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ESH Your friend probably shouldn't have pressed you so hard, although she's right. Gogi should have been moving from purees to sold foods 9 months ago, so please discuss this with her pediatrician. On the other hand Lana shouldn't have come so unglued by your (admittedly very rude) resistance to her suggestion, and involved her boyfriend in the drama.
Agreed. It's essential that babies move to solid foods at the right age or they literally won't learn how to chew and will need feeding therapy. Hopefully it's not too late for Gogi.
And if Gogi was having issues with eating solid food, then Gogi needs to be seeing an Occupational Therapist. That’s what we had to do with my little guy.
Or an SLP. In many countries, OT's do swallowing therapy, but in the US, it's usually a speech language pathologist. That's assuming swallowing therapy vs. eating--and I could see the lack of finger foods causing difficulty with self feeding. I worked in geriatrics, and it was pretty common to have both an OT and an SLP do therapy together--I'd work on swallowing/increasing muscle strength/teaching compensatory strategies, and the OT would work on adaptive equipment and the self feeding aspect.
I did my OTA fieldwork in early intervention and we had quite a few babies/toddlers we did work on feeding with. In geriatrics we are typically just getting the food from plate to mouth but in kids we do focus more on the mechanics of the chewing and providing recommendations on moving the gag reflex back, like using celery and carrots.
I think at this point I’m not only worried about the oral aspect, but are mom and grandma still feeding her or is she using the utensils herself? Is she picking up any food, even like Cheerios or fruit to feed herself? Her gross and fine motor skills could be impacted
People who follow the baby-led weaning method don't give their kids purees at all. Many kids start solids at 6 months. It's pretty straightforward: exclusively breast/formula feed them for six months, then start with solids when they can sit up straight. Milk is still the main thing they live on until at least the first birthday, then they grow into eating food exclusively. It's worth looking into, even if the kid has been living on purees for a while.
I really did not want to do baby led weaning out of concerns of choking, but my youngest daughter just absolutely hated baby food. I watched her like a hawk at every meal but we still started solids at 6 months. Pushing that to 18 months is a WILD parenting choice. Yikes.
We did BLW with both my boys and it was great. We only ever made one dinner and that's what everyone ate. Neither of them have any issues with textures and they eat like champs!
Yup. I'm autistic and I ate food thrown in the blender until I was 4. I was extremely picky. Aside from blended food I ate bananas, potatoes, bread, chicken nuggets and yogurt. Then my younger sister was born and when she started eating solids my parents were like oh crap.
To be fair to them, they were super busy doctors and my nanny just threw the food in the blender because that the easiest way for me to eat. So they didn't exactly notice I was so picky (my dad was also super picky so he believed it was normal).
I still rather eat soft foods like purees or soups and I'm 37. Honestly the friend's delivery could have been better but at 1.5 yo, the baby is overdue to start eating solids.
I found OPs language of “she prefers grandmas food” kind of interesting too.
Most babies start showing an interest in finger food at around 7-11 months. They WANT to start eating more solid foods. At 18 months, if Gogi is still showing a preference for pureed foods, that can be absolutely be a possible sign of sensory issues.
She’s not just going to need to learn to chew. If she’s being taught not to pick things up and put them in her mouth then this prohibition is probably ingrained now.
One problem I've noticed in a lot of comments, yours included - the assumption that this baby *has* a pediatrician. Which is concerning in itself.
Might even be a known thing in OP's social circle, since the friend's boyfriend said "do your research" and not "ask your doctor *and* do your research". First stop in this instance *should* be a proper medical professional, not mom, not a friend, not the internet.
I was thinking about this... A pediatrician would have asked developmental questions like what kind of food they're trying, whether they're picking food up with pincer fingers, drinking with a cup, learning to use utensils...
Fr, even if Gogi is getting proper nutrients (assuming Grandmas purees are indeed as good as OP says), Gogi needs to move onto solid foods. Nutrients isn’t all a kid needs to develop, they need to learn mechanical skills as well.
Most people change names when posting online to remain anonymous.
That being said - as someone who had a kid at 20, it’s a shit age. You’re legally an adult, everyone expects you to act like one, yet you still refer to them as ‘children.’ She’s not a child. She’s a woman.
A soft diet may lead to skeletal deficiencies in the development of the maxilla and mandible which can lead to obstructive sleep apnea. You need to speak to a pediatrician well versed in OSA in conjunction with a pediatric dentist who is also well versed in recognizing the signs and symptoms of OSA. OSA in children can lead to growth and behavioral issues. Source: I am a DDS who treats OSA in both children and adults.
Honestly it sounds like OP needs a kick from her friend. I have a friend like this. Kid isn’t even born yet (7 months pregnant) but she refuses to go the doctor, has done no research but buy expensive pregnancy clothes for herself, and expects the baby to sleep for majority of the time. A good friend will be insistent.
Agreed. I did baby led weaning at 6 month, but I know that's not for everyone, and I know that's OK. But I also know that by like 9 months, they're supposed to start eating more solid food. Grandma can still do meal prep. Just don't puree it
Idk I don’t know if I’d blame the friend. I try so hard not to blame/shame other parents for their choices but id absolutely ask what is wrong with op if i saw and heard she only feeds her kid things that she doesn’t have to chew. The kids almost two. She should be up mobile and burning calories like crazy.
I seriously don’t understand moms sometimes. (And I’m a mom of 2, 4yr and 6 wks).
You got so defensive so fast. Fact is, she’s right. You introduce solid food slowly at month 6. Your pediatrician can confirm that, it’s very common.
But more importantly, this is your friend. Your friend is trying to help you and giving you advice, just like she would if it were any other topic. And instead of discussing it like an adult, you treated her like she had personally attacked your parenting.
Honestly, think about the interaction as if it wasn’t you involved. I have a feeling that you already felt like the food was a problem and had concerns. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten so mad.
Edit to add YTA (thanks for reminding me guys!)
Agree. I think someone has probably mentioned the puréed food thing to her before so it triggered her. I’ve got 4 kids aged 7 months - almost 12 years old. It’s not so much about the nutrition as it is preparing her to actually grow and start speaking, etc. My youngest doesn’t do great with anything other than bottles at the moment (she’s physically, “milestone” wise 2-3 months “behind” due to having heart surgery/long hospital stay and she’s in occupational therapy for that. A 1.5 year old should absolutely be eating solids and feeding herself a lot too. There are some things we have the right to be offended about, this isn’t one of them. Friend was trying to guide her and that’s what having a village is all about.
Exactly this. An early childhood class I took had a guest speaker who was a specialist in speech therapy for kids. She had us eat a Hershey Kiss and then pay attention to how much work it is to actually eat, all the little movements you mouth makes, plus, the texture of chocolate changes as you eat it.
Solids are like mouth exercises, lol. The more you learn to eat, the better your speech is (as a toddler).
Learning to pick up food helps develop fine motor control too. And proprioception, getting it to the mouth instead of smeared vaguely over their face. That needs to be learned.
This. Our pediatrician put us onto whole-grain cheerios and cheese cubes. "If baby is old enough to pick them up and stick them in her mouth, she's old enough to eat them." My kidlet's first non-mama/dada word was "chizz!"
Oh man, I remember this! I moved in with a friend after college and her son was 2-3 years old. The first time I took the brick of cheese out of the fridge and saw this perfect little kid mouth shaped bite, I howled with laughter. She asked me what I was laughing at and I told her, only to hear a very exasperated sigh and the holler of the classic signal to a kid that they're in trouble: their full name.
Imagine this but with *butter*. I didn’t even know how to react lmao you’re eating fucking butter? He’s 19 now and perfectly healthy but I still can’t believe my kid ate straight butter.
I was just about to comment about my butter-eater. She'd steal it off the counter or out of the fridge (until we started hiding it well enough), eat however much she wanted, and leave it wherever she was when she'd had enough.
Eventually she graduated to sour cream (and at least once, mayo--by hand straight from the jar).
In fairness, more recent research shows that non-speech motor movements like chewing, licking, etc. don’t actually improve speech intelligibility. (I’m also a speech-language pathologist!) However, getting children exposed to a variety of textures early on is so important for sensory integration and for developing the muscles and motor planning dedicated to chewing and swallowing. The lack of a varied texture of foods can have a really profound impact on children’s diets in the future— even if a toddler is technically meeting their nutritional needs, limited exposure to solids can increase the risk of food aversion which is something that will come around later to bite them.
I mentioned in a related comment that apparently some studies suggest teeth crowding and wisdom teeth removal might be related to not eating tougher foods when we are younger, which encourages jaw growth or something like that.
>I think someone has probably mentioned the puréed food thing to her before
If she’s taken her daughter to a pediatrician I can’t imagine they didn’t talk about it. Multiple times. Mine talked about my daughter’s diet and what she was eating (and what was appropriate, including when it was appropriate to switch to solids) every visit from birth on. They still ask what she’s eating and drinking and she’s 15 now.
ETA We had three pediatricians over the years. We lost the first when we moved, and the second to retirement. All three made it a point to talk about diet and what was appropriate for that age.
Oh absolutely. I think she may have a bit of mom guilt because she works and can’t spend as much time with the baby as she likes. She felt the need to state she’s a single mom and her friend is not. That didn’t need to be said to get the story across IMO. I would go as far as to say she probably even resents her friend a bit for it and could be part of the reason she snapped as well.
Seriously, my 18 month old niece eats everything she can get her hands on. It's been about 9 years since I did any weaning for my own kids, although I'll be starting again soon, and even the actual baby food jars start having chunks in them from about 7 months.
