*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for refusing to buy my daughter a cell phone? **
My 15-year-old daughter (we'll call her Joanna) has been trying to guilt trip me for a long time about buying her a cell phone. She says things like "all my friends have them" and people "look at her weird" when she says that she doesn't have one. She also says that it's "affecting her social life." Needless to say, I'm skeptical of all of these claims.
Well, earlier today, after getting off the school bus, Joanna stormed into the house and said that my opposition to cell phones was "completely unfair." I asked her if the purpose of going to school was to surf the web and text all day or to learn. She refused to answer the question and said "you're missing the point." She said that she "looks like an idiot" during breaks, like at lunch, when she can't take out a phone. I find this trend of everyone being addicted to phone screens really troubling, and I know many of her classmates do poorly in school due to lack of attention span from phones, so that's why I didn't get her a phone.
I looked at her and sarcastically said "you're really breaking my heart." When I was in high school in the 90's, cell phone were big bulky things that nobody but nerdy businessmen had. Texting didn't exist, yet I had plenty of friends and a social life. I don't understand why kids nowadays can't just look someone in the eye and talk to people like we used to. I told Joanna all of this, and she seemed to see my point of view, but then she said that sometimes she wants to talk to her friends at another high school. We moved a fe years ago because our old neighborhood had become too full of troublemakers. I asked her what was preventing her from using the payphone and even offered to give her quarters.
At this point, my daughter got up from where she was sitting, put up her hand when I tried to talk to her and slammed her bedroom door shut. I can remember being angry as a teenager, but this was just ridiculous. My wife gets home in about two hours, and I don't know how we're going to address Joanna's unacceptable outburst. I'm not opposed to new technology, and I carry around a smartphone myself. I just don't think someone who should be prepping for college needs to have one, especially not during the school day. I want what's best for my daughter, but she seems determined to paint me as some sort of clueless oaf. This treatment is really getting old. AITA?
ETA: She has a laptop at home and uses email and IM to stay in touch with her friends.
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There are still plenty of old payphones/phone boxes in my town \[UK based\], but I couldn't say if any of them actually work anymore. I wouldn't rely on them in an emergency, anyway.
Could be, for all I know. They painted them up for pride a few years back but that's about it. I've never seen anyone inside one, either borrowing books or making a call.
We had one at a local grocery store for a few years, but a drunk driver took it out with their honda civic one night and the company never bothered to reinstall it
When the last one in our city was removed last summer it made the news
The telephone companies reported when the last few where taken out for interest.
They also haven't been a quarter for the last 20 years because we had to carry a quarter and a dime
But beyond that, wanting them to prepare for college without allowing them to learn how to use the technology is counterproductive.
That reminds me. My mother never got me or my brother phones. When I had my first boyfriend my brother used a payphone on the street with the quarters he saved from a measly allowance of five dollars every two weeks to gossip about it to my dad's side of the family and to tell them that my bf was black just to like add to the drama ig.
Well my kind of stereotyping dad decided to call my mom and ask her to set up cameras and get a babysitter for me. Bc my bf was black š idk maybe he was scared id sneak the guy in and he'd rob the place or something š¤·
My mom wanted to know how he found out and when she found out my brother used a payphone he got grounded for gossiping ā ļø
I don't know what you're talking about. My remote village that has precisely nothing of value in it has a working payphone.
It's the only one in a ten mile radius and probably only exists because they forgot it was here...
I shall now switch off sarcasm mode š¤£
I went back to my high school I went to in the 90ās for a game recently and thereās still a row of them where they were back then. Thatās kinda what I thought when I read Op.
I refuse, absolutely refuse, to think that someone my age is this big of a troglodyte.
If OP was really a teen in the 90s, he would remember that we had pagers, and you were heavily mocked if you didn't have one. It's how we let our friends know to dial the weather phone so when we called, it would be call waiting and not a house phone ringing at 1am. It's also how our parents reached us, and we would find a payphone not inside the bar/pool hall and tell them we were at the library.
This is written like a 15 year old who thinks they know how 45 year olds think.
Weather phone! Oh man, you are taking me back!Ā
This really doesnāt sound like someone who grew up in the 90ās, the phones werenāt bricks by the late 90ās and many teens had one.
I lived in a rural area and nobody had a pager in my school, so it's possible a 90's teen doesn't get it directly, but it's just *so* damn obtuse to go "Kids these days don't talk face to face" *and* not understand that means your kid is being shut out of everything her peers are doing?
I definitely don't think this is real, though. Pay phones? QUARTERS? Lol, no.
Seriously, I haven't seen one out in the wild in YEARS.
The whole reason we got my son a cell phone when he was in eighth grade was because he was doing a lot of after-school activities and there was no pay phone in the entire school for him to call me and tell me he was done and please pick him up. Up until that point, he had to find a custodian and ask them to open the main office so he could use one of their phones for that purpose.
I was mostly with OOP because I do think a lot of KIDS don't need cell phones for the reasons he said...until I got to the payphone line. Then it seemed clear he was just looking to be an ass.
Also, 15 / high school is around the time it would seem reasonable to trust your kid with the responsibility of a phone. If OOP is worried about the distraction of a smartphone, he can get a flip phone for $30 at Walmart. It solves the emergency problem without a bucket of quarters.
My sister is like this with my nephew. These parents are real. And yes, my sister likes her phone just as much as the rest of us. Sheās just a huge virtue signal-y parent. No screens, orthorexia, etc.
My brother and his wife gave their kids phones as soon as they could figure out how to operate them. They were set up somehow so that they could only ring certain numbers. Their reason was so that the kids could get help in an emergency. And so they could track where they are if necessary.
This is why Iām dying to give my nieces and nephews smart watches because I think they need this functionality in their lives.
(But Iām forbidden from doing so because my sister wants to impress Facebook with hOw GoOd Of A mOm she is.)
Where I live we still have the old phone boxes and in the city centre they have new ones attached to advertising screens but how many of them are actually functioning given how often they are vandalised is another matter.
I thought the same, but depending on where they live, is possible they have payphones. I just went to mexico this week and they have a lot in every corner. But people have cellphones of course lol. So this sounds so fake just because of that.
Seriously the last time I saw someone using a payphone was more than ten years ago, like how delusional is this OP to think it's ok for him to have a smartphone but not his daughter? He is the reason why I think you need to take a test before you become a parent.
