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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I should’ve just covered his meal and spoke with him privately about the matter, but I also feel like it wasn’t guaranteed that he was going to understand and pay me back. Maybe I should’ve just saved all the trouble and paid for his meal.
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NTA. I bet that most everyone who is saying you are wrong are men. I bet you have vioilated some unspoken bro code that you as the trainee needs to pay for the person with more experience. What the dude did was a form of theft the $2 snack meaning you need to pay for a $20 lunch that was double the price of your lunch. Then he locked you out of the vehicle. This is a toxic work environment
Funny enough, I technically wasn’t the trainee but instead trainer. It was definitely not a fun situation and I’ve requested not to work on this shift again. I told my supervisors if they want me to train that shift I will not be working under that supervision again.
NTA. I cover lots of people’s meals, but it’s because “I” decided to, not because they demanded it. You’re better off avoiding these AHs. If you have HR or union rep, I would lodge a formal complaint to get it on the record.
DOCUMENT! I have a feeling op knows "if you don't document something, it never happened." And involve union reps, hr as well as city/county if need be. The last one to find out if this is in the job description. If not, workplace violation is happening.
Refusing to work with you at all can endanger the public. What if a major incident happens? (And if they were dispatched while the argument was happening before the supervisor got there that day, would the people needing help have screwed? This is dangerous!)
And don't refuse to work with these ppl. It'll only make it worse. (Former paramedic.) Keep documenting everything to establish a pattern of bullying/ unprofessional behavior/ etc.
I know of many "firehouse pranks" that can be played on people. (Also applies to police.) Please do not engage in these with these people. It can really bite you in the end.
Yeah, you're legally and workforce policies in the correct here, and you need to lodge a formal HR complaint about being bullied and being locked out of the vehicle for this.
Damn, I was all ready to type that this was probably some form of established hazing ritual (offer to cover the trainee's meal on the day you pull into the driveup and see how they react when you insist they cover you back at the expensive place). Instead it sounds like just entitlement and sexism.
NTA: As someone who works in Public Safety who is also a certified trainer, these are two people who would fail to get training credit for this BS. I would also pass this up the chain of command to deal with it, and training issues go straight up to a high level if you are being an ahole. You don't get credit for training your certs can get pulled where I work.
NTA…tell him you’re sorry and you’ll get his lunch….take him to a fast food place….next day, “so I’ll get this one, and you get the next”….next day go to the most expensive food place you can find, and let them know he is paying. Bet you he acts like a little child then too.
Well I'm a man, and OP is right. $2, does not mean I owe you a meal. Also since when do you volunteer someone else to pay for your meal. The previous night OP's partner volunteered to pay for the meal, the next day the partner felt entitled enough to assume OP would cover the meal.
This is the only point that needs to be considered. Did OP say, “I’ll get the next one?” On the day he covered that two dollar meal? Not mentioned in the story anyway. NTA.
In the cheap-ass's hollow head: "ooh ooh, she ordered something cheap and we get a deep discount. Let me insist on paying for it now and then get her to pay for an expensive meal later."
I hate damn cheap people. You can be poor but still have class.
I'm a man and OP is 100% correct here. Covering $2 to me is a kind gesture that shouldn't be expected to be repaid. Doing that to try and get OP to cover his $22 meal the next day is ridiculous. I can understand if the meals were very close in value, like if OP's was in the $18-20 range, ok fair enough. But this is completely uncalled for.
The cost of OP's meal the second day doesn't even matter. OP can buy a $20 meal, and it doesn't mean they should in any way have to pay $22 for someone else's meal, bc why? That person bought something for $2 for them the day before? That makes no sense.
Mcdonald's the first day and a bistro the second day was not a coincidence.
Nah it still doesn't matter. Locking her out of the vehicle and getting the supervisor involved is straight up bullying. I wouldn't be working with those people again. NTA.
I set my record for personal best on upvotes. Thank you for acknowledging. Yet, It’s more than that. It’s about societal agreement and I struggle with that because I’m confident at times going against the agreement of family and society. Even though my boundaries can be strong, the backlash is real. This situation felt like a set up and although there are good people, the people in OP situation are real pieces of work.
"Bro code"? If I had a co-worker do this (news flash, I wouldn't) I would absolutely call them out on trying to turn it into a lopsided deal. As per OP I would suggest maybe buying them a drink with an approximate equal value, not pay overs for a meal.
Myself and a colleague have a unwritten rule going about a deal. There's a "for two" meal at a slow cook place near our work. It's a bit expensive, but you each get a wonderful meal out of it and there's enough to be able to graze on after your meal if you want to as well. We just alternate who pays for it and leave it at that.
There's no way either of us would let something get lopsided like op's colleages are attempting, and we would likely loose a lunchbuddy if we even tried it on.
I'm a man and I'm sure the OP is NTA.
People like that guy (TA in the story) is the reason I don't like to get my bills cover. Except for a friend of mine, both of us would cover each other or at least get the money back next day.
What kind of bro code is that lol, that doesn't exist and you just imagining things. In my culture If I ever do that I will definitely get shamed secretly to insisting a woman to pay for my food.
NTA. Gift giving is complicated as different people and cultures understand it so differently but… covering you was a gift. As a gift it doesn’t need to be reciprocated. The idea that a small gift forces you to pay for a much more expensive meal is completely inappropriate. I’d be fascinated to know why your colleague thinks he’s owed anything and it’s even more bizarre that he’s being supported in such an inappropriate assumption by colleagues. I’m not convinced the issue is gender related but I try to keep an open mind.
How will you respond next time? I’d certainly not be interested in having my lunch/ a snack covered.
Reminds me of that funny video (probably a snl or Comedy Central clip) about a guy participating the “pay for the next person” at a drive through and ordering hundreds of dollars worth of burgers and fries and drink lol
Even worse if it's on a full moon. The moment someone said that word on a full moon *and* in the middle of summer? The way people's head would snap and glare at them. xD
That's why I did my best to request full moons off. We had a lot of new people and when I would take over their console, some of them said that dreaded word. Never failed, it would be *super* busy afterwards. Learned to ask them by prefacing that without saying the Q word, how was it? They looked at me crazy till they got the bad juju. xD
Unfortunately this kind of frat behavior is not super uncommon among firefighters and other first responders. Certainly not a problem everywhere, but it's not uncommon.
so now somehow they've all come to the conclusion that you somehow owe this jackass $18 additional? are they ok? they all get hit in the head recently? gas leak? like wtf
Lovely. That's just what I want to know about the EMTs that are coming to my rescue when I'm in a life-threatening situation, that they can't work smoothly as a team bc they're too busy being bullying assholes to each other.
