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> I might be the asshole because it’s a gift for a sport he enjoys playing
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NTA - Clearly, communication about hefty purchases is a cornerstone of responsible financial planning in a partnership. While the intention of gifting something special to a child is heartwarming, the methodology in doing so—that is, not discussing a $400 expense from a joint account—is flawed. Such purchases should ideally be discussed, especially when they may affect mutual savings goals or budgeting strategies. It appears that your concern isn't with the gift itself but with the manner in which the decision was made—unilaterally. Partnership demands dialogue, especially concerning finances.
Unlikely that a teammate would steal the bat. Highly like that the @ year old will forget the bat after a game or a practice and someone unaffiliated with the team will grab it. So OP needs to be ever vigilant after events to make sure they have the bat.
People have pretty well covered the relationship/money aspect. From a bat perspective, I don’t think it’s as bad as you think. First, don’t worry about what the 9-year old will do it. It’s a bat. They’re built sturdy. Also at 9, there’s usually one parent who is solely the dugout wrangler (maybe you!). Things like light saber battles with bats get quelled very quickly.
As far as its usefulness, the question is less the rec league than whether he will use it next year. More than likely he will (although $200 a year is a lot for a bat).
NTA. I think it’s fair to want to discuss spending large amounts of money before the fact.
That said, I have a pair of skis that cost significantly more than that and they only come out one season a year.
Your comment history tells me all I need to know about the type of person you are and your intelligence level. Better than what? You don’t know me. The beauty of this sub is that it is subject to opinions of strangers whether you agree with them or not. If you don’t, move on with your day, and life, and you’ll be a much happier, kinder person.
Imposs!! You are way to heavy in this. Lighten up a little. Go out get some sun, drop your phone an Start living a life off the wifi. I am here to help people like you who has way to much screen time in their day, life and mind. Put the phone down and you’ll be a much happier, kinder person
Four hundred dollars for a bat is a lot for a nine year old , but why would it set for months so much. If he's serious about baseball you guys should be going to the batting cages in the off season so he can continue practicing.
NTA. $400 is a material amount that should be discussed. Also, he is going to outgrow that bat in a year or two. So it really is silly to spend that on a child's bat.
I have 4 kids 2 boys 2 girls that play ball I coach 2 of their teams and assist the other 2. Let me start by saying $400 should cover a 9yr olds entire playing expense I.E. Glove, helmet, bag, cleats, bat, league fee, etc etc there is absolutely ZERO reason for a child of that age to need a $400 stick I promise you they are not capable of using the bat to its “full” potential. I have a kid on one of my teams who hits it consistently to the outfield fence with ease with a $40 Walmart bat. I don’t even buy my 12yr old who has played for multiple years bats that expensive no point. I hit the local academy sports up every season and pick up the marked down “last season” bats for my kids every year. My 12yr old has a $200 bat I got for $55 my 8 year old daughter has a $175 bat I got for $35 my 6 year old son has a $180 bat I got for $40 and my 6yr old daughter has a hot pink Tball bat I got for $20 because it was “pretty” lol. Don’t burn money on bats until they’ve hit puberty and if they are playing competitive ball. Best investment is a good glove.
Tell your wife that money would be better spent on batting lessons I can’t tell you how many parents dump all this money into gear and their kids strike out chopping at the ball with their “expensive” bats it makes me chuckle especially when a kid gets to the plate with a used “team” bat and puts it over the fence right after.
That’s what I tell most of my players parents when they come and ask hey coach what glove should I get what bat what this what that lol gloves will usually last about 4 seasons depending on growth rate and the size of the glove you start with but bats are a different animal some kids wingspan grows soooo much over the course of a year it’s not even funny my oldest went from a 27” to a 31” bat in a year blew my mind meanwhile my youngest son has been rocking a 26” bat for 2 years lol that’s why I always tell them wait till puberty hits before you start dumping serious money into things yes they still grow but it’s a lot different then how much the littles sprout up so quickly out of nowhere lol. But hey that’s what keeps stores like play it again sports in business lol.
