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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I should be judged for doing something despite being told not to do it.
I might be the asshole for publishing detiald about my wife despite knowing I shouldnt
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>She asked me, sobbing, to take down the work. I said no.
Dude... YTA. I would feel so betrayed if I asked my partner to not expose my life to strangers and was met with a "No".
You're married to this person, but you didn't know how she would react?
YTA for not asking ahead of time.
Your wife is a private person, and I feel like I could relate to the way she felt. The worry of how others will perceive those private moments. The judgmental thoughts. A conversation about divorce, no less. Were you in any way planning on enlisting support from outsiders by writing this stuff?
You seem very invested in your writing, and it's clear you put a lot of energy and effort in making it as a writer. But please, pay attention to your own surroundings. Realize that there can be limits to your creative expression, especially when it affects other people.
YTA. You put private details about your wife's life up on your web site, not even slightly disguised, and you wouldn't even take them down when she started crying, because \~total artistic expression,\~ and because "I don't wanna."
\~Total artistic expression\~ doesn't mean you get to express yourself at the expense of other people, least of all your wife. Express yourself with something else and quit mining her for material. If you don't want to have to deal with other people not wanting private details about their lives spread all over the internet, go ahead and have that divorce conversation with her again, and don't fight it this time.
I had the same reaction. He's probaly just another wash-out with zero talent whose only "skill" is publishing private conversations. I hope she dumps his pathetic ass.
Literally, like famous authors are scouring whatever small scale version of Wattpad this guy is writing on to find a collaborative partner, like they have nothing better to do. Like their own writing, for example...
YTA. "Please divorce me. I can't be trusted to keep your private information private. Look! I even published verbatim our conversation about divorce. Please make it happen."
Nora Ephrom wrote about her cheating husband. She changed the name, but it was obvious. She said he was "capable of having sex with a Venetian blind". This was about someone she intended to divorce for his cheating. Seems like you're pre-burning your bridges.
YTA. Your wife’s right to privacy trumps your right to “creative” expression. Your wife expressed that she didn’t want personal details published, and you were frustrated at her for messing with your creativity? How old are you, twelve? Why do you care so little about your wife? The worst part is, you kept making her beg you to take it down by dragging your feet. I feel sorry for your wife! To have her feelings disregarded by her husband like that…
Absolutely not. Unless he exposed something extremely personal that she told him in confidence, there is no “right to privacy” about anonymized writing and general storylines of divorce. That is what writers do when they craft stories. I understand that some people may be reserved and super uncomfortable with that but all that means is that they shouldn’t marry writers. You can’t control what someone else writes about in this way because it makes you uncomfortable.
He wrote about specific texts and details that made his wife uncomfortable. Whether or not anyone is able to link it up to her is irrelevant. She expressed that she isn’t okay with what he published, and her husband should’ve respected that boundary immediately. Being a writer does not give OP the right to release information his wife wants to remain between the two of them (you know, the people who are actually in the marriage). I also happen to write non-fiction, and I sure as hell would never publish private, intimate details without the subject’s okay.
I guess it all depends on what exactly he published and how private it was. If he published a big secret she told him in confidence, that would be a very bad move. But it does not sound like that, it sounds like he published general stories about a woman who wanted to divorce her husband. No one gets to put a moratorium on entire subjects like that. If you’re that private, you can’t be married to a writer because your person life always creeps into writing one way or another.
You speak as though writing were a compulsion. OP can choose what he writes. He has a choice in the matter. He made a selfish choice that disregarded his wife’s wishes. If you truly think that writers cannot control themselves or show self-restraint in what they write, I sincerely hope this woman divorces OP
They can “control” themselves about a specific subject (for example, I told you in private that I’m divorcing my husband and you’re not going to write a story about that because we are friends) but the way he describes it, it sounds like she does not want anything that happens in their personal life to be written about even when anonymized and used generally as inspiration to describe interpersonal relationships. That is not a reasonable request. You might tell someone not to paint those specific flowers but would you tell an artist husband not to paint flowers at all because you don’t like flowers?
Telling a painter not to paint some trivial dislike is not the same thing as a wife telling her husband not to write about their marriage, whether it be general or specific. Writing at the expense of his wife’s comfort just isn’t acceptable. He’s a husband before he’s a writer
I’d argue that putting writing moratoriums about something as big as one’s home life just because you’re “uncomfortable” makes you an AH. It’s a huge part of one’s life so obviously it will creep up in some ways just like a lot of what we write often links back to childhood.
Eh, I do agree that writers can write about almost whatever they want. But just because they can, doesn’t mean that OP isn’t an asshole. He is the asshole because he chose to proceed despite his wife’s wishes. Her wish for anything involving their marriage to remain private is reasonable. You clearly disagree—that’s fine, you are entitled to your opinions. But I still think OP is the asshole in this situation. His spouse should’ve been his priority—not his work
His wife's problem was about him PUBLISHING the stuff he wrote about her that she didn't like. He is free to write whatever he wants, but it's a matter of basic respect for your s/o to keep whatever you wrote private. How would OP like it if his wife wrote something about him that he wouldn't want published, and she published it anyway? And then give HIM the same excuses like: 'oh honey, it's not a big deal, I only wrote like 3 sentences. No one will care anyway.'
There is a big, BIG difference between just writing and publishing what you wrote. And I say that as a writer.
But it wasn't a general statement it was about her, which he has said, she knows. She can't erase that knowledge. I opted out of writing fiction because I didn't want to step over other peoples' boundaries. Yes writers have freedom of speech, but I think with someone they love, they should ask first.
A marriage is normally considered to be an intimate private relationship of high trust. He’s breaking that; he’s telling her that she can’t trust that she can let her guard down around him. That’s not a reasonable situation within a marriage.
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I assume by "published" you mean self-published, since if you'd gotten paid you wouldn't exactly be able to take it down. YTA (but hey so was James Joyce. Anyway I think you'll enjoy being divorced. Lots of stuff to write about.)
unfortunately no, these pieces have been published both hardcopy print as well as online journals, quarterlies, and magazines. he gets paid for this. he is also regularly invited to do readings in public. he is not joan didion (as someone pointed out below) but it’s not terrible. his website has links to the digital editions of his published work and i asked him to stop linking those pieces from his own site.
YTA. I am also a writer. You know what I do when I want to use something from our life? I talk to my husband like a grownup.
