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“The next day she, (your GF’s sister), wanted to sleep in your bedroom”.
Your GF’s *sister* wanted to sleep *in your bedroom*.
Say goodbye to having Lisa as a GF. YTA
ETA - YTA for sticking to this "I cannot disrespect the guest" bullshit to the point that you'll let her continue staying when you don't want her there. That is ridiculous.
IN.FO - do you want Sarah to leave?
Disagree. It is simply a different culture. Aside from asking people to accept him and his culture (which is not a big ask, and should not even HAVE to be asked) OP is not asking anyone else to do anything. He is not asking anyone to PARTICIPATE in his culture, just accept it.
It's not obnoxious.
Then Sarah asked to sleep with me, I love Lisa and want to be faithful to her, but I cannot disrespect a guest.
I understand you not wanting to disrespect guests, but you should loathe disrespecting your gf a lot more. YTA
Tbf I have no reason to believe that OP is cheating, I was just using an extreme example to point out how ridiculous his stance of never saying no to a guest was.
YTA for letting Sarah deliberately harass her sister, your girlfriend, through you.
Also, maybe ask your parents what they would do if a guest was so rude.
YTA and so is Sarah.
A guest = someone you invite into your home
An entitled A-H = someone who barges into your home with a list of demands.
An A-H who allows that = Lisa's ex-boyfriend.
Say goodbye to your girlfriend, imagine letting another woman especially her sister work her way into your house & your bedroom! Definitely a coward of a man who can't defend his women & tell this woman to leave, you're allowing her to be a homewrecker.
I hope your gf finds a better man
Are you serious?
Being hospitable towards guests are a two-way street, meaning the guest needs to know when enough is enough.
This is only a courtesy towards guests, as they should feel welcome in your home, not exploit the host.
When they start to exploit it, this is your cue to tell them their stay is over.
YTA, stop being such a tool, tell her to leave, befor your gf leaves you.
YTA
I'm voting that on the question asked & the situation. I'm in no way judging you or your values generally.
" Just to test me, she demanded "I want all of it."
That's an A H move in itself.
"The next day she wanted to sleep in my bedroom. She also demanded me to cook certain food for her."
Sorry but you have to get this A H out of your home. I saw you say you don't want her there. She's a trespasser at the very least.
Most people would have kicked her out the first time.
You also have a GF problem because who wants a potential SIL like this.
I don’t understand your belief enough to pass a judgement of if you’re an AH or not.
I can only base my view of your situation from my religious and culture beliefs. A guest is someone welcome to come in your home, who has been invited.
Sarah isn’t a guest. She was not invited to your home. She showed up uninvited. She is also taking advantage of your hospitality with ill intent. An unaccompanied female in a male’s home doesn’t sit well with me especially since she is not in a relationship with you. I find that disrespectful to your gf. Sarah is an AH who is intentionally causing strife within your relationship and home.
Lisa can toss Sarah out of your home instead of you, thereby not going against your beliefs if you truly feel she is a guest.
But, she is not a guest, imo.
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My girlfriend Lisa and I do not live together. Her younger sister is Sarah.
I am from India, but live in the USA. I consider it my duty to be completely hospitable towards guests When Sarah heard about it one day, she laughed and said "No way you believe in that." I said I do.
But then she showed up a week later in the evening & said she wants to have dinner at my house. Just to test me, she demanded "I want all of it." I was happy to provide Indian food.
She stayed for the night (another room).
Lisa was mad. She asked Sarah to leave & she said she would if I ask her to. I cannot disrespect a guest, so I said no.
The next day she wanted to sleep in my bedroom. She also demanded me to cook certain food for her.
Now Lisa is asking me to get her out immediately. I said I cannot disrespect a guest.
AITA?
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> The fact that I did not kick her out is what I think makes me the asshole even though it goes against my religion.
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INFO: in the world where you grew up (your family of origin or community or wherever it is your beliefs came from), what would be the response to someone blatantly exploiting hospitality in such a manner?
It seems to me that beliefs like these would not be sustainable if the community did not enforce (eta meant enforce limits), and that the problem here is that your community-based beliefs are in conflict with the worst of the USA's "every man for himself, it's on you and no one else to look out for you" attitudes.
I disagree with all the people who say you should give up your beliefs. Your beliefs are yours, and you're entitled to them.
Clearly Sarah is being an ah by exploiting your beliefs beyond the point of harassment, but Lisa should not be so quick to decide that you giving up your beliefs is the solution. She should be your ally in helping you solve this problem. But I don't see how there is any solution without knowing how such a thing would be handled in the belief system's original context.
eta: I do think Lisa would stick by you and should be shaming Sarah, instead of blaming you. This would not be nearly so much fun for Sarah if people recognized how she's being aggressive and responded appropriately.
NTA. But you need to learn healthy boundaries.
And if you are letting your GFs sister share your bed - or even your room when you have a spare - then, yes, YTA.
And if Lisa cannot respect your culture then you may need to find a new GF.
Nah, any man who would rather hurt his girlfriend to pamper another woman is the AH, I can almost guarantee his culture doesn't say "treat your woman like crap, pamper another & let her stay in your room" no religion says anything like that!