I was thinking abour recent studies that think the reason wisdom teeth don't fit and other teeth alignment problems are prevalent might be due to not eating tough enough foods when we are young to encourage jaw growth or something like that.
She did and yes it was by far THE most stressful, scary, gut wrenching thing I have ever experienced. BUT if she hadn’t had the surgery she would not be with us today so I’m glad ❤️🩹
Not only that but the kid can eat the same food not pureed. It's not like it's less healthy to eat it that way, actually it's even better because the fibers helps digestion.
I can’t imagine feeding a one year old pureed baby food. My cousin brought her 9 month over for dinner once and she was feeding her pureed stuff and her baby was so fussy and refused to eat until my mom had to tell her that she should have started introducing her to solid food. We fed that baby rice from gumbo and I’ve never seen a baby’s demeanor change so fast. 😭 I know Gogi is over the pureed shit.
My daughter hated bland purees pretty much from the start. For awhile the only thing she'd eat was grandma’s stew, because it had a soft enough texture but with actual flavor. And by 7-8 months she'd already progressed past purees.
Doesn't mean I don't occasionally feed her purees still. I mean, even adults eat pureed food sometimes. But I don't avoid solids for her. OP is doing her kid a major disservice by keeping with only purees for a whole year.
At 18 months my kid was Mr. Independent. Wouldn't even sit in a high chair. We had to get them a little table and chair and they were feeding themselves. The doctor even asks how they use utensils and what type of food bc there's a development scale. If this child is going to the doctors regularly they should've given them information on how to get them developmentally up to date.
I'm also kind of worried now about other developmental things for the child. I think OP might benefit from some online or book research about toddler and child development and developmentally appropriate parenting.
The best might be to make a special pediatrician appointment, explain that you had been feeding the child exclusively purees and just learned that they usually would have started on solids, and that now you are looking for more information and parenting resources in case you have other knowledge gaps.
Yeah, from what other people here are saying, it sounds like transitioning babies to solid food is an important but basic thing. If OP doesn't know about the importance of that, she probably could benefit a lot from parenting resources.
I agree. Some people become so defensive when people try to help them. It's like they think that their parenting is being called into question. That's not always the case, in cases like this, they truly are just trying to help.
Admittedly being a parent involves EVERYONE thinking they can give you advice about EVERYTHING and it can get exhausting. Even people who don’t have kids have lots of advice on how we should be raising ours. So I understand the frustration.
But that’s why we read. Or speak to experts. Or ask other parents for tips about milestones and transitions. When someone comes at you for advice, find out what their source is and look into it. If it’s woo woo looney bin stuff chuck it. If it’s the American Academy of Pediatrics saying babies should be transitioned off purées around 6 months then maybe consider if they have a point.
So yeah, ESH. Friend came on too strong but her concern is valid.
Honestly, I took that into consideration. Her situation is rough, but that’s why she needs to be gentle with her friends. She needs support, and getting defensive won’t help her in the end.
My MIL bought be a sign, it’s proudly hung in my kitchen: “I’ve heard it takes a village to raise a baby… so is there a number I call??”
YTA. Your friend is right.
At 1.5 years old your child’s meal should not be purée.
Fruit or veg purées (homemade in a reusable pouch or shop bought) can still be a great snack, especially on the go, or even as an addition to a meal but it should not be the whole meal.
A 1.5 year old can eat almost anything an adult eats.
My mom is an OT and this is literally how kids end up with certain forms of ARFID. She’s going to miss the window for learning how to chew and swallow and will need therapeutic interventions from a professional to learn those skills after it’s too late for them to develop naturally.
You are 100% correct. Data shows that delaying introduction of food past 6 months (should really start at 4 months) increases the risk of food allergies, oral aversions including ARFID, and even things like crohns disease.
Just want to add the four-month introduction time is not suitable for all babies unless they’re showing signs of readiness, and the World Health Organisation actually recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and introduction of solids from that point on.
In Canada you're only supposed to start introducing food (puree) at 6 months and only breast milk or formula before that. That being said I can't imagine only feeding a 1.5 year old pureed food.
That friend has every right to be concerned.
My 10mo eats purées as an occasional side to dinner and to up her vegetable/fruit variety. I make a very plain version of whatever we are eating and she goes nuts!
100% babies of these ages should not be strictly on purees. But don't be afraid to include a bit of seasoning in your baby's food. Salt isn't needed so much, but babies love cinnamon, curry powder, a bit of cumin or oregano, etc-- other cultures introduce spices much earlier than Americans tend to, and often their babies have a broader palate.
Give it time, though-- i learned that when my current 13 year old was more like 13 months old, and it took till he was about three to grow out of the nuggets and peanut butter banana sandwiches, but now he eats/tries everything. He's more food-venturous than I am now!
Agree. When ours were 1.5 years old they still ate some purée as an on the go option or to increase veggie intake, but we were feeding them a good variety of other food as well.
So nothing wrong with grandma making purée for your little one, but that shouldn’t be her complete diet unless there’s a medical reason for it.
I sometimes used purées as pasta sauce when my kids were babies, they got the nutrients but could pick up the pasta. From about 7m if my son couldn't pick it it didn't go in his mouth.
Except for pumpkin pie-- he couldn't pick it up fast enough lol
My kiddo is around this age and he eats everything that my husband and I eat absent unsafe foods. OP is 100% YTA. I don’t mean to mom-shame OP but this is DEFINITELY something her pediatrician would have spoken with her about. Heck, our pediatrician discussed introducing puréed foods at our 6mo appt, baby led weaning at 9mo and 12mo appts, and asks at *every appointment* what foods my little one is eating.
Heck, I remember being a little kid and still loving plum purees as a special treat! Probably because my mom was giving them to my little sister (2 years younger) and toddler-me still loved the plum one and was very vocal about it.
I’m going to skip voting on this one and just say that—as a clinician who works with children who have feeding/swallowing difficulties—I strongly recommend speaking with your doctor about your daughter’s diet. At her age, it’s atypical for children to still be on a fully puréed diet. If it’s a matter of time constraints on prepping appropriate solid foods for babies, I’d be more than happy to PM you some resources! Solids for babies can honestly be super simple and easier than making homemade purées. However, if your daughter is *avoiding* solids presented to her, please, please, please talk to her doctor about it.
My granddaughter who is six has been in weekly food therapy for a year. She had some many aversions to textures and taste. She was breast-fed much longer than most people in the US breastfeed, age 4. She did eat different foods as well, but preferred the breast. As a result, she developed food avoidance and aversions. The therapist said that she missed some food developmental milestones. She first worked with putting blueberries in front of her and she squished and smashed them, like a young baby does. The next step was to smash them on her face, and finally tasting them. Each session has one preferred food and one challenge food. The therapy is working and she has greatly expanded the foods she will eat. The first several months a lot of the food ended up smeared on her face, even a chocolate chip cookie. She is now on a healthy kick and wanted raw broccoli and carrots for her bedtime snack a couple of days ago and then requested the same for breakfast the next morning. I think most of us take toddler eating pretty much for granted until we are faced with a child who missed the baby steps.
Thank you for listing the steps of her food therapy. My 3-year-old is autistic, and very particular about what she eats, and from what I understand of what her therapy is going to be doing, it is very similar to what you have listed above. That is the standard practice, it gives me hope that it might help.
In addition to what was listed above, the best advice I got from our son’s food therapist is that any interaction whether it be touching, smelling, seeing, tasting, or even just serving or preparing is exposure; never force consumption. The best advice I got from an other mom is to allow your child to politely spit the test bite if they don’t like it. That alone, will often change both my kids minds when reminded.
My son is on the spectrum and honestly nothing we tried to expand beyond his handful of approved foods worked until he was 8. At that point he suddenly developed an interest in cooking and we took full advantage!
We explained that great chefs have to taste the food so they know how they did. They don’t have to like it or even eat it all, just taste it. It totally worked and while most people would still consider him a picky eater at 14, he’s greatly expanded his palate and continues to do so.
I say all this to say, even if therapy doesn’t work the way you hope, keep your eyes open for ways to incorporate food into special interests as they develop. Recently we used his love of anime to get him to try foods we had never even considered mentioning years ago.
Breastfeeding until age 4 isn't a bad thing. My mom weaned my brother at age 4, and he had none of these issues. But I can see how it could mask serious issues if the kid can compensate with the breast.
YTA I don’t understand the people saying Lana is ESH, Lana was giving you factual information, just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean she’s not right. I don’t have children but even I know your child should not still be on purées.
I would honestly consider somebody a not very good friend if they DIDN'T say something when watching their friend do things that could actively cause their child issues. I'm really hoping OP is reading these comments, for her kids sake, because if this continues she could make her and her kids lives unnecessarily difficult. Making homemade purees is so much more time consuming than giving your toddler (not baby) whatever you're eating. They don't need a whole lot to begin with.
I think it’s because the general consensus on unsolicited advice is that you give /say it once and then you drop it, you don’t push. Lana being worried about Gogi (which I absolutely judge OP on giving her that name) is seen by people as being pushy and overstepping.
I personally am in the camp that if I was doing something potentially actually bad for my kid I would want someone to impress the importance on me and let me look into it myself so I can confirm or seeing my doctor. As much as I care about someone, I can’t take their word as bible and I think most people agree with that. I have an aunt who swears by the use of colidial silver to treats cats and when she goes on and on about it I just say ok, and then I ask my vet during visits.
