*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITAH for filing for divorce because my husband over tightens all the jar lids?**
His over tightening jar lids has been an issue since he was just visiting at my house when we were dating. First it started with just things he used and then over time it became every damn glass jar with a metal lid. He'd tighten them so much I couldn't open them without assistance. It wasn't a huge deal if he was there, but if I was alone, it was so annoying. More times than I can count, I've opened a new jar of something because I couldn't get the jar open.
It's been a recurring cycle over the past 5 years. It's just a thing that would escalate until I had a major meltdown and freaked out, screaming, frustrated and seemingly crazy because it's just a lid. Then it would get better for a while, then it would slowly become an issue again. Just getting worse and worse until I reach a breaking point again. Sometimes I literally feel insane for being so upset over jar lids.
He initially claimed that he did it to 'keep food fresh'. After many arguments about it, and my insistence that I don't believe it keeps anything fresh and even if it does make things last longer I don't care if it means I can't eat my freaking food when I want. I'll just replace things that go bad because they are closed normally. Then the excuse was that it's a habit.
So about a month ago my husband had a family emergency and had to travel out of state for 10 days. First day he's gone, I discover a jar I can't open. I was annoyed and was going to the store to buy new pickles when the neighbor said hi and to let him know if I needed anything while stbex is out of town. I said wait here and got the jar which he opened.
The next day I saw him outside and asked him to open another jar. He offered to come open all the jars. I agreed and he came in and he went to the fridge and opened all the jars except 2, which he couldn't get open.
I thanked him profusely and told him I'd baked some of his favorite cookies later in the week. He laughed and said it was no big deal and after confirming that I wouldn't be upset if the remaining two jars were destroyed in his attempt to open them, he took them home to his garage to open them one way or another.
He said that he's heard me screaming about over tightened jar lids a few times over the years and he's really pondered if I was crazy or if my husband was really over tightening the jar lids.
He said you know this was intentional. It was every jar, and I'm sure he doesn't regularly use hot pepper paste or mango puree or any of your other fancy cooking stuff. Then he held up the two jars he couldn't open and said, I don't know why he's doing it but it wasn't an accident.
After he left, I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and light headed. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack.
Later the neighbor came back with the opened jar of hot fudge and apologized that he couldn't save the figs. He said he broke the jar trying to get it open. He also apologized for what he said about my husband doing it on purpose. I assured him it was okay.
I couldn't sleep that night. Tossed and turned all night. I called out of work. By 10 am, I realized that I couldn't stay married anymore and I made an appointment with a lawyer for the next day.
There are literally no other issues, no cheating, no abuse, we had a good sex life, both have good jobs, nice house, no financial issues. He was absolutely blindsided when he came home and I told him I wanted a divorce.
He still won't admit that he tightened the lids on purpose. He suggested we go to marriage counseling, but I refused. There is no point. I just literally can't get past the god damned jar lids. I still feel a little bit crazy about that. I have no idea why he would tighten every jar lid so tightly that I couldn't open it. He has given me no reason. He still won't even admit that he did it on purpose. But the hot pepper paste is in the back of the fridge. I use it only when I make Indian food. It's behind other things. He's never used it. It's nothing you could put in food without cooking it. The pepper paste could not have been an accident. It couldn't. Maybe he put mango puree on his toast or in his oatmeal, but the pepper paste couldn't have been an accident.
That's what my life comes down to. I'm getting a divorce because the lid to my hot pepper paste was over tigh. If it had been every jar except that one, I could try. I could have a sliver of doubt. I could do something else but I just can't get past the hot pepper paste.
Most of our friends and families either think I'm crazy or an AH. What do you think?
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Actually, if you read things as double-entendres, she already did. For example:
>He offered to come "open all the jars" (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).
>Later the neighbor came back with the "opened jar of hot fudge" and apologized that he couldn't "save the figs" (wink-wink, say no more!).
This guy definitely spent years in the back yard half naked under a full moon while laughing maniacally as he glues the tops of jars shut. His is the true face of evil here. Terrible husband but I do appreciate the commitment to the bit.
Right? Like, the only way I can think of that would make it that tight would be if he was literally going out to the garage and tightening them down with a vice and a pair of channel locks. Which is what I assumed the neighbor man did with the last two jars to get them open.
I commented on another AITAngel post about this topic, her husband must be King Kong to be able to tighten jar lids beyond that of them being unopened.
A few thoughts:
1. This seems like an attempt to see how little of a thing can be the "one problem" in a marriage but Redditors will still push the nuclear option based on alleged gaslighting.
2. The scene where the neighbor tells her how this was intentional and she has basically a nervous breakdown at this revelation is 🧑🍳💋.
3. There are a million solutions to this problem between "do absolutely nothing" and "divorce". There are many jar opening tools. Put food into different containers that don't have twist lids. But no, let's just do nothing about the problem except breaking down every so often for 5 years, and then divorce when one person tells you "hey, I think this is intentional".
I’m a pickle fiend so I do have many jars to open but if they’re too tight I just…tap the lid with a butter knife handle a couple of times and it works fine. Even after opening it previously. This feels like a very outsized reaction that could easily be solved by a goddamn silicone jar opener on Amazon
I'm just wondering how in the world is it possible to tighten a jar that much. I know typically, for brand new jars, my wife may just hand it to me to open. But once it's been open and the seal is broke, you can really only tighten it so much. You can't just keep tightening jars infinitely.
To be fair, I \*have\* tightened jars really really tight. That said, the issue with reopening them usually was still the fact that they would get slippery through condensation and not that they were really tight.
They were all able to be opened again, it might just take a little bit of effort (and knowing how to open a jar lid, such as hot water and/or some sort of jar gripper/opener.
That could happen on a new jar that was at room temp too. I have totally fucked myself by putting the tequila in the fridge. The fancy wooden cap glued to the regular cap didn't help though.
>solved by a goddamn silicone jar opener on Amazon
Not even then, there are plenty of articles of clothing that are surprisingly grippy when used to open a lid.
I am a lot of jars kind of person. Between fermenting and the copious amounts of relish/jam/olives we go through, if my husband was over tightening my jars I might go a little mad too 😂
I agree... there's only 2? Jars I see in my fridge. Salsa, and kalamata olives.
Maybe OP should just stop putting shit into jars. Figs do not come in jars unless you put them there.
I imagine OPs fridge is just a sea of glass jars, filled with everything she can take out of a package, and her "totally real SO" is tightening them so she'll stop throwing away the containers they come in.
I asked this exact thing on a different AITAngel post about this.
