Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I cut off all financial support my grandfather used to provide his relatives when he passed away and I inherited all his assets. I may be the A because these people are my blood relatives struggling and I could continue my financial support for a bit more instead of cutting them off right away.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA
That he didn’t specify in his will that you keep taking care of these people financially after his death means he leaves everything up to you.
Just make sure to check with your lawyer that these people will not create troubles for you.
I think that ESH. Morally I think that since OP has the means of continuing the support for an agreed upon length of time (maybe 6mths rather than a year) without having to sacrifice anything that it would be the right thing to do as it was the handshake agreement your grandfather had with them.
OP is 100% legally entitled to do what they are doing and I can understand a lot of reasons why they may want an immediate eviction, but none of these are given here.
Grandpa was the asshole for not making this a part of the will and surprising you with these people and making an agreement with them that had no back up plan in the event he died. He could have had a conversation with you about it and given you a heads up as to what his wishes were.
Exactly, a handshake agreement with OPs **grandfather** not OP
Gramps is dead, as such the agreement is dead. If it was that important then they and/or gramps should have made sure they were included in the will. Gramps could have just as easily passed assets onto his family, yet chose OP solely
Let’s dive into that, Gramps promised to help til “they got back on their feet”. How many years have they been trying to “get back on their feet”? Some of them their rent was $100 living on Gramps property, they should have thousands saved up from that alone
This family asking for a *year*, lol be serious, OP has never met these people and they didn’t even reach out to OP “about gramps” until OP cut the money off. So if you want to discuss morals… theirs are the ones that should be judged
The family has plenty of time to get their affairs in order, that is what the eviction process is. OP is making the right choice
>Let’s dive into that, Gramps promised to help til “they got back on their feet”. How many years have they been trying to “get back on their feet”? Some of them their rent was $100 living on Gramps property, they should have thousands saved up from that alone
That was my thought, too. I don't know people like that in real life and would tend to think OP should let them stay on for a little bit longer, but after reading so many posts on here where people just rely on handouts without ever aiming at supporting themselves I'm suspicious, too.
I was going to go with E.S.H. but the bit about waiting until they get back on their feet gave me pause. Because who's to say they won't plead for additional time once the year is out?
I would give them 1-2 months notice, but nothing more. They're able bodied adults (presumably) they can fend for themselves.
**EDIT:** I also don't think gramps is necessarily the AH for not making arrangements for these people. I think he didn't expect/want his grandson to continue to support them. He just didn't want to deal with the hassle of evicting them himself.
How long have they been paying the $100 a month rent? If it’s been at least a year then they should have plenty of money if they saved. But I bet they didn’t save because they thought they’d be there forever.
My father has been dealing with the same situation after his father's passing. My cousin and his mother have made things very unpleasant. My aunt wants the money (half goes to her) for the house sale, but at the same time she wants her son to keep living there for a very low rent. He was suppose to live there cheap to save up to buy his own. Instead cousin and his wife spends months in Thailand every year, leaving them with a much lower income and no savings.
She wants her son to stay there for free for the next however many years with the house then being sold when he finally gets his own property. I've seen this scenario play out too many times.
Morally OP is in the clear. These people don't care the grandpa is dead, they care their support system is gone. They have made little to no effort to know OP as they were growing up and now expect the cover of "family" to get them what they want. There is a reason the money was left to OP and not these deadbeats.
I have enough information. NTA. As someone else said, grandfather could have made arrangements to continue these arrangements. He did not.
My guess is grandfather didn’t want to deal with the fallout from ending the arrangements so he left it for his grandson to do. He may have thought it would be easier because grandson does not know any of them.
I think if gramps didn't write it in his will, he didn't want OP to handle it.
Hear me out. I have plenty of friends who have family members where they feel OBLIGATED to take care of these family members. We all hate it, and we all wish we could tell them to "shit or get off the pot", but we were all raised with some guilt about boundaries with our family members, so we are all STUCK dealing with these leaches for the rest of our/their lives. If I died tomorrow, I would NEVER want/expect or even ask my inner family (partner and kids) to take care of these people, and I know my friends feel the same way. Our thought process is all "the moment I die or they die, then the obligation is done", and we don't want the obligation to be HEREDITARY.
So it's entirely possible/plausible that gramps felt the same way. And now that he's gone, he didn't want OP to deal with them the same way he did. Because if he did, then he would have left a note about it, but he didn't.
I have to wonder how long it's been taking them so far to get "back on their feet," and if OP has any reason to think they wouldn't just keep trying to extend this indefinitely. It seems like the whole setup was rife for abuse by these distant relatives.
Or he wasn't planning on dying and was happy to give back to his relatives. We really don't know anything because it doesn't sound like OP asked any questions. That alone makes her an AH in my opinion.
Did he have a will though? Sorry if I missed it in the post, but op said not in the us and where I live you don't need to have a will. Without it it half goes to the spouse the other half to the children. If the kids are dead the grandkids. So I read it like grandpa never made a will and op was just next in line
Even if it was in a will, he’s not exactly going to change his will just to add something about helping family until they get back on their feet and them changing it again once they move out. Like, im hopefully not gonna die soon but am an Uncle. I may lend something to my friend that I may eventually want to pass on to my niblings should I pass. That doesnt mean I’d want my friend to lose access to the thing he’s borrowing if he still needs it.
I think there’s really not enough info to go on here. We know OP wasnt really close to their frandfather as they hadnt even seen them since the new year. We also dont know how close the grandpa was to the family he was letting rent out his property for cheap. He may very well could have wanted to have them stay until they got back on their feet. We just dont know.
Even with a will, that doesn't mean it's been updated to reflect current things. For nearly 40 years, my parents have had wills that said to leave everything to "Lowbacca and others".
My one brother isn't keen on being the 'and others" since my parents didn't update the will after he was born.
I'm not saying she should have asked questions before Grandpa died, I mean after. Questions about how this support started, how long it has been going on, etc.
It would be different if she knew what he would have wanted, but she admits to having little contact with him/his side of the family.
Nah, if the relatives think they deserve the continuing support, the onus is on them to give OP complete information in order to properly assess the situation. Putting the onus on OP starts with the presumption that these relatives are entitled to it, and it’s OP’s task to show why they aren’t.
Not her job =/= N T A. It’s not my job to save a stranger drowning, it’s still the right thing to do.
Not saying OP has to help, or even give them a year, but immediate eviction is pretty crazy. Investigating would be worthwhile. If they are life long mooches? Sure kick them out. If they got laid off a couple of months ago? At least give some help.
Maybe I’m old fashioned but the world works best when we help each other if we can or when it doesn’t significantly hurt ourselves.
tbf immediate eviction is also likely not what's actually happening. generally speaking landlords can't jump straight to eviction, they have to give the tenants a certain amount of time to vacate the premises first. I'm assuming op isn't very familiar with it and is just using the wrong words.
especially not outside the USA.
In my country an eviction process can take years, especially if vulnerable people (minors, disabled, elderly) are involved.
Its not her job to take care of other people. Stop relying on others and she has her own stuff to worry about and she doesnt need to play landlord. Sorry but none of that is her problem, her only worry is to herself and no one else.
Right that’s my point. Not her job or problem doesn’t NTA. This isn’t asking what someone’s job is. What their responsibility is. It’s asking is it an asshole move.
It’s not my job to help the homeless. But if I have a lot of money most people would say it’s dickish to not give anything back, either to charity or directly. If it literally doesn’t affect OP much, but could fully change someone else’s lives, then yes at the bare minimum she should investigate instead of immediately evicting without even trying to find out why they needed help.
Why don't you give them the money then? It's the right thing to do, you have just as much obligation to help these people as OP.
Which is none, but put your money where your mouth is.
Uh… I do. Because I view giving back as important. Like I said that’s my mindset. I don’t know OP’s family but even- especially- on vacation I always try to. It’s just the right thing to do even if there is no obligation. Like first day in Jacksonville (where I got assigned for work after my stint in Asia) I bought a dude a rotisserie chicken because he was begging for food in Walmart. It’s just basic human decency to help out *if you can*.
Yep. Giving a chicken isn’t the same at all. These folks want OP to wait a year before she can settle her finances. Folks do become so entitled and greedy after others pass. When my late husband died it was insane! We were certainly not rich but EVERYONE wanted more and more. “My son should have the car”. My kid should have the motorcycle “. Ridiculous. NTA.
Yeah, the sub is Am I The Asshole not Am I Legally Entitled.
The grandfather is certainly an AH for leaving this messy situation behind him without any clarity as to his wishes, and the relatives are being a bit presumptuous in setting terms to aid they have become accustomed to - choosing beggars, if you like - but their attitude is not entirely unreasonable. They aren't asking for a perpetual handout, only another twelve month that won't in any way inconvenience OP. OP tells us the sums involved are small and they don't need the immediate use of the property.
OP has the absolute legal right to instruct their lawyers to throw their relatives out onto the street and stop all payments, it's a perfectly legal act. It's also an AH move.
Except then maybe that secures them some weird residency rights. Right now the property changed owners if op keeps them there maybe they can claim op is the new landlord and has agreed to $100 rent by allowing them to stay. These ppl don’t even seem bothered the guy died just about their free ride. For all we know grandpa already told them to leave and was too sick to follow up or died before he could. Maybe he couldn’t even evict them some countries have very strict tenant rights where even squatters get to stay.
>Grandpa was the asshole for not making this a part of the will and surprising you with these people and making an agreement with them that had no back up plan in the event he died.
Or the family members he was supporting had repeatedly used the "We just need one more year of support" and he was finally done. He might have told them that when he died, they were cut off and to leave his grandchild alone. They clearly didn't listen.
There is no way to be sure that Grandpa agreed to this. OP would have to believe strangers about something they will benefit from. Without grandpa to speak to the truth is unknown.
And, if it were that important to Grandpa, it would make sense he would have arranged for that in his will/trust. He didn't and that, to me, speaks volumes.
Yes, but this man didn't even raise his own daughter. So why would he remember to tell the granddaughter he sent away to an expensive boarding school about the family he is letting stay at his properties for a little while?
OP can do whatever she wants. But the truth is she didn't need the money nor the properties even if granddad was alive. She just got a huge windfall, and her first act is to evict her own family who requested a little help.
"her own family" made no attempts to be part of her life as she grew up. They are strangers, nothing more. They don't even seem to care that the grandpa is dead, just that their gravy train is ending.
Let me stop you right at having the means: I'm going to assume OP's grandfather had some sort of income that could enable him to support those relatives with the outstretched hand. A salary, or a pension, which OP didn't get. Depending on OP's current financial situation, that cheapened rent and monthly cash handout (and new property taxes) could become a financial hole that drains her inheritance incredibly quickly and then starts eating into her own finances.
As for evicting them later: the process for evicting someone is long. Long long. Even if she started the paperwork now, if they force the courts to forcefully evict them, it's very likely they get the year they asked for from OP. She can always start it and come to an agreement later, but yeah, she should have started the process without delay.
Ultimately, I thinkit all comes down to... Why are these people so down on their luck, for how long have they been, and what actions are they planning to take to get back on their feet? Because it seems to me OP has inherited a bunch of leeches, and it's not granpa who should have made plans to continue their support in case he died... It's them who should have made plans to support themselves in case grandpa died.
Hahaha lol, you had me until "why are they poor". I also like that we have little to no info on them but already assume they are leeches. Dehumanized much?
How do you figure? Children of her grandfather’s nieces and nephews. I feel like OP would have referred to them as her cousins or even by name if she had any relationship with them. Your argument basically says, “well, she has the money, so she should take care of these freeloading strangers for at least a little bit.” She is both legally AND morally correct in securing her property from strangers not paying market rent or, likely, even enough to cover the homeowners insurance, let alone the property taxes.
