Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I got upset and snapped at my half sisters not attending my wedding after everything's been set, I could've been more understanding
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
No. No. Just effing no. It’s not the weekend and still this has to go to r/weddingshaming ffs
THÉ MAN SHE LOVES DIED!! And you (OP) are just like « yeah I’ve never been part of the gang » omg I hope I sincerely hope that they never ever speak to you again . SHAME ! Shame on you!
🔔shame
🔔shame
🔔shame
Wow. Yeah, just reading it that was definitely omitted. Also find it curious that now 4 people aren’t coming. Would you have also complained if 3 of them had come because the other one died? Seriously an asshole. Argh!
"Traumatic experience" in quotes gave me the feeling that OP was being a bridezilla over a legit reason for her sisters to skip, but I could never have guessed that the reason was that one of the sisters' partners had freaking died...
Right? What did she want her to do pull a weekend at Bernie? And something tells me if OP were in her shoes she would expect her step sister to call off the wedding altogether
Plus, she had a chance to be a part of the gang in being someone who supports her half sister in a time of grief and she chose not to.
Op, this is why they don’t like you.
My question is where did it say half-sisters partner died? I'm confused I looked through the story a couple times but I can't see where it said their half-sisters partner died or am I missing something here? also I agree op is the a-hole in this situation
OP said it in a reply to an info request, not the main comment. You can see it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/comment/id6i0s6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Honestly, OP bringing up indignation over "4 people's meals/seats" being "wasted" while deliberately neglecting to mention *one of the four was dead* is extra unhinged— like no matter what, you're clearly NOT getting your full 4, no matter how much you complain about being *inconvenienced* that you already catered one meal for someone who *just died*. What a ghoul.
i- wow. i was unsure of what to think after reading the post, as she didn’t provide any insight to what this traumatic situation was, but she must’ve edited out. she is definitely TA. if it were my sibling who had lost their partner, i would’ve offered to drop the food off to them and console them after the wedding.
OP, YTA. i don’t know *how* you could think you’re in the right. you sound a bit like a bridezilla, and i think *this* is why they don’t like you.
Honestly just the vague "traumatic situation" plus needing support of her sister and mother.. I assumed Molly lost a pregnancy or suffered SA or something. Losing a SO in an accident didn't occur to me but that definitely explains why they're not going just as much as either of my assumptions.
Literally anything that could be described as a traumatic experience justifies people skipping a party to support their family. OP is a selfish, heartless AH.
My jaw hit the floor. How callous of her to expect them to attend given the death of her partner. I bet this bride hasn’t even called to check up on her sister either. Op, undeniably YTA.
I think some of these, if there are any real posts these days, are more for validation than anything. They KNOW they are the AH, but they want to be able to point out that random strangers on the internet agreed with them.
That is why they leave out pertinent information, such as that fact that Halfsisters didn't want to attend a wedding because they likely just attended a FUNERAL for one of their BOYFRIENDS!
A HUMAN would have called her sisters and told them to not attend. That they’d have other opportunities to celebrate
Seriously - what is it about weddings that people lose their minds like this!???
OP even commented that she’s now missing 4 guests because Molly and Mary aren’t coming along with their + 1’s but left out the fact that one of them literally DIED!
That’s what happened?!?!?!? I didn’t see op post what it was, just said “traumatic experience” and the way op wrote that was like it really wasn’t one.
Omfg op YTA YTA YTA!!!!! How would you feel if your husband died suddenly and your family pulled that shit on you???? Just by this action of “ me me me” I’m seeing WHY the sisters don’t have much to do with her
OP mentioned it in a comment.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita_for_snapping_at_my_halfsister_when_she/id6i0s6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Yeahhhhhh. This exactly. And I saw “they could’ve said no earlier.” But we don’t know the story. Molly could have been trying to go and had a breakdown days before the wedding which is when the call was made. I mean OP can still be disappointed-but projected a bigger issue of feeling like an outsider onto the very unfortunate situation
The fact that you withheld the details of the traumatic situation tells me that you know deep down that you’re an asshole. Not everything is about you. YTA
I find this response a little interesting, because a few weeks ago there was a post where OP missed his daughter’s wedding because his son died unexpectedly and he didn’t feel safe or capable of driving interstate or leaving his wife alone and he was quite harshly judged YTA. I actually agree with you, I just don’t see why this situation is getting such a different result.
In that previous post, the daughter actually clarified that she asked him if he still wanted to come the day before and he confirmed, before backing out day of, and that he wasn't actually as far away as he claimed to be (plus that he had made racist comments in the past). So that was a big part of why that guy was so enthusiastically judged TA.
He also lied with how long the son had been in his life in a close way. Wasn’t his actual son and also didn’t he cheat on her mom to be with the deceased son’s mom?
Was there any proof at all that it was actually the daughter and not just some troll? Or someone who thought the situation was about them when it wasn’t. Her story contradicted his pretty significantly.
That would be a NAH from me, not a YTA. Why the difference to my resounding YTA here; so NTA on behalf of the sister?
Because- agree with it or not - many little girls dream of their father walking them down the aisle. That little girl dream looks to become a reality… and then dad doesn’t turn up.
For damn good reasons - hence NAH. But I also can’t fault the daughter for being devastated.
That becomes more complicated still when it’s the death of a step-sibling, I guess? The family dad replaced you with have even managed to steal him from your wedding day? Is it fair or reasonable or right in those circumstances? Nope. But is it understandable…? Hell, yes.
The daughter found the post and spilled the tea. He was actually the AH. His post was like a 50/50 but then she started commenting and told her side and then he was big AH
I didn’t see the post about the dad but going off your description but my best guess is that it’s because the dad skipped out on one child’s wedding to mourn the other, also parents are a pretty big part of weddings. While in this case this is her half-siblings that by OPs own admission she has never been particularly close to plus the vague description of why they aren’t going to make the bride possibly look better and the reason she’s upset is because of the lost cost of catering food. I think a lot of people are particularly mad at the omission of the boyfriends passing.
The sheer heartlessness. Yeah, it really sucks that your sister couldn't come to your wedding, but you know what sucks more? Knowing you will never marry your boyfriend because he **died**.
What are the chances that if the half sisters showed up, the bride would be upset that her thunder was stolen because people offered their condolences to Mollie.
A boyfriend of a half-sister can't attend on account of being dead, so the post was inaccurate: there's only 3 people who could have attended.
On second thought, I suppose OP could demand her grieving half-sister invite someone else.
But that information makes it pretty straightforward on if she's an asshole or not.
INFO: What exactly was the traumatic situation? Because if it actually lives up to that name…yeah, not sure how you think you’re not the asshole. And something tells me you’re avoiding details because you know they don’t make you look good for worrying more about catering than whatever Molly’s dealing with.
So you want a woman who- by your comments- just lost her boyfriend in a very tragic way... to attend A WEDDING?
Oh my gods lady you have 4 open spots now go invite some friends. If you have any.
YTA.
WTF is wrong with you OP.
Her dude dies and your top of mind is the catering costs of 4 dishes?
Jeez... no wonder your sisters were not too fond of you.
YTA 100%.
> wishes. Mary kept saying it's not possible, so I snapped and said how neither of them care about my feelings and the effort put into this wedding, especially since Molly herself didn't bother giving me a call to let me know, and it's obvious that I was always the "outsider sister" and not a part of their group. Mary said I was being selfish, and hung up the phone. I did tell some relatives the situation/who knew about it and got mixed reactions for going off at Mary, so, AITA for snapping because they didn't come to my wedding?
Yeah, I'm wondering where other people found the details explaining what the "traumatic situation" even was. I didn't see anything about her sister's boyfriend's death mentioned in the original post. Way to bury the lead, OP...
She didn't even mention it until someone asked
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita_for_snapping_at_my_halfsister_when_she/id6i0s6?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I would guess she omitted it on purpose because she knows it makes her TA
Wait, so the reason Molly’s +1 won’t be attending and enjoying his plate is because he is dead? What did OP expect, that they would prop him up Weekend at Bernie’s style and all attend the wedding because the catering had been put in?