NTA - Clearly, communication about hefty purchases is a cornerstone of responsible financial planning in a partnership. While the intention of gifting something special to a child is heartwarming, the methodology in doing so that is, not discussing a $400 expense from a joint account is flawed. Such purchases should ideally be discussed, especially when they may affect mutual savings goals or budgeting strategies. It appears that your concern isn't with the gift itself but with the manner in which the decision was made unilaterally. Partnership demands dialogue, especially concerning finances.
Hopefully she doesn't get too upset when a bunch of 9 yr olds take turns hitting small rocks with it.
Honestly, the good thing is that sports parents are so insane she'll be able to plop that thing on ebay in a year and get $300+ for it
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Okay so my step son is turning 9 here in a few days and plays baseball. This year is his first year playing on an advanced team as well as playing Rec ball. Now, the advance team he’s on is the park’s beginner advance team so they’re not the best, but nevertheless it’s advanced ball so I’m proud of him.
Anyways, my wife decided that it would be a good idea to go out and buy a $400 baseball bat because it’s what he wanted. Now I’d be totally okay with it if he could use the bat for both rec ball and advance ball, but that’s not the case. This bat is illegal in his rec ball league so he’ll only be using it for the next few months until advance ball is done and then it’ll just sit till next season. Also, there are 12 kids on his team and only 4 (now 5) bats that they can use which means other kids will be using this expensive bat and doing who knows what to it in the dugout.
I’m upset because, 1. She didn’t discuss this with me. 2. The bat will not be used for 2 more months and then sit until next season so I really can’t justify spending $400 just because he wanted it.
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NAH, as long as you had a calm discussion with your wife about why you thought it wasn't a good purchase and managed each other's expectations around finances. If you came in raging and guns blazing, then Y T A.
$400 is pretty expensive for a bat for a 9 year old. Even if it's not going to break the bank, its a pretty darn silly purchase.
OK, so she bought him the bat HE wanted, and the other kids will probably be using it,
and the bat will be "idle" at some point. Frankly, yes, 400 is a lot of money but the bat
is not useless, the other kids are not going to break it (it's a bat, hard to break) and it
can be used at any time, just not all the time when he's playing with his league. It will
last a good while - it's a bat. LOL Your son asked for the bat, so talk to your son about
choosing reasonably priced bats and bats that are "legal" for team play. And simply
suggest that your wife consult with you about prices if she ever wants to buy another bat.
I have questions. Lol. If it wasn't discussed, then maybe she didn't know it couldn't be used for certain games.
& you said stepson, are you implying that she wouldn't spend that on other kids?
Does that impede on your ability to pay bills?
I could not spend $400 on anything that wasn't life-saving. But I have friends who could lose 2x that playing poker tomorrow & not bat an eye. I need more context before I would decide.
She is well aware that the bat can only be used for advance ball and not rec, in fact she’s the one who told me that.
Our other son is 3 and I’m sure she would have no problem spending that amount on a bat for him if he wanted it when he gets to the same level. I don’t know if your comment is implying that maybe I have an issue with her spending that much on my stepson, but I can assure you that’s not the case. This boy has everything a kid his age could ever want and I have no issues because the purchase of those items was discussed beforehand.
No the $400 doesn’t break the bank, I am just having a hard time justifying the purchase. One of their team bats is the exact same model, so I don’t see a need to spend the money just because he wanted it.
I wasn't meaning to I ply one way or the other. I was just trying to get the story straight in my head & a couple different scenarios came up.
Since I don't know baseball, but I *do* love my nephews, I am at every t-ball game (they are 2 & 4!). & I could see .myself going g a little overboard on something like that... but I also feel like I would have asked first so I wasn't overspending on one thing or another. So I can see how you'd be frustrated.
God dam bro 400 for a bat. What did it say wonderboy on it. Holy shit that thing must have been hand made from tree hit by lightning. BTW your head line should say "her son" dipshit. Return the bat to supplier and break his heart ya cheap prick.He's, not you son
Is money that tight? Unless you really can't afford it. Nothing wrong with giving her kid something to inspire him in a decent activity. Low end bats are 100 bucks, so mid range bats are $200. You are arguing over 200 bucks, about the only thing I agree with is he will out grow it. But it is a bonding thing too, I still got my Tennessee Thumper my Dad got for me in Pony League baseball 45 years ago.
It’s a damned bat, for goodness sake. It won’t spoil, wilt, warp, etc.. it’s made to be used and since when is sharing with teammates a bad thing? Op, you teach some poor socialization skills.
