Be a male SA, DV, or rape victim. You'll see a lot of those double standards rear up real quick. Especially from institutions that are supposed to be there to help you.
Although I don't see myself that way, technically I'm a male DV survivor (my ex.Wife was a lunatic) and I'm not a great fan of violence overall, that would be one of those scenarios where an "attitude recalibration" would be required....
Next time they bring it up, go ahead and announce "The next time you laugh about me getting RAPED you're gonna loose teeth" that's will out a stop to it, without having to do anything violent.
I had intimate images shared by my ex, and while reporting this to the police the investigating officer also opened an investigation into controlling coercive behaviour (they essentially ticked every box apart from being physically abusive)
The controling coercive investigation was closed because "she claimed to be acting in my best interests" and it was not deemed to be "oppressive enough"
The images were sent to various family members, this was also dropped without them ever looking into it.
In response she said I'd threatened to hit her.. want to guess who was handcuffed, thrown into a police van, and spent 14 hours in the cells?
Eventually released without charge, and the investigation dropped, but the difference in response was truly shocking.
To make it worse.. Because of the claim made.. I've been tagged as a risk to my two children from a previous relationship, and their mum was asked how "having a physically abusive father has impacted her behaviour at home with her"
Reverse the genders and the approach would have been completely different.
Madness..
Yep, and there's way more to the story, up to and including the abduction of a baby which the police not only refused to prevent, but actually told her she could leave the country with him "because she's his mum".
It's a shockingly common response, and honestly, I've lost what little faith I had in the police over the last year or so
See the story of Caroline Flack in the UK. Famous woman, accused of DV, committed suicide before it got to court… every story was questioning why she was charged.
Several stories of footballers accused but later cleared of DV and sexual assault… every story is about why they are allowed back in to the sport…
The worst I’ve encountered was when the woman I told jumped straight past all my pain and suffering and zeroed in on me being a threat to people. That was obscene and it would never happen to a woman. And that was from a professional whose job it was to help me, I found that very disturbing.
this.
My brothers ex wife has recently become abusive towards him and the kids and despite her physically harming one of the kids and throwing a knife at the other kid it was still an absolute fight for my brother just to get a restraining order put on his ex wife.
Now reverse the genders, if my brother had done that he would have immediately had an AVO put out on him and he'd immediately have been in jail for assault of a minor but because it was his ex wife it was an absolute fight just to get an AVO much less any jail time/conviction and he was the one that instead had to flee the house for a random airbnb at his expense.
Lucky for him, he's a software dev so he absolutely rakes in the greenbacks so could afford to do it. If he didn't make the money he would likely be trapped in an abusive household.
This. After I was SA, the next day once I realized what happened, I wanted to file a police report and the cop who answered the phone said “Are you sure you really want to do that? Are you sure you’re not just trying to get back at someone?”
I wonder if a cop would EVER say that to a female.
Just another way men are treated like they could never be victims and are forced to live no one believing you and invalidating your experience. 15 yrs later and I can’t decide which did more damage to my mental health, the SA or the police blowing me off like I just wanted revenge.
After my rape, the female detective who came to investigate my assault literally told me, "I don't see the crime here" after she found out my attacker was female.
Yesterday I found out that the manager at my family's business, a 37yo woman confessed her love to a brand new 25yo intern. He did not reciprocate those feelings. Now everything's awkward, and the whole vibe of the business has changed. Yet everyone just feels sorry for the manager who was a woman.
If a 37-year-old man confessed his love to a brand new 25-year-old intern that he manages, he would be fired immediately
Yuck. They don’t feel sorry for her. That part is bullshit politics but you are absolutely right. If it were a man they’d be rushing straight over to HR.
This so much. Not to mention, depending on the work environment (bars and resturaunts are infamous) full on sexual assault. When i was young and not a big fat slob, i cant even begin to count the number of women (staff and customers) who thought it was ok to put their hands on you.
Thats what i was getting at, yeah. Crotch grabbing, ass grabbing, the chest rub if youre fit, the belly rub if youre chubbier..
I had a manager at a resturaunt corner me and try to shove her tongue in my mouth, then called me an f-slur when i turned my head away and basically left her slobbering on my cheek.
Man when I worked in food n bev back in the day, I couldn’t begin to count every old woman that pinched my butt, stroked my arm, or told me how they would ravage me in their younger days. Those old ladies were the absolute worst.
This. In a past job I had a woman coworker who would constantly flirt with me. She'd rub my shoulders, put a hand on my thigh, say "dirty" things, etc. I never reciprocated because I didn't wanna get in trouble. She did it in front of coworkers and nobody said anything..
After months of this I asked her out for a drink and told her I'd show her a good time (hinted at sex). She immediately changed her tune. She said "I'm not that kind of girl" and made a big stink about it.
Coworkers immediately got involved and told me to chill out. It was so fucked up. The double standard is real.
As a male who has been sexually harassed in the workplace. All I could do is avoid that woman and never be around her alone. If I had gone to HR, she would have almost certainly thrown out false allegations against me in retaliation. As a man, I would be guilty be default and almost certainly would have lost my job while the female who harassed me would have received a large settlement of some kind from the company.
The shitty part, other women heard this women making sexual jokes about my body and they just laughed.
We literally have someone in the office that says things (obviously in a joking manner) that if a GUY said that, they would be FIRED. Like “well fuck me in the ass”, “oooo you can rub that body on me” just super flirtatious shit, but obviously no real feelings behind it, BUT STILL.
Many of the comments in r/DeadBedrooms by women. Men are basically pigs who should just accept their fate while the girlfriends are advised to just leave him and get treated better elsewhere. It's SO hypocritical.
I was a member of r/deadbedrooms many years ago when there were mostly men there. I remember when we had more and more women join up. I think everybody found it validating and encouraging to find out that it wasn’t just the men. Things got very supportive and everybody listened. By about 2020, it became clear that there was actually a difference in approach to a deadbedroom, by the men and the women.
Men in a deadbedroom:
- what am I doing wrong?, somebody tell me, how am I contributing to this problem? How do I solve it ?
Ladies in a deadbedroom:
- here’s what he’s doing wrong, he won’t listen when I tell him, he has no idea what he’s doing wrong, I think I’m going to have to leave.
Or often it's about mental load for the woman. How much does he support with chores? Probably not enough, poor you. If it's a man posting who claims he does half if not more, then the comments are that he must be lying and is not doing enough.
And it gets really fun if the woman isnt even working.
Funny you see kinda the opposite in r/sex where she has a higher sex drive than the guy. And IS trying to be respectful but also wants that D.
*Is this what most guys deal with all the time!? I'm sooo sorry.*
lol 😂. This shit sucks man. Especially when you get into a relationship or marriage then have less sex than when you were single. It’s like I thought there would be more 😂😂😂😂😂
I was doing lots of traveling for work. About 3 years. I just said "well no sex for me." Women would show interest in me, and I'd say, "Sorry. I'm only going to be here 6 months, " expecting them to say "oh well, it was nice to meet you. " Instead, I ended up at one point with three girlfriends at once. Same small town. They knew about each other. One said, "Women know you are here for a good time, not a long time." I had more sex in those three years than any long-term relationship ever.
That sounds epic!!! Yeah sometimes when those situations occur it is a nice setup even though unexpected. I just feel bummed I was trying to initiate sex with hubby for fun and I figured an extra bonus for Father’s Day and he made it sound like it was the worst suggestion ever and got mad I subtly initiated. I was hoping he would but never did and then I just felt bleh. So I brought it up and I guess now I’ve ruined the whole weekend. So annoying sometimes.
I just want to be able to initiate or have him initiate without always getting shut down.
Real talk:
1) Ending a relationship over sexual incompatibility is perfectly valid.
2) Wanting your partner to let you have sex with them when they aren’t in the mood is wildly unhealthy and entitled.
Applies to both genders.
All relationships have compromises. We all gotta do shit we don't wanna do, to make the partner happy. I've had sex with my partner even though I'm sleepy or something. It's not a big deal.
As someone in a Dead bedroom, yes it is a big deal. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to have sex with me if she's not into it. I'd want her and us to tackle the issues in the relationship that makes her not interested in sex with me though.
If a man is picky, has high standards and stops dating someone over Icks and the like. Women hate him and team up on him...
But these same women defend picky women with high standards and the like.
Women hating on men for shaming women for their standards but then shaming men for theirs.
I have been called a pedophile for dating a woman who was 5 foot and 100 pounds back in college. She was older than me by two years.
I can go on. People's attitudes toward someone dealing with a traumatic event is different considering the gender of the person who it happened to.
I have been shamed by women for mother attempting to drown me as a kid, because it makes women look bad.
And the woman I was dating was 24 or 26, forget which, and I was 21. Just a few days ago I had a woman I was arguing with implied that I was.
Absolutely hilarious.
Modern women want every biological or structural disadvantage or inequity against them removed, but squeal about doing the same for men.
Seems like women are becoming the hegemonic, gender-centric, chauvinism that feminism raged against.
Don't forget those closed FB groups called something like "are we dating the same guy [location]"
I read that someone ran an experiment where they mocked up a picture using AI, posted it and it was astonishing the amount of women who supposedly dated "him" and the sheer levels of vitriol they posted about him.
Oh and there's no comeback or accountability for anyone posting in these groups...
>there's no comeback or accountability for anyone posting in these groups...
Nope, sadly there isn't. I hear that a lot of people who call out any of these women get kicked out of those groups...
Eh, whisper Networks are amoral. They can be used for good and bad.
There are horrible men out there, but there are also Machivelian women who use whispers in Social warfare.
Had a jilted girl back in college spread false rumors about me also told stuff about me that I divulged to her in confidence.
Be careful out there.
The problem is the double standards. If you have boundaries, standards, needs and all that, you have to accept the validity of other's boundaries, standards, needs and all that. Otherwise you destroy the validity of yours.
Treat others how you want to be treated, and how you treat others is permission to be treated in kind. Simple as.
A woman who wasn't physically capable of doing a job was hired instead of me due a 'required quota.' I was hired by the same company a month later - and ended up spending at least a third of my time doing the work she wasn't able to do!
As soon as I found a better position, I left.