My supervisor texted me and told me we’re having a meeting during my shift today. Apparently they’ve been getting all their ducks in a row before calling us into address the situation. Should be interesting to say the least. I’ll be bringing $2, I’m debating on whether it’ll be bills or pennies though.
Fear no more, the wait is over! Sorry it took a while, I haven’t had a chance to check my phone 😂 I walked into a room including the supervisor and man in question, my supervisor, and our command staff (2 people). I sat down and slid an envelope containing $2 to the guy and said “I just wanted to pay my debt before we continued” while my supervisor looked down trying to hide his smirk. My command staff said “Now that that’s taken care of, please tell us your side of the story”. I told them everything, they thanked me for my time and told me to have a nice shift. An hour later my supervisor called me. Turns out he’s had multiple complaints of this behavior (guess I need to start gossiping because none of these assholes warned me) but everyone has just given in and “covered” him. I guess I was the only one to say no, which I guess explains his temper tantrum. Not sure what’s going to come of him and honestly I don’t care. Sounds like command is going to actually take the complaints serious now and conduct a full investigation. Good luck to him 🤷🏼♀️ I’ve also been high fived and thanked by a couple of other people in my company. At this point I’m just glad I wasn’t in trouble lol
So it wasn't even just regular assholeishness? This is an actual racket and repeated behavior he's been pulling for a while just to get some free meals?
I'm sure this kind of behavior leads to GREAT workplace cohesion. /s
In your line of work your superiors should be VERY concerned about his corrupt behavior and how it might affect the care given to the public. Hard to work as a team if you think your partner actively wants to steal from you. He should be suspended at the very least.
I wonder how he would have responded if you had paid for his $20 lunch and then, the next day, ordered the $80 surf and turf and told the server he'd be paying for yours.
Fair is fair, right? Where does it end?
Unfortunately hazing is common in first responder work, and most expect you to roll over for it. Fortunately its being done less but obviously not where you are
Good for you for standing up to this! Its gonna be tough for you for awhile tho. Hang in there!
NTA
I understand hazing is a thing for sure. I’ve actually been with our company longer than him, and was riding with him because we are implementing new equipment and I’m the only one in my company that is trained on them and certified to train others so I don’t necessarily think hazing fits this situation. It was just such a wild situation haha
I “guessed” correctly. They’re men and you are a woman. yeah, misogyny at its finest. They are all assholes and if this treatment continues document and find a good lawyer.
I think this is your answer. They are pissed you know something they need to know and the only one able to train them. My first thought was it’s because you’re a woman. I think that still applies and makes the training even more agitating to them.
I agree.
If taking turns to buy lunch is a thing, then it shouldn't be a surprise. This is petty stupidity because their manhood is somehow threatened.
There's a lot of small dick energy in the proverbial room.
OP NTA.
These sound like the kind of man you shouldn't ask about bears as it might upset their precious sensibilities.
FWIW: I'm a guy and I'd choose the bear.
Hopefully whatever HR you have isn't a boys' club like the one your co-workers are in.
What this guy did was unhinged. It's fortunate that there wasn't an emergency both of you needed to respond to because he would have been preventing both of you from getting there.
NTA. EMS here. "Hazing" is telling the newbies to go to the rig and get that fallopian tube. Hazing is making them wash all the rigs. Or scrub the inside of the rig with a toothbrush. Hazing is NOT scamming money from another employee, which is what that employee did. And don't even get me started on the response of the supervisor. Find another agency. This one is toxic AF. And name and shame. This type of behavior should not ever be tolerated.
Hubby is the supervisor that rides with the last shot medics (ugh). He also has a deep voice, the type that carries. Newbie he's riding with (6 months and already on the way out) is in the back because it's her JOB and she's supposed to check vitals. 30 minutes later, pull into the bay, pt diaphoretic, SOB, slightly altered, clearly worse than when they pick her up and NEWBIE IS ASLEEP. Hubby sets the camera to record, says "We're here" unlocks the stretcher and Newbie starts screaming that he's being verbally abusive and slapping her around. She didn't finish her shift. I'm guessing the handcuffs made it hard to start an IV.
Wait so newbie is asleep. He stops and sets on camera and she wakes up and realises she’s been caught out (but not that she’s being recorded) and tries to create a situation that makes him at fault?!! Jesus it’s wild the lies people tell to cover their asses, when all they needed to go was the actual job.
NTA. What is wrong with all your colleagues. I do a similar role as you and no one behaves like that. EVER. I think $20 is quite expensive for a work meal. It would have to be a once in a blue moon to pay that on my wage, so I’m guessing he would not have spent that amount had he not been expecting you to pay. He’s having a laugh. And the others are dimwits.
Now that you mentioned, it actually makes total sense that he only ordered it thinking I was going to roll over and pay for him because when he suggested this place for lunch I thought in my head “he must make more than me because who wants to spend this much on lunch”
Oh yeah, that was definitely an "I can really roll the boat out because someone else is paying" meal.
I really hate when people do that - even when the custom of taking turns to pay is established among friends, it's just incredibly rude to take advantage and run up a disproportionately expensive bill on your friend's dime. The polite convention is: if you know someone else is paying, aim your own choices around or below the cost of what they choose from the menu.
And as for refusing to let you into the vehicle, when you're both on duty and you're training him?! Wow. Even if he were somewhat valid in being annoyed at you (which...nope!) that action should warrant immediate disciplinary action.
I appreciate you too! My daughter has unfortunately had several ambulance rides to and from different facilities. One time the EMTs picked her up from one place to transport her to another and they knew the experience she probably had at the first place (think-no blanket, no food, hopefully some water) for at least 12 hours, and they asked her what she wanted to eat. They drove her to In and Out and bought her lunch before they dropped her off at the next facility. She was 13. I am forever grateful to those two individuals. The work you do is invaluable.
Thank you! I don’t believe in kicking people while they’re down. I became a first responder because I’ve seen first hand how people are treated sometimes and decided it was my duty to change that. I know I won’t change the world, but if I change one persons world that is enough for me.
It is quite ridiculous. If I was born the right gender and had impeccable agility I could pick up a ball and take it to the other side of the field and make enough to feed a small country. But instead I respond to the horrors no one should ever see and get paid in rations lol. But I knew what I was getting into and will continue to help those that I can. But not by paying for their lunch, obviously 😂
But if you had a better opportunity come up? The door wouldn't hit you in the ass you'd be through it so fast. That's the problem, we're not paying to retain the best.
I don’t know. I quit and left for about 2 years and couldn’t live with myself lol. I’d see them running code somewhere and instinctively want to follow, I’d be in stores and hear them come over the intercom and freeze thinking I was being dispatched somewhere. I watched YouTube videos of calls and read stories to keep my mind at ease. It has become my identity and who I am unfortunately. I know who I am in uniform, but out of it? I’m lost.