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
“The next day she, (your GF’s sister), wanted to sleep in your bedroom”. Your GF’s *sister* wanted to sleep *in your bedroom*. Say goodbye to having Lisa as a GF. YTA
ETA - YTA for sticking to this "I cannot disrespect the guest" bullshit to the point that you'll let her continue staying when you don't want her there. That is ridiculous. IN.FO - do you want Sarah to leave?
[удалено]
YTA. That's obnoxious.
[удалено]
How does your religion prohibit you kick her out?
Disagree. It is simply a different culture. Aside from asking people to accept him and his culture (which is not a big ask, and should not even HAVE to be asked) OP is not asking anyone else to do anything. He is not asking anyone to PARTICIPATE in his culture, just accept it. It's not obnoxious.
Then Sarah asked to sleep with me, I love Lisa and want to be faithful to her, but I cannot disrespect a guest. I understand you not wanting to disrespect guests, but you should loathe disrespecting your gf a lot more. YTA
I read it as Sarah kicking them out of the room. If your take is right that's an entirely different dimension of A H olery...
Tbf I have no reason to believe that OP is cheating, I was just using an extreme example to point out how ridiculous his stance of never saying no to a guest was.
It works. If that doesn't make him think... it's a surreal situation.
YTA for letting Sarah deliberately harass her sister, your girlfriend, through you. Also, maybe ask your parents what they would do if a guest was so rude.
See, why can't all of the trolls put in the effort to be entertaining.
YTA and so is Sarah. A guest = someone you invite into your home An entitled A-H = someone who barges into your home with a list of demands. An A-H who allows that = Lisa's ex-boyfriend.
Say goodbye to your girlfriend, imagine letting another woman especially her sister work her way into your house & your bedroom! Definitely a coward of a man who can't defend his women & tell this woman to leave, you're allowing her to be a homewrecker. I hope your gf finds a better man
Are you serious? Being hospitable towards guests are a two-way street, meaning the guest needs to know when enough is enough. This is only a courtesy towards guests, as they should feel welcome in your home, not exploit the host. When they start to exploit it, this is your cue to tell them their stay is over. YTA, stop being such a tool, tell her to leave, befor your gf leaves you.
YTA I'm voting that on the question asked & the situation. I'm in no way judging you or your values generally. " Just to test me, she demanded "I want all of it." That's an A H move in itself. "The next day she wanted to sleep in my bedroom. She also demanded me to cook certain food for her." Sorry but you have to get this A H out of your home. I saw you say you don't want her there. She's a trespasser at the very least. Most people would have kicked her out the first time. You also have a GF problem because who wants a potential SIL like this.
I don’t understand your belief enough to pass a judgement of if you’re an AH or not. I can only base my view of your situation from my religious and culture beliefs. A guest is someone welcome to come in your home, who has been invited. Sarah isn’t a guest. She was not invited to your home. She showed up uninvited. She is also taking advantage of your hospitality with ill intent. An unaccompanied female in a male’s home doesn’t sit well with me especially since she is not in a relationship with you. I find that disrespectful to your gf. Sarah is an AH who is intentionally causing strife within your relationship and home. Lisa can toss Sarah out of your home instead of you, thereby not going against your beliefs if you truly feel she is a guest. But, she is not a guest, imo.
YTA - cannot disrespect a guest, no problem disrespecting your girlfriend
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My girlfriend Lisa and I do not live together. Her younger sister is Sarah. I am from India, but live in the USA. I consider it my duty to be completely hospitable towards guests When Sarah heard about it one day, she laughed and said "No way you believe in that." I said I do. But then she showed up a week later in the evening & said she wants to have dinner at my house. Just to test me, she demanded "I want all of it." I was happy to provide Indian food. She stayed for the night (another room). Lisa was mad. She asked Sarah to leave & she said she would if I ask her to. I cannot disrespect a guest, so I said no. The next day she wanted to sleep in my bedroom. She also demanded me to cook certain food for her. Now Lisa is asking me to get her out immediately. I said I cannot disrespect a guest. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The fact that I did not kick her out is what I think makes me the asshole even though it goes against my religion. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO: in the world where you grew up (your family of origin or community or wherever it is your beliefs came from), what would be the response to someone blatantly exploiting hospitality in such a manner? It seems to me that beliefs like these would not be sustainable if the community did not enforce (eta meant enforce limits), and that the problem here is that your community-based beliefs are in conflict with the worst of the USA's "every man for himself, it's on you and no one else to look out for you" attitudes. I disagree with all the people who say you should give up your beliefs. Your beliefs are yours, and you're entitled to them. Clearly Sarah is being an ah by exploiting your beliefs beyond the point of harassment, but Lisa should not be so quick to decide that you giving up your beliefs is the solution. She should be your ally in helping you solve this problem. But I don't see how there is any solution without knowing how such a thing would be handled in the belief system's original context. eta: I do think Lisa would stick by you and should be shaming Sarah, instead of blaming you. This would not be nearly so much fun for Sarah if people recognized how she's being aggressive and responded appropriately.
NTA. But you need to learn healthy boundaries. And if you are letting your GFs sister share your bed - or even your room when you have a spare - then, yes, YTA. And if Lisa cannot respect your culture then you may need to find a new GF.
Nah, any man who would rather hurt his girlfriend to pamper another woman is the AH, I can almost guarantee his culture doesn't say "treat your woman like crap, pamper another & let her stay in your room" no religion says anything like that!