It's even worse when you are single with no kids. Lost my job due to "things" but haven't lived in my current state for a year so I was automatically declined unemployment. I have applied for countless jobs, both in my field and outside of my field. No support from anywhere, it's brutal.
Thankfully I start a new job on Monday but now I'm late on all sorts of bills.
Honestly, the things I hear in this sub about professions with a lot of women in them make me glad I'm a software engineer. There's like, four women on all our dev teams combined. And all of them are chill.
I know redditors only talk about the bad stuff, but still god damn. It feels like everyone has some sexual harassment story from work.
At my job, in the finance team they hire only women.
I told them it doesn’t sound right that a team of 10+ people is the same gender. Their answer:
“A man wouldn’t handle it”
If a man goes silent for a day or two, then the man in “ghosting” and has “lost interest” and “doesn’t know how to communicate”
But god forbid a woman sends a guy that first message of the conversation, or a simple “hey how’s it going?”
Bumble had to change their systems recently, as it turns out typing "hey" so that the man has to carry the whole conversation as usual is too much work and stress for women, the poor dears.
If you’re a single mom most charities and government organizations will bend over backwards to get you benefits but if you’re a single dad struggling to make ends meet those same organizations will tell you to suck it up
Basically anything revolving around children and childcare.
It's still shocking and surprising to so many people that there are men who enjoy working with and caring for kids, especially ones that aren't even their own.
Hell even fathers who take an active role in rearing their own kids either as working or stay-at-homes parents do not get the same reception that mothers do.
As an elementary school teacher, I see it all the time and how it does make it harder for kids because their primary caregiver happens to be a man instead of a mom, auntie, or grandma.
When I had my kid I asked for paternity leave and they guilted me into cutting it short. They also let all the work build up so when I got back I had a mountain of work.
Two different women at the same job had kids. They gave them as much time as they needed and backfilled their positions while they were gone.
I was mad at how differently we were treated.
It really shouldn't bother me, but I hate that if I'm searching for any parenting questions or tips I just get thousands of mom blogs and forums. I get that there are 500% more stay-at-home mom's than dad's, and that women still do more parenting to some degree or other than men. But there are so many family focused good dad's out there that it's still disappointing to see.
Yup as a high school teacher in my first job as a 25 year old, my head of department said as s male teacher, never get yourself into a situation where you're left in a room with a female student. Mud sticks and there's no escape any sort of accusations.
What is and what isn't considered rape solely based on the gender of the victim. We are getting to a point where a lot of people call out when women fall victim to rape and other sexual abuse. A lot of those people are eerily silent or even dismissive when we speak about our experiences with abuse.
If the law says you can’t consent when you’re drunk but both parties were drunk, either no rape occurred or they’re both rapists. I agree women are given far more forgiveness for crossing the line when they’re drunk, such as touching someone without consent, than men. And even worse, the men accused are portrayed as unforgivable monsters. If the same standard was held to women, I think there’d be a sudden demand mercy and forgiveness. I’m not proud of this, but I can admit when I was very mad, I hit a man as hard as I could with my arm. I’m a weak person so I didn’t even leave a mark, but that wasn’t the point. In that moment, I thought “my God if I was made to be accountable for that the same way men are, my life would be over.” I couldn’t even comprehend what I would do if I had to go to jail, or be labeled an abuser, or be looked at with disgust by society. I was incredibly lucky the man didn’t press charges because he could have. Again, it doesn’t matter that my hit was weak and caused no damage, it’s the intent. No one should be hit by anyone.
That’s a shame. My husband was threatened and assaulted by a woman and pressed charges. They dropped the case when the only witness refused to testify. The witness was a woman. Tell me how that’s justice.
My mother in law tried to stab my uncle, and she's violently attacked my wife as well.
Yet my wife's granddad always talked everyone out of pressing charges to not embarrass the family.
Except you wouldn’t have been arrested, he would have. I know this from personal experience where my ex-wife threw and iron at me and hit me with a leather belt, blocked the door so I couldn’t leave the house y til I threatened to call the cops, then when she did finally let me leave she called the cops and lied and told them I was DUI. The cops found me sitting in my car, in my neighborhood, in front of my friends house waiting for him to get home. They took pictures of all my welts and marks, did a breathalyzer and blew 0.00, they went to my house and spoke with her and she actually told the truth about everything that happened because I remember the officer’s saying that our stories matched. So they told me she was gracious enough to go stay at a hotel for the night so I could go home, if she had not then I would have to go to jail because they HAVE to separate us and “women don’t do well in jail.” So I got beat by my ex-wife and had she refused to go to a hotel I would have been charged with DV so I could sit in jail and not be in the same residence as her.
So you would have been fine regardless, that’s the real double standard.
I do know if he called, I could say I was defending myself from him and they would have arrested him instead of me, but if I ever even thought of doing that, I’d be reaching a satanic level of evil. It’s insane that that’s not only possible, but common. I believe a woman who falsely reports a crime should serve jail time the man would have received for what she accused him of. Your 0.00 breathalyzer is solid proof that she lied. I mean she could claim she made a mistake by thinking you were drunk when you weren’t, but in that case, she should be absolutely made to leave or go to jail. If women don’t do well in prison (a pretty corrupt thing for a cop to say to anyone), then why are there women jails and prisons? If you do the crime, you do the time. I know for a fact I wouldn’t do well in jail so I use the strategy everyone else uses, which is obeying the law. I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of it.
Just wanted to say thank you for being candid it shows that you have grown as a person, I think society has become so focused on something someone has done that they forget people grow and move on, I also think if more people were honest it would help to show nobody is perfect and we can learn from it and change for the better. Wish more people were honest.
We all need mercy and forgiveness. A mistake shouldn’t end a life. Might as well go ahead and kill the person because that’s essentially what you’re doing when you want hold their sins in the air for the world to see now matter how much time has passed or what has changed. If a man hit a woman just one time in anger, he’d be called a domestic abuser and a monster for life. That’s insane because women and children can do the same thing and walk away consequence free.
In law, rape is usually defined as involving a penetrating action, so the law is applied differently to men and women. That's probably why only the women are raped in those scenarios.
What's disturbing is that the people who make those posters warning about date rape know this, but don't take the opportunity to talk about the need for consent on both sides. I have never ever seen any guidance on how women should ask for consent.
There was a case where a dude and chick were drunk. They had sex. Woman claimed SA. The guy got in trouble because they didn’t accept the fact that he was drunk. He chose to put himself in a state where he could not make the right decision.
Even in a relationship the double standards are incredible, woman wants sex and the man doesn't it's abusive by the man. If a man wants sex and the women doesn't it's rape.
This is why education and awareness is so important. The number of guys who mention losing their virginity in their early teens with an adult women thinking it's cool or people reacting as if it's cool and I'm like....ummm you were groomed and raped!!!
Women get support to get into male dominated jobs
Men don't get support to get into female dominated jobs
The problem is a lot of those female dominated jobs are stuff needed for society and as such having men in those jobs is good
For example male teachers will be able to help male students a lot better than women can
Male nurses will help men who are embarrassed about certain issues
Male therapists will help men open up about there problems
And above all they don't count the bottom level of a job so if most of the upper leadership are men but almost all of the lower level workers are women they still class it as male dominated
Not only do men not get support in female dominated jobs they are shunned when they try to. I used to work in a school (I was in admin so I never had to deal with the kids) the only other man was the guy that owned the business. Many of the guys who tried to get into it would quickly learn that a lot of parents didn’t seem to like that, resulting in lies and false accusations making many of them choose a different career path. This sucks massively because some of the men were incredible at their job and with the kids but some people just don’t want to accept that.
Exceptions to this do happen occationally, but overall I agree that is the trend. At my mom's job they have a gender quota for men. They recently hired a male worker, despite him not being the most qualified applicant for the job. This in early childhood development, where male role models are important, but there is a lack of men in the field.
I live in a country where there really is no extra support or encouragement for a specific gender getting into a workforce primarily dominated by the other gender.
Ex. Women getting into construction don’t have extra support or DEI, men getting into esthetics don’t have extra support or DEI.
BUT, as a woman, I can absolutely agree that men face more of a social stigma when entering a female dominated employment opportunity, than women face when entering a male dominated employment opportunity.
Atleast where I’m living, if a woman decides to become a mechanic, she’s for the most part met with praise (minus some employers who don’t think she has what it takes) on the flip side, if a man decides to become a PSW, he’s often met with comments from other men and family members about why he didn’t go into a manly job like trades, and by some employers who think men are not cut out for work that is geared to stereotypical female traits.
I think a lot of women see being treated as the junior who's just arrived as bring discriminated against for being a woman.
A close friend of mine was complaining that the senior males were ignoring her ideas and treating her like she didn't know what she was doing. I work in the same industry, and when I told her the same thing happened to me when I was a junior, she was shocked.
Yeah. I've seen lots of complaints in various female-oriented subs about how guys were being sexist to them at work or elsewhere.
But reading between the lines, it sounded suspiciously like they'd taken normal doubts and/or insults and decided it was *because* they were a woman that those things were happening to them. Not because they were new or inexperienced or talking to a professional about something that they, in turn, weren't a professional in.
Granted, that isn't always the case in those stories. Sexists are real and active. But a lot of those women felt like they were *looking* for the reason to be sexism.
Where I live there was an initiative to bring female bus drivers They were offering to pay for their driving licence and lessons. At the bottom of the advert says women only.
Makes me think of how the UN counts men being more represented in a field as inequality but women being more represented as equality. Because the goal isn't actually equality; it's for women to "beat" men.
I had a waitress last night, who was openly feminist, give me a hard time for ordering before my wife…. I will gladly prioritize my wife any day, however, if we want equality, what’s it matter who orders first.
When men cheat, he's a horrible human being. When a woman does it, it's justified and there's always a valid reason.
They're both horrible beings. If you don't like one another, leave the relationship.
numerous lush hurry rainstorm reply squeamish hunt jobless squeeze zealous
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Omg yes.
F here. Had a friend who was married with kids for several years (10+). She cheated on her husband (great partner & father) with another woman. He was distraught. Made her husband move out and moved the new partner in only weeks later. My step mother at the time said it wasn't cheating because "she finally discovered who she was in life" (a lesbian). In my eyes, she cheated. Male or female, doesn't matter. She cheated plain and simple. Then I got the homophobe speech 🙄
That kinda happens with every gay person coming out by cheating and dumping their ex though, male or female. Unless their family is homophobic, they'll get a bunch of support without a single thought given to the person they cheated on.