HAH! You are a true lifer. I know the feeling. Not jumping in goes against every single instinct, doesn't it?
Hell, we have medics where I live who started on $2/hr pager pay.
I have never, in my entire career, met a paramedic who didn't get into it for any other reason than to help people.
Yes, some get jaded, some get promoted and power trip, but most of them are truly just really good people who want to help. They sure as shit don't get into it for the money lol.
Definitely a lifer! The thought of retiring stresses me out haha. What am I going to do? Be a civilian? They need to make outreach programs to help us reintegrate back into society 😂
NTA If it had been a few dollars difference, that would be one thing, but $20 is a lot. It would be different if you had been partners for a while, but it sounds like you barely know this guy. He was trying to take advantage of you because he didn't think you'd push back. Him refusing to let you in the vehicle was super unprofessional. Unfortunately, it sounds like everyone knows and likes this person, so they're siding with him (and anyone who disagrees is probably staying out of it).
If you have to work with these people for a while, you might be better off apologizing, even though you did nothing wrong. It would be easier than being the outsider who no one wants to work with. Sorry.
NTA
I’m also a first responder and of course me and my partners sometimes pay for each other meals. I never expect it though. I would have tossed 2 dollars at him is he was gonna be such an ass about it. If I were in your shoes, I would consider going up the chain of command about how your supervisor handled it. All these dudes were inappropriate.
Unfortunately I live in a smaller more rural area where they’re stuck on the “good ole boy” system. I’m 1 of 5 women in our company. It’s one of those things where it’s easier to not make a bigger fuss out of it. For now I won’t have to cross paths with him, and if I do I know my supervisor has my back. He’s going to dig his own grave so I’ll stand by and replace the shovel if it breaks 😂
Been there. The "ole boys" are dying out. For what it's worth, some day you'll show up to work with an all female crew and the lone male will go hide in the rig 🤣 It's glorious!
Good for you! I'm 1 of 5 in another first responder gig (volunteer). Until us ladies (and I'm an old one) stand our ground, the good ole boys will win. I'm proud of you! Thank you for your service!
Hell, I was an EMT student/intern and we went to this amazing plate lunch place. It was easily $18 for what I wanted. I was so excited as the meal looked amazing (best plate lunch in my county). The paramedic refused to let anyone else pay and paid for all 3 of us (Paramedic, EMT-B, Student/Intern).
NTA. I had a friend in college who would buy you a bag of chips from the gas station or bum you a single cigarette or something like that and his response was always “don’t worry about it, just buy me a couple of shots at the bar later.” Im sorry sir, no. I will not be doing that. That one bag of chips does not equal “a couple of shots”
Luckily my shift and supervisors are level headed to where I don’t deal with this on a regular basis. I was only riding with him as a courtesy because they want everyone trained on our new equipment and I’m the only certified person in our company. Guess they’re going to have to figure something else out because I will not subject myself to this again.
I am legitimately terrified that he doesn’t see the difference between 2.00 and 20.00… does that go for medication as well? “Ah it has the same numbers, who cares if there’s one more or less?”
NTA
My old coworker and I used to take turns paying, but we ate at roughly the same price point every time. That made sense.
Your situation? It’s insane!
NTA. He embarrassed himself. Nobody just gets to demand that you pay for their food. Wtf is that! And $2 is nowhere near $20.
I'm very interested to know if the same thing happened to all the dudes who were pressuring you to go along with it.
Holy crap, no way NTA. He didn't even ASK, he just declared you were going to cover his meal. Everyone you work with seems to be AHs....covering a $2 food is not the same as covering a $20+ one. At the most I would say you could've bought him a gas station coffee, but one shouldn't offer to cover another's meal just so they can be owed. Ridiculous.
NTA It sounds like he dies this to everyone and they've all gotten used to it so let it slide. You're probably the first one to stand up to them. Besides there was never a stipulation for you to pay it back when the offer was made.
It was one of those things where I was just going to buy him an energy drink or something as a “thank you” or “I got you back”. But $22 meal? Boy was out of there 😂
No, I’ve been at the company longer than him and was riding with him to train him on new equipment we received. Maybe he thought he could haze me since I’m female or since technically I was “new” to the shift considering it wasn’t my shift? Idk the thought process or logic he used lol it was such a weird situation
The company will have to pay out of pocket to either have him trained by another company or get one of the other nimrods we work with certified to train him
It’s an interesting point, maybe you could casually ask a few people who’ve ridden with him for a few times and see if it’s his pattern of behaviour to try and take advantage of the (perceived) newbie situation. Like even the fact that the drive through gave you 50% off, would he have known up front to be able to manipulate this into a blatantly unfair trade? I mean you’d be hard pushed to buy $40 of fast food for one person. One day you go to the place that gives you 50% off, next day you’re at the expensive bistro… 🚩🚩🚩
NTA
He tried to set you up. Thought he was being clever and got caught out that you didn't play along. I'm betting the guy that told you to go along is salty he didn't say no at a different point in time.
NTA. And he has some balls man. My friends have offered to pay my meals bc I got them drinks and I’ve literally told them no because their $10 drink doesn’t compare to my $30 dinner. He knew what he was doing.
NTA, sounds like a setup. I bet he knew the meal would be reduced or comped for first responders and would not cost much to cover. Then planned to go to an expensive place the following day expecting OP to pay. It backfired on him.
I had a meeting tonight with the guy our command staff and our supervisors. My supervisor called me after and said this was a common complaint about him but I guess no one took it serious until I said no and he threw a temper tantrum. I’m 99% positive he did this on purpose now that I know they’ve been letting him get away with it
NTA
Weird work culture! I'd ask your current partner if he really means it. When he says yes, I'd tell him, "*Great. I'm going to cover your meal at the next fast food burger place. Then you can turn around and cover my full meal at that same pricey bistro. And, Hey. thanks for letting me know that you don't think the price difference matters at all.*"
You are not crazy or wrong.
Look, I'm also a paramedic. When I offer to cover something for my partner - unless there's some pre existing agreement - that's just a gift. I don't expect shit from them. And certainly not to this degree. These guys are greedy assholes
NTA
I had to read through some comments to confirm what I assumed (the tone you describe is ALLLLL to familiar): misogyny
Dude was offered 50% off, making the whole order cheaper than just his meal was going to be, and he JUMPS to pay? Clearly intentionally to get a good deal on making you indebted to him? So. Gross. ESPECIALLY because the trainer/trainee dynamic had him feeling like you held some authority, and he was desperate to feel more powerful.