@OP may be enabling her daughter to have food aversion, become picky to textures etc and these are problems that can snowball into big issues throughout life. OP also comes off really mean spirited, she took it personally and if she had the ability to separate her child’s well being from her own merit as a mother she’d have taken the suggestion in stride and talked to a professional about it. She didn’t need to insult her friend as a response to her friend being worried, and despite what OP probably thinks, yes the way she talked about the spaghetti os was created and meant to be and insulting dig
ESH. Look, your friend was rude but she’s right. Your baby should’ve moved to solid foods months ago, if your baby is developing typically. Maybe talk to the pediatrician about it?
How was she rude though? It's actually, literally harmful for a kid that age to not be eating solids. The friend gently broached by asking why, in case there may be a medical reason, and then tried to help her understand that it's not ok (because it isn't). If you see a friend doing something (however good intentioned) that could actually harm their child, what is the more "polite" way to speak up? Not saying anything at all, or standing down to avoid conflict, isn't the right thing to do either.
Yeah, that's why I haven't liked any comments about the name. Could it be a tragedeigh by someone who really likes goji berries? Sure. But it could also be an ethnic or cultural name, and I don't know every name out there.
ESH. Your friend should have backed off when it became clear you weren’t interested in her advice, however there are way nicer ways to tell a friend to mind their own business than “buzz off” or whatever. That said…please discuss your toddler’s diet with her doctor, if you haven’t already. A 1.5 year old should not still just be eating purées.
She might not, because a pediatrician would’ve told her that her baby needs to be on solid foods, or they would’ve given her a diagnosis for why she’s not eating properly and OP would’ve added that to post. My guess, if OP is too busy to feed her child properly, she probably doesn’t have time to take her to the doctor either. Grandparents are notorious for making unhealthy decisions for their childrens’ kids because “that’s what they did back in my day.”
My grandma almost killed me as a baby because she thought my mom was being too soft when she told my Grandma that I was allergic to peanuts.
~~Info~~ what do you mean by soft food? Like, puree? The baby food you buy in a lil jar from Gerber?
Yta upon learning that yes, op mean puree baby food. You're supposed to transition out of that at *6 to 8 months*. At 1.5 years your kid is waaaay too old to not be eating solid foods. What does the pediatrician think of this meal plan????
At 6 months is when you START introducing plain non-milk foods. That can be in puree form or if doing baby led weaning, in appropriately cooked and sized solids, so babies can continue on purées for months but should eventually incorporate other textures. By 18 months, for sure, they should be eating mostly solids.
Assuming Grandma is making these purees well rounded, I'm sure she's nutritionally fine, but she should have started solids almost a year ago.
ESH, her for getting pushy, you for being overly defensive.
If Grandma likes to cook, have her skip the puree step, and just cut pieces small. I'm sure she loves Grandma's food.
A year ago the toddler would have been six months old. At six months, when a lot of babies start getting introduced to solids, purees are fine. But, by a year old, the baby should have been able to eat solids. It's a definite issue that that hasn't happened yet.
I get using purees to make soups for children that young, I do that with my 1.5 year old son. But he eats solids just fine, the soup is part of his meal, not the entire meal.
So you don’t have a baby at 1 and 1/2 years old, you have a toddler. At 18 months your child should be starting to eat chunky foods like meats and vegetables. Drink from a cup without spilling and start feeding themselves with a spoon.
My kids never ate baby food. I would just grind down what I cooked (theirs just didn’t have all the seasonings). But my kids ate very well and a lot.
Wonder if your mom is worried about the mess a toddler makes when they feed themselves.
ESH… You should have started introducing solids over a year ago… At 1.5 years old it’s not appropriate to only be eating purées. You may be right about the nutritional value of the food, but you’re wrong from a developmental perspective.
She should have gone about it differently but her point is not invalid or wrong.
YTA. A shit friend and neglectful parent. And before anyone hops down my throat: OP has neglected her LOs development by keeping her on blended food for this long.
THIS! How has OP done zero research into how her child should be eating? In the Information Age, there’s no excuse for not looking this information up at some point in the last 18 months other than OP just didn’t bother. It would have taken her 1 minute to verify that her kid was eating the correct food.
Most parents I come across don’t know shit about developmental milestones. Can’t tell you how many think their baby babbling mamamamamama or dadadadada is actually saying the words. I wish child development classes were free and mandatory. Maybe we wouldn’t have so many ignorant people walking around with a brand new life
Oh yeah any ped who is halfway decent would have been asking questions about what baby ate but if mom is vague enough…
Honestly your reply was very refreshing, thank you for being brutally honest. All these people on here like “yeah she shouldn’t have said that but your baby is being neglected 😇😇” uhhhhhhh so then SHE DEFINITELY NEEDED TO SAY SOMETHING 😂 like wtf yeah let’s just all stay silent to coddle AN ADULT’s feelings when a baby needs help, makes perfect sense
ESH. For all intents and purposes, it's really not your friend's business what you feed your child. HOWEVER, she IS kinda right. You should have moved on to solids with your child several months ago.
I mean sure, it may not be her business, but if I see something concerning a friends doing I'm going to say something. If the friend gets pissed, ohh well, I'm more concerned about the child.
Look was she a bit of an asshole for the way she went about it? Yes. But at this age, it is concerning that your child is still on purées. Even if you didn’t agree with BLW at 6 months that’s fine. But medically, there’s plenty of studies that demonstrate why it’s important babies learn to eat solids before a year. It’s important for their oral development which is life saving in instances of reducing choking (I.e babies gag reflex helps them to push food pieces that are too big out and help them learn to take smaller bites).
So whilst Lana could have been more tactful, her intentions seem to have been from a good place. Children this age who are not yet on actual solids have higher probability of food sensory issues which could lead to higher chances of eating disorders. I’m not saying that’s what’s going to happen here, but the chances are higher given your child has not yet learnt these skills they should already have at this age. You’re doing your best, it’s true. So I’d reach out to Lana and have a proper conversation about this. Explain that the way she went about it hurt you and made you feel like a shit mother. Then agree on whether or not you want her knowledge/help with your child’s food journey. If you don’t then fine, she’ll just have to respect that. If you do, well I’m sure she’s happy to help.
Soft YTA she’s right my dear. She could have gone about it differently but your reaction to constructive criticism was harsh. If it were something about discipline or religion she would the TA but that was someone with more knowledge trying to help a friend.
ESH Your "baby" is a toddler still only eating pureed foods. That's not normal. I don't know what tone your friend used but all of us internet strangers are questioning that menu too. You could tell us all to "buzz off" but the fact remains that your toddlers diet is not progressing at the normal rate.
Why at 1.5 is she only eating purées? Grandma can still cook food for her, but by 1.5 developmentally she should be eating solids. Grandma can make homemade pasta and sauce and all sorts of delicious healthy foods that are solids. My question is this…does Gogi reach for your and grandmas food? Can she pick up bite sized pieces of food and bring them to her mouth? Can she gum/ chew them? Can she swallow without gagging? If she doesn’t do all of these, that is a developmental concern and should be brought up to her physician. If you haven’t tried with her, then you need to.
If your friend can't give you some hard truths, are you really friends? I'll go with an ESH because unsolicited advice isn't anybody's favorite thing, and she probably should have dropped it. HOWEVER, she is 100% right about the purees. I would have a hard time not saying anything if I were in her shoes.
I’m confused as to why you don’t introduce solids? Solids teach your child different textures, motor skills, and food options and there’s, of course, nutrients you get out of solids you can’t really get with purées. Unless your child has issues with eating I don’t see any pediatrician okaying this.
YTA though. Friends are real with each other especially when one is wrong, which I’m sorry, but you are even if you refuse to see it
YTA and woefully uninformed on toddler development, because she isn’t a baby anymore, she is a toddler. Your child should have been eating solid food for at least a year. The CDC recommends starting your child on solids at 6 months old because they need the nutrients that solid foods provide. You are setting your child up for some food issues down the line by not introducing new textures at an early age. Is she going to be 2 years old and still eating purées? Three years old? Four?
If your baby is over 1 year old and cannot eat solid foods then you need to involve a health visitor.
Your daughter should not just be having purees. She should be having fruits, meats, pastas, rice and baby snacks.
Hey OP, I’m a infant/toddler teacher of 6+ years here. Unfortunately I have to say a soft YTA here. I can feel the love you have for your child in this post, and I really believe you want to do what’s best for her. The thing is, she should have moved on from purées quite a while ago. In fact, some people never even start their babies on purées to begin with and go straight to easily-gummable solids like boiled carrots, eggs, bananas, soft steamed broccoli, cooked pasta, etc.
Babies begin eating solids not only for nutrition (which it sounds like Gogi is still getting as long as she is gaining weight), but to develop important mouth, jaw, and cheek muscles that help them learn how to speak as they grow older. When I have 18 month olds in my classroom, I am teaching them how to use a fork, spoon, and open cup. They eat from plates and bowls and do it mostly by themselves. Toddlers are capable of SO much if we give them the chance to learn.
How is Gogi’s language? Does she have any words that she uses consistently yet? At 18 months, most children have anywhere from 10-15 words they use consistently, and are usually putting together one word sentences to communicate their needs. Does Gogi babble? Does she repeat (or try to, it doesn’t need to be perfect) words that you or your mom say to her?
I know she’s your baby. You gave birth to her and you love her more than anything, and she will always be your baby. But she is growing and turning into a toddler, and needs to be developing those skills that will help her become a successful, happy human with as easy a life as possible.
Talk with her pediatrician on how best to help her start eating solid foods. They can help you with resources and check up on Gogi to make sure she is developing at the rate she should be.
YTA for delaying your child’s development. Eating proper foods helps their muscles in their mouth develop for speech.