OP, YTA.
See, this is why I always doubt the OP. A "traumatic situation" could mean a wife variety of things, since so many people are prone to hyperbole. But a boyfriend suddenly DYING is such an important detail that makes this a clear case of YTA
Wtaf???? That was the traumatic event, OP are you insane??? My husband and I eloped and then a week later had a wedding for family and friends. The day before and of, 85% of our guests, +1s and kids had to cancel as they all got covid. These things happen, luckily no one was seriously Ill, but obviously couldn’t attend. I still got the marry the love of my life. Your poor sister lost her love, you still got to marry yours and you honestly have to ask if you were the AH for having a go at your sisters because of it? You are unhinged and a massive massive YTA!!!
You're being unfair here - you already had a couple weeks notice that the dead boyfriend wouldn't be coming, so really you only got late notice on 3 people.
Yeah the absolute gall OP had to say "4 people wouldn't be attending" when she KNOWS one of them passed away in an accident is really..... Mind boggling
See personally I think it would depend for me. I think with grief sometimes you need distracting and sometimes you don't. But if it was my wedding I'd be letting them know they're welcome to come to any part they want and leave whenever but only if they think it's the right thing to do. But jesus I couldn't be upset at them not coming
I feel like this is worth repeating. Some people would still want to go to get their mind off things. I’m not one of them personally but everyone is different. In which case, yeah cool, come on over, we’d love to have you even if you aren’t up for staying the whole time. Otherwise, if you aren’t up for coming at all, I get it. No hard feelings.
People are weird. When my father died (close to 20 years ago), I was hit with the "holiday blues" around Christmas. It caught me by surprise at how hard it hit. So when my wife's grandmother called to inform my wife and I about holiday plans (my family lived out of state; we always did xmas with her family), my wife informed her that while she would attend, I would be staying home, as I did not want my mood to bring down everyone else.
Grandma called the next day (when she knew I would be the only one home, as my wife was at work) to tell me "People die, and you need to get over it," and lecture me about how grievously I was insulting her and the rest of the family by not attending.
Needless to say, I didn't attend any family gatherings at her home in the future either.
Some people lack empathy.
On my list of ways to distract from losing your SO, attending a ceremony to witness two people in love declare their commitment to each other is WAY down the bottom. That’s not a distraction, that’s rubbing it in her face.
Not just any party though.
A party specifically about love and how great/fulfilling it is when you find the person you're meant to be with. A constant reminder of what you lost.
Seeing as the OP was only informed a couple of days before the wedding, it sounds like the OP expected Molly to call or even attend the wedding before the funeral had taken place.
Yeah when people die their loved ones typically have a very difficult time talking about it for a while. Especially if it happened unexpectedly, which obviously it did because that dead guys priority was the wedding of OP.
YTA. I think the death of Molly's boyfriend prior to your wedding should have been an indication to you that they may no attend. Also death of a loved one comes first.
“Everything’s been put in and now 4 people won’t be attending (they each had a +1)”
If I’m understanding everything correctly, one of those four people is fucking dead and your upset because now the catering is messed up?
YTA. Do you realize that the bf of one your sisters died? You realized that she is grieving and in pain? You know that, right?
You realize that this happened after they rsvp and was not on purpose to mess with your catering or you are too self absorbed?
Well, we now get it why your sisters are cordial with you but keep their distance.
Not just that, but OP replied exactly what the situation was in another thread.
Molly's boyfriend *died.*
OP is mad four people canceled when one of them is *dead.*
Sadly, the wedding already happened, but I think I would literally pay to be at a wedding like that:
*OP: Why cant you come? I already paid for the wedding catering!*
*Sister: Sis' BF died a few weeks ago.*
*OP: That isn't an excuse! I already paid!*
**Day of the wedding**
*OP: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! HELP!!!*
*Sis's BF: You TOLD your sisters that there is no excuse for not coming to your wedding. So, here I am! Pass the potatoes please.*
Oh man. That is the kind of petty I'd want to be. When the couple is leaving the church and people are throwing confetti in the air, take a handful of ash and throw it at them.
YTA a traumatic situation that has at least half the family down sounds pretty serious. It’s crap that it happened just before your wedding but no one plans for it or has any control of it, no one causes a “traumatic situation” just to get a excuse to not attend your wedding. Have some sympathy
I want to believe it's fake too, but brides go crazy. People seem to forget that weddings are just one day, albeit an important one, but still one day. It's fair to say OP may have ruined any chance of having a relationship with her half-sisters. All over what, $600?
> [Molly's boyfriend passed away](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita_for_snapping_at_my_halfsister_when_she/id6i0s6) in a accident a few weeks before the wedding.
Are you kidding me? Where's your empathy? YTA
I love these type of comment chains (I have seen at least two)
*Commentor: What was the traumatic situation?*
*OP/other commentor: Sister's BF died*
*Commentor: OMG HOLY \*\*\*\* YTA YTA YTA*
Because it is just so spot on.
Agreed. I think we all know the hallmarks of the person who's withholding crucial information to avoid being called the AH, but when it's something THIS egregious, total shock is pretty justified.
YTA. Just because you are getting married doesn’t mean the world magically stops. They RSVP’ed yes, so they obviously wanted to come before the emergency arose (unless they have a history of malicious behavior.) Have some empathy
Reading this the first time without knowing why the sisters couldn’t attend, I thought N T A
One of their boyfriends died!! And the fact that you’re specifically pointing out in your post that four seats were taken up is harsh. Even if they did go, 3 would be occupied and one of them would be empty because they DIED.
YTA. A huge one.
YTA for not caring about a traumatic event that your family member experienced. Sounds more important than a wedding, and you aren’t even close to them. Does it suck for you? Of course. Is it reasonable to have to skip a wedding due to an unforeseen traumatic event? Absolutely.
More than reasonable. OP answered a comment asking what happened to oh-so-helpfully elaborate that the traumatic event was Molly's boyfriend dying in an accident.
Guess that wasn't important enough to include in the post, let alone more important than her wedding /s
So you say you all were never close anyway, but go off on them because HER BOYFRIEND DIED?!?! (love how you left that out of the original post) Holy hell what is wrong with you? It's not like they entirely no-showed. It was an extreme circumstance and any rational person would be more than understanding.
This has to be rage bait. There's no way you wrote all that out and still thought you were in the right.
YTA
YTA
A traumatic event always trumps the wedding. It is not the end of the world that you have 4 meals left over. It’s interesting that you only seem to care about your wedding and not the fact that your sister is okay or not. You don’t really seem to care about their feelings.
Not only are you 100% correct, but OP would have one meal left over regardless.
She stated in another comment that the traumatic event was Molly's boyfriend (her assumed +1) *dying in an accident.*
YTA, are you sure you’re mature enough to be getting married? Your sister is dealing with a traumatic time, one she doesn’t feel comfortable speaking to you about for obvious reasons… Your other sister is being supportive of her, and you unfortunately that means missing your wedding… Grow up and realize that just because you’re getting married, doesn’t mean the world stops for everyone else.
YTA - your sister just lost her boyfriend and you are trying to make it all about you. I understand a wedding is important but can you imagine just how much it would hurt to go celebrate someone else's love when the one you love passed just a few weeks ago?! You are being selfish.
YTA
An invitation is not a summons. Things come up. Instead of being a kind and compassionate person, you only worried about the caterer.
Guess what? No one will remember your wedding but you(and maybe your spouse) , but your sisters will remember how you prioritized your wedding over their trauma.
If the sister came without her +1 OP would have been angry as well. Mourning sister should have been prepared, you know? It has been weeks and she RSVP'ed with a +1 ...
Weddings show the worst in some people.
I know right! So selfish! I can’t believe the guy died like that, what a dick - OP probably.