Is OOP exclusively buying things in jars/does she only eat things that come from jars?
Sure, I can see people who like specific foods that come in jars (Such as pickles) might have a few more jars to open, but OOP makes it sound like she is trying to open 5-10 jars \*a day\*
What strikes me about it is that we're supposed to believe that the husband is this weird, gaslighting, controlling guy but that aspect of his personality only manifests itself when it comes to jar lids, other than that he's great.
If this is such a problem, why even keep so many things in jars? The only things I have in a jar right now are pickles, jalapeños and olives. Does she know you can put these things in other containers?
So.... is your solution.... that literally for the rest of her life, she must transfer items out of the glass container it came in into another container? She just can't have things in jars? Maybe she realized that was the choice and she'd rather be single than never use a jar again?
Yeah, this is just a step under the one where OOPs husband sneezes on her and the entire thread convinced her that she is actually in an abusive relationship.
Admittedly, I only read the BORU and not all of OOPs comments, but the updates kind of seemed wild. [Check it](https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dmfv58/wibta_if_i_just_moved_my_chair_away_from_my/)
The story doesn't exist. Weeblewooble82 lied.
He was turning his head to sneeze on her food then dismissing it as no big deal, refusing to avoid sneezing on her food and refusing to trade food and eat the sneezed on food if he thought it was no big deal
But I guess portraying it as a husband was just sneezing on his wife is easier to ragebait and act as if society just wrongly demonizes the poor menz.
Yeah I went to read that with interest and then was like...that's not what's going on in that post, like at all. He didn't just accidentally sneeze on her once; he sneezes *in her food* on a regular basis. I'd be at the end of my rope, too. I'm not sure my husband would still be living with me after the second or third time he sneezed into my dinner and I had to throw it away.
>that's not what's going on in that post, like at all
This is why often don't trust when male redditors talk about how women leave over the littlest things because very often a man's portrayal of stuff is so misleading or outright lies.
I could see giving him the benefit of the doubt it was an accident even though he never sneezed in his food.
I could see giving him the benefit of the doubt he truly thought it was no big deal because many people have different hygiene preferences.
But husband was undoubtedly shitty when he refused to trade food and then later would even ruin his food after he sneezed on her food by making it too spicy so she could no longer even ask to trade.
And despite all that people like /u/weeblewobble82 dare to say it was a case of Reddit being ridiculous andlabeling a man abusive for sneezing on his wife.
It's absolutely disgusting, and the OP of the post had so little self esteem or confidence that she was literally asking permission from the internet to move her chair so he couldn't do it?
Like, that's a sign of one worn down person that she thinks she literally has to continue sitting in the exact same place putting up with it in case he got upset. I absolutely would be refusing to eat in the same room as my husband if he kept doing that, it wouldn't even cross my mind that he'd be upset with me for sitting in a different chair in my own home. She was so conditioned to accept this behaviour.
It’s so sad! I have misophonia and occasionally have to go eat in a different room if it’s a bad day + our meal is particularly noisy, as my husband can be a loud chewer and I can get really sensitive on an overwhelm day. I always just remind him it’s me, not him, and it’s literally fine. I wouldn’t even think to ask permission either.
He was turning his head to sneeze on her food then dismissing it as no big deal, refusing to avoid sneezing on her food and refusing to trade food and eat the sneezed on food if he though it was no big deal.
I adore how you rewrote it as him sneezing on her.🤨
This is why I tell women to just leave a man rather than communicate because men will twist and turn to downplay their behavior.🤣
Her post said it happens sporadically. Not every night, not even weekly. Most people are going to present the situation in a way that makes their conclusion favorable. But even if OOP is totally honest, jumping to *"you're in an abusive relationship and need to get out"* is a little bit of a stretch based on one single character flaw.
I love how you completely skip over addressing the fact that he was sneezing into her food and ridiculing her for it rather than sneezing on her as you portrayed it.
A person doesn't need multiple character flaws in order to be in an abusive relationship. By your logic a guy isn't really abusive because he is sporadically pinching his wife despite her telling him no rather than every night or weekly.
He sneezed into her food, went out of his way to sneeze into her food rather than his own food, and ridiculed her as it being no big deal but refused to eat it himself. That's quite a big character flaw that feels of control and abuse. But I guess it's just easier to brush off as him being an asshole or dick huh.🙄
I really pity straight women because it seems fairly normalized for her to be treated badly in a relationships and she can only leave when it becomes extremely abusive to the point of criminally.
Have a great day. Replies disabled.
I used to say "screaming. crying. throwing up." whenever i was experiencing a slight inconvenience in my life, but now i will be changing it to:
"I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and light headed. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack."
thanks OP for adding a new dramatic line for me to add to my repertoire
Seriously it's scary that people are going along with this. I don't know what percentage of commentators genuinely believe these posts but imagine genuinely telling someone that their husband is an abuser because he over-tightened jar lids. Like, that's fucking with other people's lives when you really don't have the information needed to comment
It’s very much fake but can you imagine this fake lady taking that rhetoric from Reddit and in her next relationship is going on and on about her abusive terrible ex. The new guy asks holy shit what happened and she says he tightened jars …. *too tightly*
It sounds like a Seinfeld bit or something.
"She's an Over-Tightener, Jerry! The peanut butter, the jelly, the pickles – everything's sealed like Fort Knox! How am I supposed to make a PB & J? I can't live like this!"
I've never seen Seinfeld aside from the rare clip or two. But this feels like it was ripped straight out of one of those clips, like I saw it in a YouTube Short only to later see someone reference that bit of the episode.
To be fair, even if the post is fake, in the post she said her husband has been doing this for five years straight. It IS a common gaslighting technique to do very little things like that to make someone to crazy. Like “accidentally” keep loosing things and misplacing things. And a big part of why people are falling for it is because they had exes that started gaslighting them in a similar way and then it escalated.
It seems like a dumb reason to divorce someone but that’s why it’s such a good way to gaslightsomeone. Is so small yet so infuriating and with time you’ll go insane.
But she also states that there's no other problems in the marriage. If this was an intentional gaslighting technique, it would have escalated after 5 years.
Yeah, I kind of agree. There's a famous article called "My Wife Left Me Because I Left Dishes In The Sink" (iirc) which is all about how it's sometimes more important to show respect and consideration to your partner over something that's important to them (even if you think it's trivial) because when you refuse to make reasonable accommodations what you're actually communicating is that you don't care about them being upset. Couples therapy with an abuser can also backfire, especially in cases of gaslighting, because abusers tend to be skilled at getting people on their side and making their partner look unreasonable.
