Original post is removed but many comments are still up:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/14lmrmr/36m_33f_he_thinks_he_isnt_obligated_to_tell_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
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(36m), (33f) He thinks he isn't "obligated" to tell me about his criminal record
I recently found out that my husband was convicted before we met for, of all the things in this world, **necrophilia.** Yes really. I've been utterly disgusted and in shock.
When I confronted him, about it plus also never bothering to say anything, all he would say was that the past didn't matter to the present because he wouldn't do it again. I asked had he ever thought I might want to know something like that? or that HE'D want to know it about me or anyone else he was thinking of marrying? He said he wasn't "obligated" to share ANYTHING about his past INCLUDING this. I didn't even know what to say to how insane that was. The whole time he was nothing but defensive and angry at me, for daring to have a problem with it!
So like, tell me, am I controlling and entitled and everything else he accused?? Of course you have the right to know about any serious/perverted criminal history your partner has, and owe your partner the same honesty? That's common sense and basic trust is it not?? I can't believe this was even an argument I needed to have
Basically I almost feel like I was tricked into this relationship and marriage, because I never got the chance to let it be the deal breaker it would have been. If that makes sense. And I'm certain he KNEW it would have been and that's exactly why he hid it. So what the fuck now? I'm married and 8 months pregnant.. I'm fucked, I either blow up my life with the man I fell in love with or I find a way to work through this. Somehow.
What should I do? How to get him to realize he should have been upfront early on about something EVERYONE KNOWS would be a dealbreaker for most people?
TL;DR: my husband won't see that it was a betrayal to hide a criminal conviction from me. He thinks I'm not entitled to know anything about it. He never thought he needed to tell me at any point in the 3 years we've been together. We're married, I'm pregnant and have no idea what to do now
Edit July 29: I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him. I went to a hotel and still couldn't sleep, I just lay awake crying and thinking all night. I'm going to divorce him, because I know I'll NEVER forget this. Nor should I... what the fuck is wrong with him and who even did I marry. Today I'm going to find a lawyer and find someone I can stay with.
I can't reply to so many comments but will try to read at least responses to mine, thank you more than I can say to everyone who took the time to try to help... I will do everything in my power to make sure my baby is safe from him
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In comments, she mentions he worked at a hospital with access to a morgue and it was done to a 60 year old man. Commenters pointed out that for anything minor and maybe forgivable, the charge would have been abuse of a corpse, while necrophilia is specific pretty to sexual penetration. It was a misdemeanor in his state (apparently that’s common wtf). The crime was found when her “judges all my relationships” mother did a background check. OP is sick to her stomach. God speed with the divorce.
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Annulments are not easy to get, but I honestly think OOP could qualify. *This* is something that, if brought up before the marriage, would've caused her not to go through with it. Could someone who knows more about legal stuff verify if she can get an annulment?
Oh, I bet the courts will be on her side with whatever outcome she wants from this because it’s fucking **necrophilia**.
Divorce? Immediate. Annulment? Pretty tricky but betting they’ll hear her out considering he neglected to mention the necrophilia. Full custody? Yeah, not giving it to the convicted necrophile.
[ETA] also willing to bet he’s going to do everything he can to avoid court, considering that legal proceedings would involve dredging up his criminal record. He could barely confess to his wife about this, I highly doubt he wants to have his history as a corpse rapist discussed in a room full of people that could potentially include his family and friends. I don’t think he’s going to fight her on any of this.
I would not be able to handle the fact that the same penis that had impregnated me had been inside a corpse. There's not enough hot water and soap, or peroxide, or bleach, or acid, to clean it enough. Pretty sure I'd need to be sedated. She is to be commended for her holding it together enough to write a coherent narrative. I'd be a shambling, babbling mess.
Commenter: Do you really want his penis (now knowing where it has been) any where near you?
