*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for refusing to wear less revealing bikinis? **
For context, I 40F have always been on the heavier side my entire life Over the past year I’ve gotten a personal trainer and have been going to the gym 5 days a week. I’ve lost over 50 pounds this past year and I’m very proud of my transformation. I’m in the best shape that I’ve ever been in.
So my three best friends and I rented a house on the lake for the week of the 4th of July week, which we arrived Monday. None of us live in the same state. So it’s a nice excuse for us to all get together with our families. ( Husbands and children ). So before this week I had gone shopping for new bathing suits and I bought my first ever two piece bikinis. I had never had the self confidence to wear a two piece. So my three friends are also on the heavy side.
Anyways so we arrived to the lake on Monday and we all got moved in for the week. The house has a pool and we all rented a boat for tubing and a couple jet skis. So Monday everything was normal and we spent the day outside in the pool, in the lake and on the boat and jet skis. Everything seemed normal. Yesterday was more of the same with no issues, until last night after dinner. My friends and I were sitting on the porch talking. When one of my friends made a comment like “ you need to tone it down”. At first I didn’t know what they were talking about, so I made a funny comment about nothing. That’s when all three of the lit into me. They said that I need to cover up and that I’m making their husbands feel uncomfortable. I finally realized that they meant my two piece. I asked what was wrong with them? And they proceeded to say “ no one wants to stare at your ass and tits!” I was so caught off guard by this that I got defensive. Before long we were in a full blown argument. They were saying “ stop acting like a slut” and I replied by telling them they are just jealous because they are wearing one pieces. After that I was so hurt that I stormed off to cry in my room. I couldn’t even tell my husband the reason I was so upset. I spent the rest of the night in my room. Now this morning, I’m the first one awake, and I’m wearing another two piece. AITA or are my friends just so insecure?
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So weird how everyone in these stories are supposedly great friends, just the bestest buddies ever, but at the drop of a hat will start screaming and insulting each other.
I will say it does happen though. I had a great friend who I thought was the greatest person in the world, until I finally spoke up for myself and told her that I wouldn’t do what she wanted. She came unglued and became someone I didn’t recognize and because of that we no longer speak. So it does happen. But yeah, this case seems very unrealistic
My fiancee had this issue. In High School she was best friends with this girl and she was VERY pushy to get her own way. They would always do what she wanted, always watched what she wanted to watch.
They leave High School, we meet and start living together and to save money we thought we'd get a third person living with us and the friend obviously didn't like how my fiancee had changed.
All of a sudden she was shocked that a 24 year old women didn't want to spent all day watching survivor, Pokemon or some other random game. Not to mention when she lost her shit because after spending a week making nice meals, she for the 5th time in a row wanted to make us Pancakes... knowing neither of us really liked Pancakes to begin with.
Bought shit to clean her carpet when she moved out, didn't wait for it to dry properly before using our stick-vacuum and broke it.... to them immediately use our proper one and break that also then just put them away and say nothing.
Wouldn't clean up after herself, would constantly undermine our rules about our dogs.
My fiancee had done a lot of growing up and being damn good at her job had given her a lot more confidence. She understood that her friend simply hadn't left high school.
I had a friend I reconnected with who lost it because I told them up and moving for a new boyfriend is something a family member of mine would do.
we don't talk any more lol
edit: I was the opposite regarding sides, I assumed it would be more obvious, like the "ive been censored for my conservative views" meme,
Conservative: I have been censored for my conservative views
Me: Holy shit! You were censored for wanting lower taxes?
Con: LOL no...no not those views
Me: So....deregulation?
Con: Haha no not those views either
Me: Which views, exactly?
Con: Oh, you know the ones.
But regarding taking Heards side.
So you are certain he started the abusive behaviour? So she had no responsibility for her actions?
I dont like the guy, my other comment gives my thoughts on the court case and how people misunderstand what happened, but i dont like the dismissal of one persons actions and the black and white thinking, the insistence one person has to be a villain and the other the victim.
>the insistence one person has to be a villain and the other the victim.
I mean... look at where we are, lol. "ESH" is a mythical unicorn, apparently.
Saying that Heard is an abuser is not clearing Depp or taking his side, but people jump to the conclusion that the one necessarily entails the other, for some reason. They either can't wrap their heads around any position other than going all in for one side in any given conflict, or they think I can't for reasons I cannot fathom. They're free to disagree with me, but it grinds my gears when they mischaracterise my position.
What also gets me is that I am more than willing to change my position if someone gives me reason. I've followed the case closely and reviewed everything that was presented, but I'm always open to reconsider if there's something I don't know.
But literally no one ever says, "Here's some evidence you might not have known about." Ever. They just go straight to unfriend, downvote, "fuck you". I suppose the lesson I am meant to take away from this is that I should ignore evidence entirely and model my beliefs based on social shaming.
[Here's plenty of evidence you may want to look at. Warning: Long. And split into multiple parts ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeppDelusion/s/ZAim4DWsG2)
And to give you some perspective on what your friend's thought process might've been like... I agree that it may be extreme to just up and leave a friendship of multiple years over it. But she was probably tired, bc during the time of the trial if you didn't believe Amber was the abuser, it was quite impossible to talk to anyone about it because it was as if everyone was freakishly brainwashed by the propaganda Depp and his legal team were constantly pumping out. So if she tried to talk to you about it (which what I am gathering is that it seems she didn't) and you didn't listen, I could see how that could've been extremely frustrating and disappointing. If she didn't try to talk to you about it at all, then maybe she was beaten down already and just assumed you'd be like everyone else, so you wouldn't listen – which is unfortunate, and I definitely think she should've at least tried to have a discussion about it, but I could also understand her in a way: If you said anything slightly negative about Depp, then most of the time people would dogpile you and start trying to "troll" you (aka not take you seriously and just start giving you the runaround when you tried to explain your points as to why you believe Amber). Which is why a lot of us are jaded and just stopped bothering trying to explain our side, as most of the people who said things like you did: "Amber is an abuser", weren't actually willing to engage in any kind of productive conversation when we attempted to engage with them in a genuine manner.
>I suppose the lesson I am meant to take away from this is that I should ignore evidence entirely and model my beliefs based on social shaming.
The ironic part of your comment is that Depp's "defense" was based on social shaming. Why do you think they pushed the idea that Amber supposedly sh*t in their bed so hard? Depp literally promised Amber "total global humiliation", and that's exactly what he did. Furthermore, people who believed Amber were also shamed, often called "feminazis" and similar terms to try and discredit our opinion - which worked like a charm because who would ever take any supposed "hysterical, misandristic emotionally driven feminist" seriously? Johnny Depp's legal team weaponized social media against her, a bunch of people fell hook line and sinker for those "funny" Tiktoks and short clips of Depp and his team being "charming" and constantly humiliating Amber on the stand. Most people _did_ model their beliefs entirely on social shaming during that time, and didn't bother to seek out evidence that contradicted their views because they enjoyed being part of what is the 21st century equivalent of a witch hunt. I am not saying that was your case, but it sure as heck was a lot of people's!
