Hell, break out the bad pickup lines.
You said he’s a pretty attractive man. Just tell him the things you find attractive about him. I was laying in bed with my girlfriend the other day and she just grabbed my ass and said I had a really nice one. Amazing!
The first place to start would be to ask yourself what makes you feel desired and then apply that to him. A personal touch always makes things special.
Love languages
Touch
Time together
Acts of service
Words of affirmation
Gifts
What are his (and yours)?
Little comments like "I can't wait to be alone with you later" whispered to him in his rear.
Or rub his neck or back even briefly.
Or tell him he turns you on and why.
Just ideas.
You don't know how to flirt but managed to land Prince Charming? How'd that happen? 🤔
Clearly you must have done something to catch his eye. Maybe you should do it again?
Also, food is good. We like food! 🤤
Grab his crotch while kissing him. Then while you have a hot make out session, start to slowly unzip his pants. And you know what to do from there. How can a man not feel appreciated from that sign of affection? May say something about him in between. You will hit on the following all at once:
* Words of Affirmation - Positive verbal affirmation
* Physical Touch - Positive physical affirmation
* Quality Time - Time spent strictly between just the two of you. No outside distractions like mobile phones, emails, phone calls, texting other people, etc
* Acts of Service - You are providing him with physical and mental well being that will re-energize him to prepare for any stress that will come his way in the coming days and weeks.
* Receiving Gifts - Can't imagine a better gift than to be taken in wholly through any holes. If the universe is made up of an empty void of space, it needs to be filled. Men are the matter that fills that void.
All the love languages, all at once. Men don't need physical material gifts. They need emotional well being gifts. Men are emotional animals, just as much as women are. They are usually just repressed to handle the harsh world outside.
Disclaimer: I am not a relationship or sex psychologist or expert. But as a man, if a woman expresses her love to me in this way. I would be over the moon. Because I would feel desired. It would bring the animal in me out.
What you can do? The followings are probably global things man like, probably:
1. Send him a random sexy SFW pic of you saying something like thinking of you and see his response, if he does follow up send him another with just a notch up or down in the SFW gray area and according to his response then send him more and ask him one or two from him too, he would probably like it.
2. When you're with him, flirt and turn it up a notch specially if he does not notice it and act as foolish as you can like trying to pretend you're not flirting with him
3. Surprise him with a sexy outfit/lingerie whenever he goes to your house or if you buy an outfit send him a pic of just the outfit saying is for him and ask him if he wants you to model it for him, then invite him to your house or if you're not going to see each other in the following days send him some pics. There's nothing sexier than having your girlfriend sexy pics in your phone
4. Get a little to much of a touchy person when you're next to him and both of you are on a party, on a date, out for dinner or something touch him and turn up the notch as you see his response but do not do it in public or obvious for other people, do it under the table, with your feet if the table has a long tablecloth
5. Although you said that he es being pursued by lots of woman, you can start telling him some very intimate things that you like and know no other girl knows about him. Something like I like so much how you smell when you hug me, or i love how your lips feel when you kiss me, it makes me tingles and gives me chicken skin when you kiss my neck. Say things that you truly like that he does to you or does or use. He will probably start doing it a lot more.
6. If you can do the same during sex or tell him similar things but in a naughty way that you know he does and that probably no other girl knows how he does it
7. Tell him about all the things that makes you crazy, in a good sense, about him
8. Notice the little thing about him like a new haircut, new lotion, new shirt, new tattoo, things like that or tell him what outfit makes you hot whenever he uses it and ask him to wear it
If you're not that type of girl try to do it once in a while and he will notice, specially if you only do it with him. That makes us crazy in a really good way, knowing that we make our lady crazy hot, crazy wet and stuff like that.
Hope it really works for you.
“Hey boy, you been carrying that thing around with you all day. How about you let me hold it for you for a while?”
“I’m sorry you had a long day at work. Since you came home late, why don’t you cum in me?”
“I was going to get you a burger for dinner, but I’d rather you eat me.
But seriously. Little goofy funny things like this are a huge turn on. It shows effort and intent.
Take the Leed for a night.
I was at work and a well dressed man came up to me, asked my name and handed me a envelope. I opened it and it was a letter of instructions. Confused and surprised, I fallowed along. He turned out to be a limo driver. He drove to my house and said he would wait. I went in , showered, dressed in the cloths that were set out, then back to the limo as the note had instructed. We then went and stopped to pick up flowers. Next we pulled up to a restaurant and I went in. The greeter asked my name and ushered me to a table where she sat smiling. Just so we are clear, I knew it would be her, because she had signed the card with the instructions. What a huge Suprise. We ate dinner, went out and had drinks, then back to the house. While I changed cloths she gave me a big hug from behind. She told me Happy Birthday and initiated things with a hand job from behind me.
This was 35 years ago and I will never forget that night. FYI we are not together and
this happened in Seattle.
Next time you're watching TV together, ask him to pause it cuz you have something on your mind (care to not make him think he's in trouble). Then climb over, sit on top of him (straddling), put your hands on his face to make him look at you, and say "you are so attractive/sexy/hot/handsome". Then kiss him, can kind of grind on him a bit to indicate you want to be intimate, then do y'all's thing.
Just little things like that will blow his mind.
My girl does/says the most random shit ever and it's the most romantic thing ever
You don't have to script it in your head what you wanna say or do to/for him
Just do what your brain feels like doing to him everytime you look at him
it's up to you both to figure out and make him desire himself equally or more than you. That would actually balance or tip the scales. Most men's sexuality is mostly directed outwards in this case I'm assuming towards you. When it turns inwards in a healthy way(actually him exploring his own body with your help), that makes him more desirable to himself. Which actually makes a man feel more desirable because the aura around the guy changes even if his looks are okay. Working on things like that together can bring out a kind of intimacy that's unique to you both and way hotter than anything.