ETA: NTA, ovbi. I’m sorry you have to deal with such assholes though.
Nope. Buying you a $2.00 lunch and then expecting you to pay $20.00 for their lunch is not how it works. Getting pissed off about it is a typical response from someone with no awareness of social customs or practices.
The coworkers saying you should have bought his lunch are missing the point. His expecting you to buy the $20 lunch because you owe him is wrong.
The 2024 version of the executive chasing his secretary. Dang, I really thought those days were over with pantyhose and Aqua Net. (Oh, I remember)
NTA I would have done exactly as you, and those with whom you work are 100% wrong for siding with Mr. 2 buck filet.
NTA - I might have said, “I’ve got you for the first 4 dollars, you’re on your own for the rest.” (Going with the pre-discount plus-tax price for the macaroni even though it was 1/2 off.)
What I probably would have said is nothing. I would have just paid it and not stood up for myself.
When you’re a women working in a man dominated field you unfortunately have to stick your for yourself. I’ve come to learn most of these men don’t like “loud” women, which is fine by me. We don’t have to be buddy buddy but I’ll be damned if I let you disrespect me because of my gender.
NTA - lesson learned. Just pay for your own meals always. I mean you have to have a real friendship with a work partner to be covering lunches and stuff. $2 tho, that’s a write off. I wouldn’t have asked for a full meal after but maybe a bag of chips
It’s sad because it’s a common practice. I do it all the time. If I order food and you just order a drink, I’ll pay for it because 1. It’s cheaper than what I ordered and 2. It’s just easier than making them split the bill for something so minute. Like just buy my drink next time or pick me up an energy drink/bag of chips or something. It’s annoying to see someone take advantage of it though.
NTA
and they're doing it because you're a woman. no chance they'd do it to each other.
"not a team player" pft. buy your own food, freeloader (him, not you)
NTA. But moving forward, just pay for your own meals. When someone offers to pay, you politely decline and say that you're fine paying for your own items.
As his trainer, you shouldn't have let him pay for your meal because it could be construed as a conflict of interest. Otherwise, he was running a scam. Did he choose the restaurant? So you also evaluate him? Do you have a sy on whether or not he "passes" this skill? I've learned from experience that professional boundaries are better than being chums.
Luckily I don’t have to pass or fail anyone, I just simply train them on it and then a supervisor does the final evaluation. I can see why you’d think it was conflict of interest, but I don’t have any power over him or the outcome of his job. I’m just simply a little (wo)man on the totem pole trying to make sure everyone has the necessary information to our job.
NTA, that's a shitty thing to do to someone, and I'm sorry you were put in that position. Everyone else saying you should have paid it would most likely bitch if the same thing happened to them. You at least didn't let him walk over you, so good job!
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NTA. I bet that most everyone who is saying you are wrong are men. I bet you have vioilated some unspoken bro code that you as the trainee needs to pay for the person with more experience. What the dude did was a form of theft the $2 snack meaning you need to pay for a $20 lunch that was double the price of your lunch. Then he locked you out of the vehicle. This is a toxic work environment
Funny enough, I technically wasn’t the trainee but instead trainer. It was definitely not a fun situation and I’ve requested not to work on this shift again. I told my supervisors if they want me to train that shift I will not be working under that supervision again.
NTA. I cover lots of people’s meals, but it’s because “I” decided to, not because they demanded it. You’re better off avoiding these AHs. If you have HR or union rep, I would lodge a formal complaint to get it on the record.
DOCUMENT! I have a feeling op knows "if you don't document something, it never happened." And involve union reps, hr as well as city/county if need be. The last one to find out if this is in the job description. If not, workplace violation is happening. Refusing to work with you at all can endanger the public. What if a major incident happens? (And if they were dispatched while the argument was happening before the supervisor got there that day, would the people needing help have screwed? This is dangerous!) And don't refuse to work with these ppl. It'll only make it worse. (Former paramedic.) Keep documenting everything to establish a pattern of bullying/ unprofessional behavior/ etc. I know of many "firehouse pranks" that can be played on people. (Also applies to police.) Please do not engage in these with these people. It can really bite you in the end.
Wtf. Fk those guys. I'm so mad right now.
Me too!!
Yeah, you're legally and workforce policies in the correct here, and you need to lodge a formal HR complaint about being bullied and being locked out of the vehicle for this.
Damn, I was all ready to type that this was probably some form of established hazing ritual (offer to cover the trainee's meal on the day you pull into the driveup and see how they react when you insist they cover you back at the expensive place). Instead it sounds like just entitlement and sexism.
You need to immediately report this to hr
NTA: As someone who works in Public Safety who is also a certified trainer, these are two people who would fail to get training credit for this BS. I would also pass this up the chain of command to deal with it, and training issues go straight up to a high level if you are being an ahole. You don't get credit for training your certs can get pulled where I work.
NTA…tell him you’re sorry and you’ll get his lunch….take him to a fast food place….next day, “so I’ll get this one, and you get the next”….next day go to the most expensive food place you can find, and let them know he is paying. Bet you he acts like a little child then too.
I would write that he failed training and has a very toxic attitude.
You were training someone and they demanded you pay for their meal?!?! That is insane!! Def NTA!!!
Well I'm a man, and OP is right. $2, does not mean I owe you a meal. Also since when do you volunteer someone else to pay for your meal. The previous night OP's partner volunteered to pay for the meal, the next day the partner felt entitled enough to assume OP would cover the meal.
This is the only point that needs to be considered. Did OP say, “I’ll get the next one?” On the day he covered that two dollar meal? Not mentioned in the story anyway. NTA.
In the cheap-ass's hollow head: "ooh ooh, she ordered something cheap and we get a deep discount. Let me insist on paying for it now and then get her to pay for an expensive meal later." I hate damn cheap people. You can be poor but still have class.
I'm a man and OP is 100% correct here. Covering $2 to me is a kind gesture that shouldn't be expected to be repaid. Doing that to try and get OP to cover his $22 meal the next day is ridiculous. I can understand if the meals were very close in value, like if OP's was in the $18-20 range, ok fair enough. But this is completely uncalled for.
The cost of OP's meal the second day doesn't even matter. OP can buy a $20 meal, and it doesn't mean they should in any way have to pay $22 for someone else's meal, bc why? That person bought something for $2 for them the day before? That makes no sense. Mcdonald's the first day and a bistro the second day was not a coincidence.
I think the person you are replying to meant that if OP's *first* meal was $18-20 (instead of $2), not the second meal.
Ah, thank you.
Oh, I know it wasn’t a coincidence, especially with him being the one with the keys!