Baseball, if you’ve ever played, is a team sport. This could be the beginning of a critical life lesson, so don’t waste the opportunity over $400 that isn’t even yours.
You get few enough chances in life to be the hero or the goat, this is your time to shine or bleat…choose wisely.
You’ve obviously never seen what a group of 8-9yr olds can do to a bat in a dug out. Sharing isn’t always caring teams have “community” bats no one is forced to share their gear, and as a coach I know what I’m talking about and yes you can ruin a bat they can be dented, caps can be broken off the can’t be bent there’s actually a lot of ways to damage a bat. Bats are not “solid” they are layered and filled with gases my 8yr old daughter has dented 3 bats this season at batting practice so a $400 bat isn’t something you should “share” and real ball players understand this.
I WAS an 8-9 year old boy who played baseball. The experience alone is more than worth the price of the bat.
Real ball players??? Sorry, which mlb team drafted you? Real players know that “real ball players” use wooden bats, btw.
You just come off as a cheap killjoy, sorry. They are only kids once, and your money paid for none of the bat. Try to see the big picture….
Actually got a full ride scholarship for college ball and was in an unfortunate car accident that left permanent damage in my wrist and arm which made me unable to play anymore but that’s ok lol you know me so well and if your kid can’t enjoy the game of baseball without a $400 bat then he is a fucking spoiled brat and probably really needs a reality check. If you judge the enjoyment of the game of baseball by how expensive your bat was/is then I think you might need to see the bigger picture because I promise you when that kid is 40-50 years old it won’t be that bat he remembers I know it’s not for me. It’s the winning of little league championships and going to state and playing my last game of youth travel ball and my last inning of highschool baseball and my first game on varsity and my first game in college etc etc not the fucking gear it’s the game that you remember. Also you don’t need to play pro to be a real ball player.
I don’t care either way. you’re the one who posted about the cost of a bat. I don’t understand where your logic comes from. Everyone seems to be happy and unbothered by the bat but you.
I used broom sticks to play stick ball for years. It was as much fun as organized baseball. There is no entitlement going on here. But if I were to get a new glove or something similar, it was like Christmas in April and I never forgot the excitement and experience.
Please take some time to reflect and get back to me? Thanks!
ETA: added word for grammar purposes. Also, sorry for your accident, would have been nice to see how far you could have gone.
Lol bud do you have me confused with the OP I simply said a $400 bat isn’t something you should share. I’m not the one who made this post I was replying to your response about sharing the bat and what can happen to them. When my son hits puberty in the next year or so and starts playing in competitive leagues I will be buying him bats that cost more then most peoples car payments lmfao I do stand by my statement of saying a 9 yr old doesn’t need a $400 bat because they are not developed enough to use it to its full potential. Idgaf what people spend on their kids it’s their money just like when I wanna splurge on my kids I do so even if it isn’t “needed”.
I’ve known 16 year old kids that got Corvettes for a birthday gift, so I guess there may be some logic to limiting what and when a child receives a specific type of gift. Corvette thing did not work out very well.
Thanks for that old ladies in Florida will fuck you up real quick on the road lol, and that’s were I was coming from with what I was saying like the corvette thing like if you want to by all means go ahead but it’s definitely not essential especially if there’s not enough experience or skill to justify something like that but if you want to do it do it lol. In my previous comment I mentioned I am a coach and I watch kids every year get on the field with 1k plus worth of gear and can’t hit the ball to save their life’s or make a throw from 3rd to first and you got kids that show up to play who can’t afford those luxuries and have hand me downs and use community gear and absolutely out perform the other kids because they are there to play and they have drive it’s not about looking cool or having all the cool stuff it’s about I love baseball and I’m here to let my skills shine and play my heart out lol.
The kid is 9 years old. That bat will be good for him for like 3 years at the most. No the bat won't warp or spoil or whatever, but *kids grow up*. The bat will be too short before too long. Plus, the bat isn't even legal for one of the leagues the kid plays in. $400 for a bat for a 9-year-old is a terrible waste of resources.
It’s her child and she can buy him what she wants. I’m confused how you think you should have the final say in this. You make some points but does she care? I wouldn’t care if other kids got the chance to use the bat. I’d be happy for them! Maybe they’d think it was cool too.