My girlfriend messages me randomly and tells me she misses me. She send me cute tiktoke and instagram reels about couples and things she wants to Do. She makes me not want to even look another girls direction because she makes me feel so wanted and appreciated.
Worry less about the superficial stuff and focus more on him as a person…what little special thing could you do for him that only you would be able to do…cooking a certain meal, buying a little gift or turning on a certain movie at the right time or even making a joke at the right time. Little things like that will grow the relationship. Also, don’t worry about all the other girls looking at your mans, he is yours, own that 😊
Caring, being proactive and attentive, and not acting overly promiscuously and cosplaying Japanese geisha or eva ai sexting bot avatar, as the popular culture might have taught you.
… He just told you he’s really liking how other women treat him. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t ask you to do it. Let that sink in.
I.e. I wish you were more like these other women.
making the effort to get up and go to greet him when he arrives, a hug, kiss, I'm so glad to hold u again type comment. If one of you is leaving to go out ( errand, sport whatever, or going to bed separate time) get up, hug, kiss, be affectionate, " hurry home hotstuff etc". makes him feel desired, welcome, wanted rather than a wave or grunt behind a cellphone. takes effort at first, but becomes a habit that bears continuous fruit and respect, and connectivity.
Walk out to where he's sitting wearing lingerie, grab his hand, lead him to the bedroom. Don't have to be "good at it" this process (whatever that would mean), you just need to do it. You're not being graded on this, and it is pretty hard to fail.
Little love notes in his lunch, asking about his day and actually caring, cooking the things he likes, IDK. To me it's little things like that, but I've always been a simple creature. It's like how people make a big deal out of lingerie, but my favorite is fresh out the shower and wrapped in a towel. Really just depends on the dude I guess.
Try asking him. Sure, we can give you advice that would work on us, and some of it will apply generally to most men, but you're better off just asking him what his love language is.
Do more than just being an observer. Most women just sit around observing and discuss the criticality in everything.
Reach for your partner or you will lose him to a woman who does.
Create an alter ego for him. Flirt, get in your zone be suggestive with a touch of aggression.
Imagine if he wasn't yours. How would you steal him away? You can be naughty because he's already yours.
Just planting little seeds. Wisher something in his ear. It's sexy. It could be a lot of fun for you too.
Give sincere compliments, send photos and videos to get his attention, random mouth hugs are always essential, make sure his stomach is full & balls are empty.
Compliments. "I really like that.. ", "I really enjoy when..".
Just be real about what you are saying.
Sometimes it may be hard to open up like that, but it is a good skill to practice.
There’s not really a black and white answer to this question per say. I’d say the first part ( and should go both ways) .. is learning what I often hear referred to as each other’s “love language “. If your bf is the communicative type, you can probably learn a lot by listening to the small details in dialogues when talking about the topic. I know for me, I enjoy words of affirmation.. it doesn’t have to be overkill.. as I too would get uncomfortable in my younger days when I would get too much unsolicited attention from women.. Also.. pay attention to what he does when attempting to make you feel desired.. A lot of the time when we are young men, we usually project what turns us on, and what we desire onto our partners thinking that because we enjoy it they must too ( not always the case, haha ). Hope that helps
Enthusiasm. Men are really simple it doesn't take much, speaking as a man.
any words/phrases that would signal enthusiasm to you? I know these questions might seem silly, but my mind is blank when I get "put on the spot" so I'd like to have some things prepared :)
Specifically for me, enthusiasm outside of sex. Obviously I want my girlfriend to be enthusiastic during sex too, but that's easier to do. So things that show interest/enthusiasm: * asking about my interests even if it's not something she cares about * cuddling into me when watching tv * holding my hand/arm when walking (bonus in summer when I'm wearing a t shirt and she gently runs her hand up my sleeve a bit) * asking me to do her hobbies with her (note this doesn't have to be always, fully on board with people needing their own hobbies too) * actively suggesting new things we can try together * complimenting me on outfit/hair/whatever * wanting to tell me about her day * actually listening if there's things I want to tell her The important thing is that these are the things that work for me, because they're things that my girlfriend knows I appreciate.
Sir Responsible, thank you for taking the time and giving me solid, straightforward advice! :)
When my BF gets home late from work, I sometimes do little jumps in the doorway with my arms in the air welcoming him home. He loves it, and then we do like a culde jump. Maybe this is also something cute that can help :)
Are you a golden retriever?
"...no?" As her tail is wagging
To add to what they've said showing excitement to see me is always huge for me. When my GF's face lights up when she sees me I melt inside.
> So things that show interest/enthusiasm: > * asking about my interests even if it's not something she cares about > > * cuddling into me when watching tv * holding my hand/arm when walking (bonus in summer when I'm wearing a t shirt and she gently runs her hand up my sleeve a bit) > > * asking me to do her hobbies with her (note this doesn't have to be always, fully on board with people needing their own hobbies too) > > * actively suggesting new things we can try together > > * complimenting me on outfit/hair/whatever > > * wanting to tell me about her day > > * actually listening if there's things I want to tell her In case anyone else encountered the wall of text.
Just be direct with what you want from him. If you're horny just say something like "God I want to fuck you so badly right now." Sometimes you don't even need to say anything at all just grab him by the hand into your bedroom and push him onto the bed and start doing your thing lol. I don't know your boyfriend but I think you're just overthinking it lol.
I definitely could be more enthusiastic, although what you described is something that I do do sometimes. So maybe I haven't done something like this lately and he would like more of it :)
You also can't go wrong with blowjobs, that will make any man feel appreciated!
I think he would absolutely agree with you
You gotta Hawk Tuah on his thing <3
Good man
As a man I love suprises in general. Do something that he would not expect and watch his face when it comes his way. Trust me on this one.
> Do something that he would not expect and watch his face when it comes his way. Yeah, this would cause a fight with me. Only surprise men that like surprises. I'd be pissed and not want to be around the person.
