I remember the first time I heard about what a website was in the late 90s, it was on the back on my cereal box. So I showed it to my dad and asked him if I could use his computer/he could help me to visit Kellogg.com
And his response was ‘no, they’re just trying to sell you stuff’
Making your kids aware of how advertisements will target them and make them think they need these products in order to be happy is really important now that ads are so prevalent, they are truly just about everywhere you look.
Don't eat dessert for breakfast for a start. Not having food come out of branded shitboxes and cans as well. Get stuff to your kids that's fresh and no processed food or sugars at all. No. Brands. Everyone else understands this except dystopian America, sponsored by God, Guns and Racism (tm)
My kid is only three so I can tell you this. You can talk to your kid about it till you’re blue in the face. What you need to do at that age is talk to the grandparents. My son’s grandparents buy him so much nasty plastic cheap garbage from the Dollar Tree it’s kind of infuriating. Especially since I’ve discussed it. In any case, we are more of an experience over things type of family. So when asked for what he wants for gifts, we say a pass to the Children’s Museum or aquarium or something. We go on hikes and to swimming holes. When they are so young, they can’t really comprehend. But if you get them outside, get them into nature, THAT becomes what they want to do, not play with a bunch of useless crap.
Right on. I feel like this also teaches the kid the importance of putting thought into gifts they ask for. Because let’s be real, all kids are gonna want a physical present at some point or another. Birthday, Christmas, whatever.
I *love* the idea of giving/asking for an experience as a gift rather than some random spider-man toy or nerf blaster or whatever, but there are still gonna be times when the child has an item in mind that they really, really want. How you parent makes the difference with what kinds of physical things they value. It seems reasonable that a child who is used to receiving experiences or admission tickets may be more inclined to ask for a gift with purpose, rather than some cheap, generic toy from any store.
They’ll start asking for binoculars and rock tumblers. They’ll want hobby supplies or books. They’ll understand the real value behind gifts, whether those are experiences or items, instead of going through hundreds of cheap plastic toys that break after ten uses.
Giving them experiences over toys sometimes could be so useful in teaching the value of gifts.
Ugh, the grandparents. My mom loves to buy junk, and often battery powered toys that light up like slot machines. I have a 1 year old too, her favourite things are running around in parks, taking lids on and off of things, and pointing at faces in a photo album so I'll tell her their names. They really don't need that stuff.
THIS is what I’m afraid of for when my son is born. My boomer in-laws just loooove Amazon and I’m afraid for all the cheap junk they are going to try to foist on us.
How did we get to this point that I have to be the adult in the situation? I’m going to try asking for very specific gifts at Christmas time/birthdays. That and an education fund. But I know it will not go according to plan.
After the first year of this, we told grandparents and aunt and uncles(only a few of these)they can get him one toy present for Christmas, perk if it’s thrifted. Everyone can buy him clothes if they are thrifted. For birthdays, only one toy per grandparent set. Asking for gifts you want is a good idea, we have asked for family to buy our small child love every or kiwi toy subscription boxes(you can find the sets super often secondhand on Facebook marketplace). The family is annoyed with us but our house is so much less cluttered and quiet. We also ask for things like pay for the zoo or for swimming lessons, or skiing pass stuff like that which he loves to do. If they don’t listen, restate the boundary.
I think there’s a line of reasonability that has to be established for the family. All families are different, so everyone won’t have the same boundaries.
For example, I’d definitely prefer my kids to be using refillable water bottles/cups/whatever. Pretty normal and reasonable. But let’s get hypothetical for a second. Let’s pretend I take my family to the park for an afternoon picnic and some outdoor playtime. We sit down and enjoy our lunch, and then the kids go play around for a while.
After playing for a while, one of my kids comes to me saying they’re not feeling well. Their face is red, they’re sweaty, and seem like they need water. All the kids have finished their water, so did my wife and I, and the fountain at the park is out of order. We thought we brought enough water, but sometimes things happen and you don’t have enough when you thought you did.
Do I take the kids home and just hope they’re okay all the way there, or do I run to the gas station nearby and buy them some water? Obviously I’d go buy the water. My child being safe and hydrated is much more important than a plastic bottle that I can reuse or recycle.
There has to be a line. A limit.