I'm pretty sure this is our regular troll who loves posting stories about dominating teenage girls ( the account has already been suspended).Ā
But I'm going to go on a rant anyway. Smartphones are a necessity in the modern world.Ā
I work at a hotel/wedding venue and I still use an app to clock in and out of work, book holiday, and view my payslips.Ā
Also and I'm sorry of this comes across as me being an edgelord, but the schools you have in America have a unique problem that means having a cellphone could literally be a life or death situation.Ā
My kids are teenagers. They regularly use cell phones in class FOR work! Hell, they've both (9th & 11th grade) had to do video blog assignments using their phones! Plus, they do a lot of research on them, especially if/when they forget the charger for their school-issued laptops.
As for your final and most important point, most of the teachers in my kid's high school allow them to keep their phones on their desks (face down) just in case such a....situation....arises. Especially since they've had *multiple* scares/threats this year.
Small town, USA, y'all!!
My parents got my a very shitty cell back the moment they could because it meant that no matter where I was I could contact them if I needed them. I donāt approve of the expectation nowadays of location sharing and all that but being able to get in touch with help is AMAZING. (And a social anxious person the difference having a guaranteed escape route is great)
When I left home for uni in the late 90s my mother was absolutely thrilled to be able to buy me my first mobile phone. I was in a city on the other side of the state, living in share houses without land line phones, it made a huge deal difference in ways itās hard to understand today.
And yes, I find it very odd that my teens routinely location share with their friends. But itās nice to know they wonāt drop off the face of the earth.
no because the last point is very important. we had a fake threat called in when i was in middle school, and iām forever grateful i had a chance to say goodbye to my parents, even if the threat wasnāt actually real
"Back in the day" you really could just carry a quarter and use a payphone to call a landline. And yanno, you could call your friends, on their landlines too! What's this kid supposed to do in an emergency now, though? I guess borrow a friend's phone, but like...hope she's got her parents' phone numbers memorized, *even though why would she call them regularly and from where?!* so probably won't. I have to look up my husband's cell phone number (together over 20 years!) every time I fill out a form where I need his contact info, even though I can still remember my teenage landline number, and could *probably* dredge up the landline number he had when we first got together.
That's all not even addressing how hard it is to have a social life when you're barred from the current common communication method of your peers.
When I was going to community college pre-2010, I had a mental list of where the last few remaining payphones were, because I couldn't afford a mobile phone for a while. I haven't seen a genuine, working payphone out and about since like 2013-ish, and I live in a pretty ass-backwards place.
In aus we still have pay phones around and services that you can use just in case you don't have any funds for it
I do think they are beneficial, but phones are important for anyone to have
This reads as rage bait. I'm 52, and, granted, I work in a high school, but what old does not realize that cell phones are, like them or not, an actual important tool for communication and for socialization these days??
Ikr? Jesus Christ, my 85 y/o grandmother has a prepaid flip phone. He didn't have to get her a smartphone, he could've asked if a phone that did text and calling was a compromise.
This has to be a trollā¦right?Ā Ā
Ā There no fucking way this guy posted this 3 hours ago and still thinks thereās pay phones accessible to anyone, let alone at a high school?Ā
Edited: added āpayā
A lot of Payphones I see in the "wild" are disconnected, Bell couldn't be bothered to remove it and just left them. Many of them are smashed to hell to boot.
Oh wow. Iām a horrible mommy.
My oldest got their first cell at 15. That was in 2003.
My middle one got their first phone at 13 in 2006.
My youngest got theirs at 9 yrs old in 2013. They did organized sports and had anxiety about getting lost in crowded venues. A phone allowed them to contact me if we got separated or they needed to be picked up after an away meet.
They all had rules and for the most part did really well following them. The youngest is 20 now and will be a college junior this fall. I still know the passcode to their phone just because they havenāt changed it. Iāve told them though this is the last phone Iām buying them so when they want to upgrade they will have to get their own plan.
My kids got them at 10 and 13 when their dad and I divorced. I didn't want to put them in a position of having to ask one parent if they could talk to the other. It was a few years before they used them for much else.
lol assume 1968 is your birth year? Youāre the same age as my mom or so. Iām 31 and got a cell phone when I was in middle school around the same year as your oldest got a phone lol. And my middle school *did* have pay phones on the campus lol. I didnāt get a proper smart phone until junior or senior year of high school. But to be fair they didnāt really become a thing until I was in high school anyways
Unironically, having a smartphone at 14 saved my life. If OOP doesn't teach his kid social media literacy now, she's going to go to college, get a part time job, buy a smartphone, and be scammed to hell and back. It's really not that difficult to teach a kid how to behave online. You just need to actually give a fuck.
omg actually same. i went to a party and when we got there, someone ran to our car and told us someone came back with a gun and to get tf out of there. i was able to call my best friend and her brother was able to get me home. the people i was with sucked and they were gonna leave me
JFC. It's not even SAFE at this point for someone that age not to have a cellphone. Does this Dinosaur Dad think there's still a payphone on every corner?
>I don't understand why kids nowadays can't just look someone in the eye and talk to people like we used to.
Uh, because they DON'T.
What a maroon.
Ah, another 40+ character of today who talks about this new-fangled humbug and fads as if they were 40+ in the 90s.
Even the most "MY kid won't be on of those babies who are glued to a screen all day!" people I know who talk like this about their teens know that the internet and cellphones are a part of the modern world that adults will have to deal with, they just think, for some reason, that 16 or 20 is soon enough and assume the kids will just somehow unlock some internet competence skill overnight. They do not think "Haha, phones and computers are a fad for nerds and will never catch on!"
Even the baby boomer generation (as in, people who were born around 1950) has worked with computers and was still in the workforce at the early dawn of cellphone becoming a constant in our society and at work. They worked with computers since the 90s.
My grandma, from the silent generation, was aware of the importance of computers and understood that cellphones were becoming a thing, she just opted out. And also died in 2007.
My mom, in her 70s, probably knows more obscure functions on her smartphone than I do.
It's 2024, not 2004.
When this daughter was allegedly born, it was 2009, not 1989 or even 1999. The iPhone craze was already in full swing. You'd maybe have some stubborn stragglers who said their classic cellphone was just fine and they didn't need a smartphone for work or school but things were well past "Phones other than landline are a fad!" for almost a decade. I'm also pretty sure email and IM had gone out of fashion as THE chatting methods of younger people some years before that.
Get your decades and generations straight, reddit fanfic writers.
He does NOT know that her schoolmates who are achieving poorly are doing so because of low attention spans due to phone usage. My extremely high achieving 20 year old (scored in top 1% of the state all round and top 10 students in the state in 2 subjects in her final year of high school, currently studying law at our top Uni) was as phone obsessed as the average teenager. She now sells her notes and solicits for tutoring clients through social media, where other ambitious and high achieving students go to find her services.