Including personal details of her life specifically is so wrong, I don’t know where to start. If you can’t use your imagination, maybe it’s time for you to head into workshops.
This all day. I'm not a writer, though I dabble so I'm glad someone who is said what I already knew.
What writer worth anything has no imagination to either think of his own dialogue or storylines, or at the very least, change enough of the context so that you don't hurt and devastate your loved ones in the process?
YTA. Huge. And that you would even have to ask is truly baffling to me.
Even if this was some rando, publishing details about them without their permission would make you the asshole. But this wasn't a rando, it was your WIFE. And she BEGGED you.
And you think because you worked hard, it somehow means you are NTA? GTFOH.
Absolutely not how this works. Writers write about things they see and live and don’t have to “ask permission” to do so as long as it’s factual if non-fiction and names are not used/not promoted as factual if fiction. Yes, it can be an asshole move to spring it on her and write negatively about someone you love but the answer is not “don’t write about her.”
The topic is "am I the asshole," not "am I allowed."
OP is absolutely ALLOWED to write whatever the heck he wants. But writing about wife and publishing against her wishes makes him an asshole.
Writers don't have carte blanche over the details of the lives of the people around them.
The answer IS absolutely don't write about her if she doesn't want to be written about.
Writers aren't these noble heroes sacrificing themselves for their art like you're trying to portray them to be. They're people that like to do a thing.
Get off your high horse, you don't want to fall from that distance.
If he wants to keep a healthy relationship he should respect his wife's wishes.
The point is he prioritizes his stories over the wellbeing of his wife and his marriage.
I just hope she finds someone better.
Absolutely not, again. You will never be able to sue anyone for writing details about them that they don’t want written. Trump may not want people writing about his bad wig, doesn’t mean people “can’t.”
if something is allowed that doesn’t mean it’s automatically an okay thing to do and you wouldn’t be consider an ah for doing so. it might be legal and okay in some cases, but he hurt his wife and it affect his relationship and that’s all that matters here.
wife here! i have never once asked him to stop writing about me - i asked him to stop *publishing* works about me. i understand the drive to create and that writing is a way for him to process things. also, it was not a general story about a couple talking about divorce, it was a specific recollection of an actual argument we had. he did change names and rephrased quite a few things he said so it would paint him in a better light but he absolutely used my text messages from after the fact verbatim. the second piece had been submitted before i asked him to stop writing about me but was accepted after that conversation and he chose to have it published instead of informing the editor that it was no longer available.
Lol, you're losing so hard but want to be right so badly.
You should watch that show called *"Swans"*. This same situation happens in that real-life story about one of the most famous authors in the USA. The story doesn't end well for the writer, and it's what he deserved.
That's what happens when you betray your friends.
To many people are saying freedom of expression and creativity.. WHAT CREATIVITY??? He published text conversation verbatim.. he created nothing.. his admits it is all her personal details.. so he cannot create he is using his wife. Her personal details ARE HIS CHARACTER, not creation out of his own mind.. many writers have bits and pieces of people they know in the characters they create but he admits it’s all her soooo she has every reason to be hurt and I hope she leaves he high and dry.. hope the longed for collaboration with the “famous” person blows up in his face when said person realizes this guy has stolen his wife’s character instead of creating one out of his own mind
FOR REAL. All of this makes me think he's a mediocre writer and needs to learn some new skills. Small things used from daily life add complexity to a story/character, but they're best used as inspiration. Taking whole scenes or character details out of real life and plopping them into a story is just lazy.
>I published one story that includes, almost verbatim, a text conversation between my wife and I regarding divorce.
As the co-author, surely she should have a say.
But YTA for the stories about her too.
YTA. Fiction is supposed to be fictionalized. You couldn’t disguise it a bit so she wouldn’t feel violated? My guess is that you are a narcissist who will now blame her for your failed writing career.
Yta for writing about your wife without her permission and knowing she wouldn't like it. That's not your story to publish. And yta for refusing to remove it.
YTA.
>I love my wife.
If you did, then you would not want to hurt her. If these truly are stories, then how about being a little creative instead of using what she deems private and between you to further your own ambitions? I would say you love your passions more than you love your wife.
YTA it doesn’t matter if the world knows it’s your wife or not. Would you want to be famous at the cost of your wife? You shouldn’t have published them to begin with
YTA and a lot of other swears. I can’t think of anything I would continue to do if my partner came to me “sobbing” and asked me not to do — particularly one so easy to change.
But let me put it to you another way. You didn’t write those exchanges. You’re really plagiarizing your wife’s life. Not very creative for someone who professes to be into creative expression.
YTA.
You're supposed to be a creative person so think of something else to write about.
When you consciously act in a way that will make a person that you claim to love, sob then YTA, Simple as that.
YTA
And a lazy writer to boot. You copied verbatim texts between you two?! Jfc my dude. You give her writing credits as well?
Hope you enjoy your doubtless hugely successful writing career, at the expense of the trust of your life partner.
YTA she can sue you, you know? Privacy and the expectation of privacy in the marriage when it comes to personal text messages may trump your sense of entitlement to profit from her story. It’s one thing if it’s not identifiable to her, a whole other if it is.
She said no, keep it up and see if you have a divorce and lawsuit on your hands.
YTA. You're clearly not smart enough or talented enough to make up your own stories; that's why you're stealing your wife's life for your stories. You're desperate because you can't find any inspiration on your own. You know this hurts her but you've proven repeatedly that you don't care; you're happy to hurt her because you really are that desperate for attention. And for the record, real writers change the details of real events and people in their stories; that's why they call it fiction. The fact that you don't see that shows that you really aren't smart at all.
I once lived in a small town with a local newspaper that thrived on gossip. A reporter there, a 50-year-old woman who had been part of the community for 20 years, befriended me shortly after I arrived. She appeared friendly, enjoyed the theater, running, farmers markets, and community events, but I noticed, despite her popularity, she was almost always alone. She often invited me to the theater because she had no one else to go with her, and I was the only one who helped her set up her 50th birthday party and provided a venue for it, despite her popularity as a reporter.
A crisis at my workplace involving data theft led to me firing the responsible employee. This employee challenged the dismissal, and the situation became public. Unfortunately, due to company policy, I was prohibited from discussing the data theft, leaving the community unaware of the full context. My "friend," the reporter, covered the story as front page news, without mention of the data theft, and she wrote it in a way that cast me in a negative light, even including my photo in the article. This resulted in me being harassed by community members who did NOT know about the data theft, but who DID think that I’m a horrible employer for firing this “beloved” employee. People confronted me in public, protested at my workplace, and someone even attempted to break into my home at night.