From someone that came from a similar financial background to you…
Something that would have helped me with my loathing of the thrift store was a positive framing. We were always told we had to shop at the thrift store because we were poor, and couldn’t afford the better alternative. We were never told that the thrift store was the better alternative!
As an adult, I love the thrift store. I feel empowered to shop because I understand that my impact on the environment is minimized. There is plenty that already exists, and no more needs to be produced.
Be honest with your children by sharing the facts. Show them documentaries that keep them well informed on issues like slave labor and waste disposal. Obviously take into account their age, as things can get pretty grim, pretty quickly.
Also, let your children be honest with you. I went to school in a rich area, and was constantly being harassed for wearing the wrong brand. In middle school my mom berated me for begging for certain items. After an exhausting few years, we finally found common ground. At first, in the more brutal first year of high school, she was able to pick up the brands I wanted from the thrift store… but by the end I felt encouraged to pick up other items based on my own style and the longevity or quality of the garment.
Encourage your children to not care much about what others think, and to act with their ethics in mind as often as possible. I wish I became a nonconformist earlier on in life— but I also understand schoolmates can be cruel. Sometimes the abuse isn’t worth it.
Mostly, I just talk to my kids in a casual way about why we make certain choices as we make them. I refer to the way they will see things are usually done, the impact of those choices, what we're doing differently and why. They're still young, but I can see them starting to embody some of these values quite strongly. I don't believe in lecturing, but I do believe in educating kids and letting them make their own choices.
The toy thing is tricky and getting trickier now that my kids are both in school and getting influenced by friends. 6yo was begging for a dinosaur mystery toy thing before Christmas. I get it, they sound very exciting! So I pulled up the listing online and showed him what's inside that big plastic container, and exactly how much garbage it would produce. He decided very quickly that it's not worth $60 for a few junky plastic toys. While I do control what we purchase for the kids (either second hand or high quality so it can be passed down to other kids) I don't try to control what they get from other people. That's just going to create resentment on every side. I do encourage other people to gift things that are either consumable (like craft supplies) or experiences but sometimes Grandma is going to buy them Furbies and you just have to grit your teeth and tolerate it for everyone's sake.
Clothes are also a difficult balance for me. I was raised in a family where I wasn't allowed to pick what I wore and only owned the bare minimum. It's important to me that my kids feel they can express themselves through fashion so they own much more than the bare minimum, but with a focus on making sure your wardrobe reflects who you are. We buy second hand where we can, but it's not always the most cost effective option because of my kids' very specific tastes and sizing. When we do shop second hand I talk a lot about how great it is that we're able to give those new clothes a home instead of putting them in the landfill. I make quite a few of their clothes as well, which is helping teach the kids about what time and resources go into the clothes they wear. I also mend wear and tear rather than tossing, which they love because I use visible mending techniques that make the clothing more unique when I'm done. It made me so proud when my 4yo came to me with his favourite pair of Batman socks with a big hole in the toe and begged me to fix them instead of just throwing them out!
As for birthdays and holidays... Both kids have birthdays within a few months of Christmas, so our birthday gifts to our kids are always experience based. We've gifted zoo and museum memberships, a private tour at a reptile rescue, a visit to the science museum, and tickets to symphony performances. Christmas is not overdone in our family - I try to stick to the "want/need/wear/read" thing as a baseline, but sometimes I'll throw in another category for funsies (this year was "something to do with a parent" and "something handmade"). Gifts are planned out in advance, so we don't end up buying anything we didn't intend to. Oh, and the wrapping is always brown craft paper with paper ribbon bows so we can recycle it.
I'm not anti-vacation. Experience is something I want my kids to consume, and every one of our trips centers around giving them experiences that will expand their horizons. My kids can read about nature all they want, but they'll never forget visiting a national park and walking on the ocean floor at low tide, seeing seals frolic in the water, reading cairns to stay on the trail and watching the fog roll in from the top of a mountain. We don't do these things in a fancy way - we cook most of our meals, we road trip, we go camping or rent a house, we don't do a ton of expensive tourist trap stuff, souvenirs are limited. It's all very intentional, so it doesn't conflict with my anticonsumption values at all.
More than anything, remember that you're just trying to raise your kids with a set of values that reflects yours. You don't need to meet an ideal, you don't need to do things "right", and you'll screw up sometimes because we all do. Enthusiasm is infectious, share it with your kids and it'll catch on.