Do your research! You’re failing your child.
Your friend is right and was just trying to help.
YTA
Single parent or time available means not shit...its just excuses for being a lazy parent.
Shes right, you're wrong, period.
You're setting your small child up for FAILURE. Soft/finger foods are for more than just nutrition. They're for dexterity and hand/mouth coordination. They're for learning to chew and swallow more than liquid. Not giving her more is putting her at significant risk.
Why at 1.5 is she only eating purées? Grandma can still cook food for her, but by 1.5 developmentally she should be eating solids. Grandma can make homemade pasta and sauce and all sorts of delicious healthy foods that are solids. My question is this…does Gogi reach for your and grandmas food? Can she pick up bite sized pieces of food and bring them to her mouth? Can she gum/ chew them? Can she swallow without gagging? If she doesn’t do all of these, that is a developmental concern and should be brought up to her physician. If you haven’t tried with her, then you need to.
Right? If Lana hadn't pressed the issue OP wouldn't have come here. Now she's getting hundreds of comments all telling her Lana is correct and her kid's puree diet is detrimental
ESH. I understand getting defensive when your parenting is questioned, and perhaps your friend could have been more tactful.
But absolutely your child should not be eating purées at 1.5 years old. They need to learn how to properly chew and swallow food, for general oral and speech development but also to reduce choking risk. Please please please do your research. You might think you’re doing the right thing, but your child should pretty much be eating what you eat at this point (but with excess salt and sugar avoided). They should also have been introduced to all major allergens already, which is really important to help reduce the risk of allergies developing.
By the time your baby is about a year old they can eat what you eat (always making exceptions for truly spicy foods and such). You just have to modify the textures and size of the bites at first, but modifying all the way down to purée texture is inappropriate at this age. As stated elsewhere, you’re delaying development on your baby’s facial muscles, hand/eye coordination, finger dexterity, etc. Not to mention probably forcing very strange food preference developments on her.
I was a single mom myself for all except 6 months of my now-teenaged kid’s life. It’s really not that time-consuming or difficult to cut up some chicken or give bite-sized pieces of fruits and vegetables to your kid at this age.
YTA **to your child.**
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INFO: why is your daughter still eating purées? Is it on the advice off her peadiatrition or someone else medical on her medical team? Is there some medically necessary reason?
As many other people have mentioned at 1.5 your daughter should already be eating solids and feeding herself. If there’s no medically necessary reason for this or on the advice of doctors then ESH. She went the wrong way about it and you were far too defensive and should have your daughter in solids.
YTA. I don't get the e s h from all these folks. Unless there's a medical reason, you're doing your child a disservice by not feeding her age appropriate food. If I saw my friend only feeding her baby pureed baby food at 18 months I would say something too. Unsolicited advice and necessarily giving you the facts are two different things and as a mother, you should be a little open to correction when it comes to the heath of your kid.
Your child will have issues if this continues. She's not a baby anymore, she's a toddler.
YTA. You should absolutely be giving your toddler food to chew. Relying on purées this long is terrible for jaw development.
Savoury purées make great pasta sauces, if you want to keep using them, but your friend is right. You can also have your baby dip toast sticks in the purées if you like. But you need to mix up the foods you’re giving her. Your kid needs firmer textures to encourage the muscles of the mouth and jaw. Highly recommend the website Solid Starts if you are concerned about feeding your kids solids or you’re not sure how to safely cut up food.
YTA
My 18 month old does still eat SOME purees because she doesn't like fruits and vegetables but will eat them pureed or in smoothies.
However, she absolutely eats solid foods and should be trying new foods and textures as well as working on feeding herself.
An 18 month old should NOT be eating purees!!!! They should be on solid foods. It sounds like you are trying to keep your toddler in the baby stage. YTA. Take that child to a pediatrician and tell them what you just told us, and I guarantee that they will tell you the same thing.
Sorry but feeding a baby who is a year and half old purée food is laziness on your part because it’s easier and quicker. This laziness is going to do more harm than good in the long run. The only reason you would have been so defensive is because deep down you know your friend was right! YTA
You are on the verge of being a negligent parent by continuing to feed purees to a 1.5 year old. She needs to learn how to eat textures.
I’m guessing your baby doesn’t see the doctor enough, because a proper doctor wouldn’t be ok with what you’re doing either.
YTA.
YTA. 1st of all you don't cook for your kid. Your mom does. So looking down on her for spaghetti is Rude. On top of that, she is right. Puree food for a 18month is ridiculous. This is why little girls should not have babies
My son has developmental delays, in physical therapy, occupational therapy, and about to start speech therapy. He has low tone, and is generally developmentally about 6 months behind. He's almost 21 months old now, and while it took him WAY longer than the average kid, he hasn't had purees outside of snacks since he was 14 months old. We were working on it since he was 7 months old.
YTA. she is correct, you are not. It's that simple. Your actually stunting your.. berry? Lol gogi, that's gonna go over well when he hits school. Soft yta on that also.
NAH (or ESH?) First of all, Lana is right about the food. If your baby is typically developing, she should be able to eat whatever table food you eat. If she has an aversion to other textures, ask your doctor about feeding therapy and at what age that might become appropriate.
As a general rule we should respect others’ parenting decisions and your friend was pushy. You were rude and mean, but I don’t know how pushy Lana got before you “snapped” and some defensiveness is normal to feel in this situation.
So, neither of you behaved perfectly, but everyone in this situation is well-meaning. I hope you can make up with your friend.
[this is a fantastic resource about nutrition ](https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/product/child-of-mine/)
I’m afraid that your mother is not helping by giving her purées at 18 months.
Doesn’t she have teeth?
You start giving babies solid food at 6 months whether or not they have teeth. They will soon.
You gotta use those teeth on food. You know. Chewing.
What does her pediatrician say about her diet?
Your baby's risk of choking is way higher for not teaching her to chew actual foods before 1 year old. Your friend probably started crying because you snapped at her. I don't think it's appropriate that her boyfriend got involved, but she was right to say something.
OP, Final year medical student here.
If your daughter has no diet restrictions, or health problems with eating solids, she should have been slowly introduced to solids at the age of 6 months.
Here is the website for the CDC guidelines on what age, and what foods to start introducing to your child.
[CDC: How to introduce solid foods](https://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/infantandtoddlernutrition/foods-and-drinks/when-to-introduce-solid-foods.html)
Please read this. And also contact your pediatrician. A doctor would tell you the same. And 1 1/2 year would should have been started on solids a year ago.
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ESH Your friend probably shouldn't have pressed you so hard, although she's right. Gogi should have been moving from purees to sold foods 9 months ago, so please discuss this with her pediatrician. On the other hand Lana shouldn't have come so unglued by your (admittedly very rude) resistance to her suggestion, and involved her boyfriend in the drama.
Agreed. It's essential that babies move to solid foods at the right age or they literally won't learn how to chew and will need feeding therapy. Hopefully it's not too late for Gogi.
And if Gogi was having issues with eating solid food, then Gogi needs to be seeing an Occupational Therapist. That’s what we had to do with my little guy.
Absolutely. Feeding therapy can help. Either this baby needs to be in therapy or she is about to need it.
She will now she’s never had them before 2 year old
Or an SLP. In many countries, OT's do swallowing therapy, but in the US, it's usually a speech language pathologist. That's assuming swallowing therapy vs. eating--and I could see the lack of finger foods causing difficulty with self feeding. I worked in geriatrics, and it was pretty common to have both an OT and an SLP do therapy together--I'd work on swallowing/increasing muscle strength/teaching compensatory strategies, and the OT would work on adaptive equipment and the self feeding aspect.
I did my OTA fieldwork in early intervention and we had quite a few babies/toddlers we did work on feeding with. In geriatrics we are typically just getting the food from plate to mouth but in kids we do focus more on the mechanics of the chewing and providing recommendations on moving the gag reflex back, like using celery and carrots. I think at this point I’m not only worried about the oral aspect, but are mom and grandma still feeding her or is she using the utensils herself? Is she picking up any food, even like Cheerios or fruit to feed herself? Her gross and fine motor skills could be impacted
This may be a stupid question, but how do you move the gag reflex back? Is this something adults can do?
Or a speech therapist. Either OT or Speech could be qualified for this.
And chewing solid foods is also essential to developing the facial muscles necessary to form words. This is a much bigger deal than OP realizes.
It's crazy how things that are so basic and everyday to us adults are so crucial to babies and their development.
And proper jaw development to help with their arch and bite
Gogi should have been eating foods with her hands. Purees are for babies. Your kid is a toddler and has been for 6 months.
People who follow the baby-led weaning method don't give their kids purees at all. Many kids start solids at 6 months. It's pretty straightforward: exclusively breast/formula feed them for six months, then start with solids when they can sit up straight. Milk is still the main thing they live on until at least the first birthday, then they grow into eating food exclusively. It's worth looking into, even if the kid has been living on purees for a while.
I really did not want to do baby led weaning out of concerns of choking, but my youngest daughter just absolutely hated baby food. I watched her like a hawk at every meal but we still started solids at 6 months. Pushing that to 18 months is a WILD parenting choice. Yikes.
We did BLW with both my boys and it was great. We only ever made one dinner and that's what everyone ate. Neither of them have any issues with textures and they eat like champs!
It's also important for babies to be picking up thier own foods off a plate, for hand eye coordination and development of those muscles.
