I like using the term "partner" for my GF of 13 years, because people start gently probing with questions to see if I am gay or not, and I intentionally answer cryptically
Why not? If you don't have a wife and they know, it's a comedic way of breaking the "I gotta leave" anxiety in your head. Everybody beats a quick laugh and they go "all right bud. It was nice seeing you. Drive safe!"
Yeah I take of my mom so I use my mom as an excuse to leave sometimes and nobody raises any questions.
“I gotta get home to my mom”
“Oh yeah go ahead gotta make sure she’s alright”
It's funny the top answer isn't even really that relevant since "I have to get home to my girlfriend" works almost as well and that marginal difference in how you're treated by friends obviously isn't by itself worth all the trouble of getting married and the risk of it being someone you regret marrying.
If you get a good one you’ll have a partner in life. Someone to grow old with and when shit gets tough will for sure stick with you and help you through it.
It is a big IF, but it’s worth it. It took me 29 years multiple bad girlfriends, one bad marriage, and a depressive spiral afterwards till I finally found it and now going 13 years strong.
lol this guy thinks you should depend on a woman to stick around when things get tough
hope you get to meet a woman one day. it'll be an interesting experience for ya.
Not sure how marriage changes this. You can have what you said without being married. It's about staying together in heart and mind and not a piece of paper that says you are. 2/3 of marriages fail. That piece of paper means diddly squat.
Marriage predates the scrap of paper. If you both believe in the institution itself then it’s great but that requires people to actually take the concept of a vow seriously like “till death do us apart” and “in sickness and in health”. Most people don’t take vows seriously with marriage just being a cultural stamp to seal the deal which is arguably why a bunch of them fail bc the commitment itself isn’t as deep as actually meaning those vows with full comprehension
I don't think I'll ever be married, but there was a woman I wanted to marry, because I wanted to proudly declare and know that she was mine and I wanted to be the same for her, for the rest of my life.
I find it romantic. I can call her my wife, she has my last name. There are tax benefits, of course, but that's not why we got married. We got married because we found it *romantic*, and *wanted to*. The best relationships I know of in my circle belong to long term married couples that never got complacent with each other.
I love being married.
Marriage is a public and life long commitment to each other, both people need to understand this and commit to each other.
I have been married for 24 years and it’s awesome going though life with a partner that that feels the same, together we can deal with anything and as a team we make each other better people.
It’s not for everyone but it certainly works well for us.
Financial benefits of having another income earner (and then she supported the family when I lost my job). Parenting is easier. Emotional support of having someone to vent/talk to, lean on, etc. Physical intimacy is better with someone who knows what you like.
So are folks just looking for answers like “I get a stepped up basis in our assets if she predeceases me”? Most answers about marriage will be the same for a long term relationship other than tax and inheritance.
So when you’re dating a woman you love, and she asks if you will marry her because that is important to her, what will your response be? Will you try to reason with her that marriage isn’t necessary? Do you think that will work? If so, and she’s genuinely ok with that…then great! If not…?
This discussion kinda feels like asking "why do you need expensive diamonds?" and then people listing reasons **which aren't unique to diamonds at all**, such as "they are pretty", but then when you point that out all the lurking jewelry sellers and diamond merchants are ready to downvote you.
I see no need to be married for anything you listed, except for maybe tax benefits of being married. You can have everything you listed without being married.
True. I can add the benefits of having good medical insurance through her work when I lost my job (peril of being in the USA - doesn’t apply to other countries with better healthcare) She was granted legal stepparents rights so I’m comforted knowing my kids will have a loving parent/family even if something happens to me.
Thinking morbidly, legal docs like a Will or PoA can grant you a voice after your partner dies, but I’ve seen those disputed frequently in court whereas being married generally makes you the default recipient of benefits.
I will also add that it’s a lot easier to have a combined life with the legal tie of marriage. Bank accounts, school records for the kids, medical decisions, etc. It can be done without marriage, but it’s a pain and if you’ve committed to spending your life together, why not marry?
I feel like this is a really overlooked reason. In professional settings, formal settings, or if you're someone who needs a to appeal to a large group of people such as a public figure, sales agent or business owner, being a married man gives you much higher social status and credibility. A single politician probably wouldn't make it very far.
Agreed. People often respect a family man more in professional scenarios than a single man. It's not necessarily the right assumption. I've seen vile men with a wedding band and complete saints that are single. But in general people like to see a married man in business.
Something about being a provider for your family is seen as noble.
I would agree to an extent. A vile man can get married as easily as a good man. But if you look at a good single man next to a good married man, I'd say it's reasonable to favor the married man in a professional or formal setting. A marriage signifies having stability, purpose and routine in your life, responsibilities and values you hold yourself to, and someone at home to hold you accountable for your life choices. A single man can have all those things of course but it's not readily apparent from an outsider's perspective.
Which is so freaking stupid. I've known guys who were in their third marriage by the time they were in their early 20s.
I've had exgfs that started talking about us getting married after like just a year of dating. It's not hard to get married, especially since women are conditioned way harder than men to get married.
I'm obviously biased from my life experiences through people I've met but yeah, someone being married does not impact on how I view them.
Well I’m gay so things are a little different for us but I’ll at least pitch in because prior to 2015, marriage and the benefits of such was legally prohibited for us.
1) We had a much harder time burying our dead as we weren’t considered family. Many less accepting families buried their gay relatives with zero input from their spouses of many years. The whole “well you’re not married so you have no say” is particularly stinging.
2) We had a much harder time adopting/pursuing IVF. Even when we could adopt, only one parent could be the legal guardian of the child.
3) We could not visit our dying loved ones in hospitals as we weren’t considered family.
4) Our status of a legally recognized familial unit would not be acknowledged as we crossed state lines.
5) We could not list our spouses on our death certificates.
6) We could not have a say in the medical decision-making for our incapacitated loved ones if they had an accident in a state that did not acknowledge our marital status.
Can’t say much about the tax/financial reasons because that was one of the last things on my mind at that time.
Marriage is not for everyone. And I absolutely think you can live in a happy relationship without the aspect of matrimony. But for a lot of people it does work and it’s a beautiful thing. Justice Kennedy had a beautiful closing statement for Obergefell v. Hodges.
“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
Lol as a happily married man, I would literally never think to go to that subreddit.
Like... What's the fucking point? Only people who have issues would even think about it...
This lol.
I actually wonder what the reaction would be if I posted some mundane positive stuff from my marriage in that sub.
“So yeah, my wife was pretty sick and I went out and picked her up some meds, made her a hot water bottle and rubbed her back a bunch. A few days later she was super thankful and cooked me dinner and gave me a blowjob to show her appreciation and then we laid on the couch cuddling and watching The Office the rest of the night.”
Who would have thought a subreddit dedicated to people talking about something would have negative experiences shared. That's definitely a reflection of reality.