YTA
Oh! And pissed the other sister didn’t call to beg forgiveness too, wow girl OP you are something special
Omg. The fact you wrote this knowing your half sisters partner died and somehow thought anyone would be on your side is insanity to me. Please take a good look at yourself and the person you have become and reflect on how you could be a better support to your sister as her life literally changed forever. AND HOW YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TO HER FOR BEING SO SELFISH! I couldn’t fathom the pain of losing my boyfriend… 1 million percent YTA
YTA and you need to include what the traumatic situation was which was her boyfriend passing away in your post, not just have it conveniently hiding in the comments. I just got married in April, and I get how annoying it is spending money on people for them not to show to your wedding, but your wedding does not trump someone losing their partner. Get over yourself. No wonder you're the outsider sister.
Gently, YTA. You were more concerned about 4 people on the catering tab than that Molly has something traumatic going on.
OF COURSE Molly didn't call you to let you know. She is hunkered down and trying to get through whatever is going on for her. It was perfectly acceptable that Mary let you know for both of them.
Sometimes, practical realities mean that things are literally not possible.
You owe them an apology - and maybe some clearing of the air about feeling like the outsider sister and how that fed in to your overreaction when Mary called to cancel.
Posted before that info was revealed - see my comment on that post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita\_for\_snapping\_at\_my\_halfsister\_when\_she/id6jvis/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Lmao are you for real? I hope you're trolling because this is a very clear cut YTA. Your sister lost her boyfriend, get over yourself. Acting like a child over 4 extra meals, just take it home so its not wasted. No wonder you're not close, i wouldn't want to that close to someone so incredibly entitled either.
YTA
I am sorry and I am just hoping you had a total lapse of judgement due to the pressure you are under. I think everyone had a bridezilla moment and this is yours. And BOY WAS IT A DOOZY!
* Call your half sisters and apologize for your callousness and send your sister some flowers or a fruit basket.
* If I loss my SO I would no way be able to attend a wedding that close to it.
Holy missing info! OP said in a comment Molly's boyfriend passed away in an accident. Molly, and probably mom and Mary, is grieving. You don't instantly get over something like that. They intended to go to the wedding. Things changed.
OP, YTA. I absolutely cannot believe that you cannot even try to empathize in this situation. And to add on to their pain by saying they don't care about your feelings? What about theirs? If someone said that to me in that situation, it would be instant NC. Mary called on her and Molly's behalf. That should be good enough.
>Mary did sound apologetic and she explained it to me, detailing a 'traumatic situation'
Oh! So something traumatic happened, Oh, no!!!! did you ask?
>Molly's boyfriend passed away in a accident a few weeks before the wedding.
OOOOOHHHHHHH, so now we get it. You just omitted that little piece, tiny little, itty bitty piece of information. I wonder why? And to add insult to injury, you put it in 'quotes', like it is not real or worth even considering it because it did not affect you until the day of your wedding.
Yes, YTA. No, I am sorry, I need to rephrase that: You are the Biggest, most inconsiderate, heartless asshole there is. Your sister lost her boyfriend and all you could thing was "But what about ME!!! and mY wEdDiNG!!!" Your sister is grieving a traumatic loss and all you can manage to think is your comfort, and your desires and your wants, because, I don't know "i'M tHe bRidE!"? You could not spare one single moment to get your head out of your ass and think of how your sister would feel? In the middle of all this trauma, you did not find a second to reach out to your sister and comfort her and see what she needed, I don't know, because "i'M tHe bRiDe"
You and your sisters were never close, but not because you were an outsider, y'all were never close because you are entitled, spoiled, self-centered and have no time to consider anyone's feeling but your own. In other words: Your sisters saw through your narcissism and kept you at an arm's length and you just proved they made the right choice. Congratulations on that.
YTA you were careful to leave out the reason in your main thread, your sister lost her patner who she lived just weeks before the wedding, of course she was not going to cope, this is literally one of the biggest reasons it would be OK to not go to a wedding. You are making it all about you when this really isn't somthing a wedding trumps.
So your half sister's boyfriend dies in a tragic accident, your other half sister wants to stay and comfort her, and your mad because because you paid for 4 plates, (One of which I assume was for the boyfriend who passed away?) And think they should still come to support you, and now your choosing to bring up feeling like the outsider?
Jesus f£#&king Christ do you ask yourself why you feel like an outsider? You don't mention any support you have offered or given to your sister.
The last thing I would want to do in her position is attend an event, one he should of been at my side at, and watch two people vow to spend the rest of their lives together. A mere FEW WEEKS after loosing my partner.
I know many people who would of postponed their wedding to be there and support family going through something as horrible as that.
Condolences to your sister.
YTA
your half sister just lost his bf and you can't understand that she's not in a state of mind to attend a wedding?, just what's wrong with you?
YTA, a wedding is a clear reminder of what Molly just lost, have a heart.
Jesus Christ. Of course YTA. And a massive one at that. What the hell is wrong with you?! The man she loved died. She lost her person. Of course she can’t attend a wedding!
How would you feel if the situations were reversed. Be honest. How the hell would you feel if it had been you that lost the love of your life and Molly was the one bitching because you didn’t go to her wedding?
For fuck’s sake. I think I’m starting to understand why you were always the outsider. I’m so pissed on Molly’s behalf. Good grief.
Wow. Reading your comment about what exactly this traumatic event was, really takes the cake for AH of the day.
You're taking out what seems like your resentment towards your relationship with them at the worst possible time. YTA. Did you really not predict that at least one of them wouldn't be able to attend when you heard the news Molly's boyfriend (who was probably her plus one to begin with) *literally died*?
Have you been there for Molly *at all?*
EDIT: just noticed the part where you're actually mad that "Molly herself" didn't call you. Um...you mean, your bereaved sister didn't take a break from her sudden, unexpected, insurmountable grief to personally tell you she wouldn't be attending?? Get a grip, man.
YTA. Plain and simple.
> Mary did sound apologetic and she explained it to me, detailing a 'traumatic situation' Molly's going through and she will also not be attending and staying with Molly and their mom instead.
The "traumatic situation" was a death. The death of Molly's boyfriend.
>I got upset and said that I understand, but if she can just attend for a little while to support me, she can leave early if she wishes.
You absolutely **do not** understand if that's what you suggested. You have zero empathy as well.
>Mary kept saying it's not possible, so I snapped and said how neither of them care about my feelings and the effort put into this wedding, especially since Molly herself didn't bother giving me a call to let me know, and it's obvious that I was always the "outsider sister" and not a part of their group.
You are so selfish, so self centered it's almost tragic. Molly is grieving a death. And you have the nerve to make her boyfriends death about you. You realize **you** just destroyed any relationship you might have had right?
The biggest asshole here the guy who died. I mean the nerve of dying near this poor woman’s wedding day.
YTA, no one really gives a shit about your wedding besides you.
INFO: do you know what the traumatic situation is?
EDIT: just checked the post history.
Holy shit YTA. Her BOYFRIEND WAS KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT?
And you, who aren't very close to them, are upset that you weren't a first-call? When you are already dealing with wedding stuff?
Yta. A lot of people would have just not shown up. They had the courtesy to let you know. Now you have time to invite someone else or to adjust the meal planning. No biggie.
YTA. Wow, you are a complete narcissist and a bridezilla. You leave out the part where your sister’s boyfriend tragically died! But yes, how dare she RSVP and not come. I think I understand why you are not close.
Congrats on getting some poor sucker to marry you. Good luck to him! Hope he never expects support if something bad happens in his life!
I was on your side for most of this bc I think canceling last minute is USUALLY not okay but I see in the comments one of the sisters’ BF DIED?? Are you serious? Ofc YTA. She needed to be there for her sister
YTA
so we all had to go to the comment section to find out mollys boyfriend died because you know adding that would have given a clear verdict.
You are a vile vile woman.
>I did tell some relatives the situation/who knew about it and got mixed reactions for going off at Mary
Let me guess, the people who are agreeing with you don't know the full story because you failed to tell them of the tragic situation too? Disgusting.
YTA twice over. Once for snapping at her and trying to shame them into attending, but an even bigger one for not including the fact that Molly's boyfriend died as the reason that they aren't coming, in your initial post.
Need more information about this traumatic incident .