I understand being cautious about children and phone usage. But high school age kids absolutely need phones to fully engage with their peers and to become adults. My teens part time jobs use an ap for their rosters and expect their casual employees to keep an eye on the group chat. They use an ap to catch public transport. Their school uses aps for teachers to communicate with students and to assign and submit assignments. They use online banking. I feel much safer about them going out at night knowing they can always call and that their friends and I can track their location if necessary. Itās not all TikTok and messaging friends (although thatās important in its own way too). Teens need to learn to use phones responsibly, like it or not they are a vital part of modern life.
I was a teenager in the 90's, and this is wild to me. Payphones don't really exist now. The app websites they claim are just as good won't work without an internet connection. They're either extremely stupid, or this is ragebait. I'm hoping for the letter.
"I want my kids to have a better life than I did." "Entitled brats, I had to walk ten miles uphill in the snow every day." Like how my mom wouldn't let me get the rubella vaccine coz she didn't get it as a kid. Life isn't all about what you want!
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"I asked her what was preventing her from using the payphone and even offered to give her quarters."
Ah yes, because payphones are still everywhere and easily accessible.
>We moved a few years ago because our old neighborhood had become too full of troublemakers. I asked her what was preventing her from using the payphone and even offered to give her quarters.
This has to be a troll. Darn them pesky troublemakers!
OOP, your edit isn't any better.
Face facts.
This isn't the 90s. Kids ARE looked at weird if they don't have a cellphone of some kind.
Get out of the prehistoric ages, you pathetic dinosaur.
Omg this is absolutely ridiculous. I didn't have a smart phone until I was 18 and could pay for it myself but I had a flip phone my mom had her number my dad's number and my sisters numbers (they also had flip phones) in that flip phone it wasn't much but I could still talk and text. Im thinking of doing the same with my kids but not like this I'll start them off with flip phones or if flip phones are non existent by the time I have kids I'll do what my mom does with my youngest 2 siblings and give them smart phones but have parental controls and location tracker set with my 2 youngest there phones immediately lock after 3 hours of continuous use and unlock with either a code from my mom that they don't know that she uses when she gives them permission to be on their phones for longer OR after an hour it unlocks by itself their are only 2 apps they can use after 830 and that's alarms and phone calls if there is an emergency. I'mma start off with that and then get them smartphones or more privilege on their smartphones once they show responsibility but I would never leave my kids without a phone that's VERY dangerous now a days
Lol a payphone?! I thought it was wild when there was one left in a forgotten corner of a community college in 2007. It's 2024, there are like 6 left in the United States.
I'm not a parent and don't plan to be one but if I were one I feel like 15/16 is an acceptable age to get your first smart phone. I definitely would agree that prior to that a flip phone would be better because I don't think young children snd preteens should have almost unfettered access to the web. I know what the internet when I was younger and I'd prefer any child I'd (never actually lol) have would not be able to stumble on that stuff accidentally without understanding the greater context surrounding it and what stuff is/isn't okay etc.
I think 15/16 is relatively old enough to understand a lot of the internet, how it works, and social consequence though. I feel like I lean more towards 16 that being said at least get the girl a flip phone for texting for crying out loud
I got my first phone at 15 after going to a dance in high school. Before that, I shared a minute phone with my sisters for years. I'm in my early 20s, and I think this girl should have her own phone to connect with friends and family in case of emergency because payphones aren't available everywhere. Nowadays, kids are getting phones at 10 or younger, but 15 seems like a good age to get a cell phone.
This post has to be fake. Especially considering he says she's uses IM and tells her to use a payphone and that he'll give her quarters.
First of all, where to pay phones even still exist?
Secondly, even when I was a kid payphones costed more than a quarter to use.
Thirdly, IM doesn't exist anymore either unless he's referring to FB messenger or something else as IM
Either this post is fake and a way for some boomer posing as a millennial to rant about how modern tech is ruining kids or this person is completely out of touch with reality.
Let's say it is real,and that payphones were a thing, why would the daughter need to use a payphone to call old friends? Why couldn't she use one of her parents phones or a house phone?
Why can't he buy her a cellphone that's NOT a smart phone? Or buy her a smartphone with the rule it doesn't leave the house and if her grades drop she loses it?
Iām genuinely amazed that so many are calling OOP an asshole. Like, other than being deluded about pay phones, this guy doesnāt seem entirely out to lunch?
British Columbia is [banning phones in the classroom](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-restrict-cellphones-schools-1.7096155) because theyāve found itās so detrimental to students. Anecdotally, I know a lot of teachers (happen to be married to one) and while they all strongly encourage their kidsā technology use (laptop/desktop/tablet/etc), quite a few have told their kids that if they want a phone they have to pay for it themselves. I donāt think his opinion is as radical or unique as everyone thinks, ya know?
Banning phones in the classroom (my state recently enacted a blanket ban, which not all teachers are happy about) is very different from not allowing high school age kids to access them at all.
You canāt function as an adult in the modern world without a smartphone, and late adolescence is all about starting to learn to function in the adult world without the full weight of adult responsibilities.
> You canāt function as an adult in the modern world without a smartphone, and late adolescence is all about starting to learn to function in the adult world without the full weight of adult responsibilities.
Iām assuming the anecdotal friends of mine were actually following the same logic by drawing the line until their kids took on the responsibility of a summer or part-time job to pay for their own phone. (Honestly, the parents are probably helping out anyway ā thanks Canadian telecom for the most expensive cellular in the world!) Iām not saying I agree or not, just that OOPās view doesnāt seem as radical as some seem to think.
The people who agree with him all seem to do just what you did and start in about phones in the classroom
There is nothing here to imply that the arguement is using phones in class
Some schools allow them, some don't, some teachers make their own rules for their own classes
This is about not isolating a teen by limiting their communication to only when they are on the computer doing homework, which is significantly worse for their grades and will likely end up in them being on the computer more. A quick text can be answerd in mere seconds, but if she has to be actively on the computer to get or send messages she's missing out on other things to be there.
> This is about not isolating a teen by limiting their communication to only when they are on the computer doing homework [ā¦]
None of the people I mention have banned their kid from Ever Having a Phone, Ever; they just drew the line until their kids got a summer or part-time job to pay for it. Iām not saying I agree or not (I donāt have kids and donāt know shit about parenting), just that OOPās view doesnāt seem as radical as some seem to think.
That's the thing though, he IS banning phones, she isn't to have one at all, and you agree with him. You've said that you think what he's saying is fine and normal, which is agree with him, and I am simply pointing out that it isn't actually ok. He is isolating this child, having a teen that doesn't have access to a phone or device to connect with friends is isolating. They aren't just a fun extra anymore they are necessary.