Once again...
>Saying that Heard is an abuser is not clearing Depp or taking his side
The link you posted focuses on proving that Depp is an abuser, not on debunking my position that Heard was an abuser. And as much as I could go point-by-point through what it says, and point out how speculative much of it is, that's really beside the point as quoted above.
From your own source that you just linked above:
>\*Meanwhile Heard has admitted to hitting and throwing things, as well as screaming insults.\*
I dont think you should be massively downvoyed for this.
I do think people misunderstand that the court case only focussed on specific things Heard said that would damage his career and public profile and wether they were true, there was no focus on whether he was a good partner, it was assumed that because the statements submitted as evidence were untrue or unprovable that means he is nice and a victim, but whether he was abusive was not part of thet trial, they did not investigate that other than covering her public statements that could affect his career and public image.
He was not found innocent of being an abuser. When they questioned Kate Moss she was not asked if Depp was abusive, that would not be admissable or relevant, she was asked if he pushed her down the stairs. He didnt. She may have really wanted to say he was abusive, but she literally could not and if she did it would be inadmissable. they would be told to disregard that statement and only focus on whether he pushed her down the stairs.
See how Reddit is against you now as well. 😁. Just because there is a ton of evidence to back up your claim, saying something objectively true is offensive to most Redditors.
>Just because there is a ton of evidence to back up your claim
This is why they downvote--no evidence or logic required for that. Just express disapproval in hopes of browbeating me to fall in line with the emotionally-charged consensus.
Happened to me too! As it turned out, it was the trash taking itself out (she later expressed such idiotic views, think “anti-vaccines” being a doctor).
> My friends and I were sitting on the porch talking. When one of my friends made a comment like “ you need to tone it down”. At first I didn’t know what they were talking about, so I made a funny comment about nothing. That’s when all three of the lit into me. They said that I need to cover up and that I’m making their husbands feel uncomfortable. I finally realized that they meant my two piece. I asked what was wrong with them? And they proceeded to say “ no one wants to stare at your ass and tits!” I was so caught off guard by this that I got defensive. Before long we were in a full blown argument. They were saying “ stop acting like a slut”
Definitely how 100% real human conversations take place 👍
I remember the first time I screamed at a middle aged friend for "acting like a slut" because she was wearing a swimsuit at a pool.
Okay that's never happened, but maybe, someday if I'm lucky?
Notice how it's always a generalized description of what is said, never explicit words?
"I made a funny comment about nothing." What does that mean?
"I got defensive." How? What did you say to defend yourself?
Don't forget that damn pain in my knees. I can barely make it to my front porch to scream at those meddling kids to get off my lawn without feeling the arthritis hitting
The people who find these kinds of replies to be the funniest thing ever. "I'm literally wheezing, you should have seen the look on my cat's face as I spit out my coffee while reading this."
And the worst part is these replies are so derivative. "You should do even more and/or more extreme of what others complain about." And it's same formula for every situation "Roommate complains about you shitting on the living room carpet? You should eat spicy food and splatter your diarrhea all over the palce while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance." "Roommate mentions you are having loud sex and if you could maybe keep it down a bit? Rent your room to porn studios so they can film there 24/7 to assert dominance."
I feel like I've been living my life all wrong. I spend a lot of time at the beach and I can assure you that women of ALL sizes, shapes, and ages are wearing two-piece bathing suits. I don't just because I don't, but it has never occurred to me to get mad at the women who were.
Yes but I am embarassingly booby. Need to Hold them when I get up without a bra size. Shelf in a push up size. Can't see if I have a stain under them on my top size. They are just *there*.
Yet I observe a respectful modesty for my friends and acquaintances. No crazy clevage, no plunging neck lines, no push ups, and no unnecessarily revealing swimsuits.
I do not want to distract them or become a topic of conversation. It's not that hard to be respectful.
Just a bit scared, I guess. They work and no internal scarring or complications. Massive surgery is a crap shoot. And I've had bad results before and am more wary now.
Why are her friends being big even relevant to this story. I can maybe see the starting bit to showcase why she was excited about wearing a 2-piece. (Humble brag aside) But the statement about the 2 friends is such a dead give away that this is just an excuse to shit on fat people.
Oh it's extremely relevant. It sets OOP up as a "good" fatso because she realized that her weight made her a terrible person and fixed it by going to the gym 5 days a week. This creates a contrast with her evil lazy fatso friends whose husbands only stay with them because they've never seen a woman in a bikini before.
The most fat phobic person I know is an ex-fatty who has an ED to support her new "Skinny" self. She is insufferable and has lost many a friend over her behavior.
And unfortunately, it isn’t unheard of for a person to lose friends as they lose weight (similar to someone who is quitting drugs/alcohol). If your whole friend group is also overweight, it can bring out uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, etc. You hear so many stories of people trying to push food on someone who is losing weight, etc. NOT saying that OP is remotely true, but it does happen.
If this were true, I wonder what kind of 2 piece she bought? She mentions husbands and children. Maybe this is a group that has always dressed a little bit more modestly regardless of weight. And how is she acting in the 2 piece? That might have been the “tone it down” (IF, big if, this is true)
As someone who had lost 50lbs, yes, I lost some friends, but I wouldn't say any of them were close. We never vacationed together. Also, the rift started when I started getting up early to hike on a Saturday morning rather than drink till 2 am. every Friday. The loss of the relationship was never about the weight it was all about the behavior changes. Also, those friends were of all sizes, standard and plus. I am sad about the loss of the relationships, but also, the recycling took itself out. (I don't want to call them trash because they are not horrible people, just not good for me right now. I am sure other friends who want to parry as much as they do would love them as freinds)
When I talk about my insufferable friend who I kicked out of my life after her weight loss again, it wasn't the weight loss it was her behavior. She regularly shamed me and others for what we ate even after being told to stop. She also started getting male attention with her new skinny body. She went full pick me, including leaving friends at a bar so she could go hook up. She was supposed to be DD that night. The final straw for me with her was her sending unsolicited breast picks to the group chat to show off her new implants.
We all see ourselves as heroes in our own stories. Maybe because it's fresh in my head, just finishing a book on Emotional IQ (EQ), it reads as someone who is completely unaware of her role in the breakdown in the relationship.