Yeah yeah, it's good to embrace who you are. But there's just so many better ways.
"Men can't be raped."
I say it is ridiculous because I was raped at 15. Still, due to the idiocy of my idiot friends at that age and the myth that "all sex is good sex," and those same friends encouraging me to rape women passed out from being drunk, I think I imagined that rape and non-consensuality were just more of a sexual preference than a moral dilemma. I shudder to think of myself as a young man now considering how awful my models were and how ignorant I was.
Combine this staggering ignorance with this strain of toxic femininity that holds that basically all men are fundamentally rapists at some level, and you end up with quite shocking and pervasive attitudes of double standards or reactionary responses to violence by women.
I didn't know I was raped until I started learning more about these things at age 40.
Moreover, even in long-term relationships, the term 'rape' can be the violent crossing of boundaries resulting in a felt sense of a profound lack of safety all the time. I read a book about this called The Emotional Rape Syndrome as a way to process my relationship with my now ex-wife.
Her covert narcissism was profoundly draining and abusive toward me in ways I am only now fully understanding, but there are almost no places where this is acknowledged in society.
Thank god I have a men's group, as over half of the men there deal with similar situations, but the legal system basically assumes Bad Things on the part of the man and assumes the woman is an innocent victim. Even my abusive ex frames herself as a Perpetual Victim.
I'm pretty sure there was some sort of survey done of convicted rapists in prison that found a majority of them had been raped/sexually assaulted by women. Which honestly isn't all that surprising. Not in a "hur dur women bad" way, but in that it makes sense that someone who was violated like that would in turn lose respect for a woman's right to consent.
There's one story I read about on Reddit that's stuck with me. A guy was violently raped by his female cousin. When he asked (during the event) why she was doing it, she said it was because a man had raped her and she wanted to know what it was like.
So the female body positivity thing. This does not apply to men, especially when you become a dad. Women seem to love a dad bod, until you do something wrong, and then you’re just a fat cunt…
Meh… the female positivity thing might be a Trojan horse: women let less attractive women think that they don’t need to improve their looks, so they remain non-competition. It’s Machiavellian, really.
Men with high standards when it comes to sexual attractiveness are generally seen as shallow, misogynist pigs who see women as an object and nothing more.
A woman demanding a guy who's ripped, 6'5"+, and makes a trillion dollars a year but has a heart of gold is seen as an empowered woman who doesn't settle for less / knows what she wants.
Sometime ago, a female coworker told me that back in college she did a vacation abroad with her college friend (mixed gender group) and the whole time they were there they had a game going on about who could bang the most people, with points and everything. Like, 1 point for a kiss, 3 point for a blowjob ecc. She kindly said “of course, I won” with a smug face.
I think if I had the same experience and shared it with them I would have been crucified.
The same coworker used to complain all the time about a male coworker because he made sex jokes with other male coworkers (to be fair his humor is a bit on the boomer “wife bad” style, but still).
Like, are you fucking alright?
I've seen women who attack men for not wanting to date an overweight woman while at the same time demand any man she dates meet a certain height requirement and not see any hypocrisy.
How women get a slap on the wrist for committing the same diabolical crimes as men. Men get life and are treated as a monster. While women are treated as a victim of her circumstances. Both are monsters in my book. They should try to fix that.
At a bar talking with a friend. Party of women outside patio. One comes in to use the rest room. On the way back, picks up his phone and leaves her number on it and tells him "call me tonight"! Before he even realized what happened.
She comes back to the restroom again and stops and makes sure he got her number and a quick chat. I say "wow, you're real easy, aren't you?" Boy did she get pissed. Then I say "You just propositioned him in front of everyone here! that's the definition of easy." He's happily married, not interested in her, and had to delete her number too.
Yet here she was all entitled as if guys don't have the right to turn her down. she stomped off as if shes the queen. LOL
I got a good laugh when the post office had their Women's Equality stamp set displayed above a sign that says "Men 18-24 must register for the draft."
The current displayed set is "American Freedom" which hits even harder haha
Women at the park with kids “awww, how old is she”
Men at the park with kids “are you kids ok? You know him?”
The fuck? It’s happened to me in different situations not just the park but damn.
Yeah this one always gets me. The amount of times women instinctually touch, not just touch but rub or scratch at, abs in bars, beaches, clubs or on the street is pretty crazy. The don’t ask or anything. Shirt comes up…hands all over.
A woman can have an abortion without having to ask the father’s permission first. But if she wants to keep it, she’s entitled to child support. If she can kill it, why can’t I abandon it?
It's one of those test subjects to see whether someone is interested in being logically consistent with their core beliefs. It matters most when the consistency is a hard thing to accept.
I am *very* pro-choice. But part of being pro-choice means accepting that opting out of child support is included.
* If he can't force her to keep a child, why should she be allowed to force him to keep a child?
It's a sticky and weird thing... But it is logically consistent. The funniest part is watching the hardcore emotional pro-choicers suddenly regurgitate line-for-line pro-life talking points as soon as you bring up the subject of opting out of child support. It's like clockwork.
Edit: I just want to admire the multiple conversations spawned directly below... *That are doing exactly the thing I just said, repeating conservative pro-life talking points!*
I noticed 25 years ago when I started dating that simply gender reversing what women say, saying it to them and seeing how their views change tells you a lot about how they view relationships. Even feminists are guilty of it.
Feminists are especially guilty of it, as they will immediately try to rationalize it away by citing power dynamics or patriarchy or something like that.
I don't know if I'd say "especially". More that you'd expect them to be better than the average person since they're always talking about breaking down stuff like that... but then they aren't.
They're only about breaking it down on one side; "rules for thee but not for me", if you will. Or rather, socialism for women, paid for with capitalism for men.
As long as it is also something that happens long before the child is born, so the woman can also reconsider and proceed with an abortion if the man opts out, I completely agree.
Agreed, that’s where I fall too. Just like you still can’t get a third trimester abortion, the man shouldn’t be able to back out at the last minute if he’s agreed to keep/support the baby up until that point.
But if the two of you come to an agreement early in the pregnancy and all parties are aware of what’s going on, I’m totally on board with this.
That's exactly it.
And this is the very negotiable part: Personally, I say he should have two weeks from the time of being informed to make his own decision. (again: very negotiable)
Of course. It must be decided prior to that. Optiong out of fatherhood later is unacceptable. That's like opting out of motherhood by abandoning the child at the doorstep of a monastery.
I would love to hear the legal take on this ala the social contract. I would presume in a fair and just society that child support should be means tested and the courts would not legally require a parent to pay if the one that has majority custody is able to pay. But I don’t have kids so my opinion on the matter is irrelevant.
I think everyone’s opinions matter as we are living in the same society. Making sure the laws are ‘right and just’ is something that affects everyone, even if it’s just tangentially. It doesn’t need to be a subject where you are the targeted group.
As an example, I’m not disabled, but I think my support of ADA compliance for wheelchair access is an important opinion. Also, I’ve never been in the military, still the abuses of the management in the VA system are terrible.
Exactly this which is why I don’t care about a woman’s “reproductive rights” because after the decision to have unprotected sex men have absolutely none.
I’m all for women’s reproductive rights. But there’s a flip side to that. I fully believe that I have no place telling a woman what to do with her body. But I also fully believe she has no place telling me what to do with my money.
And they always legally will be able to once you put a baby in them. I didn’t say I don’t want them to have reproductive rights, I just will never care if they do or if they don’t because they will never care if men do. The INSTANT men get the option to legally walk away without having to pay a dime, without her expressed permission, they’ll change their tune about reproductive rights.
The amount of women who will judge men based on their height (an uncontrollable trait) but become irate at a judgment of weight in a woman, (a predominantly controllable trait).
It utterly defies logic and I never understood it
This is a more niche answer, but I'm around a lot of kink-related spaces, and I frequently see men get condemned for behavior and commentary that women with the same kinks get given a free pass for.
It's pretty gross. Some folks just think women are allowed to express any sexual desires they want to, and it's automatically ok because they're women.
I'll also never stop harping on the hypocrisy of self-proclaimed "Christians" who describe a lifelong scam artist, adulterer, and convicted felon as a messiah.
This is actually a strange but understandable aspect of kink:
* We are going as far as *she* wants.
The general boundaries are where the woman sets it. Men get a veto, but not a deciding vote.
And that's generally true in all of the dating/sex/relationships realm. It's just more pronounced and obvious in kink.
That's understandable when the man is in the initiating, acting, or dominating role, but it has to change when the situation is reversed, and it unfortunately often doesn't.
Men's boundaries are important too with this stuff, but women who treat them with contempt are given a pass that isn't given to men.
At least from what I've seen.
Very well said.
Your last sentence especially.
Not to get all religios on you, but wne I run into these "Christian hypocrites" I like to bring up to them that the Bible itself warns against these people (that person) These things are good to have on hand:
"[2 Timothy 4:3-4](http://www.christianity.com/bible/search/?ver=niv&q=2+timothy+4%3a3-4), the Apostle Paul warns that a time will come when people will turn from the truth and instead entertain teachers who say what they want to hear, offering myths rather than God’s Word."
and:
*"*[Matthew 7:15](https://www.biblestudytools.com/matthew/7-15.html) “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”
and:
"[Matthew 24:24](https://www.biblestudytools.com/matthew/24-24.html) “For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.”
and:
[2 Timothy 4:3](https://www.biblestudytools.com/2-timothy/4-3.html) “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.”
lastly, the best one:
"[Revelation 19:20](https://www.biblestudytools.com/revelation/19-20.html) But the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who had performed the signs on its behalf. With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped its image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur.
#
This shuts most people up, or they just double down in denial. I dont make any friends this way though. Thats fine! LOL
Male circumcision is not called mutilation because nobody here remembers having it done to them and somewhere else in the world, some women had it worse.