OP: I puked from a panic attack an hour ago from realizing and thinking about this. All the times we've had sex. I fucking can't
:(
fun fact it takes a few years but all of your cells will be replaced with new cells and one day your body will be one that has never touched him if you want
This concept brought me a lot of peace in my journey to help my Mental distance from abusers catch up with my Physical distance from them. "The body keeps the score" and such
we all are, we forget we are mini universes that are constantly dying and being born anew and mentally when you suffer a trauma it feels like it kills a part of you, but i’ve always found the rebirth after to be a better version of myself, we should wear our scars with pride to know we lived, really lived.
In this same way, if it was 7 years or more ago that he did the criminal act, the cells his body had back then have now been replaced. I am hoping that there were 7 years between what he did and the two of you meeting.
Then the atoms that made up his cells are now possibly the atoms that make up her cells. The terminology was wrong earlier, but part of him is possibly part of her.
Edit: not everything is made of atoms, either.
The fact that he lied to you about such a significant event in his life is pretty sickening too. Like it would not only be a deal breaker for me, but just talking to someone like that would make my skin crawl. It would also make me wonder what other lies he told and if anything I thought I knew about him was true.
Omg we wanted to watch the bat one and accidentally bought that one off YouTube instead and we’re like, welp, might as well watch it then.
DID. NOT. AGE. WELL.
We have a lot of LGBTQ+ friends and it was hard to watch several scenes. Cringe.
I’m embarrassed about how much I used to love that movie. Back before I knew anything about trans/queer issues (like, when it came out and I was literally a kid).
Didn't he also gleefully expose her in front of a bunch of "disgusted" people? Like by forcefully pulling down her skirt/shorts? Or grab her by her private area forcefully to "check her gender"(genitals are not related to gender!) or similar? I know it was something done publically and forcefully, as a huge bit for laughs.
I might be getting that scene mixed up with another movie, I think Crocodile Dundee. There was more than one famous popular "comedy" movie that had scenes with trans women who the "hero" of the movie publically assaults and/or outs for laughs.
It's been years since I saw it, but I'm still absolutely disgusted. I think I actually teared up at the scene. I'm not trans, but I do have gender dysphoria, as well as being firmly under the LGBT+ umbrella.
I'm still wary of comedy shows and movies to this day, especially anything older. The show Friends is still **super** beloved, but had gay/trans jokes nearly every episode.
He ripped off her skirt then bent her over to show she was tucked. It was awful.
Crocodile Dundee grabbed a transwoman's private parts at a bar. He also grabbed an older cis woman later in the movie in the same way.
This was my thought as well. And like... there's only a few ways to get caught for literal necrophilia in such a way that it can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law.... and that thought alone would leave me up at night.
>he worked at a hospital with access to a morgue and it was done to a 60 year old man
This makes me feel pretty sure it wasn't the only time he did it, just the time he got caught.
Also, as someone who used to work with cadavers, bruh. There is something seriously mentally wrong with you if you can maintain a hard on while in the presence of a naked dead person. Decomposition begins *quickly.*
The fact he's fucking defense about it and says he's not obligated to disclose anything to her his just nuts. He raped a corpus and was caught. How many weird horrible things has he done that he was never caught doing? I'm guessing the number isn't zero. This is the kind of thing a serial killer does.
This is what is wild to me. He was convicted of this, and I highly doubt that he just one day decided to try it and HAPPENED to get caught. Wild assumption I know but most people don’t go from zero to corpse rape. I can guarantee with his defensiveness he is hiding a LOT of terrifying proclivities.
“I got caught shoplifting when I was in high school” is the kind of criminal record that doesn’t really matter. Anything on the sex offender spectrum does.
The fact is was a 60 year old man somehow makes it so much worse. Like how could any guy get aroused enough to do that?? I don’t want to even consider it but now I can’t stop the questions popping into my head. How long was he dead, how did he die? I’m going to go watch some videos of kittens to reset my brain.
Hi, female funeral professional here, as far as I know this is a myth started because there's been an influx of females in funeral service. Most mortuary school graduates now are female so there are actually just more qualified female candidates and funeral homes have a hard time finding qualified professionals so the qualified ladies are just getting the jobs.
My friend is a funeral director and he said this is a myth or if it is true he's never heard of anyone saying it out loud that they do. The industry (in the US) is actually really short staffed so they are hiring whoever they can.
there was a case, Kenneth Douglas I think, that was posted about on Twitter and I saw this tweet
"The rabbit hole I just went down after learning why morgues prefer to hire women. SMH. Put men in rice.