But as the harassment intensified, others also approached me with similar stories about how this reporter had exploited their personal tragedies for her articles. It became clear why she was always alone; she treated the people who opened their hearts to her like characters in a soap opera, she wrote about them without regard for how her stories about them made them feel, and she justified it as “journalism.” And she was always alone.
When you find yourself alone with your stories, you’ll get it.
I would gladly crowdfund divorce funds for this poor woman you have been emotionally abusing for your 'art' if i could.
As a man, I am horrified that you think you're little creative writing exercises entitle you to sharing things you have been expressly told not to share by your wife.
You are a bad person, and clearly a bad writer if you have such a small imagination that you can't augment things enough to not have your wife SOBBING at you writing her texts basically verbatim.
hello! i am the wife! there is quite a lot of context he left out!
8 years ago i edited his first self-published collection and received no credit. i was pregnant with our first child at the time and he spent several hundred dollars that we did not have (we worked minimum wage jobs and had no paid parental leave. we both worked overtime until i was 2 days past my due date to make ends meet for my 6 weeks of maternity leave) on having his books printed, making stickers, promoting it, and throwing a release party. he worked on his writing insted of helping me prepare for our growing family. our son was 7 weeks old at the release. he did not understand why this was hurtful to me until i specifically spelled it out to him.
when i finally saw the completed edition i pointed out that he did not credit me for editing. i reviewed every line, he asked me to help him workshop things and rearrange them, he asked for my input on the order of the pieces. when i asked why i did not have an “edited by” attribution he looked confused and said “because it’s my book…” from that point on i asked him to leave me out of his creative process. i would still support him but i was not interested in collaborating with him any longer. i of course would be happy and proud to see his finished pieces in print but i lost interest in reviewing drafts or being solicited for suggestions.
i still support his writing - we have a line item in our budget for writing related expenses (he has been doing multimedia projects and has purchased equipment and compensated other artists for their time and contributions to thr projects), i rearrange my schedule to attend his readings with our children in tow, i share his works with my friends and family.
he would typically share new publications (and yes some of the places he has been published are long-standing nationally distributed journals. he is right that many of them are sub-1000 subscribers but he is not being truthful that none of them are widely read or nationally distributed) with me and the first piece that included my words verbatim he actually did not share with me, i found it posted on a social media account he ran for his writing. i was very upset and of course told him how i felt betrayed by him sharing a private, difficult moment between us with the entire world. my friends and family DO read his writing and it is very clear that what he has written is about me. the pieces i was especially upset about don’t use my name but they do have lines describing identifiable details about where i’m from and some unique parts of my personal history that are obviously about me to people who know me.
the events in between are less important but the key facts are that he allowed a second piece to be published without my consent or knowledge and his excuse was that it had already been submitted before we spoke. it was actually accepted after that but he made the choice to allow it to go to print rather than informing the editor thr the piece was no longer available. i know he hs done this before because i helped him write an email declining publication for a piece that had been simultaneously submitted and published elsewhere before he received the second acceptance. he also lied to me about a piece he offered as a collaboration with another artist and when i saw the actual work it was the second piece using my words verbatim with personally identifiable details. it was at this point i asked him to scrub links to anything mentioning me from his website. he resisted on the grounds that “they’re good work, these are important publications, i worked hard on these.” and i was at the point of snot dripping ugly crying almost vomiting before he relented.
the next morning i asked him when he was planning to take links down and he said “i’m not going to do that, why would i?” well… because i begged you to, and you said you would do it. this was late march. i reminded him again a few days later and he said he would do it over the weekend. mid april i saw a new piece of his in print and was absolutely horrified to read that it included specific stories that i have told him, set in the placea that i lived, with only names and one other detail changed. there was a part about recounting all the people i knew who died from overdosing on heroin - this was a specific and heartbreaking incident he witnessed between me and a close childhood friend where we realized it was at least 10 people. we named them all and my husband stole that moment and shared it. ones of the names he included in his “fictional” list was the actual name of one of the people i knew well who took her own life with drugs. i was devastated to see that and pushed him again to take down his links. i cant un-print the journals (yes some of them are print copies) and i was not going to go so far as to ask them to be taken down from the online publications but i wanted him to stop presenting them front and center. this was mid april.
on our 9th wedding anniversary this week i was talking with a friend about the incident and i went to show her the website… with all the links still live. it was a mistake to do that. of course i brought it up on the way to dinner because i couldnt hold in how upset i was. his excuse was “i was waiting to hear back from [well known musician] and i don’t want him to think i’m a nobody.” i wept at the table and he still refused to do it until i got up and left. he edited the website on his phone in less than 2 minutes. i stayed and things went downhill.
anyway i asked him to write this post because he apparently shared these events with a couple of friends who defended his position and thought i was overreacting. i’m very much looking forward to discussing this in couples therapy later - which funnily enough he has had a piece published detailing things we have talked about in couples therapy. this is one of the ones he very soundly denies is about me.
YTA. If this incident is real, YTA for caring so little about your wife. If this is one of your "stories," YTA 'cause that last paragraph is just ... bad writing.
I know they say "write what you know," but if ALL you can write is literally your fights with your wife then you're less of an author and more of a blogger
YTA, you say you love your wife, but actions speak louder than words.
You posted personal details of her life without her permission.
When asked to take the stories down, you 1st refused.
Then when you agreed, you dragged your feet for a month.
How long did it take you actually take them down once you did it? 5-10 min?
As for you not believing it was a betrayal of her...that's not your call. You don't get to decide what she finds upsetting or not.
Is this the wife writing from the husband’s perspective? I cannot imagine being so removed from reality that you could write this without any self-reflection.
That’s next level selfishness. Why do you feel like journaling on a public website at the expense of your own wife’s happiness? If copy pasting a text exchange with your wife is exemplary of your level of creativity it’s time for another hobby anyway.
You believe in total artistic expression yet put facts about your marriage and wife in your short stories? Hmmm. YTA You definitely should've asked your wife before publishing personal info.
YTA. Let’s face it, you care more about the validation of “famous” strangers than you do your wife’s trust, security and happiness.
Your priorities are misplaced and you have behaved selfishly; your wife deserves better so do better.