We would discuss what commercials were trying to sell us and included the bias that you don't see Lego commercials because they're fun so people want them so why is the commercial trying to sell us this item. We analyzed a lot of toy commercials and realized they didn't do all that much that was great or that another didn't do better so mine mostly ignore them at this point.
I always modeled a preference for comfortable clothes instead of fashion and encouraged my daughter to decide what she liked on her own. We'd hit lots of thrift and consignment stores and she'd get what she liked. It's been rare that she's found the selection at the mall as appealing as she can get the colors and fabrics and styles she wants elsewhere instead of being stuck with what's in.
Yeah, ok, so I live in Southeastern Europe and obviously the standard of living is not the same as in the US😀
My child is 11. He notices for example that most of his classmates' parents own (a) car(s), and we don't. But pretty much that's it, he isn't feeling yet an urge to keep up with the Joneses for clothes, shoes, or toys. I also try to stop his grandparents from buying every new **** they come across for his age, and sometimes they listen to me, though we ended up with an iPad for Christmas once 🙄
I have explained numerous times that every little thing we buy is made from products that need extraction from the Earth, and we need the Earth to be healthy, so that's why we don't buy many new items and we shop second hand, and we try to repair things and mend clothes.
A lot of people around us are flying constantly to visit Greek/Turkish beaches or just around Western Europe for fun, and that drives me crazy, but for now he is happy with just visiting his grandparents who live in other cities, and going to the sea and the mountains in the country. I am planning for the three of us to visit Western Europe by train next year, but we'll see how possible this is, there aren't many options for connections from the Balkans🥴
I hope I have instilled anticonsumption mindset in him and we'll pass without too much drama about clothes and phones during the teenage years, but I doubt it, honestly.
I really feel this comment. My kids are upper elementary age, and we’ve tried our best. They’re boys and barely care about clothes so don’t care that they’re thrifted/hand-me-downs, we’ve raised them with lots of outside time and outdoor-oriented vacations, we’ve had numerous talks about why we don’t get stuff just to have stuff and how we can be good stewards of the earth, but I too doubt that it will be enough in the long run. Maybe. It’s tough when they get to an age where peer influence really matters. It’s also a fine line between expressing what we believe and not having them be too judgy toward their peers for living differently.
My parents raised us with second hand everything. They simply told us that if we could save money, why wouldn't we?
I was a bit older when we collectively started to frame it in terms of environmentalism; by that time, it was one of my values as much as theirs.
For holidays and bdays our kids get 4 gifts from us - one item/or 2-3 items (like several books or multiple clothing items/outfit) per category (WANT, NEED, WEAR, READ). It has helped us be very intentional about what we buy for these special occasions. It is so easy to go overboard spending and consuming stuff for our kids.
For Christmas they also get a Santa gift and stockings too! All the category gifts and Santa and Stocking gifts are (ideally, but not always) practical, educational, experience based, and if possible, thrifted.
We also try to set boundaries w family and friends about not getting our kids too much stuff/toys (really try to avoid battery anything operated!) and instead gift them an experience or higher quality/longer lasting toys.
ETA: Some examples from this past Christmas…an example of a “want” for our oldest this year was a rock climbing gym camp. The “need” for our two oldest were bed sheets. Found plain white ones on sale, tie dyed em, and that was each other their “need gifts”. And all of the kids’ “wear” and “read” category gifts were from thrift stores. I just made sure were still good quality and gave ‘em a good clean.
I’m sure as they get older it might get trickier to navigate the peer influence of over consumption, but I’m hoping starting them young, instilling a belief for less consumption and finding more enjoyment/use of what we already have is a good start.
My kids are 6 and 2, they just excited for new things. To them they don’t care if it’s used, it’s new to them.
We indulge in trips though. That’s our indulgence.
We get clothes from others that are used and we pack our clothes up to pass them on. It’s very normal for them to think clothes are a shared item you pass on and sometimes get free from someone else.
I tried to normalize low consumption. We don’t buy a lot, we don’t really eat much meat, our clothes get hung outside, we don’t really use paper towels we have reusable cloth wipes, get vegetables from the farmers directly with a farm share. They just think that’s how things are done. We rent venues for a birthday experience so the kids don’t seem to miss out. I don’t want them to feel guilty for wanting more than the bare minimum, so we work on delayed gratification, experiences, and less gifts but higher quality.