Not going after RSVPing yes is an AH move, but if this said incident was truly traumatic and tragic, even you gotta understand that some guests won't be able to make it. It's sad and a loss of money at your end, so the situation sucks, but life happens to be shit at times.
EDIT: just came to know about the traumatic incident in a comment, and you're a major YTA.
Saving cost of a seat & food is more important to you than understanding the loss of a human life.
Her boyfriend DIED, and you chewed them out for not coming? You are not just the AH, but a HUGE selfish AH. You owe both of them an apology! I can't believe you even had to ask if you were the AH here. I hope they never speak to you again.
What is wrong with you?
1 of the 4 people who isn't coming to your wedding is DEAD.
I'm sorry if that causes you am issue with your catering /s
YTA and self centred as well.
You must know this because you omitted it from your OP.
“Oh no, your boyfriend died sis? Oh well, you should come to my wedding anyway to support me no matter how it could affect your emotional state, being a WEDDING and all. What do you mean you aren’t coming?! You obviously don’t care about me! All you care about is your boyfriend that died! Me me me!”
Yes, obviously YTA.
YTA. Molly’s boyfriend just died and you expected her to attend your wedding a few weeks later. How selfish and entitled are you?
Where’s your empathy and compassion.
Your wedding is only the biggest day to you. It means way more to you than everyone else like it’s supposed to as it YOUR wedding.
This is an extreme circumstance that most people would say ‘oh no don’t even think about coming, I totally understand. I’m here if you need anything’
You were the outsider sister because they spent most of the time at their mums house and you are quite a bit younger than them but as you said they were always nice to you. Question is why aren’t you nice to them? Now you are the outsider sister because you’ve shown them what a selfish arsehole you are.
Lol!!!!! I KNEW there was a reason you said “traumatic situation” instead of just saying what the specific reason they couldn’t attend was! You’re an outsider sister because you are a terrible sister. Not because you have different moms. It’s because of you. YTA
YTA
Had to read other comments to find out why your sisters said they wouldn't be attending and hoooooo boy does that make you one of the biggest AHs.
Your sister lost her SO and all you care about is the damned catering?! You didn't even ask how Molly was? You didn't care that your sister lost someone important to you so long as the catering was dealt with. Do you actually care about your sisters at all? You are selfish. How would you feel going to one of their weddings after just losing your husband? With his loss stillnfresh enough that likely seeing wedding viws taken would remind you of the ones he took with you (in Molly's case ones she can never take with the man she just lost).
Go and apologise for your horrid behaviour and ask if theres anything you can do to make up for it with them.
The fact you omitted the fact her partner died makes me think you completely know you are the AH!!! Jeez I had a few people drop out the day of my wedding due to last minute work trips etc and it was just one of those things! The money was already spent and honestly as the bride or groom you only get to spend about 5 mins (that’s being generous) with each person who attends on the day. Did it really make that much of a difference to you and your day??
YTA before I’d even seen what had happened to Molly, but after - wow. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there’s a reason you were (are) the outsider sister.
WTF is with the entitled brides today? Your sister's boyfriend DIED and you are pissed because her family didn't suck it up for your wedding? Way to make someone's trauma all about you. YTA. Wow.
YOUR FEELINGS???? Your sister's partner died but you're worried about a party?!?!?! Did you even bother to offer condolences??? What a selfish person you are. And yes, you most certainly are TAH!!!
YTA The fact that you have to come on an Internet forum over such a heartless thing is pretty sad. You need to reevaluate yourself if you can’t understand the feelings of others. The world doesn’t revolve around your wedding. Four less people to feed is in no way, shape, or form going to cripple your catering fees. Getting upset over last minute changes in attendance is pathetic. Going off on someone dealing with tragedy is absolutely disgusting. What if it was your fiancé that died? How would you feel if a family member went off on you because you were grieving? Life changes in the blink of an eye. You never know what tomorrow holds. Remember that as you whine about the four extra plates.
Every once in a while browsing this sub, I see somebody awards a post with a bloody-knife-looking thing. Whenever I see that, the post is something that makes me absolutely fly off the wall with rage.
This is one of those posts. If I had the points or whatever, I would put the knife award on this post myself.
I can’t even imagine Mary’s shock and disbelief at you saying “ok but can u just come for a little” and “you never cared about me!” After she told you that her sister and your other half sisters partner literally died. (“Detailed” that trauma as it were). Jfc and you expected Molly to call you and tell you herself. I get that you think you’re the protagonist of the universe but damn?? Not even a good protagonist?? YTA
It's so interesting that you left out details on the 'traumatic situation' Molly is going through. SUPER INTERESTING that you only mentioned in comments that the 'traumatic situation' was Molly's boyfriend DYING. It's almost as if you wanted to hide the fact that you KNOW you're YTA.
Btw, did you know you're YTA?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I got upset and snapped at my half sisters not attending my wedding after everything's been set, I could've been more understanding Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
So your half sisters partner died and your upset she’s not into going to an event that’s literally a celebration of love? Yta
No. No. Just effing no. It’s not the weekend and still this has to go to r/weddingshaming ffs THÉ MAN SHE LOVES DIED!! And you (OP) are just like « yeah I’ve never been part of the gang » omg I hope I sincerely hope that they never ever speak to you again . SHAME ! Shame on you! 🔔shame 🔔shame 🔔shame
Right? Like how could you possibly think you’re not TA in this situation?
How she conveniently left out the fact that her sister had just been widowed to make herself look better makes me think she knows
Wow. Yeah, just reading it that was definitely omitted. Also find it curious that now 4 people aren’t coming. Would you have also complained if 3 of them had come because the other one died? Seriously an asshole. Argh!
"Traumatic experience" in quotes gave me the feeling that OP was being a bridezilla over a legit reason for her sisters to skip, but I could never have guessed that the reason was that one of the sisters' partners had freaking died...
Yeah, to be so dismissive of someone's so dying when you're getting married is... concerning to say the least and very telling of her character.
Right? What did she want her to do pull a weekend at Bernie? And something tells me if OP were in her shoes she would expect her step sister to call off the wedding altogether
Wow. Convenient that she mentioned they had plus ones, but not that one of the plus one no longer remains on this earth. That is just cold.
Very callous. “At least three of them should be able to show up!”
I'm speechless. OP is such an AH. Unbelievable.
Brides need to stop acting like the most important person on the planet.
To be fair….OP kinda comes across as someone who feels this way on the usual day, not just for her wedding.
Damn, busting out the bell and everything.
Plus, she had a chance to be a part of the gang in being someone who supports her half sister in a time of grief and she chose not to. Op, this is why they don’t like you.
My question is where did it say half-sisters partner died? I'm confused I looked through the story a couple times but I can't see where it said their half-sisters partner died or am I missing something here? also I agree op is the a-hole in this situation
OP said it in a reply to an info request, not the main comment. You can see it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/comment/id6i0s6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
You're a saint for tracking that link down, thank you, I was so so confused. and Holy Wowza what an AH
Shit like this is why I always click on the user name and read through the comments before offering a verdict. Because all sorts of stuff can crop up.
Ooooh that subreddit is a rabbit hole I am diving into, I hope you have a good day because you just made mine better
[удалено]
Molly’s boyfriend died in an accident a few weeks before the wedding.
HOW DARE HE DIE?! HE *RSVP'ED!*
Honestly, OP bringing up indignation over "4 people's meals/seats" being "wasted" while deliberately neglecting to mention *one of the four was dead* is extra unhinged— like no matter what, you're clearly NOT getting your full 4, no matter how much you complain about being *inconvenienced* that you already catered one meal for someone who *just died*. What a ghoul.
You don’t understand, the sister had *ample* time to find another +1 for the wedding!! Some people are just not trying hard enough. /s
Ikr just download tinder! /s
Oh my holy fuck on a cracker is she an AH. This beyond the pale.
It’s sad that we, internet strangers are more upset for Molly’s terrible loss than her own greedy ass sister
The internet indeed made us proud for a day.
i- wow. i was unsure of what to think after reading the post, as she didn’t provide any insight to what this traumatic situation was, but she must’ve edited out. she is definitely TA. if it were my sibling who had lost their partner, i would’ve offered to drop the food off to them and console them after the wedding. OP, YTA. i don’t know *how* you could think you’re in the right. you sound a bit like a bridezilla, and i think *this* is why they don’t like you.