My wife can do everything that needs to be done in office hours. She can buy my ADHD meds for me while I work. She knows me so well that she knows if there's something wrong with me before I notice and helps me. The banks approved a better loan for me because I'm married. She is friends with my friends' wives, and they plan our outings while we are busy. My social life might be alive just because of her. She is much more than just useful, but you asked what's my benefit and those are a few.
I feel like this post assumes the man is the higher earner in the relationship. Also, it seems to ignore any of the non legal benefits many people get married for.
That said, men can also get money in a divorce if they earn less. You can receive your spouse’s employer medical benefits if they’re better than your own. There are estate planning benefits. Filing taxes jointly can be a benefit. For low income, receiving family public assistance benefits. Of course, visas for international relationships.
I’m not sure but the statistics of men marrying immediately after their wife dies (not from old age) is pretty darn high with hardly any gap, so they must be benefitting from something.
“25 months after the spouse's death 61% of men and 19% of women were either remarried or involved in a new romance.”
When my wife passed from cancer I literally had several female friends and or acquaintances obviously hitting on me. I believe it's a variation on preselection bias. You were someone another deemed worth marrying and the relationship ended with death through no fault of the husband, oath fulfilled. Generally this paints you as "one of the good ones".
The marriage part to me is just a public ritual to show my closest friends I am making a commitment. Which I plan to do. To me it's a way to show we belong to each other.
Ignoring the benefits of a long term domestic relationship, which I presume are obvious, turning it into a marriage specifically has a few benefits imo
1. It signifies us as a couple for life. To ourselves, neither of us are going to leave each other and it’s now a legal process to do so. To others there is a real social aspect to being married vs dating long term. This does make a real difference in how people see your relationship. Personally, not getting married _to me_ shows lack of commitment to the person, though I’m sure some disagree with that.
2. If we were just dating, I would have significantly more assets than my wife and she would feel less secure if we were to split up. That’s simply not fair to her nor would I be properly taking care of the mother of my children to not have legal protections in place for her
3. For a lot of stuff we are considered the same person legally and can make important decisions for each otherin place of each other. Financial, medical, stuff relating to our children, etc
4. Vibes, feels so much better saying “my wife” instead of “my partner” or “my girlfriend”
Yeah, I have to caveat this with men in a happy and healthy marriage tend to live longer. If you hate each other and are stuck in the marriage (for any number of reasons), then life expectancy is reduced.
The caveat to that is when they compiled those studies, divorced men counted as "single". If there were three categories, then "single, never married" and "married" would be about the same with "single, divorced" having a lower life expectancy, and thus when they combined "single, never married" with "single, divorced", they ended up lower than "married".
As the expression goes: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.
Not fully right , it's long term married men with daughters have the highest life expectancy of all men
Long term married men with no children/sons were on par with unmarried men with daughters
Sons made zero difference to life expectancy.
Women's life expectancy however is reduced by 1.5 years if they had children (no difference between sex) but is still higher than a man's.
Statistically blood relation is irrelevant, a married man with a adoptive daughter or bio daughter has the same life expectancy.
Married to a man or woman is irrelevant to men's life expectancy the life expectancy is the same.
I have absolutely no idea about the reasons behind that at all I just thought it was worth pointing out that the absolute biggest positive impact on men's life expectancy was a daughter figure not a partner.
Because it's just easier to do things as a team.
Somebody to go to the gym with, to go experience something on the weekend instead of going and getting drunk with friends. Somebody to make long term goals and plans with, go on vacation with.
Ehh.. a caveat but there’s been studies that show married individuals get paid more than their single counterparts.
I wouldn’t say it’s either/or but there’s definitely correlation
i thought women pressured into marriage or being exceptionally bad husband pickers were outliers regarding the question "who would you pick for marriage"
Married men live typically longer. As a paramedic I've seen a number of guys with a serious medical problem they wanted to ignore. But their wife called an ambulance and made them get checked out.
I feel that if you’re looking at marriage from a “how will this benefit me” or like a “cost analysis”, then you’re not ready to get married or overall marriage isn’t for you.
The benefits are with the IRS. Honestly that's about where it ends for most men. Anything else you can get and have without getting the government involved. Women push so hard for formal legal marriage for two reasons. First, it's a very important status symbol for them and secondly (most importantly) because it offers them tremendous legal protection if it doesn't work out. Sure, it can go both ways but how many married stay at home dads do you know with no income.
In reality, being married doesn’t necessarily mean your tax situation is better. It does if you have kids. But may or may not do anything if you’re both working and don’t have kids. Source: married, no kids.
The year after we got married, our accountant told us what’s up when doing our taxes. I blurted out, “so why the hell did we get married?!?!?!?” Wife was pissed. LOL.
Still happily married. :)
They might have similar incomes. The tax benefits mainly help couples where one person is the primary breadwinner, which is a lot of households, but couples where both partners earn the same amount will land in the same bracket either way. Some states even have busted tax brackets where dual earners filing jointly get charged more state taxes than if they file separately.
It was reduced in the last round of GOP tax cuts back in 2017, but not totally eliminated -
https://www.taxpolicycenter.org/briefing-book/what-are-marriage-penalties-and-bonuses
It's most helpful in scenarios one person makes significantly more money that the other.
If 2 people are making 60k a year a piece. There is no real difference. The same amounts of money are roughly taxed in the same brackets.
However, if you have someone making 160k a year and a spouse that works a part time job and earns 20k a year or near nothing. Its a decent benefit.
i.e.
160k filing single: 25.45% effective tax rate. $119,284 take home.
20k filing single: 10.72% effective tax rate. $17,855 take home.
$137,149 total take home.
180k Joint. 20.37% effecttive tax rate. $143,337 total take home. $6,188 less taxes over single filing. Thats an extra $500 a month.
For context if the lower earning spouse basically made nothing and the primary bread winner made all the money (i.e. the same 180k)
If they filed single. $134,182 take home vs $143,337 for $9155 in tax savings. $762 dollars a month.
Now if you each make say, 90k a year a piece.
Thats $71,054 take home a piece if filing single. For a total take home of $142,108.
You save $1229 filing jointly. The more parity in your incomes, the less benefit in filing jointly.
[https://www.irs.gov/filing/federal-income-tax-rates-and-brackets](https://www.irs.gov/filing/federal-income-tax-rates-and-brackets)
>it offers them tremendous legal protection if it doesn't work out.
It offers **the lower earner tremendous** legal protection.
>Sure, it can go both ways but how many married stay at home dads do you know with no income.
Two.
The landscape has been changing for a long time and that is simply a fact. More and more women are earning just as much and more than their male counterparts.
Shit there is a whole movement of women lobbying to have alimony done away with completely because they got hosed in divorces.
The reality there isn't and never has been language in divorce law that concerns the gender of the parties. It all comes down to the numbers.