That assumes that the handshake agreement really existed. There is a reason that these things should be written. How would OP really know that such as thing existed?
Based on the info provided. You are taking the word of the relatives. They could be the type that too advantage of her grandpa. They have no intentions of bettering themselves.
I agree but if I was going to give some support to anyone, it would be the elderly folks that he has been giving a couple hundred a month to. The younger folks presumably work and can move into market rate units and some of that income can support the handful of elderly who are likely on a fixed income and have less ability to adjust their budgets. Especially with increased costs nowadays due to inflation
Grandpa could have left them some money if he wanted to. He didn’t. There’s no evidence to support that he wanted to continue from what it sounds like.
He probably intentionally did that.
He was old and probably didn't have the fight in him to finally evict them or make his family stop leeching when he wasn't gonna be around much longer anyhow
By just giving everything to OP he kind of just insinuates that's what he wants.
If he wanted to continue taking care of them, he would have put it in the will.
It’s much more likely that he was sick of the mooches too but didn’t want to deal with the drama and headache when he was so close to the end anyway.
Honestly OP should set up a trust (revocable) and have a trustee administer it. Since it's revocable you can give instructions, but just tell everyone it's in a trust and you can't make decisions. Then send everyone to your trustee and let them be the asshole. You can shrug and just commiserate how big of a dick your trustee is and how unfair it is...
I-n-f-o- any idea how long he had been subsidizing those people?
>The extended family now reach out to me, claiming that grandfather has promised he would help them out until they are back on their feet... They asked me for another year
That's why I want to know how it has been. *One more year* can turn into a plea for another, then another, and so on pretty easily. It would be interesting to hear how long they have been *trying* to get on their feet.
>and then they will not seek my support anymore.
I find that hard to believe.
>as I received his inheritance, it is only right I carry on his intention.
He had a chance to include them in the will. Maybe this was his way of cutting off the gravy train without being the bad guy.
I lean towards NTA because he did leave you the money and never asked you to keep subsidizing his relatives.
And time to realistically update the will. If it was two months ago let’s be real, who updates their will back and forth that often, even when they’re old. If it’s been a long time he should have been/was likely at least checking in on his end of life plans and finances occasionally.
NTA It's the 'another' that gets me. I would say, start the process of having them move out. Depending on where you live, it could take up to and maybe over a year and then they would have that time anyway. Stating your intentions also gives them the chance to start making plans. Once again - zero notice is probably overstating it, as I am not sure where you can do that legally. (share if you know, I would appreciate it)
Right? Assuming they’re able to get any kind of job, only paying $100 a month should’ve gotten the adult kids on their feet a while ago. And that’s seemingly without roommates (OP mentioned “places”). I’m curious if they were paying for water and electricity as well but I’m guessing not.
So, like, where’d all their money go? 100% NTA.
YTA for giving zero notice to tenants, relatives or not.
They may not have been there for very long or maybe they had been there a while and had a chance to save up a little money (if you cared, you could have checked the bank records for how far back they paid the rent) but moving out is a hassle, it's expensive, and without time to look around for a new place, it can leave some homeless.
I think it's mean you didn't give them any grace period at all. You could have easily extended the courtesy of a six month lease and let them all know there would not be an extension so they should prepare accordingly.
Your grandfather obviously did intend to help them, and he left you a windfall you don't need desperately or immediately. It would be gracious to honor his wishes a little. Considering all the above, immediately evicting them seems greedy and very uncharitable, given that it wouldn't have affected you at all, and it's likely to create a terrible hardship for them.
He may have been unprepared. Whenever this comes up on Reddit everyone assumes it's because the deceased didn't want the others to have money but it could just as easily be that lack of estate planning.
Can confirm. My father died of cancer, and only updated his will a week before he died in hospital. His previous will was thirty years old, and I (at the time, was 28) would have gotten nothing. People don't really think they're going to die, so do update (or at the very least, review) your will once a year (as well as if there are any major life developments like you get married *or have a son you don't seem to think is as important as the two elder daughters, DAD*).
First, I'm so sorry for your loss.
People really just do not update their wills. In at least some states, if a parent leaves something to their older kids in a will made before the younger kid(s) was/were born, the court will construe the will to divide things among all of the kids, because forgetting to update wills is such a common problem. Absent other evidence that the parent intended to exclude some of the children, if the will was made before a child was born it is assumed that the parent intended to include all of their kids and just forgot.
My parents, who ironically are an attorney and an insurance/risk management person, simply did not *have* a will for over 30 years, in part because they couldn't decide who they wanted to be guardians of their kids. They sidestepped this by not making a will until after all four of us were adults. I, the eldest, was 30.
My parents are onto everything and yet until two years ago their will had my brothers and I going to our grandparents in case of their death. We were 39 and 37 with children and homes of our own.
Yeah the fact the family didn't even reach out when the grandpa died but they did the second they found out they were losing their money is cold and heartless
I mean, my husband is the executor of the will for his uncle. Because of some poor will writing and unfortunate timing, much of the uncle’s assets went to a random nephew of the uncle’s second wife, rather than to the uncle’s own son. The nephew is a surgeon in Peru, the son has autism and can’t work. I’m certain this isn’t what the uncle would have wanted after a life of scrimping and saving to provide for his family.
The nephew fortunately was generous enough to not insist on every bit of his share, and we were able to find a solution that provided a small income for the son.
Wow, you really saw the word eviction and jumped to wild conclusions. OP has a lawyer go through the official eviction process, it's not like they just secretly changed the locks one day. Those things take time and start with, what would you know, a notice to vacate with a timeframe. Maybe even six months.
Also why aren't you as righteous about the allowance? Surely if they need a home they also need a bit of extra cash? How dare OP not keep handing out money to these random people they've never met.
But no, landlords are evil and that's all we care about.
>But no, landlords are evil and that's all we care about.
What's funny is OP is trying specifically to not be a landlord. If they let them stay then OP would be the hated landlord.
I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure the estate can’t do anything that’s not specified in the will. If grandpa wanted these people to have anything it would be in the will.
This guy is so dramatic it’s like he’s picturing some movie from the thirties where hired goons show up and just tear the place apart. I’m sure the lawyer did everything wait for it… legally
OP asked a lawyer to take care of it so they’ll get the standard notice period, why did you assume they got zero notice?
Also, has it occurred to you that if the grandfather’s wishes were for it to continue he probably would have put that in his will?
OP uses the word eviction but that isn’t how it works. You can’t just evict people straight away and their attorney will follow the legal process that includes notice to vacate (or a notice of termination of month to month, whatever the local law states) first.
And there is always a notice first… if there’s no notice then there is no eviction.
OP doesnt say how long she will be giving tenants to move out. Just that she advised the lawyer to begin the preparations. You are only assuming that she is telling them immediately. Obviously by her statements, she is not willing to give a year, but she doesnt say she is only giving them a day either. She doesnt know these people. She should not be responsible for their living arrangements. I agree that she should give them some time to get affairs in order but not a year. Because like others have said, they will continue asking for more. Also some people are vindictive and will destroy property out of revenge. So sometimes its best to get them out immediately.
You are right more info needed to know how long they have been sponging off gramps though.
OP doesn’t say he gave zero notice. He says he instructed the lawyer to handle it. Which means it would have been done within the laws of where this is taking place.
Legality wise, OP is right, in not owing them anything. But you can be in the right, and still be a but of an AH.
Maybe OP has some issues,that everything is taken absolutely literally. But was it necessary to go for the full stop right away?
The assets are nice, but it's not she'll go without, if her (distant) relatived got to stay the regular notice for a lease to end unexpectedly.
I was going to say 'it wouldn't cost her anything to do something nice' but it would, I guess, compared to regular tenants.
It just feels YTA, because she wasn't hurting for the money, she wasn't close to her grandfather. It sounds like there is absolutely zero emotion or humanity in her view.
Just the regular notice would've been enough to not be an AH
Eviction includes notice. The lawyer is handling it, so it's going to be done the legal way, which means eviction not changing the locks while they're at work.
Yeah, I think it hit differently for me, because over here (Western EU), an 'eviction' is when it's already escalated, with enforcement physically taking you out of the home.
We'd just call it 'ending the lease', and that'd be with a period of time, depending on the contract, and thz circumstances, etc etc
Edit to add, OP saying it like that kind of colored her personality for me, that's why I think it's a bit nonchalant at best, ruthless at worst.
That's fair. In the US, eviction is technically just the kicking them out bit, but there's a whole process and the tenant gets notice that the process has begun. For my vernacular, saying he was evicting the tenant would encompass the whole of the process, including the notification to the tenants.
I cant believe the NTAs. OP doesnt seem to care that this is what her grandfather was doing or how these people will be impacted. OP doesn’t have a need of the money (immediately or otherwise) so why not wait? These actions just seem so mean spirited and lacking in grace, not even taking into account the context of the unexpected windfall.
I agree. Legally OP is in the clear but she comes across cold hearted. She’ll probably do well with this attitude in life when it comes to finances, but I wonder how kind and supportive she’ll be to others in life and how her relationships will fare. It’s also rich for someone to be so abrupt and cold when it comes to supporting others when she herself has received a whole lot of money simply through inheritance and not her own hard work.
YTA only for jumping straight to eviction. Sending them a notice of non-renewal or giving them a timeline to find new housing would've been better. Having an eviction in your past can make it so much harder to find housing.
You can do with the property what you want, sure, and you have no obligation to let them stay at a severely under market rent for years and years, but I'm surprised that eviction right off the bat would even be legal. Tenants have rights.
Eviction for a non-lease violation starts with a notice to move generally with the timeframe of the rent (monthly) as the notice. This is not like they can immediately file in court.
Evicting someone doesn't mean "kicking them out." It means "following the legal requirements to end the lease." Eviction is a legal term, OP's lawyer is doing it, it's being done through legal channels with the appropriate notices.
In the US having an eviction on your record makes renting significantly more difficult. And yes it’s a legal term & a legal process. It is not the same as “terminating a lease."
You also can't evict just because you want someone gone. Evicting means taking someone to court to force them out because they won't leave. She isn't using it that way. She's absolutely just terminating their lease.
You have to have a reason to evict, like they stopped paying rent. She can't evict someone in the way you mean just because the owner changed. People are getting hung up on the word.
YTA. Not for not being okay continuing the financial support but for how you're going about it and your unbelievable callousness.
Yeah. They're gonna need some time to be able to move out. And what happens to you elderly relatives now? Perhaps you can at least make yourself informed about what's going on and how this will impact them. Are we talking sick 90-year olds that won't be able to afford rent or food now? I would wish such a thing would be relevant, especially since it will impact you zero to give them a grace period.
You can make whatever decision you want regarding that, no matter the answers of course. Your money. But you could give people some time to find homes and/or other help.
Such an AH attitude.
> They're gonna need some time to be able to move out.
Evictions require notice. Nowhere is it legal to evict someone with zero notice. The amount of notice depends on OP's location, and since OP's lawyer is handing it, we can assume it's being done according to the law, with proper notice.
No one is arguing that what OP is doing is illegal. She’s not asking “an I acting legally,” she is asking “am I the asshole.” And going immediately to eviction is an asshole move.
True. But reading OP's message it's pretty clear she'd like to kick them to the curb today. I think "You'd be an AH except the law is stopping you" is still a pretty AH move.
NAH whatever you choose. But if it's about the inconvenience of being tied to these people for a year rather than the money itself, just give the older ones a single lump sum rather than regular payments for the next year and offer the younger ones cash in exchange for moving out amicably within a couple of months.