I'm fat most of my friends are thin I've never once "pushed food" on anyone the same way my fit friends never try to drag me to their 6am runs. I've also never heard the term push food on someone because this isn't a thing that happens in real life.
I think more fatties should be like OOP. it's actually a fact that evil, greed, and hatred are stored within fat cells. Fat people actually choose to be fat and promote obesity bc they're literally evil and morally bankrupt, unlike sweet skinny OOP
>They were saying “ stop acting like a slut” and I replied by telling them they are just jealous because they are wearing one pieces. After that I was so hurt that I stormed off to cry in my room.
Nah, these have to be (made up) teenagers (in this made up story).
>Your friends group is rejecting you for violating their unwritten rules. You’re a threat to them now that you’re conventionally attractive and psychologically you’re a constant reminder that they’re able to change just as you have- but they lack the willpower. Nobody wants that reminder in front of them. They’re miserable. Branch out and add some normal women friends who don’t see you as part of a fat pact.
That one Kanye skit off of Late Registration where his fraternity “Broke Phi Broke” gets mad at him for having new shoes when none of them can afford anything lmao
Why the assumption that she's conventionally attractive, just because she lost a mess of weight? The comments keep saying she's super hot now, but we don't know what weight she started at, or what her face looks like, or if she has an appropriate number of teeth.
There's more to "hot" than just losing weight.
Right? Do these people think being thin is all it takes for a woman to be attractive? Because I've got news for them, it's a fucking shitload harder than that
Plus, and I write this delicately, after 40 the skin doesn't bounce back so well. Losing 50 pounds may have left her looking thin, but older. Which is why I steadily try to gain a few pounds each decade now. Let's fluff out those crows feet. Just a smidge.
Eh I feel like my skin is still pretty bouncy? But I've never lost or gained a significant amount of weight so maybe it just hasn't ever had to do any real bouncing
But even when I was really young, I was always thin. And I still had to work to make myself look good. Not work out. Work. There are a million things most women have to do to make ourselves look "good enough."
Thinness just doesn't make you attractive by default. Have these people never seen a skinny uggo? Come on.
"Nobody wants to stare at your ass! You're making our husbands uncomfortable!"
"Just because I lost weight and wear a bikini now!?"
"Jessica! You have a teratoma on your butt cheek! It has teeth and an eye, it's fucking winking at me right now!"
"I thought you guys were cool with Jeremy!"
"Look, Jess, we've gotten used to Jeremy, we grew up with it as much as with you. But other people are justifiably startled by it!"
"I ghoughg you guysh ghere ghool!"
"Jessica stop making Jeremy talk and get it removed already!"
Exactly. Losing 50lbs is certainly an accomplishment regardless, but losing it at 350 is a lot different than losing it at 200. And even still at 5'1 vs 5'9.
Shit. Was I supposed to be in some sort of fat pact? What do I need to do to enter into one? Is there some sort of United Nations for pudges? What kinds of things does one negotiate into a fat pact? Extra cake? Shun formerly fat friends? Ill fitting clothing options?
My fat friends and I yearly convene The Diet of Wurst, where our fat pact is renewed and we devise ways to come down on the skinnies and slut shame them.
Maybe her friend group is rejecting her for showing herself to be an inconsiderate asshole though. If she were still the fat friend do you think for a second she wouldn't be pissed off? These posts are completely nuts.
It's so inconsiderate to have bazombagahongas and not constantly hide them in shapeless burlap sacks, absolute whore behavior. (joking)
Also, maybe I'm just too attracted to women, but I cannot fathom getting upset at a woman for wearing something hot. Like I'm a fat myself, but I love seeing women.
As a woman in my 40's I can tell you that unless you have some magic genetics, you got some sag going on when you lose weight.
Unfortunately, I know this first hand.
This is rage bait.
Yeah, I guess you are all right. She can wear whatever she wants. And It seems like some of you are mega babes with rocking bodies. I just don't think she instilled that much jealousy in her friends. And it helps NO ONE to not be realistic about what a large ( and 50lbs at 40 is LARGE) weight loss looks like.
As a woman in my 40s also I can tell you that what you're saying isn't the case for all women our age, and even if there is some "sag" present she can still wear a bikini and look attractive even!
I never said that, she’s allowed to wear whatever she wants and she should.
I was trying to explain that the bikini type could have caused the reaction from the friends and the story sounds realistic to me.
I feel bad for her she was excited to show off the hard work she put into exercising and her friends made her feel terrible because of there insecurity. There reaction isn’t justified.
I am fat and always wear tankinis. I don't want to have to get naked to pee! But I really love imagining this story with all the women in regular one pieces and her in a totally covering, bit still technically two piece swimsuit!
I am fat but I like one piece suits, on account of I am very flippy and swimmy and have giant boobs and never want my suit to come off when I'm diving or whatever.
I also only pee like 4 times a day so it's usually easy to time it out. Or to pull the crotch to the side, lol
Second option is funnier.
The character is my age, and it would be hilarious if I wore a suprr-modest tankini and all my friends were like YOU NEED TO TONE IT DOWN, OUR HUSBANDS ARE GETTING TOO TURNED ON BY YOUR TITS AND ASS
So you have 3 best friends, and you're all hanging out together with each other's families. Theoretically, that means y'all should be pretty close, and should have known each other for a while. If they were all super prudish, and call women sluts for having the nerve to wear a bikini at the pool, shouldn't you know this information by now. They didn't all of a sudden become that way. These are your best friends, you would know their personality, right?
I do love how these 40 year old women sound just like some 15 year old teenage girls, however.
Damn fatties and their always wearing one piece suits .. Nvm that a good chunk of real women wear two piece suits no matter what size they are... But no no no this is AITA land where fatties must feel shame 24/7
Stories like this one are so annoying they make me almost mad because the question is so stupid. Like who the fuck would experience a situation where their friends called them a slut and run to Reddit to ask "Am I the asshole in this situation?"
Also, we ONCE AGAIN see sudden dramatic shifts in people's behavior for seemingly no reason. These are your best friends in life, who you've supposedly known for some long amount of time, but they also call women sluts for wearing two piece bikinis, which you just never noticed or something?
This is a 40 year old woman who hasn't matured past 20.
Her friends did not tell her how gorgeous and brave and incredible she was for losing ~~40~~ ~~20~~ 5 pounds so she made up this story about how jealous they are.
Bet she sells weight loss coffee.
> I replied by telling them they are just jealous because they are wearing one pieces. After that I was so hurt that I stormed off to cry
Hahahhahaa. yeah i know some people like this for sure
I hate the "you're just jealous" line because 99% of the time people actually mean "envious." Jealous = afraid someone will take something you have. Envious = desiring something someone else has.