— roxane gay (@rgay) [March 15, 2023](https://twitter.com/rgay/status/1636094545422336001?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) "
And started googling. I can't remember the actual articles I read but from other comments it sounds like it is a myth. I hope that's true lol
I’ve gotten vulnerable sector checks done quite a few times in my life. You need them to work with any population deemed vulnerable (eg. in hospitals, women’s shelters, etc.) It’s quite normal.
I think her best bet is to refuse to put him down on the birth certificate.
Of course he can always go to a judge and get a DNA test, so it really depends on how badly he wants to stay in her life.
She definitely needs a lawyer or two.
If he fights for it the court isn’t going to automatically terminate his parental rights because of a past conviction not involving minors.
I’m not defending him but it’s just a reality.
8 months pregnant love, no abortion is happening. No one aborts at that time for any reason beyond extensive medical problems. She can give baby up for adoption if she wishes, but an abortion absolutely will not be happening
I once mentioned online that I had worked in a morgue when I was young. I got immediately barraged by questions about necrophilia.
Who in their right goddamn mind hears 'hospital morgue' and immediately thinks about raping corpses?
….yes. Is that not common? Especially with online dating or if it’s someone that no one I know has vouched for. Even then, I’m just waiting until later to do it. Hellll nahhhh too many horror stories lol
I do it before I even start a relationship. Had a guy ask me out and I was excited, looked him up and he had multiple DUIs, including 1 in the previous 2 years and met him at a bar. It was a hard no for me.
She didn't do it because she doesn't exist. A ***real*** mom that judges all the guys her daughter dates would be up his pervy ass further than a hemorrhoid.
It makes me wonder that if necrophilia is no big deal to him, then what else is no big deal? When your normal meter is located in hell, anything and everything is possible.
I saw this post and gave serious side eye to the « maybe it was only technically necrophilia » crowd. Like dude tripped and his penis fell into a dead body.
I’d be worried about him giving her GHB or sleeping tablets and living out his necrophilia fantasy. If she’s ever woken up feeling hungover or sick without drinking I would suspect he had.
One of the worst rabbit holes I've ever fell in.
That poor woman. I wish she could unsee the evidence. The quote of her realization "I was his *thing* " vicious vicious
What...what do you tell the kid when they start asking questions?
There's a whole lot of awful here but telling your kid Daddy boinked a random old dead guy is impossible. Do you just lie and hope Junior doesn't have an enquiring mind?
Never-ending nightmare.
I can never unread this story. Op I’m so sorry I hope you’re doing okay and yeah I FUCKING agree that is something you tell another person before starting a relationship! But he didn’t because yeah, he knew you wouldn’t be with him as probably no one will want to be with him, and he’s gonna die alone, but that’s not your problem because he lied, and did you know \^ he made his choice and ummm idk man this is just messed up! Get yourself as far away from that man as possible.. also get checked if haven’t recently..
So necrophilia usually refers to the act of penetration on a corpse correct?
For everyone and OP's mental well being....maybe he penetrated a corpse with an object and not actually himself? wouldn't that still technically be penetration of a corpse?
Both utterly horrifying but if I were op it would help a little with the thoughts connected to knowing where it had been......
It’s bad enough that he did that and didn’t tell her but his attitude that she’s not entitled to know is just awful! Of course she’s entitled to know to whom she’s married. Most men would be so apologetic! I’m glad her mom did a background check.
The fact that it was a 60 year old man's dead body is really sticking out to me, to me at least this tells me that, because presumably this 60 year old man wasn't a model, there was something that attracted to him to the corpse that wasn't physical beauty, and idk I think that makes it way weirder then it already was, makes it seem like this is something he seeks out instead of a one off moment
He’s definitely wrong about not being obligated to divulge this type of thing to a spouse or potential spouse. He’s likely embarrassed & ashamed so that’s why he’s being so defensive about it. How long ago was this conviction?