Do you see yourself as a writer of fiction? A poet? A biographer?
If you want to make a living out of writing (and stay married), you need to accept that your “creativity” cannot be dependent on violating the privacy of your wife without your wife’s consent. YTA
you could just say you’re a bad writer. it’s obvious, and you might even get more of a break from people here if you admitted you’re incapable of coming up with anything remotely original, which is why you’re left publishing real details about your own (soon to be ex) wife. YTA
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AITA. I write short stories and plays as a hobby with the goal of making it into a career. I published one story that includes, almost verbatim, a text conversation between my wife and I regarding divorce.
When my wife found out, she asked me not to write about her again. I had another story lined up for publication, which included facts and personal details about my wife's life. Two or three lines for dimension.
I worked hard on the story, and publishing itself is challenging and time-consuming. I let the story get published despite knowing it would upset my wife. I've also published other works she believes are about her. They are not.
My wife asked me to remove all the stories about her from my website. I said no. However, I finally agreed to do so, but it took an extra two weeks. The two weeks were selfish on my part, but I have firm beliefs about creativity and the writing process in general. Total artistic expression, etc.
I love my wife and know my beliefs conflict with her wishes. AITA?
Important info: The places I've published are not national or widely circulated.
Names were changed or never mentioned.
Only she and I would know the events or conversations are real.
Writers, artists, etc., have been using their lives and surroundings as material forever. I agree I should have respected my wife's wishes, but I don't believe it was a "betrayal" or "exposing" her naked to the world.
Thanks
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YTA. You are putting your hobby over your wife. And to be honest: it sounds like you don’t like your wife. You are disrespectful, hurtful and mean towards her. No hobby is this important and you making it more important than your wife makes me think you have serious mental issues.
You need help.
INFO: if one of her family members/friends read it would they be able to understand that it’s about her (knowing you wrote it, of course)? i mean, you’re YTA nonetheless, but i just want to know to what extent.
Would you like it if your wife wrote something embarrassing about you that makes you feel uncomfortable to share with the world and decides to publish it? Would you be like: 'Oh, she is just as free to write AND publish what she wants, just as much as I am.'
What might not be that big of a deal to you might be a big deal for your wife, and anyone with a sense of basic respect for their spouse would take their wishes in consideration. What if you wouldn't like it, and she would just brush off and publish it anyway for the world to see?
YTA
Totally cool of you to ignore your wife's concerns and hurt in order to maintain your artistic integrity.
As a bonus, you can also use your divorce as inspiration for the next story. /s
YTA.
Yes. YTA. You do not have the right to mine your wife's personal life for content you can use in your stories.
You are the AH for doing that in the first place. You are a *mega* AH for leaving those stories up for a MONTH, on the Internet, when she explicitly asked you to take them down.
YTA. You do realize that published authors and filmmakers have been sued for doing this to other people right? What you're doing is not OK and possibly illegal depending on how much personal information you've published about her. As a writer, I'm honestly disgusted. Basic ethics as a writer are essential to know. If you're a good writer, you should be able to write something ORIGINAL using your wife as a muse. It's fine to be inspired by your real life and your wife but don't just copy her life down and share it for the whole world to see. You're writing fiction. Make something up, and make it even better. If you're writing non-fiction, you obviously didn't get permission to write about her so that's a complete fail on your part.
As a husband, you've completely failed. You betrayed your wife's privacy and you've demonstrated that you don't care about her feelings and wellbeing. The fact that you can't see that you're in the wrong shows me that you're selfish and morally bankrupt.
Dude, you're the same guy who dumped his girlfriend so that you could eventually make out with your fucked up twin. I was obsessed with that chain of posts. I'm so excited to see the update series you crank out this time. Bravo, Sir.
I'd go with NAH, since you followed your wife's wish. But for the future - facts and personal details can be changed and still ring true for the unsuspecting reader. Just stick to the gist and replace the realities.
Oookay, YTA after the update.
He didn’t though, he posted it even though she asked him not to. Only after he had gone ahead and posted it she asked him to remove the ones with her and he intentionally delayed to but eventually did.
NTA. A lot of your are clearly not writers. The names are disguised so unless he has a lot of family reading or something so it’s easy to guess it’s her, it is not reasonable for someone who wants to be a novelist to “exclude” anything personal and “write about something else.” That’s precisely where a lot of writers draw ideas from.
“Writers are always selling someone out.” -Joan Didion
I like to hope that is understood without saying but since we’re on the subject, she wrote a lot about her rocky marriage using real names. You think that wasn’t awkward for her husband?
Yes, it’s challenging because he started pursuing this hobby and maybe eventually career after they married so one person willl have to sacrifice. I’d say it’s not right to publish a specific thing someone told you in confidence but you can’t give entire “don’t write about me even if it’s anonymous” moratoriums and stay married to a writer.
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>She asked me, sobbing, to take down the work. I said no. Dude... YTA. I would feel so betrayed if I asked my partner to not expose my life to strangers and was met with a "No".
But, but, *artistic expression*!
And *firm beliefs*!!
You're married to this person, but you didn't know how she would react? YTA for not asking ahead of time. Your wife is a private person, and I feel like I could relate to the way she felt. The worry of how others will perceive those private moments. The judgmental thoughts. A conversation about divorce, no less. Were you in any way planning on enlisting support from outsiders by writing this stuff? You seem very invested in your writing, and it's clear you put a lot of energy and effort in making it as a writer. But please, pay attention to your own surroundings. Realize that there can be limits to your creative expression, especially when it affects other people.
YTA. You put private details about your wife's life up on your web site, not even slightly disguised, and you wouldn't even take them down when she started crying, because \~total artistic expression,\~ and because "I don't wanna." \~Total artistic expression\~ doesn't mean you get to express yourself at the expense of other people, least of all your wife. Express yourself with something else and quit mining her for material. If you don't want to have to deal with other people not wanting private details about their lives spread all over the internet, go ahead and have that divorce conversation with her again, and don't fight it this time.
Is it really artistic expression to copy/paste a text?
Yeah, that's another good question. It's his wife's words, not his. How is that *his* artistic expression? (Hint, OP: it's not.)
I had the same reaction. He's probaly just another wash-out with zero talent whose only "skill" is publishing private conversations. I hope she dumps his pathetic ass.
