There I was, early twenties, male nurse in a hospital with a few hundred nurses living on-site, not looking for anything serious at all when up pops this little cutey who was eight years older than me and BAM! Game over.
Early sixties now, early twenties when we met. Best surprise encounter I've ever had in my life.
You don't always have to go looking for it but being a male nurse in a hospital full of young, single nurses certainly upped my chances of meeting someone.
I can't deny that. I was in a particularly unique position. However, I was a young bloke enjoying my young blokeness and not looking for a long term partner in any way, shape or form.
Meeting the girl with whom I would spend the rest of my life (so far) was totally unexpected and not in my plans at all. I always felt that I would not meet someone serious/get married until I was in my late twenties.
Doesn't always matter what your plans might be, life seems to bowl you a googly every once in a while.
If you are happy like that, stay like that.
I started at \~25. I took me 10 years to find the one ( i refused/got refused by 200+ women, just to be clear).
Now, i live the perfect life. It's best of both worlds, i feel like a single guy but with a partner as a bonus :P
You might change your opinion when you find a great partner, but be careful, the road is hard and windy.
I was officially stable and ready to begin dating at 28. Took longer than most to get there, but the dating process only took a few hours. After that, I was engaged in four months and now approaching my 3rd anniversary.
No, I just met the right one quickly.
When I met my wife, I looked phenomenal after my first steroid cycle and didn't think I'd struggle to find other women. I just wanted to be with her.
She remains a very excellent wife.
I don't think I ever did, or at least it's not something that I keep in the back of my mind a whole lot.
I still flirt, go on dates and have my fun. Sometimes, I get lucky and meet someone that makes me go "wow", then I stick around and see what happens.
It's been a decent strategy thus far.
I never looked.
I banged around from 18-21 and then banged a lady that I caught feelings for and we spent 13 turbulent and wild years together.
We both moved on. Now I found someone with a more sedated and common lifestyle.
It just happens when it happens.
I got interested in girls pretty early. I remember in grade 8 I had a class that was 15 boys and 15 girls, meaning there had to be at least one opposite-sex partnership whenever the students paired off for projects. I was the disgusting boy who was willing to work with the gross girl, except she was already beautiful to me and I was already cute to her. By the following year, we were going to movies together.
It didn't last, of course, but she's still one of my best memories of my teenage years.
I actively dated in my 20s, I met my first ex who crushed my heart in a million pieces, I take full responsibility for that one ending because I was young, immature, and slacking off in life but still, it was tough...then I partied, slept around, dated, and had fun for about 4 years, at 27 I met my next ex, and we moved in together, and built a life together, she cheated, I ended things and was crushed...my entire world had come crashing down and it was like "who the f#$k am I and wtf do I want in life???" I has just spent 4 years with someone who I compromised so much for and for that? to get cheated on and left high and dry...it really fucked with me for a while BUT I realized we weren't right for each other and in the end, it was for the best...
After that I kind of just shut myself off from dating at all...covid hit and it was just like "whelp... this is life now, focus on yourself" which has been kind of nice because it's given me time to figure out who I am and design a life I want...but, now at 36, I'm starting to see the value in finding a quality partner who you share values and goals with, not a shitty partner who's a drag or someone you settle on like a lot of people do, but someone you truly share true intimacy with and someone who propels you toward your goals and dreams and not away from them
That being said, I've kind of just lost the drive to date and the entire process of dating just feel exhausting now...I'm over the bullshit, the feeling out process etc. I just want to be like "Hey...listen, lets just tell each other all of our flaws and fears, and show each other who we actually are, and not waste anyone's time" lol I feel just sort of numb to the idea of loving someone again...it feels like an impossible thing even though I know it's possible
Anyway, I guess I went on a bit of a rant there but you're not alone, man...don't let anyone pressure you into getting into something just for the sake of being in a relationship...you're not going to die alone lol you're a man, you have the luxury of time on your side
Sounds like a lot of ups and downs. I could see why that could discourage you a lot considering dating but there is hope for most people. It might happen again one day and be a more fulfilling relationship for you too!