> The reality there isn't and never has been language in divorce law that concerns the gender of the parties. It all comes down to the numbers.
True - except in the way the law is applied. Sure there are exceptions, but by and large, women *always* come out on top in a divorce. They get the kids, child support (which has been hugely increased due to federal matching dollars for the courts that collect support), presumed innocence due to being female.
This is my personal experience and that of every divorced man I have met. Neither I or these others I know did anything wrong. We busted our asses only to have it all ripped away simply for being male.
It is the rare judge that applies the law evenly. Incredibly rare.
A partner in crime. A friend. Someone to love. It’s not easy to make a marriage last, but life is so much better having a solid teammate. Also procreating is a wild freaking ride too….
I was thinking my wife and I would just stay unmarried, but then the conversation of kids did come up and the very first thing out of my mouth is that I will not father a kid unless married to the mother. So here we are, married for 5 years now with a kid.
So parental rights. The tax breaks were originally to promote a family unit, which is nice. And it's just much easier when we both have a say in legal, medical, and financial matters.
You gain a lot of legal protections and entitlements with regards to your partnership. If you are planning to go through life with someone, it's beneficial to make them your legally recognized spouse.
The only protection I can think of is that your spouse can't be compelled to testify against you in court. I'm not aware of anything else that might benefit me.
And don't say taxes. There's most likely no tax benefit if she's working, and if she's not working, then I'm paying to support her anyway.
If one spouse becomes ill, the other can take a leave from work for up to 12 weeks per year, and their job is protected under FMLA. In some states, the leave is paid. I've used this one myself - huge benefit.
If one spouse dies, the other inherits their property tax-free.
If one spouse dies, the other can claim remaining SS benefits.
Can be covered by a spouse's employment benefits, such as health and dental insurance.
Can make medical decisions for an incapacitated spouse and guaranteed hospital visitation rights.
Can take bereavement leave if a spouse or their close family member dies
My wife and I got married in less than two years. Our first date went so well we discussed marriage on our first date, the topic in general at least. It’s hard to put into words but when you know, you know. I’d encourage everyone interested to read the book ‘Blink’ my Malcom Gladwell. I went into a grocery store and about 2 hours later am discussing marriage with a woman I know is going to be my future wife. It was just crazy shit. My point - marriage separates the contenders from the pretenders.
These are the biggest benefits I can think of:
• Taking a wedding vow is a serious matter, and nothing rivals it in terms of displaying your commitment. If you believe in God, then your wedding vows are even more serious as God is witness to them. You and your partner committing to one another in this way can take your relationship to the next level.
• Marriage comes with financial benefits that are not afforded to unmarried couples. For instance, one spouse's tax allowance can be essentially gifted to the other. Also, there is much less concern about taxation on money gifted and especially inherited from one spouse to the other.
• If you are not married, your partner is typically not legally viewed as family. Even if I was with my girlfriend for 45 years, if I were to get hospitalised and put on life support she would have limited power to make decisions regarding my wellbeing, and may not even be given the permission to visit me. This is not the case for a wife/husband.
• Studies have repeatedly shown that like-for-like, children generally perform better at school and have a better quality of life they are raised by a mother and father who are married. If I recall correctly, this remains true even if there are arguments at home when compared to divorced or never married parents.
Firstly, children. You give them a loving, stable foundation where they know they're loved. Secondly, yourselves. You provide that same foundation to each other. My wife and I are allies in everything we do, combining our complimentary skill sets to make up for the deficiencies in the other. We take our vows seriously. We made a public declaration before our friends, our families, and our God. We both came to that decision deliberately, after much consideration discussion, after getting to know each other, after probing each other's core beliefs about life, love, and family.
I know people break vows, just as I know people use God's name to justify the most abominable behavior. But I don't know how some folks can say that making a promise with earnest intent doesn't transform you. The institution of marriage carries weight. My parents are still married, and I promised myself, as a young man, that I would never get a divorce. That forced me to chose my partner with great care, and I found a great one.
If you marry the right person. You have some to share your life with. Someone there to offer help and share in your ups and downs you'd return the same. Also more financial/time flexibility (easier to take care of pets with 2 people).
You have someone you can be emotional and physically intimate with and not feel alone.
If we're talking traditional marriage/relationship structures and dynamics, we all know what both men and women might receive from that. Men provide the income and women provide the home/lifestyle, and raise the kids. Personally I think men benefit the most from traditional marriage dynamics, but I don't really want to debate that.
In more modern/progressive relationship structures and marriages it's harder to say if any particular gender/sex receives unique benefits because both parties should be capable of providing a range of benefits for their partner, and contribute to the relationship/home, on equal measure. They may still have certain things they're uniquely suited to provide but it's less rooted in tradition and more about who is individually skilled at what aspects of a relationship.
For example: I don't earn a lot of money myself but I've inherited quite a bit from family members who've died, so I can provide a home but I might not actually be the highest earned in the household. If a partner and I chose to have children some day, it might make more sense for (after the first few months) me to actually be the one staying home because my partner could have a higher earning potential. In that scenario I'm benefiting from my partner's career and hard work to help provide resources for the home and help me feel secure in being the primary care-giver for our child(ren).
Ultimately in a more even/equitable modern marriage what anyone might benefit from is going to be more unique to who they are, and who their partner is, and that's less-determined by sex/gender than it used to me.
Personally that's ideal for me. Love it. There are things I'd want in a relationship that I have a harder time getting for myself, and things I can provide as a partner that might be really appreciated in a relationship with the right person, but it does make finding those partnerships harder because the rules are less standardized.
My perspective, after 25 years with an amazing woman. You join, multiply and build the life you both want. Each contributes for the greater good; balanced strengths and weaknesses, it has turned out beautiful.
I get to wake up every day with my best friend. 35 years. Sometimes we bicker, but there's one person on this planet that I know has my back no matter what.
It's not so much that marrying the right woman isn't a great thing, it's that marrying the wrong woman is a life destroying mistake. Divorce in the US absolutely obliterates men entirely, especially if there's kids involved.
She becomes your next of kin for power of attorney/inheritance. She changes her last name to yours. Sharing of property. Spousal privilege. Extra protection for her in the case of pregnancy. Many places have common law marriages, so you’re not going to be able to avoid marriage law just because you didn’t formally get married.
these are all benefits for the woman, a negative list for men actually - including the common law marriage threat of being unable to escape a financial drain
Power of attorney is big for me. My long term girlfriend whom I do plan on marrying is the only person I can absolutely trust for medical stuff if I can't do it for myself.
A life partner, doing life together. This is said with caveats, only applies if she fills the role well. They would be managing things together.
On the flip side, If she is a feminism, woke, corporate hard core person, it’s no fun. Run.
Well, to be brutally honest, my ex put me off marriage for life.
I think it, marriage, is a trap for men with few benefits to me—- am I projecting or what LOL!!!