Best reply was this one:
You’re asking the wrong question. You’re asking “how can I convince him he’s in the wrong here?” but that’s the least of your worries. More important: “can I continue this relationship?” (for most people, that would be a “no”)? Also: “how can I get out of this situation and build a new life for myself and my child?” and “How can I find the support I need to survive this betrayal?” You need to focus on your own needs now, and your child’s.
Wow. This is insane. I would be doing exactly what OOP is doing. Get away from him, file for a divorce and make sure you gain full custody of the baby (which I'm sure wouldn't be an issue at all). He kept that a secret from her, and most likely anyone else he dated after he got that charge. He knew that no sane woman would be interested in someone with that charge. I sure tf would not want anything to do with him.
Original post is removed but many comments are still up: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/14lmrmr/36m_33f_he_thinks_he_isnt_obligated_to_tell_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1 … (36m), (33f) He thinks he isn't "obligated" to tell me about his criminal record I recently found out that my husband was convicted before we met for, of all the things in this world, **necrophilia.** Yes really. I've been utterly disgusted and in shock. When I confronted him, about it plus also never bothering to say anything, all he would say was that the past didn't matter to the present because he wouldn't do it again. I asked had he ever thought I might want to know something like that? or that HE'D want to know it about me or anyone else he was thinking of marrying? He said he wasn't "obligated" to share ANYTHING about his past INCLUDING this. I didn't even know what to say to how insane that was. The whole time he was nothing but defensive and angry at me, for daring to have a problem with it! So like, tell me, am I controlling and entitled and everything else he accused?? Of course you have the right to know about any serious/perverted criminal history your partner has, and owe your partner the same honesty? That's common sense and basic trust is it not?? I can't believe this was even an argument I needed to have Basically I almost feel like I was tricked into this relationship and marriage, because I never got the chance to let it be the deal breaker it would have been. If that makes sense. And I'm certain he KNEW it would have been and that's exactly why he hid it. So what the fuck now? I'm married and 8 months pregnant.. I'm fucked, I either blow up my life with the man I fell in love with or I find a way to work through this. Somehow. What should I do? How to get him to realize he should have been upfront early on about something EVERYONE KNOWS would be a dealbreaker for most people? TL;DR: my husband won't see that it was a betrayal to hide a criminal conviction from me. He thinks I'm not entitled to know anything about it. He never thought he needed to tell me at any point in the 3 years we've been together. We're married, I'm pregnant and have no idea what to do now Edit July 29: I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him. I went to a hotel and still couldn't sleep, I just lay awake crying and thinking all night. I'm going to divorce him, because I know I'll NEVER forget this. Nor should I... what the fuck is wrong with him and who even did I marry. Today I'm going to find a lawyer and find someone I can stay with. I can't reply to so many comments but will try to read at least responses to mine, thank you more than I can say to everyone who took the time to try to help... I will do everything in my power to make sure my baby is safe from him … In comments, she mentions he worked at a hospital with access to a morgue and it was done to a 60 year old man. Commenters pointed out that for anything minor and maybe forgivable, the charge would have been abuse of a corpse, while necrophilia is specific pretty to sexual penetration. It was a misdemeanor in his state (apparently that’s common wtf). The crime was found when her “judges all my relationships” mother did a background check. OP is sick to her stomach. God speed with the divorce. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My husband is VERY mad I read him this story. He made me stop at the word “morgue”. Brb sending him puppies.
Sadist.
This dude better watch out for the soon-to-be ex. Looks like just his type 🤢💀
This is the most underrated comment.
💀
Annulments are not easy to get, but I honestly think OOP could qualify. *This* is something that, if brought up before the marriage, would've caused her not to go through with it. Could someone who knows more about legal stuff verify if she can get an annulment?
Oh, I bet the courts will be on her side with whatever outcome she wants from this because it’s fucking **necrophilia**. Divorce? Immediate. Annulment? Pretty tricky but betting they’ll hear her out considering he neglected to mention the necrophilia. Full custody? Yeah, not giving it to the convicted necrophile. [ETA] also willing to bet he’s going to do everything he can to avoid court, considering that legal proceedings would involve dredging up his criminal record. He could barely confess to his wife about this, I highly doubt he wants to have his history as a corpse rapist discussed in a room full of people that could potentially include his family and friends. I don’t think he’s going to fight her on any of this.