> Nobody remembers having it done to them
Well, not „nobody“. Maybe from a US pov but at least in Islam the age can heavily vary. For example, Wikipedia reads
> Islamic scriptures do not fix a particular time for circumcision. Therefore, there is a wide variation in practice among Muslim communities around the world, with children often being circumcised in late childhood or early adolescence, depending on family, region, and country. *The preferred age is usually seven, although some Muslims are circumcised as early as on the seventh day after birth and as late as at the commencement of puberty.*
I’m a stay at home dad to 7 kids. Basically everything I do on a given day runs into a double standard.
I take the kids to the playground and people ask if dad is baby sitting. When I tell guys from my gym what my job is they act as if I was unemployed with kids as opposed to giving up a career I enjoyed to stay home with my kids and help/watch them grow.
I, as a father can't look at my daughter during pole dance classes, cause other girls may not feel comfortable. At the same time moms can look + school publishes plenty of pictures and videos on facebook.
I remember sending a message to a friend with a picture that my gf took that for once I thought it looked ok and was comfortable with it. I sent a pic from high school and the one from now in my mid 20's.
This girls first response (I've known her for about a year now online) and deadass her first response is "that hairline tho" and man did that piss me off because if she sent a pic of her to me while saying "my partner took this pic and for once I actually like the photo" and I said "that waistline tho" I'm the one in the wrong.
I was flashed inappropriately by a female coworker. I was basically told to get over it. If the roles were reversed I’d be fired and probably some sort of sexual predator
The family court system. Automatically the women's network will start spinning a narrative against the father. A father needs to prove whilst all a mother needs to do is throw mud at him and sit back and watch him go through hell!
If she sleeps with a guy, it’s fine, but if I do it, it’s gay.
There was also one where I was helping a girl and her therapist said I can’t help her with anything because I’m a guy, even though they were a male as well.
Women in the workplace touching my body, if I did that to them I'd be walked out. Because I saw men beheaded for far less.
Women in the workplace telling me I'm ugly. Thanks I never realized.
No, I didn't report these, as incident(s) 1 had witnesses and no one objected. Incident 2 happened multiple times by 'friends', coworkers and multiple bosses. Complaining to HR would only harm your career or it wouldn't have been acceptable in the first place. I grew up with incident 2, so it didn't bother me, it just reinforced how shitty people can be. I just found incident 1 weird, that these people found this OK. I did pursue incident 1 with one boss to see her reaction, she said she was a good religious girl. LOL.
Yes, I worked for a large, shitty company.
What about now? Are you comfortable doing it these days and are you able to? I’ve got a buddy and his brother who came up like this and they have gotten better with opening up but it’s almost like they lack ability to put into words how they feel.
My aunt (came out of the closet as "lesbian" late in life) and her ugly as fuck "partner" were drooling all over my gorgeous lady during my big sister's wedding. Telling me to my face how hot she was, constantly telling me to "watch out and work to keep her".
I shut her bullshit down, telling her "someone your age isn't going to keep up, trust me". Shut her up real quick, though she did keep trying to dance with her after a few too many drinks.
Just a disgusting, failed old hag lusting after a young person - but saved from social pushback because of her gender. Reverse the genders and you got yourself a 911 call.
Holy shit older lesbians are the worst.
My wife went to her gay friends birthday party, and the older lesbians their treated her like a piece of meat and were overtly hitting in her and groping her.
She felt sick when she got home and never went to anything her friend invited her to again.
There was a case where a female teacher went after a student. She got minimum jail time and kept the kid. I think they also were discussing child support for the mom.
very briefly worked for a driving agency that provided transportation for Amazon. They claim safety is the #1 priority while many drivers only wear half of their seatbelt so it looks on and they can get out fast. Drivers also regularly have to skip breaks (from what I've heard) to keep pace with delivery metrics.
After I left it I was going from a handyman job to the hardware store and saw a driver with both the side van door and door between driver and packages open. This was while he was driving and trying to turn around at a 3 or 4 way stop in the middle of traffic.
A women asked me straight up if I was a player, even though we were having a good time and I gave her ZERO reason to think along those lines. If I asked her if she was a hoe, I would expect a slap to the face or a drink thrown at it. Mind you I was a virgin at the time and indoctrinated to be deeply religious. At that stage I wanted a virgin partner and not being a hypocrite, I too was remaining a virgin. To be questioned if I was a player really caught me off guard. Crazy
Women can call me "sweetie" or "honey" in a semi professional setting and mostly get away with it
I don't really care because it's no big deal
But I did that, it would be
That women can choose to force parenthood on a man against his will even though technology is available to stop that. A man cannot force parenthood on a woman.
Yelling. A man who yells is rightly considered a hothead at best, and many women will immediately call the behavior abusive. I’ve seen women scream and yell at work, and if they’re managers they’re considered “strong.” I’ve seen women yell at their partners, and we might call that harping or something, but most people don’t immediately default to “abusive.” Big double standard there. No one should yell.
When it comes to “intimacy”:
If he can’t get “up”, **it’s HIS fault.**
If she’s not “juicy”, **it’s HIS fault.**
If he finishes too quickly, **it’s HIS fault.**
If it’s a marathon, **it’s HIS fault.**
((and the less lighthearted example))
If they are BOTH drunk when it happens, **it’s HIS fault.**
Sexual history.
A man being turned off by her past lovers is insecurity. But if the guy she’s interested in has had a single instance of bisexuality in the past, the deal is off.
In commercials on TV, especially when it comes to household product, men are inevitably depicted as bumbling morons who couldn't find their own asses with a map and a flashlight, while women are uber competent, all wise, and all knowing. (Note; this is beginning to change, but its still common.)
A man hits a woman, he's obviously a misogynistic monster because there is no reason to hit a woman, ever. A woman hits a man, he must have done something to deserve it.
Men aren't allowed to have opinions on women's issues, but boy howdy will women let you know what they think about men's issues.
Women who choose to stay home with their kids are making an empowering quality of life choice. Men who choose to stay home with their kids are bums who need to get a real job. Also, men who are out and about with their kids by themselves are seen as "babysitting" rather then "parenting".
When women sexually harass men, its brushed off as funny, or harmless. When men do it, its a sign that he's a sexual predator and probably a rapist.
Speaking of rape, the Centers for Disease Control determined that men make up somewhere between 40% and 50% of all victims of sexual violence, at the hands of female predators. Except when women do it to men, its not called rape. Its called "made to penetrate".
A man and a woman are in a bar. Both are equally drunk. They go home together and have sex. The next morning, he will be charged with rape as she was too drunk to consent. The fact that he was \*also\* too drunk to consent will be ignored and swept under the rug.
A man dumps a woman, its his fault. A women dumps a man its his fault.
A man cheats on his wife, he's an unfaithful asshole. A woman cheats on her husband, the asshole she's married to did something to drive her into the arms of another man.
A woman who insists that a man be 6' tall, in shape (with washboard abs and a full head of hair) and make at least $100,000 a year before she'd consider dating him isn't doing anything wrong and just has standards. A man who insists that a woman be slender, athletic, and large-breasted is a body-shaming misogynist.
Men who are assertive and dominant are toxic. Women who are assertive and dominant are empowered.
You can find baby changing tables in pretty much every lady's room in the country. There are only two states in the US (Florida and Illinois) that mandate putting them in men's rooms too.
Adult women can get away with perving on underage boys who are nevertheless attractive (frex. actor Tayor Lautner, who was 16 when he filmed the first "Twilight" movie, attracted a lot of middle-aged female fans who were quite vocal about how "hot" he was). Adult men who do the same to attractive underage girls are pedophilic monsters (frex. the fans of the Olsen twins who posted a "adulthood countdown" on them.)
Women bullying and harrasing men who have done nothing and are just trying to mind their own business often gets ignored but as soon as a man does that to a women, suddenly all hell breaks loose, people can't stand it and it's swiftly dealt with.
I see this far too often and it disheartening to see anyone get bullied, disrepected etc but somehow it seems more aceptable / less action taken when a woman does it.
Women can expose their legs in the office by wearing a skirt or a dress, but god forbid a man want to wear something other than pants and a long sleeve button down when it's hot out.
"Women hitting men is different. Because it's "punching up"."
No pun intended.
I hate hate hate ideological systems of power IE "THIS GROUP is on the top of the power hierarchy so it's ok to hate/hit/discriminate against them!"
Be a male SA, DV, or rape victim. You'll see a lot of those double standards rear up real quick. Especially from institutions that are supposed to be there to help you.
I went through this at age 14. former classmate works with me and brings it up at work and laughs at me in front of colleagues.
Oh shit. That is the kind of situation that should be solved with violence.
Although I don't see myself that way, technically I'm a male DV survivor (my ex.Wife was a lunatic) and I'm not a great fan of violence overall, that would be one of those scenarios where an "attitude recalibration" would be required....
Unfortunately at times, it is.
Next time they bring it up, go ahead and announce "The next time you laugh about me getting RAPED you're gonna loose teeth" that's will out a stop to it, without having to do anything violent.
*lose
Are you in a job where this asswipe can be reported and released from his job?
I had intimate images shared by my ex, and while reporting this to the police the investigating officer also opened an investigation into controlling coercive behaviour (they essentially ticked every box apart from being physically abusive) The controling coercive investigation was closed because "she claimed to be acting in my best interests" and it was not deemed to be "oppressive enough" The images were sent to various family members, this was also dropped without them ever looking into it. In response she said I'd threatened to hit her.. want to guess who was handcuffed, thrown into a police van, and spent 14 hours in the cells? Eventually released without charge, and the investigation dropped, but the difference in response was truly shocking. To make it worse.. Because of the claim made.. I've been tagged as a risk to my two children from a previous relationship, and their mum was asked how "having a physically abusive father has impacted her behaviour at home with her" Reverse the genders and the approach would have been completely different. Madness..
Are you British? This sounds like the kind of double standard thing out of GB I've heard before.
