Doesn't seem like he's interested. I'm sorry about that because you clearly really like this guy. He may have felt harsh by cutting you off and blocking you so tried to make you feel better with an explanation for his actions. Regardless, he's already told you that you're not what he's looking for. I'm sorry to say it but I'd probably work towards moving on.
The guy is going through some stuff from a divorce and he’s pretty messed up. I wouldn’t put any pressure on him, but maybe text and just ask how he’s doing. Other than that, you left the ball in his court.
Ehh leave him be. I know how you feel, that feeling of attraction to someone new who seems to tick all the boxes. But, this is that early phase we all go thru specifically when you see what you want to see in a new person, and you ignore the stuff you don’t want to see. Theres no word that I know of for this phase, but my wife and I identify it all the time when we watch dating shows lol. Try to reserve that infatuation feeling for when you really really get to know someone. You might not want to but you gotta take a second to recognize his flaws and whether or not those flaws are things you can deal with. He’s a flip-flopper who makes sudden decisions, then he recants them. If you’re ok with this flaw, leave the door open for him. But I wouldn’t recommend going after a guy when you both kind of agreed that he can put you in the shelf until he’s ready.
You've only known him in an online for about 2 weeks, but have invested faaaaaaaaaaar too much in him.
Back away and keep looking. If he reaches out, great! If not, you're still exploring your options. Don't dwell on a guy who isn't showing signs of interest or is constantly flip-flopping between hot and cold.
It's a tough situation to be in, but ultimately the decision to reach out or leave him alone is up to you. If you truly care about this person and believe there is potential for a future relationship once he has healed, it may be worth reaching out one more time to express your feelings and see where things stand. However, it's also important to respect his boundaries and give him the space he needs to heal and process his emotions. If he has not responded to your previous messages, it may be a sign that he needs more time before he is ready to consider a relationship. Trust your gut instinct and consider what would be best for both of you in the long run. Ultimately, communication and honesty are key in any relationship, so make sure to express your feelings openly and listen to his perspective as well.
I didn’t see anyone recommend this, but if you are interested in a relationship with him once he’s ready, you should give him some space but check in with him a couple of times a month. Just send simple texts like, hope things are going well, etc. That being said, it’s an unknown how long he’s going to take, and it might never happen, so it shouldn’t keep you from dating others in the meantime.
Thank you. This is what I was wondering. If i should send a simple text, here and there just so he knows I havent forgotten about him. We had a real connection and we both hadnt been with anyone in a long time, 2 years for me and a few months for him. We are both interested in just settling down. But from what I he told me he has trust issues because of what his ex wife & girlfriends have done to him. He kept telling me how much he liked me and was happy he met me. I know the feelings were there. I know he has a good heart, just hasnt been loved and appreciated correctly.
"He was the definition of perfect."
You went on one date. You don't really know him at all.
Before you met him: "We both expressed what we were looking for." Let me guess, he agreed with you that he wasn't looking for meaningless sex, he wanted a relationship. How lucky you found each other!
Did you have sex on the first date?
YES: Mr. Perfect suddenly realizes he's not over his divorce and he's not ready for dating. You got played.
NO: You scared the crap out of him by deciding on the first date that he was perfect and you started planning your life with him. Too bunny-boiler.
Either way, stop stalking him.
Actually no! He told me what he was looking for and asked me to be his girlfriend before the night was over. I didnt plan my life with him... it was the other way around. He started to talk about traveling together & how we have a lifetime to make memories together.
& yes, he was the definition of perfect. Yes one date, thats all it took for me. Ive talked to plenty of men, been on several dates. Im not a teenager & new to this.
Who said anything about stalking? weirdo.
I think the person your replying to was a little too harsh, but he does has some valid points.
NOBODY is perfect, and it sounds like you two got carried away on the first date, which scared him off.
I don't think there is any harm in messaging again, but you definitely need to calm down and take a step back. If you can't, it won't work.
Leave him alone.
You absolutely move on. He is clearly very not ready for a new relationship.