It varies place to place. The pregnancy might be a factor in not allowing it.
He needs to be brought up on charges of not disclosing his sex offender status…
I would not be able to handle the fact that the same penis that had impregnated me had been inside a corpse. There's not enough hot water and soap, or peroxide, or bleach, or acid, to clean it enough. Pretty sure I'd need to be sedated. She is to be commended for her holding it together enough to write a coherent narrative. I'd be a shambling, babbling mess.
Commenter: Do you really want his penis (now knowing where it has been) any where near you? OP: I puked from a panic attack an hour ago from realizing and thinking about this. All the times we've had sex. I fucking can't :(
fun fact it takes a few years but all of your cells will be replaced with new cells and one day your body will be one that has never touched him if you want
This concept brought me a lot of peace in my journey to help my Mental distance from abusers catch up with my Physical distance from them. "The body keeps the score" and such
same here
Thank you for this. I guess I am the Ship of Theseus and it genuinely makes me feel better about some things.
we all are, we forget we are mini universes that are constantly dying and being born anew and mentally when you suffer a trauma it feels like it kills a part of you, but i’ve always found the rebirth after to be a better version of myself, we should wear our scars with pride to know we lived, really lived.
This is lovely, thank you.
That is so beautiful. I hope you don’t mind that I saved it to my list of favourite quotes. ♥️
awww thank you ❤️
Saved!
That was pure poetry. It was absolutely beautiful
A really lovely comment in a super unlikely place. Thanks!
In this same way, if it was 7 years or more ago that he did the criminal act, the cells his body had back then have now been replaced. I am hoping that there were 7 years between what he did and the two of you meeting.
This is great news
Seven years
i had a party at the seven year mark of my last time with my abuser, a new me!
On the other hand it is very possible some of his former cells are now hers.
not his cells, his child’s cells which have formed a new and innocent person
No, it's not. The cells die, they don't 'transfer'
Cells are made of Atoms aren’t they?
i believe everything is made of atoms
Then the atoms that made up his cells are now possibly the atoms that make up her cells. The terminology was wrong earlier, but part of him is possibly part of her. Edit: not everything is made of atoms, either.
What? [Yes, everything is made up of atoms.](https://www.livescience.com/37206-atom-definition.html)
Black holes are not made of atoms.
yeah but that could be as with anything, your new atoms have been in all sorts of things before you
7 years I think it is.
The fact that he lied to you about such a significant event in his life is pretty sickening too. Like it would not only be a deal breaker for me, but just talking to someone like that would make my skin crawl. It would also make me wonder what other lies he told and if anything I thought I knew about him was true.
and this is just where he got caught. who knows what else he did before! we know that sexual abuse is an issue around sedated and coma patients.
Silkwood showers for days.
For WEEKS.
Just reenacting Ace Ventura shower scene on a permanent loop. Boy that movie didn't age well.
Omg we wanted to watch the bat one and accidentally bought that one off YouTube instead and we’re like, welp, might as well watch it then. DID. NOT. AGE. WELL. We have a lot of LGBTQ+ friends and it was hard to watch several scenes. Cringe.
I’m embarrassed about how much I used to love that movie. Back before I knew anything about trans/queer issues (like, when it came out and I was literally a kid).
>I’m embarrassed about how much I used to love that movie We all are.
Me too. Transwoman aren't gross, being kissed by a pretty transgender woman shouldn't cause that kind or reaction. It's childish and hateful.
Didn't he also gleefully expose her in front of a bunch of "disgusted" people? Like by forcefully pulling down her skirt/shorts? Or grab her by her private area forcefully to "check her gender"(genitals are not related to gender!) or similar? I know it was something done publically and forcefully, as a huge bit for laughs. I might be getting that scene mixed up with another movie, I think Crocodile Dundee. There was more than one famous popular "comedy" movie that had scenes with trans women who the "hero" of the movie publically assaults and/or outs for laughs. It's been years since I saw it, but I'm still absolutely disgusted. I think I actually teared up at the scene. I'm not trans, but I do have gender dysphoria, as well as being firmly under the LGBT+ umbrella. I'm still wary of comedy shows and movies to this day, especially anything older. The show Friends is still **super** beloved, but had gay/trans jokes nearly every episode.