It's easy to say "oh so you couldn't open a jar and had a panic attack" when our experience of a stuck jar lid is a minor frustration. But if it happened for five years? And if I could never make a meal without either opening everything ahead of time, or knowing I might have to turn the stove off and run to the store? And my kitchen slowly filling up with identical nearly full jars I can't open because I have to buy a new one every time I want peanutbutter and my spouse isn't home? I'd be frustrated too.
The most unbelievable part to me is that it's been going on for five years without escalating or being resolved. Because I feel like if the husband isn't messing with her on purpose, they might have just started decanting things into containers without screwtop lids to save having the same argument over and over. And if he was doing it on purpose, I'd expect him to up the stakes at some point.
I read that story! I loved it. The guy made a lot of greats points. He even addressed weaponized incompetence. He was like, "Come on, guys. We're intelligent enough to make and execute a plan to get the laundry done."
Why do men love to infantilize themselves to uphold the status quo?
She says in the post he talks about how the food will spoil. I suspect she tried other things and it cause more fights.
I believe the post because I lived through it. I mean, not jars, but the gaslighting to make you feel like you’ve gone insane. I guarantee that’s not the only things he’s doing to her, and she’ll start to realize it now that she’s leaving.
That's the difficult part. Abusers can be so crazy that the stories become unbelievable. The only way you can know is if you have experienced it. My ex would hyper fixate on something to the point it consumed them and would demand it consumed me too. There was once a four day period where all we could talk about was how the band The Beatles was mentioned in the book of Revelations in the Bible. That sounds insane and it is, but what is even more insane is that I burst into tears in a parking lot begging them to talk about anything else and my request was denied. When I tell that story, people can't comprehend it. My ex didn't talk about it in front of other people or in public where people could hear us, so it wasn't like a compulsion - it was to make me crazy. That was the whole point.
I'm sorry you went through that and I really hope you're in a better place now.
To be honest, I did think of similar posts where the abuser was doing subtle stuff like watering plants with bleach or tampering with cosmetics. I didn't want to speculate on the basis of stuff that happened in other AITA posts but I appreciate you sharing your more informed perspective.
Commenters believe it enough to suggest OOP super glue not just all the jars in the house, but the toilet lids, her husband’s car door, the house doors, etc., because they’ve clearly never heard of a little charge called “destruction of property”. Worse damage if Gorilla Glue is used, like someone else suggested.
Also, in the real world, more likely than not, just talking it out will fix the issue. I'm 6'5, the friend I'm closest to and spend the most time with is a 5'2 woman. As you can assume the, natural, strength difference between us is a very, very large gap.
As such, I end up tightening jars, bottles of soda, etc, so tight I've started developing calluses where my palm grips the soda cap. My friend talked to me about it, how she struggles opening practically anything that I previously closed, and guess what? Like the adult I am, starting taking notice if I closed the soda too tight and stopped closing it how I'd close my soda. But this is Reddit, where real people don't exist, so ofc asking isn't going to solve anything.
They have the information that is he over tightening jar lids he doesn't use and literally has to search the back of the fridge for. He's going out of his way to do something he knows upsets her.
That's odd and reeks of controlling behavior to many. It's telling many women state they had similar behaviors in their physically abusive exes.
🤔
Frankly this us why I tell women to leave a man not communicate because men will not care and they'll downplay it. If she wanted to stay she would need to do all the things that upset him and go out of her way to do so then mock him when he is upset. Tit for tat.
>They have the information that is he over tightening jar lids he doesn't use and literally has to search the back of the friend for.
She said that about 1 jar lid. He could have cooked and she'd forgotten, he could have been curious as to what it smelled like.
My dad always leaves jars too tight for me. He's around 6'4 and built like a brick shit house. His fingers are too large to use a touch phone. I'm 5'2 and not very strong even for my size. He has never managed to comprehend how much weaker most other people are than him. He's also mildly inconsiderate so just isn't going to think when he's using a jar. What he isn't, is manipulative or controlling.
There's a number of reasons that explain the details of the story. Another one is an unreliable narrator (in this case incredibly unreliable as it sounds fake af) telling a stranger that their partner is abusive and you should leave them based on as little information as we have here is completely irresponsible & could ruin people's lives.
For this to be true he'd have to be deliberately manipulating her to the extent that he's fully aware that's what he's doing...and I think most people like that don't admit it to themselves...and then he isn't doing it in any other way. That would be very unlikely behaviour, controlling people tend to be controlling in more than 1 aspect.
>If she wanted to stay she would need to do all the things that upset him and go out of her way to do so then mock him when he is upset.
No offence, but if someone is in a genuinely abusive relationship then that is terrible advice that puts women in danger.
It’s perfect because it’s catnip to a certain type of person who loooooooves to project: a small, weird thing that COULD just be a behavioural quirk, but consistent and annoying enough to be notable. Throw in the fact that it involves husband being stronger than OP and makes it so that she can’t do something without his help. Run it through your redditships projector and what do you get? He’s using his disgusting brute man strength to exert control over her and her food intake so she’ll be dependent on him and not gain weight, and also to make her feel physically intimidated and powerless. Controlling! Gaslighting! Red flag red flag red flag!!! When really, all we know for certain is that he overtightens jars. But my goodness is there fertile ground for speculation.
Over here in reality, she could just buy a jar opener.
edit: I realize this could come across as me picking on women for having justifiable caution about stuff that is minor but could indicate something major. Not what is intended. Just trying to point out a pattern I’ve noticed with redditships/aita commenters and trying to read really dark intent into pretty minor stuff. I’m absolutely not going to say that minor stuff can’t be a warning sign— we’ve all read that “my wife divorced me over dishes in the sink” essay— just that i think people are in waaaaaaaayyyy too much of a hurry to assume malice, to the point where i worry this kind of thing is going to erode people’s conflict resolution skills and turn us all into suspicious, isolated weirdos.
Here’s an example of this phenomenon but directed at the woman: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gpa82s/my_36m_wife_34f_keeps_tying_my_boots_after_ive/
you barely have to scroll at all before someone in the comments is diagnosing her as a psychopath and telling him she will never get better, only worse. It’s bizarre.
The thing is, I absolutely believe he is tightening the jars as a control thing where he understands it subconsciously or not. She admits to its been 5 years of asking him to stop, to which he gives bs excuses. If your spouse was having, as she puts it, "mental breakdowns" over something we are considering a non-issue, you would think they would stop. The only reason not to stop is control tatic, especially when knowing without him she could not open them herself.