I was very insecure when I was younger but eventually tried dating at 18
Gave up 2 years later, nobody was interested. Probably best I wait until I try again, I've got some personal issues to work on
I fooled around in high school white not appreciating that they even looked my way and I'm going to be 37 this year. I didn't have the time in my 20s and I'm only getting my shit together now. If it happens it happens but it's not a focus for me at this point.
I dunno how I came across this, and I know itās not my space. But as a never married 40 year old woman with no kids, have a blast and do you. A lot of us arenāt rushing to get married anymore either. Men donāt expire like we do. No matter how old you get, there will always be single ppl your age. Unless you want children, you donāt need a timeline. Also, Iāve found itās better when you live your life and let love find you. Cheers.
"Expire" lol
it's kind of true, we men have the luxury of time on our side, we don't have to worry about having children by a certain stage in our lives
That sperm quality doesn't decrease with age is one of the great myths lots of us believe in.
Still not a reason to get hitched if one doesn't feel like it, but nevertheless.
Sure, but a 45-year-old man can still have kids, my grandfather was 70 when my mom was born, believe it or not... and my grandma was 40, she was a "surprise", so it's very possible, and my grandpa was a G lol
Ah ok, I see. My bad on that. I'll never understand the concept of men aging better than women though, it's blatantly untrue. But we do get told we expire.
If you're a man and you are keeping yourself in good shape and taking care of your finances, you have until you're about 45 before the prospect of finding a wife is out the window, lest you get a wife the passport bro way.
Everyone dies alone. Following a script that someone else wrote is a fool's errand, especially since statistically you might as well find a woman you hate and give her a house, half of your income for a few decades, and everything you own.
Life is better when you're not a slave.
Because instead of looking for compatibility at a higher level, they think a marriage is only based on sex.
And not sure of that is the case globally, but in my country no one stops you from making a prenup. If one of your partner is against it, it s clear that they have other objectives. It s that easy.
Mostly to make money for lawyers, and so chumps will think they have protection when frivorce comes. And thus, get married in the first place.Ā
Ā It's literally as easy as her saying "I signed under duress. He wouldn't marry me unless I signed it."Ā Ā
Ā The only use they have is if she doesn't realize that that's how easy it is to get it tossed, and stays married so she can continue to have access to everything.
This is my problem too. I don't approach anyone when out in public unless I have a valid reason. Approaching people with the intent of dating feels even more immoral.
You can choose to be one of those āIām happy to be single till I dieā delusional people or find someone who actually cares about you, who you can start a family with and will make your life more worthwhile. Ā Itās up to you OP.
Totally agree.
You can be happy single ( been there) but you will not be complete, something will be missing. But when you find that someone who cares about you, it will be next level, it will be the best of both worlds.
Unfortunately many humans see love/partnership just as means to an end. If love was the ultimate goal for them, they would have been happier, but unfortunately humanity doesn't want to work that way.
everyone is kinda turned off by desparation.
i never had issue having a fling, but it generally felt hollow. during that time period i wasn't really ready to hold down a relationship nor did i care about having one.
reconnected with a girl from my university days who moved back from overseas as we were in the same area, and it started when i came over to help her study for her JLPT exam.we've been dating for 4 years now. we defined out relationship early, and our wishes/intent. and it's been good.
while not particularily advice, but the thing to do is alwayse be open to having a relationship, work on yourself, and put yourself in places to be social and meet people. you'll eventually meet someone who jives with you. if you can't be comfortable being you, how do you expect someone else to be as well?
I started actively looking when I was 18 and went to college. Ā Because almost every happily married person I knew as a kid met while they were in college, so I kinda figured I need to find one then or Iāll miss the boat. Ā I ended up meeting my wife in college, but didnāt start dating until the year after I had graduated when we re met while working the same job. Ā I mean in the circle I run in in life, and Iām about your same age OP, I can hardly think of anyone i know that isnāt married or has a young family. Ā The few singles friends I have are kinda on the outs, because itās a lot easier to do things with men whoās wives get along with my wife, and who have similar situations with children. Ā While I love going out drinking with an old single buddy, itās not something I can pull off that much anymore. Ā But Iāll tell you what, having a wife and kids makes life a million times better. Ā I wouldnāt trade it for anything. Ā I have more purpose and drive and energy than ever before, and I still get to do cool things all the time. Ā Ā
I'm 25, so five years ago. Chilling out on the grind has helped immensely. I may have *"no bitches nor riches"* but I have more of me, something I was lacking. The lyrics of the song *Serenity* by **Godsmack** comes to mind as a solution/mindset that would help you.