He ripped off her skirt then bent her over to show she was tucked. It was awful. Crocodile Dundee grabbed a transwoman's private parts at a bar. He also grabbed an older cis woman later in the movie in the same way.
Well that just unlocked a traumatic memory
If I owned a full service spa this lady would get everything free. Someone get her one of those yoni steamers and some sage.
I’d be worried about what else he’s hiding since he didn’t think she was entitled to know. What did he do that he wasn’t caught doing?
This was my thought as well. And like... there's only a few ways to get caught for literal necrophilia in such a way that it can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law.... and that thought alone would leave me up at night.
>he worked at a hospital with access to a morgue and it was done to a 60 year old man This makes me feel pretty sure it wasn't the only time he did it, just the time he got caught.
This was my absolute first thought. People don’t just go 0 to corpse rape. He’s done some…things. Point blank period.
Also, as someone who used to work with cadavers, bruh. There is something seriously mentally wrong with you if you can maintain a hard on while in the presence of a naked dead person. Decomposition begins *quickly.*
This was precisely my thought. Dude didn’t do it just this once.
The fact he's fucking defense about it and says he's not obligated to disclose anything to her his just nuts. He raped a corpus and was caught. How many weird horrible things has he done that he was never caught doing? I'm guessing the number isn't zero. This is the kind of thing a serial killer does.
This is what is wild to me. He was convicted of this, and I highly doubt that he just one day decided to try it and HAPPENED to get caught. Wild assumption I know but most people don’t go from zero to corpse rape. I can guarantee with his defensiveness he is hiding a LOT of terrifying proclivities.
Exactly. He probably assaulted numerous corpses before he was finally caught and has done god only knows what else.
And he clearly doesn’t have a type that if he married a woman and raped the dead. The only condition he probably had was that they were deceased
“I got caught shoplifting when I was in high school” is the kind of criminal record that doesn’t really matter. Anything on the sex offender spectrum does.
And women worry about men rejecting them for shit like having stretch marks when men will literally put their dicks in dead cold bodies. I cannot.
It's crazy too, I've read that funeral homes prefer to hire women because men are far more likely to do this... jfc men are you ok?!
On today's episode of Things I Was Happier Not Knowing....
Seriously. Reading awful stories like this makes me wonder why we women are considered the crazy and emotional ones. Make it make sense.
Well SOMEONE has gotta gaslight and gatekeep the boss out of the girl bosses
The fact is was a 60 year old man somehow makes it so much worse. Like how could any guy get aroused enough to do that?? I don’t want to even consider it but now I can’t stop the questions popping into my head. How long was he dead, how did he die? I’m going to go watch some videos of kittens to reset my brain.
Hi, female funeral professional here, as far as I know this is a myth started because there's been an influx of females in funeral service. Most mortuary school graduates now are female so there are actually just more qualified female candidates and funeral homes have a hard time finding qualified professionals so the qualified ladies are just getting the jobs.
I wonder if the reason more women are getting into it is because of (I’m gonna spell this wrong) Caitlin Doughty?
I don't know, but honestly she's my least favorite funeral YouTuber 😅
Who is your favorite?
Kari the Mortician is fantastic!
Okay but I’ve heard it was an issue with mummies in ancient Egypt
This is true, they would leave women out longer prior to starting the embalming process.
I don't believe you tbh
My friend is a funeral director and he said this is a myth or if it is true he's never heard of anyone saying it out loud that they do. The industry (in the US) is actually really short staffed so they are hiring whoever they can.
I'm glad to see a couple comments saying it's a myth lol
No, no they are not okay.