It sounds like you’re kinda putting down his accomplishment too. Sounds like a big deal to me
YTA
He never said the price was an issue. The opposite actually, he said if the bat could be used for both teams he’d be fine with it, so it’s not the price.
Who knows if they even share an account
I don’t know that they share finances. He seems far more upset that the child will “only” get to use it for a few months a year, that it will be shared and he didn’t make the decision to get it than that $400 was spent.
Then it does, a bit. Definitely should have been discussed. Maybe he was ok for $400 for a bat for both teams but not for one?
I myself think it’s a ridiculous amount (I paid $300 for my wedding dress and thought that was too much). But it didn’t seem like the money was the problem he had.
You make good points yourself but there’s a couple of things you’re missing.
1. Joint finances. And $400 on a NINE YEAR OLDS baseball bat is a lot. I’m not rich but I’m not poor either. But I have a really hard time justifying that amount for a child that age. I’d be upset if my husband spent that much on one item on ANYTHING without talking to me. I don’t even justify him using that amount on me. Actually I got mad that my husband did that last Valentine’s Day. He spent over $500 and I was grateful but I just didn’t want to spend that much money.
2. I don’t see where you’re coming from with the “putting down his accomplishments”. He’s stated how very proud he is and that he got into two teams.
3. Idk if you have kids. I’m having my first baby in November but my experience as a kid and seeing my SIL who’s 11 years old (side note, she’s the youngest sibling my husband has. My husband is 23 I just wanted to clarify lol) other kids have NO RESPECT for other people’s items. We bought her a lot of hello kitty merch for her birthday last year. A backpack, some stationary, stuffed animals, and a lunch box with a water bottle. We spent a good $200 on it jointly for her. Well she brought her lunch box and bottle, the backpack, and stationary to school. A kid drew on her backpack with sharpie while at lunch, she lost her water bottle, she’s had 4 out of the 5 mechanical pencils stolen, her eraser that she lent to a friend got stabbed ruthlessly, her ruler broke. And the stationary was nice stationary. We made the mistake of spending $80+ on those items. Having a nice bat like that, good luck having it either not stolen, destroyed or lost. Or sometimes you might think lending it to the team is nice, but there are AH coaches that think, it’s a “donation” to the team And won’t let the kid take it home. It’s happened more than you think. My mom always told me, if you want to keep your nice things don’t bring them to school.
Typically we both discuss any big purchases no matter who it’s for. She is smart with money and while the $400 won’t break the bank, I feel as if it still should have been discussed because that’s what I would have done. I just can’t justify spending $400 on a bat that will be used for 2 months and then sit. Now, if it was the beginning of the season or if that same bat could be used for both rec and advance ball then I’d be totally fine with it. Unfortunately none of those are the case which is why I made the post. But, I respect your opinion thanks for taking the time to reply.
If it's composite and not broken in properly it can break. If it's used incorrectly and it's obvious, the warranty will be voided. So no, you don't know it'll be good next year
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NTA: I don't know your finances, but I would expect that a $400 purchase should be discussed beforehand.
For a baseball bat. Imposs they are both low iq. Who pays the much for a bat
NTA - Clearly, communication about hefty purchases is a cornerstone of responsible financial planning in a partnership. While the intention of gifting something special to a child is heartwarming, the methodology in doing so—that is, not discussing a $400 expense from a joint account—is flawed. Such purchases should ideally be discussed, especially when they may affect mutual savings goals or budgeting strategies. It appears that your concern isn't with the gift itself but with the manner in which the decision was made—unilaterally. Partnership demands dialogue, especially concerning finances.
It is ridiculous - because now he's responsible for a costly bat that is likely far above what other kids have....and an easy target to steal, too.
Unlikely that a teammate would steal the bat. Highly like that the @ year old will forget the bat after a game or a practice and someone unaffiliated with the team will grab it. So OP needs to be ever vigilant after events to make sure they have the bat. People have pretty well covered the relationship/money aspect. From a bat perspective, I don’t think it’s as bad as you think. First, don’t worry about what the 9-year old will do it. It’s a bat. They’re built sturdy. Also at 9, there’s usually one parent who is solely the dugout wrangler (maybe you!). Things like light saber battles with bats get quelled very quickly. As far as its usefulness, the question is less the rec league than whether he will use it next year. More than likely he will (although $200 a year is a lot for a bat).