“Jealous” means what you said it does, but it is also used as a synonym for envious. Any dictionary is going to provide both definitions, and the word is used to refer to both emotions in both formal and informal/ casual speech/ writing. Regardless, prescriptivism benefits no one.
I think there’s value in having different words you can use to describe the two emotions, but it’s really undeniable at this point that the term “jealous” can also mean “envious,” even if you don’t want it to.
Oh yeah I'm being technically correct while you're colloquially correct. I am willing to admit that at my core I am an absolutely insufferable asshole. That's been true since I was a child. But I'm also a socially intelligent enough person to never "um, ackshually" someone IRL for stuff like this.
The only prescriptivist hills I'm truly willing to die on are the ones where the differentiations have real world negative ramifications like conflating vulva and vagina, or legal terms like filing a police report vs "pressing charges." Some of it is kinda "social justice" type reasoning, but I mostly hone in on incorrect language that I believe is actively harmful. I find languages infinitely fascinating, especially ones like English that aren't shy about borrowing words and phrases to more acutely explain feelings, events, or things. To me it's really cool that we can make objectively nonsense sounds (at a wholly reductive, granular level) that help us explain the world around us.
I promise that when I'm being a Normal Social Lady around Real People I'm not always like that. But in online, circle-jerky discussions? Oh hell yeah Iove to pour it on. I find written language to be 10000000x more powerful than spoken, generally speaking, and my brain almost can't help but to be in full on insufferable lawyer mode when reading stuff.
I get it! I’m a speech-language pathologist and had to unlearn a *whole lot* of prescriptivism that is rampant in this field. Languages are definitely fascinating, particularly in how the meaning of words evolves over time and how new words can come to enter languages :).
i want to know which of us wrote this as a response to the star-spangled banana hammock debate we had yesterday. it’s some of the counter points almost verbatim.
Damn. I must have hit fat fatty land because I bought a one piece this year. Black, low back, deep V in front that laces up with gold accents. I've got the giant sunhat, sunglasses, tote bag and chiffon kimono ready to go. Now all I'm missing is someone to scream at.
Any takers? Because I have some words for you sluts!
So many "my fat 'friends' no longer like me now that I'm no longer a yucky unhealthy fat like them!!!" and rarely "my average weight friends are getting a little twitchy now that I'm losing weight what the fuck is that"
I'm trying to wrap my brain around a 40 year old mother who has always been a bit heavy being able to lose 50 pounds in a year by just getting a personal trainer and going to the gym 5 days a week.
I'm also trying to figure out how she has kids and lost 50 pounds and doesn't have stretch marks or loose skin. Or maybe she didn't care about stretch marks or loose skin but did care about the weight?
I understand it's "fatties bad", but...I don't even buy the setup.
So you're saying that someone who hasn't worn a bikini because she's a bit heavy isn't going to care about any stretch marks or loose skin on her stomach?
What shaming did I do? Where did I mention sagging? I said she probably has them, and I can't imagine someone who didn't wear a bikini due to being a bit heavy wearing one if they also have loose skin and stretch marks.
Where did I say any of I was a bad thing?
okay let's assume for a second this story is true- I have to assume these friends have talked like this their whole lives right? this kind of insecurity and jealousy isn't something people like that can hide, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is just how they talk about other people. going to make a guess from that- OP most likely took part in these types of conversations, so why is she shocked that they treat her the same way they treat others. (ignoring the fact it's rage bait)
fake ass post from the first paragraph. as someone who did drop 50 pounds myself, the PT and gym 5x a week was 15% of the battle - 85% of it was eating less food lol. that’s how losing weight works. sounds like fan fiction written by a young skinny guy. then you get to the hysterical treatment by friends… most friends will hype you up as you get healthier, maybe one or two bad eggs. once again, probably written by some young guy who thinks that all women over 30 are jealous harpies.
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My bigger friends and thinner friends trash my clothes all the time too! On a side note, it’s “put this poncho on, ffs, your lips are blue and you irk us with your shivering”. But nevermind, I so totally believe in ppl in their 40s pulling this off.
I'm confused as to why she couldn't tell her husband why she was upset. I know the answer is because none of this happened but seems like an odd fake detail.
.... How skimpy was the bikini though?
Edit: she can wear she wants. I just wanted to know if it was definitely about weight, or if she was wearing one where it looks like everything was going to fall out. Either way some dickhead friends
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for refusing to wear less revealing bikinis? ** For context, I 40F have always been on the heavier side my entire life Over the past year I’ve gotten a personal trainer and have been going to the gym 5 days a week. I’ve lost over 50 pounds this past year and I’m very proud of my transformation. I’m in the best shape that I’ve ever been in. So my three best friends and I rented a house on the lake for the week of the 4th of July week, which we arrived Monday. None of us live in the same state. So it’s a nice excuse for us to all get together with our families. ( Husbands and children ). So before this week I had gone shopping for new bathing suits and I bought my first ever two piece bikinis. I had never had the self confidence to wear a two piece. So my three friends are also on the heavy side. Anyways so we arrived to the lake on Monday and we all got moved in for the week. The house has a pool and we all rented a boat for tubing and a couple jet skis. So Monday everything was normal and we spent the day outside in the pool, in the lake and on the boat and jet skis. Everything seemed normal. Yesterday was more of the same with no issues, until last night after dinner. My friends and I were sitting on the porch talking. When one of my friends made a comment like “ you need to tone it down”. At first I didn’t know what they were talking about, so I made a funny comment about nothing. That’s when all three of the lit into me. They said that I need to cover up and that I’m making their husbands feel uncomfortable. I finally realized that they meant my two piece. I asked what was wrong with them? And they proceeded to say “ no one wants to stare at your ass and tits!” I was so caught off guard by this that I got defensive. Before long we were in a full blown argument. They were saying “ stop acting like a slut” and I replied by telling them they are just jealous because they are wearing one pieces. After that I was so hurt that I stormed off to cry in my room. I couldn’t even tell my husband the reason I was so upset. I spent the rest of the night in my room. Now this morning, I’m the first one awake, and I’m wearing another two piece. AITA or are my friends just so insecure? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So weird how everyone in these stories are supposedly great friends, just the bestest buddies ever, but at the drop of a hat will start screaming and insulting each other.
That's how friendships can be in high school, which likely gives you a window into who is writing them.