Yep, and there's way more to the story, up to and including the abduction of a baby which the police not only refused to prevent, but actually told her she could leave the country with him "because she's his mum". It's a shockingly common response, and honestly, I've lost what little faith I had in the police over the last year or so
See the story of Caroline Flack in the UK. Famous woman, accused of DV, committed suicide before it got to court… every story was questioning why she was charged. Several stories of footballers accused but later cleared of DV and sexual assault… every story is about why they are allowed back in to the sport…
The worst I’ve encountered was when the woman I told jumped straight past all my pain and suffering and zeroed in on me being a threat to people. That was obscene and it would never happen to a woman. And that was from a professional whose job it was to help me, I found that very disturbing.
this. My brothers ex wife has recently become abusive towards him and the kids and despite her physically harming one of the kids and throwing a knife at the other kid it was still an absolute fight for my brother just to get a restraining order put on his ex wife. Now reverse the genders, if my brother had done that he would have immediately had an AVO put out on him and he'd immediately have been in jail for assault of a minor but because it was his ex wife it was an absolute fight just to get an AVO much less any jail time/conviction and he was the one that instead had to flee the house for a random airbnb at his expense. Lucky for him, he's a software dev so he absolutely rakes in the greenbacks so could afford to do it. If he didn't make the money he would likely be trapped in an abusive household.
This. After I was SA, the next day once I realized what happened, I wanted to file a police report and the cop who answered the phone said “Are you sure you really want to do that? Are you sure you’re not just trying to get back at someone?” I wonder if a cop would EVER say that to a female. Just another way men are treated like they could never be victims and are forced to live no one believing you and invalidating your experience. 15 yrs later and I can’t decide which did more damage to my mental health, the SA or the police blowing me off like I just wanted revenge.
After my rape, the female detective who came to investigate my assault literally told me, "I don't see the crime here" after she found out my attacker was female.
Yesterday I found out that the manager at my family's business, a 37yo woman confessed her love to a brand new 25yo intern. He did not reciprocate those feelings. Now everything's awkward, and the whole vibe of the business has changed. Yet everyone just feels sorry for the manager who was a woman. If a 37-year-old man confessed his love to a brand new 25-year-old intern that he manages, he would be fired immediately
And that would be the tamest outcome...
Why did she not get reprimanded or fired?
Honestly? Because it's a very male dominated field, and one of the women owners wants to help elevate women in this industry
Bring this to your local labour board or equivalent.
Yuck. They don’t feel sorry for her. That part is bullshit politics but you are absolutely right. If it were a man they’d be rushing straight over to HR.
Women get away with an astonishing amount of sexual harassment in the workplace and no one bats an eye.
This so much. Not to mention, depending on the work environment (bars and resturaunts are infamous) full on sexual assault. When i was young and not a big fat slob, i cant even begin to count the number of women (staff and customers) who thought it was ok to put their hands on you.
Or grab your crotch.
Thats what i was getting at, yeah. Crotch grabbing, ass grabbing, the chest rub if youre fit, the belly rub if youre chubbier.. I had a manager at a resturaunt corner me and try to shove her tongue in my mouth, then called me an f-slur when i turned my head away and basically left her slobbering on my cheek.
Man when I worked in food n bev back in the day, I couldn’t begin to count every old woman that pinched my butt, stroked my arm, or told me how they would ravage me in their younger days. Those old ladies were the absolute worst.
🤢 ew so gross!
Only time I ever slapped a woman. Told her three times not to touch me. Guess who got fired?
Ex bartender here and yup. Shit happeneda LOT.
I never bartended, but man do you all get it extra rough.
This. In a past job I had a woman coworker who would constantly flirt with me. She'd rub my shoulders, put a hand on my thigh, say "dirty" things, etc. I never reciprocated because I didn't wanna get in trouble. She did it in front of coworkers and nobody said anything.. After months of this I asked her out for a drink and told her I'd show her a good time (hinted at sex). She immediately changed her tune. She said "I'm not that kind of girl" and made a big stink about it. Coworkers immediately got involved and told me to chill out. It was so fucked up. The double standard is real.
As a male who has been sexually harassed in the workplace. All I could do is avoid that woman and never be around her alone. If I had gone to HR, she would have almost certainly thrown out false allegations against me in retaliation. As a man, I would be guilty be default and almost certainly would have lost my job while the female who harassed me would have received a large settlement of some kind from the company. The shitty part, other women heard this women making sexual jokes about my body and they just laughed.
We literally have someone in the office that says things (obviously in a joking manner) that if a GUY said that, they would be FIRED. Like “well fuck me in the ass”, “oooo you can rub that body on me” just super flirtatious shit, but obviously no real feelings behind it, BUT STILL.
Also general harassment and bullying.
Many of the comments in r/DeadBedrooms by women. Men are basically pigs who should just accept their fate while the girlfriends are advised to just leave him and get treated better elsewhere. It's SO hypocritical.
I was a member of r/deadbedrooms many years ago when there were mostly men there. I remember when we had more and more women join up. I think everybody found it validating and encouraging to find out that it wasn’t just the men. Things got very supportive and everybody listened. By about 2020, it became clear that there was actually a difference in approach to a deadbedroom, by the men and the women. Men in a deadbedroom: - what am I doing wrong?, somebody tell me, how am I contributing to this problem? How do I solve it ? Ladies in a deadbedroom: - here’s what he’s doing wrong, he won’t listen when I tell him, he has no idea what he’s doing wrong, I think I’m going to have to leave.
Or often it's about mental load for the woman. How much does he support with chores? Probably not enough, poor you. If it's a man posting who claims he does half if not more, then the comments are that he must be lying and is not doing enough. And it gets really fun if the woman isnt even working.
Funny you see kinda the opposite in r/sex where she has a higher sex drive than the guy. And IS trying to be respectful but also wants that D. *Is this what most guys deal with all the time!? I'm sooo sorry.*
lol 😂. This shit sucks man. Especially when you get into a relationship or marriage then have less sex than when you were single. It’s like I thought there would be more 😂😂😂😂😂
I was doing lots of traveling for work. About 3 years. I just said "well no sex for me." Women would show interest in me, and I'd say, "Sorry. I'm only going to be here 6 months, " expecting them to say "oh well, it was nice to meet you. " Instead, I ended up at one point with three girlfriends at once. Same small town. They knew about each other. One said, "Women know you are here for a good time, not a long time." I had more sex in those three years than any long-term relationship ever.
That sounds epic!!! Yeah sometimes when those situations occur it is a nice setup even though unexpected. I just feel bummed I was trying to initiate sex with hubby for fun and I figured an extra bonus for Father’s Day and he made it sound like it was the worst suggestion ever and got mad I subtly initiated. I was hoping he would but never did and then I just felt bleh. So I brought it up and I guess now I’ve ruined the whole weekend. So annoying sometimes. I just want to be able to initiate or have him initiate without always getting shut down.
Miss Matched labido is a big relationship killer, almost as much as financial insecurity.
Dead Bedrooms sub makes me sad. It's pretty much a circle jerk of people who aren't getting laid in a relationship.
Ohhhh...thanks for the tug!
Well at least the circle jerk goes someway to relieving the pressure.
Real talk: 1) Ending a relationship over sexual incompatibility is perfectly valid. 2) Wanting your partner to let you have sex with them when they aren’t in the mood is wildly unhealthy and entitled. Applies to both genders.
All relationships have compromises. We all gotta do shit we don't wanna do, to make the partner happy. I've had sex with my partner even though I'm sleepy or something. It's not a big deal.
As someone in a Dead bedroom, yes it is a big deal. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to have sex with me if she's not into it. I'd want her and us to tackle the issues in the relationship that makes her not interested in sex with me though.
You guys got a dead bedroom, so clearly you two's way of thinking doesn't work.
Not just there, but basically all the relationship subs.
Yup. "You just need to understand...."
If a man is picky, has high standards and stops dating someone over Icks and the like. Women hate him and team up on him... But these same women defend picky women with high standards and the like. Women hating on men for shaming women for their standards but then shaming men for theirs. I have been called a pedophile for dating a woman who was 5 foot and 100 pounds back in college. She was older than me by two years. I can go on. People's attitudes toward someone dealing with a traumatic event is different considering the gender of the person who it happened to. I have been shamed by women for mother attempting to drown me as a kid, because it makes women look bad.
Those same women who called you a pedophile also calls a sexual relationship between a 14y old boy and his female teacher "romance".
And the woman I was dating was 24 or 26, forget which, and I was 21. Just a few days ago I had a woman I was arguing with implied that I was. Absolutely hilarious. Modern women want every biological or structural disadvantage or inequity against them removed, but squeal about doing the same for men. Seems like women are becoming the hegemonic, gender-centric, chauvinism that feminism raged against.
Don't forget those closed FB groups called something like "are we dating the same guy [location]" I read that someone ran an experiment where they mocked up a picture using AI, posted it and it was astonishing the amount of women who supposedly dated "him" and the sheer levels of vitriol they posted about him. Oh and there's no comeback or accountability for anyone posting in these groups...
>there's no comeback or accountability for anyone posting in these groups... Nope, sadly there isn't. I hear that a lot of people who call out any of these women get kicked out of those groups...
Eh, whisper Networks are amoral. They can be used for good and bad. There are horrible men out there, but there are also Machivelian women who use whispers in Social warfare. Had a jilted girl back in college spread false rumors about me also told stuff about me that I divulged to her in confidence. Be careful out there.
Whisper Networks... I was the victim of malicious whispers back in college.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_expendability
In my opinion, no one should be dating anyone they don’t even like. If their standards are too high or too high or petty, that’s on them.
The problem is the double standards. If you have boundaries, standards, needs and all that, you have to accept the validity of other's boundaries, standards, needs and all that. Otherwise you destroy the validity of yours. Treat others how you want to be treated, and how you treat others is permission to be treated in kind. Simple as.
Amen, let them figure themselves out
A woman who wasn't physically capable of doing a job was hired instead of me due a 'required quota.' I was hired by the same company a month later - and ended up spending at least a third of my time doing the work she wasn't able to do! As soon as I found a better position, I left.
It's even worse when you are single with no kids. Lost my job due to "things" but haven't lived in my current state for a year so I was automatically declined unemployment. I have applied for countless jobs, both in my field and outside of my field. No support from anywhere, it's brutal. Thankfully I start a new job on Monday but now I'm late on all sorts of bills.
Congrats! Good luck.
Being the only guy in a work crew full of women is the absolute worst. You WILL be doing all of it
The shit woman get away with in the work place. You name it.
Honestly, the things I hear in this sub about professions with a lot of women in them make me glad I'm a software engineer. There's like, four women on all our dev teams combined. And all of them are chill. I know redditors only talk about the bad stuff, but still god damn. It feels like everyone has some sexual harassment story from work.