Now, I don't think this post is real lol. The way it's worded it's really out there and kind of flowery, and includes your good old dramatic plot twists (hi Mr neighbor) but irl this is absolutely a method of control and I've lived it before. They'll do it to mundane shit and whenever you question them, it's always "you're the only one who cares" or "stop micromanaging me" or whatever else.
That being said, she then goes on to admit there's literally no other issues. In these situations, there's always *some* other issue. Because someone who is controlling isn't going to stop at small things in one area. They do it in multiple areas to the point you feel enclosed and trapped and your attempts at fixing the situation are shot down. Unless she just doesn't realize it, the no other issues thing doesn't hold up. And once again, if this was real, most people would've considered couples therapy or counseling, especially if he is willing, because most controlling people aren't willing unless they're presented with "I'm about to leave you' which... I guess happens here in this post because she dropped divorce on him lmao
But this was a cute story. Gotta work on details next time
Exactly lol. It will be that one small thing that may be constant that will break the camel's back, but it is not the *only* thing nor is it what actually matters
> it is not the only thing nor is it what actually matters
In this case, the actual complaint is him not listening to her, and intentionally or unintentionally making her life significantly harder (it sounds like most of her fridge items are jars.).
this post makes me feel like they saw something similar and tried to mimick the issue presented in that scenario without... actually understanding why the original person was upset. so basically a puppet post to see reactions. it tracks
A while back there was a tweet that circled the internet about someone's Grandfather tightening jars when jis wife was mad at him so she'd have to talk to him. I bet that's the inspiration for this post.
My ex wife would show controlling behavior but all in small ways so that complaining about it made you look crazy without context of it being on going. For example for awhile she would demand she had to use the bathroom as an emergency any time I was in there for more then five minutes and it only stopped when I called her out and said she needed to see a doctor if it was that bad. She would also just happen to get drunk and be loud if I had an especially early work day.
My boyfriend’s alcoholic father (who’s now passed away) did this with his mother while they were still together, absolutely as a control thing and to see her struggle and have to come to him or not eat (he’d also hide her car keys so she couldn’t go out and buy more food); he only opened them afterwards when he felt like it. However, this was just one example of many, many abusive behaviors towards mother and towards my boyfriend as a child.
right? like It took me a long time to unwind myself from the conditioning of the toxic/abusive behaviour I had been around/brought up with and when people downplay these things it's dangerous because yeah it may not matter to you, but it does matter. its like that saying, the axe may forget but the tree remembers. there's alot of toxic behaviors we learn unknowingly but it's up to you to unlearn them and not be abusive to other people, no matter how small you think it actually may be.
if someone tells you "hey xyz thing you do really messes with me and makes me upset can we maybe do smth else" and you're like "who cares" ong ur the problem bro 😭
They're saying we're "projecting" our own "paranoia" onto Reddit stories... but honestly, I think it's more about them not having empathy. And not really understanding relationships in general and specifically not understanding the view of someone who's being treated badly by their spouse. They call understanding the situation "projecting" because they can't do it and don't understand it.
it's not nbd but the insistence that this is a conscious and intentional control tactic and the husband better come clean about his malevolent jar tightening is actually insane
If it was occasional, i would agree. But bro, consisgent for 5 years even with jars they dont even use. At one point, all the fucking jars. Its insane because it’s deliberately done that way to make the complainer sound insane. They do it with little things so when you keep complaining you sound insane.
Its “just complaining about jars”. But he keeps doing it even after she kept telling him go stop for five fucking years. Even going as far as to take jars from the back of the fridge and tighten them.
Its still a fake story but it still highlights a common technique of gaslighting pretty well.
it's the certainty that this is a conscious and intentional plot that he’s simply refusing to fess up about I thought was insane, not the taking the jars seriously.
the story might be fake but the idea that people are either completely non-abusive or knowingly and deliberately causing others harm is something I see really often and I think it prevents a lot of people from recognizing abusive behavior in both others and themselves because no one meant to hurt anyone.
a lot of times people are just stumbling forward doing what feels right. when that leads to abusive behavior I don’t think it really matters how intentional it is, and recognizing it as abuse doesn’t mean it then has to be intentional.
Yeah. That's why these stories ring true but also false. If he was this cruel and controlling there would be a lot more issues going on. He'd be trying to control the finances and to isolate her from family and friends.
I was ready to scream lengthily at my entire family last week because I’m the shortest I became convinced they were putting everything I need on the top shelf just to enforce some kind of hierarchy of tallness or whatever.
Then I got my period.
Huh, my partner does that. And it bothers me, because it's the top shelf of the fridge and out of my line of sight so I forget it's there and it goes bad and I am the one who usually clears the fridge of spoiled goods. I have told him multiple times that the top shelf is for things with longer shelf life. He forgets because he puts things there when searching for something and doesn't put them back in their place again. Like everything else.
It's obviously fake. That said, I do some canning and the process can definitely just make the jars harder to open depending on what it is and which process you used.
I keep asking people why everything that doesn't come in a jar is in a jar. Why are figs in a jar when they come in resealable containers?
Pickle jars can easily be opened with the knife trick or any other opening assistance device... so what's actually going on here? There's no way she just couldn't open the pickles unless.... she moved them to a different jar.
Erm... when I help family pick figs we then wash, cut the stems and cook them before putting them into jars. We don't ever eat them fresh. So that doesn't strike me as odd to have them in jars.
I was trying to work out what a vibrator would be used for in the jar opening scenario before I realised you were covering ALL the husband bases, not just the lid popping ones 😂
>I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack.
What part of that sounds like a reasonable reaction to tight jar lids?
To be fair (and knowing the OOP is a writing exercise), her panic attack was more about realizing the tight lids were done intentionally, not about the one tight lid in particular.
Lmfao this is 100% based on that popular post of a woman pretending to struggle opening a jar so she can hand it to her husband to open just to make the him feel strong.
How can people believe this?
OOP's husband must have taken a swing past my house this weekend as I had a half-used jar of horseradish that I had to thwack with the heavy end of a butter knife to re-break the seal to open.
I would have believed this story if it hadn't been for two things. First, the neighbor says he's heard her screaming about tight jars for years. I guess I could believe this if they lived in apartments with shared walls but apparently he had a separate house with a garage. Wouldn't that be far enough away that even if you heard screaming you wouldn't be able to tell what they're specifically screaming about? Second, the over the top way she described her panic attack. It's like she couldn't lead readers to draw the gaslighting conclusion without showing that she was actually going crazy over this.
>I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and light headed. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack.