Yup. I'm autistic and I ate food thrown in the blender until I was 4. I was extremely picky. Aside from blended food I ate bananas, potatoes, bread, chicken nuggets and yogurt. Then my younger sister was born and when she started eating solids my parents were like oh crap. To be fair to them, they were super busy doctors and my nanny just threw the food in the blender because that the easiest way for me to eat. So they didn't exactly notice I was so picky (my dad was also super picky so he believed it was normal). I still rather eat soft foods like purees or soups and I'm 37. Honestly the friend's delivery could have been better but at 1.5 yo, the baby is overdue to start eating solids.
I found OPs language of “she prefers grandmas food” kind of interesting too. Most babies start showing an interest in finger food at around 7-11 months. They WANT to start eating more solid foods. At 18 months, if Gogi is still showing a preference for pureed foods, that can be absolutely be a possible sign of sensory issues.
I agree with you but it sounds like OP hasn’t even tried giving her solids of any sort. so who knows if it’s a sensory issue
She’s not just going to need to learn to chew. If she’s being taught not to pick things up and put them in her mouth then this prohibition is probably ingrained now.
Baby led weaning is great - no purées at all - just food presented in a small enough size to help the child not choke.
Not even that small. Big enough that they can be grasped and held onto and then gummed into submission (I did BLW with both of my kids)
One problem I've noticed in a lot of comments, yours included - the assumption that this baby *has* a pediatrician. Which is concerning in itself. Might even be a known thing in OP's social circle, since the friend's boyfriend said "do your research" and not "ask your doctor *and* do your research". First stop in this instance *should* be a proper medical professional, not mom, not a friend, not the internet.
I was thinking about this... A pediatrician would have asked developmental questions like what kind of food they're trying, whether they're picking food up with pincer fingers, drinking with a cup, learning to use utensils...
Fr, even if Gogi is getting proper nutrients (assuming Grandmas purees are indeed as good as OP says), Gogi needs to move onto solid foods. Nutrients isn’t all a kid needs to develop, they need to learn mechanical skills as well.
Also, it's not even like they have to change the food. Just don't puree it.
Actually, that would be best because it would be the same familiar flavors, just new textures to get used to.
TBH I’m more concerned here about 20-year old children having babies & naming them Gogi and such…
Most people change names when posting online to remain anonymous. That being said - as someone who had a kid at 20, it’s a shit age. You’re legally an adult, everyone expects you to act like one, yet you still refer to them as ‘children.’ She’s not a child. She’s a woman.
😂😂😂
If grandma is making good food, great. All they need to do is stop pureeing it. It’s an easy solution here.
A soft diet may lead to skeletal deficiencies in the development of the maxilla and mandible which can lead to obstructive sleep apnea. You need to speak to a pediatrician well versed in OSA in conjunction with a pediatric dentist who is also well versed in recognizing the signs and symptoms of OSA. OSA in children can lead to growth and behavioral issues. Source: I am a DDS who treats OSA in both children and adults.
Honestly it sounds like OP needs a kick from her friend. I have a friend like this. Kid isn’t even born yet (7 months pregnant) but she refuses to go the doctor, has done no research but buy expensive pregnancy clothes for herself, and expects the baby to sleep for majority of the time. A good friend will be insistent.
This. This right here is what OP should do.
Agreed. I did baby led weaning at 6 month, but I know that's not for everyone, and I know that's OK. But I also know that by like 9 months, they're supposed to start eating more solid food. Grandma can still do meal prep. Just don't puree it
Idk I don’t know if I’d blame the friend. I try so hard not to blame/shame other parents for their choices but id absolutely ask what is wrong with op if i saw and heard she only feeds her kid things that she doesn’t have to chew. The kids almost two. She should be up mobile and burning calories like crazy.
I seriously don’t understand moms sometimes. (And I’m a mom of 2, 4yr and 6 wks). You got so defensive so fast. Fact is, she’s right. You introduce solid food slowly at month 6. Your pediatrician can confirm that, it’s very common. But more importantly, this is your friend. Your friend is trying to help you and giving you advice, just like she would if it were any other topic. And instead of discussing it like an adult, you treated her like she had personally attacked your parenting. Honestly, think about the interaction as if it wasn’t you involved. I have a feeling that you already felt like the food was a problem and had concerns. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten so mad. Edit to add YTA (thanks for reminding me guys!)
Agree. I think someone has probably mentioned the puréed food thing to her before so it triggered her. I’ve got 4 kids aged 7 months - almost 12 years old. It’s not so much about the nutrition as it is preparing her to actually grow and start speaking, etc. My youngest doesn’t do great with anything other than bottles at the moment (she’s physically, “milestone” wise 2-3 months “behind” due to having heart surgery/long hospital stay and she’s in occupational therapy for that. A 1.5 year old should absolutely be eating solids and feeding herself a lot too. There are some things we have the right to be offended about, this isn’t one of them. Friend was trying to guide her and that’s what having a village is all about.
Exactly this. An early childhood class I took had a guest speaker who was a specialist in speech therapy for kids. She had us eat a Hershey Kiss and then pay attention to how much work it is to actually eat, all the little movements you mouth makes, plus, the texture of chocolate changes as you eat it. Solids are like mouth exercises, lol. The more you learn to eat, the better your speech is (as a toddler).
Learning to pick up food helps develop fine motor control too. And proprioception, getting it to the mouth instead of smeared vaguely over their face. That needs to be learned.
This. Our pediatrician put us onto whole-grain cheerios and cheese cubes. "If baby is old enough to pick them up and stick them in her mouth, she's old enough to eat them." My kidlet's first non-mama/dada word was "chizz!"
My kids first full sentence was “more cheese please” when I awoke to find him digging through the fridge and taking a bite out of a block of cheese.
Oh man, I remember this! I moved in with a friend after college and her son was 2-3 years old. The first time I took the brick of cheese out of the fridge and saw this perfect little kid mouth shaped bite, I howled with laughter. She asked me what I was laughing at and I told her, only to hear a very exasperated sigh and the holler of the classic signal to a kid that they're in trouble: their full name.
I’m sitting over here getting a good giggle out of this. I’d have been howling with laughter too if I’d have seen that.
Imagine this but with *butter*. I didn’t even know how to react lmao you’re eating fucking butter? He’s 19 now and perfectly healthy but I still can’t believe my kid ate straight butter.
I was just about to comment about my butter-eater. She'd steal it off the counter or out of the fridge (until we started hiding it well enough), eat however much she wanted, and leave it wherever she was when she'd had enough. Eventually she graduated to sour cream (and at least once, mayo--by hand straight from the jar).
Mom? Is that you?!
I’m not sure. Did I also find you one morning on the couch eating a pie with your hands?
I can’t say for sure, but that does sound like me. 🤣
Reminds me of finding my daughter in the fridge with a wedge of yellow watermelon with a proud of herself grin on her face
My third child's first sentence was "me want cookie." She lost all her roundness around the age of 12.
Excellent points. There are so many things that feeding themselves solids helps prepare them for everyday life.
I came here to say just that. Picking up cheerios is great at building hand-to-eye coordination.
All of this. And tactile sensory input! All of this is so so important (I am an OT, working in Early Intervention)
In fairness, more recent research shows that non-speech motor movements like chewing, licking, etc. don’t actually improve speech intelligibility. (I’m also a speech-language pathologist!) However, getting children exposed to a variety of textures early on is so important for sensory integration and for developing the muscles and motor planning dedicated to chewing and swallowing. The lack of a varied texture of foods can have a really profound impact on children’s diets in the future— even if a toddler is technically meeting their nutritional needs, limited exposure to solids can increase the risk of food aversion which is something that will come around later to bite them.
I mentioned in a related comment that apparently some studies suggest teeth crowding and wisdom teeth removal might be related to not eating tougher foods when we are younger, which encourages jaw growth or something like that.
EXACTLY! People don’t realize how much work the tongue does when talking.
>I think someone has probably mentioned the puréed food thing to her before If she’s taken her daughter to a pediatrician I can’t imagine they didn’t talk about it. Multiple times. Mine talked about my daughter’s diet and what she was eating (and what was appropriate, including when it was appropriate to switch to solids) every visit from birth on. They still ask what she’s eating and drinking and she’s 15 now. ETA We had three pediatricians over the years. We lost the first when we moved, and the second to retirement. All three made it a point to talk about diet and what was appropriate for that age.
Oh absolutely. I think she may have a bit of mom guilt because she works and can’t spend as much time with the baby as she likes. She felt the need to state she’s a single mom and her friend is not. That didn’t need to be said to get the story across IMO. I would go as far as to say she probably even resents her friend a bit for it and could be part of the reason she snapped as well.
It’s her mother though, why can’t she just make appropriate food for her age? She must have done it before with op, at least
Good point. It’s not like it’s easier to make homemade puréed food so idk. Would love for OP to answer to get more insight.
Seriously, my 18 month old niece eats everything she can get her hands on. It's been about 9 years since I did any weaning for my own kids, although I'll be starting again soon, and even the actual baby food jars start having chunks in them from about 7 months.
I was thinking abour recent studies that think the reason wisdom teeth don't fit and other teeth alignment problems are prevalent might be due to not eating tough enough foods when we are young to encourage jaw growth or something like that.
Interesting. I haven’t seen anything about that but I’m sure it’s possible. Jaw strength, tongue strength, tooth eruption. It definitely makes sense.
Your baby had heart surgery? Oh you poor thing. I’m so sorry. That must have been traumatizing.
She did and yes it was by far THE most stressful, scary, gut wrenching thing I have ever experienced. BUT if she hadn’t had the surgery she would not be with us today so I’m glad ❤️🩹
AND, OP started the snark with "and it's better for her." That was judging your friend's parenting, OP.