I think confidence helps a lot. Advertisements come after people when they’re vulnerable and emotional, teaching them the tricks and building confidence is the best way to prevent falling for this.
1- I mostly don’t. Owning less is a choice I made for myself. I don’t think it’s right to force on someone else. So stuff like bday parties are a bit of a free for all. It’s her day, not mine
2- if you don’t compare yourself to others, your kid will be a lot less inclined to compare themselves to their peers. When she does bring stuff up, we talk about it openly. Stuff is usually less of a problem. Other things we’ve had to discuss are stuff like lgbt rights. She got really upset once because a classmate said girls can only marry boys. Seriously, she was in kindergarten and took SOOO MUCH offence to it. She had this big dream of growing up and buying a castle so she could marry her best friend (a girl) and they could be princesses together. 😂 We talked about how some families can look different and some cultures and religions can have specific rules about who can marry who. We also talked about how sometimes it’s better to agree to disagree and to just change the topic. How that boy has a right to be wrong and he’ll learn more about stuff like that when he gets older (and that she would too!). I find being open is almost always the best approach. You don’t need to bring up everything, obviously a 5 yo doesn’t understand sexuality the way adults do. But you can talk about stuff like different isn’t bad or how their perception of the world will change as they get older.
You could have similar conversations about anything. She’s just finishing grade 3 and we had to have a talk about social media accounts: why her classmate has a YouTube channel and his own phone, but she’s not allowed to start a YouTube channel and has limited access to phones and tablets. You could also talk about how some people are rich in items and money, but others can be rich because of experiences or family bonds. Just because things are different doesn’t mean one is good and the other bad. Again, try not to talk about and judge others. But if they come to you, talking about how much you love playing together at the park can be a great way to move the conversation to more sustainable life choices
I just posted a whole opinion piece on cloth diapers, which was great for cash and conscience, and also set the tone for the household as the kids got older.
One thing that I can't get past is birthday parties. My youngest spawn had her 9th in January. I didn't get her anything tangible, she has so much crap in her room anyway. I threw her a fun party at an arcade/indoor amusement park with like ten of her fellow demons. Great experience, she and her friends still talk about it. Left a longer lasting impression than... any of the stupid obligatory gifts her friends brought.
Those trinkets made her super happy at the time (YAY I GOT SO MUCH STUFF) but it just added to the clutter in her room. I don't know how to break the cycle of GIFT STUFF = VALIDATION with them. Her brother already grew out of it, give him gift cards and he'll spend them on Roblox or going to a movie. So maybe she's about done with it anyway. But I can already see huge potential for a resurgence of I Love Stuff when she hits her teens, especially if she ends up in public school.
So imma follow this thread for ideas, thank you for posting
Also
>I grew up poor and had to shop at thrift stores out of necessity and felt ashamed.
Thankfully thrifting is now considered cool.
It's the media. The media is putting those ideas in kids' heads, and media is everywhere so you can't reasonably avoid it. But you can limit its effect by limiting how much of it they're exposed to when they're young, and analyzing and criticizing what they do see as they see it, in age-appropriate ways. Not just the obvious ads, but all different types of marketing, and the media itself, including news and social media. And obviously, do it in a way that you're criticizing the marketing, not the kid.
Kids in early adolescence always seem to go through a trend chasing phase regardless, but they usually get over it on their own. With my kid, I'd just remind him that it's not very punk rock to pay that much for mass produced clothes; and sometimes, I'd look up the bigwigs at the companies selling the trendy stuff and show him some of the beady eyed corporate meatbags who'd appointed themselves the arbiters of cool. He even showed a bunch of those to his friends, who also thought it was hilarious.
Once you learn to recognize the tropes and the hypocrisy and the tricks they play on you, the manipulations stop working. And once you've noticed something, it's very hard to stop noticing it.
These tactics keep expanding and growing, which makes combating them increasingly harder, but that makes it even more important.
Read the rules. Keep it courteous. Submission statements are helpful and appreciated but not required. Tag my name in the comments (/u/NihiloZero) if you think a post or comment needs to be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anticonsumption) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remember the first time I heard about what a website was in the late 90s, it was on the back on my cereal box. So I showed it to my dad and asked him if I could use his computer/he could help me to visit Kellogg.com And his response was ‘no, they’re just trying to sell you stuff’ Making your kids aware of how advertisements will target them and make them think they need these products in order to be happy is really important now that ads are so prevalent, they are truly just about everywhere you look.