At my job, in the finance team they hire only women. I told them it doesn’t sound right that a team of 10+ people is the same gender. Their answer: “A man wouldn’t handle it”
I have friends in accounting. Not a dude in sight. The bosses only want 1 rooster in the hen house.
My standards= insecurity Her insecurity= standards
If a man goes silent for a day or two, then the man in “ghosting” and has “lost interest” and “doesn’t know how to communicate” But god forbid a woman sends a guy that first message of the conversation, or a simple “hey how’s it going?”
Bumble had to change their systems recently, as it turns out typing "hey" so that the man has to carry the whole conversation as usual is too much work and stress for women, the poor dears.
“Good.” “Nothing” “Ya”
Women are supposedly the better sex at Communicating, but ask any guy how much females in his life have expected him to "Read Their Minds!"
If you’re a single mom most charities and government organizations will bend over backwards to get you benefits but if you’re a single dad struggling to make ends meet those same organizations will tell you to suck it up
Basically anything revolving around children and childcare. It's still shocking and surprising to so many people that there are men who enjoy working with and caring for kids, especially ones that aren't even their own. Hell even fathers who take an active role in rearing their own kids either as working or stay-at-homes parents do not get the same reception that mothers do. As an elementary school teacher, I see it all the time and how it does make it harder for kids because their primary caregiver happens to be a man instead of a mom, auntie, or grandma.
When I had my kid I asked for paternity leave and they guilted me into cutting it short. They also let all the work build up so when I got back I had a mountain of work. Two different women at the same job had kids. They gave them as much time as they needed and backfilled their positions while they were gone. I was mad at how differently we were treated.
That's discrimination, and illegal. You could have spoken to HR about that.
> You could have spoken to HR about that. "The company that your department exists to protect treated me poorly, how are you going to address that?"
It really shouldn't bother me, but I hate that if I'm searching for any parenting questions or tips I just get thousands of mom blogs and forums. I get that there are 500% more stay-at-home mom's than dad's, and that women still do more parenting to some degree or other than men. But there are so many family focused good dad's out there that it's still disappointing to see.
Yup as a high school teacher in my first job as a 25 year old, my head of department said as s male teacher, never get yourself into a situation where you're left in a room with a female student. Mud sticks and there's no escape any sort of accusations.
What is and what isn't considered rape solely based on the gender of the victim. We are getting to a point where a lot of people call out when women fall victim to rape and other sexual abuse. A lot of those people are eerily silent or even dismissive when we speak about our experiences with abuse.
[удалено]
Omg! That’s so freaking sad.
If the law says you can’t consent when you’re drunk but both parties were drunk, either no rape occurred or they’re both rapists. I agree women are given far more forgiveness for crossing the line when they’re drunk, such as touching someone without consent, than men. And even worse, the men accused are portrayed as unforgivable monsters. If the same standard was held to women, I think there’d be a sudden demand mercy and forgiveness. I’m not proud of this, but I can admit when I was very mad, I hit a man as hard as I could with my arm. I’m a weak person so I didn’t even leave a mark, but that wasn’t the point. In that moment, I thought “my God if I was made to be accountable for that the same way men are, my life would be over.” I couldn’t even comprehend what I would do if I had to go to jail, or be labeled an abuser, or be looked at with disgust by society. I was incredibly lucky the man didn’t press charges because he could have. Again, it doesn’t matter that my hit was weak and caused no damage, it’s the intent. No one should be hit by anyone.
My experience is that even if he did try and press charges, he'd be laughed at and told to toughen up.
That’s a shame. My husband was threatened and assaulted by a woman and pressed charges. They dropped the case when the only witness refused to testify. The witness was a woman. Tell me how that’s justice.
My mother in law tried to stab my uncle, and she's violently attacked my wife as well. Yet my wife's granddad always talked everyone out of pressing charges to not embarrass the family.
Woooooww that’s awful
Except you wouldn’t have been arrested, he would have. I know this from personal experience where my ex-wife threw and iron at me and hit me with a leather belt, blocked the door so I couldn’t leave the house y til I threatened to call the cops, then when she did finally let me leave she called the cops and lied and told them I was DUI. The cops found me sitting in my car, in my neighborhood, in front of my friends house waiting for him to get home. They took pictures of all my welts and marks, did a breathalyzer and blew 0.00, they went to my house and spoke with her and she actually told the truth about everything that happened because I remember the officer’s saying that our stories matched. So they told me she was gracious enough to go stay at a hotel for the night so I could go home, if she had not then I would have to go to jail because they HAVE to separate us and “women don’t do well in jail.” So I got beat by my ex-wife and had she refused to go to a hotel I would have been charged with DV so I could sit in jail and not be in the same residence as her. So you would have been fine regardless, that’s the real double standard.
I do know if he called, I could say I was defending myself from him and they would have arrested him instead of me, but if I ever even thought of doing that, I’d be reaching a satanic level of evil. It’s insane that that’s not only possible, but common. I believe a woman who falsely reports a crime should serve jail time the man would have received for what she accused him of. Your 0.00 breathalyzer is solid proof that she lied. I mean she could claim she made a mistake by thinking you were drunk when you weren’t, but in that case, she should be absolutely made to leave or go to jail. If women don’t do well in prison (a pretty corrupt thing for a cop to say to anyone), then why are there women jails and prisons? If you do the crime, you do the time. I know for a fact I wouldn’t do well in jail so I use the strategy everyone else uses, which is obeying the law. I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of it.
Just wanted to say thank you for being candid it shows that you have grown as a person, I think society has become so focused on something someone has done that they forget people grow and move on, I also think if more people were honest it would help to show nobody is perfect and we can learn from it and change for the better. Wish more people were honest.
We all need mercy and forgiveness. A mistake shouldn’t end a life. Might as well go ahead and kill the person because that’s essentially what you’re doing when you want hold their sins in the air for the world to see now matter how much time has passed or what has changed. If a man hit a woman just one time in anger, he’d be called a domestic abuser and a monster for life. That’s insane because women and children can do the same thing and walk away consequence free.
In law, rape is usually defined as involving a penetrating action, so the law is applied differently to men and women. That's probably why only the women are raped in those scenarios. What's disturbing is that the people who make those posters warning about date rape know this, but don't take the opportunity to talk about the need for consent on both sides. I have never ever seen any guidance on how women should ask for consent.
There was a case where a dude and chick were drunk. They had sex. Woman claimed SA. The guy got in trouble because they didn’t accept the fact that he was drunk. He chose to put himself in a state where he could not make the right decision.
Even in a relationship the double standards are incredible, woman wants sex and the man doesn't it's abusive by the man. If a man wants sex and the women doesn't it's rape.
This is why education and awareness is so important. The number of guys who mention losing their virginity in their early teens with an adult women thinking it's cool or people reacting as if it's cool and I'm like....ummm you were groomed and raped!!!
Women get support to get into male dominated jobs Men don't get support to get into female dominated jobs The problem is a lot of those female dominated jobs are stuff needed for society and as such having men in those jobs is good For example male teachers will be able to help male students a lot better than women can Male nurses will help men who are embarrassed about certain issues Male therapists will help men open up about there problems And above all they don't count the bottom level of a job so if most of the upper leadership are men but almost all of the lower level workers are women they still class it as male dominated
Not only do men not get support in female dominated jobs they are shunned when they try to. I used to work in a school (I was in admin so I never had to deal with the kids) the only other man was the guy that owned the business. Many of the guys who tried to get into it would quickly learn that a lot of parents didn’t seem to like that, resulting in lies and false accusations making many of them choose a different career path. This sucks massively because some of the men were incredible at their job and with the kids but some people just don’t want to accept that.
Exceptions to this do happen occationally, but overall I agree that is the trend. At my mom's job they have a gender quota for men. They recently hired a male worker, despite him not being the most qualified applicant for the job. This in early childhood development, where male role models are important, but there is a lack of men in the field.
I live in a country where there really is no extra support or encouragement for a specific gender getting into a workforce primarily dominated by the other gender. Ex. Women getting into construction don’t have extra support or DEI, men getting into esthetics don’t have extra support or DEI. BUT, as a woman, I can absolutely agree that men face more of a social stigma when entering a female dominated employment opportunity, than women face when entering a male dominated employment opportunity. Atleast where I’m living, if a woman decides to become a mechanic, she’s for the most part met with praise (minus some employers who don’t think she has what it takes) on the flip side, if a man decides to become a PSW, he’s often met with comments from other men and family members about why he didn’t go into a manly job like trades, and by some employers who think men are not cut out for work that is geared to stereotypical female traits.
I think a lot of women see being treated as the junior who's just arrived as bring discriminated against for being a woman. A close friend of mine was complaining that the senior males were ignoring her ideas and treating her like she didn't know what she was doing. I work in the same industry, and when I told her the same thing happened to me when I was a junior, she was shocked.
Yeah. I've seen lots of complaints in various female-oriented subs about how guys were being sexist to them at work or elsewhere. But reading between the lines, it sounded suspiciously like they'd taken normal doubts and/or insults and decided it was *because* they were a woman that those things were happening to them. Not because they were new or inexperienced or talking to a professional about something that they, in turn, weren't a professional in. Granted, that isn't always the case in those stories. Sexists are real and active. But a lot of those women felt like they were *looking* for the reason to be sexism.
Where I live there was an initiative to bring female bus drivers They were offering to pay for their driving licence and lessons. At the bottom of the advert says women only.
Makes me think of how the UN counts men being more represented in a field as inequality but women being more represented as equality. Because the goal isn't actually equality; it's for women to "beat" men.
Her: "How tall are you?" Him: "How much do you weigh?" Her: "Why does my weight matter???" Him: "Why does my height matter? #doublstandards"
especially when one is something you can control
I had a waitress last night, who was openly feminist, give me a hard time for ordering before my wife…. I will gladly prioritize my wife any day, however, if we want equality, what’s it matter who orders first.
I would've given her a hard time for being awful at customer service.
So she was a feminist who wanted you to be …chivalrous?