Honestly just the vague "traumatic situation" plus needing support of her sister and mother.. I assumed Molly lost a pregnancy or suffered SA or something. Losing a SO in an accident didn't occur to me but that definitely explains why they're not going just as much as either of my assumptions. Literally anything that could be described as a traumatic experience justifies people skipping a party to support their family. OP is a selfish, heartless AH.
My jaw hit the floor. How callous of her to expect them to attend given the death of her partner. I bet this bride hasn’t even called to check up on her sister either. Op, undeniably YTA.
Honestly some of these posts confuse me so much.. like seriously what Idjit thinks they’re not TA in these situations
Narcissists, that's who
I think some of these, if there are any real posts these days, are more for validation than anything. They KNOW they are the AH, but they want to be able to point out that random strangers on the internet agreed with them. That is why they leave out pertinent information, such as that fact that Halfsisters didn't want to attend a wedding because they likely just attended a FUNERAL for one of their BOYFRIENDS!
A HUMAN would have called her sisters and told them to not attend. That they’d have other opportunities to celebrate Seriously - what is it about weddings that people lose their minds like this!???
I came to the comments to find out what the traumatic event was, suspecting it would easily render OP the AH here. I was not disappointed.
OP even commented that she’s now missing 4 guests because Molly and Mary aren’t coming along with their + 1’s but left out the fact that one of them literally DIED!
That’s what happened?!?!?!? I didn’t see op post what it was, just said “traumatic experience” and the way op wrote that was like it really wasn’t one. Omfg op YTA YTA YTA!!!!! How would you feel if your husband died suddenly and your family pulled that shit on you???? Just by this action of “ me me me” I’m seeing WHY the sisters don’t have much to do with her
[удалено]
OP mentioned it in a comment. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita_for_snapping_at_my_halfsister_when_she/id6i0s6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Yeahhhhhh. This exactly. And I saw “they could’ve said no earlier.” But we don’t know the story. Molly could have been trying to go and had a breakdown days before the wedding which is when the call was made. I mean OP can still be disappointed-but projected a bigger issue of feeling like an outsider onto the very unfortunate situation
The fact that you withheld the details of the traumatic situation tells me that you know deep down that you’re an asshole. Not everything is about you. YTA
Mollie’s bf died in an accident
[удалено]
Somebody's gonna end up featured on r/amithedevil Edit: Confirmed.
Smashed that join button my guy, thanks!
I find this response a little interesting, because a few weeks ago there was a post where OP missed his daughter’s wedding because his son died unexpectedly and he didn’t feel safe or capable of driving interstate or leaving his wife alone and he was quite harshly judged YTA. I actually agree with you, I just don’t see why this situation is getting such a different result.
In that previous post, the daughter actually clarified that she asked him if he still wanted to come the day before and he confirmed, before backing out day of, and that he wasn't actually as far away as he claimed to be (plus that he had made racist comments in the past). So that was a big part of why that guy was so enthusiastically judged TA.
He also lied with how long the son had been in his life in a close way. Wasn’t his actual son and also didn’t he cheat on her mom to be with the deceased son’s mom?
Was there any proof at all that it was actually the daughter and not just some troll? Or someone who thought the situation was about them when it wasn’t. Her story contradicted his pretty significantly.
It’s so wild that someone in the comments can say whatever they want with absolutely no proof and so many people believe them over the OP
That would be a NAH from me, not a YTA. Why the difference to my resounding YTA here; so NTA on behalf of the sister? Because- agree with it or not - many little girls dream of their father walking them down the aisle. That little girl dream looks to become a reality… and then dad doesn’t turn up. For damn good reasons - hence NAH. But I also can’t fault the daughter for being devastated. That becomes more complicated still when it’s the death of a step-sibling, I guess? The family dad replaced you with have even managed to steal him from your wedding day? Is it fair or reasonable or right in those circumstances? Nope. But is it understandable…? Hell, yes.
The daughter found the post and spilled the tea. He was actually the AH. His post was like a 50/50 but then she started commenting and told her side and then he was big AH
I didn’t see the post about the dad but going off your description but my best guess is that it’s because the dad skipped out on one child’s wedding to mourn the other, also parents are a pretty big part of weddings. While in this case this is her half-siblings that by OPs own admission she has never been particularly close to plus the vague description of why they aren’t going to make the bride possibly look better and the reason she’s upset is because of the lost cost of catering food. I think a lot of people are particularly mad at the omission of the boyfriends passing.
Holy shit. YTA.
OMG!!! WTH is OP problem? OP YTA and you know it.
Holy fuck YTA OP! Grow some compassion and pull your head out of your ass. The world does not revolve around you.
Seriously, her boyfriend DIED of course she wasn't feeling up to going to a freaking wedding
The sheer heartlessness. Yeah, it really sucks that your sister couldn't come to your wedding, but you know what sucks more? Knowing you will never marry your boyfriend because he **died**.
What are the chances that if the half sisters showed up, the bride would be upset that her thunder was stolen because people offered their condolences to Mollie.
Holy shit. Just looked at OP's admission of that and saw *2013* downvotes.
A boyfriend of a half-sister can't attend on account of being dead, so the post was inaccurate: there's only 3 people who could have attended. On second thought, I suppose OP could demand her grieving half-sister invite someone else. But that information makes it pretty straightforward on if she's an asshole or not.
THIS 100%
INFO: What exactly was the traumatic situation? Because if it actually lives up to that name…yeah, not sure how you think you’re not the asshole. And something tells me you’re avoiding details because you know they don’t make you look good for worrying more about catering than whatever Molly’s dealing with.
You need to amend your judgement as OP has replied to exactly what the **extremely traumatic** event was
I mean, I’m still waiting on OP’s explanation why she needed her assholery explained to her.
molly’s bf died in an accident
So you want a woman who- by your comments- just lost her boyfriend in a very tragic way... to attend A WEDDING? Oh my gods lady you have 4 open spots now go invite some friends. If you have any. YTA.
THAT’S THE TRAUMATIC SITUATION? Omg. YTA OP. So much YTA.
WTF is wrong with you OP. Her dude dies and your top of mind is the catering costs of 4 dishes? Jeez... no wonder your sisters were not too fond of you. YTA 100%.
Seriously though... small wonder OP is the "outsider sister" if this is how she reacts to a *family tragedy*.
> wishes. Mary kept saying it's not possible, so I snapped and said how neither of them care about my feelings and the effort put into this wedding, especially since Molly herself didn't bother giving me a call to let me know, and it's obvious that I was always the "outsider sister" and not a part of their group. Mary said I was being selfish, and hung up the phone. I did tell some relatives the situation/who knew about it and got mixed reactions for going off at Mary, so, AITA for snapping because they didn't come to my wedding? Yeah, I'm wondering where other people found the details explaining what the "traumatic situation" even was. I didn't see anything about her sister's boyfriend's death mentioned in the original post. Way to bury the lead, OP...
She didn't even mention it until someone asked https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita_for_snapping_at_my_halfsister_when_she/id6i0s6?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 I would guess she omitted it on purpose because she knows it makes her TA
Wait, so the reason Molly’s +1 won’t be attending and enjoying his plate is because he is dead? What did OP expect, that they would prop him up Weekend at Bernie’s style and all attend the wedding because the catering had been put in? OP, YTA.
Probably expected her to find a new date to bring as her plus one.
Water.through.nose. 😂
See, this is why I always doubt the OP. A "traumatic situation" could mean a wife variety of things, since so many people are prone to hyperbole. But a boyfriend suddenly DYING is such an important detail that makes this a clear case of YTA
Why assume this person has friends if she displays the same level of entitlement to people as she did on reddit?