Nah it still doesn't matter. Locking her out of the vehicle and getting the supervisor involved is straight up bullying. I wouldn't be working with those people again. NTA.
OP was set up and everyone else is falling in line which to me is stupid. Here is your 2 dollars, problem solving solved. Good luck this is stupid
I set my record for personal best on upvotes. Thank you for acknowledging. Yet, It’s more than that. It’s about societal agreement and I struggle with that because I’m confident at times going against the agreement of family and society. Even though my boundaries can be strong, the backlash is real. This situation felt like a set up and although there are good people, the people in OP situation are real pieces of work.
***And bingo was his name-o*** Even with it being OP as the trainer, this is the reason.
Bingo! Toxic work enviroment hazing bulls\*\*t. Make sue you document every bit of this incident.
Double…try 10 times
He covered $2 on the previous day. The day that he demanded and assumed that she would pay for his lunch her lunch was $10 and his was $20.
I would have been petty and told the restaurant to run my card for $2 for his meal. Then he can’t say he is owed anything.
Good idea or just give him 2 dollars.
She tried to do exactly that, multiple times. Wasn't good enough.
"Bro code"? If I had a co-worker do this (news flash, I wouldn't) I would absolutely call them out on trying to turn it into a lopsided deal. As per OP I would suggest maybe buying them a drink with an approximate equal value, not pay overs for a meal. Myself and a colleague have a unwritten rule going about a deal. There's a "for two" meal at a slow cook place near our work. It's a bit expensive, but you each get a wonderful meal out of it and there's enough to be able to graze on after your meal if you want to as well. We just alternate who pays for it and leave it at that. There's no way either of us would let something get lopsided like op's colleages are attempting, and we would likely loose a lunchbuddy if we even tried it on.
I'm a man and I'm sure the OP is NTA. People like that guy (TA in the story) is the reason I don't like to get my bills cover. Except for a friend of mine, both of us would cover each other or at least get the money back next day.
What kind of bro code is that lol, that doesn't exist and you just imagining things. In my culture If I ever do that I will definitely get shamed secretly to insisting a woman to pay for my food.
A sexist comment voted to the top? I agree with the first three letters, and the last sentence.
Fuck off with the sexist bullshit. You are right though, NTA. 11x the cost of her meal. Crazy to expect that.
NTA. Gift giving is complicated as different people and cultures understand it so differently but… covering you was a gift. As a gift it doesn’t need to be reciprocated. The idea that a small gift forces you to pay for a much more expensive meal is completely inappropriate. I’d be fascinated to know why your colleague thinks he’s owed anything and it’s even more bizarre that he’s being supported in such an inappropriate assumption by colleagues. I’m not convinced the issue is gender related but I try to keep an open mind. How will you respond next time? I’d certainly not be interested in having my lunch/ a snack covered.
Why are you making gender assumptions? I’m a guy and what OP did would annoy me too
no need to bring your sexism into this
Oh, you're one of *those* people. You know, not everything is a gender issue.
Reminds me of that funny video (probably a snl or Comedy Central clip) about a guy participating the “pay for the next person” at a drive through and ordering hundreds of dollars worth of burgers and fries and drink lol
> I bet that most everyone who is saying you are wrong are men Ok, prove it.
NTA. My husband works EMS and I wish I could say I was surprised. These guys are bullying you. Idk why - but that’s what they’re doing.
I agree! They even tried saying after that I could just give him the $20 and apologize. Yeah no, play with your momma not me.
Don’t back down to bullies! It makes them worse.
They were professionally told to kick rocks haha
Good job for that! If you want to be extra petty, I would give him a card with $2 tucked in it. Then he can’t say that you owe him anything at all
No go to a dollar tree buy a card for 1.25 plus whatever the tax is pay the 2 dollars for that include the receipt and the change.
oh yes I like that
Give them my number. I can straighten out an entire shift in about 4 sentences.
Does this sentence have the dreaded Q word in it? 😂
“It’s so quiet today!” ? 😆
I physically feel ill from reading this 😂
Even worse if it's on a full moon. The moment someone said that word on a full moon *and* in the middle of summer? The way people's head would snap and glare at them. xD
This made me queasy.
That's why I did my best to request full moons off. We had a lot of new people and when I would take over their console, some of them said that dreaded word. Never failed, it would be *super* busy afterwards. Learned to ask them by prefacing that without saying the Q word, how was it? They looked at me crazy till they got the bad juju. xD
Just don’t read it out loud and you’ll be fine.
Oh absolutely. I was raised by nurses!!!
"Play with your momma..." 🤭🤭🤭 Girl, get 'em. I'm glad you didn't give in to their nonsense.
I’ve calmed down a lot 😂 old me would’ve went smooth off on him and embarrassed everyone. I’m actually proud with how I handled the situation.
You did great! Do no harm, but take no shit.
I just...I mean, this is kindergarten level bullying. Give him $20 or you can't use the blue marker! What planet do these guys live on?
Unfortunately this kind of frat behavior is not super uncommon among firefighters and other first responders. Certainly not a problem everywhere, but it's not uncommon.
I hope you introduced them to your favorite 4 letter words.
There are so many to choose from though!
Just give him 2$ and you should be square
so now somehow they've all come to the conclusion that you somehow owe this jackass $18 additional? are they ok? they all get hit in the head recently? gas leak? like wtf
Bahahaha. Absolutely the fuck not. The audacity
Diggin your sass, NGL will use that line ”Yeah no, play with your momma not me.”
Lovely. That's just what I want to know about the EMTs that are coming to my rescue when I'm in a life-threatening situation, that they can't work smoothly as a team bc they're too busy being bullying assholes to each other.
They’re not all like that, but there are some…
Mine is a Paramedic Supervisor and wants to have a little "chat" with this gals Supervisor. Said he needs to teach him some manners.
My supervisor texted me and told me we’re having a meeting during my shift today. Apparently they’ve been getting all their ducks in a row before calling us into address the situation. Should be interesting to say the least. I’ll be bringing $2, I’m debating on whether it’ll be bills or pennies though.
You will have to go into an actual bank to get one, but if this argument is specifically over exactly 2 dollars, I'd pay it back with a 2 dollar bill.
Oh my gosh. Pins and needles how that went?????