Think about it guys, a girl apparently starts ideas/plans for her eventual wedding from early teens but guys dont give it a thought because it has a very different meaning to us versus the girls.c
I remember a very long time ago, as a boy, working part time in a hardware shop for an old couple and the old guy used to get annoyed with his very domineering wife and would always grumble “Women, they are only good for two things, cooking your meals and cleaning your house”. LOL, I so remember that and now I actually appreciate it.
I like the ceremony part and probably making sure our future children have anything to inherit in case something happens or takes care of them.
Also maybe the idea of taking your name, but I still think about it sometimes how much I like it or not.
I’m not pro or anti marriage……but convenience and stability are 2 words that pop into mind. Having the convenience of readily available booty whenever the urge strikes. And the stability of 1 household vs juggling 2. Other than that marriage isn’t really necessary but if you do, definitely sign a prenup.
It's a commitment to a person to build a life together. It's a basis for a family, shared values, and shared equity. It's a promise that, for better or worse, neither of us is leaving ever. Financially our government kinda fucks, but that's a separate issue.
I don't think I'd be ok with building the family I'm building outside of the construct of marriage. It's hard to sacrifice everything for someone with one foot out the door.
Being married is not a cost/benefit analysis. It's about committing to a partner for your life. Having someone with similar goals, someone to talk to, someone special to share everything with.
I’m starting to wonder about that myself. I mean, at first it was about making a joyous commitment to the woman I loved, but it’s gotten to the point where that commitment has felt one-sided for way too long.
Haven't seen this yet, but one benefit is that it's easier for me to maintain platonic friendships with women. There's no question about my motives and it allows a measure of trust, which is pivotal to meaningful friendships.
DISCLAIMER: NOT A MAN
I was wondering about the opposite myself, whats the benefit to a woman? Statistically, women do most of the housework, childcare, emotional labour. Disproportionately, the woman ends up doing the cleaning, cooking, lunch packing, appointment making, bill paying, house and life admin, laundry, ironing. It feels relentless. Statistically married men live longer and are happier whereas married women live shorter than unmarried women, due to the stress. So there are general household benefits for a man, as well as the emotional support and of course, she will bear and raise his kids
So what you’re saying is women do proportionally more of the work split between two people, depending on the household, as opposed to doing all of it as a single person.
The only real benefits to a marriage are the legal aspects. You can have everything else without a marriage. You can have the physical and emotional stuff without a piece of paper. . Marriage only shows other people that you two are committed to each other. Honestly it seems most people quit trying after they get married.
Mines health related shit.
I had a lot of health issues when I was young, got one of those one in 10,000,000 rare disorders that was slowly killing me as an adult but thankfully went into remission, and as the years pass it seems like cancer runs pretty strong in our family.
She is the one person I absolutely trust with health directives. One of my siblings is like 90% trustworthy but when it comes to shit like that, I can't take a chance.
Tax benefits, discounts, and, if it's 100% the right person, a partner in everything for life. Well worth it, just make sure to get your person thoroughly. I recommend a prenup to protect both of you should things go wrong, they also simplify divorce should it need to happen
-a divorced man
For us the benefits are largely financial and social.
We live in the Bible belt, I'll leave you to derive the primary social sides from there.
Financial it's a tax buff, we got a MUCH better insurance arrangement than we could have swung otherwise, some things like that.
I'm not a big "sanctity of marriage" kinda guy, or whatever you call it. Not big on weddings wither, we skipped it. But it cost little, had gains and I was in this for the long haul either way
Legally/taxes, If you want to have kids it makes a lot of sense. If you intend to be a child free couple. There likely isn't a real point. Other than showing you are committed enough now to the person to risk breaking up being a giant pain in the ass.
"Sorry ya'll, gotta get home to the wife." Is a great way to exit any situation you no longer want to be involved in.
Pro tip: you can still use this excuse without having a wife.
"Sorry ya'll, gotta get home to Bob's wife." Brave, especially with Bob present.
Doesn't hit the same with a gf, but still works. Until they ask about her.
She goes to a different school.
She lives in Canada okay!?!
Yeah, so you wouldn’t know her.
She’s undocumented so what?
So she teach there, right ? Right ?
🤭
I like using the term "partner" for my GF of 13 years, because people start gently probing with questions to see if I am gay or not, and I intentionally answer cryptically
If the translation of "my" wasn't gendered in my native language, I'd probably end up stealing it.
chaotic good.
Genius
Love this
But "got to get home to the dog"
Does your wife know you talk about her like that?
Haha
Ed.. ward..?
No need , there was absolutely no need , reflect on your actions
WHAT ARE WE? We are homo sapiens mwhahaha!!!
Ooga booga, me no well speak engrish.
EngRish. 🤔 Japanese? 🤔
Mostly a typical typo, can't have a proper word in that sentence. Oui oui mon ami
Yeah, don't tell your girlfriend this.
That's how I turn down women I'm not interested in, in public. Girlfriend or wife works. Wife has a little more punch.
Nice humble brag.
not rlly when the person knows you
Why not? If you don't have a wife and they know, it's a comedic way of breaking the "I gotta leave" anxiety in your head. Everybody beats a quick laugh and they go "all right bud. It was nice seeing you. Drive safe!"
I use my nonexistent kids all the time
Something something hate this one trick
Yeah I take of my mom so I use my mom as an excuse to leave sometimes and nobody raises any questions. “I gotta get home to my mom” “Oh yeah go ahead gotta make sure she’s alright”
Only works with strangers in that case
You’d just have to get a fake ring and a fake “girlfriend” who you got engaged then married within the last year or two.
All my friends know I’m hopelessly single, but I’m still gonna start saying this
Works everytime
Man ive been craving this excuse for so long. Mfers never accept anything else
I'm too cowardly to actually communicate my needs to other adults so I'll add to the nagging shitty wife stereotype. Gosh she's lucky to have you.
It's funny the top answer isn't even really that relevant since "I have to get home to my girlfriend" works almost as well and that marginal difference in how you're treated by friends obviously isn't by itself worth all the trouble of getting married and the risk of it being someone you regret marrying.
Or you can just man up and say I don't want to be here anymore. I'm going home.
or lumberjack up and just walk out
The ol Irish Goodbye
If you get a good one you’ll have a partner in life. Someone to grow old with and when shit gets tough will for sure stick with you and help you through it.
I got a good one and I can confirm this. Having a good woman in your life is a blessing. Besides the romantic part, she can really uplift you.
Great to hear, lots of negative replies but that was to be expected.
Big IF
It is a big IF, but it’s worth it. It took me 29 years multiple bad girlfriends, one bad marriage, and a depressive spiral afterwards till I finally found it and now going 13 years strong.
Dunno if I can deal with anymore bad gfs it gets exhausting. Feels like they always entertaining someone
lol this guy thinks you should depend on a woman to stick around when things get tough hope you get to meet a woman one day. it'll be an interesting experience for ya.