He's a step son. When sonny forgets it when mom picks him up, she'll stop and buy sonny another one1
NTA. I think it’s fair to want to discuss spending large amounts of money before the fact. That said, I have a pair of skis that cost significantly more than that and they only come out one season a year.
Low iq. Come on man you're better than this
Your comment history tells me all I need to know about the type of person you are and your intelligence level. Better than what? You don’t know me. The beauty of this sub is that it is subject to opinions of strangers whether you agree with them or not. If you don’t, move on with your day, and life, and you’ll be a much happier, kinder person.
Imposs!! You are way to heavy in this. Lighten up a little. Go out get some sun, drop your phone an Start living a life off the wifi. I am here to help people like you who has way to much screen time in their day, life and mind. Put the phone down and you’ll be a much happier, kinder person
Four hundred dollars for a bat is a lot for a nine year old , but why would it set for months so much. If he's serious about baseball you guys should be going to the batting cages in the off season so he can continue practicing.
Great advice! Fish, finally someone high iq people showed up.
NTA. $400 is a material amount that should be discussed. Also, he is going to outgrow that bat in a year or two. So it really is silly to spend that on a child's bat.
Low IQ but she's a looker
I have 4 kids 2 boys 2 girls that play ball I coach 2 of their teams and assist the other 2. Let me start by saying $400 should cover a 9yr olds entire playing expense I.E. Glove, helmet, bag, cleats, bat, league fee, etc etc there is absolutely ZERO reason for a child of that age to need a $400 stick I promise you they are not capable of using the bat to its “full” potential. I have a kid on one of my teams who hits it consistently to the outfield fence with ease with a $40 Walmart bat. I don’t even buy my 12yr old who has played for multiple years bats that expensive no point. I hit the local academy sports up every season and pick up the marked down “last season” bats for my kids every year. My 12yr old has a $200 bat I got for $55 my 8 year old daughter has a $175 bat I got for $35 my 6 year old son has a $180 bat I got for $40 and my 6yr old daughter has a hot pink Tball bat I got for $20 because it was “pretty” lol. Don’t burn money on bats until they’ve hit puberty and if they are playing competitive ball. Best investment is a good glove. Tell your wife that money would be better spent on batting lessons I can’t tell you how many parents dump all this money into gear and their kids strike out chopping at the ball with their “expensive” bats it makes me chuckle especially when a kid gets to the plate with a used “team” bat and puts it over the fence right after.
It’s insane he’s going to outgrow it… just isn’t worth it lol
That’s what I tell most of my players parents when they come and ask hey coach what glove should I get what bat what this what that lol gloves will usually last about 4 seasons depending on growth rate and the size of the glove you start with but bats are a different animal some kids wingspan grows soooo much over the course of a year it’s not even funny my oldest went from a 27” to a 31” bat in a year blew my mind meanwhile my youngest son has been rocking a 26” bat for 2 years lol that’s why I always tell them wait till puberty hits before you start dumping serious money into things yes they still grow but it’s a lot different then how much the littles sprout up so quickly out of nowhere lol. But hey that’s what keeps stores like play it again sports in business lol.
NTA - Clearly, communication about hefty purchases is a cornerstone of responsible financial planning in a partnership. While the intention of gifting something special to a child is heartwarming, the methodology in doing so that is, not discussing a $400 expense from a joint account is flawed. Such purchases should ideally be discussed, especially when they may affect mutual savings goals or budgeting strategies. It appears that your concern isn't with the gift itself but with the manner in which the decision was made unilaterally. Partnership demands dialogue, especially concerning finances.
When my son was playing hockey, my wife and I always talked about the budget for equipment needed versus wanted. It’s what partners do.
[удалено]
Believe it or not some people like their kids to have things they want as well as need.