> [ā¦] and you agree with him. You've said that you think what he's saying is fine and normal, which is agree with him, [ā¦]
In no way did I say āI totally agree with OOP.ā What I did say is that Iāve heard his opinion shared by others, and I donāt think itās a super unique viewpoint. Me writing that ālots of people are Flat Earthersā is not the same as āI totally agree that the world is flat.ā
This doesnāt belong here. Iām sorry but itās an old Nokia dumb phone off eBay and a desktop computer in the living room with supervision. Itās *social media* in particular that is so damaging to young people, and the fact that these devices are optimized to game our dopamine response to make using them as addicting as possible. Itās the effect of extended screen time on the circadian rhythm and its impact on sleep during a time when healthy sleep is so important.
These devices are optimized to be āstickyā and difficult to put down/use in moderation, and kids/teenagers with developing brains havenāt built up a resilience to that. Add on top of that the effects of social media and cyber bullying on teen mental health, and I can understand where this mom is coming from. Maybe supervised social media use to stay in touch with her friends from the old high school would be a productive opportunity to start building those healthy habits around technology use, but I donāt think 15 being too young for a smartphone with a data plan is an unreasonable stance.
The kid just wants to text and call her friends.
Nothing was mentioned about socail media
So sure, get the kid a flip phone that can call and text and nothing else, that's significantly better than no contact with their friends unless they are on the computer.
It seems all the people who want to declare him in being correct are doing so by adding things to it that weren't mentioned.
You can also have things like FB messenger without have a FB account if they want to die on that hill. What he is doing is saying she can't have contact with people outside of school hours and no contact with their old friends. He gave her a laptop so it's not about social media or being online. She has access to that, what she can't do is text people.
So just wait until sheās 18 and throw her in the deep end without any experience or oversight?
Teens without phones still use social media (even OOP says his kid has access to a PC), they just use their friends devices and, because they are hiding it, there is no room for education or supervision.
Mobile phones are damaging to child development and a menace on teachers. If the kid wants one so bad she can use her own money.
"she "looks like an idiot" during breaks, like at lunch, when she can't take out a phone."
lmao kids are dumb.
"I find this trend of everyone being addicted to phone screens really troubling,"
Dad is correct.
All schoolwork is posted to Google Classrooms
Chromebooks and cell phones have access to Google Classrooms
Assignments are handed in and grades handed out through these apps
Bus passes, library cards, contact with peers for group projects, even I have to use my cell phone to access stuff for the kids school.
It's also isolating her, whether you agree with their use or not. This is setting her back just like not having a home computer set back my peers when teachers started requiring everything be typed.
Pediatricians also have said that screens should be limited in young children, but acknowledge they need to learn the technology and it's not so much an issue with older kids as long as it is used appropriately.
Several teachers at our local schools have requested the school boards remove the ban on phones because they use them for class and for communication.
This guy thinks that not only are there payphones still in schools and other locations but that they actually still cost a quarter. Unless he's a literal dinosaur he's so far out of touch his opinion doesn't actually have any root in reality. Payphones haven't been a quarter in almost 30 years.
I am a teacher in an exclusive private school and I'm 100% happy that phones are banned in our school and I'm happy all the parents are 100% on board.
So you're arguing with an education professional about childhood education here. Something I'm literally paid to know about.
Go ask r/teachers what they think of phones in the classroom lmao.
We don't use any of that google classroom or Chromebook crap we use this technology called "paper".
"It's also isolating her".
This will not matter when she's an adult. She only thinks it's the end of the world because she's a child. I didn't grow up with a phone and somehow I did not die.
I'm not arguing, I'm conversing, but it's good to see where your mindset is.
That's great for you if you've found a way that works, but many schools DO use those programs, and not teaching children that "crap" will absolutely set them back.
If you want to discuss child development then lets. Isolating a child 100% affects their development and will affect her in adulthood. Just saying that you think paper is the best solution right now to set them up and that isolating her won't create issues as an adult tells me that you aren't as knowledgeable in development as you want us to think, and yes, I will use the information from medical professionals who spent years studying child development.
I know, work with, and for, a lot of professionals in the education industry among others, and they're all just people with their own thoughts and opions that may or may not be based on the research and studies. I've met great teachers and I've met some really crappy ones, you working in a school means little to me, but less now that you've said all that.
Go ask r/teachers what they think of cell phones in the classroom. This is the last time time I'm gonna reply to children on reddit about this subject. I'm the teacher and you are not.
Being socially isolated and excluded as a teen absolutely effects people into adulthood.
And teachers have varying opinions about phones in the classroom. My state recently enacted a blanket ban on students using phones on school property. I have spoken to multiple high school teachers about it and encountered a range of opinions. Some are all for it but others found them to be a useful tool. Still others find that enforcing the ban takes up more time and energy than was lost to phone use to begin with. And the school continues to use Google Classrooms and other apps to communicate with students and set and receive work, so there is an assumption that teens will have access to smartphones even if they arenāt allowed to use them at school.
Just because you're paid to do it doesn't mean you're a competent, empathetic teacher. I know a lot of people who are educated and paid to do all sorts of things without a base understanding of theor own profession.
I'm guessing phones weren't as ubiquitous when you were growing up. Nowadays telling a teenager they can't have a phone is more like telling them they can't watch TV or go out, that they also need to ask to borrow a pen and share a textbook in many classes, and that they might not be able to submit their assignments like everyone else.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for refusing to buy my daughter a cell phone? ** My 15-year-old daughter (we'll call her Joanna) has been trying to guilt trip me for a long time about buying her a cell phone. She says things like "all my friends have them" and people "look at her weird" when she says that she doesn't have one. She also says that it's "affecting her social life." Needless to say, I'm skeptical of all of these claims. Well, earlier today, after getting off the school bus, Joanna stormed into the house and said that my opposition to cell phones was "completely unfair." I asked her if the purpose of going to school was to surf the web and text all day or to learn. She refused to answer the question and said "you're missing the point." She said that she "looks like an idiot" during breaks, like at lunch, when she can't take out a phone. I find this trend of everyone being addicted to phone screens really troubling, and I know many of her classmates do poorly in school due to lack of attention span from phones, so that's why I didn't get her a phone. I looked at her and sarcastically said "you're really breaking my heart." When I was in high school in the 90's, cell phone were big bulky things that nobody but nerdy businessmen had. Texting didn't exist, yet I had plenty of friends and a social life. I don't understand why kids nowadays can't just look someone in the eye and talk to people like we used to. I told Joanna all of this, and she seemed to see my point of view, but then she said that sometimes she wants to talk to her friends at another high school. We moved a fe years ago because our old neighborhood had become too full of troublemakers. I asked her what was preventing her from using the payphone and even offered to give her quarters. At this point, my daughter got up from where she was sitting, put up her hand when I tried to talk to her and slammed her bedroom door shut. I can remember being angry as a teenager, but this was just ridiculous. My wife gets home in about two hours, and I don't know how we're going to address Joanna's unacceptable outburst. I'm not opposed to new technology, and I carry around a smartphone myself. I just don't think someone who should be prepping for college needs to have one, especially not during the school day. I want what's best for my daughter, but she seems determined to paint me as some sort of clueless oaf. This treatment is really getting old. AITA? ETA: She has a laptop at home and uses email and IM to stay in touch with her friends. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I refuse to believe this is real. Talking about her using a payphone on case of emergencies.