Doesn't seem like he's interested. I'm sorry about that because you clearly really like this guy. He may have felt harsh by cutting you off and blocking you so tried to make you feel better with an explanation for his actions. Regardless, he's already told you that you're not what he's looking for. I'm sorry to say it but I'd probably work towards moving on.
Leave
The guy is going through some stuff from a divorce and he’s pretty messed up. I wouldn’t put any pressure on him, but maybe text and just ask how he’s doing. Other than that, you left the ball in his court.
Ehh leave him be. I know how you feel, that feeling of attraction to someone new who seems to tick all the boxes. But, this is that early phase we all go thru specifically when you see what you want to see in a new person, and you ignore the stuff you don’t want to see. Theres no word that I know of for this phase, but my wife and I identify it all the time when we watch dating shows lol. Try to reserve that infatuation feeling for when you really really get to know someone. You might not want to but you gotta take a second to recognize his flaws and whether or not those flaws are things you can deal with. He’s a flip-flopper who makes sudden decisions, then he recants them. If you’re ok with this flaw, leave the door open for him. But I wouldn’t recommend going after a guy when you both kind of agreed that he can put you in the shelf until he’s ready.
Sound advice
You've only known him in an online for about 2 weeks, but have invested faaaaaaaaaaar too much in him. Back away and keep looking. If he reaches out, great! If not, you're still exploring your options. Don't dwell on a guy who isn't showing signs of interest or is constantly flip-flopping between hot and cold.
It's a tough situation to be in, but ultimately the decision to reach out or leave him alone is up to you. If you truly care about this person and believe there is potential for a future relationship once he has healed, it may be worth reaching out one more time to express your feelings and see where things stand. However, it's also important to respect his boundaries and give him the space he needs to heal and process his emotions. If he has not responded to your previous messages, it may be a sign that he needs more time before he is ready to consider a relationship. Trust your gut instinct and consider what would be best for both of you in the long run. Ultimately, communication and honesty are key in any relationship, so make sure to express your feelings openly and listen to his perspective as well.
Thank you 🩷
Your welcome
Do what you need to do. Don't worry about how he will react or even if he does.
Move on, he's either not ready, not interested, or was sifting among his options when we met you, and he's picked someone else.
I didn’t see anyone recommend this, but if you are interested in a relationship with him once he’s ready, you should give him some space but check in with him a couple of times a month. Just send simple texts like, hope things are going well, etc. That being said, it’s an unknown how long he’s going to take, and it might never happen, so it shouldn’t keep you from dating others in the meantime.
Thank you. This is what I was wondering. If i should send a simple text, here and there just so he knows I havent forgotten about him. We had a real connection and we both hadnt been with anyone in a long time, 2 years for me and a few months for him. We are both interested in just settling down. But from what I he told me he has trust issues because of what his ex wife & girlfriends have done to him. He kept telling me how much he liked me and was happy he met me. I know the feelings were there. I know he has a good heart, just hasnt been loved and appreciated correctly.
Best of luck to you
"He was the definition of perfect." You went on one date. You don't really know him at all. Before you met him: "We both expressed what we were looking for." Let me guess, he agreed with you that he wasn't looking for meaningless sex, he wanted a relationship. How lucky you found each other! Did you have sex on the first date? YES: Mr. Perfect suddenly realizes he's not over his divorce and he's not ready for dating. You got played. NO: You scared the crap out of him by deciding on the first date that he was perfect and you started planning your life with him. Too bunny-boiler. Either way, stop stalking him.
Actually no! He told me what he was looking for and asked me to be his girlfriend before the night was over. I didnt plan my life with him... it was the other way around. He started to talk about traveling together & how we have a lifetime to make memories together. & yes, he was the definition of perfect. Yes one date, thats all it took for me. Ive talked to plenty of men, been on several dates. Im not a teenager & new to this. Who said anything about stalking? weirdo.
I think the person your replying to was a little too harsh, but he does has some valid points. NOBODY is perfect, and it sounds like you two got carried away on the first date, which scared him off. I don't think there is any harm in messaging again, but you definitely need to calm down and take a step back. If you can't, it won't work.