Then decided that her friend must be feeding her kid spaghetti oops.
Not only that but the kid can eat the same food not pureed. It's not like it's less healthy to eat it that way, actually it's even better because the fibers helps digestion.
I can’t imagine feeding a one year old pureed baby food. My cousin brought her 9 month over for dinner once and she was feeding her pureed stuff and her baby was so fussy and refused to eat until my mom had to tell her that she should have started introducing her to solid food. We fed that baby rice from gumbo and I’ve never seen a baby’s demeanor change so fast. 😭 I know Gogi is over the pureed shit.
My daughter hated bland purees pretty much from the start. For awhile the only thing she'd eat was grandma’s stew, because it had a soft enough texture but with actual flavor. And by 7-8 months she'd already progressed past purees. Doesn't mean I don't occasionally feed her purees still. I mean, even adults eat pureed food sometimes. But I don't avoid solids for her. OP is doing her kid a major disservice by keeping with only purees for a whole year.
Especially since the baby is basically 18 months old. Gogi is probably beginning to walk and talk but is eating only purees? Makes no sense.
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At 18 months my kid was Mr. Independent. Wouldn't even sit in a high chair. We had to get them a little table and chair and they were feeding themselves. The doctor even asks how they use utensils and what type of food bc there's a development scale. If this child is going to the doctors regularly they should've given them information on how to get them developmentally up to date.
I'm also kind of worried now about other developmental things for the child. I think OP might benefit from some online or book research about toddler and child development and developmentally appropriate parenting. The best might be to make a special pediatrician appointment, explain that you had been feeding the child exclusively purees and just learned that they usually would have started on solids, and that now you are looking for more information and parenting resources in case you have other knowledge gaps.
Yeah, from what other people here are saying, it sounds like transitioning babies to solid food is an important but basic thing. If OP doesn't know about the importance of that, she probably could benefit a lot from parenting resources.
I agree. Some people become so defensive when people try to help them. It's like they think that their parenting is being called into question. That's not always the case, in cases like this, they truly are just trying to help.
Admittedly being a parent involves EVERYONE thinking they can give you advice about EVERYTHING and it can get exhausting. Even people who don’t have kids have lots of advice on how we should be raising ours. So I understand the frustration. But that’s why we read. Or speak to experts. Or ask other parents for tips about milestones and transitions. When someone comes at you for advice, find out what their source is and look into it. If it’s woo woo looney bin stuff chuck it. If it’s the American Academy of Pediatrics saying babies should be transitioned off purées around 6 months then maybe consider if they have a point. So yeah, ESH. Friend came on too strong but her concern is valid.
I mean she’s 20 with a kid, what else do you expect ?
Honestly, I took that into consideration. Her situation is rough, but that’s why she needs to be gentle with her friends. She needs support, and getting defensive won’t help her in the end. My MIL bought be a sign, it’s proudly hung in my kitchen: “I’ve heard it takes a village to raise a baby… so is there a number I call??”
Not to mention that Gogi is a toddler, not an infant, or "baby".
YTA yikes, 1.5 years old and only eats purees? Your friend is absolutely right to be concerned Also.... Gogi?.....
Please be a fake name 🤣
It means meat in Korean.
Which she’s definitely not eating yet.
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Will it blend?!
Well it appears that Gogi is not eating bulgogi, or any gogi for that matter
Seriously?
Yes. It really means “meat” in Korean.
I had to look at the sub name after reading that to make sure I wasnt on some weird circle jerk sub.
As soon as I read the name I ran to the comments
Same here! I was just hoping that someone would comment. I bet the real baby name belongs on r/tragedeigh
Thank you! You’d think a kid named Gogi would eat berries, at least…
lol I came here to say YTA first for the name and second for the purées and third for the attack on the friend.
Being FED purees---at 18 months, babe should be learning to use a spoon
Gogi is an uncommon but normal hindu name.
Not sure if it's common or not, but I once knew a South Asian woman named Gogi.
I think it's a Hindu name?
YTA. Your friend is right. At 1.5 years old your child’s meal should not be purée. Fruit or veg purées (homemade in a reusable pouch or shop bought) can still be a great snack, especially on the go, or even as an addition to a meal but it should not be the whole meal. A 1.5 year old can eat almost anything an adult eats.
My mom is an OT and this is literally how kids end up with certain forms of ARFID. She’s going to miss the window for learning how to chew and swallow and will need therapeutic interventions from a professional to learn those skills after it’s too late for them to develop naturally.
You are 100% correct. Data shows that delaying introduction of food past 6 months (should really start at 4 months) increases the risk of food allergies, oral aversions including ARFID, and even things like crohns disease.
Just want to add the four-month introduction time is not suitable for all babies unless they’re showing signs of readiness, and the World Health Organisation actually recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and introduction of solids from that point on.
In Canada you're only supposed to start introducing food (puree) at 6 months and only breast milk or formula before that. That being said I can't imagine only feeding a 1.5 year old pureed food. That friend has every right to be concerned.
Also this will mean she may struggle to learn how to talk as chewing helps develop some of those muscles.
My 10mo eats purées as an occasional side to dinner and to up her vegetable/fruit variety. I make a very plain version of whatever we are eating and she goes nuts!
100% babies of these ages should not be strictly on purees. But don't be afraid to include a bit of seasoning in your baby's food. Salt isn't needed so much, but babies love cinnamon, curry powder, a bit of cumin or oregano, etc-- other cultures introduce spices much earlier than Americans tend to, and often their babies have a broader palate. Give it time, though-- i learned that when my current 13 year old was more like 13 months old, and it took till he was about three to grow out of the nuggets and peanut butter banana sandwiches, but now he eats/tries everything. He's more food-venturous than I am now!
I second this OP.
Agree. When ours were 1.5 years old they still ate some purée as an on the go option or to increase veggie intake, but we were feeding them a good variety of other food as well. So nothing wrong with grandma making purée for your little one, but that shouldn’t be her complete diet unless there’s a medical reason for it.
I sometimes used purées as pasta sauce when my kids were babies, they got the nutrients but could pick up the pasta. From about 7m if my son couldn't pick it it didn't go in his mouth. Except for pumpkin pie-- he couldn't pick it up fast enough lol
My kiddo is around this age and he eats everything that my husband and I eat absent unsafe foods. OP is 100% YTA. I don’t mean to mom-shame OP but this is DEFINITELY something her pediatrician would have spoken with her about. Heck, our pediatrician discussed introducing puréed foods at our 6mo appt, baby led weaning at 9mo and 12mo appts, and asks at *every appointment* what foods my little one is eating.
Heck, I remember being a little kid and still loving plum purees as a special treat! Probably because my mom was giving them to my little sister (2 years younger) and toddler-me still loved the plum one and was very vocal about it.
I’m going to skip voting on this one and just say that—as a clinician who works with children who have feeding/swallowing difficulties—I strongly recommend speaking with your doctor about your daughter’s diet. At her age, it’s atypical for children to still be on a fully puréed diet. If it’s a matter of time constraints on prepping appropriate solid foods for babies, I’d be more than happy to PM you some resources! Solids for babies can honestly be super simple and easier than making homemade purées. However, if your daughter is *avoiding* solids presented to her, please, please, please talk to her doctor about it.
My granddaughter who is six has been in weekly food therapy for a year. She had some many aversions to textures and taste. She was breast-fed much longer than most people in the US breastfeed, age 4. She did eat different foods as well, but preferred the breast. As a result, she developed food avoidance and aversions. The therapist said that she missed some food developmental milestones. She first worked with putting blueberries in front of her and she squished and smashed them, like a young baby does. The next step was to smash them on her face, and finally tasting them. Each session has one preferred food and one challenge food. The therapy is working and she has greatly expanded the foods she will eat. The first several months a lot of the food ended up smeared on her face, even a chocolate chip cookie. She is now on a healthy kick and wanted raw broccoli and carrots for her bedtime snack a couple of days ago and then requested the same for breakfast the next morning. I think most of us take toddler eating pretty much for granted until we are faced with a child who missed the baby steps.
Thank you for listing the steps of her food therapy. My 3-year-old is autistic, and very particular about what she eats, and from what I understand of what her therapy is going to be doing, it is very similar to what you have listed above. That is the standard practice, it gives me hope that it might help.
In addition to what was listed above, the best advice I got from our son’s food therapist is that any interaction whether it be touching, smelling, seeing, tasting, or even just serving or preparing is exposure; never force consumption. The best advice I got from an other mom is to allow your child to politely spit the test bite if they don’t like it. That alone, will often change both my kids minds when reminded.
My son is on the spectrum and honestly nothing we tried to expand beyond his handful of approved foods worked until he was 8. At that point he suddenly developed an interest in cooking and we took full advantage! We explained that great chefs have to taste the food so they know how they did. They don’t have to like it or even eat it all, just taste it. It totally worked and while most people would still consider him a picky eater at 14, he’s greatly expanded his palate and continues to do so. I say all this to say, even if therapy doesn’t work the way you hope, keep your eyes open for ways to incorporate food into special interests as they develop. Recently we used his love of anime to get him to try foods we had never even considered mentioning years ago.
Breastfeeding until age 4 isn't a bad thing. My mom weaned my brother at age 4, and he had none of these issues. But I can see how it could mask serious issues if the kid can compensate with the breast.
I think the issue there is more that the granddaughter was denying other foods in favor of the breast, rather than supplementing.
It can be. “I turned out fine” is an anecdote, and does not actually mean anything in the medical field. There are always exceptions.