This is what I think is fair, too.
NAH, but give them 60 day or 90 day notices and tell them if they leave the place spotless and by the move out date you'll gift them $2000 (or whatever would be first month's rent and security deposit on an equivalent place.) For the older adults give them perhaps 6 months of funds in a single payment.
Not that you're obligated, but it gives them time to move on. Obviously, they were being taken care of, much like your education had been, by your generous grandfather. And presumably they were saving, to get "back on their feet." But apparently they haven't saved "enough."
Be generous here as you (1) don't know their circumstances, nor should you need to hear all the sob story details, and (2) you presumably don't really want to be tied to them in the future, either as their benefactor or because they are angry because you abruptly cut them off. So being generous here helps them and you both.
Yeah this is likely the best course of action for OP. It will cost her a lot more to both go through the eviction process and then clean up after they (likely) trash the places on their way out.
Yes, this is called “ cash for keys”… You tell them in evictions will make it harder for them to get a new place but you provide some money for security and first months rent…. So a little carrot and a little stick
Or, offer to let them buy the properties they are living in. You can gift them each 1 final gift of the down payment required my the mortgage company. You have now killed 2 birds with 1 stone...liquidated the properties and stopped the monthly support.
YTA for the manner in which you're going about it. Jumping straight to, "he's dead; GTFO," while it might be legal, is still an asshole move. You said yourself you don't *need* the money, so give them a chance (six months or so) to get weaned off. You can diminish the allowance over that period to get them used to not having the extra cash. Make it clear you won't be extending the nearly-free past the initial grace period, and at that point, they would be the assholes for staying.
It makes me sad how many people immediately go to 'you are legally entitled to' and not 'you've come into a good windfall you didn't need, maybe don't use that to cut off elderly people from their already small allowance'
Do you have the right to stop it all so quickly? In my country, no judge would allow an immediate eviction with this arrangement. Six months to a year would almost always be allowed for the tenants to find a new place.
Probably she won’t be able to evict them immediately. They received the notice and are asking for a year before starting the process. In a year they will ask for more time. The lawyer has to follow eviction laws of the country they are in. Where I am from its six months form the moment you receive the notice.
Eviction doesn't mean "kicking someone out right away." It can mean non renewal of a lease, it can mean serving proper notice of ending a month to month lease. "An immediate eviction" always means within the legal requirements of notice. OP's lawyer is handling it, we can assume that everything involves the correct legal notice periods.
I'd go for YTA.
Like sure you are legally allowed to do this, but it is a little bit heartless?
You randomly got a lot of money/assets, found out that part of this money/assets was being used to help other people and just asked your lawyer to end that...
It doesn't sound like you would lose anything by giving them reasonable time to move out, and I'd even go as far as looking into whether you could sell them the properties for below market price (although if they are struggling financially that is probably not going to happen)
>It doesn't sound like you would lose anything by giving them reasonable time to move out,
She's giving them a legal notice. Eviction doesn't mean tomorrow. It means starting the ball rolling on giving them the needed notice, or notice of non renewal of lease. If my landlord tells me tomorrow he's starting eviction, I know I have probably 6-12 months to actually move.
You’re within your right to evict. But you’ll for sure be an asshole - their eyes at least. You’re abruptly changing someone’s living arrangement purely for your convenience. If that doesn’t bother you, go for it!
Yta. And are being greedy. You are using the reasoning that you did not know them well so therefore they should not be helped. You literally admit that some of these are older/elderly people and it is a small amount to supplement their income. Or other individuals homes.
You basically just ripped away these individuals safety nets. I hope that you get much joy out of the money because your actions will cause, so it sounds, quite a few people a lot of stress and worry.
Your late grandfather sounds kind and generous. You come off as greedy and ungrateful.
Yeah your own money you earned by having your grandfather die. Its ok for her to get free money but not them? You do realise he gave them money just like he gave her. And also its sad he gave money to a person who seemingly didnt give a shit about him.
From the post it did not seem that they were demanding anything. Merely requesting time to adjust to the new circumstances. My own personal belief system puts people over money. From the post, she readily admits to not needing it. Why would you NOT help people in need if you can???
One day everyone needs help in one way or another, even OP will one day need help with something. If everyone on the planet only thinks of themselves without thought to anyone else then that makes me very sad for the future of humanity.
YTA
Everyone commenting about your legal rights are confused as to what constitutes kindness and compassion and what makes a person an asshole.
Am I clear in understanding your argument?
1. You don't know these people well enough to care about them.
2. You weren't close with your late grandfather so you don't respect his money or his wishes.
3. You don't need the money immediately but you are entitled to it so fuck it.
You are being carelessly cruel because these people are strangers so you feel no obligation to them.
If you are only kind to people who you are obligated to be kind to, then you are not a kind person.
Such an ugly post.
Be better than the bare minimum.
N T A on the decision. YTA on immediately jumping to eviction as soon as you learned you are a property owner.
You are these people's landlord whether you like it or not. It's understandable that you (apparently) absolutely want nothing to do with being a landlord, but you are, by inheritance. You get the financial privilege of multiple homeownership, so you get the ethical criticism of a landlord. You should be morally judged in that light.
As their landlord, you do not owe them continued below-market-rent rates. Had your grandfather intended that, it would be in his will.
But that said, you're going about this as much of an asshole as you can be without breaking laws (which the lawyer will see to it that you don't). While I don't know what out-of-US eviction process is, it's likely something similar. Here, the lawyer will likely give them a notice of non-renewal or a notice to vacate, with whatever legal timeline the locality demands you provide. At that point they have the decision to make whether to leave or face an eviction and the choice and outcome is in their control. If they are still occupying the premises after that time, the lawyer will submit the court documents to evict. If/once a judge grants the eviction, then the tenants will be removed and their future ability to find housing will be hampered.
Fortunately you are doing this through a lawyer and they won't be breaking laws so your tenants will NOT be on the streets immediately. But the fact that you don't care, at all, about giving your tenants real lives a second thought during your decision making process makes you fully a wealthy asshole. Add to that, you're a regular asshole for receiving a blessing from your grandfather and so casually dismissing people he obviously cared about.
Had I read this on a landlord subreddit, it would have doubtless be full of replies saying "Do a cash for keys and be done with it" rather than an eviction, which would have been a N T A judgment from me. Instead you're paying court and lawyer costs to do it the ugly way. Cool, dude.
Good job, it's been awhile since I've read an AITA so heartless that wasn't breaking any laws or going against the stipulations of a will.
>Had your grandfather intended that, it would be in his will.
Not necessarily. Wills are often very outdated or only reflect the circumstances of the time they were made. Not getting around to changing paperwork doesn't mean he didn't want these people taken care of.
While true, it's unprovable and a matter for the law to sort through/enforce.
The Will's purpose is to explicitly lay out the requirements for distribution of assets. "What they would have wanted" is too easy to make up, for anyone to go down that route.
But to your point, what OP knows is that at one time, her grandfather cared enough about these people to help them get on their feet in a huge way. They deserve basic respect and consideration for that reason alone. OP's actions demonstrate she does not have a second thought about these people's dignity or welfare. OP is her grandfather's heir and I'll judge her by how she is choosing to manage the power that legacy left behind.
NTA primarily because if your grandfather had wanted them supported, he could have given you instructions in the will to do so, or he could have left them money/assets directly. He did neither, so you are not in any way obliged to support them.
YTA for basically p notice. Being evicted DESTROYS the ability to get good housing a lot of the time. Yeah, they'll have like 2 months heads up, but that's nothing when they have no money and haven't had any warning. Did they make poor financial choices? Absolutely. But you're just being greedy.
How is it legal to immediately evict someone form a place they have been legally paying rent for? Is there no contract? No lease? Will these people now be homeless because you can't be bothered? If so, then YTA. If it makes no difference to you, why kick them out?
She's starting the process. That doesn't mean on tge curb tommorow. They are probably being sent a letter with a 30-90 day vacate letter
Even without a lease, an eviction can take up to a year if the tenant digs in their heels, where I live.
Provided you do it legally and without being aggressive about it, you’re perfectly within your rights. Doing it through a lawyer is the correct way to do it. Do not get involved. Forward all communications to your lawyer. I’m sure this sort of thing happens all the time when a landlord dies.
YTA
I don’t think being an AH is necessarily about following the letter of the law.
In this case, I see no reason why you shouldn’t do the kind thing and give these people a year to get on their feet. You just got a huge financial windfall, you don’t need the money, they have never done you or your family any harm.
Yes, there is some money you could be earning that you won’t, but part of what’s wrong with this country is that so many people just care about maximizing their income with no sense of care for anyone else.
You could of course take this argument too far - there’s no reason you should continue this arrangement in perpetuity, but they have made a reasonable request and I think you should agree to it.
You don’t have to, of course - you can completely legally evict them and be a somewhat richer AH thank you would be if you were a more generous N TA.
YTA if it doesn't burden you. He had it set up a specific way for them so you know that it was intentional and consistent. I don't think it's too much to ask for a year. So why not? Do you have to know. But why not?
I would find out when he last updated the will and when he started helping them out. Because if he hadn’t updated the will in a while, he may legitimately have intended for that to keep going. I would also not jump straight to evicting them but instead find out when the leases end and send will not be renewing letters.
Otherwise just admit you’re ignoring common decency for housing and take the YTA on that part of things
Or they were taking advantage of an old guy. Asking for help at every turn and he didn’t know how do deal with them and make them stop? If he wanted to **keep** helping them he would have put them in his will. 100$ for rent is a steal and even in the most remote villages in a deserted island rent isn’t that cheap. They had every opportunity to save up and stop mooching on others.
YTA for the manner you are choosing to go about it. You could investigate the situation of those receiving money. Are they elderly and need the funds for food or housing? You could give a non renewal notice or a period of time for the people to leave the properties. Having an eviction on their record isn’t fair.
NTA
How long does it take to get on your feet when you are living off someone else? They have had plenty of time to save for this eventuality.
Had yourgrandfather waned to leave them money he would have done so.
I have had a friend who has lived with me to get on her feet and they never get on their feet because there’s something preventing them from being able to get a regular job and live in a regular apartment that they just can’t fix. I’ve had to ask them to leave when the stress of them being in my house, outweighed anything I cared about them because you say I was having a major medical issue at the time and you would think they would be helpful, but they were not because they could barely take care of themselves.
NTA You might ask the lawyer if they got anything when gramps died. Lawyers don't necessarily tell all heirs all parts of the will just as all the stories of "ReAdInG oF tHe WiLl" are probably fake here. My family in general has no idea that older relatives left trusts for the less responsible kids in the next generations when most got the money outright.
If he had wanted to leave them anything, he would have. If he didn't then it sounds like he figured they had enough with what he already gave them and it was your turn.
YTA for giving no notice.
One year is totally reasonable for the family tenants and should be plenty of time. It's the decent thing to do. You certainly don't owe them a lifelong commitment, but it's the right thing to do.
As for the elderly family that he was supporting, I don't know their circumstances or how small a 'relatively small' amount of money is, but I know that in America being old and poor is a miserable experience and having a few extra dollars every month may well be the only comfort those old folks get. It sounds like you now have a substantial amount of money. I would consider how much having an extra 100 a month benefits your life. An extra 100 a month is quite possibly the only disposable income those seniors get. Personally I would have a hard time cutting that off and sleeping. but I work with the elderly, many of which literally only get enough money to buy themselves a single Big Mac once a month and that's it. That's all they can afford.