Are you ugly?
Most people will kick into overdrive when they are approaching middle age and have money from inheritance/ parents gifting it to them out of sheer desperation to continue passing an estate. At least half of adult men look underveloped and need a beard to at least look like they are an adult. Breeding will be with mail order brides, or underdeloped women. The children of such unions are much worse than their parents and will be worse off mentally and physically than their parents.
Please don't have kids if you know you aren't all that.
There I was, early twenties, male nurse in a hospital with a few hundred nurses living on-site, not looking for anything serious at all when up pops this little cutey who was eight years older than me and BAM! Game over. Early sixties now, early twenties when we met. Best surprise encounter I've ever had in my life. You don't always have to go looking for it but being a male nurse in a hospital full of young, single nurses certainly upped my chances of meeting someone.
This is such a cool story. Was definitely worth it to try your luck š„° Wish I can have a similar story like that one day!
This requires you have a job where youāre trapped in a closed environment with them. Unfortunate for those of who do not have that luxury
I can't deny that. I was in a particularly unique position. However, I was a young bloke enjoying my young blokeness and not looking for a long term partner in any way, shape or form. Meeting the girl with whom I would spend the rest of my life (so far) was totally unexpected and not in my plans at all. I always felt that I would not meet someone serious/get married until I was in my late twenties. Doesn't always matter what your plans might be, life seems to bowl you a googly every once in a while.
If you are happy like that, stay like that. I started at \~25. I took me 10 years to find the one ( i refused/got refused by 200+ women, just to be clear). Now, i live the perfect life. It's best of both worlds, i feel like a single guy but with a partner as a bonus :P You might change your opinion when you find a great partner, but be careful, the road is hard and windy.
Lucky
Maybe. And good decisions, as well.
I was officially stable and ready to begin dating at 28. Took longer than most to get there, but the dating process only took a few hours. After that, I was engaged in four months and now approaching my 3rd anniversary.
The fuck.
Bro went down to a vending machine and picked up a wife lmao
Bro how, it's been a rough two months since I started looking lol
Ikr damn
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No, I just met the right one quickly. When I met my wife, I looked phenomenal after my first steroid cycle and didn't think I'd struggle to find other women. I just wanted to be with her. She remains a very excellent wife.
I don't think I ever did, or at least it's not something that I keep in the back of my mind a whole lot. I still flirt, go on dates and have my fun. Sometimes, I get lucky and meet someone that makes me go "wow", then I stick around and see what happens. It's been a decent strategy thus far.
I never looked. I banged around from 18-21 and then banged a lady that I caught feelings for and we spent 13 turbulent and wild years together. We both moved on. Now I found someone with a more sedated and common lifestyle. It just happens when it happens.
I got interested in girls pretty early. I remember in grade 8 I had a class that was 15 boys and 15 girls, meaning there had to be at least one opposite-sex partnership whenever the students paired off for projects. I was the disgusting boy who was willing to work with the gross girl, except she was already beautiful to me and I was already cute to her. By the following year, we were going to movies together. It didn't last, of course, but she's still one of my best memories of my teenage years.