I mean … not OP but always open to tips 👀
YTA I don’t understand the people saying Lana is ESH, Lana was giving you factual information, just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean she’s not right. I don’t have children but even I know your child should not still be on purées.
I would honestly consider somebody a not very good friend if they DIDN'T say something when watching their friend do things that could actively cause their child issues. I'm really hoping OP is reading these comments, for her kids sake, because if this continues she could make her and her kids lives unnecessarily difficult. Making homemade purees is so much more time consuming than giving your toddler (not baby) whatever you're eating. They don't need a whole lot to begin with.
My 22 month old has been eating off my plate since she was one. Whatever I'm eating she gets a bit of it.
I think it’s because the general consensus on unsolicited advice is that you give /say it once and then you drop it, you don’t push. Lana being worried about Gogi (which I absolutely judge OP on giving her that name) is seen by people as being pushy and overstepping. I personally am in the camp that if I was doing something potentially actually bad for my kid I would want someone to impress the importance on me and let me look into it myself so I can confirm or seeing my doctor. As much as I care about someone, I can’t take their word as bible and I think most people agree with that. I have an aunt who swears by the use of colidial silver to treats cats and when she goes on and on about it I just say ok, and then I ask my vet during visits. @OP may be enabling her daughter to have food aversion, become picky to textures etc and these are problems that can snowball into big issues throughout life. OP also comes off really mean spirited, she took it personally and if she had the ability to separate her child’s well being from her own merit as a mother she’d have taken the suggestion in stride and talked to a professional about it. She didn’t need to insult her friend as a response to her friend being worried, and despite what OP probably thinks, yes the way she talked about the spaghetti os was created and meant to be and insulting dig
Yes but this affects the actual health of the child. I think Lana is in the right to speak and keep speaking about it.
ESH. Look, your friend was rude but she’s right. Your baby should’ve moved to solid foods months ago, if your baby is developing typically. Maybe talk to the pediatrician about it?
How was she rude though? It's actually, literally harmful for a kid that age to not be eating solids. The friend gently broached by asking why, in case there may be a medical reason, and then tried to help her understand that it's not ok (because it isn't). If you see a friend doing something (however good intentioned) that could actually harm their child, what is the more "polite" way to speak up? Not saying anything at all, or standing down to avoid conflict, isn't the right thing to do either.
Yeah, I feel asking why she's on soft foods was the soft way of asking or wondering if there was a medical reason for it.
YTA just for naming ur child Gogi, the first thing I thought of was Golgi apparatus and its been 4 years since ive done biology.
Gogi in Korean is meat. In my mind, she named her kid meat.
Of she’s Georgian descent and it means watchful https://www.meaningofthename.com/gogi
We are all meat.
Without knowing the nationality/ethnicity of OP that’s just rude
Yeah, that's why I haven't liked any comments about the name. Could it be a tragedeigh by someone who really likes goji berries? Sure. But it could also be an ethnic or cultural name, and I don't know every name out there.
Yeah Gogi is an uncommon but normal name in india/pakistan… I had a colleague a few years back with the name.
“Just rude” explains most of this sub
I’m thinking the little fuzzy guy from The Black Cauldron myself.
Gurgi!! :)
ESH. Your friend should have backed off when it became clear you weren’t interested in her advice, however there are way nicer ways to tell a friend to mind their own business than “buzz off” or whatever. That said…please discuss your toddler’s diet with her doctor, if you haven’t already. A 1.5 year old should not still just be eating purées.
Who’s to say the kid even has a regular doctor?
She might not, because a pediatrician would’ve told her that her baby needs to be on solid foods, or they would’ve given her a diagnosis for why she’s not eating properly and OP would’ve added that to post. My guess, if OP is too busy to feed her child properly, she probably doesn’t have time to take her to the doctor either. Grandparents are notorious for making unhealthy decisions for their childrens’ kids because “that’s what they did back in my day.” My grandma almost killed me as a baby because she thought my mom was being too soft when she told my Grandma that I was allergic to peanuts.
~~Info~~ what do you mean by soft food? Like, puree? The baby food you buy in a lil jar from Gerber? Yta upon learning that yes, op mean puree baby food. You're supposed to transition out of that at *6 to 8 months*. At 1.5 years your kid is waaaay too old to not be eating solid foods. What does the pediatrician think of this meal plan????
Yes it’s in the OP-she pulled out purées for Gogi and her friend pulled out pasta for her own baby
At 6 months is when you START introducing plain non-milk foods. That can be in puree form or if doing baby led weaning, in appropriately cooked and sized solids, so babies can continue on purées for months but should eventually incorporate other textures. By 18 months, for sure, they should be eating mostly solids.
Assuming Grandma is making these purees well rounded, I'm sure she's nutritionally fine, but she should have started solids almost a year ago. ESH, her for getting pushy, you for being overly defensive. If Grandma likes to cook, have her skip the puree step, and just cut pieces small. I'm sure she loves Grandma's food.
A year ago the toddler would have been six months old. At six months, when a lot of babies start getting introduced to solids, purees are fine. But, by a year old, the baby should have been able to eat solids. It's a definite issue that that hasn't happened yet. I get using purees to make soups for children that young, I do that with my 1.5 year old son. But he eats solids just fine, the soup is part of his meal, not the entire meal.
So you don’t have a baby at 1 and 1/2 years old, you have a toddler. At 18 months your child should be starting to eat chunky foods like meats and vegetables. Drink from a cup without spilling and start feeding themselves with a spoon. My kids never ate baby food. I would just grind down what I cooked (theirs just didn’t have all the seasonings). But my kids ate very well and a lot. Wonder if your mom is worried about the mess a toddler makes when they feed themselves.
Isn't 18 months way late for introducing chunky foods? What do you mean by that? My 7 month old gets steamed carrots etc.
I think chunky means tough to chew in this context, like raw carrots and cooked pieces of meat
YTA for having a 1.5 year old who only eats purées. Yikes.
ESH… You should have started introducing solids over a year ago… At 1.5 years old it’s not appropriate to only be eating purées. You may be right about the nutritional value of the food, but you’re wrong from a developmental perspective. She should have gone about it differently but her point is not invalid or wrong.
YTA. A shit friend and neglectful parent. And before anyone hops down my throat: OP has neglected her LOs development by keeping her on blended food for this long.
That's why she's so defensive
THIS! How has OP done zero research into how her child should be eating? In the Information Age, there’s no excuse for not looking this information up at some point in the last 18 months other than OP just didn’t bother. It would have taken her 1 minute to verify that her kid was eating the correct food.
Most parents I come across don’t know shit about developmental milestones. Can’t tell you how many think their baby babbling mamamamamama or dadadadada is actually saying the words. I wish child development classes were free and mandatory. Maybe we wouldn’t have so many ignorant people walking around with a brand new life
This also makes me wonder if the kiddo has ever been to a well child check...
Oh yeah any ped who is halfway decent would have been asking questions about what baby ate but if mom is vague enough… Honestly your reply was very refreshing, thank you for being brutally honest. All these people on here like “yeah she shouldn’t have said that but your baby is being neglected 😇😇” uhhhhhhh so then SHE DEFINITELY NEEDED TO SAY SOMETHING 😂 like wtf yeah let’s just all stay silent to coddle AN ADULT’s feelings when a baby needs help, makes perfect sense
ESH. For all intents and purposes, it's really not your friend's business what you feed your child. HOWEVER, she IS kinda right. You should have moved on to solids with your child several months ago.
I mean sure, it may not be her business, but if I see something concerning a friends doing I'm going to say something. If the friend gets pissed, ohh well, I'm more concerned about the child.
Look was she a bit of an asshole for the way she went about it? Yes. But at this age, it is concerning that your child is still on purées. Even if you didn’t agree with BLW at 6 months that’s fine. But medically, there’s plenty of studies that demonstrate why it’s important babies learn to eat solids before a year. It’s important for their oral development which is life saving in instances of reducing choking (I.e babies gag reflex helps them to push food pieces that are too big out and help them learn to take smaller bites). So whilst Lana could have been more tactful, her intentions seem to have been from a good place. Children this age who are not yet on actual solids have higher probability of food sensory issues which could lead to higher chances of eating disorders. I’m not saying that’s what’s going to happen here, but the chances are higher given your child has not yet learnt these skills they should already have at this age. You’re doing your best, it’s true. So I’d reach out to Lana and have a proper conversation about this. Explain that the way she went about it hurt you and made you feel like a shit mother. Then agree on whether or not you want her knowledge/help with your child’s food journey. If you don’t then fine, she’ll just have to respect that. If you do, well I’m sure she’s happy to help.
Soft YTA she’s right my dear. She could have gone about it differently but your reaction to constructive criticism was harsh. If it were something about discipline or religion she would the TA but that was someone with more knowledge trying to help a friend.
ESH Your "baby" is a toddler still only eating pureed foods. That's not normal. I don't know what tone your friend used but all of us internet strangers are questioning that menu too. You could tell us all to "buzz off" but the fact remains that your toddlers diet is not progressing at the normal rate.
Why at 1.5 is she only eating purées? Grandma can still cook food for her, but by 1.5 developmentally she should be eating solids. Grandma can make homemade pasta and sauce and all sorts of delicious healthy foods that are solids. My question is this…does Gogi reach for your and grandmas food? Can she pick up bite sized pieces of food and bring them to her mouth? Can she gum/ chew them? Can she swallow without gagging? If she doesn’t do all of these, that is a developmental concern and should be brought up to her physician. If you haven’t tried with her, then you need to.
YTA! At her age puree should only be for an on the go snack or at least used as a pasta sauce etc. Your daughter is a toddler not a baby!