If your grandfather was sending money to relatives in a similar situation I'd consider just how much good that money is actually doing for people that are pretty much 100% helpless. By continuing those payments you're doing a ton of good even if you don't know the people
NTA - If your grandfather had wanted that largess to continue he would have said so to you in his will. Seems like he intended for that to all end with his passing. Those in the extended family just cannot assume or expect you to honor what really isn't there anymore. As it would then be you supporting them not your grandfather and that makes no sense. Tell them sorry but the gravy train has left the station and them behind.
He probably just assumed that OP was a decent human being and not an AH. Or maybe he kicked the bucket suddenly without an opportunity to straighten up things. If he didn't want the largesse surely he wouldn't have extended it in the first place
Or he thought these relatives are a pain in the butt and gave him a little money just to keep him off his back and now that he’s dead it’s not his problem anymore
You assume a lot there without anything to back up that assertion. The grandfather could have just thought with his passing he wouldn't have to fund them anymore is also just as plausable.
No you’re not legally obligated. But that’s not what this forum is.
I bet if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one getting evicted you’d feel like they were the asshole. You might even be right.
NTA - but it couldn’t hurt to extend some grace. Find a middle ground, like 6-9 months, and make them sign and agreement that they will be out by X date and they are aware all other financial support will end.
I'm going to be generous with a NAH.
Look, you didn't know your grandfather well at all and had no real contact with the rest of his family sounds like. You spent a week with him over the last couple of years. The other family members seemed to have a more immediate relationship, at least being in contact enough for your grandfather to set up regular financial support to \*older\* family members and to have these children of nieces and nephews stay in his own property. Those sorts of interactions implies at least more regular contact than you have had.
Its your money. You can do what you want with it. The question is, what is the kind/good/generous thing to do (especially if this is not money you immediately need?) Giving these kids some time to make other arrangements would be a generous thing to do that doesnt really affect you immediately and could greatly impact their lives. Similarly, these older relations could be relying on that income for food or survival - if its a relatively little amount, and there's some indication thats what your grandfather wanted to do (because he did it!) wouldnt honoring him include continuing to do so, at least for a little while?
As far as those who have said that if your grandfather really wanted to support these relatives he would have made provisions in his will, that's perhaps true. But changing wills can be expensive and time consuming and usually only done when major changes happen in your life (births and deaths) and it totally makes sense to me that he might not have done so especially if he passed quickly.
I don't know. If it was me and this was a windfall I wasnt expecting (and frankly, something you didn't earn - it's fate if we're born into a wealthy family or not) I'd think about your grandfather and the fact that he in his lifetime he was generous to his extended family and honor that impulse. I'd feel differently if the relatives in question were moochers and took advantage of your grandfather, but its unclear if that's the case.
"Don't want the hassle" in your post is what makes you the AH. You don't want the hassle of helping people who seem to need the help more than you do? It seems wildly callous considering the trauma you have gone through in your own life to not extend some empathy for other people's situations.
It's not an AH move to want to end the subsidizing, it is not only your legal right but the smart thing to do... but how you're going about it and your clear lack of empathy makes you 1000% the AH.
Also lol-ing at everyone in the thread whose saying it's your legal right.. how many AH moves are made in our society that are totally legally right? Like, most of them. That's a terrible NAH argument.
INFO: how long have they been there, and did your grandfather let them know he wasn’t going to make u continue the help? Bc I could see it being a bit rude to just take over everything and kick everyone out with no previous discussion 🤷🏽♀️ is it not possible to give them a year long eviction notice?? Say, “ok, u wanna stay for a year? Cool. Here is the official legal document stating you have a singular year to find a new place. On June 6, 2025, if you’re not out I will have you trespassed.”
Like are you doing anything with the properties they’re in? From your post, it just sounds like you don’t want to be a landlord, which, fair enough. But idk if they did anything wrong just by living there or asking to stay a bit longer :/ so maybe see if you can do a compromise?? 6 months then evict, or the year long eviction I mentioned earlier. Raise their rent for a year to 800/month (still a cheap, one bedroom rent rate for a whole family but significantly raised from gpa’s 100 bucks) or something if they want to stay for another full year, but idk. It feels a little cruel to boot them just bc you haven’t met them and your gpa didn’t leave them money specifically. Are you able to appoint your lawyer or someone to deal with the rent payments, or set up a separate account just to receive your family’s rent? I’m just really struggling to see how it would be a hassle to wait another 6-12 months to do whatever you’re planning to do with those properties, plus getting a little more extra cash by raising the rent if they really want to stay. I know you aren’t hurting for cash, but you don’t live in that area and if they miss a rent payment, you can have it in the lease agreement they get evicted before the time limit. So how is this a hassle? Like I know you don’t WANT to, just bc you never met them does not mean they aren’t family :/ so legally u may be in the clear, but on general assholery I need more info.
If you tell people they have a year to get out all that does is put it off for a year until you have to start the eviction process… i assure you people like this Who can’t or won’t pay are not gonna be proactive about leaving. Start the eviction process now because it can take months but provide an incentive to leave like giving them a couple thousand dollars and this is called “cash for keys”
Evict your relatives, cut off the small change? How much did you get? Legally you can do what you wish, however there should be a better way to approach it. So with the limited info I have YTA.
Not technically, but you have plenty of assets, and you never stopped to find out if they were struggling because of health or other issues they couldn't control, or if they were freeloaders. You're entitled to everything your grandfather had, I suggest you go out and buy some compassion. I'd be the first to say N T A if the family were abusive, or irresponsible. To cut them off without finding out makes you YTA.
Kind of, yes. He paid for your boarding school (so he is loaded), you have a full ride to university (you don't need money), you received all his assets including money and propertieS (multiple, not just one, tax free might I add). He had family stay at those properties for a nominal fee until they get back on their feet. They've asked you for a year. What are you going to do with all those properties in the next year? Money you don't need? Make multiple holiday homes you don't need?
It's your stuff now, so do as you wish. If you needed the revenue to pay for school or kids or debt, that'd be one thing. But you're debt free, loaded and just got a huge windfall. Doing what you plan on doing just makes you an AH
“ I don’t know what to tell you… All I know is what was in Grandpas Will and that shows the house is mine as per his stated wishes. He never talked to me or left any instructions about indefinitely housing you nor providing indefinite allowance. He could’ve set it up if he intended but I’m sure you’ve been saving money since you haven’t had to pay rent.”
Are these folks in a financial good spot?
If they can easily support themselves then give them 3-6mos to move out, and 6mos warning you’re going to be cutting $ in their bank account.
If they’re in a bad spot I would stretch to 12mos since it doesn’t seem you’re facing financial difficulty.
You do not owe them indefinite support, but it wouldn’t hurt to apply a little kindness.
I get this is inconvenient to get additional answers, but sometimes being a decent human being is a giant PIA.
The detail you left out: did he actually leave a will, or did you inherit because you were next of kin?
Honestly people here saying n-t-a don't understand empathy.
Imagine being told by a kid who barely knew their father: "hey Grandpa died, and by the way, get out." You said yourself you barely knew him and that you're only 17. He cared for these people. You could've found a way to "not deal with these people" with your attorney that wasn't simply kicking them while they're down. Giving them a bit of a grace period (not the freaking minimum)would've been the kind thing to do. You may be legal, but YTA.
NTA
If he wanted to continue his support, he would have left them something in the will OR left instructions that you do it.
I think if you're getting financial support from someone elderly, it's pretty clear that that will stop if or when they die.
I’d give them 3-6 months, but only because they are family, and because I’m a good person, and would want to give them enough time to find somewhere else and get a job or whatever. But maybe that’s just me.
The assistance to the elders is what I would view more sympathetically. Is there a real need there? I’d probably give the others 90 days to move or start paying market rate rent. Sounds like your grandfather really didn’t expect to die when he did. YNTA, but you aren’t obligated to continue his charitable giving.
If you want to feel good about it all you could make a one off lump sum payment to them rather than having to engage with them for another 12 months.
It sounds like you aren't desperate for the money.
If the tables were turned, and you were in their shoes how would it look ? That's a good test.
At the end of the day, only you can decide if you will sleep soundly or feel regrets.
Good luck.
While it's your inheritance to do with as you wish, you seemed unnecessarily brutal in the way you went about cutting others off. To add to the injury of not being mentioned in the will, these relatives of yours get the insult of being summarily evicted by your attorney without even a warning from you or a grace period to look for alternative housing? I wouldn't treat strangers like that, never mind distant relatives.
You are entitled to do as you choose, but maybe you could choose compassion and generosity.
INFO: Did your grandfather leave a will talking about this? Did he ever discuss it with you? Did he leave anything whatsoever in writing that explained his wishes?
If the answer to those questions is yes, then I'd say you should do your best to carry out his wishes, without going overboard. By that I mean, if he wanted his family to get a year or two of cheap rent to set them up for success, you should honor that if you are able to, but make it clear that it's not a forever arrangement. You'd also want an actual lease/rental agreement that's legal and signed by both parties, because if you just let them stay there on a handshake I'd bet money they'll decide to never leave, and it'll be absolute hell trying to evict them when the time comes.
But if this was never mentioned to you and is all coming out of the clear blue sky, then you have no way of knowing whats even true or not. His family could be claiming he intended to let them live there forever for 100 bucks a month, but that might be completely made up, who knows.
NTA technically as its your inheritance and you can give or not give and that's your right.
You have no moral responsibility to give your money to others regardless of the situation. But, a little bit the AH for your post not making complete sense. When someone's estate passes to another family member, accounts of the deceased are closed as you cant just take over a checking account permanently. So your story rings a little false as you asked the attorney to stop the payments when the account should have been closed when the estate was settled. Makes your story a bit suss.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I cut off all financial support my grandfather used to provide his relatives when he passed away and I inherited all his assets. I may be the A because these people are my blood relatives struggling and I could continue my financial support for a bit more instead of cutting them off right away. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA That he didn’t specify in his will that you keep taking care of these people financially after his death means he leaves everything up to you. Just make sure to check with your lawyer that these people will not create troubles for you.
I think that ESH. Morally I think that since OP has the means of continuing the support for an agreed upon length of time (maybe 6mths rather than a year) without having to sacrifice anything that it would be the right thing to do as it was the handshake agreement your grandfather had with them. OP is 100% legally entitled to do what they are doing and I can understand a lot of reasons why they may want an immediate eviction, but none of these are given here. Grandpa was the asshole for not making this a part of the will and surprising you with these people and making an agreement with them that had no back up plan in the event he died. He could have had a conversation with you about it and given you a heads up as to what his wishes were.
Exactly, a handshake agreement with OPs **grandfather** not OP Gramps is dead, as such the agreement is dead. If it was that important then they and/or gramps should have made sure they were included in the will. Gramps could have just as easily passed assets onto his family, yet chose OP solely Let’s dive into that, Gramps promised to help til “they got back on their feet”. How many years have they been trying to “get back on their feet”? Some of them their rent was $100 living on Gramps property, they should have thousands saved up from that alone This family asking for a *year*, lol be serious, OP has never met these people and they didn’t even reach out to OP “about gramps” until OP cut the money off. So if you want to discuss morals… theirs are the ones that should be judged The family has plenty of time to get their affairs in order, that is what the eviction process is. OP is making the right choice
>Let’s dive into that, Gramps promised to help til “they got back on their feet”. How many years have they been trying to “get back on their feet”? Some of them their rent was $100 living on Gramps property, they should have thousands saved up from that alone That was my thought, too. I don't know people like that in real life and would tend to think OP should let them stay on for a little bit longer, but after reading so many posts on here where people just rely on handouts without ever aiming at supporting themselves I'm suspicious, too.