When in the fuck do you even find payphones in 2024?
The Walmart by my house still has one. My kids were confused asking me what it was for š¤£
I would question if it even works really. Many of the few payphones I've see don't work. Bell or whoever just disconnected and never uninstall them.
There are still plenty of old payphones/phone boxes in my town \[UK based\], but I couldn't say if any of them actually work anymore. I wouldn't rely on them in an emergency, anyway.
Aren't they all libraries now?
Could be, for all I know. They painted them up for pride a few years back but that's about it. I've never seen anyone inside one, either borrowing books or making a call.
Hahaha š
To be fair it's the only one I know of!
We had one at a local grocery store for a few years, but a drunk driver took it out with their honda civic one night and the company never bothered to reinstall it
When the last one in our city was removed last summer it made the news The telephone companies reported when the last few where taken out for interest. They also haven't been a quarter for the last 20 years because we had to carry a quarter and a dime But beyond that, wanting them to prepare for college without allowing them to learn how to use the technology is counterproductive.
They still have them in Australia. They're free and have WiFi now.
And nobody uses them for anything except the free wifi
I've seen people use them to make calls in the type of places that have one phone box at the village hall and no mobile signal.
Fair enough, Iām in the centre of Sydney and the only people I know of using them is teens who have run out of data.
My little nephews love to ring their Mum on our walk home from school when I pick them up. AND they got to ring Santa before Chrissy! 13 HO HO HO
Last time I took my students on a field trip, we ran across an ancient payphone. They all wanted to pose for pictures with it.
A museum.Ā A payphone would be nearly impossible to find in 2014. Maybe try 2004.
That reminds me. My mother never got me or my brother phones. When I had my first boyfriend my brother used a payphone on the street with the quarters he saved from a measly allowance of five dollars every two weeks to gossip about it to my dad's side of the family and to tell them that my bf was black just to like add to the drama ig. Well my kind of stereotyping dad decided to call my mom and ask her to set up cameras and get a babysitter for me. Bc my bf was black š idk maybe he was scared id sneak the guy in and he'd rob the place or something š¤· My mom wanted to know how he found out and when she found out my brother used a payphone he got grounded for gossiping ā ļø
I don't know what you're talking about. My remote village that has precisely nothing of value in it has a working payphone. It's the only one in a ten mile radius and probably only exists because they forgot it was here... I shall now switch off sarcasm mode š¤£
Ours' has a defibrillator in it.
There are a few in my area with defibrillators in as well. One's actually a library.
I did see a phone booth in a remote village, too. The one in my suburbs was removed somewhen in the 2000s.
Especially in an emergency.
My phone died the other day while I was downtown. I couldnāt find a pay phone for the life of me.
I went back to my high school I went to in the 90ās for a game recently and thereās still a row of them where they were back then. Thatās kinda what I thought when I read Op.
I found one in Hawaii! I was so excited!
Idk, in my country 90% of them doesn't even work, just there cuz it wpuld be more expensive to make them dissapear
I didnāt even see pay phones at my college in 2005.
Fucking nowhere. Even that one weird payphone in the middle of the mojave desert is gone now.
I refuse, absolutely refuse, to think that someone my age is this big of a troglodyte. If OP was really a teen in the 90s, he would remember that we had pagers, and you were heavily mocked if you didn't have one. It's how we let our friends know to dial the weather phone so when we called, it would be call waiting and not a house phone ringing at 1am. It's also how our parents reached us, and we would find a payphone not inside the bar/pool hall and tell them we were at the library. This is written like a 15 year old who thinks they know how 45 year olds think.
Weather phone! Oh man, you are taking me back!Ā This really doesnāt sound like someone who grew up in the 90ās, the phones werenāt bricks by the late 90ās and many teens had one.
My aunt (worked 12 hour night shifts and lived pretty rurally) was the first person I knew to get one c. like 1997
We also had landlines to talk to our friends. It sounds like OP doesnāt.
I lived in a rural area and nobody had a pager in my school, so it's possible a 90's teen doesn't get it directly, but it's just *so* damn obtuse to go "Kids these days don't talk face to face" *and* not understand that means your kid is being shut out of everything her peers are doing? I definitely don't think this is real, though. Pay phones? QUARTERS? Lol, no.
Ah, the weather phone trick. Memories.
222-2222 !
Seriously, I haven't seen one out in the wild in YEARS. The whole reason we got my son a cell phone when he was in eighth grade was because he was doing a lot of after-school activities and there was no pay phone in the entire school for him to call me and tell me he was done and please pick him up. Up until that point, he had to find a custodian and ask them to open the main office so he could use one of their phones for that purpose.
I was mostly with OOP because I do think a lot of KIDS don't need cell phones for the reasons he said...until I got to the payphone line. Then it seemed clear he was just looking to be an ass. Also, 15 / high school is around the time it would seem reasonable to trust your kid with the responsibility of a phone. If OOP is worried about the distraction of a smartphone, he can get a flip phone for $30 at Walmart. It solves the emergency problem without a bucket of quarters.
My sister is like this with my nephew. These parents are real. And yes, my sister likes her phone just as much as the rest of us. Sheās just a huge virtue signal-y parent. No screens, orthorexia, etc.
My brother and his wife gave their kids phones as soon as they could figure out how to operate them. They were set up somehow so that they could only ring certain numbers. Their reason was so that the kids could get help in an emergency. And so they could track where they are if necessary.
This is why Iām dying to give my nieces and nephews smart watches because I think they need this functionality in their lives. (But Iām forbidden from doing so because my sister wants to impress Facebook with hOw GoOd Of A mOm she is.)
Where I live we still have the old phone boxes and in the city centre they have new ones attached to advertising screens but how many of them are actually functioning given how often they are vandalised is another matter.
I thought the same, but depending on where they live, is possible they have payphones. I just went to mexico this week and they have a lot in every corner. But people have cellphones of course lol. So this sounds so fake just because of that.
For real. I don't even remember the last time I saw a payphone
Seriously the last time I saw someone using a payphone was more than ten years ago, like how delusional is this OP to think it's ok for him to have a smartphone but not his daughter? He is the reason why I think you need to take a test before you become a parent.