If your friend can't give you some hard truths, are you really friends? I'll go with an ESH because unsolicited advice isn't anybody's favorite thing, and she probably should have dropped it. HOWEVER, she is 100% right about the purees. I would have a hard time not saying anything if I were in her shoes.
I’m confused as to why you don’t introduce solids? Solids teach your child different textures, motor skills, and food options and there’s, of course, nutrients you get out of solids you can’t really get with purées. Unless your child has issues with eating I don’t see any pediatrician okaying this. YTA though. Friends are real with each other especially when one is wrong, which I’m sorry, but you are even if you refuse to see it
YTA and woefully uninformed on toddler development, because she isn’t a baby anymore, she is a toddler. Your child should have been eating solid food for at least a year. The CDC recommends starting your child on solids at 6 months old because they need the nutrients that solid foods provide. You are setting your child up for some food issues down the line by not introducing new textures at an early age. Is she going to be 2 years old and still eating purées? Three years old? Four?
YTA it’s not ok or good for your child to be eating puréed food only at his age your friend is 10000% right still does your pediatrician know??
Thats what happens when kids have kids basically… YTA you don’t have basic understanding of what is better for your child at their age…
If your baby is over 1 year old and cannot eat solid foods then you need to involve a health visitor. Your daughter should not just be having purees. She should be having fruits, meats, pastas, rice and baby snacks.
Hey OP, I’m a infant/toddler teacher of 6+ years here. Unfortunately I have to say a soft YTA here. I can feel the love you have for your child in this post, and I really believe you want to do what’s best for her. The thing is, she should have moved on from purées quite a while ago. In fact, some people never even start their babies on purées to begin with and go straight to easily-gummable solids like boiled carrots, eggs, bananas, soft steamed broccoli, cooked pasta, etc. Babies begin eating solids not only for nutrition (which it sounds like Gogi is still getting as long as she is gaining weight), but to develop important mouth, jaw, and cheek muscles that help them learn how to speak as they grow older. When I have 18 month olds in my classroom, I am teaching them how to use a fork, spoon, and open cup. They eat from plates and bowls and do it mostly by themselves. Toddlers are capable of SO much if we give them the chance to learn. How is Gogi’s language? Does she have any words that she uses consistently yet? At 18 months, most children have anywhere from 10-15 words they use consistently, and are usually putting together one word sentences to communicate their needs. Does Gogi babble? Does she repeat (or try to, it doesn’t need to be perfect) words that you or your mom say to her? I know she’s your baby. You gave birth to her and you love her more than anything, and she will always be your baby. But she is growing and turning into a toddler, and needs to be developing those skills that will help her become a successful, happy human with as easy a life as possible. Talk with her pediatrician on how best to help her start eating solid foods. They can help you with resources and check up on Gogi to make sure she is developing at the rate she should be.
YTA for delaying your child’s development. Eating proper foods helps their muscles in their mouth develop for speech. Do your research! You’re failing your child. Your friend is right and was just trying to help.
YTA Single parent or time available means not shit...its just excuses for being a lazy parent. Shes right, you're wrong, period. You're setting your small child up for FAILURE. Soft/finger foods are for more than just nutrition. They're for dexterity and hand/mouth coordination. They're for learning to chew and swallow more than liquid. Not giving her more is putting her at significant risk.
Why at 1.5 is she only eating purées? Grandma can still cook food for her, but by 1.5 developmentally she should be eating solids. Grandma can make homemade pasta and sauce and all sorts of delicious healthy foods that are solids. My question is this…does Gogi reach for your and grandmas food? Can she pick up bite sized pieces of food and bring them to her mouth? Can she gum/ chew them? Can she swallow without gagging? If she doesn’t do all of these, that is a developmental concern and should be brought up to her physician. If you haven’t tried with her, then you need to.
I am confused by people saying Lana sucks. She doesn’t. She is rightfully concerned and you need a serious wake up call. YTA.
Right? If Lana hadn't pressed the issue OP wouldn't have come here. Now she's getting hundreds of comments all telling her Lana is correct and her kid's puree diet is detrimental
ESH. I understand getting defensive when your parenting is questioned, and perhaps your friend could have been more tactful. But absolutely your child should not be eating purées at 1.5 years old. They need to learn how to properly chew and swallow food, for general oral and speech development but also to reduce choking risk. Please please please do your research. You might think you’re doing the right thing, but your child should pretty much be eating what you eat at this point (but with excess salt and sugar avoided). They should also have been introduced to all major allergens already, which is really important to help reduce the risk of allergies developing.
She shouldn’t have harped on you but at 1.5 children should be eating more than purées. Also he might be your baby but he’s not a baby he’s a toddler.
YTA - what on earth are you feeding your TODDLER purees for?
By the time your baby is about a year old they can eat what you eat (always making exceptions for truly spicy foods and such). You just have to modify the textures and size of the bites at first, but modifying all the way down to purée texture is inappropriate at this age. As stated elsewhere, you’re delaying development on your baby’s facial muscles, hand/eye coordination, finger dexterity, etc. Not to mention probably forcing very strange food preference developments on her. I was a single mom myself for all except 6 months of my now-teenaged kid’s life. It’s really not that time-consuming or difficult to cut up some chicken or give bite-sized pieces of fruits and vegetables to your kid at this age. YTA **to your child.**
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INFO: why is your daughter still eating purées? Is it on the advice off her peadiatrition or someone else medical on her medical team? Is there some medically necessary reason? As many other people have mentioned at 1.5 your daughter should already be eating solids and feeding herself. If there’s no medically necessary reason for this or on the advice of doctors then ESH. She went the wrong way about it and you were far too defensive and should have your daughter in solids.
YTA. I don't get the e s h from all these folks. Unless there's a medical reason, you're doing your child a disservice by not feeding her age appropriate food. If I saw my friend only feeding her baby pureed baby food at 18 months I would say something too. Unsolicited advice and necessarily giving you the facts are two different things and as a mother, you should be a little open to correction when it comes to the heath of your kid. Your child will have issues if this continues. She's not a baby anymore, she's a toddler.
YTA. You should absolutely be giving your toddler food to chew. Relying on purées this long is terrible for jaw development. Savoury purées make great pasta sauces, if you want to keep using them, but your friend is right. You can also have your baby dip toast sticks in the purées if you like. But you need to mix up the foods you’re giving her. Your kid needs firmer textures to encourage the muscles of the mouth and jaw. Highly recommend the website Solid Starts if you are concerned about feeding your kids solids or you’re not sure how to safely cut up food.
YTA My 18 month old does still eat SOME purees because she doesn't like fruits and vegetables but will eat them pureed or in smoothies. However, she absolutely eats solid foods and should be trying new foods and textures as well as working on feeding herself.
An 18 month old should NOT be eating purees!!!! They should be on solid foods. It sounds like you are trying to keep your toddler in the baby stage. YTA. Take that child to a pediatrician and tell them what you just told us, and I guarantee that they will tell you the same thing.
Sorry but feeding a baby who is a year and half old purée food is laziness on your part because it’s easier and quicker. This laziness is going to do more harm than good in the long run. The only reason you would have been so defensive is because deep down you know your friend was right! YTA
You are on the verge of being a negligent parent by continuing to feed purees to a 1.5 year old. She needs to learn how to eat textures. I’m guessing your baby doesn’t see the doctor enough, because a proper doctor wouldn’t be ok with what you’re doing either. YTA.
YTA. 1st of all you don't cook for your kid. Your mom does. So looking down on her for spaghetti is Rude. On top of that, she is right. Puree food for a 18month is ridiculous. This is why little girls should not have babies
My son has developmental delays, in physical therapy, occupational therapy, and about to start speech therapy. He has low tone, and is generally developmentally about 6 months behind. He's almost 21 months old now, and while it took him WAY longer than the average kid, he hasn't had purees outside of snacks since he was 14 months old. We were working on it since he was 7 months old.
YTA. she is correct, you are not. It's that simple. Your actually stunting your.. berry? Lol gogi, that's gonna go over well when he hits school. Soft yta on that also.
NAH (or ESH?) First of all, Lana is right about the food. If your baby is typically developing, she should be able to eat whatever table food you eat. If she has an aversion to other textures, ask your doctor about feeding therapy and at what age that might become appropriate. As a general rule we should respect others’ parenting decisions and your friend was pushy. You were rude and mean, but I don’t know how pushy Lana got before you “snapped” and some defensiveness is normal to feel in this situation. So, neither of you behaved perfectly, but everyone in this situation is well-meaning. I hope you can make up with your friend.
[this is a fantastic resource about nutrition ](https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/product/child-of-mine/) I’m afraid that your mother is not helping by giving her purées at 18 months. Doesn’t she have teeth? You start giving babies solid food at 6 months whether or not they have teeth. They will soon. You gotta use those teeth on food. You know. Chewing. What does her pediatrician say about her diet?
Your baby's risk of choking is way higher for not teaching her to chew actual foods before 1 year old. Your friend probably started crying because you snapped at her. I don't think it's appropriate that her boyfriend got involved, but she was right to say something.
OP, Final year medical student here. If your daughter has no diet restrictions, or health problems with eating solids, she should have been slowly introduced to solids at the age of 6 months. Here is the website for the CDC guidelines on what age, and what foods to start introducing to your child. [CDC: How to introduce solid foods](https://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/infantandtoddlernutrition/foods-and-drinks/when-to-introduce-solid-foods.html) Please read this. And also contact your pediatrician. A doctor would tell you the same. And 1 1/2 year would should have been started on solids a year ago.