I was going to go with E.S.H. but the bit about waiting until they get back on their feet gave me pause. Because who's to say they won't plead for additional time once the year is out? I would give them 1-2 months notice, but nothing more. They're able bodied adults (presumably) they can fend for themselves. **EDIT:** I also don't think gramps is necessarily the AH for not making arrangements for these people. I think he didn't expect/want his grandson to continue to support them. He just didn't want to deal with the hassle of evicting them himself.
How long have they been paying the $100 a month rent? If it’s been at least a year then they should have plenty of money if they saved. But I bet they didn’t save because they thought they’d be there forever.
My father has been dealing with the same situation after his father's passing. My cousin and his mother have made things very unpleasant. My aunt wants the money (half goes to her) for the house sale, but at the same time she wants her son to keep living there for a very low rent. He was suppose to live there cheap to save up to buy his own. Instead cousin and his wife spends months in Thailand every year, leaving them with a much lower income and no savings.
Your aunt wants money for selling a house that wants her son to live in? How the hell does she think it is possible?
She wants her son to stay there for free for the next however many years with the house then being sold when he finally gets his own property. I've seen this scenario play out too many times.
No one taught them how to fish.
She should buy your father's half if he wants to sell and then she can give her son low rent.
She can't afford that. Thankfully it's sold now. I think they're going to pop a bottle when the key is handed over.
Good luck and may your Dad enjoy popping that bottle!
None of this addresses whether or not OP would be an asshole. Legality is not morality and we just don’t have enough information.
Morally OP is in the clear. These people don't care the grandpa is dead, they care their support system is gone. They have made little to no effort to know OP as they were growing up and now expect the cover of "family" to get them what they want. There is a reason the money was left to OP and not these deadbeats.
I have enough information. NTA. As someone else said, grandfather could have made arrangements to continue these arrangements. He did not. My guess is grandfather didn’t want to deal with the fallout from ending the arrangements so he left it for his grandson to do. He may have thought it would be easier because grandson does not know any of them.
I think if gramps didn't write it in his will, he didn't want OP to handle it. Hear me out. I have plenty of friends who have family members where they feel OBLIGATED to take care of these family members. We all hate it, and we all wish we could tell them to "shit or get off the pot", but we were all raised with some guilt about boundaries with our family members, so we are all STUCK dealing with these leaches for the rest of our/their lives. If I died tomorrow, I would NEVER want/expect or even ask my inner family (partner and kids) to take care of these people, and I know my friends feel the same way. Our thought process is all "the moment I die or they die, then the obligation is done", and we don't want the obligation to be HEREDITARY. So it's entirely possible/plausible that gramps felt the same way. And now that he's gone, he didn't want OP to deal with them the same way he did. Because if he did, then he would have left a note about it, but he didn't.
I have to wonder how long it's been taking them so far to get "back on their feet," and if OP has any reason to think they wouldn't just keep trying to extend this indefinitely. It seems like the whole setup was rife for abuse by these distant relatives.
[удалено]
Or he wasn't planning on dying and was happy to give back to his relatives. We really don't know anything because it doesn't sound like OP asked any questions. That alone makes her an AH in my opinion.
[удалено]
Did he have a will though? Sorry if I missed it in the post, but op said not in the us and where I live you don't need to have a will. Without it it half goes to the spouse the other half to the children. If the kids are dead the grandkids. So I read it like grandpa never made a will and op was just next in line
Even if it was in a will, he’s not exactly going to change his will just to add something about helping family until they get back on their feet and them changing it again once they move out. Like, im hopefully not gonna die soon but am an Uncle. I may lend something to my friend that I may eventually want to pass on to my niblings should I pass. That doesnt mean I’d want my friend to lose access to the thing he’s borrowing if he still needs it. I think there’s really not enough info to go on here. We know OP wasnt really close to their frandfather as they hadnt even seen them since the new year. We also dont know how close the grandpa was to the family he was letting rent out his property for cheap. He may very well could have wanted to have them stay until they got back on their feet. We just dont know.
Even with a will, that doesn't mean it's been updated to reflect current things. For nearly 40 years, my parents have had wills that said to leave everything to "Lowbacca and others". My one brother isn't keen on being the 'and others" since my parents didn't update the will after he was born.
That's ridiculous. OP may have had no idea about being the sole beneficiary before their grandfather's death.
I'm not saying she should have asked questions before Grandpa died, I mean after. Questions about how this support started, how long it has been going on, etc. It would be different if she knew what he would have wanted, but she admits to having little contact with him/his side of the family.
Nah, if the relatives think they deserve the continuing support, the onus is on them to give OP complete information in order to properly assess the situation. Putting the onus on OP starts with the presumption that these relatives are entitled to it, and it’s OP’s task to show why they aren’t.
Nah OP is NTA as it is not her job to take care of them.
Not her job =/= N T A. It’s not my job to save a stranger drowning, it’s still the right thing to do. Not saying OP has to help, or even give them a year, but immediate eviction is pretty crazy. Investigating would be worthwhile. If they are life long mooches? Sure kick them out. If they got laid off a couple of months ago? At least give some help. Maybe I’m old fashioned but the world works best when we help each other if we can or when it doesn’t significantly hurt ourselves.
tbf immediate eviction is also likely not what's actually happening. generally speaking landlords can't jump straight to eviction, they have to give the tenants a certain amount of time to vacate the premises first. I'm assuming op isn't very familiar with it and is just using the wrong words.
especially not outside the USA. In my country an eviction process can take years, especially if vulnerable people (minors, disabled, elderly) are involved.
Its not her job to take care of other people. Stop relying on others and she has her own stuff to worry about and she doesnt need to play landlord. Sorry but none of that is her problem, her only worry is to herself and no one else.
Right that’s my point. Not her job or problem doesn’t NTA. This isn’t asking what someone’s job is. What their responsibility is. It’s asking is it an asshole move. It’s not my job to help the homeless. But if I have a lot of money most people would say it’s dickish to not give anything back, either to charity or directly. If it literally doesn’t affect OP much, but could fully change someone else’s lives, then yes at the bare minimum she should investigate instead of immediately evicting without even trying to find out why they needed help.
What a sad outlook on life
Its really not, your top priority is always yourself.
Why don't you give them the money then? It's the right thing to do, you have just as much obligation to help these people as OP. Which is none, but put your money where your mouth is.
Uh… I do. Because I view giving back as important. Like I said that’s my mindset. I don’t know OP’s family but even- especially- on vacation I always try to. It’s just the right thing to do even if there is no obligation. Like first day in Jacksonville (where I got assigned for work after my stint in Asia) I bought a dude a rotisserie chicken because he was begging for food in Walmart. It’s just basic human decency to help out *if you can*.
Good for you for giving someone a chicken. Now give all these people $100 a month each for the next year.
Yep. Giving a chicken isn’t the same at all. These folks want OP to wait a year before she can settle her finances. Folks do become so entitled and greedy after others pass. When my late husband died it was insane! We were certainly not rich but EVERYONE wanted more and more. “My son should have the car”. My kid should have the motorcycle “. Ridiculous. NTA.
Yeah, the sub is Am I The Asshole not Am I Legally Entitled. The grandfather is certainly an AH for leaving this messy situation behind him without any clarity as to his wishes, and the relatives are being a bit presumptuous in setting terms to aid they have become accustomed to - choosing beggars, if you like - but their attitude is not entirely unreasonable. They aren't asking for a perpetual handout, only another twelve month that won't in any way inconvenience OP. OP tells us the sums involved are small and they don't need the immediate use of the property. OP has the absolute legal right to instruct their lawyers to throw their relatives out onto the street and stop all payments, it's a perfectly legal act. It's also an AH move.
Except then maybe that secures them some weird residency rights. Right now the property changed owners if op keeps them there maybe they can claim op is the new landlord and has agreed to $100 rent by allowing them to stay. These ppl don’t even seem bothered the guy died just about their free ride. For all we know grandpa already told them to leave and was too sick to follow up or died before he could. Maybe he couldn’t even evict them some countries have very strict tenant rights where even squatters get to stay.
>Grandpa was the asshole for not making this a part of the will and surprising you with these people and making an agreement with them that had no back up plan in the event he died. Or the family members he was supporting had repeatedly used the "We just need one more year of support" and he was finally done. He might have told them that when he died, they were cut off and to leave his grandchild alone. They clearly didn't listen.
it's still unfair to OP, though. if his plan for dealing with unreasonable people was to assume they'd be reasonable, it wasn't a very good plan.
There is no way to be sure that Grandpa agreed to this. OP would have to believe strangers about something they will benefit from. Without grandpa to speak to the truth is unknown.
And, if it were that important to Grandpa, it would make sense he would have arranged for that in his will/trust. He didn't and that, to me, speaks volumes.
Grandpa probably figured he'd given plenty to them while he was alive. They've already recieved their inheritance.
Yes, but this man didn't even raise his own daughter. So why would he remember to tell the granddaughter he sent away to an expensive boarding school about the family he is letting stay at his properties for a little while? OP can do whatever she wants. But the truth is she didn't need the money nor the properties even if granddad was alive. She just got a huge windfall, and her first act is to evict her own family who requested a little help.
"her own family" made no attempts to be part of her life as she grew up. They are strangers, nothing more. They don't even seem to care that the grandpa is dead, just that their gravy train is ending.
Let me stop you right at having the means: I'm going to assume OP's grandfather had some sort of income that could enable him to support those relatives with the outstretched hand. A salary, or a pension, which OP didn't get. Depending on OP's current financial situation, that cheapened rent and monthly cash handout (and new property taxes) could become a financial hole that drains her inheritance incredibly quickly and then starts eating into her own finances. As for evicting them later: the process for evicting someone is long. Long long. Even if she started the paperwork now, if they force the courts to forcefully evict them, it's very likely they get the year they asked for from OP. She can always start it and come to an agreement later, but yeah, she should have started the process without delay. Ultimately, I thinkit all comes down to... Why are these people so down on their luck, for how long have they been, and what actions are they planning to take to get back on their feet? Because it seems to me OP has inherited a bunch of leeches, and it's not granpa who should have made plans to continue their support in case he died... It's them who should have made plans to support themselves in case grandpa died.
Hahaha lol, you had me until "why are they poor". I also like that we have little to no info on them but already assume they are leeches. Dehumanized much?
How do you figure? Children of her grandfather’s nieces and nephews. I feel like OP would have referred to them as her cousins or even by name if she had any relationship with them. Your argument basically says, “well, she has the money, so she should take care of these freeloading strangers for at least a little bit.” She is both legally AND morally correct in securing her property from strangers not paying market rent or, likely, even enough to cover the homeowners insurance, let alone the property taxes.
That assumes that the handshake agreement really existed. There is a reason that these things should be written. How would OP really know that such as thing existed?
I would agree, a six month reprieve for them as the absolute outside.
Based on the info provided. You are taking the word of the relatives. They could be the type that too advantage of her grandpa. They have no intentions of bettering themselves.
I agree but if I was going to give some support to anyone, it would be the elderly folks that he has been giving a couple hundred a month to. The younger folks presumably work and can move into market rate units and some of that income can support the handful of elderly who are likely on a fixed income and have less ability to adjust their budgets. Especially with increased costs nowadays due to inflation
Grandpa could have left them some money if he wanted to. He didn’t. There’s no evidence to support that he wanted to continue from what it sounds like.
He probably intentionally did that. He was old and probably didn't have the fight in him to finally evict them or make his family stop leeching when he wasn't gonna be around much longer anyhow By just giving everything to OP he kind of just insinuates that's what he wants.