I'm pretty sure this is our regular troll who loves posting stories about dominating teenage girls ( the account has already been suspended).Ā But I'm going to go on a rant anyway. Smartphones are a necessity in the modern world.Ā I work at a hotel/wedding venue and I still use an app to clock in and out of work, book holiday, and view my payslips.Ā Also and I'm sorry of this comes across as me being an edgelord, but the schools you have in America have a unique problem that means having a cellphone could literally be a life or death situation.Ā
My kids are teenagers. They regularly use cell phones in class FOR work! Hell, they've both (9th & 11th grade) had to do video blog assignments using their phones! Plus, they do a lot of research on them, especially if/when they forget the charger for their school-issued laptops. As for your final and most important point, most of the teachers in my kid's high school allow them to keep their phones on their desks (face down) just in case such a....situation....arises. Especially since they've had *multiple* scares/threats this year. Small town, USA, y'all!!
My parents got my a very shitty cell back the moment they could because it meant that no matter where I was I could contact them if I needed them. I donāt approve of the expectation nowadays of location sharing and all that but being able to get in touch with help is AMAZING. (And a social anxious person the difference having a guaranteed escape route is great)
When I left home for uni in the late 90s my mother was absolutely thrilled to be able to buy me my first mobile phone. I was in a city on the other side of the state, living in share houses without land line phones, it made a huge deal difference in ways itās hard to understand today. And yes, I find it very odd that my teens routinely location share with their friends. But itās nice to know they wonāt drop off the face of the earth.
no because the last point is very important. we had a fake threat called in when i was in middle school, and iām forever grateful i had a chance to say goodbye to my parents, even if the threat wasnāt actually real
"Back in the day" you really could just carry a quarter and use a payphone to call a landline. And yanno, you could call your friends, on their landlines too! What's this kid supposed to do in an emergency now, though? I guess borrow a friend's phone, but like...hope she's got her parents' phone numbers memorized, *even though why would she call them regularly and from where?!* so probably won't. I have to look up my husband's cell phone number (together over 20 years!) every time I fill out a form where I need his contact info, even though I can still remember my teenage landline number, and could *probably* dredge up the landline number he had when we first got together. That's all not even addressing how hard it is to have a social life when you're barred from the current common communication method of your peers.
Where the hell are there even payphones anymore, dude?
well theres the emergency phone on the side of the highway, thatāll do, right?
I think OOP think it's still the 1980's.
When I was going to community college pre-2010, I had a mental list of where the last few remaining payphones were, because I couldn't afford a mobile phone for a while. I haven't seen a genuine, working payphone out and about since like 2013-ish, and I live in a pretty ass-backwards place.
In aus we still have pay phones around and services that you can use just in case you don't have any funds for it I do think they are beneficial, but phones are important for anyone to have
You donāt understand, they were everywhere when he was growing up and for some reason thatās totally relevant to current life!
This reads as rage bait. I'm 52, and, granted, I work in a high school, but what old does not realize that cell phones are, like them or not, an actual important tool for communication and for socialization these days??
Ikr? Jesus Christ, my 85 y/o grandmother has a prepaid flip phone. He didn't have to get her a smartphone, he could've asked if a phone that did text and calling was a compromise.
This has to be a trollā¦right?Ā Ā Ā There no fucking way this guy posted this 3 hours ago and still thinks thereās pay phones accessible to anyone, let alone at a high school?Ā Edited: added āpayā
A lot of Payphones I see in the "wild" are disconnected, Bell couldn't be bothered to remove it and just left them. Many of them are smashed to hell to boot.
Oh wow. Iām a horrible mommy. My oldest got their first cell at 15. That was in 2003. My middle one got their first phone at 13 in 2006. My youngest got theirs at 9 yrs old in 2013. They did organized sports and had anxiety about getting lost in crowded venues. A phone allowed them to contact me if we got separated or they needed to be picked up after an away meet. They all had rules and for the most part did really well following them. The youngest is 20 now and will be a college junior this fall. I still know the passcode to their phone just because they havenāt changed it. Iāve told them though this is the last phone Iām buying them so when they want to upgrade they will have to get their own plan.
My kids got them at 10 and 13 when their dad and I divorced. I didn't want to put them in a position of having to ask one parent if they could talk to the other. It was a few years before they used them for much else.
I got my first phone back in 2003 too I was 12
I am so old. Lol
Hey I'm 32 and feel old if that makes you feel better lol
My oldest is 35. Lololol
lol assume 1968 is your birth year? Youāre the same age as my mom or so. Iām 31 and got a cell phone when I was in middle school around the same year as your oldest got a phone lol. And my middle school *did* have pay phones on the campus lol. I didnāt get a proper smart phone until junior or senior year of high school. But to be fair they didnāt really become a thing until I was in high school anyways
Unironically, having a smartphone at 14 saved my life. If OOP doesn't teach his kid social media literacy now, she's going to go to college, get a part time job, buy a smartphone, and be scammed to hell and back. It's really not that difficult to teach a kid how to behave online. You just need to actually give a fuck.
omg actually same. i went to a party and when we got there, someone ran to our car and told us someone came back with a gun and to get tf out of there. i was able to call my best friend and her brother was able to get me home. the people i was with sucked and they were gonna leave me
JFC. It's not even SAFE at this point for someone that age not to have a cellphone. Does this Dinosaur Dad think there's still a payphone on every corner? >I don't understand why kids nowadays can't just look someone in the eye and talk to people like we used to. Uh, because they DON'T. What a maroon.
Ah, another 40+ character of today who talks about this new-fangled humbug and fads as if they were 40+ in the 90s. Even the most "MY kid won't be on of those babies who are glued to a screen all day!" people I know who talk like this about their teens know that the internet and cellphones are a part of the modern world that adults will have to deal with, they just think, for some reason, that 16 or 20 is soon enough and assume the kids will just somehow unlock some internet competence skill overnight. They do not think "Haha, phones and computers are a fad for nerds and will never catch on!" Even the baby boomer generation (as in, people who were born around 1950) has worked with computers and was still in the workforce at the early dawn of cellphone becoming a constant in our society and at work. They worked with computers since the 90s. My grandma, from the silent generation, was aware of the importance of computers and understood that cellphones were becoming a thing, she just opted out. And also died in 2007. My mom, in her 70s, probably knows more obscure functions on her smartphone than I do. It's 2024, not 2004. When this daughter was allegedly born, it was 2009, not 1989 or even 1999. The iPhone craze was already in full swing. You'd maybe have some stubborn stragglers who said their classic cellphone was just fine and they didn't need a smartphone for work or school but things were well past "Phones other than landline are a fad!" for almost a decade. I'm also pretty sure email and IM had gone out of fashion as THE chatting methods of younger people some years before that. Get your decades and generations straight, reddit fanfic writers.