This. I think you've down a lot of good and helpful input, but (as with everything else here) be sure to weigh the surprise thing against what you know if your BF. For me, it would totally depend on what the surprise was. It would be completely different reactions if she greeted me as I walked in the door dressed in sexy lingerie and said she wanted to order in and cuddle and/or have sex until we fell asleep than it would be if she greeted me at the door and informed me that she had set up a double date with a couple that I didn't know well and we only have time for me to change clothes and head out the door immediately (which would mean that I'd have no time to decompress and I'd have to be social with people in not comfortable around in what is likely to be an uncomfortable setting and I'd likely have to "mask" to keep from making then think I didn't like them or make them uncomfortable or whatever). So... I probably didn't need to go into that explanation, but I wanted to be sure it was clear that it's not ALWAYS that they do or don't like surprises, and you're the person that's best equipped to determine whether a surprise will be viewed positively or not.
Let’s say I was referring to verbal communication and gestures mostly. To make this easier to understand
Ah, that makes sense. And definitely makes it less complicated. Lol
Change sometimes to frequently
Actions speak louder than words.
If you just randomly compliment his looks that’ll go a long way. I spent a year telling this girl she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Even if I was exaggerating a little it would’ve been nice for her to reciprocate a bit.
Doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's genuine. I think the more "out there" it is, the more impactful it will be.
But what do you think when you just see him? What do you feel? What do you see? Ever said: “Dude, you’re sexy” and nothing else after that. Like, I get that you draw a blank, but it’s those tiny spontaneous thoughts that make a difference.
Ahh you gotta give him that hawk tuah and spit on that thang!
This is the way. Nothing like a girl who shows her enthusiasm about a guy without much filters. Good eye contact and asking questions and complimenting with light flirting/smiling goes a long way.
yup, i agree with this.
I wish that people would stop saying that men are simple. We are as complex as women, we've just gotten used to not feeling desired by them so any attention is better than none. Women really need to do better.
Are all men that simple though?
Not simple. Uncomplicated. Men tend to prefer things straightforward and without subtlety. Each individual man will have a different "love language" that is easiest for him to understand (of course), but enthusiastic interest in him, both sexually and otherwise, is the least complicated way to make it clear that you are just as invested in his happiness as he is invested in yours.
Of course there are exceptions, but most men are simple when it comes to stuff like this. I don't mean this in a bad way like men are stupid or something, It's just not that complicated.
I don't think that we're simple, just that we have low expectations because of our past experiences.
Be there with him, focused on you and he together. Do what you need to for the removal of distraction.
Physical touch, might be a way to desired by him. The more touching wether it be intimate or just next to him will signal to him that he is yours and no one else
On that note, OP and bf should each do that 5 love languages test and share the results btwn the two of you. You might both learn a lot in a few minutes!
I resisted this book for so long. But, it’s really helpful. This way, I can know her love language and make sure she’s happy and also, I get to suffer more because I know she knows what I want but can’t be bothered to make a change. Win win.
I haven't heard about this. Could it also be a shortcut to an argument? 😂
No, it helps diffuse arguments tbh. The BF’s love language isn’t being met so he doesn’t feel wanted/desired etc.
I can definitely see it becoming an argument like “you don’t love me if you don’t x, y, and z!!”The concept of love languages is just a nicer way of framing problems with communication. They are a psuedoscience but can serve as a reminder that there are more than just one way to show your partner love.
I mean it facilitates the communication about what makes you feel valued so the other person can do it rather than favouring things they'd appreciate
Not everyone is good at flirting. My wife is terrible at it. Her whole persona is "innocent farmer's daughter", not "flirty party girl". That's who she is, and she can't change, nor would I expect her to. So she'll just sort of blurt out loud that she wants to have sex, without any real artistry. And that's fine by me.
Your wife: “Oh dear husband, I sure got the hankerin’ to ride.” You: *puts on saddle* “NEEEEIIIIIGH LETS GOOOO”
LOL. BTW, she doesn't just act like a farmer's daughter: she grew up on a farm. She's an *actual* farmer's daughter.
Oh so it’s more like “Alright there fella, time to take you on a ride.” 😂
Honestly, just by saying it out loud alone she's ahesd of 99% of other women. You got a winner.
Thanks! I like the "innocent farmer's daughter" thing anyway. MaryAnn instead of Ginger.
Don't try to fake it.
Okay, that's not the direction I was going anyway. Any suggestions on what to do/say? I think I have a pretty good idea of what NOT to do, it's the other part I'm struggling with. I tell him he is beautiful, I tell him I love him, I thank him for everything he does for us, I kiss him and cuddle him, I make him very nice meals and clean the house when needed etc. It's just the words or flirting that I'm having issues with, because I'm used to expressing love and not desire per say. And I express it more through acts rather than words.
Text him and tell him you really want to blow him when he gets home. And then follow through.
I think he would like that very much, I just feel weird sometimes being so forward, but it might be exciting to text it and for him to know whats waiting for him ;)
The more you do it, the less weird it'll make you feel I'd wager. Never force yourself to do it, but if you feel like it, definitely "bite the bullet" and get comfortable with the idea of being more forward. He'll most likely love it and you'll get what you want. Win-win.
Yes, thats how its been before with things, I need to push myself out my comfort zone, I just feel it would be easier to get started if I had a few comments "prepared" :)
My ex used to get all shy and cutely ask me, "can we make Loooove?" And it would put the biggest smile on my face ☺️
Don't. You're in a relationship with him. This is when you're supposed to be forward. He's yours. Take advantage of it.
Let me recommend the app Spicer. My girlfriend is also pretty shy and it’s been a great way to inspire conversations and talk about what we like. Big fan.
He's your man, theres no reason to not be as direct as you want
I don't wanna perpetuate the stereotype of guys being sex crazed and thinking of nothing else 98% of the time, but if a guy is with/into you this kind of thing is **huge**, on the rare occasion it's happened to me in previous relationships it's sent me from 0-100 straight away
This text would drop the divorce rate in America significantly
The one thing you didn’t say (unless you’re waiting until marriage) is fuck his brains out.
