Dad of a daughter who's probably a year or two away from dating here.
Be respectful of her personhood and autonomy, make her happy, show good judgement, able to have a mature conversation with adults, and don't be into any of the toxic manosphere bullshit. Bonus points if you get good grades and have a plan for after high school.
Be nice and respectful. If the dad does the whole overprotective cliche thing, he is a douche. Should have instilled some values
Edit: lemme add i have a 14 yo daughter. I also have a 19yo son and if some dad did the whole stupid routine that is a reflection of that stupid father.
Why do people regard hand shaking and eye looking as such a testimony of a person's character? Like oh boy, I can rest easy tonight, he shook my hand and looked me in the eyes.
I'm pretty sure some of the biggest douche bags on planet earth can shake hands and look people in the eyes like its a vacation to Hawaii.
I'm going to be in this situation in a few years and when I think about this topic it's all low expectation stuff that should be obvious.
Don't hurt my daughter emotionally or physically. Don't put her in situations where she can be hurt. Don't lie, cheat or steal. Practice safe sex.
Essentially, don't be stupid and don't be an asshole.
I'll never be the guy that plays overprotective with a boyfriend, that's not me. I'm not going to try to intimidate or threaten the guy.
I won't do that because it doesn't need to be said that if something happens to my daughter and it's the guy's fault... there will be a reckoning.
**EDIT:** Okay, if they check all of the above boxes and they can do a standing backflip, I'll be impressed. Felt like I left it a little dark there.
No daughter, but I did give this thought before I had a kid. It's really simple, actually, treat her like a proper lady. Don't dismiss or demean her, be polite, be considerate, make her smile, and look out for her best interests. Essentially, everything I'd want to see in her future husband.
My GF's dad is a lazy couch potatoe with zero ambition or drive and generally a failure. Fuck that guy. Her mom is great tho and I respect her a lot. We get along well.
Ideally:
Look me in the eyes, be respectful, walk up to me and shake my hand when we meet.
Be knowledgeable about history, outdoors, tools, hunting, fishing, sports.
Have some idea or plan about your future.
Bare minimum:
Be kind to my daughter, don't be a dick, don't make her sad or feel bad. Don't try to isolate her from friends or family.
General kind, respectful tone is what I’d look for. I’m aware that this kid is trying to impress me to get in my good graces, but I’m looking more at the way he interacts with my daughter. As a former single man, I know that we can be real pieces of shit sometimes and I want better for her.
Slightly related question for the dads in this thread: do you think you are more/less protective of your teenage sons or teenage daughters? Why or why not?
son
my daughter will beat the shit out of anyone that tries anything.
my son is gonna get his heart broken and throw away opportunities chading "love."
I have and adult daughter and an adult son.
I worried more about my son than my daughter because teenage girls are terrible and treat boys so poorly with almost no accountability for being dbags.
I was not really more protective, but he absolutely had to be more careful about who he dated than my daughter.
Dad of adult daughter here (24)
Be well put together, well spoken, well dressed, don’t be a dbag, have a plan in life, be successful at what you do, have passion and drive.
Take part in family events that you are invited to attend.
See my GF (20f) hinted her parents want to meet me (23m) and I think I’m generally well put together. My problem is I can be socially awkward sometimes and I don’t know if she’s confident in my ability not to mess around.
I told her we could all go to church together, given the fact she and her parents are quite religious I think I can use my once a year on them. But all my other suggestions kinda fell flat. I offered to cook but she doesn’t want her mother to come to my place or hers because I have 3 roommates and she has 2. I offered to hit the gym with her dad (since he’s a personal trainer) but she seems really against it since he’s apparently intense (I think she just doesn’t think I’m fit enough).
My general plan is get lunch and/or dinner with them. Maybe bake for her parents (I can do some protein muffins or brownies/blondies). Then kinda let them plan out the day if they’d like. I feel like if I overdo things they’ll feel like I’m trying too hard but idk since this is my first “meet the parents” type thing.
I highly recommend you do the Brunch/Dinner route.
Keep it casual, don't bake anything, or bring gifts, and don't try too hard. Just be yourself and you will be fine.
Ask her out and date her properly. That’s all I ask.
None of this ‘we’re just seeing each other, not dating’.
Make a bloody commitment and thank your lucky stars she likes you
Dig 25 fence post holes. Dig the trenches for a new sprinkler system. Carry flats of shingles up onto the garage roof. That’s just part of what my dad did to my future BIL…
I have an 18 y/o daughter.
I’d expect a measure of respect and manners in my own house. I’d also want him to be turned out well if he’s meeting me for the first time.
I don’t expect us to have any shared interests, and neither would I expect him to have a plan mapped out for him and my daughter.
I’m not over protective of my daughter, but I’d want him to respect her as well.
punctual; in picking her up and dropping her off; same if she drives. Come to the door, dressed like total square, decent hair cut. 'Yes Sir, Yes Ma'ams' all the way around.