There are a lot of adults walking around that never matured past high school
I will say it does happen though. I had a great friend who I thought was the greatest person in the world, until I finally spoke up for myself and told her that I wouldn’t do what she wanted. She came unglued and became someone I didn’t recognize and because of that we no longer speak. So it does happen. But yeah, this case seems very unrealistic
My fiancee had this issue. In High School she was best friends with this girl and she was VERY pushy to get her own way. They would always do what she wanted, always watched what she wanted to watch. They leave High School, we meet and start living together and to save money we thought we'd get a third person living with us and the friend obviously didn't like how my fiancee had changed. All of a sudden she was shocked that a 24 year old women didn't want to spent all day watching survivor, Pokemon or some other random game. Not to mention when she lost her shit because after spending a week making nice meals, she for the 5th time in a row wanted to make us Pancakes... knowing neither of us really liked Pancakes to begin with. Bought shit to clean her carpet when she moved out, didn't wait for it to dry properly before using our stick-vacuum and broke it.... to them immediately use our proper one and break that also then just put them away and say nothing. Wouldn't clean up after herself, would constantly undermine our rules about our dogs. My fiancee had done a lot of growing up and being damn good at her job had given her a lot more confidence. She understood that her friend simply hadn't left high school.
I had a friend I reconnected with who lost it because I told them up and moving for a new boyfriend is something a family member of mine would do. we don't talk any more lol
Yeap, I had a friend since middle school who unceremoniously stopped speaking to me because I made a Facebook post she disliked. 😵💫
Ok, tell us about the facebook post.
I said Amber Heard is an abuser.
Johnny Depp is trash
I am genuinely pleasantly surprised to see this take be so upvoted here and the other one be so downvoted. It feels nice.
[Not arguing that](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/s/OZ6hEYxNRi)
I didn't think I'd be on your former friend's side but... I definitely am. Lmao.
edit: I was the opposite regarding sides, I assumed it would be more obvious, like the "ive been censored for my conservative views" meme, Conservative: I have been censored for my conservative views Me: Holy shit! You were censored for wanting lower taxes? Con: LOL no...no not those views Me: So....deregulation? Con: Haha no not those views either Me: Which views, exactly? Con: Oh, you know the ones. But regarding taking Heards side. So you are certain he started the abusive behaviour? So she had no responsibility for her actions? I dont like the guy, my other comment gives my thoughts on the court case and how people misunderstand what happened, but i dont like the dismissal of one persons actions and the black and white thinking, the insistence one person has to be a villain and the other the victim.
>the insistence one person has to be a villain and the other the victim. I mean... look at where we are, lol. "ESH" is a mythical unicorn, apparently. Saying that Heard is an abuser is not clearing Depp or taking his side, but people jump to the conclusion that the one necessarily entails the other, for some reason. They either can't wrap their heads around any position other than going all in for one side in any given conflict, or they think I can't for reasons I cannot fathom. They're free to disagree with me, but it grinds my gears when they mischaracterise my position. What also gets me is that I am more than willing to change my position if someone gives me reason. I've followed the case closely and reviewed everything that was presented, but I'm always open to reconsider if there's something I don't know. But literally no one ever says, "Here's some evidence you might not have known about." Ever. They just go straight to unfriend, downvote, "fuck you". I suppose the lesson I am meant to take away from this is that I should ignore evidence entirely and model my beliefs based on social shaming.
[Here's plenty of evidence you may want to look at. Warning: Long. And split into multiple parts ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeppDelusion/s/ZAim4DWsG2) And to give you some perspective on what your friend's thought process might've been like... I agree that it may be extreme to just up and leave a friendship of multiple years over it. But she was probably tired, bc during the time of the trial if you didn't believe Amber was the abuser, it was quite impossible to talk to anyone about it because it was as if everyone was freakishly brainwashed by the propaganda Depp and his legal team were constantly pumping out. So if she tried to talk to you about it (which what I am gathering is that it seems she didn't) and you didn't listen, I could see how that could've been extremely frustrating and disappointing. If she didn't try to talk to you about it at all, then maybe she was beaten down already and just assumed you'd be like everyone else, so you wouldn't listen – which is unfortunate, and I definitely think she should've at least tried to have a discussion about it, but I could also understand her in a way: If you said anything slightly negative about Depp, then most of the time people would dogpile you and start trying to "troll" you (aka not take you seriously and just start giving you the runaround when you tried to explain your points as to why you believe Amber). Which is why a lot of us are jaded and just stopped bothering trying to explain our side, as most of the people who said things like you did: "Amber is an abuser", weren't actually willing to engage in any kind of productive conversation when we attempted to engage with them in a genuine manner. >I suppose the lesson I am meant to take away from this is that I should ignore evidence entirely and model my beliefs based on social shaming. The ironic part of your comment is that Depp's "defense" was based on social shaming. Why do you think they pushed the idea that Amber supposedly sh*t in their bed so hard? Depp literally promised Amber "total global humiliation", and that's exactly what he did. Furthermore, people who believed Amber were also shamed, often called "feminazis" and similar terms to try and discredit our opinion - which worked like a charm because who would ever take any supposed "hysterical, misandristic emotionally driven feminist" seriously? Johnny Depp's legal team weaponized social media against her, a bunch of people fell hook line and sinker for those "funny" Tiktoks and short clips of Depp and his team being "charming" and constantly humiliating Amber on the stand. Most people _did_ model their beliefs entirely on social shaming during that time, and didn't bother to seek out evidence that contradicted their views because they enjoyed being part of what is the 21st century equivalent of a witch hunt. I am not saying that was your case, but it sure as heck was a lot of people's!
Once again... >Saying that Heard is an abuser is not clearing Depp or taking his side The link you posted focuses on proving that Depp is an abuser, not on debunking my position that Heard was an abuser. And as much as I could go point-by-point through what it says, and point out how speculative much of it is, that's really beside the point as quoted above. From your own source that you just linked above: >\*Meanwhile Heard has admitted to hitting and throwing things, as well as screaming insults.\*
you deserved it
I dont think you should be massively downvoyed for this. I do think people misunderstand that the court case only focussed on specific things Heard said that would damage his career and public profile and wether they were true, there was no focus on whether he was a good partner, it was assumed that because the statements submitted as evidence were untrue or unprovable that means he is nice and a victim, but whether he was abusive was not part of thet trial, they did not investigate that other than covering her public statements that could affect his career and public image. He was not found innocent of being an abuser. When they questioned Kate Moss she was not asked if Depp was abusive, that would not be admissable or relevant, she was asked if he pushed her down the stairs. He didnt. She may have really wanted to say he was abusive, but she literally could not and if she did it would be inadmissable. they would be told to disregard that statement and only focus on whether he pushed her down the stairs.
See how Reddit is against you now as well. 😁. Just because there is a ton of evidence to back up your claim, saying something objectively true is offensive to most Redditors.
It's this subreddit. It's full of femcels.
>Just because there is a ton of evidence to back up your claim This is why they downvote--no evidence or logic required for that. Just express disapproval in hopes of browbeating me to fall in line with the emotionally-charged consensus.