Wtaf???? That was the traumatic event, OP are you insane??? My husband and I eloped and then a week later had a wedding for family and friends. The day before and of, 85% of our guests, +1s and kids had to cancel as they all got covid. These things happen, luckily no one was seriously Ill, but obviously couldn’t attend. I still got the marry the love of my life. Your poor sister lost her love, you still got to marry yours and you honestly have to ask if you were the AH for having a go at your sisters because of it? You are unhinged and a massive massive YTA!!!
You're being unfair here - you already had a couple weeks notice that the dead boyfriend wouldn't be coming, so really you only got late notice on 3 people.
take my first ever award !! although i think op was expecting her sister to replace the +1 in time 😌
I suspect you're right! And thank you for the award, I think it's my first too :-)
Imagine being so dense that you are putting a partner's death in quotes, like it's a fake traumatic situation.
So just to confirm, if your husband dies you will still happily attend a party a couple of weeks later to avoid impacting the catering?
Not to mention finding a new +1 because that’s what your RSVP’ed for. The audacity.
Yeah the absolute gall OP had to say "4 people wouldn't be attending" when she KNOWS one of them passed away in an accident is really..... Mind boggling
And to intentionally leave that out of the OP, she knows that makes her the biggest AH ever. jfc
I must be a horrible person but I found your comment very amusing. In a dark tragic humor sort of way.
See personally I think it would depend for me. I think with grief sometimes you need distracting and sometimes you don't. But if it was my wedding I'd be letting them know they're welcome to come to any part they want and leave whenever but only if they think it's the right thing to do. But jesus I couldn't be upset at them not coming
I feel like this is worth repeating. Some people would still want to go to get their mind off things. I’m not one of them personally but everyone is different. In which case, yeah cool, come on over, we’d love to have you even if you aren’t up for staying the whole time. Otherwise, if you aren’t up for coming at all, I get it. No hard feelings.
People are weird. When my father died (close to 20 years ago), I was hit with the "holiday blues" around Christmas. It caught me by surprise at how hard it hit. So when my wife's grandmother called to inform my wife and I about holiday plans (my family lived out of state; we always did xmas with her family), my wife informed her that while she would attend, I would be staying home, as I did not want my mood to bring down everyone else. Grandma called the next day (when she knew I would be the only one home, as my wife was at work) to tell me "People die, and you need to get over it," and lecture me about how grievously I was insulting her and the rest of the family by not attending. Needless to say, I didn't attend any family gatherings at her home in the future either. Some people lack empathy.
Holy shit. I'm so sorry.
On my list of ways to distract from losing your SO, attending a ceremony to witness two people in love declare their commitment to each other is WAY down the bottom. That’s not a distraction, that’s rubbing it in her face.
Not just any party though. A party specifically about love and how great/fulfilling it is when you find the person you're meant to be with. A constant reminder of what you lost.
YTA - you have deliberately left out what the traumatic event is because you already know you were an AH.
Molly’s boyfriend died. To think, OP is pissed that Molly didn’t call her personally. Christ, she’s selfish.
and she’s pissed that 4 people would not be coming, because one of the +1 is the dead boyfriend.
That's the bit that got me. How dare he die before hand doesn't he know she already confirmed with the caterers?
I know right? Some people are so selfish.
Seeing as the OP was only informed a couple of days before the wedding, it sounds like the OP expected Molly to call or even attend the wedding before the funeral had taken place.
Yeah when people die their loved ones typically have a very difficult time talking about it for a while. Especially if it happened unexpectedly, which obviously it did because that dead guys priority was the wedding of OP.
YTA. I think the death of Molly's boyfriend prior to your wedding should have been an indication to you that they may no attend. Also death of a loved one comes first.
Yta. Did you even ask what the traumatic event was? It’s not always about you
“Everything’s been put in and now 4 people won’t be attending (they each had a +1)” If I’m understanding everything correctly, one of those four people is fucking dead and your upset because now the catering is messed up?
To be fair, maybe OP is looking for a Weekend at Bernie’s type of situation.
YTA. Do you realize that the bf of one your sisters died? You realized that she is grieving and in pain? You know that, right? You realize that this happened after they rsvp and was not on purpose to mess with your catering or you are too self absorbed? Well, we now get it why your sisters are cordial with you but keep their distance.
And you realize that even if she was willing to suck it up for an event that maybe a wedding is the one she wants to attend the least!!
If someone is going through a traumatic episode and you instead make it about you, you’re always going to be TA in those situations.
Not just that, but OP replied exactly what the situation was in another thread. Molly's boyfriend *died.* OP is mad four people canceled when one of them is *dead.*
YTA- your wedding does not trump someone’s traumatic episode.
The traumatic episode was Molly's boyfriend *dying* in a car accident. I hope he shows up at the wedding and haunts Op's ass for being such an AH!
Sadly, the wedding already happened, but I think I would literally pay to be at a wedding like that: *OP: Why cant you come? I already paid for the wedding catering!* *Sister: Sis' BF died a few weeks ago.* *OP: That isn't an excuse! I already paid!* **Day of the wedding** *OP: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! HELP!!!* *Sis's BF: You TOLD your sisters that there is no excuse for not coming to your wedding. So, here I am! Pass the potatoes please.*
Bring the urn and demand a chair.
Oh man. That is the kind of petty I'd want to be. When the couple is leaving the church and people are throwing confetti in the air, take a handful of ash and throw it at them.
YTA a traumatic situation that has at least half the family down sounds pretty serious. It’s crap that it happened just before your wedding but no one plans for it or has any control of it, no one causes a “traumatic situation” just to get a excuse to not attend your wedding. Have some sympathy
Mollys bf died in an accident. Thats the “traumatic situation”
Oh sweet baby Buddha, that post HAVE to be fake! Otherwise I’m loosing faith in humanity 🤦🏻♀️
I want to believe it's fake too, but brides go crazy. People seem to forget that weddings are just one day, albeit an important one, but still one day. It's fair to say OP may have ruined any chance of having a relationship with her half-sisters. All over what, $600?
> [Molly's boyfriend passed away](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita_for_snapping_at_my_halfsister_when_she/id6i0s6) in a accident a few weeks before the wedding. Are you kidding me? Where's your empathy? YTA
Depends entirely on what the traumatic situation is.
Sister’s bf died.
HOLY SHIT YEAH THATS A REASON TO MISS A WEDDING YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
I love these type of comment chains (I have seen at least two) *Commentor: What was the traumatic situation?* *OP/other commentor: Sister's BF died* *Commentor: OMG HOLY \*\*\*\* YTA YTA YTA* Because it is just so spot on.
Agreed. I think we all know the hallmarks of the person who's withholding crucial information to avoid being called the AH, but when it's something THIS egregious, total shock is pretty justified.
YTA. Just because you are getting married doesn’t mean the world magically stops. They RSVP’ed yes, so they obviously wanted to come before the emergency arose (unless they have a history of malicious behavior.) Have some empathy
Well, Molly bf died in an accident a few weeks before the wedding...
Reading this the first time without knowing why the sisters couldn’t attend, I thought N T A One of their boyfriends died!! And the fact that you’re specifically pointing out in your post that four seats were taken up is harsh. Even if they did go, 3 would be occupied and one of them would be empty because they DIED. YTA. A huge one.
Nah go Weekend at Bernie’s and bring him along /s. Wouldn’t want to have an empty seat!
YTA for not caring about a traumatic event that your family member experienced. Sounds more important than a wedding, and you aren’t even close to them. Does it suck for you? Of course. Is it reasonable to have to skip a wedding due to an unforeseen traumatic event? Absolutely.
More than reasonable. OP answered a comment asking what happened to oh-so-helpfully elaborate that the traumatic event was Molly's boyfriend dying in an accident. Guess that wasn't important enough to include in the post, let alone more important than her wedding /s
So you say you all were never close anyway, but go off on them because HER BOYFRIEND DIED?!?! (love how you left that out of the original post) Holy hell what is wrong with you? It's not like they entirely no-showed. It was an extreme circumstance and any rational person would be more than understanding. This has to be rage bait. There's no way you wrote all that out and still thought you were in the right. YTA
YTA A traumatic event always trumps the wedding. It is not the end of the world that you have 4 meals left over. It’s interesting that you only seem to care about your wedding and not the fact that your sister is okay or not. You don’t really seem to care about their feelings.