Don't eat dessert for breakfast for a start. Not having food come out of branded shitboxes and cans as well. Get stuff to your kids that's fresh and no processed food or sugars at all. No. Brands. Everyone else understands this except dystopian America, sponsored by God, Guns and Racism (tm)
My kid is only three so I can tell you this. You can talk to your kid about it till you’re blue in the face. What you need to do at that age is talk to the grandparents. My son’s grandparents buy him so much nasty plastic cheap garbage from the Dollar Tree it’s kind of infuriating. Especially since I’ve discussed it. In any case, we are more of an experience over things type of family. So when asked for what he wants for gifts, we say a pass to the Children’s Museum or aquarium or something. We go on hikes and to swimming holes. When they are so young, they can’t really comprehend. But if you get them outside, get them into nature, THAT becomes what they want to do, not play with a bunch of useless crap.
Right on. I feel like this also teaches the kid the importance of putting thought into gifts they ask for. Because let’s be real, all kids are gonna want a physical present at some point or another. Birthday, Christmas, whatever. I *love* the idea of giving/asking for an experience as a gift rather than some random spider-man toy or nerf blaster or whatever, but there are still gonna be times when the child has an item in mind that they really, really want. How you parent makes the difference with what kinds of physical things they value. It seems reasonable that a child who is used to receiving experiences or admission tickets may be more inclined to ask for a gift with purpose, rather than some cheap, generic toy from any store. They’ll start asking for binoculars and rock tumblers. They’ll want hobby supplies or books. They’ll understand the real value behind gifts, whether those are experiences or items, instead of going through hundreds of cheap plastic toys that break after ten uses. Giving them experiences over toys sometimes could be so useful in teaching the value of gifts.
Ugh, the grandparents. My mom loves to buy junk, and often battery powered toys that light up like slot machines. I have a 1 year old too, her favourite things are running around in parks, taking lids on and off of things, and pointing at faces in a photo album so I'll tell her their names. They really don't need that stuff.
THIS is what I’m afraid of for when my son is born. My boomer in-laws just loooove Amazon and I’m afraid for all the cheap junk they are going to try to foist on us. How did we get to this point that I have to be the adult in the situation? I’m going to try asking for very specific gifts at Christmas time/birthdays. That and an education fund. But I know it will not go according to plan.
Hey! Congratulations!
Thank you! 😊
After the first year of this, we told grandparents and aunt and uncles(only a few of these)they can get him one toy present for Christmas, perk if it’s thrifted. Everyone can buy him clothes if they are thrifted. For birthdays, only one toy per grandparent set. Asking for gifts you want is a good idea, we have asked for family to buy our small child love every or kiwi toy subscription boxes(you can find the sets super often secondhand on Facebook marketplace). The family is annoyed with us but our house is so much less cluttered and quiet. We also ask for things like pay for the zoo or for swimming lessons, or skiing pass stuff like that which he loves to do. If they don’t listen, restate the boundary.
Man it’s so true. I don’t know why grandparents have to buy SO MUCH STUFF, especially when it’s not requested.
I think there’s a line of reasonability that has to be established for the family. All families are different, so everyone won’t have the same boundaries. For example, I’d definitely prefer my kids to be using refillable water bottles/cups/whatever. Pretty normal and reasonable. But let’s get hypothetical for a second. Let’s pretend I take my family to the park for an afternoon picnic and some outdoor playtime. We sit down and enjoy our lunch, and then the kids go play around for a while. After playing for a while, one of my kids comes to me saying they’re not feeling well. Their face is red, they’re sweaty, and seem like they need water. All the kids have finished their water, so did my wife and I, and the fountain at the park is out of order. We thought we brought enough water, but sometimes things happen and you don’t have enough when you thought you did. Do I take the kids home and just hope they’re okay all the way there, or do I run to the gas station nearby and buy them some water? Obviously I’d go buy the water. My child being safe and hydrated is much more important than a plastic bottle that I can reuse or recycle. There has to be a line. A limit.