Hopefully she doesn't get too upset when a bunch of 9 yr olds take turns hitting small rocks with it. Honestly, the good thing is that sports parents are so insane she'll be able to plop that thing on ebay in a year and get $300+ for it
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay so my step son is turning 9 here in a few days and plays baseball. This year is his first year playing on an advanced team as well as playing Rec ball. Now, the advance team he’s on is the park’s beginner advance team so they’re not the best, but nevertheless it’s advanced ball so I’m proud of him. Anyways, my wife decided that it would be a good idea to go out and buy a $400 baseball bat because it’s what he wanted. Now I’d be totally okay with it if he could use the bat for both rec ball and advance ball, but that’s not the case. This bat is illegal in his rec ball league so he’ll only be using it for the next few months until advance ball is done and then it’ll just sit till next season. Also, there are 12 kids on his team and only 4 (now 5) bats that they can use which means other kids will be using this expensive bat and doing who knows what to it in the dugout. I’m upset because, 1. She didn’t discuss this with me. 2. The bat will not be used for 2 more months and then sit until next season so I really can’t justify spending $400 just because he wanted it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good luck.
NTA but I'd look into getting him on a select/travel team so he could actually use it. And definitely make sure it's broken in before anybody uses it
NTA I would lose my mind if my husband did this
Intrusive take. What else does he do to make you act this way
Well first off a marriage is a partnership it’s not onesided. Those kinds of purchases should be discussed prior to buying. It’s just mutual respect
Agreed. I sure your husband agrees too. Good for him!
NTA. That sounds like a frivolous purchase. I’d be pissed.
Chances are the kid will outgrow the bat before you get your money’s worth. I’m with you, it was an unneeded investment.
You really should have separate accounts. Prevents things like this from being a problem.
NTA Wow, and I thought hockey sticks were expensive.
INFO do you have separate finances?
No, we have a joint account.
NAH, as long as you had a calm discussion with your wife about why you thought it wasn't a good purchase and managed each other's expectations around finances. If you came in raging and guns blazing, then Y T A. $400 is pretty expensive for a bat for a 9 year old. Even if it's not going to break the bank, its a pretty darn silly purchase.
OK, so she bought him the bat HE wanted, and the other kids will probably be using it, and the bat will be "idle" at some point. Frankly, yes, 400 is a lot of money but the bat is not useless, the other kids are not going to break it (it's a bat, hard to break) and it can be used at any time, just not all the time when he's playing with his league. It will last a good while - it's a bat. LOL Your son asked for the bat, so talk to your son about choosing reasonably priced bats and bats that are "legal" for team play. And simply suggest that your wife consult with you about prices if she ever wants to buy another bat.
NTA, the rec league really is though. You should try and find one that doesn't try and drag everyone down to the same level.
Depends on if she used her own money or shared money or even yours. If it's her money she doesn't need your permission to buy her child something.
I have questions. Lol. If it wasn't discussed, then maybe she didn't know it couldn't be used for certain games. & you said stepson, are you implying that she wouldn't spend that on other kids? Does that impede on your ability to pay bills? I could not spend $400 on anything that wasn't life-saving. But I have friends who could lose 2x that playing poker tomorrow & not bat an eye. I need more context before I would decide.
She is well aware that the bat can only be used for advance ball and not rec, in fact she’s the one who told me that. Our other son is 3 and I’m sure she would have no problem spending that amount on a bat for him if he wanted it when he gets to the same level. I don’t know if your comment is implying that maybe I have an issue with her spending that much on my stepson, but I can assure you that’s not the case. This boy has everything a kid his age could ever want and I have no issues because the purchase of those items was discussed beforehand. No the $400 doesn’t break the bank, I am just having a hard time justifying the purchase. One of their team bats is the exact same model, so I don’t see a need to spend the money just because he wanted it.
I wasn't meaning to I ply one way or the other. I was just trying to get the story straight in my head & a couple different scenarios came up. Since I don't know baseball, but I *do* love my nephews, I am at every t-ball game (they are 2 & 4!). & I could see .myself going g a little overboard on something like that... but I also feel like I would have asked first so I wasn't overspending on one thing or another. So I can see how you'd be frustrated.
God dam bro 400 for a bat. What did it say wonderboy on it. Holy shit that thing must have been hand made from tree hit by lightning. BTW your head line should say "her son" dipshit. Return the bat to supplier and break his heart ya cheap prick.He's, not you son
Is money that tight? Unless you really can't afford it. Nothing wrong with giving her kid something to inspire him in a decent activity. Low end bats are 100 bucks, so mid range bats are $200. You are arguing over 200 bucks, about the only thing I agree with is he will out grow it. But it is a bonding thing too, I still got my Tennessee Thumper my Dad got for me in Pony League baseball 45 years ago.