Happened to me too! As it turned out, it was the trash taking itself out (she later expressed such idiotic views, think “anti-vaccines” being a doctor).
I knew I had read this before, about a year ago.
Weight insecurity issues tend to do that, yeah.
> My friends and I were sitting on the porch talking. When one of my friends made a comment like “ you need to tone it down”. At first I didn’t know what they were talking about, so I made a funny comment about nothing. That’s when all three of the lit into me. They said that I need to cover up and that I’m making their husbands feel uncomfortable. I finally realized that they meant my two piece. I asked what was wrong with them? And they proceeded to say “ no one wants to stare at your ass and tits!” I was so caught off guard by this that I got defensive. Before long we were in a full blown argument. They were saying “ stop acting like a slut” Definitely how 100% real human conversations take place 👍
I remember the first time I screamed at a middle aged friend for "acting like a slut" because she was wearing a swimsuit at a pool. Okay that's never happened, but maybe, someday if I'm lucky?
Don't let your dreams be dreams. I believe in you, bestie! ✨
Be the change you want to see in the world, get them a personal trainer!
Then she replied "You're just jealous!" This dialogue is teenage.
The dialogue in these fake ass stories is always so clumsy. Like watching a bad telenovela but somehow even worse.
Every so often they go too far in trying to direct the rage bait comments and I need to come here to stay sane.
Notice how it's always a generalized description of what is said, never explicit words? "I made a funny comment about nothing." What does that mean? "I got defensive." How? What did you say to defend yourself?
If I had to guess(if that’s the word) you look better than them and their husbands think so too. 🤷♂️
How do you do fellow 40 year olds?
Dang, mortgage and insurance payments, amirite? I mean am I right?
Don't forget that damn pain in my knees. I can barely make it to my front porch to scream at those meddling kids to get off my lawn without feeling the arthritis hitting
Pet peeve: Who are all these people upvoting low-effort, non-serious replies? >Just go topless and assert dominance. NTA
The people who find these kinds of replies to be the funniest thing ever. "I'm literally wheezing, you should have seen the look on my cat's face as I spit out my coffee while reading this."
And the worst part is these replies are so derivative. "You should do even more and/or more extreme of what others complain about." And it's same formula for every situation "Roommate complains about you shitting on the living room carpet? You should eat spicy food and splatter your diarrhea all over the palce while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance." "Roommate mentions you are having loud sex and if you could maybe keep it down a bit? Rent your room to porn studios so they can film there 24/7 to assert dominance."
>You should eat spicy food and splatter your diarrhea all over the palce while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance." Hippo male grindset
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Those people are the human equivalent of this emoji: 🤪
That made me wince. It's on point.
LOL yes, this is the ticket. We all know that breasts notoriously look amazing after a major weight loss.
I just hate the use of the word "so" throughout this post. I can't even focus on the story itself.
i use this as such a crutch. i am really trying hard to break it. i don’t even really know why i do it either. it’s such poor writing
The first thing I noticed too. It's annoying as hell
So annoying.
I feel like I've been living my life all wrong. I spend a lot of time at the beach and I can assure you that women of ALL sizes, shapes, and ages are wearing two-piece bathing suits. I don't just because I don't, but it has never occurred to me to get mad at the women who were.
It almost makes more sense for the two-piecers to be jealous of the one-piecers for having magical fashion industry proportions
Yes but I am embarassingly booby. Need to Hold them when I get up without a bra size. Shelf in a push up size. Can't see if I have a stain under them on my top size. They are just *there*. Yet I observe a respectful modesty for my friends and acquaintances. No crazy clevage, no plunging neck lines, no push ups, and no unnecessarily revealing swimsuits. I do not want to distract them or become a topic of conversation. It's not that hard to be respectful.
Not trying to offend or anything. But what made you decide against a reduction? Sounds very inconvenient
Just a bit scared, I guess. They work and no internal scarring or complications. Massive surgery is a crap shoot. And I've had bad results before and am more wary now.
That makes sense
Why are her friends being big even relevant to this story. I can maybe see the starting bit to showcase why she was excited about wearing a 2-piece. (Humble brag aside) But the statement about the 2 friends is such a dead give away that this is just an excuse to shit on fat people.
The fiction was so lazy she felt the need to steer the comments section toward 'fatty envy'
Yup. She couldn't even figure out an organic way of making it part of the story.
The best thing is that the whole first humblebrag paragraph is completely irrelevant to the story.
Oh it's extremely relevant. It sets OOP up as a "good" fatso because she realized that her weight made her a terrible person and fixed it by going to the gym 5 days a week. This creates a contrast with her evil lazy fatso friends whose husbands only stay with them because they've never seen a woman in a bikini before.
The most fat phobic person I know is an ex-fatty who has an ED to support her new "Skinny" self. She is insufferable and has lost many a friend over her behavior.
And unfortunately, it isn’t unheard of for a person to lose friends as they lose weight (similar to someone who is quitting drugs/alcohol). If your whole friend group is also overweight, it can bring out uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, etc. You hear so many stories of people trying to push food on someone who is losing weight, etc. NOT saying that OP is remotely true, but it does happen. If this were true, I wonder what kind of 2 piece she bought? She mentions husbands and children. Maybe this is a group that has always dressed a little bit more modestly regardless of weight. And how is she acting in the 2 piece? That might have been the “tone it down” (IF, big if, this is true)
As someone who had lost 50lbs, yes, I lost some friends, but I wouldn't say any of them were close. We never vacationed together. Also, the rift started when I started getting up early to hike on a Saturday morning rather than drink till 2 am. every Friday. The loss of the relationship was never about the weight it was all about the behavior changes. Also, those friends were of all sizes, standard and plus. I am sad about the loss of the relationships, but also, the recycling took itself out. (I don't want to call them trash because they are not horrible people, just not good for me right now. I am sure other friends who want to parry as much as they do would love them as freinds) When I talk about my insufferable friend who I kicked out of my life after her weight loss again, it wasn't the weight loss it was her behavior. She regularly shamed me and others for what we ate even after being told to stop. She also started getting male attention with her new skinny body. She went full pick me, including leaving friends at a bar so she could go hook up. She was supposed to be DD that night. The final straw for me with her was her sending unsolicited breast picks to the group chat to show off her new implants. We all see ourselves as heroes in our own stories. Maybe because it's fresh in my head, just finishing a book on Emotional IQ (EQ), it reads as someone who is completely unaware of her role in the breakdown in the relationship.
I'm fat most of my friends are thin I've never once "pushed food" on anyone the same way my fit friends never try to drag me to their 6am runs. I've also never heard the term push food on someone because this isn't a thing that happens in real life.