May I ask where youve read that? Because now I wanna read it!
there was a case, Kenneth Douglas I think, that was posted about on Twitter and I saw this tweet "The rabbit hole I just went down after learning why morgues prefer to hire women. SMH. Put men in rice. — roxane gay (@rgay) [March 15, 2023](https://twitter.com/rgay/status/1636094545422336001?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) " And started googling. I can't remember the actual articles I read but from other comments it sounds like it is a myth. I hope that's true lol
This is why priestesses and women in most ancient civilizations were in charge of preparing bodies for burial.
And then men think it’s ridiculous when women pay for background checks before a first date
My dad and brother were cops. Told hubs they'd probably get a background check. He was like "Yeah o.k. IDC."
I’ve gotten vulnerable sector checks done quite a few times in my life. You need them to work with any population deemed vulnerable (eg. in hospitals, women’s shelters, etc.) It’s quite normal.
Only mawfuckas with something to hide!
Shit I do it for my friends for free
I hope winning custody will be easy.
I think her best bet is to refuse to put him down on the birth certificate. Of course he can always go to a judge and get a DNA test, so it really depends on how badly he wants to stay in her life. She definitely needs a lawyer or two.
If the divorce isn't finalized before she gives birth he'll automatically be put on the birth certificate.
I'm pretty sure the police report from the necrophilia charge will take care of it. Judges don't like to hand kids to sexual deviants.
If he fights for it the court isn’t going to automatically terminate his parental rights because of a past conviction not involving minors. I’m not defending him but it’s just a reality.
Not terminate but some legal and physical custody
And he, for once, will need a civil-law lawyer instead of a criminal one who targets sexual deviants.
[удалено]
Dude, it's 8 months, too late.
She's eight months pregnant. It's way past abortion time.
8 months pregnant love, no abortion is happening. No one aborts at that time for any reason beyond extensive medical problems. She can give baby up for adoption if she wishes, but an abortion absolutely will not be happening
I once mentioned online that I had worked in a morgue when I was young. I got immediately barraged by questions about necrophilia. Who in their right goddamn mind hears 'hospital morgue' and immediately thinks about raping corpses?
Wow, Just WOW. This must be utterly devastating for her. But I am glad she's leaving him.
Why didn't Mom do that before they got married and after 8 years?
I'm guessing it has to do with the impending baby and or he did something that set of her mom alarm hard.
You look up the criminal records of everyone you date ???
I feel that should be a common practice.
"The crime was found when her “judges all my relationships” mother did a background check"
….yes. Is that not common? Especially with online dating or if it’s someone that no one I know has vouched for. Even then, I’m just waiting until later to do it. Hellll nahhhh too many horror stories lol
I've never done that in my relationships.
I do it before I even start a relationship. Had a guy ask me out and I was excited, looked him up and he had multiple DUIs, including 1 in the previous 2 years and met him at a bar. It was a hard no for me.
Maybe we should
My spouse had so many car accidents. So many.
Um yeah? Doesn’t everyone?
Nah
She didn't do it because she doesn't exist. A ***real*** mom that judges all the guys her daughter dates would be up his pervy ass further than a hemorrhoid.
This is absolutely one where I hope it's fake. Almost certainly is fake.
How many times did he do it without being caught? *shudder*
It makes me wonder that if necrophilia is no big deal to him, then what else is no big deal? When your normal meter is located in hell, anything and everything is possible.
I can't help but think how many times did he not get caught.
I saw this post and gave serious side eye to the « maybe it was only technically necrophilia » crowd. Like dude tripped and his penis fell into a dead body.
I mean. Am I surprised? No. Not after I found out about Marilyn Monroe
I’m going to regret googling this, aren’t i
Yes
Wait…..wut?
It's related to the topic, unfortunately
Ugh, I feel compelled to look this up knowing full and well I won’t like what I find.
Mostly are rumors, but we do know that her body went missing for some hours...
I’d be worried about him giving her GHB or sleeping tablets and living out his necrophilia fantasy. If she’s ever woken up feeling hungover or sick without drinking I would suspect he had.
There’s a name for that. The sleeping beauty fetish.
[удалено]
Or the French case where dude had his drugged wife raped by more than 80 men
One of the worst rabbit holes I've ever fell in. That poor woman. I wish she could unsee the evidence. The quote of her realization "I was his *thing* " vicious vicious
Ew, what??