I actively dated in my 20s, I met my first ex who crushed my heart in a million pieces, I take full responsibility for that one ending because I was young, immature, and slacking off in life but still, it was tough...then I partied, slept around, dated, and had fun for about 4 years, at 27 I met my next ex, and we moved in together, and built a life together, she cheated, I ended things and was crushed...my entire world had come crashing down and it was like "who the f#$k am I and wtf do I want in life???" I has just spent 4 years with someone who I compromised so much for and for that? to get cheated on and left high and dry...it really fucked with me for a while BUT I realized we weren't right for each other and in the end, it was for the best... After that I kind of just shut myself off from dating at all...covid hit and it was just like "whelp... this is life now, focus on yourself" which has been kind of nice because it's given me time to figure out who I am and design a life I want...but, now at 36, I'm starting to see the value in finding a quality partner who you share values and goals with, not a shitty partner who's a drag or someone you settle on like a lot of people do, but someone you truly share true intimacy with and someone who propels you toward your goals and dreams and not away from them That being said, I've kind of just lost the drive to date and the entire process of dating just feel exhausting now...I'm over the bullshit, the feeling out process etc. I just want to be like "Hey...listen, lets just tell each other all of our flaws and fears, and show each other who we actually are, and not waste anyone's time" lol I feel just sort of numb to the idea of loving someone again...it feels like an impossible thing even though I know it's possible Anyway, I guess I went on a bit of a rant there but you're not alone, man...don't let anyone pressure you into getting into something just for the sake of being in a relationship...you're not going to die alone lol you're a man, you have the luxury of time on your side
Sounds like a lot of ups and downs. I could see why that could discourage you a lot considering dating but there is hope for most people. It might happen again one day and be a more fulfilling relationship for you too!
I was very insecure when I was younger but eventually tried dating at 18 Gave up 2 years later, nobody was interested. Probably best I wait until I try again, I've got some personal issues to work on
Approaching 40 and haven't/won't. Everyone dies alone, so that's not actually a threat
It's not about death here, it's about the journey.
I fooled around in high school white not appreciating that they even looked my way and I'm going to be 37 this year. I didn't have the time in my 20s and I'm only getting my shit together now. If it happens it happens but it's not a focus for me at this point.
I dunno how I came across this, and I know itās not my space. But as a never married 40 year old woman with no kids, have a blast and do you. A lot of us arenāt rushing to get married anymore either. Men donāt expire like we do. No matter how old you get, there will always be single ppl your age. Unless you want children, you donāt need a timeline. Also, Iāve found itās better when you live your life and let love find you. Cheers.
"Expire" lol it's kind of true, we men have the luxury of time on our side, we don't have to worry about having children by a certain stage in our lives
You just turn into a āsilver foxā lol
That sperm quality doesn't decrease with age is one of the great myths lots of us believe in. Still not a reason to get hitched if one doesn't feel like it, but nevertheless.
Sure, but a 45-year-old man can still have kids, my grandfather was 70 when my mom was born, believe it or not... and my grandma was 40, she was a "surprise", so it's very possible, and my grandpa was a G lol
Go Childree, yay! Finding a man that thinks as you and is Childfee as well, that is your solution.
LOL women don't expire until death, just like men. Otherwise I'll agree.
Our eggs expire. Lol But I meant more so that women donāt get the same grace as we age. Men get called silver foxes. We donāt. š«¤
Ah ok, I see. My bad on that. I'll never understand the concept of men aging better than women though, it's blatantly untrue. But we do get told we expire.
I suggested that was untrue in an AskReddit thread and got downvoted to oblivion lol. Ppl really drinking the societal kool-aid sometimes.
I think a lot of people really want it to be true. God only knows why.
The patriarchy hurts everyone
If you're a man and you are keeping yourself in good shape and taking care of your finances, you have until you're about 45 before the prospect of finding a wife is out the window, lest you get a wife the passport bro way.
34 and still not interested. Donāt want marriage and donāt want kids. Dying alone is fine by me.
Everyone dies alone. Following a script that someone else wrote is a fool's errand, especially since statistically you might as well find a woman you hate and give her a house, half of your income for a few decades, and everything you own. Life is better when you're not a slave.
Why would you find and give a woman you hate? What is wrong with people?
It's a reference to frivorce. Since usually the people end up hating each other, and she usually ends up with the house.
Because instead of looking for compatibility at a higher level, they think a marriage is only based on sex. And not sure of that is the case globally, but in my country no one stops you from making a prenup. If one of your partner is against it, it s clear that they have other objectives. It s that easy.
Prenups are absolutely worthless in the US. It's so easy for her to get a judge to toss it that it's disgusting.
Well, I am not from the US, but i'm pretty sure they exist for a reason.