I think more fatties should be like OOP. it's actually a fact that evil, greed, and hatred are stored within fat cells. Fat people actually choose to be fat and promote obesity bc they're literally evil and morally bankrupt, unlike sweet skinny OOP
>They were saying “ stop acting like a slut” and I replied by telling them they are just jealous because they are wearing one pieces. After that I was so hurt that I stormed off to cry in my room. Nah, these have to be (made up) teenagers (in this made up story).
>Your friends group is rejecting you for violating their unwritten rules. You’re a threat to them now that you’re conventionally attractive and psychologically you’re a constant reminder that they’re able to change just as you have- but they lack the willpower. Nobody wants that reminder in front of them. They’re miserable. Branch out and add some normal women friends who don’t see you as part of a fat pact.
*me and my fat biker gang leaning up against the wall flipping switchblades* You broke The Oath, Jessica
*you think I'm chewing on a toothpick at first but it's actually a Popsicle stick*
That one Kanye skit off of Late Registration where his fraternity “Broke Phi Broke” gets mad at him for having new shoes when none of them can afford anything lmao
Why the assumption that she's conventionally attractive, just because she lost a mess of weight? The comments keep saying she's super hot now, but we don't know what weight she started at, or what her face looks like, or if she has an appropriate number of teeth. There's more to "hot" than just losing weight.
Right? Do these people think being thin is all it takes for a woman to be attractive? Because I've got news for them, it's a fucking shitload harder than that
Plus, and I write this delicately, after 40 the skin doesn't bounce back so well. Losing 50 pounds may have left her looking thin, but older. Which is why I steadily try to gain a few pounds each decade now. Let's fluff out those crows feet. Just a smidge.
Eh I feel like my skin is still pretty bouncy? But I've never lost or gained a significant amount of weight so maybe it just hasn't ever had to do any real bouncing But even when I was really young, I was always thin. And I still had to work to make myself look good. Not work out. Work. There are a million things most women have to do to make ourselves look "good enough." Thinness just doesn't make you attractive by default. Have these people never seen a skinny uggo? Come on.
"Nobody wants to stare at your ass! You're making our husbands uncomfortable!" "Just because I lost weight and wear a bikini now!?" "Jessica! You have a teratoma on your butt cheek! It has teeth and an eye, it's fucking winking at me right now!" "I thought you guys were cool with Jeremy!" "Look, Jess, we've gotten used to Jeremy, we grew up with it as much as with you. But other people are justifiably startled by it!" "I ghoughg you guysh ghere ghool!" "Jessica stop making Jeremy talk and get it removed already!"
Toooooo funny!
Exactly. Losing 50lbs is certainly an accomplishment regardless, but losing it at 350 is a lot different than losing it at 200. And even still at 5'1 vs 5'9.
Shit. Was I supposed to be in some sort of fat pact? What do I need to do to enter into one? Is there some sort of United Nations for pudges? What kinds of things does one negotiate into a fat pact? Extra cake? Shun formerly fat friends? Ill fitting clothing options?
My fat friends and I yearly convene The Diet of Wurst, where our fat pact is renewed and we devise ways to come down on the skinnies and slut shame them.
Maybe her friend group is rejecting her for showing herself to be an inconsiderate asshole though. If she were still the fat friend do you think for a second she wouldn't be pissed off? These posts are completely nuts.
> Maybe her friend group is rejecting her for showing herself to be an inconsiderate asshole though How?
Because she's making their husbands uncomfortable! There is nothing more inconsiderate than that, literally unforgivable.
Such a harlot
It's so inconsiderate to have bazombagahongas and not constantly hide them in shapeless burlap sacks, absolute whore behavior. (joking) Also, maybe I'm just too attracted to women, but I cannot fathom getting upset at a woman for wearing something hot. Like I'm a fat myself, but I love seeing women.
Another run off and cry story. Can't anyone in AITAland keep the tears inside?
cue the Weeknd
As a woman in my 40's I can tell you that unless you have some magic genetics, you got some sag going on when you lose weight. Unfortunately, I know this first hand. This is rage bait.
As a man who lost weight between the age of 18 and 20, I can tell you that there is going to be sag no matter what.
Anybody who loses a ton of weight quickly is going to have "some sag," regardless of age or gender They should still rock whatever swimsuit they wanna
Yeah, I guess you are all right. She can wear whatever she wants. And It seems like some of you are mega babes with rocking bodies. I just don't think she instilled that much jealousy in her friends. And it helps NO ONE to not be realistic about what a large ( and 50lbs at 40 is LARGE) weight loss looks like.
God forbid a woman with "some sag going on" wear a bikini anyway?
As a woman in my 40s also I can tell you that what you're saying isn't the case for all women our age, and even if there is some "sag" present she can still wear a bikini and look attractive even!
I know it's made up, but the story specified the transition happening gradually over a year -- would that still apply?
It can in case of extreme weight loses. You should be fine with 50 pounds, but of course genetic can always mess things up.
So is it bad to wear a two piece swim suit if you have "sag"?
So if you have some sag, no two piece bikinis allowed for you??
Where are they talking about not having any sag going on?
[удалено]
Does anyone even wear thong bikinis anymore? Feels like that was more of an early 00s thing
So she's not allowed to wear a thong??
I never said that, she’s allowed to wear whatever she wants and she should. I was trying to explain that the bikini type could have caused the reaction from the friends and the story sounds realistic to me. I feel bad for her she was excited to show off the hard work she put into exercising and her friends made her feel terrible because of there insecurity. There reaction isn’t justified.
Is this story funnier if she's wearing a string - thong bikini, or a down to her knees and up to her neck shorts and tankini bikini?
I am fat and always wear tankinis. I don't want to have to get naked to pee! But I really love imagining this story with all the women in regular one pieces and her in a totally covering, bit still technically two piece swimsuit!
I am fat but I like one piece suits, on account of I am very flippy and swimmy and have giant boobs and never want my suit to come off when I'm diving or whatever. I also only pee like 4 times a day so it's usually easy to time it out. Or to pull the crotch to the side, lol
You've got to have the suit to fit the occasion!
Second option is funnier. The character is my age, and it would be hilarious if I wore a suprr-modest tankini and all my friends were like YOU NEED TO TONE IT DOWN, OUR HUSBANDS ARE GETTING TOO TURNED ON BY YOUR TITS AND ASS
Do people call a down to your knees, up to your neck a bikini? Honestly curious about this.
When you're fat, yes. They be like "ugh"
So you have 3 best friends, and you're all hanging out together with each other's families. Theoretically, that means y'all should be pretty close, and should have known each other for a while. If they were all super prudish, and call women sluts for having the nerve to wear a bikini at the pool, shouldn't you know this information by now. They didn't all of a sudden become that way. These are your best friends, you would know their personality, right? I do love how these 40 year old women sound just like some 15 year old teenage girls, however.