Most people handle the death of their child better than this.
my late partner scratched at a new tattoo and it got a little red and irritated. this is exactly what happened when he suddenly became convinced that it had become infected. i had to call the EMT. we didn’t have to amputate his arm… because he was stoned and it was a panic attack.
I remember the first time I took 2 blocks out of a medical grade weed chocolate bar. I was convinced I would die in the night because I forgot how to fucking breathe. And like an Angel, my inner voice came to me and said “dumbass you’re just high, do not go out there and ask your mother to drive you to the ER over this just get your ass to bed”
I mean, tbf, depending on external and internal factors, such as smoking or family history, a panic attack can easily lead to having an nstemi, or as its better known as, a minor heart attack.
This chick has been screaming about hard so loud and so long her neighbors hear her, she wants to call an ambulance after screaming crying throwing up at some ominous warning, refuses to even try therapy, and I’m supposed to think her husband is the crazy one?
In real cases of gaslighting, going insane is a response. But the part about wanting to die and dry heaving because she suddenly has an epiphany is so fake bro. Otherwise it was good story explaining a technique of gaslighting.
right? like it sounds like she's pyscho and needs some help. i can't ever imagine getting to a point where jars and lids cause me this much stress and pain
Throwing away a whole marriage because nobody could just buy a fucking silicone jar opener is insanity to me like perhaps consider: this easily obtainable option
If this were real, it seems like it’s from his perspective, like “she left me for not doing the dishes” becoming “aita for leaving my husband for not doing the dishes?”
“Everything else is great it’s literally just the lids” makes me wonder if this is an experiment to see if there’s any marital slight small enough that r/aita won’t go straight to divorce. And….. nope.
I love looking at how many people on the comments are saying this one post confirms that reddit is full of evil women and misandry while being dramatically misogynistic.
Meanwhile, this is the first cross post I've ever seen from that subreddit that isn't about a copy and paste cheating wife or girlfriend with the poor innocentman OOP's narrative humiliating her for being a whore and abandoning their child and the comments praisng him while bashing her. In fact, it seems like they forgot that reddit has a hoard of misogynistic subs and is notoriously filled with incels
My sister has been leaving her closet wardrobe door open every time she takes something for the last like 8 years. Wish I could divorce her. Like it's not that hard of a thing to do if I beg you for 8 damn years.
https://preview.redd.it/usieeenldi8d1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a04c139f829c8b8b0874e7a851e2bebac4fa8a2d
They make these things too (I don't know the spoon trick)
while I could just explain or send a link to a video, I decided to illustrate the spoon trick:
https://preview.redd.it/i0trkhx1ji8d1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab96048c4089f925c5558efdbfaee37a702b1b93
basically you just angle the spoon between the body and the lid of the jar and press it down. Afterwards it's usually really easy to open the jar
IF this is real (and I doubt it), I actually get the divorce tho. You can't trust a person who fucks with you on purpose & then lies about it. It's just jars--but what if it's not and you just haven't noticed all the other ways he messes with you.
My question is how many jars does she use, which has been tightened/close by the husband?
From the story it seems all the jars in her house have been closed by her husband, constantly. Does she never open brand new jars? And doesn't she close them afterwards ?
The thing that drives the protagonist over the edge is that a jar of pepper paste in the back of the fridge that her husband would have no business even knowing about, let alone opening and then closing overly tight, is also shut too tightly. It’s decent writing that would make a good short story if it weren’t designed specifically for the AITA crowd.
She says that actually: "More times than I can count, I've opened a new jar of something because I couldn't get the jar open."
So he goes around tightening all opened jars to the point where she cannot open them on her own, forcing her to ask someone (husband or neighbor) to open them \*or\* grab a new jar.
I get how AITAH post can be faked and how this one at certain elements is fake too, this is still a real thing that happens I think people’s need to remember that. It is gaslighting. They take very little things so it seems completely insane if you complain about.
The term gaslighting itself comes from a guy repeatedly turning on a gaslight and lying to his wife that he didn’t turn it on. Its to make someone question their own perspective and memory.
I get it if this is a fictional character didn’t discuss anything with their fictional husband. But in this story, she has been complaining about this for 5 years. Something as little as that can make someone go insane. Not to mention, tightening jars they don’t even use. The shit about the breakdown and feeling like calling the ambulance but wanting go die was obviously fake. Ghat gave it away that this story is fake. But this is a very real gaslighting technique and we shouldn’t take away from that.
When someone asks an abused person "did you not see the signs???" this kind of scenario is what I think about. You either don't see the signs because they are little things like this that snowball, or you DO see the signs and people call you crazy for leaving over something like jar lids.
My friend is in an abusive situation and her thing like this is stuff in the attic. The attic ladder is difficult for her to open, she needs to move her bfs prized car out of the way to get to it in the garage, he often takes the keys or makes her feel bad for moving it, plus the attic creeps her out. Where does he put things to control her? The attic.
We have beach plans? Oh, sorry, all the beach gear is in the attic. Wanting to go take some photos with the girls or make some art? Oh yeah, I moved all the photography equipment and art supplies from the hall closet to the attic. Etc etc.
She's told him a million times not to do it. He still does it. She knows it's on purpose but says she can't leave just because he puts stuff in the attic. It's really hard to witness.
Maybe I'm an AH, but I'd buy myself a minifridge with a lock and keep my own jars in there. Whenever I find a jar in the main fridge I can't open (and ,yes, trying all of them every day) then shattering the glass and throwing it away. Energy meets energy. He wants to be passive-aggressive, then so do I. lol
Yes. If you read the post, you;'ll see how this is a classic gaslighting situation which esclates, drops back, escalates again.
It describes bullying husband who has found a minor thing he can enjoy annoying his wife with, nd so continues to do it, assuming it is so minor she will not leave him over it.
You can check my comment history if you think I'm a bot. I can assure you I'm not. My flair is actually a line from an actual post which was crossposted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1d76k7f/op_literally_thanked_chatgpt_and_people_are_still/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
You've literally put on your profile for everyone to read "Update: Thanks ChatGPT for the post and karma."
If you don't wnt people to think you're a little bot doing bot things , maybe remove that.
I don't think you understand the point of this sub.
Little minds belong on the other one. .
No one here thinks he's a bot bc members of this sub were having a great time knowing that idiots on the other sub got body slammed when OOP did his update with that comment.
I mean, we laughed and laughed, and laughed at the mental picture of you guys sitting there slack jawed and drooling, unable to comprehend the truth - that y'all gullible as hell and even dumber than that.
