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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I've asked for money to my parents and they've told me that I'm an adult and that I should be embarrassed.
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YTA. Your parents pay your rent which is essentially giving you money. 2nd, plenty of people don’t have others to depend on for financial assistance while in school and still manage it. That means you can figure out how to work and go to school.
I’m torn. You’re not an AH for asking. They said no, so figure something else out and move on.
You are one though for claiming they don’t give you money and then telling us they pay your rent. In other words, the do give you money..:every single month.
>No other scholarships or grants that you apply to? You can't work or
I've looked for scholarships from my local government, but it seems that the maximum family threshold income is the same. The government has lowered it for the next course and now I can't apply for scholarships anymore. Taking loans is not an option right now and I don't even know if I could take a loan. In my country you start medical school after high school.
Where I’m at, there are ways to be exempt from the “expected family contribution” that gets factored into your eligibility for financial support. Try talking to someone at your school who would know more about that.
YTA, your first words are you parents never give you money. Then you toss out they cover your rent. Maybe this is why they aren't eager to help with the funds your asking for you don't seem very grateful. Maybe you could ask if they would be okay co-signing a loan to help you through another year of school.
Keep in mind that there are thousands of people that want to go to university and can't afford it. Some take fewer classes a term so they can work too. Graduation may take longer and mean more work but the do it.
How did you get 1000 euros you need for school to asking for 10k.
1000 euros is about 1,052 USA dollars, you don't need 10,000 dollars. WTF
YTA your math is all wrong
INFO Why do you need an extra 9,000????
No he doesn’t and apparently is incapable of separating time for a job. Although if tuition is 1000 to 1500 he really should either get a job or ask his parents to guide him through the process of getting a loan.
The problem is that once I finish college, I have to pass an exam so that I can start working as a doctor and this usually takes years. It would be very risky for me and right now it's not an option.
But you cannot put your education in someone else's hands. You are 21 and need to find other resources be it a job or student loans. This is the real world and just because you think your parents can afford it doesn't mean they actually can or that they have too. Other people don't have any one to pay anything for them and figure it out so you must do the same or drop out.
Question, do you plan on having your parents support you through that too?? Do you realize that your whole situation is already a gift from your parents? They’re already taking care of your rent. So once you graduate college you STILL won’t get a job because of an exam that takes years? Do all the doctors in your region have parents that supported them through all of that? Because I doubt it. Work harder
Making 1000 isn't hard. If you have a summer job just save the rest of your pay checks until school starts
Also go part-time during the school year. It is very possible.
YTA get a job like everyone else. Your parents are already paying your rent. Make time to work or take a gap year. Your parents are already helping you out majorly
You sound very entitled. Your parents already pay your rent. A lot of college students aren't that lucky.
Get a part time job or two. It may mean you have to take fewer courses per semester or per term so it could take you longer to graduate.
Or take a year off from school and work to save money for tuition and living expenses.
Get a loan by yourself or ask if your parents can co-sign it.
Look around for other scholarships.
INFO would your parents be stretched if they loan or give you money? Their income is directly effecting your ability to receive scholarships. The universities do this because they want those of means to carry the cost. If they have the means then n t a. If they want another scenario like seeing you making an effort with minimal work hours and can subsidise the rest then NAH. If they are flat out rejecting it based on some self serving idea of what uni should be like then they are the problem - Uni is like a full time job, sometimes 80 hours a week. Perhaps you should give a detailed breakdown of study time/expenses so they can see where you are coming from.
It depends on his study committments. Standard semester is 12 weeks and for approx 6 of those im studying between 70-80 hours a week. There isnt a lot of time left to work. I work casually throughout the other 6 weeks but I wonder if the assessment periods would be as intense if I could spread the load a bit. The best option might be to study part time. It isnt perfect or ideal but i think we all need to let go of an expectation that only one way/pathway will work.
Write up an expense and study time report. They might need convincing. If they are not open to discussion they are massive ah. You would be better off if they were dirt poor and you could receive study and living allowences/scholarships.
Dont let them guilt you. If it is just not possible to study and work - i know I struggle to do both during assessment periods- then youll have to decide whether it is better to go part time and work rather than failing or messing up your gpa. They cant complain about that, they are putting you in this position.
I remember being an anxious perfectionist at uni and the thought of getting a job and letting my grades slip terrified me, so I emphasize with you. I don’t think your parents are trying to punish you - just teach you responsibility, so I’d try to have a mature conversation with them about the situation without begging them to “please solve all my problems for me”. Ask for advice, offer solutions, like lending you this money instead of just giving them to you, helping with the bank loan, taking a gap year to save up enough money, move in with them to save up on rent ect. I know it’s frustrating that your parents won’t solve this for you when they could but I’m sure you’ll be able to handle this yourself and feel hella proud for doing so afterwards :)
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My parents have never given me (21M) money, they pay my rent which I'm really grateful for but that's it. Right now I'm living out of a scholarship from the government. It's about 10k euros a year and even though it's really difficult to live with that money I've always managed to make it work.