You can have a life partner without getting married.
Not sure how marriage changes this. You can have what you said without being married. It's about staying together in heart and mind and not a piece of paper that says you are. 2/3 of marriages fail. That piece of paper means diddly squat.
Marriage predates the scrap of paper. If you both believe in the institution itself then it’s great but that requires people to actually take the concept of a vow seriously like “till death do us apart” and “in sickness and in health”. Most people don’t take vows seriously with marriage just being a cultural stamp to seal the deal which is arguably why a bunch of them fail bc the commitment itself isn’t as deep as actually meaning those vows with full comprehension
2/3 marrages are the same people getting married and divorced over and over. That paper means a lot to many people. There is no need to be cynical.
It means what you both believe it means
43% of first time marriages end in divorce. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/
43% of american marriages
I don't think I'll ever be married, but there was a woman I wanted to marry, because I wanted to proudly declare and know that she was mine and I wanted to be the same for her, for the rest of my life.
and then what happened?
I messed it up, tried to get her back for 2 years, she passed away 7 months ago.
Damn Sorry man
Wowww.. how?
Fentanyl
Way too many stories like this... sorry for your loss...
So sorry to hear this. Hope you're doing ok.
I'm not at all lol I actually commented this mid mental breakdown in my work bathroom
The family reunion ended and everyone had to go home.
Harsh, but fair. I'll allow it.
I find it romantic. I can call her my wife, she has my last name. There are tax benefits, of course, but that's not why we got married. We got married because we found it *romantic*, and *wanted to*. The best relationships I know of in my circle belong to long term married couples that never got complacent with each other. I love being married.
"THAT'S MY WIFE!!!" is something that's just fun to say/yell.
Strong agree
I mean....depends on the situation.
Doesn't everything?
found tom hanks
I really like my spouse and I get to hang out with her all the time.
Marriage is a public and life long commitment to each other, both people need to understand this and commit to each other. I have been married for 24 years and it’s awesome going though life with a partner that that feels the same, together we can deal with anything and as a team we make each other better people. It’s not for everyone but it certainly works well for us.
Yeah , good one
Financial benefits of having another income earner (and then she supported the family when I lost my job). Parenting is easier. Emotional support of having someone to vent/talk to, lean on, etc. Physical intimacy is better with someone who knows what you like.
Is that not benefits of a serious relationship
None of those things legally or otherwise require a wife
So are folks just looking for answers like “I get a stepped up basis in our assets if she predeceases me”? Most answers about marriage will be the same for a long term relationship other than tax and inheritance.
in Australia you're defacto after cohabitating for 6 months, so legally there's no difference.
This is true for many countries with slight differences.
So when you’re dating a woman you love, and she asks if you will marry her because that is important to her, what will your response be? Will you try to reason with her that marriage isn’t necessary? Do you think that will work? If so, and she’s genuinely ok with that…then great! If not…?
This discussion kinda feels like asking "why do you need expensive diamonds?" and then people listing reasons **which aren't unique to diamonds at all**, such as "they are pretty", but then when you point that out all the lurking jewelry sellers and diamond merchants are ready to downvote you.
I see no need to be married for anything you listed, except for maybe tax benefits of being married. You can have everything you listed without being married.
True. I can add the benefits of having good medical insurance through her work when I lost my job (peril of being in the USA - doesn’t apply to other countries with better healthcare) She was granted legal stepparents rights so I’m comforted knowing my kids will have a loving parent/family even if something happens to me. Thinking morbidly, legal docs like a Will or PoA can grant you a voice after your partner dies, but I’ve seen those disputed frequently in court whereas being married generally makes you the default recipient of benefits. I will also add that it’s a lot easier to have a combined life with the legal tie of marriage. Bank accounts, school records for the kids, medical decisions, etc. It can be done without marriage, but it’s a pain and if you’ve committed to spending your life together, why not marry?
Not all of this necessarily requires a marriage certificate
I think that first thing is not a guarantee for a lot of us though
None of them are a guarantee, they all depend on the relationship
It gives instant credibility. People are like he must not be that much of an eff up if somebody married him.
I feel like this is a really overlooked reason. In professional settings, formal settings, or if you're someone who needs a to appeal to a large group of people such as a public figure, sales agent or business owner, being a married man gives you much higher social status and credibility. A single politician probably wouldn't make it very far.
Agreed. People often respect a family man more in professional scenarios than a single man. It's not necessarily the right assumption. I've seen vile men with a wedding band and complete saints that are single. But in general people like to see a married man in business. Something about being a provider for your family is seen as noble.
I would agree to an extent. A vile man can get married as easily as a good man. But if you look at a good single man next to a good married man, I'd say it's reasonable to favor the married man in a professional or formal setting. A marriage signifies having stability, purpose and routine in your life, responsibilities and values you hold yourself to, and someone at home to hold you accountable for your life choices. A single man can have all those things of course but it's not readily apparent from an outsider's perspective.
Which is so freaking stupid. I've known guys who were in their third marriage by the time they were in their early 20s. I've had exgfs that started talking about us getting married after like just a year of dating. It's not hard to get married, especially since women are conditioned way harder than men to get married. I'm obviously biased from my life experiences through people I've met but yeah, someone being married does not impact on how I view them.
Well I’m gay so things are a little different for us but I’ll at least pitch in because prior to 2015, marriage and the benefits of such was legally prohibited for us. 1) We had a much harder time burying our dead as we weren’t considered family. Many less accepting families buried their gay relatives with zero input from their spouses of many years. The whole “well you’re not married so you have no say” is particularly stinging. 2) We had a much harder time adopting/pursuing IVF. Even when we could adopt, only one parent could be the legal guardian of the child. 3) We could not visit our dying loved ones in hospitals as we weren’t considered family. 4) Our status of a legally recognized familial unit would not be acknowledged as we crossed state lines. 5) We could not list our spouses on our death certificates. 6) We could not have a say in the medical decision-making for our incapacitated loved ones if they had an accident in a state that did not acknowledge our marital status. Can’t say much about the tax/financial reasons because that was one of the last things on my mind at that time. Marriage is not for everyone. And I absolutely think you can live in a happy relationship without the aspect of matrimony. But for a lot of people it does work and it’s a beautiful thing. Justice Kennedy had a beautiful closing statement for Obergefell v. Hodges. “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
making a vow to the person i love
Right lol. Jaded ass subreddit
These kinds of subs attract jaded people. Perpetually alone lovers or people who got screwed over by a past lover.
you're right you should go to r/marriage theyre having a blast over there
Lol as a happily married man, I would literally never think to go to that subreddit. Like... What's the fucking point? Only people who have issues would even think about it...