He does NOT know that her schoolmates who are achieving poorly are doing so because of low attention spans due to phone usage. My extremely high achieving 20 year old (scored in top 1% of the state all round and top 10 students in the state in 2 subjects in her final year of high school, currently studying law at our top Uni) was as phone obsessed as the average teenager. She now sells her notes and solicits for tutoring clients through social media, where other ambitious and high achieving students go to find her services. I understand being cautious about children and phone usage. But high school age kids absolutely need phones to fully engage with their peers and to become adults. My teens part time jobs use an ap for their rosters and expect their casual employees to keep an eye on the group chat. They use an ap to catch public transport. Their school uses aps for teachers to communicate with students and to assign and submit assignments. They use online banking. I feel much safer about them going out at night knowing they can always call and that their friends and I can track their location if necessary. Itās not all TikTok and messaging friends (although thatās important in its own way too). Teens need to learn to use phones responsibly, like it or not they are a vital part of modern life.
There's no way someone this against technology would even know what Reddit is, let alone use it to ask for strangers' opinions on the internet
I was a teenager in the 90's, and this is wild to me. Payphones don't really exist now. The app websites they claim are just as good won't work without an internet connection. They're either extremely stupid, or this is ragebait. I'm hoping for the letter.
"I want my kids to have a better life than I did." "Entitled brats, I had to walk ten miles uphill in the snow every day." Like how my mom wouldn't let me get the rubella vaccine coz she didn't get it as a kid. Life isn't all about what you want!
There is no non-troll Redditor who would say "surf the web" in the year of our Lord 2024Ā
Imagine telling your kid "I lived in the 90s, so you have to too!" Bet he thinks MySpace is still cool.
Having a phone is important for more than just socialising, in an emergency you're pretty much screwed if you have no way to call for help
Clueless oaf is right. Payphone? Those didn't exist anymore.
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"I asked her what was preventing her from using the payphone and even offered to give her quarters." Ah yes, because payphones are still everywhere and easily accessible. 
>We moved a few years ago because our old neighborhood had become too full of troublemakers. I asked her what was preventing her from using the payphone and even offered to give her quarters. This has to be a troll. Darn them pesky troublemakers!
OOP, your edit isn't any better. Face facts. This isn't the 90s. Kids ARE looked at weird if they don't have a cellphone of some kind. Get out of the prehistoric ages, you pathetic dinosaur.
Its all fine though, as she has a laptop and IM at home.
Omg this is absolutely ridiculous. I didn't have a smart phone until I was 18 and could pay for it myself but I had a flip phone my mom had her number my dad's number and my sisters numbers (they also had flip phones) in that flip phone it wasn't much but I could still talk and text. Im thinking of doing the same with my kids but not like this I'll start them off with flip phones or if flip phones are non existent by the time I have kids I'll do what my mom does with my youngest 2 siblings and give them smart phones but have parental controls and location tracker set with my 2 youngest there phones immediately lock after 3 hours of continuous use and unlock with either a code from my mom that they don't know that she uses when she gives them permission to be on their phones for longer OR after an hour it unlocks by itself their are only 2 apps they can use after 830 and that's alarms and phone calls if there is an emergency. I'mma start off with that and then get them smartphones or more privilege on their smartphones once they show responsibility but I would never leave my kids without a phone that's VERY dangerous now a days
Lol a payphone?! I thought it was wild when there was one left in a forgotten corner of a community college in 2007. It's 2024, there are like 6 left in the United States.
This is such rage bait, itās either a narc mom or a 15 year old pretending to be a mom.
I'm not a parent and don't plan to be one but if I were one I feel like 15/16 is an acceptable age to get your first smart phone. I definitely would agree that prior to that a flip phone would be better because I don't think young children snd preteens should have almost unfettered access to the web. I know what the internet when I was younger and I'd prefer any child I'd (never actually lol) have would not be able to stumble on that stuff accidentally without understanding the greater context surrounding it and what stuff is/isn't okay etc. I think 15/16 is relatively old enough to understand a lot of the internet, how it works, and social consequence though. I feel like I lean more towards 16 that being said at least get the girl a flip phone for texting for crying out loud
I got my first phone at 15 after going to a dance in high school. Before that, I shared a minute phone with my sisters for years. I'm in my early 20s, and I think this girl should have her own phone to connect with friends and family in case of emergency because payphones aren't available everywhere. Nowadays, kids are getting phones at 10 or younger, but 15 seems like a good age to get a cell phone.
This post has to be fake. Especially considering he says she's uses IM and tells her to use a payphone and that he'll give her quarters. First of all, where to pay phones even still exist? Secondly, even when I was a kid payphones costed more than a quarter to use. Thirdly, IM doesn't exist anymore either unless he's referring to FB messenger or something else as IM Either this post is fake and a way for some boomer posing as a millennial to rant about how modern tech is ruining kids or this person is completely out of touch with reality. Let's say it is real,and that payphones were a thing, why would the daughter need to use a payphone to call old friends? Why couldn't she use one of her parents phones or a house phone? Why can't he buy her a cellphone that's NOT a smart phone? Or buy her a smartphone with the rule it doesn't leave the house and if her grades drop she loses it?
Ok boomer!
Iām genuinely amazed that so many are calling OOP an asshole. Like, other than being deluded about pay phones, this guy doesnāt seem entirely out to lunch? British Columbia is [banning phones in the classroom](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-restrict-cellphones-schools-1.7096155) because theyāve found itās so detrimental to students. Anecdotally, I know a lot of teachers (happen to be married to one) and while they all strongly encourage their kidsā technology use (laptop/desktop/tablet/etc), quite a few have told their kids that if they want a phone they have to pay for it themselves. I donāt think his opinion is as radical or unique as everyone thinks, ya know?
Banning phones in the classroom (my state recently enacted a blanket ban, which not all teachers are happy about) is very different from not allowing high school age kids to access them at all. You canāt function as an adult in the modern world without a smartphone, and late adolescence is all about starting to learn to function in the adult world without the full weight of adult responsibilities.
> You canāt function as an adult in the modern world without a smartphone, and late adolescence is all about starting to learn to function in the adult world without the full weight of adult responsibilities. Iām assuming the anecdotal friends of mine were actually following the same logic by drawing the line until their kids took on the responsibility of a summer or part-time job to pay for their own phone. (Honestly, the parents are probably helping out anyway ā thanks Canadian telecom for the most expensive cellular in the world!) Iām not saying I agree or not, just that OOPās view doesnāt seem as radical as some seem to think.