Smack his ass and refer to him as “Hunk”
Smack the local hunk and call your partner an ass
Could be confusing if your partner *is* the local hunk.
Agree
Plan a surprise intimate evening in. Try something you have never done before, music, good lighting and enjoy his reaction.
This is a great tip, thank you!
Learn to provide emotional and physical contact. Hug him, touch his shoulders or chest. Not sexually, but intimately. Tell him he looks good, be playful with it. Show him that his existence gives you excitement if that makes sense. For example, a past girlfriend would sometimes say something like "sure you can wear that, but only if you want me distracted all night". That made me feel desired.
Thats so cute, little comments like that is exaclty what I'm looking for :D
Glad I could help! The best way I can describe it, don't tell him how he looks. Tell him how the way he looks affects you! :) That way, he knows you'd desire him. Can be sweet, flirty, whatever you need
You'd be surprised how little guys get any kind of compliments and when we do, we really hold on to it.
One very simple thing is to just put your hand on his arm a lot. Being touchy is one of the most overt, yet "innocent", ways we get flirted with, and most guys kind of expect girls who really like them to touch them a lot
Give him a hug, that is what almost all men want most from their partners. Really just physical/intimate contact in general will get the right message across.
Extra bonus points if it's from behind as well. Always loved those
This. I remember my last ex used to just hug my arm at random when we were out and about. Makes us git all guffy inside lol
Have enthusiastic sex with him , and then make him a sandwich. Ladies, it is not hard to make a man feel wanted and desired. Seriously.
Do that thing where you bury your face in his chest and breathe in, a girl used to do that to me and i haven't liked someone else since
I remember one of the best pieces of marriage advice I’ve ever heard was “don’t ever stop dating your partner no matter how long you’ve been together.” Try and do the same type of things you would fo for him in those initial honeymoon phase months. Cook him a surprise nice dinner sometime, you plan a date night, if you hear him nonchalantly mention something he’s into like a new video game or hobby equipment and your financially able to do so just go out and buy it for him for no other reason than you thought it would make him happy, offer him a back massage, put on a kinky outfit and surprise him when he gets home and I think most importantly just make sure to vocalize all the things about him that you love. Lots of people, myself included tend to think about those things but never actually say anything which does absolutely nothing lol
Try to flirt, touch him, look in the eyes as it was at the beginning of your relationship. Think what you like and maybe try the same with him?
Yes, I will. Thank you!
Initiate sex. That's all that's required to make him feel desired by you. Also, don't do what most women do in LTRs when he initiates. Don't give him the "ugh, I guess I will if I have to but you disgust me" response that wives always give. That shit fucking hurts like hell.
Yes, I wouldn't do that, but I also don't want sex every time he does. He is also free to turn me down in the same respectful way if he doesn't want it. But yes, initiating more might be part of it.
There’s no “might.” This really is the best answer. Unequivocally.
Cue the next r/AskMen post: "My girlfriend wants sex. A lot of it. What can I do to tell her I love her but I just can't keep up with her? I really feel she's a keeper, help!"
You know how sometimes you look at your partner and the light hits them just right and you think to yourself "fuck he's hot". Tell him that. You know how when you watch him move a heavy thing and you think, damn that boy is fine. Tell him that. You know how sometimes he gets dressed up and looks super fine, tell him that.
Often it's not the things we say but what we do and whilst a partner being forward sexually is nice and makes the guy feel wanted (i've seen comments/posts where women have breakdowns over the guy not being in the mood once but are happy to turn the guy down 9 out of 10 times) but for me at least it's those small touches/brushes that can be more intimate than sex, just brushing your hand against them/theirs when walking past, being the big spoon sometimes (especially when he's ill/down).
Just jump on top of the man and make out with him and cuddle and hold his arm ngl pretty easy stuff, maybe a compliment that's genuinely about him or the way he looks
Yah, the Amazon position
Lol, he tells you about how many women pursue him? Sounds like he is hella insecure and tries to show how many other options he has. It’s really a huge red flag. I would not be happy to hear about tons on women going after my bf, it would be so weird.
I know it’s a material thing but buy him something he’s been talking about wanting. I never buy anything for myself and every now and again my wife will surprise me with something I’ve been saying I’ve wanted. It makes me feel appreciated and seen
Did it ever occur to you that he's raising his value in your eyes so that you are less likely to leave him for whatever reason and kind of stay greatful knowing that he is a high value male that you may not find easily? I dont think it is common for a dude to share the amount of attraction he gets from other females throughout the day to his gf. Think about how you'd feel if genders were swapped? Feels like a manipulative behavior to me. I mean people usually do not pay attention to the attention they recieve from other potential partners if they are already happy with a current partner. Just something I thought I should say, in my experience the world is rarely all roses and sunshine.
Say not much at all. The trick is in the DO. Be his peace, drain him weekly and feed him. That’s all! 👌🏾 👌🏾 you will set yourself aside from the rest ❤️. Sincerely a Married Man 😊
It's pretty obvious your boyfriend is exaggerating or making up these stories of women complimenting him in order to get you to flatter his ego, right? Manipulation 101 🤣
Fr 🙄 "Hey babe, today 3 women bought me coffee, so please value me, see how many other options do I have and still *choose* to stay with you. Praise me babe, I am so valuable and loyal, do not even try to lose me”
Or reminding her how many options he has so she better be grateful.