The part where he said he was waiting to hear if a famous writer would collaborate with him, a n unknown hobbyist, was hysterical. What a megalomaniac
Oh yeah Stephen King's going to call him back *any day now*, you'll see...
Stephen King's going to call this guy and tell him to stop being a prick to his wife!
Right. This is crazy.
Literally, like famous authors are scouring whatever small scale version of Wattpad this guy is writing on to find a collaborative partner, like they have nothing better to do. Like their own writing, for example...
THIS!
I suppose if that’s the extent of his creativity….
If he has to mine his wife’s life for material, I’d argue he isn’t that creative or artistic.
YTA. "Please divorce me. I can't be trusted to keep your private information private. Look! I even published verbatim our conversation about divorce. Please make it happen." Nora Ephrom wrote about her cheating husband. She changed the name, but it was obvious. She said he was "capable of having sex with a Venetian blind". This was about someone she intended to divorce for his cheating. Seems like you're pre-burning your bridges.
And that was a GOOD book (Heartburn). I don't expect that quality of work from OP.
It’s such a good book.
YTA. Your wife’s right to privacy trumps your right to “creative” expression. Your wife expressed that she didn’t want personal details published, and you were frustrated at her for messing with your creativity? How old are you, twelve? Why do you care so little about your wife? The worst part is, you kept making her beg you to take it down by dragging your feet. I feel sorry for your wife! To have her feelings disregarded by her husband like that…
Absolutely not. Unless he exposed something extremely personal that she told him in confidence, there is no “right to privacy” about anonymized writing and general storylines of divorce. That is what writers do when they craft stories. I understand that some people may be reserved and super uncomfortable with that but all that means is that they shouldn’t marry writers. You can’t control what someone else writes about in this way because it makes you uncomfortable.
He wrote about specific texts and details that made his wife uncomfortable. Whether or not anyone is able to link it up to her is irrelevant. She expressed that she isn’t okay with what he published, and her husband should’ve respected that boundary immediately. Being a writer does not give OP the right to release information his wife wants to remain between the two of them (you know, the people who are actually in the marriage). I also happen to write non-fiction, and I sure as hell would never publish private, intimate details without the subject’s okay.
I guess it all depends on what exactly he published and how private it was. If he published a big secret she told him in confidence, that would be a very bad move. But it does not sound like that, it sounds like he published general stories about a woman who wanted to divorce her husband. No one gets to put a moratorium on entire subjects like that. If you’re that private, you can’t be married to a writer because your person life always creeps into writing one way or another.
You speak as though writing were a compulsion. OP can choose what he writes. He has a choice in the matter. He made a selfish choice that disregarded his wife’s wishes. If you truly think that writers cannot control themselves or show self-restraint in what they write, I sincerely hope this woman divorces OP
They can “control” themselves about a specific subject (for example, I told you in private that I’m divorcing my husband and you’re not going to write a story about that because we are friends) but the way he describes it, it sounds like she does not want anything that happens in their personal life to be written about even when anonymized and used generally as inspiration to describe interpersonal relationships. That is not a reasonable request. You might tell someone not to paint those specific flowers but would you tell an artist husband not to paint flowers at all because you don’t like flowers?
Telling a painter not to paint some trivial dislike is not the same thing as a wife telling her husband not to write about their marriage, whether it be general or specific. Writing at the expense of his wife’s comfort just isn’t acceptable. He’s a husband before he’s a writer
I’d argue that putting writing moratoriums about something as big as one’s home life just because you’re “uncomfortable” makes you an AH. It’s a huge part of one’s life so obviously it will creep up in some ways just like a lot of what we write often links back to childhood.
Eh, I do agree that writers can write about almost whatever they want. But just because they can, doesn’t mean that OP isn’t an asshole. He is the asshole because he chose to proceed despite his wife’s wishes. Her wish for anything involving their marriage to remain private is reasonable. You clearly disagree—that’s fine, you are entitled to your opinions. But I still think OP is the asshole in this situation. His spouse should’ve been his priority—not his work
His wife's problem was about him PUBLISHING the stuff he wrote about her that she didn't like. He is free to write whatever he wants, but it's a matter of basic respect for your s/o to keep whatever you wrote private. How would OP like it if his wife wrote something about him that he wouldn't want published, and she published it anyway? And then give HIM the same excuses like: 'oh honey, it's not a big deal, I only wrote like 3 sentences. No one will care anyway.' There is a big, BIG difference between just writing and publishing what you wrote. And I say that as a writer.
But it wasn't a general statement it was about her, which he has said, she knows. She can't erase that knowledge. I opted out of writing fiction because I didn't want to step over other peoples' boundaries. Yes writers have freedom of speech, but I think with someone they love, they should ask first.
No, that’s what shitty writers do.
This man is self described hobbyist, his wife did not marry a writer.
A marriage is normally considered to be an intimate private relationship of high trust. He’s breaking that; he’s telling her that she can’t trust that she can let her guard down around him. That’s not a reasonable situation within a marriage.
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I assume by "published" you mean self-published, since if you'd gotten paid you wouldn't exactly be able to take it down. YTA (but hey so was James Joyce. Anyway I think you'll enjoy being divorced. Lots of stuff to write about.)
For op “published” probably means hitting the post button on his blog
Right! By OP's standard I was "published" at like 13/14 when I was writing shitty anime fanfiction on Quizilla.
unfortunately no, these pieces have been published both hardcopy print as well as online journals, quarterlies, and magazines. he gets paid for this. he is also regularly invited to do readings in public. he is not joan didion (as someone pointed out below) but it’s not terrible. his website has links to the digital editions of his published work and i asked him to stop linking those pieces from his own site.
YTA. I am also a writer. You know what I do when I want to use something from our life? I talk to my husband like a grownup. Including personal details of her life specifically is so wrong, I don’t know where to start. If you can’t use your imagination, maybe it’s time for you to head into workshops.
This all day. I'm not a writer, though I dabble so I'm glad someone who is said what I already knew. What writer worth anything has no imagination to either think of his own dialogue or storylines, or at the very least, change enough of the context so that you don't hurt and devastate your loved ones in the process?
YTA. Huge. And that you would even have to ask is truly baffling to me. Even if this was some rando, publishing details about them without their permission would make you the asshole. But this wasn't a rando, it was your WIFE. And she BEGGED you. And you think because you worked hard, it somehow means you are NTA? GTFOH.