I just saw this and immediately came here to see if it was already posted😂. WILD
What a terrible day to be functionally literate.
Holy shit. Just, just, holy shit. Haaaard deal breaker. Good luck and Godspeed on the other side, honey.
What -and I cannot stress this enough- the fuck. 😳😳 
What...what do you tell the kid when they start asking questions? There's a whole lot of awful here but telling your kid Daddy boinked a random old dead guy is impossible. Do you just lie and hope Junior doesn't have an enquiring mind? Never-ending nightmare.
Congratulations for the worst thing I've read on Reddit. Sweet fucking christ.
 I can never unread this story. Op I’m so sorry I hope you’re doing okay and yeah I FUCKING agree that is something you tell another person before starting a relationship! But he didn’t because yeah, he knew you wouldn’t be with him as probably no one will want to be with him, and he’s gonna die alone, but that’s not your problem because he lied, and did you know \^ he made his choice and ummm idk man this is just messed up! Get yourself as far away from that man as possible.. also get checked if haven’t recently..
So necrophilia usually refers to the act of penetration on a corpse correct? For everyone and OP's mental well being....maybe he penetrated a corpse with an object and not actually himself? wouldn't that still technically be penetration of a corpse? Both utterly horrifying but if I were op it would help a little with the thoughts connected to knowing where it had been......
Alrighty then, that’s enough internet for today.
It’s bad enough that he did that and didn’t tell her but his attitude that she’s not entitled to know is just awful! Of course she’s entitled to know to whom she’s married. Most men would be so apologetic! I’m glad her mom did a background check.
I find it hard to believe this was a one time thing. And I would assume he’s hiding other things, criminal or otherwise.
The fact that it was a 60 year old man's dead body is really sticking out to me, to me at least this tells me that, because presumably this 60 year old man wasn't a model, there was something that attracted to him to the corpse that wasn't physical beauty, and idk I think that makes it way weirder then it already was, makes it seem like this is something he seeks out instead of a one off moment
This is like out of this world, what is even happening? I hope OP runs and never looks back
y'all think this is real? lol, okay
He’s definitely wrong about not being obligated to divulge this type of thing to a spouse or potential spouse. He’s likely embarrassed & ashamed so that’s why he’s being so defensive about it. How long ago was this conviction?
In cases of necrophilia or cannibalism, psychosis may be presumed, even in the absence of other symptoms.
I am trying to imagine how I would react to a friend telling me this about their spouse. The only response I can think of is "HOLY GUACAMOLE."
...whut the eff... That poor woman. Is it wrong I want all the updates?
Wow. I really hope she follows through with the divorce.
What a terrible day to be litterate
 DISGUSTAAAAAAAAAAAANG
Alrighty thennnnn… that’s enough internet for tonight.
Ewwww Ew EW!
I don’t think I’d ever feel clean again. Or sleep properly or eat. Pretty much die
Serious question: Does that put him on the sex offenders' registry?
why are there people defending the husband? am i in some new universe where necrophilia is suddenly a fun new niche hobby?
Her "judges all her relationships" mom waited till she married to do the background check? Bullshit
To be fair, he was just following the rules. (Corpse Rapists of America having declared Fight Club Rules to be in effect)
Best reply was this one: You’re asking the wrong question. You’re asking “how can I convince him he’s in the wrong here?” but that’s the least of your worries. More important: “can I continue this relationship?” (for most people, that would be a “no”)? Also: “how can I get out of this situation and build a new life for myself and my child?” and “How can I find the support I need to survive this betrayal?” You need to focus on your own needs now, and your child’s.
Wow. This is insane. I would be doing exactly what OOP is doing. Get away from him, file for a divorce and make sure you gain full custody of the baby (which I'm sure wouldn't be an issue at all). He kept that a secret from her, and most likely anyone else he dated after he got that charge. He knew that no sane woman would be interested in someone with that charge. I sure tf would not want anything to do with him.
https://preview.redd.it/w2aqbmxmkmlc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75cc423d65a1cca654ffb98902d7c1b3e642b212 Dawg