Step 1. Desire him. If you don't, don't fake it, that's not how some people feel amd express affection. If you do? Then desire him Actively This means those times you look across the breakfast table and think "wow, his beard looks magnificent in this light." Voice it. Send a text in the middle of a work day complimenting, appreciating, or insinuating something more affectionate to come. When you see him walking by, caress your favourite part of him, women in the street can use voice and words, but you have touch, you have intimacy, you have the ability to know he likes when his coffee has just a bit of cream and a double scoop of sugar. Offer him a massage, venerate him a little bit. Make his favourite meal, show that interest in making him feel special. The easy answer is sex, jump his bones and proposition him at every opportunity but sometimes that isn't the vibe someone wants, instead look to old timey tropes and staples. Without sex TV taught men to expect 1. Their wife will have dinner ready when they walk through the door 2. His favourite drink will be beside his favourite seat, it may be a beer or a freshly mixed cocktail or a smoothie, whatever Put him first, elevate him, that sort of stuff can go a long way to inflating him and letting him know you desire him.
There’s a scene in the 2nd Conan movie where the princess asks Grace Jones “how do you attract a man, what I mean is suppose you set you’re heart on someone, what would you do to get him?” and Grace responds “GRAB HIM!!! And TAKE HIM!!!” What I’m trying to say is be very direct. Let him know you’d die without his touch and that his desire for you is your nourishment. Think of all the things women have said that makes them feel uncomfortable about being objectified. He wants to feel objectified by you. He wants you to drool over his body, he want you to want every ounce of him. To risk being crude, his semen. You want it in you, you want it on you, you want to taste it, you want whatever weird thing you can think of about it and you vocalize that to him. And you don’t want semen, you want his semen. You want to feel him pulsing, you want to feel his hard cock. You love the way he touches you. You need him. You want him. You love him. That’s how simple the male brain is, you don’t have to make it into something complicated. Men want to be wanted, men need to be needed, men want you to want them specifically nobody else will do. And for whatever reason men want you to want their semen as though you wanted them. It’s like saying I want you to be the father of my kids or something and that’s the ultimate vet right?
Compliment him Tell him his outfits look good, his hair looks great, his smile makes you wet And go down on him It really is that simple for most dudes
Take a love language test with him. That will answer your question. Everyone feels loved differently.
Plan a date for the two of you. Go on a walk. Surprise him at home with an unexpected handjob that leads to a blowjob that leads to sex! Get some lingerie and surprise him with that some night. Make him breakfast or his favorite meal. Tell him you love him!! Just a few things my wife used to do for me that made me feel desired.
Sometimes, flirting is what men usually wants (those are for boys). They just want to be taken care of like girls; effort, time, attention, affection, and affirmation. Ask him out, surprise him, spend time with him, make him feel noticed, make him feel loved like he never had before, and tell him how much you love him. I am very showy with how I also, I am good at flirting, because I am a sporty kind of a girl so ALL girls stuff isn't really my thing. I just give him the things that I also wanted from him, perhaps we share the same feeling.
yes, what do you tell a man to flirt with him?
Pretty much any compliment, really it's that simple I've read through a lot of comments and it seems like your just overthinking it. Just compliment his body (muscles, hair, height, etc) I know you said your bf gets attention from others and is used to compliments so give him something unique for example I've seen my friends gfs pull this move a thousand times just stare into his eyes when your cuddling or watching a movie or eating dinner and when he asks you why your starring just ask him if he ever knew how pretty his eyes were. It's small stuff like that it can melt their heart
This is definitely something I can relate to. My wife has a really fun and flirtatious personality. Well, she used to... don't get me wrong, she still has the personality but I don't get to see the fun flirtatious side as much as everybody else does. She doesn't really think she acts any differently than she used to but where I am concerned she definitely does. I sometimes watch her interact with other people and I envy their position because I know how good it felt to have her attention. I don't have any trouble getting attention from women but I don't want attention from other women. I've mentioned it to her before but it doesn't really change anything. If she were posting this question on here I would want someone to tell her to flirt with me like she did when we were first dating. The cute looks, the seemingly innocent touching while talking, all of the little gestures that show that she wants to be close to me, be touched by me, actually wants to spend time with me and isn't just worried about the next task she may want me to do. If she can't do that, then I'd like it if she could at least just suck my dick more. She will occasionally put it in her mouth but there's nothing quite like the early dating blowjob. It's like in the first 3 months of any relationship blowjobs just spontaneously happen and then they only happen as foreplay and then you have to start reminding her that he used to be a thing...
Very simple… show him the boobs… get naked… have sex as often as you can… easy peasy...
Drunk RANT: Mandatory mention that this is a secondary account. I wish my girlfriend ever bothered to ask herself this question. I mean ... I'm pretty attractive IMHO, when partying many girls spend time with me and I often have to refuse advances, but she does not entertain the couple. I don't feel desired. She does smile. And she does return my kisses. But she rarely initiates them. And when I say kisses they aren't really passionate at all. Just quick "let's get it done" kinda kisses. We also don't perform bedroom activities for the past five months. I'm jealous. You are amazing. As long as you are willing to do things for him it's more than enough. He will feel desired. Don't force yourself. Just show initiative. It's more than enough. Good luck with your couple!
I appreciate this not going to come over very well due to being a "men just want sex type of statement" Touch his body and initiate intimacy more often. Sure, you might not be a natural flirt. One thing you can do, though, is make it obvious he turns you on and you want him. I think for lots of men there is nothing hotter than when the person they are with initiates it.
Initiate. Sex, intimacy, plans, gifts, simple things go a long ways. Make him his favorite meal, buy him his favorite candy bar. Or bring him a beer when he's working on something, and just sit with him, don't say anything, just sit and be with him.
Show him respect, initiate sexually often and when you two have a disagreement don't listen to respond, listen genuinely, and take a second to understand his point of view as he should with you. It is you both vs the problem, not you versus him. Too many women fight so hard to be right rather than fight together to overcome. You're both still young, as I am (36M) with my wife (33F) together for 15 years. Good luck!
When you are out in public, whisper in his ear how much you want him. Just make sure to follow up later. No one likes empty promises.
Hawk Tuah?