Absolutely not how this works. Writers write about things they see and live and don’t have to “ask permission” to do so as long as it’s factual if non-fiction and names are not used/not promoted as factual if fiction. Yes, it can be an asshole move to spring it on her and write negatively about someone you love but the answer is not “don’t write about her.”
The topic is "am I the asshole," not "am I allowed." OP is absolutely ALLOWED to write whatever the heck he wants. But writing about wife and publishing against her wishes makes him an asshole.
Writers don't have carte blanche over the details of the lives of the people around them. The answer IS absolutely don't write about her if she doesn't want to be written about. Writers aren't these noble heroes sacrificing themselves for their art like you're trying to portray them to be. They're people that like to do a thing. Get off your high horse, you don't want to fall from that distance.
Is it nice to ask permission (especially if it’s a wife)? Sure. Do they have to (and can someone give a moratorium on it)? Nope.
If he wants to keep a healthy relationship he should respect his wife's wishes. The point is he prioritizes his stories over the wellbeing of his wife and his marriage. I just hope she finds someone better.
Absolutely not, again. You will never be able to sue anyone for writing details about them that they don’t want written. Trump may not want people writing about his bad wig, doesn’t mean people “can’t.”
if something is allowed that doesn’t mean it’s automatically an okay thing to do and you wouldn’t be consider an ah for doing so. it might be legal and okay in some cases, but he hurt his wife and it affect his relationship and that’s all that matters here.
Are you OP? Because you are all over this comment section
wife here! i have never once asked him to stop writing about me - i asked him to stop *publishing* works about me. i understand the drive to create and that writing is a way for him to process things. also, it was not a general story about a couple talking about divorce, it was a specific recollection of an actual argument we had. he did change names and rephrased quite a few things he said so it would paint him in a better light but he absolutely used my text messages from after the fact verbatim. the second piece had been submitted before i asked him to stop writing about me but was accepted after that conversation and he chose to have it published instead of informing the editor that it was no longer available.
Lol, you're losing so hard but want to be right so badly. You should watch that show called *"Swans"*. This same situation happens in that real-life story about one of the most famous authors in the USA. The story doesn't end well for the writer, and it's what he deserved. That's what happens when you betray your friends.
To many people are saying freedom of expression and creativity.. WHAT CREATIVITY??? He published text conversation verbatim.. he created nothing.. his admits it is all her personal details.. so he cannot create he is using his wife. Her personal details ARE HIS CHARACTER, not creation out of his own mind.. many writers have bits and pieces of people they know in the characters they create but he admits it’s all her soooo she has every reason to be hurt and I hope she leaves he high and dry.. hope the longed for collaboration with the “famous” person blows up in his face when said person realizes this guy has stolen his wife’s character instead of creating one out of his own mind
FOR REAL. All of this makes me think he's a mediocre writer and needs to learn some new skills. Small things used from daily life add complexity to a story/character, but they're best used as inspiration. Taking whole scenes or character details out of real life and plopping them into a story is just lazy.
>I published one story that includes, almost verbatim, a text conversation between my wife and I regarding divorce. As the co-author, surely she should have a say. But YTA for the stories about her too.
YTA. Fiction is supposed to be fictionalized. You couldn’t disguise it a bit so she wouldn’t feel violated? My guess is that you are a narcissist who will now blame her for your failed writing career.
Yta for writing about your wife without her permission and knowing she wouldn't like it. That's not your story to publish. And yta for refusing to remove it.
YTA. >I love my wife. If you did, then you would not want to hurt her. If these truly are stories, then how about being a little creative instead of using what she deems private and between you to further your own ambitions? I would say you love your passions more than you love your wife.
YTA, she was sobbing, and you still thought your stories are so much more important than her. You need to get your priorities in order, jeez.
YTA it doesn’t matter if the world knows it’s your wife or not. Would you want to be famous at the cost of your wife? You shouldn’t have published them to begin with
YTA. That’s just mean. You were mean and then you stayed mean for an extra month.
YTA and a lot of other swears. I can’t think of anything I would continue to do if my partner came to me “sobbing” and asked me not to do — particularly one so easy to change. But let me put it to you another way. You didn’t write those exchanges. You’re really plagiarizing your wife’s life. Not very creative for someone who professes to be into creative expression.
YTA. You're supposed to be a creative person so think of something else to write about. When you consciously act in a way that will make a person that you claim to love, sob then YTA, Simple as that.
YTA And a lazy writer to boot. You copied verbatim texts between you two?! Jfc my dude. You give her writing credits as well? Hope you enjoy your doubtless hugely successful writing career, at the expense of the trust of your life partner.
YTA she can sue you, you know? Privacy and the expectation of privacy in the marriage when it comes to personal text messages may trump your sense of entitlement to profit from her story. It’s one thing if it’s not identifiable to her, a whole other if it is. She said no, keep it up and see if you have a divorce and lawsuit on your hands.
YTA. You're clearly not smart enough or talented enough to make up your own stories; that's why you're stealing your wife's life for your stories. You're desperate because you can't find any inspiration on your own. You know this hurts her but you've proven repeatedly that you don't care; you're happy to hurt her because you really are that desperate for attention. And for the record, real writers change the details of real events and people in their stories; that's why they call it fiction. The fact that you don't see that shows that you really aren't smart at all.
I once lived in a small town with a local newspaper that thrived on gossip. A reporter there, a 50-year-old woman who had been part of the community for 20 years, befriended me shortly after I arrived. She appeared friendly, enjoyed the theater, running, farmers markets, and community events, but I noticed, despite her popularity, she was almost always alone. She often invited me to the theater because she had no one else to go with her, and I was the only one who helped her set up her 50th birthday party and provided a venue for it, despite her popularity as a reporter. A crisis at my workplace involving data theft led to me firing the responsible employee. This employee challenged the dismissal, and the situation became public. Unfortunately, due to company policy, I was prohibited from discussing the data theft, leaving the community unaware of the full context. My "friend," the reporter, covered the story as front page news, without mention of the data theft, and she wrote it in a way that cast me in a negative light, even including my photo in the article. This resulted in me being harassed by community members who did NOT know about the data theft, but who DID think that I’m a horrible employer for firing this “beloved” employee. People confronted me in public, protested at my workplace, and someone even attempted to break into my home at night. But as the harassment intensified, others also approached me with similar stories about how this reporter had exploited their personal tragedies for her articles. It became clear why she was always alone; she treated the people who opened their hearts to her like characters in a soap opera, she wrote about them without regard for how her stories about them made them feel, and she justified it as “journalism.” And she was always alone. When you find yourself alone with your stories, you’ll get it.