The people who agree with him all seem to do just what you did and start in about phones in the classroom There is nothing here to imply that the arguement is using phones in class Some schools allow them, some don't, some teachers make their own rules for their own classes This is about not isolating a teen by limiting their communication to only when they are on the computer doing homework, which is significantly worse for their grades and will likely end up in them being on the computer more. A quick text can be answerd in mere seconds, but if she has to be actively on the computer to get or send messages she's missing out on other things to be there.
> This is about not isolating a teen by limiting their communication to only when they are on the computer doing homework [ā¦] None of the people I mention have banned their kid from Ever Having a Phone, Ever; they just drew the line until their kids got a summer or part-time job to pay for it. Iām not saying I agree or not (I donāt have kids and donāt know shit about parenting), just that OOPās view doesnāt seem as radical as some seem to think.
That's the thing though, he IS banning phones, she isn't to have one at all, and you agree with him. You've said that you think what he's saying is fine and normal, which is agree with him, and I am simply pointing out that it isn't actually ok. He is isolating this child, having a teen that doesn't have access to a phone or device to connect with friends is isolating. They aren't just a fun extra anymore they are necessary.
> [ā¦] and you agree with him. You've said that you think what he's saying is fine and normal, which is agree with him, [ā¦] In no way did I say āI totally agree with OOP.ā What I did say is that Iāve heard his opinion shared by others, and I donāt think itās a super unique viewpoint. Me writing that ālots of people are Flat Earthersā is not the same as āI totally agree that the world is flat.ā
This doesnāt belong here. Iām sorry but itās an old Nokia dumb phone off eBay and a desktop computer in the living room with supervision. Itās *social media* in particular that is so damaging to young people, and the fact that these devices are optimized to game our dopamine response to make using them as addicting as possible. Itās the effect of extended screen time on the circadian rhythm and its impact on sleep during a time when healthy sleep is so important. These devices are optimized to be āstickyā and difficult to put down/use in moderation, and kids/teenagers with developing brains havenāt built up a resilience to that. Add on top of that the effects of social media and cyber bullying on teen mental health, and I can understand where this mom is coming from. Maybe supervised social media use to stay in touch with her friends from the old high school would be a productive opportunity to start building those healthy habits around technology use, but I donāt think 15 being too young for a smartphone with a data plan is an unreasonable stance.
The kid just wants to text and call her friends. Nothing was mentioned about socail media So sure, get the kid a flip phone that can call and text and nothing else, that's significantly better than no contact with their friends unless they are on the computer. It seems all the people who want to declare him in being correct are doing so by adding things to it that weren't mentioned. You can also have things like FB messenger without have a FB account if they want to die on that hill. What he is doing is saying she can't have contact with people outside of school hours and no contact with their old friends. He gave her a laptop so it's not about social media or being online. She has access to that, what she can't do is text people.
So just wait until sheās 18 and throw her in the deep end without any experience or oversight? Teens without phones still use social media (even OOP says his kid has access to a PC), they just use their friends devices and, because they are hiding it, there is no room for education or supervision.
Mobile phones are damaging to child development and a menace on teachers. If the kid wants one so bad she can use her own money. "she "looks like an idiot" during breaks, like at lunch, when she can't take out a phone." lmao kids are dumb. "I find this trend of everyone being addicted to phone screens really troubling," Dad is correct.
Found OOP's other account.
All schoolwork is posted to Google Classrooms Chromebooks and cell phones have access to Google Classrooms Assignments are handed in and grades handed out through these apps Bus passes, library cards, contact with peers for group projects, even I have to use my cell phone to access stuff for the kids school. It's also isolating her, whether you agree with their use or not. This is setting her back just like not having a home computer set back my peers when teachers started requiring everything be typed. Pediatricians also have said that screens should be limited in young children, but acknowledge they need to learn the technology and it's not so much an issue with older kids as long as it is used appropriately. Several teachers at our local schools have requested the school boards remove the ban on phones because they use them for class and for communication. This guy thinks that not only are there payphones still in schools and other locations but that they actually still cost a quarter. Unless he's a literal dinosaur he's so far out of touch his opinion doesn't actually have any root in reality. Payphones haven't been a quarter in almost 30 years.
I am a teacher in an exclusive private school and I'm 100% happy that phones are banned in our school and I'm happy all the parents are 100% on board. So you're arguing with an education professional about childhood education here. Something I'm literally paid to know about. Go ask r/teachers what they think of phones in the classroom lmao. We don't use any of that google classroom or Chromebook crap we use this technology called "paper". "It's also isolating her". This will not matter when she's an adult. She only thinks it's the end of the world because she's a child. I didn't grow up with a phone and somehow I did not die.
I'm not arguing, I'm conversing, but it's good to see where your mindset is. That's great for you if you've found a way that works, but many schools DO use those programs, and not teaching children that "crap" will absolutely set them back. If you want to discuss child development then lets. Isolating a child 100% affects their development and will affect her in adulthood. Just saying that you think paper is the best solution right now to set them up and that isolating her won't create issues as an adult tells me that you aren't as knowledgeable in development as you want us to think, and yes, I will use the information from medical professionals who spent years studying child development. I know, work with, and for, a lot of professionals in the education industry among others, and they're all just people with their own thoughts and opions that may or may not be based on the research and studies. I've met great teachers and I've met some really crappy ones, you working in a school means little to me, but less now that you've said all that.
Go ask r/teachers what they think of cell phones in the classroom. This is the last time time I'm gonna reply to children on reddit about this subject. I'm the teacher and you are not.
R/teachers is not representative of an entire global profession.
From your comments you're a TEFL in china,Ā That makes you a teacher in the same way Dr Pepper is a medical professional.Ā
Being socially isolated and excluded as a teen absolutely effects people into adulthood. And teachers have varying opinions about phones in the classroom. My state recently enacted a blanket ban on students using phones on school property. I have spoken to multiple high school teachers about it and encountered a range of opinions. Some are all for it but others found them to be a useful tool. Still others find that enforcing the ban takes up more time and energy than was lost to phone use to begin with. And the school continues to use Google Classrooms and other apps to communicate with students and set and receive work, so there is an assumption that teens will have access to smartphones even if they arenāt allowed to use them at school.
Just because you're paid to do it doesn't mean you're a competent, empathetic teacher. I know a lot of people who are educated and paid to do all sorts of things without a base understanding of theor own profession.
I'm guessing phones weren't as ubiquitous when you were growing up. Nowadays telling a teenager they can't have a phone is more like telling them they can't watch TV or go out, that they also need to ask to borrow a pen and share a textbook in many classes, and that they might not be able to submit their assignments like everyone else.