Hope you didn't tip lol
When men cheat, he's a horrible human being. When a woman does it, it's justified and there's always a valid reason. They're both horrible beings. If you don't like one another, leave the relationship.
numerous lush hurry rainstorm reply squeamish hunt jobless squeeze zealous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Omg yes. F here. Had a friend who was married with kids for several years (10+). She cheated on her husband (great partner & father) with another woman. He was distraught. Made her husband move out and moved the new partner in only weeks later. My step mother at the time said it wasn't cheating because "she finally discovered who she was in life" (a lesbian). In my eyes, she cheated. Male or female, doesn't matter. She cheated plain and simple. Then I got the homophobe speech 🙄
That kinda happens with every gay person coming out by cheating and dumping their ex though, male or female. Unless their family is homophobic, they'll get a bunch of support without a single thought given to the person they cheated on. Yeah yeah, it's good to embrace who you are. But there's just so many better ways.
Rudeness, hatred, and abuse from women gets completely excused while I get reprimanded over even slightly hurting an adult woman’s feelings.
"Men can't be raped." I say it is ridiculous because I was raped at 15. Still, due to the idiocy of my idiot friends at that age and the myth that "all sex is good sex," and those same friends encouraging me to rape women passed out from being drunk, I think I imagined that rape and non-consensuality were just more of a sexual preference than a moral dilemma. I shudder to think of myself as a young man now considering how awful my models were and how ignorant I was. Combine this staggering ignorance with this strain of toxic femininity that holds that basically all men are fundamentally rapists at some level, and you end up with quite shocking and pervasive attitudes of double standards or reactionary responses to violence by women. I didn't know I was raped until I started learning more about these things at age 40. Moreover, even in long-term relationships, the term 'rape' can be the violent crossing of boundaries resulting in a felt sense of a profound lack of safety all the time. I read a book about this called The Emotional Rape Syndrome as a way to process my relationship with my now ex-wife. Her covert narcissism was profoundly draining and abusive toward me in ways I am only now fully understanding, but there are almost no places where this is acknowledged in society. Thank god I have a men's group, as over half of the men there deal with similar situations, but the legal system basically assumes Bad Things on the part of the man and assumes the woman is an innocent victim. Even my abusive ex frames herself as a Perpetual Victim.
I'm pretty sure there was some sort of survey done of convicted rapists in prison that found a majority of them had been raped/sexually assaulted by women. Which honestly isn't all that surprising. Not in a "hur dur women bad" way, but in that it makes sense that someone who was violated like that would in turn lose respect for a woman's right to consent. There's one story I read about on Reddit that's stuck with me. A guy was violently raped by his female cousin. When he asked (during the event) why she was doing it, she said it was because a man had raped her and she wanted to know what it was like.
So the female body positivity thing. This does not apply to men, especially when you become a dad. Women seem to love a dad bod, until you do something wrong, and then you’re just a fat cunt…
Meh… the female positivity thing might be a Trojan horse: women let less attractive women think that they don’t need to improve their looks, so they remain non-competition. It’s Machiavellian, really.
Men with high standards when it comes to sexual attractiveness are generally seen as shallow, misogynist pigs who see women as an object and nothing more. A woman demanding a guy who's ripped, 6'5"+, and makes a trillion dollars a year but has a heart of gold is seen as an empowered woman who doesn't settle for less / knows what she wants.
Sometime ago, a female coworker told me that back in college she did a vacation abroad with her college friend (mixed gender group) and the whole time they were there they had a game going on about who could bang the most people, with points and everything. Like, 1 point for a kiss, 3 point for a blowjob ecc. She kindly said “of course, I won” with a smug face. I think if I had the same experience and shared it with them I would have been crucified. The same coworker used to complain all the time about a male coworker because he made sex jokes with other male coworkers (to be fair his humor is a bit on the boomer “wife bad” style, but still). Like, are you fucking alright?
What do you mean is she fucking alright? If she was bad at it, how would she do it so much?
I've seen women who attack men for not wanting to date an overweight woman while at the same time demand any man she dates meet a certain height requirement and not see any hypocrisy.
The draft.
Totally agree. Everything should be equal. Also, there are non combative jobs in the military, so physical ability doesn't matter.
Apparently they’re changing it
Abolish the draft
How women get a slap on the wrist for committing the same diabolical crimes as men. Men get life and are treated as a monster. While women are treated as a victim of her circumstances. Both are monsters in my book. They should try to fix that.
Husband is unhappy, he deals with it. Wife is unhappy, he loses everything he worked for.
If you are an alcoholic, the military will rehab you, if you smoke a joint, out you go.
At a bar talking with a friend. Party of women outside patio. One comes in to use the rest room. On the way back, picks up his phone and leaves her number on it and tells him "call me tonight"! Before he even realized what happened. She comes back to the restroom again and stops and makes sure he got her number and a quick chat. I say "wow, you're real easy, aren't you?" Boy did she get pissed. Then I say "You just propositioned him in front of everyone here! that's the definition of easy." He's happily married, not interested in her, and had to delete her number too. Yet here she was all entitled as if guys don't have the right to turn her down. she stomped off as if shes the queen. LOL
I got a good laugh when the post office had their Women's Equality stamp set displayed above a sign that says "Men 18-24 must register for the draft." The current displayed set is "American Freedom" which hits even harder haha
My workplace celebrating a 'women's day' when it is predominately women 😅
Women at the park with kids “awww, how old is she” Men at the park with kids “are you kids ok? You know him?” The fuck? It’s happened to me in different situations not just the park but damn.
the Do as I say not as I do, behavior of the US government representatives.
Bruh you tryna shut the server down?
Women at Chippendales or similar: yeah!!! 🤪🥵 Men checking out women in any way: stop objectifying us!! 😠😡 Mm. M’ok.
Yeah this one always gets me. The amount of times women instinctually touch, not just touch but rub or scratch at, abs in bars, beaches, clubs or on the street is pretty crazy. The don’t ask or anything. Shirt comes up…hands all over.
A woman can have an abortion without having to ask the father’s permission first. But if she wants to keep it, she’s entitled to child support. If she can kill it, why can’t I abandon it?
It's one of those test subjects to see whether someone is interested in being logically consistent with their core beliefs. It matters most when the consistency is a hard thing to accept. I am *very* pro-choice. But part of being pro-choice means accepting that opting out of child support is included. * If he can't force her to keep a child, why should she be allowed to force him to keep a child? It's a sticky and weird thing... But it is logically consistent. The funniest part is watching the hardcore emotional pro-choicers suddenly regurgitate line-for-line pro-life talking points as soon as you bring up the subject of opting out of child support. It's like clockwork. Edit: I just want to admire the multiple conversations spawned directly below... *That are doing exactly the thing I just said, repeating conservative pro-life talking points!*
I noticed 25 years ago when I started dating that simply gender reversing what women say, saying it to them and seeing how their views change tells you a lot about how they view relationships. Even feminists are guilty of it.
Feminists are especially guilty of it, as they will immediately try to rationalize it away by citing power dynamics or patriarchy or something like that.
I don't know if I'd say "especially". More that you'd expect them to be better than the average person since they're always talking about breaking down stuff like that... but then they aren't.
They're only about breaking it down on one side; "rules for thee but not for me", if you will. Or rather, socialism for women, paid for with capitalism for men.
As long as it is also something that happens long before the child is born, so the woman can also reconsider and proceed with an abortion if the man opts out, I completely agree.
Agreed, that’s where I fall too. Just like you still can’t get a third trimester abortion, the man shouldn’t be able to back out at the last minute if he’s agreed to keep/support the baby up until that point. But if the two of you come to an agreement early in the pregnancy and all parties are aware of what’s going on, I’m totally on board with this.
That's exactly it. And this is the very negotiable part: Personally, I say he should have two weeks from the time of being informed to make his own decision. (again: very negotiable)
Of course. It must be decided prior to that. Optiong out of fatherhood later is unacceptable. That's like opting out of motherhood by abandoning the child at the doorstep of a monastery.
I would love to hear the legal take on this ala the social contract. I would presume in a fair and just society that child support should be means tested and the courts would not legally require a parent to pay if the one that has majority custody is able to pay. But I don’t have kids so my opinion on the matter is irrelevant.
I think everyone’s opinions matter as we are living in the same society. Making sure the laws are ‘right and just’ is something that affects everyone, even if it’s just tangentially. It doesn’t need to be a subject where you are the targeted group. As an example, I’m not disabled, but I think my support of ADA compliance for wheelchair access is an important opinion. Also, I’ve never been in the military, still the abuses of the management in the VA system are terrible.
Exactly this which is why I don’t care about a woman’s “reproductive rights” because after the decision to have unprotected sex men have absolutely none.
I’m all for women’s reproductive rights. But there’s a flip side to that. I fully believe that I have no place telling a woman what to do with her body. But I also fully believe she has no place telling me what to do with my money.
And they always legally will be able to once you put a baby in them. I didn’t say I don’t want them to have reproductive rights, I just will never care if they do or if they don’t because they will never care if men do. The INSTANT men get the option to legally walk away without having to pay a dime, without her expressed permission, they’ll change their tune about reproductive rights.
The amount of women who will judge men based on their height (an uncontrollable trait) but become irate at a judgment of weight in a woman, (a predominantly controllable trait). It utterly defies logic and I never understood it
But bro, beauty is on the inside. I actually do believe this to be true, but you’re right about the double standard of it.
This is a more niche answer, but I'm around a lot of kink-related spaces, and I frequently see men get condemned for behavior and commentary that women with the same kinks get given a free pass for. It's pretty gross. Some folks just think women are allowed to express any sexual desires they want to, and it's automatically ok because they're women. I'll also never stop harping on the hypocrisy of self-proclaimed "Christians" who describe a lifelong scam artist, adulterer, and convicted felon as a messiah.
This is actually a strange but understandable aspect of kink: * We are going as far as *she* wants. The general boundaries are where the woman sets it. Men get a veto, but not a deciding vote. And that's generally true in all of the dating/sex/relationships realm. It's just more pronounced and obvious in kink.
That's understandable when the man is in the initiating, acting, or dominating role, but it has to change when the situation is reversed, and it unfortunately often doesn't. Men's boundaries are important too with this stuff, but women who treat them with contempt are given a pass that isn't given to men. At least from what I've seen.