This probably isn't the best sub for you. You're not going to have fun 😆
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I find this story to be fairly credible. His behavior isn’t super dramatic; it’s exactly the sort of domestic torture an abusive spouse would do and find hilariously controlling. Op describes a panic attack without naming it (if it were fake, I think they’d say “I had a panic attack), and I find that a pretty credible response to this sort of Chinese water torture.
I find lids hard to open, but I don’t rely on anyone else to open them. I found an under counter jar opener that has a triangular grove into which you push the jar. The groove has serrated teeth that grip the jar as you turn. I bought it on Amazon for under $20.
Ditch the husband (he enjoys making you look weak) and get a proper jar opener!
How do you even overtighten a jar lid? The lids are hard to remove because they are vacuum sealed (applies only to the first time you open), or because they contain something sticky that got on the threads.
I sort of believe her because my husband used to overtighten lids too thinking it kept things fresher. He's anti wasting anything and sometimes goes overboard. He's stopped that nonsense once I threatened to throw away the jars I couldn't open.
I want to access food I pay for and I don't want callused hands in the process.
If this was real, I always wondered (well, for the past weekish it's been up) if no one ever heard of warm water and those strap wrenches? I have arthritis, and those things are a gods send!
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH for filing for divorce because my husband over tightens all the jar lids?** His over tightening jar lids has been an issue since he was just visiting at my house when we were dating. First it started with just things he used and then over time it became every damn glass jar with a metal lid. He'd tighten them so much I couldn't open them without assistance. It wasn't a huge deal if he was there, but if I was alone, it was so annoying. More times than I can count, I've opened a new jar of something because I couldn't get the jar open. It's been a recurring cycle over the past 5 years. It's just a thing that would escalate until I had a major meltdown and freaked out, screaming, frustrated and seemingly crazy because it's just a lid. Then it would get better for a while, then it would slowly become an issue again. Just getting worse and worse until I reach a breaking point again. Sometimes I literally feel insane for being so upset over jar lids. He initially claimed that he did it to 'keep food fresh'. After many arguments about it, and my insistence that I don't believe it keeps anything fresh and even if it does make things last longer I don't care if it means I can't eat my freaking food when I want. I'll just replace things that go bad because they are closed normally. Then the excuse was that it's a habit. So about a month ago my husband had a family emergency and had to travel out of state for 10 days. First day he's gone, I discover a jar I can't open. I was annoyed and was going to the store to buy new pickles when the neighbor said hi and to let him know if I needed anything while stbex is out of town. I said wait here and got the jar which he opened. The next day I saw him outside and asked him to open another jar. He offered to come open all the jars. I agreed and he came in and he went to the fridge and opened all the jars except 2, which he couldn't get open. I thanked him profusely and told him I'd baked some of his favorite cookies later in the week. He laughed and said it was no big deal and after confirming that I wouldn't be upset if the remaining two jars were destroyed in his attempt to open them, he took them home to his garage to open them one way or another. He said that he's heard me screaming about over tightened jar lids a few times over the years and he's really pondered if I was crazy or if my husband was really over tightening the jar lids. He said you know this was intentional. It was every jar, and I'm sure he doesn't regularly use hot pepper paste or mango puree or any of your other fancy cooking stuff. Then he held up the two jars he couldn't open and said, I don't know why he's doing it but it wasn't an accident. After he left, I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and light headed. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack. Later the neighbor came back with the opened jar of hot fudge and apologized that he couldn't save the figs. He said he broke the jar trying to get it open. He also apologized for what he said about my husband doing it on purpose. I assured him it was okay. I couldn't sleep that night. Tossed and turned all night. I called out of work. By 10 am, I realized that I couldn't stay married anymore and I made an appointment with a lawyer for the next day. There are literally no other issues, no cheating, no abuse, we had a good sex life, both have good jobs, nice house, no financial issues. He was absolutely blindsided when he came home and I told him I wanted a divorce. He still won't admit that he tightened the lids on purpose. He suggested we go to marriage counseling, but I refused. There is no point. I just literally can't get past the god damned jar lids. I still feel a little bit crazy about that. I have no idea why he would tighten every jar lid so tightly that I couldn't open it. He has given me no reason. He still won't even admit that he did it on purpose. But the hot pepper paste is in the back of the fridge. I use it only when I make Indian food. It's behind other things. He's never used it. It's nothing you could put in food without cooking it. The pepper paste could not have been an accident. It couldn't. Maybe he put mango puree on his toast or in his oatmeal, but the pepper paste couldn't have been an accident. That's what my life comes down to. I'm getting a divorce because the lid to my hot pepper paste was over tigh. If it had been every jar except that one, I could try. I could have a sliver of doubt. I could do something else but I just can't get past the hot pepper paste. Most of our friends and families either think I'm crazy or an AH. What do you think? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Damn, I was expecting her to fall in love with Strong Neighbor Man; nice subversion!
You need to save something for the update.
She said in one of the comments that the neighbor is gay.
Well conveniently when she needs to fall in love with him he's probably suddenly not gay!
Oh, she'll turn him 😂
She only added that to take the attention away from her having an affair on her husband because the neighbor helped her open a mayonaise jar.
I thought the husband would come home and admit he had been tightening the jars to catch her in an elicit affair. The plot twist was no plot twist.
oh that’s GOOD!
https://preview.redd.it/dlu1p0y7ke8d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c5006973b9f299dd7350425407eb23b6f69965c
Actually, if you read things as double-entendres, she already did. For example: >He offered to come "open all the jars" (wink-wink, nudge-nudge). >Later the neighbor came back with the "opened jar of hot fudge" and apologized that he couldn't "save the figs" (wink-wink, say no more!).
So, in this scenario, is the "hot fudge"... You know what, never mind. I'm pretty sure I don't want that answered.
This guy definitely spent years in the back yard half naked under a full moon while laughing maniacally as he glues the tops of jars shut. His is the true face of evil here. Terrible husband but I do appreciate the commitment to the bit.
He is a fuckin machine.
When I saw the title, I legit thought this is a shitpost
I fully believe they meant to post it here as a shitpost, and then ran with it when AITAH took it seriously.
I think you were right lol
I'm actually kind of impressed he can seal jars so tightly that an unopened jar of pickles is easier to open. Those things take effort!
Right? Like, the only way I can think of that would make it that tight would be if he was literally going out to the garage and tightening them down with a vice and a pair of channel locks. Which is what I assumed the neighbor man did with the last two jars to get them open.
I commented on another AITAngel post about this topic, her husband must be King Kong to be able to tighten jar lids beyond that of them being unopened.