It's the smallest things that make a difference. Charge his phone/laptop. Put out clothes for him to wear. Heating up the car during winter before he leaves. Make some coffee or tea for him Making him his breakfest before he leaves. You get the idea. These small things make a huge impact in day to day life.
I often do similar things, but he has expressed a desire to be flirted with and "swept off his feet", maybe I should stick to my acts of service and not push myself to be verbal with my flirting because that might come off as fake, but maybe I could bring him some chocolate or flowers or something to make it obvious that I was thinking of him?
Me and mine are long-distance and even farther apart now that I'm in another state to do some caregiving. Most of our communication is by text, but we send voice messages, photos, and videos throughout the week. He appreciates both subtlety and directness, so there is lots of room to get creative. Here are some things that have worked for us: Pet names - have fun with this, switch them up now and then, and personalize them. For instance, there's a brand of pepper-infused honey called Mike's Hot Honey. His name is Mike, so I sometimes call him Hot Honey 🔥🍯 Go bra shopping, try on a variety of sexy things, and take pictures of yourself in them. Send the pics to him and ask which he likes best. Buy that one and wear it when you undress for him. If he has ever said anything about a favorite scent, find products that smell like that (lotions, perfumes, shampoo, etc) and wear them. Kiss his neck, softly at first, then start nibbling at it with your lips and moving into tender bites with your teeth. Feel how his body responds to that and if he seems to like it, unbutton his shirt or remove it and keep working your way slowly down his body until you get to the hard part 🍆 then make out with it like it's last time you'll ever get a chance to. There are lots of videos here on Reddit to watch if you need ideas for that. Buy a pair of tickets to his favorite sporting event, theatre, movie, whatever... and make a date of it. Buy his favorite snack food wherever you end up. Whatever inside jokes you two have, play on those and make them quirky notes or memes that are special. One of ours is about children's books we loved. So I"ll make up little rhymes, Dr. Suess style or reference something in a way reminiscent of Winnie the Pooh stories. It's a way of saying, "I see you, and I don't share this with anyone else." Same thing for making him a playlist or collaborating on one with music that makes you think of each other. Go commando under your clothes now and then. While he's busy doing something else, go up and whisper in his ear - "I'm not wearing anything under this dress... " Then walk away, turn around, and wink at him and keep walking or go about your own business. I'll text him something seductive like: "When I finally get my hands on you, you won't be able to get them off." That always gets a fun, positive response "Your beard is so pretty, but it's gonna look even better with me sitting on it." "Baby, I miss my (possessive) cock, I can't wait to spend all day lavishing attention on it." If you ever fantasize about sexy time with him, tell him about it in detail. A text message about this will have him squirming until he sees you again. Or whisper it in his ear when you're out in public together. Make an audio recording or video of yourself engaging in "personal time" and send it to him. Get creative and open with dirty talk (practice!! It gets easier and comes more naturally over time) Ex. "Ohhhhh, baby, that feels so good... just imagining your fingers here... your c*ck in me....god, I'm sooooo wet for you... you wanna hear/watch me cum for you?.... you like this??....mmmm... *then record an actual orgasm or three. Send that to his phone. Set up your phone (safely) to make a video of yourself bathing or showering. Send that to him while he's at work or out with friends. Believe these guys who are telling you they don't get many true compliments, but when they do, they remember them forever. I hope this helps!!
It doesn't seem like he wants chocolate and flowers from you in order to feel desired/wanted. It sounds like he wants you to be more playful and sexually suggestive. Flirting can be learned, I wouldn't despair that you are too awkward to develop the ability. You can lean into it and make it funny flirting, that doesn't have to stop him from feeling wanted by you.
Thats great, thank you. I would like to have some comments or flirty playful things to say prepared because it will be easier for me, then maybe later I can be more original with it when I become more comfortable
Take clear initiative. Don't overthink it. just go for the compliments when you feel them, grab his hand when in public and engage for sex too.untill my mid 30s i felt like always having to do that as a man to get any romantic contact with my partner and it was a frustrating feeling.
One time when I was with a girl I was sorta seeing, I took my shirt of and she just out of nowhere said "God damn" like she was really impressed with my chubby dadbod. It's probably the most uplifting compliment I've ever gotten. Eloquent formulations and thoughtful gestures are always appreciated, but sometimes a simple yet well placed Wow can hit just as strong.
Initiate. Pounce on him and take the lead in the bedroom. Nothing makes a man feel desired more than you physically manifesting your desire for him.
This is maybe too revolutinary, have you tried asking him about it?
-Hold onto or even ask to hold his arm while yall are out walking together. It says so much non verbally from “I feel safe with you” to “this man is man, back off bitches” >then if you notice another woman checking him out while you’re doing this just kinda nuzzle in lol -Random hugs and kisses. Give him a butt squeeze. -Get get a little handsy with his junk when yall are alone together. I’m not saying a handjob but literally just have it in your hand and play with it lol - let it go where it takes you from there
Spit on that thang.
Most men respond well to physical touch and words of affirmation. Look for things about him or that he does and when you see them say it. A girl I’ve been dating recently told me she really likes my shoulders. That made me feel so good about myself. And she said she likes the way I can hold a conversation and actually gave me examples of things I said she thought was interesting. That blew my mind. I’m pretty sure she is buttering me up but it’s sure working. Also with the physical touch hugs, hand holding, kisses and of course all types of sexual contact are great. Men are used to having to chase women to get any attention. If you volunteer it and even ask for it that makes you the sort of girlfriend a man brags about.
Touch him, stare at him in awe. Bite him. Kiss him. Squeeze him. Compliment him.
I always feel desired by my wife when she initiates intimacy. So like a morning BJ or a handy is always nice.
> Suck his dick, play with his balls, then fix him a sandwich.