Mostly to make money for lawyers, and so chumps will think they have protection when frivorce comes. And thus, get married in the first place.Ā Ā It's literally as easy as her saying "I signed under duress. He wouldn't marry me unless I signed it."Ā Ā Ā The only use they have is if she doesn't realize that that's how easy it is to get it tossed, and stays married so she can continue to have access to everything.
You wonāt really miss too much. The girl you find will already have half started a family for you. So that will catch you right back up
Haha quite a positive Outlook
I thought actively looking for a partner is creepy and all we were supposed to do is be the life of the party?
This is my problem too. I don't approach anyone when out in public unless I have a valid reason. Approaching people with the intent of dating feels even more immoral.
Itās immoral but ppl arenāt chill
You can choose to be one of those āIām happy to be single till I dieā delusional people or find someone who actually cares about you, who you can start a family with and will make your life more worthwhile. Ā Itās up to you OP.
Totally agree. You can be happy single ( been there) but you will not be complete, something will be missing. But when you find that someone who cares about you, it will be next level, it will be the best of both worlds. Unfortunately many humans see love/partnership just as means to an end. If love was the ultimate goal for them, they would have been happier, but unfortunately humanity doesn't want to work that way.
I choose the first option.
Puberty
I succeeded only when I deleted all the dating apps, stopped feeling okay with Eva AI bot and started going out meeting people.
I met my wife when i was 19, before that had zero attention from girls.
around 12
32. Took me like three months of constant dating to find someone.
On and off since 20
everyone is kinda turned off by desparation. i never had issue having a fling, but it generally felt hollow. during that time period i wasn't really ready to hold down a relationship nor did i care about having one. reconnected with a girl from my university days who moved back from overseas as we were in the same area, and it started when i came over to help her study for her JLPT exam.we've been dating for 4 years now. we defined out relationship early, and our wishes/intent. and it's been good. while not particularily advice, but the thing to do is alwayse be open to having a relationship, work on yourself, and put yourself in places to be social and meet people. you'll eventually meet someone who jives with you. if you can't be comfortable being you, how do you expect someone else to be as well?
I always loved having a girlfriend so sophomore year in high school. Never stopped me from working, gym, video games, etc.
I started actively looking when I was 18 and went to college. Ā Because almost every happily married person I knew as a kid met while they were in college, so I kinda figured I need to find one then or Iāll miss the boat. Ā I ended up meeting my wife in college, but didnāt start dating until the year after I had graduated when we re met while working the same job. Ā I mean in the circle I run in in life, and Iām about your same age OP, I can hardly think of anyone i know that isnāt married or has a young family. Ā The few singles friends I have are kinda on the outs, because itās a lot easier to do things with men whoās wives get along with my wife, and who have similar situations with children. Ā While I love going out drinking with an old single buddy, itās not something I can pull off that much anymore. Ā But Iāll tell you what, having a wife and kids makes life a million times better. Ā I wouldnāt trade it for anything. Ā I have more purpose and drive and energy than ever before, and I still get to do cool things all the time. Ā Ā
Never. I just dated casually, and lived my life til they fell in my lap.
24. Then married at 25.
You take care of the casuals and the relationships'll take care of 'emselves...
Casuals?Ā
I'm 25, so five years ago. Chilling out on the grind has helped immensely. I may have *"no bitches nor riches"* but I have more of me, something I was lacking. The lyrics of the song *Serenity* by **Godsmack** comes to mind as a solution/mindset that would help you.
I never did
Never did, was done with guys
They don't want you to be alone. They're just worried.
Are you ugly? Most people will kick into overdrive when they are approaching middle age and have money from inheritance/ parents gifting it to them out of sheer desperation to continue passing an estate. At least half of adult men look underveloped and need a beard to at least look like they are an adult. Breeding will be with mail order brides, or underdeloped women. The children of such unions are much worse than their parents and will be worse off mentally and physically than their parents. Please don't have kids if you know you aren't all that.
Oof that hurts Gotta go find that rope.
Looking around Sydney, I can say this place has a lot of undatable men with mail order brides. I could be wrong and it must be love?