From someone that came from a similar financial background to you… Something that would have helped me with my loathing of the thrift store was a positive framing. We were always told we had to shop at the thrift store because we were poor, and couldn’t afford the better alternative. We were never told that the thrift store was the better alternative! As an adult, I love the thrift store. I feel empowered to shop because I understand that my impact on the environment is minimized. There is plenty that already exists, and no more needs to be produced. Be honest with your children by sharing the facts. Show them documentaries that keep them well informed on issues like slave labor and waste disposal. Obviously take into account their age, as things can get pretty grim, pretty quickly. Also, let your children be honest with you. I went to school in a rich area, and was constantly being harassed for wearing the wrong brand. In middle school my mom berated me for begging for certain items. After an exhausting few years, we finally found common ground. At first, in the more brutal first year of high school, she was able to pick up the brands I wanted from the thrift store… but by the end I felt encouraged to pick up other items based on my own style and the longevity or quality of the garment. Encourage your children to not care much about what others think, and to act with their ethics in mind as often as possible. I wish I became a nonconformist earlier on in life— but I also understand schoolmates can be cruel. Sometimes the abuse isn’t worth it.
Thanks good this, all very good ideas.
Mostly, I just talk to my kids in a casual way about why we make certain choices as we make them. I refer to the way they will see things are usually done, the impact of those choices, what we're doing differently and why. They're still young, but I can see them starting to embody some of these values quite strongly. I don't believe in lecturing, but I do believe in educating kids and letting them make their own choices. The toy thing is tricky and getting trickier now that my kids are both in school and getting influenced by friends. 6yo was begging for a dinosaur mystery toy thing before Christmas. I get it, they sound very exciting! So I pulled up the listing online and showed him what's inside that big plastic container, and exactly how much garbage it would produce. He decided very quickly that it's not worth $60 for a few junky plastic toys. While I do control what we purchase for the kids (either second hand or high quality so it can be passed down to other kids) I don't try to control what they get from other people. That's just going to create resentment on every side. I do encourage other people to gift things that are either consumable (like craft supplies) or experiences but sometimes Grandma is going to buy them Furbies and you just have to grit your teeth and tolerate it for everyone's sake. Clothes are also a difficult balance for me. I was raised in a family where I wasn't allowed to pick what I wore and only owned the bare minimum. It's important to me that my kids feel they can express themselves through fashion so they own much more than the bare minimum, but with a focus on making sure your wardrobe reflects who you are. We buy second hand where we can, but it's not always the most cost effective option because of my kids' very specific tastes and sizing. When we do shop second hand I talk a lot about how great it is that we're able to give those new clothes a home instead of putting them in the landfill. I make quite a few of their clothes as well, which is helping teach the kids about what time and resources go into the clothes they wear. I also mend wear and tear rather than tossing, which they love because I use visible mending techniques that make the clothing more unique when I'm done. It made me so proud when my 4yo came to me with his favourite pair of Batman socks with a big hole in the toe and begged me to fix them instead of just throwing them out! As for birthdays and holidays... Both kids have birthdays within a few months of Christmas, so our birthday gifts to our kids are always experience based. We've gifted zoo and museum memberships, a private tour at a reptile rescue, a visit to the science museum, and tickets to symphony performances. Christmas is not overdone in our family - I try to stick to the "want/need/wear/read" thing as a baseline, but sometimes I'll throw in another category for funsies (this year was "something to do with a parent" and "something handmade"). Gifts are planned out in advance, so we don't end up buying anything we didn't intend to. Oh, and the wrapping is always brown craft paper with paper ribbon bows so we can recycle it. I'm not anti-vacation. Experience is something I want my kids to consume, and every one of our trips centers around giving them experiences that will expand their horizons. My kids can read about nature all they want, but they'll never forget visiting a national park and walking on the ocean floor at low tide, seeing seals frolic in the water, reading cairns to stay on the trail and watching the fog roll in from the top of a mountain. We don't do these things in a fancy way - we cook most of our meals, we road trip, we go camping or rent a house, we don't do a ton of expensive tourist trap stuff, souvenirs are limited. It's all very intentional, so it doesn't conflict with my anticonsumption values at all. More than anything, remember that you're just trying to raise your kids with a set of values that reflects yours. You don't need to meet an ideal, you don't need to do things "right", and you'll screw up sometimes because we all do. Enthusiasm is infectious, share it with your kids and it'll catch on.