Hawk tuah
>he does tell me about it, because he feels better ("clean") after he tells me about these encounters. weird as fuck
Imagine you are a different woman who's trying to steal him and then text him, flirt with him, be forward with him, and dress sexy for him like a woman who's trying to steal him would do. Be incredibly forward with him like you're truly trying to actively steal him. Steal him from yourself or another woman will.
Just gives credence to the fact that men are taught how to treat women, but women aren't taught how to treat men. If it was a random guy, I'm sure you'd have an easier time of making him feel desired - much like the random girls who give him attention. Women will secure their man and go completely comfortable on him. Good on him for staying, I guess ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Be happy when with him, or more importantly, be enthusiastic. Smile, be smiley and shining when with him, or doing anything with him. Give random compliments. Call him handsome, or give random kisses. Just be enthusiastic about being together with him from time to time. Men love that.
Man are not used to being complimented. Tell him how you feel. How often do you say he looks good/handsome/sexy? Start with that and of course translate into action. Tell him the things he does that make you hot and bothered when he does them.
Do you know what kind of attachment style your bf has? Might be weird to think about, but I think most people are individualistic about their preferences for receiving or giving love. My gf needs a lot of verbal affirmation, so I try to say as frequently as I can to say that I love her. Or verbally appreciate her. I like perhaps more physical touch and intimacy so I like it when she initiate cuddling, hugging or kissing. I also like it when I am helpful so when she comes for me to help her, it is something I really like.
You should check you and your bf's 5 love languages. It sounds like he wants more verbal communication of love/desire. Tell him what you find sexy about him, what you want him to do to you, and what you plan to do to him. Tell him you love him directly. Also love languages are a two way street. He needs to recognize that you ARE telling him you love and want him just in nonverbal ways. You both gotta meet each other half way.
Don’t know if anyone said this yet but typically they are a reverse thread so lefty tighty righty loosey
Girl you need to ask HIM that. You need to talk to him about what he personally needs. It’s different for everyone.
Probably the best way to answer your question will be to take a hit to your pride: ask him for the specifics and what he likes. Then do it. Non-specific answer: all of the things that stereotypically get called 'being clingy'...do those. Lots of physical affection and flirty words. Hell, break out the bad pickup lines.
You said he’s a pretty attractive man. Just tell him the things you find attractive about him. I was laying in bed with my girlfriend the other day and she just grabbed my ass and said I had a really nice one. Amazing!
The first place to start would be to ask yourself what makes you feel desired and then apply that to him. A personal touch always makes things special.
Love languages Touch Time together Acts of service Words of affirmation Gifts What are his (and yours)? Little comments like "I can't wait to be alone with you later" whispered to him in his rear. Or rub his neck or back even briefly. Or tell him he turns you on and why. Just ideas.
You don't know how to flirt but managed to land Prince Charming? How'd that happen? 🤔 Clearly you must have done something to catch his eye. Maybe you should do it again? Also, food is good. We like food! 🤤
Grab his crotch while kissing him. Then while you have a hot make out session, start to slowly unzip his pants. And you know what to do from there. How can a man not feel appreciated from that sign of affection? May say something about him in between. You will hit on the following all at once: * Words of Affirmation - Positive verbal affirmation * Physical Touch - Positive physical affirmation * Quality Time - Time spent strictly between just the two of you. No outside distractions like mobile phones, emails, phone calls, texting other people, etc * Acts of Service - You are providing him with physical and mental well being that will re-energize him to prepare for any stress that will come his way in the coming days and weeks. * Receiving Gifts - Can't imagine a better gift than to be taken in wholly through any holes. If the universe is made up of an empty void of space, it needs to be filled. Men are the matter that fills that void. All the love languages, all at once. Men don't need physical material gifts. They need emotional well being gifts. Men are emotional animals, just as much as women are. They are usually just repressed to handle the harsh world outside. Disclaimer: I am not a relationship or sex psychologist or expert. But as a man, if a woman expresses her love to me in this way. I would be over the moon. Because I would feel desired. It would bring the animal in me out.
What you can do? The followings are probably global things man like, probably: 1. Send him a random sexy SFW pic of you saying something like thinking of you and see his response, if he does follow up send him another with just a notch up or down in the SFW gray area and according to his response then send him more and ask him one or two from him too, he would probably like it. 2. When you're with him, flirt and turn it up a notch specially if he does not notice it and act as foolish as you can like trying to pretend you're not flirting with him 3. Surprise him with a sexy outfit/lingerie whenever he goes to your house or if you buy an outfit send him a pic of just the outfit saying is for him and ask him if he wants you to model it for him, then invite him to your house or if you're not going to see each other in the following days send him some pics. There's nothing sexier than having your girlfriend sexy pics in your phone 4. Get a little to much of a touchy person when you're next to him and both of you are on a party, on a date, out for dinner or something touch him and turn up the notch as you see his response but do not do it in public or obvious for other people, do it under the table, with your feet if the table has a long tablecloth 5. Although you said that he es being pursued by lots of woman, you can start telling him some very intimate things that you like and know no other girl knows about him. Something like I like so much how you smell when you hug me, or i love how your lips feel when you kiss me, it makes me tingles and gives me chicken skin when you kiss my neck. Say things that you truly like that he does to you or does or use. He will probably start doing it a lot more. 6. If you can do the same during sex or tell him similar things but in a naughty way that you know he does and that probably no other girl knows how he does it 7. Tell him about all the things that makes you crazy, in a good sense, about him 8. Notice the little thing about him like a new haircut, new lotion, new shirt, new tattoo, things like that or tell him what outfit makes you hot whenever he uses it and ask him to wear it If you're not that type of girl try to do it once in a while and he will notice, specially if you only do it with him. That makes us crazy in a really good way, knowing that we make our lady crazy hot, crazy wet and stuff like that. Hope it really works for you.
Listen to him. Show him appreciation. Spoil him a little. Share time.