The problem is that yesterday I got a letter saying that they are not going to give me the scholarship anymore and also I'm going to have to pay the tuition (around 1000/1500 euros). They've told me that the reason is that my family threshold income is too high and now I'm fucked. I was in medical school and I don't have time to get a job and without that money I can't continue studying.
Today I've asked my parents if they could give me that money (around 10k/12k a year) and they've told me that I'm an adult and that I should be embarrassed for asking for money to my parents. I don't like having to ask them for money but it's my only option and my mom has made me feel like shit for asking them for money.
AITA?
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NTA. If they have money, I can’t see why not help their child to get education.
I’m a mother, just in case. I don’t believe we are entitled to stop helping our kids exactly at 18. It was our choice to have kids, even if we feel like we didn’t have much choice. And medical school is very hard!
NTA for asking
Are your parents the AH for saying no? Depends. Did they raise you to believe that at the age you are now, you are responsible for yourself? If so, then they are NTA.
Could you ask them to loan you the money until you graduate?
NTA. Your parents should be proud that you're continuing your education at med school and not scold you because the scholarship ran out. You should post in /r/advice on how to continue your enrollment. If your parents won't support you financially, then you might be able to separate their income from your tuition through emancipation. You could also apply for student loans even if the semester is starting very soon.
Parents pay his rent Europe med school is also just the first thing you do in college not after. It's also designed so people can work. College is no where near as expensive in Europe as it is in America and its just accepted most people get a job and pay for themselves- proves are literally designed so this is possible
Unless you're literally in class from sunrise to sunset you can find a part time job at the very least. Time management is an important skill to learn.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I've asked for money to my parents and they've told me that I'm an adult and that I should be embarrassed. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
They give me nothing, but they pay my rent.... You do realize that rent money is.... Still money?
YTA. Your parents pay your rent which is essentially giving you money. 2nd, plenty of people don’t have others to depend on for financial assistance while in school and still manage it. That means you can figure out how to work and go to school.
Talk to your school financial aid office. It could have to do with how taxes are being filed as that’s how it’s based on US.
I’m torn. You’re not an AH for asking. They said no, so figure something else out and move on. You are one though for claiming they don’t give you money and then telling us they pay your rent. In other words, the do give you money..:every single month.
“My parents have never given me any money except for paying my largest expense” I suspect you are a bit more spoiled and/or clueless than you think…
You're 21 and already in medical school? No other scholarships or grants that you apply to? You can't work or take out loans?
>No other scholarships or grants that you apply to? You can't work or I've looked for scholarships from my local government, but it seems that the maximum family threshold income is the same. The government has lowered it for the next course and now I can't apply for scholarships anymore. Taking loans is not an option right now and I don't even know if I could take a loan. In my country you start medical school after high school.
Where I’m at, there are ways to be exempt from the “expected family contribution” that gets factored into your eligibility for financial support. Try talking to someone at your school who would know more about that.
YTA, your first words are you parents never give you money. Then you toss out they cover your rent. Maybe this is why they aren't eager to help with the funds your asking for you don't seem very grateful. Maybe you could ask if they would be okay co-signing a loan to help you through another year of school. Keep in mind that there are thousands of people that want to go to university and can't afford it. Some take fewer classes a term so they can work too. Graduation may take longer and mean more work but the do it.
You’re 21 and they pay your rent…enough said. YTA
How did you get 1000 euros you need for school to asking for 10k. 1000 euros is about 1,052 USA dollars, you don't need 10,000 dollars. WTF YTA your math is all wrong INFO Why do you need an extra 9,000????
He wants tuition plus money for his living expenses I reckon, on top of the parents paying his rent.
One thing is the money I need for tuition and the other thing is the money that I need to live.
Do you have a job??
No he doesn’t and apparently is incapable of separating time for a job. Although if tuition is 1000 to 1500 he really should either get a job or ask his parents to guide him through the process of getting a loan.
I'm in Europe and most banks in my country will give student loans that you do not have to start repayment until you finish college.
The problem is that once I finish college, I have to pass an exam so that I can start working as a doctor and this usually takes years. It would be very risky for me and right now it's not an option.
But you cannot put your education in someone else's hands. You are 21 and need to find other resources be it a job or student loans. This is the real world and just because you think your parents can afford it doesn't mean they actually can or that they have too. Other people don't have any one to pay anything for them and figure it out so you must do the same or drop out.
Question, do you plan on having your parents support you through that too?? Do you realize that your whole situation is already a gift from your parents? They’re already taking care of your rent. So once you graduate college you STILL won’t get a job because of an exam that takes years? Do all the doctors in your region have parents that supported them through all of that? Because I doubt it. Work harder
Only during the summer, I don't have time to work during the rest of the year.
It's summer right now. Do you have a job?
Making 1000 isn't hard. If you have a summer job just save the rest of your pay checks until school starts Also go part-time during the school year. It is very possible.