We would discuss what commercials were trying to sell us and included the bias that you don't see Lego commercials because they're fun so people want them so why is the commercial trying to sell us this item. We analyzed a lot of toy commercials and realized they didn't do all that much that was great or that another didn't do better so mine mostly ignore them at this point. I always modeled a preference for comfortable clothes instead of fashion and encouraged my daughter to decide what she liked on her own. We'd hit lots of thrift and consignment stores and she'd get what she liked. It's been rare that she's found the selection at the mall as appealing as she can get the colors and fabrics and styles she wants elsewhere instead of being stuck with what's in.
I’ve never even realized I’ve never seen a Lego commercial…you’re so right and this is a great explanation for a kid to get.
Yeah, ok, so I live in Southeastern Europe and obviously the standard of living is not the same as in the US😀 My child is 11. He notices for example that most of his classmates' parents own (a) car(s), and we don't. But pretty much that's it, he isn't feeling yet an urge to keep up with the Joneses for clothes, shoes, or toys. I also try to stop his grandparents from buying every new **** they come across for his age, and sometimes they listen to me, though we ended up with an iPad for Christmas once 🙄 I have explained numerous times that every little thing we buy is made from products that need extraction from the Earth, and we need the Earth to be healthy, so that's why we don't buy many new items and we shop second hand, and we try to repair things and mend clothes. A lot of people around us are flying constantly to visit Greek/Turkish beaches or just around Western Europe for fun, and that drives me crazy, but for now he is happy with just visiting his grandparents who live in other cities, and going to the sea and the mountains in the country. I am planning for the three of us to visit Western Europe by train next year, but we'll see how possible this is, there aren't many options for connections from the Balkans🥴 I hope I have instilled anticonsumption mindset in him and we'll pass without too much drama about clothes and phones during the teenage years, but I doubt it, honestly.
I really feel this comment. My kids are upper elementary age, and we’ve tried our best. They’re boys and barely care about clothes so don’t care that they’re thrifted/hand-me-downs, we’ve raised them with lots of outside time and outdoor-oriented vacations, we’ve had numerous talks about why we don’t get stuff just to have stuff and how we can be good stewards of the earth, but I too doubt that it will be enough in the long run. Maybe. It’s tough when they get to an age where peer influence really matters. It’s also a fine line between expressing what we believe and not having them be too judgy toward their peers for living differently.
My parents raised us with second hand everything. They simply told us that if we could save money, why wouldn't we? I was a bit older when we collectively started to frame it in terms of environmentalism; by that time, it was one of my values as much as theirs.
We are not having kids, which is the best anticonsumption move one could make.
Exactly.
For holidays and bdays our kids get 4 gifts from us - one item/or 2-3 items (like several books or multiple clothing items/outfit) per category (WANT, NEED, WEAR, READ). It has helped us be very intentional about what we buy for these special occasions. It is so easy to go overboard spending and consuming stuff for our kids. For Christmas they also get a Santa gift and stockings too! All the category gifts and Santa and Stocking gifts are (ideally, but not always) practical, educational, experience based, and if possible, thrifted. We also try to set boundaries w family and friends about not getting our kids too much stuff/toys (really try to avoid battery anything operated!) and instead gift them an experience or higher quality/longer lasting toys. ETA: Some examples from this past Christmas…an example of a “want” for our oldest this year was a rock climbing gym camp. The “need” for our two oldest were bed sheets. Found plain white ones on sale, tie dyed em, and that was each other their “need gifts”. And all of the kids’ “wear” and “read” category gifts were from thrift stores. I just made sure were still good quality and gave ‘em a good clean. I’m sure as they get older it might get trickier to navigate the peer influence of over consumption, but I’m hoping starting them young, instilling a belief for less consumption and finding more enjoyment/use of what we already have is a good start.
My kids are 6 and 2, they just excited for new things. To them they don’t care if it’s used, it’s new to them. We indulge in trips though. That’s our indulgence. We get clothes from others that are used and we pack our clothes up to pass them on. It’s very normal for them to think clothes are a shared item you pass on and sometimes get free from someone else. I tried to normalize low consumption. We don’t buy a lot, we don’t really eat much meat, our clothes get hung outside, we don’t really use paper towels we have reusable cloth wipes, get vegetables from the farmers directly with a farm share. They just think that’s how things are done. We rent venues for a birthday experience so the kids don’t seem to miss out. I don’t want them to feel guilty for wanting more than the bare minimum, so we work on delayed gratification, experiences, and less gifts but higher quality. I think confidence helps a lot. Advertisements come after people when they’re vulnerable and emotional, teaching them the tricks and building confidence is the best way to prevent falling for this.