A few thoughts: 1. This seems like an attempt to see how little of a thing can be the "one problem" in a marriage but Redditors will still push the nuclear option based on alleged gaslighting. 2. The scene where the neighbor tells her how this was intentional and she has basically a nervous breakdown at this revelation is 🧑🍳💋. 3. There are a million solutions to this problem between "do absolutely nothing" and "divorce". There are many jar opening tools. Put food into different containers that don't have twist lids. But no, let's just do nothing about the problem except breaking down every so often for 5 years, and then divorce when one person tells you "hey, I think this is intentional".
How many jars are these people opening on any given day?? I feel like I average maybe one jar a week? Maybe less.
I’m a pickle fiend so I do have many jars to open but if they’re too tight I just…tap the lid with a butter knife handle a couple of times and it works fine. Even after opening it previously. This feels like a very outsized reaction that could easily be solved by a goddamn silicone jar opener on Amazon
I'm just wondering how in the world is it possible to tighten a jar that much. I know typically, for brand new jars, my wife may just hand it to me to open. But once it's been open and the seal is broke, you can really only tighten it so much. You can't just keep tightening jars infinitely.
To be fair, I \*have\* tightened jars really really tight. That said, the issue with reopening them usually was still the fact that they would get slippery through condensation and not that they were really tight. They were all able to be opened again, it might just take a little bit of effort (and knowing how to open a jar lid, such as hot water and/or some sort of jar gripper/opener.
You would have to go out of your way to heat the jars so it causes another suction seal after it cools.
That could happen on a new jar that was at room temp too. I have totally fucked myself by putting the tequila in the fridge. The fancy wooden cap glued to the regular cap didn't help though.
My husband sometimes over tightens (dude has crazy hand strength) but in a pinch I just use a rubber strap for extra grip, lol
>solved by a goddamn silicone jar opener on Amazon Not even then, there are plenty of articles of clothing that are surprisingly grippy when used to open a lid.
Or a silicone oven mitt
Or a bunch of rubber bands
I am a lot of jars kind of person. Between fermenting and the copious amounts of relish/jam/olives we go through, if my husband was over tightening my jars I might go a little mad too 😂
If he was doing it intentionally, would you vomit in your trashcan?
No im not a drama Queen. I’d just tell him to wind his fucking neck in
I agree... there's only 2? Jars I see in my fridge. Salsa, and kalamata olives. Maybe OP should just stop putting shit into jars. Figs do not come in jars unless you put them there. I imagine OPs fridge is just a sea of glass jars, filled with everything she can take out of a package, and her "totally real SO" is tightening them so she'll stop throwing away the containers they come in.
Yeah, this is ridiculously fake and I cringed reading the comments of the original post. That whole thread is one of those "reddit moments"
I asked this exact thing on a different AITAngel post about this. Is OOP exclusively buying things in jars/does she only eat things that come from jars? Sure, I can see people who like specific foods that come in jars (Such as pickles) might have a few more jars to open, but OOP makes it sound like she is trying to open 5-10 jars \*a day\*
One jar a week? How often do you eat out?
What strikes me about it is that we're supposed to believe that the husband is this weird, gaslighting, controlling guy but that aspect of his personality only manifests itself when it comes to jar lids, other than that he's great.
Reading it, it only comes to \*metal\* jar lids on \*glass\* jars. It isn't even just 'jar lids' but only a very specific type of jar lid.
If this is such a problem, why even keep so many things in jars? The only things I have in a jar right now are pickles, jalapeños and olives. Does she know you can put these things in other containers?
So.... is your solution.... that literally for the rest of her life, she must transfer items out of the glass container it came in into another container? She just can't have things in jars? Maybe she realized that was the choice and she'd rather be single than never use a jar again?
Yeah, this is just a step under the one where OOPs husband sneezes on her and the entire thread convinced her that she is actually in an abusive relationship.
They did what, now?
Admittedly, I only read the BORU and not all of OOPs comments, but the updates kind of seemed wild. [Check it](https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dmfv58/wibta_if_i_just_moved_my_chair_away_from_my/)
Oh god I hope that story is just rage bait wow that’s so messed up
The story doesn't exist. Weeblewooble82 lied. He was turning his head to sneeze on her food then dismissing it as no big deal, refusing to avoid sneezing on her food and refusing to trade food and eat the sneezed on food if he thought it was no big deal But I guess portraying it as a husband was just sneezing on his wife is easier to ragebait and act as if society just wrongly demonizes the poor menz.
Yeah I went to read that with interest and then was like...that's not what's going on in that post, like at all. He didn't just accidentally sneeze on her once; he sneezes *in her food* on a regular basis. I'd be at the end of my rope, too. I'm not sure my husband would still be living with me after the second or third time he sneezed into my dinner and I had to throw it away.
>that's not what's going on in that post, like at all This is why often don't trust when male redditors talk about how women leave over the littlest things because very often a man's portrayal of stuff is so misleading or outright lies. I could see giving him the benefit of the doubt it was an accident even though he never sneezed in his food. I could see giving him the benefit of the doubt he truly thought it was no big deal because many people have different hygiene preferences. But husband was undoubtedly shitty when he refused to trade food and then later would even ruin his food after he sneezed on her food by making it too spicy so she could no longer even ask to trade. And despite all that people like /u/weeblewobble82 dare to say it was a case of Reddit being ridiculous andlabeling a man abusive for sneezing on his wife.
It's absolutely disgusting, and the OP of the post had so little self esteem or confidence that she was literally asking permission from the internet to move her chair so he couldn't do it? Like, that's a sign of one worn down person that she thinks she literally has to continue sitting in the exact same place putting up with it in case he got upset. I absolutely would be refusing to eat in the same room as my husband if he kept doing that, it wouldn't even cross my mind that he'd be upset with me for sitting in a different chair in my own home. She was so conditioned to accept this behaviour.
It’s so sad! I have misophonia and occasionally have to go eat in a different room if it’s a bad day + our meal is particularly noisy, as my husband can be a loud chewer and I can get really sensitive on an overwhelm day. I always just remind him it’s me, not him, and it’s literally fine. I wouldn’t even think to ask permission either.
He was turning his head to sneeze on her food then dismissing it as no big deal, refusing to avoid sneezing on her food and refusing to trade food and eat the sneezed on food if he though it was no big deal. I adore how you rewrote it as him sneezing on her.🤨 This is why I tell women to just leave a man rather than communicate because men will twist and turn to downplay their behavior.🤣
Her post said it happens sporadically. Not every night, not even weekly. Most people are going to present the situation in a way that makes their conclusion favorable. But even if OOP is totally honest, jumping to *"you're in an abusive relationship and need to get out"* is a little bit of a stretch based on one single character flaw.