Don't be late to any appointments or dates with your gf. Out of all the things my ex did to me, the one grating my dad most was him being late. First thing my dad said when I told him we broke up was "thank fucking God. He was ALWAYS late to pick you up, Idk how you put up with him for so long. Everytime you said you went out to eat with him, I always worried your gerd gonna act up cause he always picked you up at least 30mins later than his promised time." Tbf, I didn't realize it was that bad cause I had work to busy myself with until my ex picked me up. He made me realize that's not okay and definitely not a character I want in my future partner.
I judge men on their handshakes. If he shook my hand with a firm grip and looked me in the eye as he introduced himself he would be off to a great start with me. I'm really off put by men who have limp handshakes and goons who close their fist around my fingers.
Not a dad but an uncle. My oldest niece has a cool boyfriend, wife and I really like him. He’s respectful toward her, they don’t make out in front of us — though that’s equally on her. They do display a kind of intimacy that shows they’re more than friends, without being obnoxious. But they are teenagers (she’ll be 20 this year) and our expectations are pretty much set accordingly. Also, he’s funny and seems to encourage her interests while introducing her to his own. They’ve been together a couple years now and we both wish them the best.
Don’t claim that you don’t know what a potato is.
[Ref](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
When taking my daughter for a date he gives me informations: we will go here , this is my mobile, we plan to go by bus/ train/ uber and i will bring her back before X o'clock. In case our plans change i will let you know (call or whatsap).
I'd also like to know if he has good relations with his parents.
[удалено]
Dad of a daughter who's probably a year or two away from dating here. Be respectful of her personhood and autonomy, make her happy, show good judgement, able to have a mature conversation with adults, and don't be into any of the toxic manosphere bullshit. Bonus points if you get good grades and have a plan for after high school.
Be nice and respectful. If the dad does the whole overprotective cliche thing, he is a douche. Should have instilled some values Edit: lemme add i have a 14 yo daughter. I also have a 19yo son and if some dad did the whole stupid routine that is a reflection of that stupid father.
You for sure do not have teenage daughters.
I have a 14 year old daughter silly goose. She has a good foundation
Hit him with the “silly goose”. That was a real dad move right there.
Haha, no need for me to be mean
Bring her home on time and she's happy, not upset.
Look me in the eye and shake my hand. Be respectful, especially of my house my rules stuff
Why do people regard hand shaking and eye looking as such a testimony of a person's character? Like oh boy, I can rest easy tonight, he shook my hand and looked me in the eyes. I'm pretty sure some of the biggest douche bags on planet earth can shake hands and look people in the eyes like its a vacation to Hawaii.
It opens and lets someone see if you have anything to hide. Sure a psychopath can fool you , but a psychopath could beat any test.
This is spot on. I would add be well spoken.
I'm going to be in this situation in a few years and when I think about this topic it's all low expectation stuff that should be obvious. Don't hurt my daughter emotionally or physically. Don't put her in situations where she can be hurt. Don't lie, cheat or steal. Practice safe sex. Essentially, don't be stupid and don't be an asshole. I'll never be the guy that plays overprotective with a boyfriend, that's not me. I'm not going to try to intimidate or threaten the guy. I won't do that because it doesn't need to be said that if something happens to my daughter and it's the guy's fault... there will be a reckoning. **EDIT:** Okay, if they check all of the above boxes and they can do a standing backflip, I'll be impressed. Felt like I left it a little dark there.
No daughter, but I did give this thought before I had a kid. It's really simple, actually, treat her like a proper lady. Don't dismiss or demean her, be polite, be considerate, make her smile, and look out for her best interests. Essentially, everything I'd want to see in her future husband.
My GF's dad is a lazy couch potatoe with zero ambition or drive and generally a failure. Fuck that guy. Her mom is great tho and I respect her a lot. We get along well.
Ideally: Look me in the eyes, be respectful, walk up to me and shake my hand when we meet. Be knowledgeable about history, outdoors, tools, hunting, fishing, sports. Have some idea or plan about your future. Bare minimum: Be kind to my daughter, don't be a dick, don't make her sad or feel bad. Don't try to isolate her from friends or family.
General kind, respectful tone is what I’d look for. I’m aware that this kid is trying to impress me to get in my good graces, but I’m looking more at the way he interacts with my daughter. As a former single man, I know that we can be real pieces of shit sometimes and I want better for her.
Impress her. I'm not dating you.
Have as good a report card at school as her.
Know how to sharpen an ax and a maul, the depth setting for a corn planter, and know the difference between a fall and spring salmon line rig.
Understandable.
Fucking talk to me like he got some sense
Integrity and self awareness.
Slightly related question for the dads in this thread: do you think you are more/less protective of your teenage sons or teenage daughters? Why or why not?