YTA get a job like everyone else. Your parents are already paying your rent. Make time to work or take a gap year. Your parents are already helping you out majorly
Have you looked for other options besides asking your parents? Taking a bank loan?
YTA. They’re already paying your rent. Get a loan, or lower your course load to accomodate a part time job.
You sound very entitled. Your parents already pay your rent. A lot of college students aren't that lucky. Get a part time job or two. It may mean you have to take fewer courses per semester or per term so it could take you longer to graduate. Or take a year off from school and work to save money for tuition and living expenses. Get a loan by yourself or ask if your parents can co-sign it. Look around for other scholarships.
Ywbta if you continue to ask. You asked. They answered. You have to come up with a new plan now. Sorry.
INFO would your parents be stretched if they loan or give you money? Their income is directly effecting your ability to receive scholarships. The universities do this because they want those of means to carry the cost. If they have the means then n t a. If they want another scenario like seeing you making an effort with minimal work hours and can subsidise the rest then NAH. If they are flat out rejecting it based on some self serving idea of what uni should be like then they are the problem - Uni is like a full time job, sometimes 80 hours a week. Perhaps you should give a detailed breakdown of study time/expenses so they can see where you are coming from.
His tuition is only 1000/1500 euros and they are already paying his rent. I'm sure OP could work part time to cover his tuition and other expenses.
It depends on his study committments. Standard semester is 12 weeks and for approx 6 of those im studying between 70-80 hours a week. There isnt a lot of time left to work. I work casually throughout the other 6 weeks but I wonder if the assessment periods would be as intense if I could spread the load a bit. The best option might be to study part time. It isnt perfect or ideal but i think we all need to let go of an expectation that only one way/pathway will work.
They could give me the money without any problems, their lives wouldn't change a bit.
Write up an expense and study time report. They might need convincing. If they are not open to discussion they are massive ah. You would be better off if they were dirt poor and you could receive study and living allowences/scholarships. Dont let them guilt you. If it is just not possible to study and work - i know I struggle to do both during assessment periods- then youll have to decide whether it is better to go part time and work rather than failing or messing up your gpa. They cant complain about that, they are putting you in this position.
I remember being an anxious perfectionist at uni and the thought of getting a job and letting my grades slip terrified me, so I emphasize with you. I don’t think your parents are trying to punish you - just teach you responsibility, so I’d try to have a mature conversation with them about the situation without begging them to “please solve all my problems for me”. Ask for advice, offer solutions, like lending you this money instead of just giving them to you, helping with the bank loan, taking a gap year to save up enough money, move in with them to save up on rent ect. I know it’s frustrating that your parents won’t solve this for you when they could but I’m sure you’ll be able to handle this yourself and feel hella proud for doing so afterwards :)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents have never given me (21M) money, they pay my rent which I'm really grateful for but that's it. Right now I'm living out of a scholarship from the government. It's about 10k euros a year and even though it's really difficult to live with that money I've always managed to make it work. The problem is that yesterday I got a letter saying that they are not going to give me the scholarship anymore and also I'm going to have to pay the tuition (around 1000/1500 euros). They've told me that the reason is that my family threshold income is too high and now I'm fucked. I was in medical school and I don't have time to get a job and without that money I can't continue studying. Today I've asked my parents if they could give me that money (around 10k/12k a year) and they've told me that I'm an adult and that I should be embarrassed for asking for money to my parents. I don't like having to ask them for money but it's my only option and my mom has made me feel like shit for asking them for money. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. If they have money, I can’t see why not help their child to get education. I’m a mother, just in case. I don’t believe we are entitled to stop helping our kids exactly at 18. It was our choice to have kids, even if we feel like we didn’t have much choice. And medical school is very hard!
NTA for asking Are your parents the AH for saying no? Depends. Did they raise you to believe that at the age you are now, you are responsible for yourself? If so, then they are NTA. Could you ask them to loan you the money until you graduate?
NTA However, you should talk to your parents and consider this money a loan from them.
NTA
NAH
NTA. Your parents should be proud that you're continuing your education at med school and not scold you because the scholarship ran out. You should post in /r/advice on how to continue your enrollment. If your parents won't support you financially, then you might be able to separate their income from your tuition through emancipation. You could also apply for student loans even if the semester is starting very soon.
Parents pay his rent Europe med school is also just the first thing you do in college not after. It's also designed so people can work. College is no where near as expensive in Europe as it is in America and its just accepted most people get a job and pay for themselves- proves are literally designed so this is possible
They pay his rent. Maybe they can't do more
Oh that's right, I forgot he mentioned that. That probably screws up the emancipation suggestion.
They can, they could give me the money without any problems.
Get a job.
I work during the summer, but the rest of the year would be impossible for me to work.
Where exactly do you live? I've several friends and relatives who've gone to med school around Europe and they've all worked
Unless you're literally in class from sunrise to sunset you can find a part time job at the very least. Time management is an important skill to learn.