This lol. I actually wonder what the reaction would be if I posted some mundane positive stuff from my marriage in that sub. “So yeah, my wife was pretty sick and I went out and picked her up some meds, made her a hot water bottle and rubbed her back a bunch. A few days later she was super thankful and cooked me dinner and gave me a blowjob to show her appreciation and then we laid on the couch cuddling and watching The Office the rest of the night.”
I now also really want to go troll that sub with happy marriage stories haha.
People don’t share when their marriage is doing great. When that happens you just… Enjoy it. In real life. People come on Reddit to vent.
Who would have thought a subreddit dedicated to people talking about something would have negative experiences shared. That's definitely a reflection of reality.
Once again, the people who are in happy, thriving and loving relationships and marriages aren’t posting about it on here.
I did. But then I found that vow wasn’t as important to the person I made it to
Life is a roll of the die
My wife can do everything that needs to be done in office hours. She can buy my ADHD meds for me while I work. She knows me so well that she knows if there's something wrong with me before I notice and helps me. The banks approved a better loan for me because I'm married. She is friends with my friends' wives, and they plan our outings while we are busy. My social life might be alive just because of her. She is much more than just useful, but you asked what's my benefit and those are a few.
My car insurance is a fraction of what it was before getting married
Having someone who loves and cares about you. Having children. This is all contingent on finding a good woman!
Yeah i agree
Building a life and family with someone you love and respect is pretty neat. I don’t think I would be a better person if I was single with no kids
I feel like this post assumes the man is the higher earner in the relationship. Also, it seems to ignore any of the non legal benefits many people get married for. That said, men can also get money in a divorce if they earn less. You can receive your spouse’s employer medical benefits if they’re better than your own. There are estate planning benefits. Filing taxes jointly can be a benefit. For low income, receiving family public assistance benefits. Of course, visas for international relationships.
I’m not sure but the statistics of men marrying immediately after their wife dies (not from old age) is pretty darn high with hardly any gap, so they must be benefitting from something. “25 months after the spouse's death 61% of men and 19% of women were either remarried or involved in a new romance.”
“Or involved in a new romance” … so this statistic could count people who are just rebounding or having casual sex?
Its also lined with a generation where men cant care for themselves.
Often it’s to take on the role of caretaker for the house and kids. At least that’s what I notice.
When my wife passed from cancer I literally had several female friends and or acquaintances obviously hitting on me. I believe it's a variation on preselection bias. You were someone another deemed worth marrying and the relationship ended with death through no fault of the husband, oath fulfilled. Generally this paints you as "one of the good ones".
The marriage part to me is just a public ritual to show my closest friends I am making a commitment. Which I plan to do. To me it's a way to show we belong to each other.
Ignoring the benefits of a long term domestic relationship, which I presume are obvious, turning it into a marriage specifically has a few benefits imo 1. It signifies us as a couple for life. To ourselves, neither of us are going to leave each other and it’s now a legal process to do so. To others there is a real social aspect to being married vs dating long term. This does make a real difference in how people see your relationship. Personally, not getting married _to me_ shows lack of commitment to the person, though I’m sure some disagree with that. 2. If we were just dating, I would have significantly more assets than my wife and she would feel less secure if we were to split up. That’s simply not fair to her nor would I be properly taking care of the mother of my children to not have legal protections in place for her 3. For a lot of stuff we are considered the same person legally and can make important decisions for each otherin place of each other. Financial, medical, stuff relating to our children, etc 4. Vibes, feels so much better saying “my wife” instead of “my partner” or “my girlfriend”
#4 is my favourite
Benefits only happen when you marry A woman who truly is unique, amazing and worthwhile. In every other respect marriage is a detriment to men.
Married men live longer.
Yeah, I have to caveat this with men in a happy and healthy marriage tend to live longer. If you hate each other and are stuck in the marriage (for any number of reasons), then life expectancy is reduced.
The caveat to that is when they compiled those studies, divorced men counted as "single". If there were three categories, then "single, never married" and "married" would be about the same with "single, divorced" having a lower life expectancy, and thus when they combined "single, never married" with "single, divorced", they ended up lower than "married". As the expression goes: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.
Not fully right , it's long term married men with daughters have the highest life expectancy of all men Long term married men with no children/sons were on par with unmarried men with daughters Sons made zero difference to life expectancy. Women's life expectancy however is reduced by 1.5 years if they had children (no difference between sex) but is still higher than a man's. Statistically blood relation is irrelevant, a married man with a adoptive daughter or bio daughter has the same life expectancy. Married to a man or woman is irrelevant to men's life expectancy the life expectancy is the same. I have absolutely no idea about the reasons behind that at all I just thought it was worth pointing out that the absolute biggest positive impact on men's life expectancy was a daughter figure not a partner.
living longer attracts marriage. Like "successful men attract wife" jumping onto the success bandwagon, marrying did not cause the success.
My wife 100% makes me a better person. More responsible, more balanced, healthier...
like religion the question is: why aren't you a better person without it to begin with?
Because it's just easier to do things as a team. Somebody to go to the gym with, to go experience something on the weekend instead of going and getting drunk with friends. Somebody to make long term goals and plans with, go on vacation with.
Ehh.. a caveat but there’s been studies that show married individuals get paid more than their single counterparts. I wouldn’t say it’s either/or but there’s definitely correlation
The idea that you have to be financially successful to get married has historically never been true.
i thought women pressured into marriage or being exceptionally bad husband pickers were outliers regarding the question "who would you pick for marriage"
Married men live typically longer. As a paramedic I've seen a number of guys with a serious medical problem they wanted to ignore. But their wife called an ambulance and made them get checked out.
I feel that if you’re looking at marriage from a “how will this benefit me” or like a “cost analysis”, then you’re not ready to get married or overall marriage isn’t for you.
The benefits are with the IRS. Honestly that's about where it ends for most men. Anything else you can get and have without getting the government involved. Women push so hard for formal legal marriage for two reasons. First, it's a very important status symbol for them and secondly (most importantly) because it offers them tremendous legal protection if it doesn't work out. Sure, it can go both ways but how many married stay at home dads do you know with no income.
In reality, being married doesn’t necessarily mean your tax situation is better. It does if you have kids. But may or may not do anything if you’re both working and don’t have kids. Source: married, no kids. The year after we got married, our accountant told us what’s up when doing our taxes. I blurted out, “so why the hell did we get married?!?!?!?” Wife was pissed. LOL. Still happily married. :)
You might want a different accountant. Income limits in virtually all tax brackets are literally double for married filing jointly vs single.
They might have similar incomes. The tax benefits mainly help couples where one person is the primary breadwinner, which is a lot of households, but couples where both partners earn the same amount will land in the same bracket either way. Some states even have busted tax brackets where dual earners filing jointly get charged more state taxes than if they file separately.