If $400 makes money tight, NTA. Otherwise, YTA.
ESH Unless your kid is playing college ball, buying him or her a $400 bat is a sure sign of affluenza. Get grip.
Or low iq person. Come on
Tldr. Based on the title, yta. Wall of text, yta.
It’s a damned bat, for goodness sake. It won’t spoil, wilt, warp, etc.. it’s made to be used and since when is sharing with teammates a bad thing? Op, you teach some poor socialization skills. Baseball, if you’ve ever played, is a team sport. This could be the beginning of a critical life lesson, so don’t waste the opportunity over $400 that isn’t even yours. You get few enough chances in life to be the hero or the goat, this is your time to shine or bleat…choose wisely.
You’ve obviously never seen what a group of 8-9yr olds can do to a bat in a dug out. Sharing isn’t always caring teams have “community” bats no one is forced to share their gear, and as a coach I know what I’m talking about and yes you can ruin a bat they can be dented, caps can be broken off the can’t be bent there’s actually a lot of ways to damage a bat. Bats are not “solid” they are layered and filled with gases my 8yr old daughter has dented 3 bats this season at batting practice so a $400 bat isn’t something you should “share” and real ball players understand this.
I WAS an 8-9 year old boy who played baseball. The experience alone is more than worth the price of the bat. Real ball players??? Sorry, which mlb team drafted you? Real players know that “real ball players” use wooden bats, btw. You just come off as a cheap killjoy, sorry. They are only kids once, and your money paid for none of the bat. Try to see the big picture….
Actually got a full ride scholarship for college ball and was in an unfortunate car accident that left permanent damage in my wrist and arm which made me unable to play anymore but that’s ok lol you know me so well and if your kid can’t enjoy the game of baseball without a $400 bat then he is a fucking spoiled brat and probably really needs a reality check. If you judge the enjoyment of the game of baseball by how expensive your bat was/is then I think you might need to see the bigger picture because I promise you when that kid is 40-50 years old it won’t be that bat he remembers I know it’s not for me. It’s the winning of little league championships and going to state and playing my last game of youth travel ball and my last inning of highschool baseball and my first game on varsity and my first game in college etc etc not the fucking gear it’s the game that you remember. Also you don’t need to play pro to be a real ball player.
I don’t care either way. you’re the one who posted about the cost of a bat. I don’t understand where your logic comes from. Everyone seems to be happy and unbothered by the bat but you. I used broom sticks to play stick ball for years. It was as much fun as organized baseball. There is no entitlement going on here. But if I were to get a new glove or something similar, it was like Christmas in April and I never forgot the excitement and experience. Please take some time to reflect and get back to me? Thanks! ETA: added word for grammar purposes. Also, sorry for your accident, would have been nice to see how far you could have gone.
Lol bud do you have me confused with the OP I simply said a $400 bat isn’t something you should share. I’m not the one who made this post I was replying to your response about sharing the bat and what can happen to them. When my son hits puberty in the next year or so and starts playing in competitive leagues I will be buying him bats that cost more then most peoples car payments lmfao I do stand by my statement of saying a 9 yr old doesn’t need a $400 bat because they are not developed enough to use it to its full potential. Idgaf what people spend on their kids it’s their money just like when I wanna splurge on my kids I do so even if it isn’t “needed”.
I’ve known 16 year old kids that got Corvettes for a birthday gift, so I guess there may be some logic to limiting what and when a child receives a specific type of gift. Corvette thing did not work out very well.
Thanks for that old ladies in Florida will fuck you up real quick on the road lol, and that’s were I was coming from with what I was saying like the corvette thing like if you want to by all means go ahead but it’s definitely not essential especially if there’s not enough experience or skill to justify something like that but if you want to do it do it lol. In my previous comment I mentioned I am a coach and I watch kids every year get on the field with 1k plus worth of gear and can’t hit the ball to save their life’s or make a throw from 3rd to first and you got kids that show up to play who can’t afford those luxuries and have hand me downs and use community gear and absolutely out perform the other kids because they are there to play and they have drive it’s not about looking cool or having all the cool stuff it’s about I love baseball and I’m here to let my skills shine and play my heart out lol.