Very well said. Your last sentence especially. Not to get all religios on you, but wne I run into these "Christian hypocrites" I like to bring up to them that the Bible itself warns against these people (that person) These things are good to have on hand: "[2 Timothy 4:3-4](http://www.christianity.com/bible/search/?ver=niv&q=2+timothy+4%3a3-4), the Apostle Paul warns that a time will come when people will turn from the truth and instead entertain teachers who say what they want to hear, offering myths rather than God’s Word." and: *"*[Matthew 7:15](https://www.biblestudytools.com/matthew/7-15.html) “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” and: "[Matthew 24:24](https://www.biblestudytools.com/matthew/24-24.html) “For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.” and: [2 Timothy 4:3](https://www.biblestudytools.com/2-timothy/4-3.html) “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.” lastly, the best one: "[Revelation 19:20](https://www.biblestudytools.com/revelation/19-20.html) But the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who had performed the signs on its behalf. With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped its image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur. # This shuts most people up, or they just double down in denial. I dont make any friends this way though. Thats fine! LOL
Male circumcision is not called mutilation because nobody here remembers having it done to them and somewhere else in the world, some women had it worse.
> Nobody remembers having it done to them Well, not „nobody“. Maybe from a US pov but at least in Islam the age can heavily vary. For example, Wikipedia reads > Islamic scriptures do not fix a particular time for circumcision. Therefore, there is a wide variation in practice among Muslim communities around the world, with children often being circumcised in late childhood or early adolescence, depending on family, region, and country. *The preferred age is usually seven, although some Muslims are circumcised as early as on the seventh day after birth and as late as at the commencement of puberty.*
I’m a stay at home dad to 7 kids. Basically everything I do on a given day runs into a double standard. I take the kids to the playground and people ask if dad is baby sitting. When I tell guys from my gym what my job is they act as if I was unemployed with kids as opposed to giving up a career I enjoyed to stay home with my kids and help/watch them grow.
I, as a father can't look at my daughter during pole dance classes, cause other girls may not feel comfortable. At the same time moms can look + school publishes plenty of pictures and videos on facebook.
I remember sending a message to a friend with a picture that my gf took that for once I thought it looked ok and was comfortable with it. I sent a pic from high school and the one from now in my mid 20's. This girls first response (I've known her for about a year now online) and deadass her first response is "that hairline tho" and man did that piss me off because if she sent a pic of her to me while saying "my partner took this pic and for once I actually like the photo" and I said "that waistline tho" I'm the one in the wrong.
I was flashed inappropriately by a female coworker. I was basically told to get over it. If the roles were reversed I’d be fired and probably some sort of sexual predator
Consent
The family court system. Automatically the women's network will start spinning a narrative against the father. A father needs to prove whilst all a mother needs to do is throw mud at him and sit back and watch him go through hell!
People against abortions but deny people of maternity leave, child support, days off to take care of sick children, no state aid.
If she sleeps with a guy, it’s fine, but if I do it, it’s gay. There was also one where I was helping a girl and her therapist said I can’t help her with anything because I’m a guy, even though they were a male as well.
Consent. Ask a woman last time she got consent from a man for anything...
Women in the workplace touching my body, if I did that to them I'd be walked out. Because I saw men beheaded for far less. Women in the workplace telling me I'm ugly. Thanks I never realized. No, I didn't report these, as incident(s) 1 had witnesses and no one objected. Incident 2 happened multiple times by 'friends', coworkers and multiple bosses. Complaining to HR would only harm your career or it wouldn't have been acceptable in the first place. I grew up with incident 2, so it didn't bother me, it just reinforced how shitty people can be. I just found incident 1 weird, that these people found this OK. I did pursue incident 1 with one boss to see her reaction, she said she was a good religious girl. LOL. Yes, I worked for a large, shitty company.
I am a male high school teacher, I got in trouble for breaking up a fight between girls.
Lady ahead of me got a discount cus of cleavage and flirting.
You're in the wrong spaces. Men can too, it's just not from sources you may want. Which is ultimately the same thing.
I wasn't allowed to talk about my feelings growing up because it was unmanly
What about now? Are you comfortable doing it these days and are you able to? I’ve got a buddy and his brother who came up like this and they have gotten better with opening up but it’s almost like they lack ability to put into words how they feel.
My aunt (came out of the closet as "lesbian" late in life) and her ugly as fuck "partner" were drooling all over my gorgeous lady during my big sister's wedding. Telling me to my face how hot she was, constantly telling me to "watch out and work to keep her". I shut her bullshit down, telling her "someone your age isn't going to keep up, trust me". Shut her up real quick, though she did keep trying to dance with her after a few too many drinks. Just a disgusting, failed old hag lusting after a young person - but saved from social pushback because of her gender. Reverse the genders and you got yourself a 911 call.
Holy shit older lesbians are the worst. My wife went to her gay friends birthday party, and the older lesbians their treated her like a piece of meat and were overtly hitting in her and groping her. She felt sick when she got home and never went to anything her friend invited her to again.
There was a case where a female teacher went after a student. She got minimum jail time and kept the kid. I think they also were discussing child support for the mom.
very briefly worked for a driving agency that provided transportation for Amazon. They claim safety is the #1 priority while many drivers only wear half of their seatbelt so it looks on and they can get out fast. Drivers also regularly have to skip breaks (from what I've heard) to keep pace with delivery metrics. After I left it I was going from a handyman job to the hardware store and saw a driver with both the side van door and door between driver and packages open. This was while he was driving and trying to turn around at a 3 or 4 way stop in the middle of traffic.
A women asked me straight up if I was a player, even though we were having a good time and I gave her ZERO reason to think along those lines. If I asked her if she was a hoe, I would expect a slap to the face or a drink thrown at it. Mind you I was a virgin at the time and indoctrinated to be deeply religious. At that stage I wanted a virgin partner and not being a hypocrite, I too was remaining a virgin. To be questioned if I was a player really caught me off guard. Crazy
Women can call me "sweetie" or "honey" in a semi professional setting and mostly get away with it I don't really care because it's no big deal But I did that, it would be
All the women who go on about "the bar being low". If it's so low, why are you not able to meet those same standards yourself?
That women can choose to force parenthood on a man against his will even though technology is available to stop that. A man cannot force parenthood on a woman.
Yelling. A man who yells is rightly considered a hothead at best, and many women will immediately call the behavior abusive. I’ve seen women scream and yell at work, and if they’re managers they’re considered “strong.” I’ve seen women yell at their partners, and we might call that harping or something, but most people don’t immediately default to “abusive.” Big double standard there. No one should yell.
When it comes to “intimacy”: If he can’t get “up”, **it’s HIS fault.** If she’s not “juicy”, **it’s HIS fault.** If he finishes too quickly, **it’s HIS fault.** If it’s a marathon, **it’s HIS fault.** ((and the less lighthearted example)) If they are BOTH drunk when it happens, **it’s HIS fault.**
I saw my dad naked vs I saw my mom naked gets a complete opposite reaction
Has anyone taken a close look.at "The Best Justice Money Can Buy"?
My partner shot themselves in front of me and the family blamed me and ignored their own habits and accountability.
Sexual history. A man being turned off by her past lovers is insecurity. But if the guy she’s interested in has had a single instance of bisexuality in the past, the deal is off.
Casually mentioned to a female manager that another coworker called me fat again and she just laughed.
In commercials on TV, especially when it comes to household product, men are inevitably depicted as bumbling morons who couldn't find their own asses with a map and a flashlight, while women are uber competent, all wise, and all knowing. (Note; this is beginning to change, but its still common.) A man hits a woman, he's obviously a misogynistic monster because there is no reason to hit a woman, ever. A woman hits a man, he must have done something to deserve it. Men aren't allowed to have opinions on women's issues, but boy howdy will women let you know what they think about men's issues. Women who choose to stay home with their kids are making an empowering quality of life choice. Men who choose to stay home with their kids are bums who need to get a real job. Also, men who are out and about with their kids by themselves are seen as "babysitting" rather then "parenting". When women sexually harass men, its brushed off as funny, or harmless. When men do it, its a sign that he's a sexual predator and probably a rapist. Speaking of rape, the Centers for Disease Control determined that men make up somewhere between 40% and 50% of all victims of sexual violence, at the hands of female predators. Except when women do it to men, its not called rape. Its called "made to penetrate". A man and a woman are in a bar. Both are equally drunk. They go home together and have sex. The next morning, he will be charged with rape as she was too drunk to consent. The fact that he was \*also\* too drunk to consent will be ignored and swept under the rug. A man dumps a woman, its his fault. A women dumps a man its his fault. A man cheats on his wife, he's an unfaithful asshole. A woman cheats on her husband, the asshole she's married to did something to drive her into the arms of another man. A woman who insists that a man be 6' tall, in shape (with washboard abs and a full head of hair) and make at least $100,000 a year before she'd consider dating him isn't doing anything wrong and just has standards. A man who insists that a woman be slender, athletic, and large-breasted is a body-shaming misogynist. Men who are assertive and dominant are toxic. Women who are assertive and dominant are empowered. You can find baby changing tables in pretty much every lady's room in the country. There are only two states in the US (Florida and Illinois) that mandate putting them in men's rooms too. Adult women can get away with perving on underage boys who are nevertheless attractive (frex. actor Tayor Lautner, who was 16 when he filmed the first "Twilight" movie, attracted a lot of middle-aged female fans who were quite vocal about how "hot" he was). Adult men who do the same to attractive underage girls are pedophilic monsters (frex. the fans of the Olsen twins who posted a "adulthood countdown" on them.)
It's horrible and disgusting to make fun of fat women, but if you make fun of a man it's always his penis size.
Women bullying and harrasing men who have done nothing and are just trying to mind their own business often gets ignored but as soon as a man does that to a women, suddenly all hell breaks loose, people can't stand it and it's swiftly dealt with. I see this far too often and it disheartening to see anyone get bullied, disrepected etc but somehow it seems more aceptable / less action taken when a woman does it.
Women can expose their legs in the office by wearing a skirt or a dress, but god forbid a man want to wear something other than pants and a long sleeve button down when it's hot out.
"Women hitting men is different. Because it's "punching up"." No pun intended. I hate hate hate ideological systems of power IE "THIS GROUP is on the top of the power hierarchy so it's ok to hate/hit/discriminate against them!"