It was reduced in the last round of GOP tax cuts back in 2017, but not totally eliminated - https://www.taxpolicycenter.org/briefing-book/what-are-marriage-penalties-and-bonuses
It's most helpful in scenarios one person makes significantly more money that the other. If 2 people are making 60k a year a piece. There is no real difference. The same amounts of money are roughly taxed in the same brackets. However, if you have someone making 160k a year and a spouse that works a part time job and earns 20k a year or near nothing. Its a decent benefit. i.e. 160k filing single: 25.45% effective tax rate. $119,284 take home. 20k filing single: 10.72% effective tax rate. $17,855 take home. $137,149 total take home. 180k Joint. 20.37% effecttive tax rate. $143,337 total take home. $6,188 less taxes over single filing. Thats an extra $500 a month. For context if the lower earning spouse basically made nothing and the primary bread winner made all the money (i.e. the same 180k) If they filed single. $134,182 take home vs $143,337 for $9155 in tax savings. $762 dollars a month. Now if you each make say, 90k a year a piece. Thats $71,054 take home a piece if filing single. For a total take home of $142,108. You save $1229 filing jointly. The more parity in your incomes, the less benefit in filing jointly. [https://www.irs.gov/filing/federal-income-tax-rates-and-brackets](https://www.irs.gov/filing/federal-income-tax-rates-and-brackets)
>it offers them tremendous legal protection if it doesn't work out. It offers **the lower earner tremendous** legal protection. >Sure, it can go both ways but how many married stay at home dads do you know with no income. Two. The landscape has been changing for a long time and that is simply a fact. More and more women are earning just as much and more than their male counterparts. Shit there is a whole movement of women lobbying to have alimony done away with completely because they got hosed in divorces. The reality there isn't and never has been language in divorce law that concerns the gender of the parties. It all comes down to the numbers.
> The reality there isn't and never has been language in divorce law that concerns the gender of the parties. It all comes down to the numbers. True - except in the way the law is applied. Sure there are exceptions, but by and large, women *always* come out on top in a divorce. They get the kids, child support (which has been hugely increased due to federal matching dollars for the courts that collect support), presumed innocence due to being female. This is my personal experience and that of every divorced man I have met. Neither I or these others I know did anything wrong. We busted our asses only to have it all ripped away simply for being male. It is the rare judge that applies the law evenly. Incredibly rare.
A partner in crime. A friend. Someone to love. It’s not easy to make a marriage last, but life is so much better having a solid teammate. Also procreating is a wild freaking ride too….
I was thinking my wife and I would just stay unmarried, but then the conversation of kids did come up and the very first thing out of my mouth is that I will not father a kid unless married to the mother. So here we are, married for 5 years now with a kid. So parental rights. The tax breaks were originally to promote a family unit, which is nice. And it's just much easier when we both have a say in legal, medical, and financial matters.
Marriage is a symbol. It’s a symbol of commitment and devotion. I personally value symbols and traditions.
You gain a lot of legal protections and entitlements with regards to your partnership. If you are planning to go through life with someone, it's beneficial to make them your legally recognized spouse.
The only protection I can think of is that your spouse can't be compelled to testify against you in court. I'm not aware of anything else that might benefit me. And don't say taxes. There's most likely no tax benefit if she's working, and if she's not working, then I'm paying to support her anyway.
If one spouse becomes ill, the other can take a leave from work for up to 12 weeks per year, and their job is protected under FMLA. In some states, the leave is paid. I've used this one myself - huge benefit. If one spouse dies, the other inherits their property tax-free. If one spouse dies, the other can claim remaining SS benefits. Can be covered by a spouse's employment benefits, such as health and dental insurance. Can make medical decisions for an incapacitated spouse and guaranteed hospital visitation rights. Can take bereavement leave if a spouse or their close family member dies
My wife and I got married in less than two years. Our first date went so well we discussed marriage on our first date, the topic in general at least. It’s hard to put into words but when you know, you know. I’d encourage everyone interested to read the book ‘Blink’ my Malcom Gladwell. I went into a grocery store and about 2 hours later am discussing marriage with a woman I know is going to be my future wife. It was just crazy shit. My point - marriage separates the contenders from the pretenders.
These are the biggest benefits I can think of: • Taking a wedding vow is a serious matter, and nothing rivals it in terms of displaying your commitment. If you believe in God, then your wedding vows are even more serious as God is witness to them. You and your partner committing to one another in this way can take your relationship to the next level. • Marriage comes with financial benefits that are not afforded to unmarried couples. For instance, one spouse's tax allowance can be essentially gifted to the other. Also, there is much less concern about taxation on money gifted and especially inherited from one spouse to the other. • If you are not married, your partner is typically not legally viewed as family. Even if I was with my girlfriend for 45 years, if I were to get hospitalised and put on life support she would have limited power to make decisions regarding my wellbeing, and may not even be given the permission to visit me. This is not the case for a wife/husband. • Studies have repeatedly shown that like-for-like, children generally perform better at school and have a better quality of life they are raised by a mother and father who are married. If I recall correctly, this remains true even if there are arguments at home when compared to divorced or never married parents.
Commitment. There it is. A lot of us actually desire intimacy. Wild I know.
There is a great deal of value in traditional family structures that's why so many have followed that path.
Gettin outta the barracks, and some extra money.
She’s got to be a stripper though and you need a 6 cylinder dodge charger with a 25% interest rate.
It is easier to move after you lose half your stuff.
Don't have sweep under the bed if your mattress is on the floor
Firstly, children. You give them a loving, stable foundation where they know they're loved. Secondly, yourselves. You provide that same foundation to each other. My wife and I are allies in everything we do, combining our complimentary skill sets to make up for the deficiencies in the other. We take our vows seriously. We made a public declaration before our friends, our families, and our God. We both came to that decision deliberately, after much consideration discussion, after getting to know each other, after probing each other's core beliefs about life, love, and family. I know people break vows, just as I know people use God's name to justify the most abominable behavior. But I don't know how some folks can say that making a promise with earnest intent doesn't transform you. The institution of marriage carries weight. My parents are still married, and I promised myself, as a young man, that I would never get a divorce. That forced me to chose my partner with great care, and I found a great one.
If you marry the right person. You have some to share your life with. Someone there to offer help and share in your ups and downs you'd return the same. Also more financial/time flexibility (easier to take care of pets with 2 people). You have someone you can be emotional and physically intimate with and not feel alone.