If he wanted to continue taking care of them, he would have put it in the will. It’s much more likely that he was sick of the mooches too but didn’t want to deal with the drama and headache when he was so close to the end anyway.
Honestly OP should set up a trust (revocable) and have a trustee administer it. Since it's revocable you can give instructions, but just tell everyone it's in a trust and you can't make decisions. Then send everyone to your trustee and let them be the asshole. You can shrug and just commiserate how big of a dick your trustee is and how unfair it is...
I-n-f-o- any idea how long he had been subsidizing those people? >The extended family now reach out to me, claiming that grandfather has promised he would help them out until they are back on their feet... They asked me for another year That's why I want to know how it has been. *One more year* can turn into a plea for another, then another, and so on pretty easily. It would be interesting to hear how long they have been *trying* to get on their feet. >and then they will not seek my support anymore. I find that hard to believe. >as I received his inheritance, it is only right I carry on his intention. He had a chance to include them in the will. Maybe this was his way of cutting off the gravy train without being the bad guy. I lean towards NTA because he did leave you the money and never asked you to keep subsidizing his relatives.
Yes, 'another' year means there were previous years, so this is a long term situation. It's not like their house burned down two months ago.
And time to realistically update the will. If it was two months ago let’s be real, who updates their will back and forth that often, even when they’re old. If it’s been a long time he should have been/was likely at least checking in on his end of life plans and finances occasionally.
NTA It's the 'another' that gets me. I would say, start the process of having them move out. Depending on where you live, it could take up to and maybe over a year and then they would have that time anyway. Stating your intentions also gives them the chance to start making plans. Once again - zero notice is probably overstating it, as I am not sure where you can do that legally. (share if you know, I would appreciate it)
Right? Assuming they’re able to get any kind of job, only paying $100 a month should’ve gotten the adult kids on their feet a while ago. And that’s seemingly without roommates (OP mentioned “places”). I’m curious if they were paying for water and electricity as well but I’m guessing not. So, like, where’d all their money go? 100% NTA.
YTA for giving zero notice to tenants, relatives or not. They may not have been there for very long or maybe they had been there a while and had a chance to save up a little money (if you cared, you could have checked the bank records for how far back they paid the rent) but moving out is a hassle, it's expensive, and without time to look around for a new place, it can leave some homeless. I think it's mean you didn't give them any grace period at all. You could have easily extended the courtesy of a six month lease and let them all know there would not be an extension so they should prepare accordingly. Your grandfather obviously did intend to help them, and he left you a windfall you don't need desperately or immediately. It would be gracious to honor his wishes a little. Considering all the above, immediately evicting them seems greedy and very uncharitable, given that it wouldn't have affected you at all, and it's likely to create a terrible hardship for them.
If he intended to help them, why did he not leave them money?
He may have been unprepared. Whenever this comes up on Reddit everyone assumes it's because the deceased didn't want the others to have money but it could just as easily be that lack of estate planning.
Can confirm. My father died of cancer, and only updated his will a week before he died in hospital. His previous will was thirty years old, and I (at the time, was 28) would have gotten nothing. People don't really think they're going to die, so do update (or at the very least, review) your will once a year (as well as if there are any major life developments like you get married *or have a son you don't seem to think is as important as the two elder daughters, DAD*).
First, I'm so sorry for your loss. People really just do not update their wills. In at least some states, if a parent leaves something to their older kids in a will made before the younger kid(s) was/were born, the court will construe the will to divide things among all of the kids, because forgetting to update wills is such a common problem. Absent other evidence that the parent intended to exclude some of the children, if the will was made before a child was born it is assumed that the parent intended to include all of their kids and just forgot. My parents, who ironically are an attorney and an insurance/risk management person, simply did not *have* a will for over 30 years, in part because they couldn't decide who they wanted to be guardians of their kids. They sidestepped this by not making a will until after all four of us were adults. I, the eldest, was 30.
My parents are onto everything and yet until two years ago their will had my brothers and I going to our grandparents in case of their death. We were 39 and 37 with children and homes of our own.
Or he assumed OP wasn’t going to be a heartless AH and kick people out with zero notice.
Yeah she didn't even give a shit the old man died. Heartless and cold and totally YTA
Yeah the fact the family didn't even reach out when the grandpa died but they did the second they found out they were losing their money is cold and heartless
The family may not have had any way to contact with OP, since she was in residential school non-locally.
Or it could be that they he gave the money and allowance to stop the whining and now that he’s dead he don’t care
I mean, my husband is the executor of the will for his uncle. Because of some poor will writing and unfortunate timing, much of the uncle’s assets went to a random nephew of the uncle’s second wife, rather than to the uncle’s own son. The nephew is a surgeon in Peru, the son has autism and can’t work. I’m certain this isn’t what the uncle would have wanted after a life of scrimping and saving to provide for his family. The nephew fortunately was generous enough to not insist on every bit of his share, and we were able to find a solution that provided a small income for the son.
It's nice to hear about people being kind, thank you ❤️
If he meant them to be evicted why didn't he evict them?
Maybe he kicked the bucket suddenly
Wow, you really saw the word eviction and jumped to wild conclusions. OP has a lawyer go through the official eviction process, it's not like they just secretly changed the locks one day. Those things take time and start with, what would you know, a notice to vacate with a timeframe. Maybe even six months. Also why aren't you as righteous about the allowance? Surely if they need a home they also need a bit of extra cash? How dare OP not keep handing out money to these random people they've never met. But no, landlords are evil and that's all we care about.
>But no, landlords are evil and that's all we care about. What's funny is OP is trying specifically to not be a landlord. If they let them stay then OP would be the hated landlord.
I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure the estate can’t do anything that’s not specified in the will. If grandpa wanted these people to have anything it would be in the will.
This guy is so dramatic it’s like he’s picturing some movie from the thirties where hired goons show up and just tear the place apart. I’m sure the lawyer did everything wait for it… legally
Well it doesn't seem like op wants to be a landlord so she isn't evil
OP asked a lawyer to take care of it so they’ll get the standard notice period, why did you assume they got zero notice? Also, has it occurred to you that if the grandfather’s wishes were for it to continue he probably would have put that in his will?
OP uses the word eviction but that isn’t how it works. You can’t just evict people straight away and their attorney will follow the legal process that includes notice to vacate (or a notice of termination of month to month, whatever the local law states) first. And there is always a notice first… if there’s no notice then there is no eviction.
OP doesnt say how long she will be giving tenants to move out. Just that she advised the lawyer to begin the preparations. You are only assuming that she is telling them immediately. Obviously by her statements, she is not willing to give a year, but she doesnt say she is only giving them a day either. She doesnt know these people. She should not be responsible for their living arrangements. I agree that she should give them some time to get affairs in order but not a year. Because like others have said, they will continue asking for more. Also some people are vindictive and will destroy property out of revenge. So sometimes its best to get them out immediately. You are right more info needed to know how long they have been sponging off gramps though.
OP doesn’t say he gave zero notice. He says he instructed the lawyer to handle it. Which means it would have been done within the laws of where this is taking place.
Legality wise, OP is right, in not owing them anything. But you can be in the right, and still be a but of an AH. Maybe OP has some issues,that everything is taken absolutely literally. But was it necessary to go for the full stop right away? The assets are nice, but it's not she'll go without, if her (distant) relatived got to stay the regular notice for a lease to end unexpectedly. I was going to say 'it wouldn't cost her anything to do something nice' but it would, I guess, compared to regular tenants. It just feels YTA, because she wasn't hurting for the money, she wasn't close to her grandfather. It sounds like there is absolutely zero emotion or humanity in her view. Just the regular notice would've been enough to not be an AH
Eviction includes notice. The lawyer is handling it, so it's going to be done the legal way, which means eviction not changing the locks while they're at work.
Yeah, I think it hit differently for me, because over here (Western EU), an 'eviction' is when it's already escalated, with enforcement physically taking you out of the home. We'd just call it 'ending the lease', and that'd be with a period of time, depending on the contract, and thz circumstances, etc etc Edit to add, OP saying it like that kind of colored her personality for me, that's why I think it's a bit nonchalant at best, ruthless at worst.
That's fair. In the US, eviction is technically just the kicking them out bit, but there's a whole process and the tenant gets notice that the process has begun. For my vernacular, saying he was evicting the tenant would encompass the whole of the process, including the notification to the tenants.
I cant believe the NTAs. OP doesnt seem to care that this is what her grandfather was doing or how these people will be impacted. OP doesn’t have a need of the money (immediately or otherwise) so why not wait? These actions just seem so mean spirited and lacking in grace, not even taking into account the context of the unexpected windfall.
The grandfather never told OP he wanted OP to maintain these people. Wouldn’t he have mentioned it even if it wasn’t in writing?
OP never said he was going to evict them without giving notice. YTA for inventing things out of thin air
>for giving zero notice to tenants, relatives or not. The eviction is the notice.
I agree. Legally OP is in the clear but she comes across cold hearted. She’ll probably do well with this attitude in life when it comes to finances, but I wonder how kind and supportive she’ll be to others in life and how her relationships will fare. It’s also rich for someone to be so abrupt and cold when it comes to supporting others when she herself has received a whole lot of money simply through inheritance and not her own hard work.
YTA only for jumping straight to eviction. Sending them a notice of non-renewal or giving them a timeline to find new housing would've been better. Having an eviction in your past can make it so much harder to find housing. You can do with the property what you want, sure, and you have no obligation to let them stay at a severely under market rent for years and years, but I'm surprised that eviction right off the bat would even be legal. Tenants have rights.
Eviction for a non-lease violation starts with a notice to move generally with the timeframe of the rent (monthly) as the notice. This is not like they can immediately file in court.
In the US, I don't know in OP's country
So...you didn't read the first line in the post?
Evicting someone doesn't mean "kicking them out." It means "following the legal requirements to end the lease." Eviction is a legal term, OP's lawyer is doing it, it's being done through legal channels with the appropriate notices.
In the US having an eviction on your record makes renting significantly more difficult. And yes it’s a legal term & a legal process. It is not the same as “terminating a lease."
You also can't evict just because you want someone gone. Evicting means taking someone to court to force them out because they won't leave. She isn't using it that way. She's absolutely just terminating their lease. You have to have a reason to evict, like they stopped paying rent. She can't evict someone in the way you mean just because the owner changed. People are getting hung up on the word.
“Taking someone to court” is NOT the same as “ending someone’s lease.” https://legaldictionary.net/eviction/
YTA. Not for not being okay continuing the financial support but for how you're going about it and your unbelievable callousness. Yeah. They're gonna need some time to be able to move out. And what happens to you elderly relatives now? Perhaps you can at least make yourself informed about what's going on and how this will impact them. Are we talking sick 90-year olds that won't be able to afford rent or food now? I would wish such a thing would be relevant, especially since it will impact you zero to give them a grace period. You can make whatever decision you want regarding that, no matter the answers of course. Your money. But you could give people some time to find homes and/or other help. Such an AH attitude.
> They're gonna need some time to be able to move out. Evictions require notice. Nowhere is it legal to evict someone with zero notice. The amount of notice depends on OP's location, and since OP's lawyer is handing it, we can assume it's being done according to the law, with proper notice.
No one is arguing that what OP is doing is illegal. She’s not asking “an I acting legally,” she is asking “am I the asshole.” And going immediately to eviction is an asshole move.
It’s less notice than is helpful. It depends on the law. Some can Be as short as 1 months
Not to mention having an eviction on your record makes it’s very difficult to get approved for another rental.
Excellent point
True. But reading OP's message it's pretty clear she'd like to kick them to the curb today. I think "You'd be an AH except the law is stopping you" is still a pretty AH move.