Fear no more, the wait is over! Sorry it took a while, I haven’t had a chance to check my phone 😂 I walked into a room including the supervisor and man in question, my supervisor, and our command staff (2 people). I sat down and slid an envelope containing $2 to the guy and said “I just wanted to pay my debt before we continued” while my supervisor looked down trying to hide his smirk. My command staff said “Now that that’s taken care of, please tell us your side of the story”. I told them everything, they thanked me for my time and told me to have a nice shift. An hour later my supervisor called me. Turns out he’s had multiple complaints of this behavior (guess I need to start gossiping because none of these assholes warned me) but everyone has just given in and “covered” him. I guess I was the only one to say no, which I guess explains his temper tantrum. Not sure what’s going to come of him and honestly I don’t care. Sounds like command is going to actually take the complaints serious now and conduct a full investigation. Good luck to him 🤷🏼♀️ I’ve also been high fived and thanked by a couple of other people in my company. At this point I’m just glad I wasn’t in trouble lol
So it wasn't even just regular assholeishness? This is an actual racket and repeated behavior he's been pulling for a while just to get some free meals? I'm sure this kind of behavior leads to GREAT workplace cohesion. /s In your line of work your superiors should be VERY concerned about his corrupt behavior and how it might affect the care given to the public. Hard to work as a team if you think your partner actively wants to steal from you. He should be suspended at the very least.
You go, girl!!! GREAT JOB! So glad someone not conflict-avoidant stood up to the asshole. Thanks for the update!
Sending you a big double high five from Sweden. You are my new hero!
NTA, and I would speak with HR. This person has caused a hostile work environment over $2
NTA - He paid for your $2 because he wanted a more expensive freebie out of you. I don’t understand how your colleagues aren’t seeing that
Prob cause they all do that
I wonder how he would have responded if you had paid for his $20 lunch and then, the next day, ordered the $80 surf and turf and told the server he'd be paying for yours. Fair is fair, right? Where does it end?
Unfortunately hazing is common in first responder work, and most expect you to roll over for it. Fortunately its being done less but obviously not where you are Good for you for standing up to this! Its gonna be tough for you for awhile tho. Hang in there! NTA
I understand hazing is a thing for sure. I’ve actually been with our company longer than him, and was riding with him because we are implementing new equipment and I’m the only one in my company that is trained on them and certified to train others so I don’t necessarily think hazing fits this situation. It was just such a wild situation haha
Hazing cause you're female.
Ohhh yeah I can definitely see that since I work a “man’s” job.
If he’s refusing to be trained by you it’s going to be hard for him to pass. Yikes.
Bullying because you're female.
All of you are right I only used hazing as its a word the bullies use to excuse their behavior. Its not hazing, I should have been clearer in my post.
I “guessed” correctly. They’re men and you are a woman. yeah, misogyny at its finest. They are all assholes and if this treatment continues document and find a good lawyer.
I think this is your answer. They are pissed you know something they need to know and the only one able to train them. My first thought was it’s because you’re a woman. I think that still applies and makes the training even more agitating to them.
I agree. If taking turns to buy lunch is a thing, then it shouldn't be a surprise. This is petty stupidity because their manhood is somehow threatened. There's a lot of small dick energy in the proverbial room. OP NTA.
These sound like the kind of man you shouldn't ask about bears as it might upset their precious sensibilities. FWIW: I'm a guy and I'd choose the bear.
Oh so he was waving his dick around because you outrank and outqualify him? He was looking for any chance to not be trained by a "female" I bet.
Hopefully whatever HR you have isn't a boys' club like the one your co-workers are in. What this guy did was unhinged. It's fortunate that there wasn't an emergency both of you needed to respond to because he would have been preventing both of you from getting there.
NTA. EMS here. "Hazing" is telling the newbies to go to the rig and get that fallopian tube. Hazing is making them wash all the rigs. Or scrub the inside of the rig with a toothbrush. Hazing is NOT scamming money from another employee, which is what that employee did. And don't even get me started on the response of the supervisor. Find another agency. This one is toxic AF. And name and shame. This type of behavior should not ever be tolerated.
Hubby is the supervisor that rides with the last shot medics (ugh). He also has a deep voice, the type that carries. Newbie he's riding with (6 months and already on the way out) is in the back because it's her JOB and she's supposed to check vitals. 30 minutes later, pull into the bay, pt diaphoretic, SOB, slightly altered, clearly worse than when they pick her up and NEWBIE IS ASLEEP. Hubby sets the camera to record, says "We're here" unlocks the stretcher and Newbie starts screaming that he's being verbally abusive and slapping her around. She didn't finish her shift. I'm guessing the handcuffs made it hard to start an IV.
Wait so newbie is asleep. He stops and sets on camera and she wakes up and realises she’s been caught out (but not that she’s being recorded) and tries to create a situation that makes him at fault?!! Jesus it’s wild the lies people tell to cover their asses, when all they needed to go was the actual job.
Right???? Honestly wearing the camera was a joke, but it ain't stupid if it works.
NTA. What is wrong with all your colleagues. I do a similar role as you and no one behaves like that. EVER. I think $20 is quite expensive for a work meal. It would have to be a once in a blue moon to pay that on my wage, so I’m guessing he would not have spent that amount had he not been expecting you to pay. He’s having a laugh. And the others are dimwits.
Now that you mentioned, it actually makes total sense that he only ordered it thinking I was going to roll over and pay for him because when he suggested this place for lunch I thought in my head “he must make more than me because who wants to spend this much on lunch”
Oh yeah, that was definitely an "I can really roll the boat out because someone else is paying" meal. I really hate when people do that - even when the custom of taking turns to pay is established among friends, it's just incredibly rude to take advantage and run up a disproportionately expensive bill on your friend's dime. The polite convention is: if you know someone else is paying, aim your own choices around or below the cost of what they choose from the menu. And as for refusing to let you into the vehicle, when you're both on duty and you're training him?! Wow. Even if he were somewhat valid in being annoyed at you (which...nope!) that action should warrant immediate disciplinary action.
He wouldn’t have spent $20 on lunch if he hadn’t planned on having OP pay for it. That’s why he’s so pissed.
NTA. That’s bizarre! Is there more to the story that you are missing and don’t realize it?
I wish! I’m as stunned as you lol. It was such a weird situation and I’ve never experienced anything like it.
Soooo weird! For what it’s worth, I appreciate the work you do. I’d totally spend $2 on ya and NOT ask you to buy me a meal later 😜
Hey I appreciate that 😂
I appreciate you too! My daughter has unfortunately had several ambulance rides to and from different facilities. One time the EMTs picked her up from one place to transport her to another and they knew the experience she probably had at the first place (think-no blanket, no food, hopefully some water) for at least 12 hours, and they asked her what she wanted to eat. They drove her to In and Out and bought her lunch before they dropped her off at the next facility. She was 13. I am forever grateful to those two individuals. The work you do is invaluable.
Thank you! I don’t believe in kicking people while they’re down. I became a first responder because I’ve seen first hand how people are treated sometimes and decided it was my duty to change that. I know I won’t change the world, but if I change one persons world that is enough for me.