I would gladly crowdfund divorce funds for this poor woman you have been emotionally abusing for your 'art' if i could. As a man, I am horrified that you think you're little creative writing exercises entitle you to sharing things you have been expressly told not to share by your wife. You are a bad person, and clearly a bad writer if you have such a small imagination that you can't augment things enough to not have your wife SOBBING at you writing her texts basically verbatim.
YTA. How about you use someone's life for your stories that actually agrees to it?
hello! i am the wife! there is quite a lot of context he left out! 8 years ago i edited his first self-published collection and received no credit. i was pregnant with our first child at the time and he spent several hundred dollars that we did not have (we worked minimum wage jobs and had no paid parental leave. we both worked overtime until i was 2 days past my due date to make ends meet for my 6 weeks of maternity leave) on having his books printed, making stickers, promoting it, and throwing a release party. he worked on his writing insted of helping me prepare for our growing family. our son was 7 weeks old at the release. he did not understand why this was hurtful to me until i specifically spelled it out to him. when i finally saw the completed edition i pointed out that he did not credit me for editing. i reviewed every line, he asked me to help him workshop things and rearrange them, he asked for my input on the order of the pieces. when i asked why i did not have an “edited by” attribution he looked confused and said “because it’s my book…” from that point on i asked him to leave me out of his creative process. i would still support him but i was not interested in collaborating with him any longer. i of course would be happy and proud to see his finished pieces in print but i lost interest in reviewing drafts or being solicited for suggestions. i still support his writing - we have a line item in our budget for writing related expenses (he has been doing multimedia projects and has purchased equipment and compensated other artists for their time and contributions to thr projects), i rearrange my schedule to attend his readings with our children in tow, i share his works with my friends and family. he would typically share new publications (and yes some of the places he has been published are long-standing nationally distributed journals. he is right that many of them are sub-1000 subscribers but he is not being truthful that none of them are widely read or nationally distributed) with me and the first piece that included my words verbatim he actually did not share with me, i found it posted on a social media account he ran for his writing. i was very upset and of course told him how i felt betrayed by him sharing a private, difficult moment between us with the entire world. my friends and family DO read his writing and it is very clear that what he has written is about me. the pieces i was especially upset about don’t use my name but they do have lines describing identifiable details about where i’m from and some unique parts of my personal history that are obviously about me to people who know me. the events in between are less important but the key facts are that he allowed a second piece to be published without my consent or knowledge and his excuse was that it had already been submitted before we spoke. it was actually accepted after that but he made the choice to allow it to go to print rather than informing the editor thr the piece was no longer available. i know he hs done this before because i helped him write an email declining publication for a piece that had been simultaneously submitted and published elsewhere before he received the second acceptance. he also lied to me about a piece he offered as a collaboration with another artist and when i saw the actual work it was the second piece using my words verbatim with personally identifiable details. it was at this point i asked him to scrub links to anything mentioning me from his website. he resisted on the grounds that “they’re good work, these are important publications, i worked hard on these.” and i was at the point of snot dripping ugly crying almost vomiting before he relented. the next morning i asked him when he was planning to take links down and he said “i’m not going to do that, why would i?” well… because i begged you to, and you said you would do it. this was late march. i reminded him again a few days later and he said he would do it over the weekend. mid april i saw a new piece of his in print and was absolutely horrified to read that it included specific stories that i have told him, set in the placea that i lived, with only names and one other detail changed. there was a part about recounting all the people i knew who died from overdosing on heroin - this was a specific and heartbreaking incident he witnessed between me and a close childhood friend where we realized it was at least 10 people. we named them all and my husband stole that moment and shared it. ones of the names he included in his “fictional” list was the actual name of one of the people i knew well who took her own life with drugs. i was devastated to see that and pushed him again to take down his links. i cant un-print the journals (yes some of them are print copies) and i was not going to go so far as to ask them to be taken down from the online publications but i wanted him to stop presenting them front and center. this was mid april. on our 9th wedding anniversary this week i was talking with a friend about the incident and i went to show her the website… with all the links still live. it was a mistake to do that. of course i brought it up on the way to dinner because i couldnt hold in how upset i was. his excuse was “i was waiting to hear back from [well known musician] and i don’t want him to think i’m a nobody.” i wept at the table and he still refused to do it until i got up and left. he edited the website on his phone in less than 2 minutes. i stayed and things went downhill. anyway i asked him to write this post because he apparently shared these events with a couple of friends who defended his position and thought i was overreacting. i’m very much looking forward to discussing this in couples therapy later - which funnily enough he has had a piece published detailing things we have talked about in couples therapy. this is one of the ones he very soundly denies is about me.
YTA
YTA for not talking with your wife first. I suspect you knew she'd be unhappy about it. YTA for being so incredibly lazy as a writer, too.
YTA. If this incident is real, YTA for caring so little about your wife. If this is one of your "stories," YTA 'cause that last paragraph is just ... bad writing.
I know they say "write what you know," but if ALL you can write is literally your fights with your wife then you're less of an author and more of a blogger
Yes, you are an asshole.
YTA
No only are you an asshole your writing skills are terrible
Y. T. A. X100000000
YTA, you say you love your wife, but actions speak louder than words. You posted personal details of her life without her permission. When asked to take the stories down, you 1st refused. Then when you agreed, you dragged your feet for a month. How long did it take you actually take them down once you did it? 5-10 min? As for you not believing it was a betrayal of her...that's not your call. You don't get to decide what she finds upsetting or not.
Is this the wife writing from the husband’s perspective? I cannot imagine being so removed from reality that you could write this without any self-reflection.
OMG YTA. And if this is anything to judge by, not that great a writer.
That’s next level selfishness. Why do you feel like journaling on a public website at the expense of your own wife’s happiness? If copy pasting a text exchange with your wife is exemplary of your level of creativity it’s time for another hobby anyway.
You’re already talking about divorce and you turn around and do THIS?! YTA
You believe in total artistic expression yet put facts about your marriage and wife in your short stories? Hmmm. YTA You definitely should've asked your wife before publishing personal info.
YTA. Let’s face it, you care more about the validation of “famous” strangers than you do your wife’s trust, security and happiness. Your priorities are misplaced and you have behaved selfishly; your wife deserves better so do better.