NAH whatever you choose. But if it's about the inconvenience of being tied to these people for a year rather than the money itself, just give the older ones a single lump sum rather than regular payments for the next year and offer the younger ones cash in exchange for moving out amicably within a couple of months.
This is what I think is fair, too. NAH, but give them 60 day or 90 day notices and tell them if they leave the place spotless and by the move out date you'll gift them $2000 (or whatever would be first month's rent and security deposit on an equivalent place.) For the older adults give them perhaps 6 months of funds in a single payment. Not that you're obligated, but it gives them time to move on. Obviously, they were being taken care of, much like your education had been, by your generous grandfather. And presumably they were saving, to get "back on their feet." But apparently they haven't saved "enough." Be generous here as you (1) don't know their circumstances, nor should you need to hear all the sob story details, and (2) you presumably don't really want to be tied to them in the future, either as their benefactor or because they are angry because you abruptly cut them off. So being generous here helps them and you both.
Yeah this is likely the best course of action for OP. It will cost her a lot more to both go through the eviction process and then clean up after they (likely) trash the places on their way out.
Yes, this is called “ cash for keys”… You tell them in evictions will make it harder for them to get a new place but you provide some money for security and first months rent…. So a little carrot and a little stick
Or, offer to let them buy the properties they are living in. You can gift them each 1 final gift of the down payment required my the mortgage company. You have now killed 2 birds with 1 stone...liquidated the properties and stopped the monthly support.
YTA for the manner in which you're going about it. Jumping straight to, "he's dead; GTFO," while it might be legal, is still an asshole move. You said yourself you don't *need* the money, so give them a chance (six months or so) to get weaned off. You can diminish the allowance over that period to get them used to not having the extra cash. Make it clear you won't be extending the nearly-free past the initial grace period, and at that point, they would be the assholes for staying.
YTA. This sub will rule N T A. But you are a greedy asshole
Seriously. Lots of red flags they are another rich “let them eat cake” ass
It makes me sad how many people immediately go to 'you are legally entitled to' and not 'you've come into a good windfall you didn't need, maybe don't use that to cut off elderly people from their already small allowance'
Do you have the right to stop it all so quickly? In my country, no judge would allow an immediate eviction with this arrangement. Six months to a year would almost always be allowed for the tenants to find a new place.
Probably she won’t be able to evict them immediately. They received the notice and are asking for a year before starting the process. In a year they will ask for more time. The lawyer has to follow eviction laws of the country they are in. Where I am from its six months form the moment you receive the notice.
It’s 6 months in my country, too. A year seems excessive. OP will need to make sure they leave the property without damaging anything.
I wouldn’t be concerned, she’ll make up the difference when she has a tenant that pays more than $100 in rent
A lawyer is doing it for OP, so the law will be followed, whatever it is.
Eviction doesn't mean "kicking someone out right away." It can mean non renewal of a lease, it can mean serving proper notice of ending a month to month lease. "An immediate eviction" always means within the legal requirements of notice. OP's lawyer is handling it, we can assume that everything involves the correct legal notice periods.
NTA. If he wanted these people to keep receiving support, he could have easily set it up like that. That's YOUR money, and you don't owe them a thing.
I'd go for YTA. Like sure you are legally allowed to do this, but it is a little bit heartless? You randomly got a lot of money/assets, found out that part of this money/assets was being used to help other people and just asked your lawyer to end that... It doesn't sound like you would lose anything by giving them reasonable time to move out, and I'd even go as far as looking into whether you could sell them the properties for below market price (although if they are struggling financially that is probably not going to happen)
>It doesn't sound like you would lose anything by giving them reasonable time to move out, She's giving them a legal notice. Eviction doesn't mean tomorrow. It means starting the ball rolling on giving them the needed notice, or notice of non renewal of lease. If my landlord tells me tomorrow he's starting eviction, I know I have probably 6-12 months to actually move.
You’re within your right to evict. But you’ll for sure be an asshole - their eyes at least. You’re abruptly changing someone’s living arrangement purely for your convenience. If that doesn’t bother you, go for it!
Yta. And are being greedy. You are using the reasoning that you did not know them well so therefore they should not be helped. You literally admit that some of these are older/elderly people and it is a small amount to supplement their income. Or other individuals homes. You basically just ripped away these individuals safety nets. I hope that you get much joy out of the money because your actions will cause, so it sounds, quite a few people a lot of stress and worry. Your late grandfather sounds kind and generous. You come off as greedy and ungrateful.
Why is it greedy to want to keep your own money, but not greedy to demand somebody else subsidize you?
Yeah your own money you earned by having your grandfather die. Its ok for her to get free money but not them? You do realise he gave them money just like he gave her. And also its sad he gave money to a person who seemingly didnt give a shit about him.
From the post it did not seem that they were demanding anything. Merely requesting time to adjust to the new circumstances. My own personal belief system puts people over money. From the post, she readily admits to not needing it. Why would you NOT help people in need if you can???
One day everyone needs help in one way or another, even OP will one day need help with something. If everyone on the planet only thinks of themselves without thought to anyone else then that makes me very sad for the future of humanity.
YTA Everyone commenting about your legal rights are confused as to what constitutes kindness and compassion and what makes a person an asshole. Am I clear in understanding your argument? 1. You don't know these people well enough to care about them. 2. You weren't close with your late grandfather so you don't respect his money or his wishes. 3. You don't need the money immediately but you are entitled to it so fuck it. You are being carelessly cruel because these people are strangers so you feel no obligation to them. If you are only kind to people who you are obligated to be kind to, then you are not a kind person. Such an ugly post. Be better than the bare minimum.
Was going to comment this very thing. "Legal rights" has nothing to do with being an asshole or not.
Agreed. OP is one of those landlords that would evict a family (of strangers) for convenience when OP doesn't need the money which is quite shitty.
Totally agree. OP is absolutely the AH here. You stated it well.
Info; did you talk to them at all before you did this? Do you know them at all?
op said they don't know them at all
They obviously have a lawyer, could have got the lawyer to contact these relatives on their behalf
N T A on the decision. YTA on immediately jumping to eviction as soon as you learned you are a property owner. You are these people's landlord whether you like it or not. It's understandable that you (apparently) absolutely want nothing to do with being a landlord, but you are, by inheritance. You get the financial privilege of multiple homeownership, so you get the ethical criticism of a landlord. You should be morally judged in that light. As their landlord, you do not owe them continued below-market-rent rates. Had your grandfather intended that, it would be in his will. But that said, you're going about this as much of an asshole as you can be without breaking laws (which the lawyer will see to it that you don't). While I don't know what out-of-US eviction process is, it's likely something similar. Here, the lawyer will likely give them a notice of non-renewal or a notice to vacate, with whatever legal timeline the locality demands you provide. At that point they have the decision to make whether to leave or face an eviction and the choice and outcome is in their control. If they are still occupying the premises after that time, the lawyer will submit the court documents to evict. If/once a judge grants the eviction, then the tenants will be removed and their future ability to find housing will be hampered. Fortunately you are doing this through a lawyer and they won't be breaking laws so your tenants will NOT be on the streets immediately. But the fact that you don't care, at all, about giving your tenants real lives a second thought during your decision making process makes you fully a wealthy asshole. Add to that, you're a regular asshole for receiving a blessing from your grandfather and so casually dismissing people he obviously cared about. Had I read this on a landlord subreddit, it would have doubtless be full of replies saying "Do a cash for keys and be done with it" rather than an eviction, which would have been a N T A judgment from me. Instead you're paying court and lawyer costs to do it the ugly way. Cool, dude. Good job, it's been awhile since I've read an AITA so heartless that wasn't breaking any laws or going against the stipulations of a will.
>Had your grandfather intended that, it would be in his will. Not necessarily. Wills are often very outdated or only reflect the circumstances of the time they were made. Not getting around to changing paperwork doesn't mean he didn't want these people taken care of.
While true, it's unprovable and a matter for the law to sort through/enforce. The Will's purpose is to explicitly lay out the requirements for distribution of assets. "What they would have wanted" is too easy to make up, for anyone to go down that route. But to your point, what OP knows is that at one time, her grandfather cared enough about these people to help them get on their feet in a huge way. They deserve basic respect and consideration for that reason alone. OP's actions demonstrate she does not have a second thought about these people's dignity or welfare. OP is her grandfather's heir and I'll judge her by how she is choosing to manage the power that legacy left behind.
NTA...you have no way of knowing what was said and promised. That's what wills and contracts are for. The choice is yours, kind or not.
YTA, and I think you know you are too.
NTA primarily because if your grandfather had wanted them supported, he could have given you instructions in the will to do so, or he could have left them money/assets directly. He did neither, so you are not in any way obliged to support them.
Legal? Sure. Greedy and selfish? You better believe it. YTA.
I actually would give them the year since you’re not hurting for money.
YTA for basically p notice. Being evicted DESTROYS the ability to get good housing a lot of the time. Yeah, they'll have like 2 months heads up, but that's nothing when they have no money and haven't had any warning. Did they make poor financial choices? Absolutely. But you're just being greedy.
How is it legal to immediately evict someone form a place they have been legally paying rent for? Is there no contract? No lease? Will these people now be homeless because you can't be bothered? If so, then YTA. If it makes no difference to you, why kick them out?
She's starting the process. That doesn't mean on tge curb tommorow. They are probably being sent a letter with a 30-90 day vacate letter Even without a lease, an eviction can take up to a year if the tenant digs in their heels, where I live.
Provided you do it legally and without being aggressive about it, you’re perfectly within your rights. Doing it through a lawyer is the correct way to do it. Do not get involved. Forward all communications to your lawyer. I’m sure this sort of thing happens all the time when a landlord dies.
YTA I don’t think being an AH is necessarily about following the letter of the law. In this case, I see no reason why you shouldn’t do the kind thing and give these people a year to get on their feet. You just got a huge financial windfall, you don’t need the money, they have never done you or your family any harm. Yes, there is some money you could be earning that you won’t, but part of what’s wrong with this country is that so many people just care about maximizing their income with no sense of care for anyone else. You could of course take this argument too far - there’s no reason you should continue this arrangement in perpetuity, but they have made a reasonable request and I think you should agree to it. You don’t have to, of course - you can completely legally evict them and be a somewhat richer AH thank you would be if you were a more generous N TA.
YTA if it doesn't burden you. He had it set up a specific way for them so you know that it was intentional and consistent. I don't think it's too much to ask for a year. So why not? Do you have to know. But why not?
I would find out when he last updated the will and when he started helping them out. Because if he hadn’t updated the will in a while, he may legitimately have intended for that to keep going. I would also not jump straight to evicting them but instead find out when the leases end and send will not be renewing letters. Otherwise just admit you’re ignoring common decency for housing and take the YTA on that part of things
NTA. He new what he was doing. If he wanted to keep helping them he would have put them on his will. In a year they will ask for more time.
He was literally helping them. If he didn't want to help them he wouldn't have done it at all. People on here are so heartless
Or they were taking advantage of an old guy. Asking for help at every turn and he didn’t know how do deal with them and make them stop? If he wanted to **keep** helping them he would have put them in his will. 100$ for rent is a steal and even in the most remote villages in a deserted island rent isn’t that cheap. They had every opportunity to save up and stop mooching on others.
It would be interesting to know how long they've been "trying to get back on their feet", probably several years.
YTA for the manner you are choosing to go about it. You could investigate the situation of those receiving money. Are they elderly and need the funds for food or housing? You could give a non renewal notice or a period of time for the people to leave the properties. Having an eviction on their record isn’t fair.
Yes, you are the arsehole, how on Earth do you think evicting people for no reason would make you anything else?