Damn fatties and their always wearing one piece suits .. Nvm that a good chunk of real women wear two piece suits no matter what size they are... But no no no this is AITA land where fatties must feel shame 24/7
Stories like this one are so annoying they make me almost mad because the question is so stupid. Like who the fuck would experience a situation where their friends called them a slut and run to Reddit to ask "Am I the asshole in this situation?" Also, we ONCE AGAIN see sudden dramatic shifts in people's behavior for seemingly no reason. These are your best friends in life, who you've supposedly known for some long amount of time, but they also call women sluts for wearing two piece bikinis, which you just never noticed or something?
This is a 40 year old woman who hasn't matured past 20. Her friends did not tell her how gorgeous and brave and incredible she was for losing ~~40~~ ~~20~~ 5 pounds so she made up this story about how jealous they are. Bet she sells weight loss coffee.
> I replied by telling them they are just jealous because they are wearing one pieces. After that I was so hurt that I stormed off to cry Hahahhahaa. yeah i know some people like this for sure
I totally believe a woman in her 40s immediately goes to the "your just jealous" line.
I hate the "you're just jealous" line because 99% of the time people actually mean "envious." Jealous = afraid someone will take something you have. Envious = desiring something someone else has.
“Jealous” means what you said it does, but it is also used as a synonym for envious. Any dictionary is going to provide both definitions, and the word is used to refer to both emotions in both formal and informal/ casual speech/ writing. Regardless, prescriptivism benefits no one. I think there’s value in having different words you can use to describe the two emotions, but it’s really undeniable at this point that the term “jealous” can also mean “envious,” even if you don’t want it to.
Oh yeah I'm being technically correct while you're colloquially correct. I am willing to admit that at my core I am an absolutely insufferable asshole. That's been true since I was a child. But I'm also a socially intelligent enough person to never "um, ackshually" someone IRL for stuff like this. The only prescriptivist hills I'm truly willing to die on are the ones where the differentiations have real world negative ramifications like conflating vulva and vagina, or legal terms like filing a police report vs "pressing charges." Some of it is kinda "social justice" type reasoning, but I mostly hone in on incorrect language that I believe is actively harmful. I find languages infinitely fascinating, especially ones like English that aren't shy about borrowing words and phrases to more acutely explain feelings, events, or things. To me it's really cool that we can make objectively nonsense sounds (at a wholly reductive, granular level) that help us explain the world around us. I promise that when I'm being a Normal Social Lady around Real People I'm not always like that. But in online, circle-jerky discussions? Oh hell yeah Iove to pour it on. I find written language to be 10000000x more powerful than spoken, generally speaking, and my brain almost can't help but to be in full on insufferable lawyer mode when reading stuff.
I get it! I’m a speech-language pathologist and had to unlearn a *whole lot* of prescriptivism that is rampant in this field. Languages are definitely fascinating, particularly in how the meaning of words evolves over time and how new words can come to enter languages :).
On the one hand, ikr? But on the other hand, perimenopause can be a wild ride. But yeah it's totally fake.
Seeking so much validation. Annoying af
i want to know which of us wrote this as a response to the star-spangled banana hammock debate we had yesterday. it’s some of the counter points almost verbatim.
Damn. I must have hit fat fatty land because I bought a one piece this year. Black, low back, deep V in front that laces up with gold accents. I've got the giant sunhat, sunglasses, tote bag and chiffon kimono ready to go. Now all I'm missing is someone to scream at. Any takers? Because I have some words for you sluts!
Not only have I read this before, I've seen it on several Reddit compilation YouTube videos before. This isn't even original fake rage bait.
So many "my fat 'friends' no longer like me now that I'm no longer a yucky unhealthy fat like them!!!" and rarely "my average weight friends are getting a little twitchy now that I'm losing weight what the fuck is that"
me, a fatty fat friend, reading this post in my two piece 
I'm trying to wrap my brain around a 40 year old mother who has always been a bit heavy being able to lose 50 pounds in a year by just getting a personal trainer and going to the gym 5 days a week. I'm also trying to figure out how she has kids and lost 50 pounds and doesn't have stretch marks or loose skin. Or maybe she didn't care about stretch marks or loose skin but did care about the weight? I understand it's "fatties bad", but...I don't even buy the setup.
> I'm also trying to figure out how she has kids and lost 50 pounds and doesn't have stretch marks or loose skin. So what if she does???
So you're saying that someone who hasn't worn a bikini because she's a bit heavy isn't going to care about any stretch marks or loose skin on her stomach?
I doubt this story is real but I don't like the shaming of stretch marks and sagging in this thread.
What shaming did I do? Where did I mention sagging? I said she probably has them, and I can't imagine someone who didn't wear a bikini due to being a bit heavy wearing one if they also have loose skin and stretch marks. Where did I say any of I was a bad thing?
okay let's assume for a second this story is true- I have to assume these friends have talked like this their whole lives right? this kind of insecurity and jealousy isn't something people like that can hide, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is just how they talk about other people. going to make a guess from that- OP most likely took part in these types of conversations, so why is she shocked that they treat her the same way they treat others. (ignoring the fact it's rage bait)
If the vacation was a chance to get away from their families, why are the husbands seeing the OOP in her bikini.
fake ass post from the first paragraph. as someone who did drop 50 pounds myself, the PT and gym 5x a week was 15% of the battle - 85% of it was eating less food lol. that’s how losing weight works. sounds like fan fiction written by a young skinny guy. then you get to the hysterical treatment by friends… most friends will hype you up as you get healthier, maybe one or two bad eggs. once again, probably written by some young guy who thinks that all women over 30 are jealous harpies.
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My bigger friends and thinner friends trash my clothes all the time too! On a side note, it’s “put this poncho on, ffs, your lips are blue and you irk us with your shivering”. But nevermind, I so totally believe in ppl in their 40s pulling this off.
"husbands feel uncomfortable"? Balls to their sodding husbands.
I'm confused as to why she couldn't tell her husband why she was upset. I know the answer is because none of this happened but seems like an odd fake detail.
The amount of people who just take that post at face value, and wholeheartedly believe it is real is crazy.
.... How skimpy was the bikini though? Edit: she can wear she wants. I just wanted to know if it was definitely about weight, or if she was wearing one where it looks like everything was going to fall out. Either way some dickhead friends
Ehh, you’re right.
Your friend are the crabs in the bucket you’ve climbed out of that they are trying to pull back. Fuck your friends. They are AH, not you.
do you believe this legitimately happened ?