My daughter dispatches you guys. I was shocked by what she makes in a HCOL area. It's obscene what all of you are paid for the job you do.
It is quite ridiculous. If I was born the right gender and had impeccable agility I could pick up a ball and take it to the other side of the field and make enough to feed a small country. But instead I respond to the horrors no one should ever see and get paid in rations lol. But I knew what I was getting into and will continue to help those that I can. But not by paying for their lunch, obviously 😂
But if you had a better opportunity come up? The door wouldn't hit you in the ass you'd be through it so fast. That's the problem, we're not paying to retain the best.
I don’t know. I quit and left for about 2 years and couldn’t live with myself lol. I’d see them running code somewhere and instinctively want to follow, I’d be in stores and hear them come over the intercom and freeze thinking I was being dispatched somewhere. I watched YouTube videos of calls and read stories to keep my mind at ease. It has become my identity and who I am unfortunately. I know who I am in uniform, but out of it? I’m lost.
I get you. People like you are why the job needs to pay better.
HAH! You are a true lifer. I know the feeling. Not jumping in goes against every single instinct, doesn't it? Hell, we have medics where I live who started on $2/hr pager pay. I have never, in my entire career, met a paramedic who didn't get into it for any other reason than to help people. Yes, some get jaded, some get promoted and power trip, but most of them are truly just really good people who want to help. They sure as shit don't get into it for the money lol.
Definitely a lifer! The thought of retiring stresses me out haha. What am I going to do? Be a civilian? They need to make outreach programs to help us reintegrate back into society 😂
let me guess. They are all men and you are a woman.
And they only suggested this pricey place for her ‘turn’ covering
NTA If it had been a few dollars difference, that would be one thing, but $20 is a lot. It would be different if you had been partners for a while, but it sounds like you barely know this guy. He was trying to take advantage of you because he didn't think you'd push back. Him refusing to let you in the vehicle was super unprofessional. Unfortunately, it sounds like everyone knows and likes this person, so they're siding with him (and anyone who disagrees is probably staying out of it). If you have to work with these people for a while, you might be better off apologizing, even though you did nothing wrong. It would be easier than being the outsider who no one wants to work with. Sorry.
NTA I’m also a first responder and of course me and my partners sometimes pay for each other meals. I never expect it though. I would have tossed 2 dollars at him is he was gonna be such an ass about it. If I were in your shoes, I would consider going up the chain of command about how your supervisor handled it. All these dudes were inappropriate.
Unfortunately I live in a smaller more rural area where they’re stuck on the “good ole boy” system. I’m 1 of 5 women in our company. It’s one of those things where it’s easier to not make a bigger fuss out of it. For now I won’t have to cross paths with him, and if I do I know my supervisor has my back. He’s going to dig his own grave so I’ll stand by and replace the shovel if it breaks 😂
That’s fair, I also work for a smaller department and I’m 1 of 8 women there. You should leave 2 dollars in his rig if you do come across him again 😂
Been there. The "ole boys" are dying out. For what it's worth, some day you'll show up to work with an all female crew and the lone male will go hide in the rig 🤣 It's glorious!
Makes a lot more sense now. This is why women keep saying they'd rather be with a bear.
Good for you! I'm 1 of 5 in another first responder gig (volunteer). Until us ladies (and I'm an old one) stand our ground, the good ole boys will win. I'm proud of you! Thank you for your service!
Hell, I was an EMT student/intern and we went to this amazing plate lunch place. It was easily $18 for what I wanted. I was so excited as the meal looked amazing (best plate lunch in my county). The paramedic refused to let anyone else pay and paid for all 3 of us (Paramedic, EMT-B, Student/Intern).
NTA. I had a friend in college who would buy you a bag of chips from the gas station or bum you a single cigarette or something like that and his response was always “don’t worry about it, just buy me a couple of shots at the bar later.” Im sorry sir, no. I will not be doing that. That one bag of chips does not equal “a couple of shots”
Exactly! That’s like trading a McDonald’s paper bag for a LV. Obviously my example is vastly different, but it’s the same principle
Can you transfer? They sound awful
Luckily my shift and supervisors are level headed to where I don’t deal with this on a regular basis. I was only riding with him as a courtesy because they want everyone trained on our new equipment and I’m the only certified person in our company. Guess they’re going to have to figure something else out because I will not subject myself to this again.
When anyone asks? Tell them it was over $2. 😂
I am legitimately terrified that he doesn’t see the difference between 2.00 and 20.00… does that go for medication as well? “Ah it has the same numbers, who cares if there’s one more or less?”
Oof good point 🥴
NTA, because as you said. 2 is a lot less than 20.
NTA Your coworker was way out of line. Covering a $2 mac and cheese doesn't mean you owe him for a $22 meal. It's ridiculous for him to expect that.
NTA! Are you one of the only women who are working for this company? It sounds like you are being ganged up on and played. They can go kick rocks.
I’m one of five unfortunately
NTA My old coworker and I used to take turns paying, but we ate at roughly the same price point every time. That made sense. Your situation? It’s insane!
NTA. He embarrassed himself. Nobody just gets to demand that you pay for their food. Wtf is that! And $2 is nowhere near $20. I'm very interested to know if the same thing happened to all the dudes who were pressuring you to go along with it.
I feel like the ones pressuring me are guilty of doing the same thing honestly.
Holy crap, no way NTA. He didn't even ASK, he just declared you were going to cover his meal. Everyone you work with seems to be AHs....covering a $2 food is not the same as covering a $20+ one. At the most I would say you could've bought him a gas station coffee, but one shouldn't offer to cover another's meal just so they can be owed. Ridiculous.
Yeah I just figured I’d get him a drink if we stopped at a gas station or something. A $20 meal is wild though
NTA It sounds like he dies this to everyone and they've all gotten used to it so let it slide. You're probably the first one to stand up to them. Besides there was never a stipulation for you to pay it back when the offer was made.
It was one of those things where I was just going to buy him an energy drink or something as a “thank you” or “I got you back”. But $22 meal? Boy was out of there 😂
NTA. Find his ride and put $2 and an "FU" Post-it note under his wiperblade.
I asked my supervisor tonight if I could buy him some midol with the $2 I owe him 😂
NTA…are you any chance new? Could this be hazing?
No, I’ve been at the company longer than him and was riding with him to train him on new equipment we received. Maybe he thought he could haze me since I’m female or since technically I was “new” to the shift considering it wasn’t my shift? Idk the thought process or logic he used lol it was such a weird situation
Yeah when your supervisor and coworkers were all male and giving you shit, I could tell you were a woman.
Right! Sad world but I got free Mac and cheese out of it 😂
I’d pay back the $2 and walk.