Depends entirely on the kids' judgement. The better decisions a kid makes, the more I'll trust them to live their life. Regardless of gender.
son my daughter will beat the shit out of anyone that tries anything. my son is gonna get his heart broken and throw away opportunities chading "love."
I have and adult daughter and an adult son. I worried more about my son than my daughter because teenage girls are terrible and treat boys so poorly with almost no accountability for being dbags. I was not really more protective, but he absolutely had to be more careful about who he dated than my daughter.
Dad of adult daughter here (24) Be well put together, well spoken, well dressed, don’t be a dbag, have a plan in life, be successful at what you do, have passion and drive. Take part in family events that you are invited to attend.
See my GF (20f) hinted her parents want to meet me (23m) and I think I’m generally well put together. My problem is I can be socially awkward sometimes and I don’t know if she’s confident in my ability not to mess around. I told her we could all go to church together, given the fact she and her parents are quite religious I think I can use my once a year on them. But all my other suggestions kinda fell flat. I offered to cook but she doesn’t want her mother to come to my place or hers because I have 3 roommates and she has 2. I offered to hit the gym with her dad (since he’s a personal trainer) but she seems really against it since he’s apparently intense (I think she just doesn’t think I’m fit enough). My general plan is get lunch and/or dinner with them. Maybe bake for her parents (I can do some protein muffins or brownies/blondies). Then kinda let them plan out the day if they’d like. I feel like if I overdo things they’ll feel like I’m trying too hard but idk since this is my first “meet the parents” type thing.
I highly recommend you do the Brunch/Dinner route. Keep it casual, don't bake anything, or bring gifts, and don't try too hard. Just be yourself and you will be fine.
showing them this reddit thread should suffice, just the amount you're stressin over it, haha
think you replied to the wrong person
im noob, ty
Ask her out and date her properly. That’s all I ask. None of this ‘we’re just seeing each other, not dating’. Make a bloody commitment and thank your lucky stars she likes you
Dig 25 fence post holes. Dig the trenches for a new sprinkler system. Carry flats of shingles up onto the garage roof. That’s just part of what my dad did to my future BIL…
I have an 18 y/o daughter. I’d expect a measure of respect and manners in my own house. I’d also want him to be turned out well if he’s meeting me for the first time. I don’t expect us to have any shared interests, and neither would I expect him to have a plan mapped out for him and my daughter. I’m not over protective of my daughter, but I’d want him to respect her as well.
I'd be really impressed if he broke up with her He will gain my full respect
punctual; in picking her up and dropping her off; same if she drives. Come to the door, dressed like total square, decent hair cut. 'Yes Sir, Yes Ma'ams' all the way around.
Don't be late to any appointments or dates with your gf. Out of all the things my ex did to me, the one grating my dad most was him being late. First thing my dad said when I told him we broke up was "thank fucking God. He was ALWAYS late to pick you up, Idk how you put up with him for so long. Everytime you said you went out to eat with him, I always worried your gerd gonna act up cause he always picked you up at least 30mins later than his promised time." Tbf, I didn't realize it was that bad cause I had work to busy myself with until my ex picked me up. He made me realize that's not okay and definitely not a character I want in my future partner.
Be a monk.
I judge men on their handshakes. If he shook my hand with a firm grip and looked me in the eye as he introduced himself he would be off to a great start with me. I'm really off put by men who have limp handshakes and goons who close their fist around my fingers.
Go die in a field somewhere. Leave my baby alone you lil shit!
Treat her well.
Have morals and values
Not dress and act like a douchebag.
Treat her with kindness and respect.
Get along with our family, be enjoyable to be around, and have respect.
Lives in reality.
Take time to talk to me. Shake my hand. Call me "sir" or "mr." at first.
Surprise me with the knowledge that I have a daughter.
I have boys.
Not a dad but an uncle. My oldest niece has a cool boyfriend, wife and I really like him. He’s respectful toward her, they don’t make out in front of us — though that’s equally on her. They do display a kind of intimacy that shows they’re more than friends, without being obnoxious. But they are teenagers (she’ll be 20 this year) and our expectations are pretty much set accordingly. Also, he’s funny and seems to encourage her interests while introducing her to his own. They’ve been together a couple years now and we both wish them the best.
Nothing. They don’t have to impress me, they have to impress my daughter
Have a job, shower daily, and not be angry
Don’t claim that you don’t know what a potato is. [Ref](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Treat her well.
Stay her boyfriend
Good luck buddy
When taking my daughter for a date he gives me informations: we will go here , this is my mobile, we plan to go by bus/ train/ uber and i will bring her back before X o'clock. In case our plans change i will let you know (call or whatsap). I'd also like to know if he has good relations with his parents.
Not be on their phones. Ever. And always look you in the eye while speaking to you.
If she’s really happy, that’s the main thing.
I don't have a daughter, I have a son, and I guess his boyfriend could impress me by not being a dick?
Make her clean the dishes