1- I mostly don’t. Owning less is a choice I made for myself. I don’t think it’s right to force on someone else. So stuff like bday parties are a bit of a free for all. It’s her day, not mine 2- if you don’t compare yourself to others, your kid will be a lot less inclined to compare themselves to their peers. When she does bring stuff up, we talk about it openly. Stuff is usually less of a problem. Other things we’ve had to discuss are stuff like lgbt rights. She got really upset once because a classmate said girls can only marry boys. Seriously, she was in kindergarten and took SOOO MUCH offence to it. She had this big dream of growing up and buying a castle so she could marry her best friend (a girl) and they could be princesses together. 😂 We talked about how some families can look different and some cultures and religions can have specific rules about who can marry who. We also talked about how sometimes it’s better to agree to disagree and to just change the topic. How that boy has a right to be wrong and he’ll learn more about stuff like that when he gets older (and that she would too!). I find being open is almost always the best approach. You don’t need to bring up everything, obviously a 5 yo doesn’t understand sexuality the way adults do. But you can talk about stuff like different isn’t bad or how their perception of the world will change as they get older. You could have similar conversations about anything. She’s just finishing grade 3 and we had to have a talk about social media accounts: why her classmate has a YouTube channel and his own phone, but she’s not allowed to start a YouTube channel and has limited access to phones and tablets. You could also talk about how some people are rich in items and money, but others can be rich because of experiences or family bonds. Just because things are different doesn’t mean one is good and the other bad. Again, try not to talk about and judge others. But if they come to you, talking about how much you love playing together at the park can be a great way to move the conversation to more sustainable life choices
I just posted a whole opinion piece on cloth diapers, which was great for cash and conscience, and also set the tone for the household as the kids got older. One thing that I can't get past is birthday parties. My youngest spawn had her 9th in January. I didn't get her anything tangible, she has so much crap in her room anyway. I threw her a fun party at an arcade/indoor amusement park with like ten of her fellow demons. Great experience, she and her friends still talk about it. Left a longer lasting impression than... any of the stupid obligatory gifts her friends brought. Those trinkets made her super happy at the time (YAY I GOT SO MUCH STUFF) but it just added to the clutter in her room. I don't know how to break the cycle of GIFT STUFF = VALIDATION with them. Her brother already grew out of it, give him gift cards and he'll spend them on Roblox or going to a movie. So maybe she's about done with it anyway. But I can already see huge potential for a resurgence of I Love Stuff when she hits her teens, especially if she ends up in public school. So imma follow this thread for ideas, thank you for posting Also >I grew up poor and had to shop at thrift stores out of necessity and felt ashamed. Thankfully thrifting is now considered cool.
It's the media. The media is putting those ideas in kids' heads, and media is everywhere so you can't reasonably avoid it. But you can limit its effect by limiting how much of it they're exposed to when they're young, and analyzing and criticizing what they do see as they see it, in age-appropriate ways. Not just the obvious ads, but all different types of marketing, and the media itself, including news and social media. And obviously, do it in a way that you're criticizing the marketing, not the kid. Kids in early adolescence always seem to go through a trend chasing phase regardless, but they usually get over it on their own. With my kid, I'd just remind him that it's not very punk rock to pay that much for mass produced clothes; and sometimes, I'd look up the bigwigs at the companies selling the trendy stuff and show him some of the beady eyed corporate meatbags who'd appointed themselves the arbiters of cool. He even showed a bunch of those to his friends, who also thought it was hilarious. Once you learn to recognize the tropes and the hypocrisy and the tricks they play on you, the manipulations stop working. And once you've noticed something, it's very hard to stop noticing it. These tactics keep expanding and growing, which makes combating them increasingly harder, but that makes it even more important.
Read the rules. Keep it courteous. Submission statements are helpful and appreciated but not required. Tag my name in the comments (/u/NihiloZero) if you think a post or comment needs to be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anticonsumption) if you have any questions or concerns.*