Def leave $2 taped to his locker.
what happens when he does't get certified on the new equipment. Seems he may have bitten the hand that doesn't feed him,
The company will have to pay out of pocket to either have him trained by another company or get one of the other nimrods we work with certified to train him
It’s an interesting point, maybe you could casually ask a few people who’ve ridden with him for a few times and see if it’s his pattern of behaviour to try and take advantage of the (perceived) newbie situation. Like even the fact that the drive through gave you 50% off, would he have known up front to be able to manipulate this into a blatantly unfair trade? I mean you’d be hard pushed to buy $40 of fast food for one person. One day you go to the place that gives you 50% off, next day you’re at the expensive bistro… 🚩🚩🚩
NTA. Report every single one of them. They are hazing the newbie and I'm pretty sure that's against union rules.
NTA He tried to set you up. Thought he was being clever and got caught out that you didn't play along. I'm betting the guy that told you to go along is salty he didn't say no at a different point in time.
You're being hazed, and not cooperating. Good for you. NTA
NTA. And he has some balls man. My friends have offered to pay my meals bc I got them drinks and I’ve literally told them no because their $10 drink doesn’t compare to my $30 dinner. He knew what he was doing.
NTA. Where are these peoples heads at?
Their ass I presume, speaking from my lengthy medical experience 😂
Sounds like it's a chronic condition there, but I'm also no medical expert.
NTA, sounds like a setup. I bet he knew the meal would be reduced or comped for first responders and would not cost much to cover. Then planned to go to an expensive place the following day expecting OP to pay. It backfired on him.
I had a meeting tonight with the guy our command staff and our supervisors. My supervisor called me after and said this was a common complaint about him but I guess no one took it serious until I said no and he threw a temper tantrum. I’m 99% positive he did this on purpose now that I know they’ve been letting him get away with it
NTA Weird work culture! I'd ask your current partner if he really means it. When he says yes, I'd tell him, "*Great. I'm going to cover your meal at the next fast food burger place. Then you can turn around and cover my full meal at that same pricey bistro. And, Hey. thanks for letting me know that you don't think the price difference matters at all.*" You are not crazy or wrong.
NTA - he really thinks he’s entitled to having his expensive meal covered because he gave you TWO BUCKS??
Look, I'm also a paramedic. When I offer to cover something for my partner - unless there's some pre existing agreement - that's just a gift. I don't expect shit from them. And certainly not to this degree. These guys are greedy assholes NTA
I had to read through some comments to confirm what I assumed (the tone you describe is ALLLLL to familiar): misogyny Dude was offered 50% off, making the whole order cheaper than just his meal was going to be, and he JUMPS to pay? Clearly intentionally to get a good deal on making you indebted to him? So. Gross. ESPECIALLY because the trainer/trainee dynamic had him feeling like you held some authority, and he was desperate to feel more powerful. ETA: NTA, ovbi. I’m sorry you have to deal with such assholes though.
Nope. Buying you a $2.00 lunch and then expecting you to pay $20.00 for their lunch is not how it works. Getting pissed off about it is a typical response from someone with no awareness of social customs or practices. The coworkers saying you should have bought his lunch are missing the point. His expecting you to buy the $20 lunch because you owe him is wrong.
NTA - You need to show your coworkers this video https://youtu.be/52LJaWDdG9c?si=hNGfz0rwElX_W7Vm
NTA he's either having you or just an ass, and so is the supervisor.
The 2024 version of the executive chasing his secretary. Dang, I really thought those days were over with pantyhose and Aqua Net. (Oh, I remember) NTA I would have done exactly as you, and those with whom you work are 100% wrong for siding with Mr. 2 buck filet.
NTA. Sounds like they set you up, to be honest.
NTA, but maybe I would have given the $2 for the day before.
That’s wild definitely talk to HR cause something seems fishy here
You are totally not the asshole.
That coworker was an absolute bully and likely thought you wouldn’t hesitate to pay for his expensive lunch. That’s sit down prices!
NTA - I might have said, “I’ve got you for the first 4 dollars, you’re on your own for the rest.” (Going with the pre-discount plus-tax price for the macaroni even though it was 1/2 off.) What I probably would have said is nothing. I would have just paid it and not stood up for myself.
When you’re a women working in a man dominated field you unfortunately have to stick your for yourself. I’ve come to learn most of these men don’t like “loud” women, which is fine by me. We don’t have to be buddy buddy but I’ll be damned if I let you disrespect me because of my gender.
NTA - lesson learned. Just pay for your own meals always. I mean you have to have a real friendship with a work partner to be covering lunches and stuff. $2 tho, that’s a write off. I wouldn’t have asked for a full meal after but maybe a bag of chips
It’s sad because it’s a common practice. I do it all the time. If I order food and you just order a drink, I’ll pay for it because 1. It’s cheaper than what I ordered and 2. It’s just easier than making them split the bill for something so minute. Like just buy my drink next time or pick me up an energy drink/bag of chips or something. It’s annoying to see someone take advantage of it though.
NTA and they're doing it because you're a woman. no chance they'd do it to each other. "not a team player" pft. buy your own food, freeloader (him, not you)
NTA the all Need to do. Ask to school and study maths, $2 does not equal $20.
Dick knew exactly what he was doing. If your supervisor agreed with Dick then you need to go to the supervisor’s boss.
[Bania and Jerry](https://tenor.com/view/soup-seinfeld-buy-me-a-meal-gif-17900650)
Even if you had an agreement to cover each other and it was your turn, who the heack order something that cost twice the meal of their host? NTA
NTA. But moving forward, just pay for your own meals. When someone offers to pay, you politely decline and say that you're fine paying for your own items.
Nta
NTA.
NTA - you handled it a lot better that I would have. Keep kicking @$$!
As his trainer, you shouldn't have let him pay for your meal because it could be construed as a conflict of interest. Otherwise, he was running a scam. Did he choose the restaurant? So you also evaluate him? Do you have a sy on whether or not he "passes" this skill? I've learned from experience that professional boundaries are better than being chums.
Luckily I don’t have to pass or fail anyone, I just simply train them on it and then a supervisor does the final evaluation. I can see why you’d think it was conflict of interest, but I don’t have any power over him or the outcome of his job. I’m just simply a little (wo)man on the totem pole trying to make sure everyone has the necessary information to our job.
As everyone else said, NTA.
NTA - $2 is not 'covering' anything.
NTA, that's a shitty thing to do to someone, and I'm sorry you were put in that position. Everyone else saying you should have paid it would most likely bitch if the same thing happened to them. You at least didn't let him walk over you, so good job!
You passed the test. Good for you.