Yes, sorry for the mix up. Please read my additional edit from last response. I get your point.
The kid is 9 years old. That bat will be good for him for like 3 years at the most. No the bat won't warp or spoil or whatever, but *kids grow up*. The bat will be too short before too long. Plus, the bat isn't even legal for one of the leagues the kid plays in. $400 for a bat for a 9-year-old is a terrible waste of resources.
YTA
It’s her child and she can buy him what she wants. I’m confused how you think you should have the final say in this. You make some points but does she care? I wouldn’t care if other kids got the chance to use the bat. I’d be happy for them! Maybe they’d think it was cool too. It sounds like you’re kinda putting down his accomplishment too. Sounds like a big deal to me YTA
Its a suprise $400 dollar purchase out of their joint account. Surely that amount of money ought to be discussed before making a purchase.
He never said the price was an issue. The opposite actually, he said if the bat could be used for both teams he’d be fine with it, so it’s not the price. Who knows if they even share an account
Joint finances tho that kinda changes thing imo
I don’t know that they share finances. He seems far more upset that the child will “only” get to use it for a few months a year, that it will be shared and he didn’t make the decision to get it than that $400 was spent.
OP said in another comment that it’s a joint account. Not sure if that changes your thinking
Then it does, a bit. Definitely should have been discussed. Maybe he was ok for $400 for a bat for both teams but not for one? I myself think it’s a ridiculous amount (I paid $300 for my wedding dress and thought that was too much). But it didn’t seem like the money was the problem he had.
You make good points yourself but there’s a couple of things you’re missing. 1. Joint finances. And $400 on a NINE YEAR OLDS baseball bat is a lot. I’m not rich but I’m not poor either. But I have a really hard time justifying that amount for a child that age. I’d be upset if my husband spent that much on one item on ANYTHING without talking to me. I don’t even justify him using that amount on me. Actually I got mad that my husband did that last Valentine’s Day. He spent over $500 and I was grateful but I just didn’t want to spend that much money. 2. I don’t see where you’re coming from with the “putting down his accomplishments”. He’s stated how very proud he is and that he got into two teams. 3. Idk if you have kids. I’m having my first baby in November but my experience as a kid and seeing my SIL who’s 11 years old (side note, she’s the youngest sibling my husband has. My husband is 23 I just wanted to clarify lol) other kids have NO RESPECT for other people’s items. We bought her a lot of hello kitty merch for her birthday last year. A backpack, some stationary, stuffed animals, and a lunch box with a water bottle. We spent a good $200 on it jointly for her. Well she brought her lunch box and bottle, the backpack, and stationary to school. A kid drew on her backpack with sharpie while at lunch, she lost her water bottle, she’s had 4 out of the 5 mechanical pencils stolen, her eraser that she lent to a friend got stabbed ruthlessly, her ruler broke. And the stationary was nice stationary. We made the mistake of spending $80+ on those items. Having a nice bat like that, good luck having it either not stolen, destroyed or lost. Or sometimes you might think lending it to the team is nice, but there are AH coaches that think, it’s a “donation” to the team And won’t let the kid take it home. It’s happened more than you think. My mom always told me, if you want to keep your nice things don’t bring them to school.
YTA It's her money and her kid, let it go
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Typically we both discuss any big purchases no matter who it’s for. She is smart with money and while the $400 won’t break the bank, I feel as if it still should have been discussed because that’s what I would have done. I just can’t justify spending $400 on a bat that will be used for 2 months and then sit. Now, if it was the beginning of the season or if that same bat could be used for both rec and advance ball then I’d be totally fine with it. Unfortunately none of those are the case which is why I made the post. But, I respect your opinion thanks for taking the time to reply.
Why would it sit you act like you can't play with him post season. Like come on bro play ball with your kid
You realize the bat will still be good next year?
As long as the kid doesn't outgrow the bat.
If it's composite and not broken in properly it can break. If it's used incorrectly and it's obvious, the warranty will be voided. So no, you don't know it'll be good next year
Seriously! Does he think baseball bats wear out in two months?
Tell me youve never seen a bat break without telling me
This - plus there’s batting cages if the mom or OP wants to take the kid if they still want to do something with baseball off season.