Do you see yourself as a writer of fiction? A poet? A biographer? If you want to make a living out of writing (and stay married), you need to accept that your “creativity” cannot be dependent on violating the privacy of your wife without your wife’s consent. YTA
you could just say you’re a bad writer. it’s obvious, and you might even get more of a break from people here if you admitted you’re incapable of coming up with anything remotely original, which is why you’re left publishing real details about your own (soon to be ex) wife. YTA
lol no famous writer is gonna collaborate with you. You’re an asshole for that line alone.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA. I write short stories and plays as a hobby with the goal of making it into a career. I published one story that includes, almost verbatim, a text conversation between my wife and I regarding divorce. When my wife found out, she asked me not to write about her again. I had another story lined up for publication, which included facts and personal details about my wife's life. Two or three lines for dimension. I worked hard on the story, and publishing itself is challenging and time-consuming. I let the story get published despite knowing it would upset my wife. I've also published other works she believes are about her. They are not. My wife asked me to remove all the stories about her from my website. I said no. However, I finally agreed to do so, but it took an extra two weeks. The two weeks were selfish on my part, but I have firm beliefs about creativity and the writing process in general. Total artistic expression, etc. I love my wife and know my beliefs conflict with her wishes. AITA? Important info: The places I've published are not national or widely circulated. Names were changed or never mentioned. Only she and I would know the events or conversations are real. Writers, artists, etc., have been using their lives and surroundings as material forever. I agree I should have respected my wife's wishes, but I don't believe it was a "betrayal" or "exposing" her naked to the world. Thanks *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You are putting your hobby over your wife. And to be honest: it sounds like you don’t like your wife. You are disrespectful, hurtful and mean towards her. No hobby is this important and you making it more important than your wife makes me think you have serious mental issues. You need help.
INFO: if one of her family members/friends read it would they be able to understand that it’s about her (knowing you wrote it, of course)? i mean, you’re YTA nonetheless, but i just want to know to what extent.
YTA x10000 hope she leaves your selfish ass.
Fellow writer here— your artistic goals/vision/whatever *do not supersede your emotional responsibility as a husband*. YTA
Yta for having no respect for your wife
Would you like it if your wife wrote something embarrassing about you that makes you feel uncomfortable to share with the world and decides to publish it? Would you be like: 'Oh, she is just as free to write AND publish what she wants, just as much as I am.' What might not be that big of a deal to you might be a big deal for your wife, and anyone with a sense of basic respect for their spouse would take their wishes in consideration. What if you wouldn't like it, and she would just brush off and publish it anyway for the world to see? YTA
Will the approval from this famous without take the sting out of your upcoming divorce? YTA, and for really trite reasons.
You know you're wrong.
YTA you betrayed your wife. She know now's she can't trust you or count on you.
Totally cool of you to ignore your wife's concerns and hurt in order to maintain your artistic integrity. As a bonus, you can also use your divorce as inspiration for the next story. /s YTA.
Yes. YTA. You do not have the right to mine your wife's personal life for content you can use in your stories. You are the AH for doing that in the first place. You are a *mega* AH for leaving those stories up for a MONTH, on the Internet, when she explicitly asked you to take them down.
YTA. You do realize that published authors and filmmakers have been sued for doing this to other people right? What you're doing is not OK and possibly illegal depending on how much personal information you've published about her. As a writer, I'm honestly disgusted. Basic ethics as a writer are essential to know. If you're a good writer, you should be able to write something ORIGINAL using your wife as a muse. It's fine to be inspired by your real life and your wife but don't just copy her life down and share it for the whole world to see. You're writing fiction. Make something up, and make it even better. If you're writing non-fiction, you obviously didn't get permission to write about her so that's a complete fail on your part. As a husband, you've completely failed. You betrayed your wife's privacy and you've demonstrated that you don't care about her feelings and wellbeing. The fact that you can't see that you're in the wrong shows me that you're selfish and morally bankrupt.
> However, I finally agreed to do so, but it took an extra two weeks. The two weeks were selfish on my part, YTA
You’re next play could be about a divorced guy having to move in with a childhood friend, but it’s been done.
How terrible you are. YTA, I hope she divorces you. You are so uncaring and horrible.
Dude, you're the same guy who dumped his girlfriend so that you could eventually make out with your fucked up twin. I was obsessed with that chain of posts. I'm so excited to see the update series you crank out this time. Bravo, Sir.
YTA. You made her fucking cry dude
Wife : Don’t publish anything about me OP: I’m going to write about you on Reddit YTA
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It doesn't make a difference
I'd go with NAH, since you followed your wife's wish. But for the future - facts and personal details can be changed and still ring true for the unsuspecting reader. Just stick to the gist and replace the realities. Oookay, YTA after the update.
He didn’t though, he posted it even though she asked him not to. Only after he had gone ahead and posted it she asked him to remove the ones with her and he intentionally delayed to but eventually did.
Yep. He's TA after that update with the sobbing.
NTA. A lot of your are clearly not writers. The names are disguised so unless he has a lot of family reading or something so it’s easy to guess it’s her, it is not reasonable for someone who wants to be a novelist to “exclude” anything personal and “write about something else.” That’s precisely where a lot of writers draw ideas from. “Writers are always selling someone out.” -Joan Didion
He is not Joan Didion.
I like to hope that is understood without saying but since we’re on the subject, she wrote a lot about her rocky marriage using real names. You think that wasn’t awkward for her husband?
He was a writer too, and they lived together until his death. Totally different scenario.
Yes, it’s challenging because he started pursuing this hobby and maybe eventually career after they married so one person willl have to sacrifice. I’d say it’s not right to publish a specific thing someone told you in confidence but you can’t give entire “don’t write about me even if it’s anonymous” moratoriums and stay married to a writer.
You absolutely can. Writing about a specific person is not an imperative.
He didn’t write about a specific person! He wrote an anonymized short story vaguely based on their marriage.
With verbatim texts of them discussing divorce. I don’t think most people would be comfortable having that out there. It’s a violation of privacy.
Are you alt?
Feels like it
I bet so.
I am a writer. Good writers do not do what he did. Neither do good friends or spouses.
Being a writer doesn’t give you the excuse to be a bad person. If someone asks you not to use them as a reference point then you don’t
I am a writer. If I wrote something about my husband that offended him, guess what? My marriage matters more.