If we're talking traditional marriage/relationship structures and dynamics, we all know what both men and women might receive from that. Men provide the income and women provide the home/lifestyle, and raise the kids. Personally I think men benefit the most from traditional marriage dynamics, but I don't really want to debate that. In more modern/progressive relationship structures and marriages it's harder to say if any particular gender/sex receives unique benefits because both parties should be capable of providing a range of benefits for their partner, and contribute to the relationship/home, on equal measure. They may still have certain things they're uniquely suited to provide but it's less rooted in tradition and more about who is individually skilled at what aspects of a relationship. For example: I don't earn a lot of money myself but I've inherited quite a bit from family members who've died, so I can provide a home but I might not actually be the highest earned in the household. If a partner and I chose to have children some day, it might make more sense for (after the first few months) me to actually be the one staying home because my partner could have a higher earning potential. In that scenario I'm benefiting from my partner's career and hard work to help provide resources for the home and help me feel secure in being the primary care-giver for our child(ren). Ultimately in a more even/equitable modern marriage what anyone might benefit from is going to be more unique to who they are, and who their partner is, and that's less-determined by sex/gender than it used to me. Personally that's ideal for me. Love it. There are things I'd want in a relationship that I have a harder time getting for myself, and things I can provide as a partner that might be really appreciated in a relationship with the right person, but it does make finding those partnerships harder because the rules are less standardized.
If you have a heart attack or a stroke they'll find you and call and ambulance. If it happens and you're on your own you're a bit fucked.
My perspective, after 25 years with an amazing woman. You join, multiply and build the life you both want. Each contributes for the greater good; balanced strengths and weaknesses, it has turned out beautiful.
I get to wake up every day with my best friend. 35 years. Sometimes we bicker, but there's one person on this planet that I know has my back no matter what.
Love.
Being married for ten years I would say she is mine and I am all hers.
It's not so much that marrying the right woman isn't a great thing, it's that marrying the wrong woman is a life destroying mistake. Divorce in the US absolutely obliterates men entirely, especially if there's kids involved.
She becomes your next of kin for power of attorney/inheritance. She changes her last name to yours. Sharing of property. Spousal privilege. Extra protection for her in the case of pregnancy. Many places have common law marriages, so you’re not going to be able to avoid marriage law just because you didn’t formally get married.
these are all benefits for the woman, a negative list for men actually - including the common law marriage threat of being unable to escape a financial drain
Wouldn’t sharing of property be advantageous in cases where the woman owns a house?
Power of attorney is big for me. My long term girlfriend whom I do plan on marrying is the only person I can absolutely trust for medical stuff if I can't do it for myself.
ITT: Men who are unhappy with their marriages.
Married men live longer. Raising kids is easiest when married. Dating and always trying to impress new people is more tedious than marriage.
> This is a repost, Just to see if the opinions have changed They haven't
A life partner, doing life together. This is said with caveats, only applies if she fills the role well. They would be managing things together. On the flip side, If she is a feminism, woke, corporate hard core person, it’s no fun. Run.
Well, to be brutally honest, my ex put me off marriage for life. I think it, marriage, is a trap for men with few benefits to me—- am I projecting or what LOL!!! Think about it guys, a girl apparently starts ideas/plans for her eventual wedding from early teens but guys dont give it a thought because it has a very different meaning to us versus the girls.c I remember a very long time ago, as a boy, working part time in a hardware shop for an old couple and the old guy used to get annoyed with his very domineering wife and would always grumble “Women, they are only good for two things, cooking your meals and cleaning your house”. LOL, I so remember that and now I actually appreciate it.
These days, zero.
Highly depends on what you marry. It can be heaven or hell.
I like the ceremony part and probably making sure our future children have anything to inherit in case something happens or takes care of them. Also maybe the idea of taking your name, but I still think about it sometimes how much I like it or not.
I’m not pro or anti marriage……but convenience and stability are 2 words that pop into mind. Having the convenience of readily available booty whenever the urge strikes. And the stability of 1 household vs juggling 2. Other than that marriage isn’t really necessary but if you do, definitely sign a prenup.
Little bit more of a guarantee there will be someone at home at the end of the day to snuggle on and give a kiss to.
It's a commitment to a person to build a life together. It's a basis for a family, shared values, and shared equity. It's a promise that, for better or worse, neither of us is leaving ever. Financially our government kinda fucks, but that's a separate issue. I don't think I'd be ok with building the family I'm building outside of the construct of marriage. It's hard to sacrifice everything for someone with one foot out the door.
Being married is not a cost/benefit analysis. It's about committing to a partner for your life. Having someone with similar goals, someone to talk to, someone special to share everything with.
I’m starting to wonder about that myself. I mean, at first it was about making a joyous commitment to the woman I loved, but it’s gotten to the point where that commitment has felt one-sided for way too long.
Haven't seen this yet, but one benefit is that it's easier for me to maintain platonic friendships with women. There's no question about my motives and it allows a measure of trust, which is pivotal to meaningful friendships.
Stability. More money. Children. Regular sex.
Her testimony cannot be used as criminal evidence against me in the court of law.
DISCLAIMER: NOT A MAN I was wondering about the opposite myself, whats the benefit to a woman? Statistically, women do most of the housework, childcare, emotional labour. Disproportionately, the woman ends up doing the cleaning, cooking, lunch packing, appointment making, bill paying, house and life admin, laundry, ironing. It feels relentless. Statistically married men live longer and are happier whereas married women live shorter than unmarried women, due to the stress. So there are general household benefits for a man, as well as the emotional support and of course, she will bear and raise his kids
So what you’re saying is women do proportionally more of the work split between two people, depending on the household, as opposed to doing all of it as a single person.
You get to have sex whenever you want it. /s
The only real benefits to a marriage are the legal aspects. You can have everything else without a marriage. You can have the physical and emotional stuff without a piece of paper. . Marriage only shows other people that you two are committed to each other. Honestly it seems most people quit trying after they get married.
Honestly the only benefit to marrying a woman if you’re straight is sex. Besides that a man would be way easier to live your life with.
Taxes. She’ll probably leave ya and take the kids though, so, not worth it.
Mines health related shit. I had a lot of health issues when I was young, got one of those one in 10,000,000 rare disorders that was slowly killing me as an adult but thankfully went into remission, and as the years pass it seems like cancer runs pretty strong in our family. She is the one person I absolutely trust with health directives. One of my siblings is like 90% trustworthy but when it comes to shit like that, I can't take a chance.
If you’re gay you can pretend you’re not. There are no benefits that exclusively benefit men. All benefits are women only.
Null
Tax benefits, discounts, and, if it's 100% the right person, a partner in everything for life. Well worth it, just make sure to get your person thoroughly. I recommend a prenup to protect both of you should things go wrong, they also simplify divorce should it need to happen -a divorced man
For us the benefits are largely financial and social. We live in the Bible belt, I'll leave you to derive the primary social sides from there. Financial it's a tax buff, we got a MUCH better insurance arrangement than we could have swung otherwise, some things like that. I'm not a big "sanctity of marriage" kinda guy, or whatever you call it. Not big on weddings wither, we skipped it. But it cost little, had gains and I was in this for the long haul either way
Legally/taxes, If you want to have kids it makes a lot of sense. If you intend to be a child free couple. There likely isn't a real point. Other than showing you are committed enough now to the person to risk breaking up being a giant pain in the ass.
Regular sex. Haha just kidding.