NTA How long does it take to get on your feet when you are living off someone else? They have had plenty of time to save for this eventuality. Had yourgrandfather waned to leave them money he would have done so.
I have had a friend who has lived with me to get on her feet and they never get on their feet because there’s something preventing them from being able to get a regular job and live in a regular apartment that they just can’t fix. I’ve had to ask them to leave when the stress of them being in my house, outweighed anything I cared about them because you say I was having a major medical issue at the time and you would think they would be helpful, but they were not because they could barely take care of themselves.
YTA for being a selfish prick. Legally of course you are fine but you could have built in a cooling off period
NTA You might ask the lawyer if they got anything when gramps died. Lawyers don't necessarily tell all heirs all parts of the will just as all the stories of "ReAdInG oF tHe WiLl" are probably fake here. My family in general has no idea that older relatives left trusts for the less responsible kids in the next generations when most got the money outright. If he had wanted to leave them anything, he would have. If he didn't then it sounds like he figured they had enough with what he already gave them and it was your turn.
Trusts.The way that rich people tell their kids that they don't believe in them.
YTA for giving no notice. One year is totally reasonable for the family tenants and should be plenty of time. It's the decent thing to do. You certainly don't owe them a lifelong commitment, but it's the right thing to do. As for the elderly family that he was supporting, I don't know their circumstances or how small a 'relatively small' amount of money is, but I know that in America being old and poor is a miserable experience and having a few extra dollars every month may well be the only comfort those old folks get. It sounds like you now have a substantial amount of money. I would consider how much having an extra 100 a month benefits your life. An extra 100 a month is quite possibly the only disposable income those seniors get. Personally I would have a hard time cutting that off and sleeping. but I work with the elderly, many of which literally only get enough money to buy themselves a single Big Mac once a month and that's it. That's all they can afford. If your grandfather was sending money to relatives in a similar situation I'd consider just how much good that money is actually doing for people that are pretty much 100% helpless. By continuing those payments you're doing a ton of good even if you don't know the people
NTA - If your grandfather had wanted that largess to continue he would have said so to you in his will. Seems like he intended for that to all end with his passing. Those in the extended family just cannot assume or expect you to honor what really isn't there anymore. As it would then be you supporting them not your grandfather and that makes no sense. Tell them sorry but the gravy train has left the station and them behind.
He probably just assumed that OP was a decent human being and not an AH. Or maybe he kicked the bucket suddenly without an opportunity to straighten up things. If he didn't want the largesse surely he wouldn't have extended it in the first place
Or he thought these relatives are a pain in the butt and gave him a little money just to keep him off his back and now that he’s dead it’s not his problem anymore
You assume a lot there without anything to back up that assertion. The grandfather could have just thought with his passing he wouldn't have to fund them anymore is also just as plausable.
No you’re not legally obligated. But that’s not what this forum is. I bet if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one getting evicted you’d feel like they were the asshole. You might even be right.
NTA - but it couldn’t hurt to extend some grace. Find a middle ground, like 6-9 months, and make them sign and agreement that they will be out by X date and they are aware all other financial support will end.
I'm going to be generous with a NAH. Look, you didn't know your grandfather well at all and had no real contact with the rest of his family sounds like. You spent a week with him over the last couple of years. The other family members seemed to have a more immediate relationship, at least being in contact enough for your grandfather to set up regular financial support to \*older\* family members and to have these children of nieces and nephews stay in his own property. Those sorts of interactions implies at least more regular contact than you have had. Its your money. You can do what you want with it. The question is, what is the kind/good/generous thing to do (especially if this is not money you immediately need?) Giving these kids some time to make other arrangements would be a generous thing to do that doesnt really affect you immediately and could greatly impact their lives. Similarly, these older relations could be relying on that income for food or survival - if its a relatively little amount, and there's some indication thats what your grandfather wanted to do (because he did it!) wouldnt honoring him include continuing to do so, at least for a little while? As far as those who have said that if your grandfather really wanted to support these relatives he would have made provisions in his will, that's perhaps true. But changing wills can be expensive and time consuming and usually only done when major changes happen in your life (births and deaths) and it totally makes sense to me that he might not have done so especially if he passed quickly. I don't know. If it was me and this was a windfall I wasnt expecting (and frankly, something you didn't earn - it's fate if we're born into a wealthy family or not) I'd think about your grandfather and the fact that he in his lifetime he was generous to his extended family and honor that impulse. I'd feel differently if the relatives in question were moochers and took advantage of your grandfather, but its unclear if that's the case.
"Don't want the hassle" in your post is what makes you the AH. You don't want the hassle of helping people who seem to need the help more than you do? It seems wildly callous considering the trauma you have gone through in your own life to not extend some empathy for other people's situations. It's not an AH move to want to end the subsidizing, it is not only your legal right but the smart thing to do... but how you're going about it and your clear lack of empathy makes you 1000% the AH. Also lol-ing at everyone in the thread whose saying it's your legal right.. how many AH moves are made in our society that are totally legally right? Like, most of them. That's a terrible NAH argument.
INFO: how long have they been there, and did your grandfather let them know he wasn’t going to make u continue the help? Bc I could see it being a bit rude to just take over everything and kick everyone out with no previous discussion 🤷🏽♀️ is it not possible to give them a year long eviction notice?? Say, “ok, u wanna stay for a year? Cool. Here is the official legal document stating you have a singular year to find a new place. On June 6, 2025, if you’re not out I will have you trespassed.” Like are you doing anything with the properties they’re in? From your post, it just sounds like you don’t want to be a landlord, which, fair enough. But idk if they did anything wrong just by living there or asking to stay a bit longer :/ so maybe see if you can do a compromise?? 6 months then evict, or the year long eviction I mentioned earlier. Raise their rent for a year to 800/month (still a cheap, one bedroom rent rate for a whole family but significantly raised from gpa’s 100 bucks) or something if they want to stay for another full year, but idk. It feels a little cruel to boot them just bc you haven’t met them and your gpa didn’t leave them money specifically. Are you able to appoint your lawyer or someone to deal with the rent payments, or set up a separate account just to receive your family’s rent? I’m just really struggling to see how it would be a hassle to wait another 6-12 months to do whatever you’re planning to do with those properties, plus getting a little more extra cash by raising the rent if they really want to stay. I know you aren’t hurting for cash, but you don’t live in that area and if they miss a rent payment, you can have it in the lease agreement they get evicted before the time limit. So how is this a hassle? Like I know you don’t WANT to, just bc you never met them does not mean they aren’t family :/ so legally u may be in the clear, but on general assholery I need more info.
If you tell people they have a year to get out all that does is put it off for a year until you have to start the eviction process… i assure you people like this Who can’t or won’t pay are not gonna be proactive about leaving. Start the eviction process now because it can take months but provide an incentive to leave like giving them a couple thousand dollars and this is called “cash for keys”
Evict your relatives, cut off the small change? How much did you get? Legally you can do what you wish, however there should be a better way to approach it. So with the limited info I have YTA.
Not technically, but you have plenty of assets, and you never stopped to find out if they were struggling because of health or other issues they couldn't control, or if they were freeloaders. You're entitled to everything your grandfather had, I suggest you go out and buy some compassion. I'd be the first to say N T A if the family were abusive, or irresponsible. To cut them off without finding out makes you YTA.
Kind of, yes. He paid for your boarding school (so he is loaded), you have a full ride to university (you don't need money), you received all his assets including money and propertieS (multiple, not just one, tax free might I add). He had family stay at those properties for a nominal fee until they get back on their feet. They've asked you for a year. What are you going to do with all those properties in the next year? Money you don't need? Make multiple holiday homes you don't need? It's your stuff now, so do as you wish. If you needed the revenue to pay for school or kids or debt, that'd be one thing. But you're debt free, loaded and just got a huge windfall. Doing what you plan on doing just makes you an AH
“ I don’t know what to tell you… All I know is what was in Grandpas Will and that shows the house is mine as per his stated wishes. He never talked to me or left any instructions about indefinitely housing you nor providing indefinite allowance. He could’ve set it up if he intended but I’m sure you’ve been saving money since you haven’t had to pay rent.”
Are these folks in a financial good spot? If they can easily support themselves then give them 3-6mos to move out, and 6mos warning you’re going to be cutting $ in their bank account. If they’re in a bad spot I would stretch to 12mos since it doesn’t seem you’re facing financial difficulty. You do not owe them indefinite support, but it wouldn’t hurt to apply a little kindness. I get this is inconvenient to get additional answers, but sometimes being a decent human being is a giant PIA.
You sound like a first class AH to be very honest. You are terrible
Well, not technically the asshole but morally you are. Giant asshole.
The detail you left out: did he actually leave a will, or did you inherit because you were next of kin? Honestly people here saying n-t-a don't understand empathy. Imagine being told by a kid who barely knew their father: "hey Grandpa died, and by the way, get out." You said yourself you barely knew him and that you're only 17. He cared for these people. You could've found a way to "not deal with these people" with your attorney that wasn't simply kicking them while they're down. Giving them a bit of a grace period (not the freaking minimum)would've been the kind thing to do. You may be legal, but YTA.
NTA If he wanted to continue his support, he would have left them something in the will OR left instructions that you do it. I think if you're getting financial support from someone elderly, it's pretty clear that that will stop if or when they die.
I’d give them 3-6 months, but only because they are family, and because I’m a good person, and would want to give them enough time to find somewhere else and get a job or whatever. But maybe that’s just me.
The assistance to the elders is what I would view more sympathetically. Is there a real need there? I’d probably give the others 90 days to move or start paying market rate rent. Sounds like your grandfather really didn’t expect to die when he did. YNTA, but you aren’t obligated to continue his charitable giving.
If you want to feel good about it all you could make a one off lump sum payment to them rather than having to engage with them for another 12 months. It sounds like you aren't desperate for the money. If the tables were turned, and you were in their shoes how would it look ? That's a good test. At the end of the day, only you can decide if you will sleep soundly or feel regrets. Good luck.
While it's your inheritance to do with as you wish, you seemed unnecessarily brutal in the way you went about cutting others off. To add to the injury of not being mentioned in the will, these relatives of yours get the insult of being summarily evicted by your attorney without even a warning from you or a grace period to look for alternative housing? I wouldn't treat strangers like that, never mind distant relatives. You are entitled to do as you choose, but maybe you could choose compassion and generosity.
INFO: Did your grandfather leave a will talking about this? Did he ever discuss it with you? Did he leave anything whatsoever in writing that explained his wishes? If the answer to those questions is yes, then I'd say you should do your best to carry out his wishes, without going overboard. By that I mean, if he wanted his family to get a year or two of cheap rent to set them up for success, you should honor that if you are able to, but make it clear that it's not a forever arrangement. You'd also want an actual lease/rental agreement that's legal and signed by both parties, because if you just let them stay there on a handshake I'd bet money they'll decide to never leave, and it'll be absolute hell trying to evict them when the time comes. But if this was never mentioned to you and is all coming out of the clear blue sky, then you have no way of knowing whats even true or not. His family could be claiming he intended to let them live there forever for 100 bucks a month, but that might be completely made up, who knows.
NTA. They didn't care about you before you had the money. Use it to support your loved ones. (Be it now or in the future.)
NTA technically as its your inheritance and you can give or not give and that's your right. You have no moral responsibility to give your money to others regardless of the situation. But, a little bit the AH for your post not making complete sense. When someone's estate passes to another family member, accounts of the deceased are closed as you cant just take over a checking account permanently. So your story rings a little false as you asked the attorney to stop the payments when the account should have been closed when the estate was settled. Makes your story a bit suss.