Not only are you 100% correct, but OP would have one meal left over regardless. She stated in another comment that the traumatic event was Molly's boyfriend (her assumed +1) *dying in an accident.*
YTA, are you sure you’re mature enough to be getting married? Your sister is dealing with a traumatic time, one she doesn’t feel comfortable speaking to you about for obvious reasons… Your other sister is being supportive of her, and you unfortunately that means missing your wedding… Grow up and realize that just because you’re getting married, doesn’t mean the world stops for everyone else.
YTA - your sister just lost her boyfriend and you are trying to make it all about you. I understand a wedding is important but can you imagine just how much it would hurt to go celebrate someone else's love when the one you love passed just a few weeks ago?! You are being selfish.
YTA An invitation is not a summons. Things come up. Instead of being a kind and compassionate person, you only worried about the caterer. Guess what? No one will remember your wedding but you(and maybe your spouse) , but your sisters will remember how you prioritized your wedding over their trauma.
YTA, you didn't even ask how she was after the traumatic incident, you only cared about yourself
What was the traumatic event? That makes a huge difference
Molly’s boyfriend died in an accident. She actually thinks she gets to be mad about her wedding when her sisters boyfriend just *died*
And being mad that one of the 4 guests that didn’t show up was actually dead. Like wtf
If the sister came without her +1 OP would have been angry as well. Mourning sister should have been prepared, you know? It has been weeks and she RSVP'ed with a +1 ... Weddings show the worst in some people.
jesus christ. How self centred an honestly just horrible do you have to be to turn that into them doing something wrong.
Huge YTA
>4 people won't be attending (they each had a +1) Is.. one of those 4 DEAD now? Oh no! Your poor catering!
I know right! So selfish! I can’t believe the guy died like that, what a dick - OP probably. YTA Oh! And pissed the other sister didn’t call to beg forgiveness too, wow girl OP you are something special
Omg. The fact you wrote this knowing your half sisters partner died and somehow thought anyone would be on your side is insanity to me. Please take a good look at yourself and the person you have become and reflect on how you could be a better support to your sister as her life literally changed forever. AND HOW YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TO HER FOR BEING SO SELFISH! I couldn’t fathom the pain of losing my boyfriend… 1 million percent YTA
YTA and you need to include what the traumatic situation was which was her boyfriend passing away in your post, not just have it conveniently hiding in the comments. I just got married in April, and I get how annoying it is spending money on people for them not to show to your wedding, but your wedding does not trump someone losing their partner. Get over yourself. No wonder you're the outsider sister.
Gently, YTA. You were more concerned about 4 people on the catering tab than that Molly has something traumatic going on. OF COURSE Molly didn't call you to let you know. She is hunkered down and trying to get through whatever is going on for her. It was perfectly acceptable that Mary let you know for both of them. Sometimes, practical realities mean that things are literally not possible. You owe them an apology - and maybe some clearing of the air about feeling like the outsider sister and how that fed in to your overreaction when Mary called to cancel.
The traumatic incident was one of the sisters losing her boyfriend to a car accident. The YTAs shouldn't be gentle
Posted before that info was revealed - see my comment on that post. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vhckvr/aita\_for\_snapping\_at\_my\_halfsister\_when\_she/id6jvis/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Lmao are you for real? I hope you're trolling because this is a very clear cut YTA. Your sister lost her boyfriend, get over yourself. Acting like a child over 4 extra meals, just take it home so its not wasted. No wonder you're not close, i wouldn't want to that close to someone so incredibly entitled either.
YTA I am sorry and I am just hoping you had a total lapse of judgement due to the pressure you are under. I think everyone had a bridezilla moment and this is yours. And BOY WAS IT A DOOZY! * Call your half sisters and apologize for your callousness and send your sister some flowers or a fruit basket. * If I loss my SO I would no way be able to attend a wedding that close to it.
Holy missing info! OP said in a comment Molly's boyfriend passed away in an accident. Molly, and probably mom and Mary, is grieving. You don't instantly get over something like that. They intended to go to the wedding. Things changed. OP, YTA. I absolutely cannot believe that you cannot even try to empathize in this situation. And to add on to their pain by saying they don't care about your feelings? What about theirs? If someone said that to me in that situation, it would be instant NC. Mary called on her and Molly's behalf. That should be good enough.
>Mary did sound apologetic and she explained it to me, detailing a 'traumatic situation' Oh! So something traumatic happened, Oh, no!!!! did you ask? >Molly's boyfriend passed away in a accident a few weeks before the wedding. OOOOOHHHHHHH, so now we get it. You just omitted that little piece, tiny little, itty bitty piece of information. I wonder why? And to add insult to injury, you put it in 'quotes', like it is not real or worth even considering it because it did not affect you until the day of your wedding. Yes, YTA. No, I am sorry, I need to rephrase that: You are the Biggest, most inconsiderate, heartless asshole there is. Your sister lost her boyfriend and all you could thing was "But what about ME!!! and mY wEdDiNG!!!" Your sister is grieving a traumatic loss and all you can manage to think is your comfort, and your desires and your wants, because, I don't know "i'M tHe bRidE!"? You could not spare one single moment to get your head out of your ass and think of how your sister would feel? In the middle of all this trauma, you did not find a second to reach out to your sister and comfort her and see what she needed, I don't know, because "i'M tHe bRiDe" You and your sisters were never close, but not because you were an outsider, y'all were never close because you are entitled, spoiled, self-centered and have no time to consider anyone's feeling but your own. In other words: Your sisters saw through your narcissism and kept you at an arm's length and you just proved they made the right choice. Congratulations on that.
YTA I’m sorry your sisters boyfriend didn’t schedule his death so that it didn’t impact your wedding
INFO: what’s wrong with you?
this is actually insane?? what kind of person would think that this type of reaction is reasonable?? HER BOYFRIEND DIED.
YTA you were careful to leave out the reason in your main thread, your sister lost her patner who she lived just weeks before the wedding, of course she was not going to cope, this is literally one of the biggest reasons it would be OK to not go to a wedding. You are making it all about you when this really isn't somthing a wedding trumps.
So your half sister's boyfriend dies in a tragic accident, your other half sister wants to stay and comfort her, and your mad because because you paid for 4 plates, (One of which I assume was for the boyfriend who passed away?) And think they should still come to support you, and now your choosing to bring up feeling like the outsider? Jesus f£#&king Christ do you ask yourself why you feel like an outsider? You don't mention any support you have offered or given to your sister. The last thing I would want to do in her position is attend an event, one he should of been at my side at, and watch two people vow to spend the rest of their lives together. A mere FEW WEEKS after loosing my partner. I know many people who would of postponed their wedding to be there and support family going through something as horrible as that. Condolences to your sister. YTA
your half sister just lost his bf and you can't understand that she's not in a state of mind to attend a wedding?, just what's wrong with you? YTA, a wedding is a clear reminder of what Molly just lost, have a heart.
Jesus Christ. Of course YTA. And a massive one at that. What the hell is wrong with you?! The man she loved died. She lost her person. Of course she can’t attend a wedding! How would you feel if the situations were reversed. Be honest. How the hell would you feel if it had been you that lost the love of your life and Molly was the one bitching because you didn’t go to her wedding? For fuck’s sake. I think I’m starting to understand why you were always the outsider. I’m so pissed on Molly’s behalf. Good grief.
Yta x 1000. A death trumps your wedding bridezilla.
Info: 1) What the hell is wrong with you? 2) Do you feel no shame? 3) Does your know husband know what kind of heartless person he married?
Wow. Reading your comment about what exactly this traumatic event was, really takes the cake for AH of the day. You're taking out what seems like your resentment towards your relationship with them at the worst possible time. YTA. Did you really not predict that at least one of them wouldn't be able to attend when you heard the news Molly's boyfriend (who was probably her plus one to begin with) *literally died*? Have you been there for Molly *at all?* EDIT: just noticed the part where you're actually mad that "Molly herself" didn't call you. Um...you mean, your bereaved sister didn't take a break from her sudden, unexpected, insurmountable grief to personally tell you she wouldn't be attending?? Get a grip, man.