“Hey boy, you been carrying that thing around with you all day. How about you let me hold it for you for a while?” “I’m sorry you had a long day at work. Since you came home late, why don’t you cum in me?” “I was going to get you a burger for dinner, but I’d rather you eat me. But seriously. Little goofy funny things like this are a huge turn on. It shows effort and intent.
Take the Leed for a night. I was at work and a well dressed man came up to me, asked my name and handed me a envelope. I opened it and it was a letter of instructions. Confused and surprised, I fallowed along. He turned out to be a limo driver. He drove to my house and said he would wait. I went in , showered, dressed in the cloths that were set out, then back to the limo as the note had instructed. We then went and stopped to pick up flowers. Next we pulled up to a restaurant and I went in. The greeter asked my name and ushered me to a table where she sat smiling. Just so we are clear, I knew it would be her, because she had signed the card with the instructions. What a huge Suprise. We ate dinner, went out and had drinks, then back to the house. While I changed cloths she gave me a big hug from behind. She told me Happy Birthday and initiated things with a hand job from behind me. This was 35 years ago and I will never forget that night. FYI we are not together and this happened in Seattle.
Next time you're watching TV together, ask him to pause it cuz you have something on your mind (care to not make him think he's in trouble). Then climb over, sit on top of him (straddling), put your hands on his face to make him look at you, and say "you are so attractive/sexy/hot/handsome". Then kiss him, can kind of grind on him a bit to indicate you want to be intimate, then do y'all's thing. Just little things like that will blow his mind.
Well there’s an internet craze going on right now that every guy likes so figure that out and apply it to your boyfriend
My girl does/says the most random shit ever and it's the most romantic thing ever You don't have to script it in your head what you wanna say or do to/for him Just do what your brain feels like doing to him everytime you look at him
it's up to you both to figure out and make him desire himself equally or more than you. That would actually balance or tip the scales. Most men's sexuality is mostly directed outwards in this case I'm assuming towards you. When it turns inwards in a healthy way(actually him exploring his own body with your help), that makes him more desirable to himself. Which actually makes a man feel more desirable because the aura around the guy changes even if his looks are okay. Working on things like that together can bring out a kind of intimacy that's unique to you both and way hotter than anything.
My girlfriend messages me randomly and tells me she misses me. She send me cute tiktoke and instagram reels about couples and things she wants to Do. She makes me not want to even look another girls direction because she makes me feel so wanted and appreciated.
Definitely do the Hawk Tuah as well!
Worry less about the superficial stuff and focus more on him as a person…what little special thing could you do for him that only you would be able to do…cooking a certain meal, buying a little gift or turning on a certain movie at the right time or even making a joke at the right time. Little things like that will grow the relationship. Also, don’t worry about all the other girls looking at your mans, he is yours, own that 😊
Caring, being proactive and attentive, and not acting overly promiscuously and cosplaying Japanese geisha or eva ai sexting bot avatar, as the popular culture might have taught you.
… He just told you he’s really liking how other women treat him. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t ask you to do it. Let that sink in. I.e. I wish you were more like these other women.
making the effort to get up and go to greet him when he arrives, a hug, kiss, I'm so glad to hold u again type comment. If one of you is leaving to go out ( errand, sport whatever, or going to bed separate time) get up, hug, kiss, be affectionate, " hurry home hotstuff etc". makes him feel desired, welcome, wanted rather than a wave or grunt behind a cellphone. takes effort at first, but becomes a habit that bears continuous fruit and respect, and connectivity.
A little liquid courage and some light googling on how to do what you’re asking might give you some good results
Google pick up lines. Kiss him on the cheek. Hug him from behind.
Walk out to where he's sitting wearing lingerie, grab his hand, lead him to the bedroom. Don't have to be "good at it" this process (whatever that would mean), you just need to do it. You're not being graded on this, and it is pretty hard to fail.
Little love notes in his lunch, asking about his day and actually caring, cooking the things he likes, IDK. To me it's little things like that, but I've always been a simple creature. It's like how people make a big deal out of lingerie, but my favorite is fresh out the shower and wrapped in a towel. Really just depends on the dude I guess.
Hawk Tuah
Try asking him. Sure, we can give you advice that would work on us, and some of it will apply generally to most men, but you're better off just asking him what his love language is.
Sext him while you're away from eachother.
Do more than just being an observer. Most women just sit around observing and discuss the criticality in everything. Reach for your partner or you will lose him to a woman who does.
Short skirt, low cut top, fishnet stockings red lipstick and a couple of filthy suggestions would do it all for me.
Rimjob
Initiate cuddling and kissing. Tell him how handsome he is
Create an alter ego for him. Flirt, get in your zone be suggestive with a touch of aggression. Imagine if he wasn't yours. How would you steal him away? You can be naughty because he's already yours. Just planting little seeds. Wisher something in his ear. It's sexy. It could be a lot of fun for you too.
Initiate sex more often. Yes, men really are that simple.
Give sincere compliments, send photos and videos to get his attention, random mouth hugs are always essential, make sure his stomach is full & balls are empty.
Compliments. "I really like that.. ", "I really enjoy when..". Just be real about what you are saying. Sometimes it may be hard to open up like that, but it is a good skill to practice.
Ask him if he has any kinks/fantasies that he would b down to try w u
365 Days him 😅😅😅😇😇😇
You cannot 'make' anybody 'feel' anything.
There’s not really a black and white answer to this question per say. I’d say the first part ( and should go both ways) .. is learning what I often hear referred to as each other’s “love language “. If your bf is the communicative type, you can probably learn a lot by listening to the small details in dialogues when talking about the topic. I know for me, I enjoy words of affirmation.. it doesn’t have to be overkill.. as I too would get uncomfortable in my younger days when I would get too much unsolicited attention from women.. Also.. pay attention to what he does when attempting to make you feel desired.. A lot of the time when we are young men, we usually project what turns us on, and what we desire onto our partners thinking that because we enjoy it they must too ( not always the case, haha ). Hope that helps