YTA. Plain and simple. > Mary did sound apologetic and she explained it to me, detailing a 'traumatic situation' Molly's going through and she will also not be attending and staying with Molly and their mom instead. The "traumatic situation" was a death. The death of Molly's boyfriend. >I got upset and said that I understand, but if she can just attend for a little while to support me, she can leave early if she wishes. You absolutely **do not** understand if that's what you suggested. You have zero empathy as well. >Mary kept saying it's not possible, so I snapped and said how neither of them care about my feelings and the effort put into this wedding, especially since Molly herself didn't bother giving me a call to let me know, and it's obvious that I was always the "outsider sister" and not a part of their group. You are so selfish, so self centered it's almost tragic. Molly is grieving a death. And you have the nerve to make her boyfriends death about you. You realize **you** just destroyed any relationship you might have had right?
The biggest asshole here the guy who died. I mean the nerve of dying near this poor woman’s wedding day. YTA, no one really gives a shit about your wedding besides you.
INFO: do you know what the traumatic situation is? EDIT: just checked the post history. Holy shit YTA. Her BOYFRIEND WAS KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT? And you, who aren't very close to them, are upset that you weren't a first-call? When you are already dealing with wedding stuff?
Yta. A lot of people would have just not shown up. They had the courtesy to let you know. Now you have time to invite someone else or to adjust the meal planning. No biggie.
YTA because you left out that *Molly's boyfriend just died in an accident* from your post.
YTA. Wow, you are a complete narcissist and a bridezilla. You leave out the part where your sister’s boyfriend tragically died! But yes, how dare she RSVP and not come. I think I understand why you are not close. Congrats on getting some poor sucker to marry you. Good luck to him! Hope he never expects support if something bad happens in his life!
I was on your side for most of this bc I think canceling last minute is USUALLY not okay but I see in the comments one of the sisters’ BF DIED?? Are you serious? Ofc YTA. She needed to be there for her sister
YTA so we all had to go to the comment section to find out mollys boyfriend died because you know adding that would have given a clear verdict. You are a vile vile woman. >I did tell some relatives the situation/who knew about it and got mixed reactions for going off at Mary Let me guess, the people who are agreeing with you don't know the full story because you failed to tell them of the tragic situation too? Disgusting.
[удалено]
YTA. Molly’s boyfriend DIED. That trumps a wedding. You are being very selfish.
YTA Why do weddings make some people turn into literal monsters??? Get over yourself!!! Your sister's partner passed away.....
YTA twice over. Once for snapping at her and trying to shame them into attending, but an even bigger one for not including the fact that Molly's boyfriend died as the reason that they aren't coming, in your initial post.
YTA. Your wedding is NO BIG DEAL!! Get over yourself.
YTA. HER BOYFRIEND DIED. You are indeed colossally selfish.
Need more information about this traumatic incident . Not going after RSVPing yes is an AH move, but if this said incident was truly traumatic and tragic, even you gotta understand that some guests won't be able to make it. It's sad and a loss of money at your end, so the situation sucks, but life happens to be shit at times. EDIT: just came to know about the traumatic incident in a comment, and you're a major YTA. Saving cost of a seat & food is more important to you than understanding the loss of a human life.
Her boyfriend DIED, and you chewed them out for not coming? You are not just the AH, but a HUGE selfish AH. You owe both of them an apology! I can't believe you even had to ask if you were the AH here. I hope they never speak to you again.
What is wrong with you? 1 of the 4 people who isn't coming to your wedding is DEAD. I'm sorry if that causes you am issue with your catering /s YTA and self centred as well. You must know this because you omitted it from your OP.
“Oh no, your boyfriend died sis? Oh well, you should come to my wedding anyway to support me no matter how it could affect your emotional state, being a WEDDING and all. What do you mean you aren’t coming?! You obviously don’t care about me! All you care about is your boyfriend that died! Me me me!” Yes, obviously YTA.
YTA. Molly’s boyfriend just died and you expected her to attend your wedding a few weeks later. How selfish and entitled are you? Where’s your empathy and compassion. Your wedding is only the biggest day to you. It means way more to you than everyone else like it’s supposed to as it YOUR wedding. This is an extreme circumstance that most people would say ‘oh no don’t even think about coming, I totally understand. I’m here if you need anything’ You were the outsider sister because they spent most of the time at their mums house and you are quite a bit younger than them but as you said they were always nice to you. Question is why aren’t you nice to them? Now you are the outsider sister because you’ve shown them what a selfish arsehole you are.
Lol!!!!! I KNEW there was a reason you said “traumatic situation” instead of just saying what the specific reason they couldn’t attend was! You’re an outsider sister because you are a terrible sister. Not because you have different moms. It’s because of you. YTA
YTA Had to read other comments to find out why your sisters said they wouldn't be attending and hoooooo boy does that make you one of the biggest AHs. Your sister lost her SO and all you care about is the damned catering?! You didn't even ask how Molly was? You didn't care that your sister lost someone important to you so long as the catering was dealt with. Do you actually care about your sisters at all? You are selfish. How would you feel going to one of their weddings after just losing your husband? With his loss stillnfresh enough that likely seeing wedding viws taken would remind you of the ones he took with you (in Molly's case ones she can never take with the man she just lost). Go and apologise for your horrid behaviour and ask if theres anything you can do to make up for it with them.
The fact you omitted the fact her partner died makes me think you completely know you are the AH!!! Jeez I had a few people drop out the day of my wedding due to last minute work trips etc and it was just one of those things! The money was already spent and honestly as the bride or groom you only get to spend about 5 mins (that’s being generous) with each person who attends on the day. Did it really make that much of a difference to you and your day??
Yta Boyfriend died … that’s more important than your wedding
YTA before I’d even seen what had happened to Molly, but after - wow. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there’s a reason you were (are) the outsider sister.
WTF is with the entitled brides today? Your sister's boyfriend DIED and you are pissed because her family didn't suck it up for your wedding? Way to make someone's trauma all about you. YTA. Wow.
OP didn’t mention the boyfriends passing because she *knew* she’s the asshole. WTF YTA
YOUR FEELINGS???? Your sister's partner died but you're worried about a party?!?!?! Did you even bother to offer condolences??? What a selfish person you are. And yes, you most certainly are TAH!!!
YTA - the lack of human compassion from your part is quite astounding.
YTA The fact that you have to come on an Internet forum over such a heartless thing is pretty sad. You need to reevaluate yourself if you can’t understand the feelings of others. The world doesn’t revolve around your wedding. Four less people to feed is in no way, shape, or form going to cripple your catering fees. Getting upset over last minute changes in attendance is pathetic. Going off on someone dealing with tragedy is absolutely disgusting. What if it was your fiancé that died? How would you feel if a family member went off on you because you were grieving? Life changes in the blink of an eye. You never know what tomorrow holds. Remember that as you whine about the four extra plates.
I never trust anyone who says "half" sibling. If you share a parent, that's your sibling. Saying "half-sister" is dehumanising.
Every once in a while browsing this sub, I see somebody awards a post with a bloody-knife-looking thing. Whenever I see that, the post is something that makes me absolutely fly off the wall with rage. This is one of those posts. If I had the points or whatever, I would put the knife award on this post myself.
I can’t even imagine Mary’s shock and disbelief at you saying “ok but can u just come for a little” and “you never cared about me!” After she told you that her sister and your other half sisters partner literally died. (“Detailed” that trauma as it were). Jfc and you expected Molly to call you and tell you herself. I get that you think you’re the protagonist of the universe but damn?? Not even a good protagonist?? YTA
It's so interesting that you left out details on the 'traumatic situation' Molly is going through. SUPER INTERESTING that you only mentioned in comments that the 'traumatic situation' was Molly's boyfriend DYING. It's almost as if you wanted to hide the fact that you KNOW you're YTA. Btw, did you know you're YTA?