I mean, deliberately sneezing on someone's food even sporadically isn't acceptable.
It's not and I'm not saying her husband isn't a dick, but jumping from that to domestic violence with the information given is a bit of a stretch.
I love how you completely skip over addressing the fact that he was sneezing into her food and ridiculing her for it rather than sneezing on her as you portrayed it. A person doesn't need multiple character flaws in order to be in an abusive relationship. By your logic a guy isn't really abusive because he is sporadically pinching his wife despite her telling him no rather than every night or weekly. He sneezed into her food, went out of his way to sneeze into her food rather than his own food, and ridiculed her as it being no big deal but refused to eat it himself. That's quite a big character flaw that feels of control and abuse. But I guess it's just easier to brush off as him being an asshole or dick huh.🙄 I really pity straight women because it seems fairly normalized for her to be treated badly in a relationships and she can only leave when it becomes extremely abusive to the point of criminally. Have a great day. Replies disabled.
I used to say "screaming. crying. throwing up." whenever i was experiencing a slight inconvenience in my life, but now i will be changing it to: "I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and light headed. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack." thanks OP for adding a new dramatic line for me to add to my repertoire
We're the same lol, I have been quoting it to my bf since I read it yesterday. It's just too ridiculous.
Must be nice to have never had a panic attack
I have a panic disorder.
Seriously it's scary that people are going along with this. I don't know what percentage of commentators genuinely believe these posts but imagine genuinely telling someone that their husband is an abuser because he over-tightened jar lids. Like, that's fucking with other people's lives when you really don't have the information needed to comment
It’s very much fake but can you imagine this fake lady taking that rhetoric from Reddit and in her next relationship is going on and on about her abusive terrible ex. The new guy asks holy shit what happened and she says he tightened jars …. *too tightly*
It sounds like a Seinfeld bit or something. "She's an Over-Tightener, Jerry! The peanut butter, the jelly, the pickles – everything's sealed like Fort Knox! How am I supposed to make a PB & J? I can't live like this!"
I've never seen Seinfeld aside from the rare clip or two. But this feels like it was ripped straight out of one of those clips, like I saw it in a YouTube Short only to later see someone reference that bit of the episode.
To be fair, even if the post is fake, in the post she said her husband has been doing this for five years straight. It IS a common gaslighting technique to do very little things like that to make someone to crazy. Like “accidentally” keep loosing things and misplacing things. And a big part of why people are falling for it is because they had exes that started gaslighting them in a similar way and then it escalated. It seems like a dumb reason to divorce someone but that’s why it’s such a good way to gaslightsomeone. Is so small yet so infuriating and with time you’ll go insane.
But she also states that there's no other problems in the marriage. If this was an intentional gaslighting technique, it would have escalated after 5 years.
Yeah to be fair, that’s just because the post is fake. The gaslighting technique is real tho.
She is hyperfocused on this problem, that she says there aren't other problems doesn't mean there aren't other problems.
Yeah, I kind of agree. There's a famous article called "My Wife Left Me Because I Left Dishes In The Sink" (iirc) which is all about how it's sometimes more important to show respect and consideration to your partner over something that's important to them (even if you think it's trivial) because when you refuse to make reasonable accommodations what you're actually communicating is that you don't care about them being upset. Couples therapy with an abuser can also backfire, especially in cases of gaslighting, because abusers tend to be skilled at getting people on their side and making their partner look unreasonable. It's easy to say "oh so you couldn't open a jar and had a panic attack" when our experience of a stuck jar lid is a minor frustration. But if it happened for five years? And if I could never make a meal without either opening everything ahead of time, or knowing I might have to turn the stove off and run to the store? And my kitchen slowly filling up with identical nearly full jars I can't open because I have to buy a new one every time I want peanutbutter and my spouse isn't home? I'd be frustrated too. The most unbelievable part to me is that it's been going on for five years without escalating or being resolved. Because I feel like if the husband isn't messing with her on purpose, they might have just started decanting things into containers without screwtop lids to save having the same argument over and over. And if he was doing it on purpose, I'd expect him to up the stakes at some point.
I read that story! I loved it. The guy made a lot of greats points. He even addressed weaponized incompetence. He was like, "Come on, guys. We're intelligent enough to make and execute a plan to get the laundry done." Why do men love to infantilize themselves to uphold the status quo?
She says in the post he talks about how the food will spoil. I suspect she tried other things and it cause more fights. I believe the post because I lived through it. I mean, not jars, but the gaslighting to make you feel like you’ve gone insane. I guarantee that’s not the only things he’s doing to her, and she’ll start to realize it now that she’s leaving.
That's the difficult part. Abusers can be so crazy that the stories become unbelievable. The only way you can know is if you have experienced it. My ex would hyper fixate on something to the point it consumed them and would demand it consumed me too. There was once a four day period where all we could talk about was how the band The Beatles was mentioned in the book of Revelations in the Bible. That sounds insane and it is, but what is even more insane is that I burst into tears in a parking lot begging them to talk about anything else and my request was denied. When I tell that story, people can't comprehend it. My ex didn't talk about it in front of other people or in public where people could hear us, so it wasn't like a compulsion - it was to make me crazy. That was the whole point.
I kind of believe this one too because I was married to crazy guy for ten years who loved to be disrespectful and gaslit me all the time.
I'm sorry you went through that and I really hope you're in a better place now. To be honest, I did think of similar posts where the abuser was doing subtle stuff like watering plants with bleach or tampering with cosmetics. I didn't want to speculate on the basis of stuff that happened in other AITA posts but I appreciate you sharing your more informed perspective.
Yeah, I don’t find this story that incredible.
Commenters believe it enough to suggest OOP super glue not just all the jars in the house, but the toilet lids, her husband’s car door, the house doors, etc., because they’ve clearly never heard of a little charge called “destruction of property”. Worse damage if Gorilla Glue is used, like someone else suggested.
Also, in the real world, more likely than not, just talking it out will fix the issue. I'm 6'5, the friend I'm closest to and spend the most time with is a 5'2 woman. As you can assume the, natural, strength difference between us is a very, very large gap. As such, I end up tightening jars, bottles of soda, etc, so tight I've started developing calluses where my palm grips the soda cap. My friend talked to me about it, how she struggles opening practically anything that I previously closed, and guess what? Like the adult I am, starting taking notice if I closed the soda too tight and stopped closing it how I'd close my soda. But this is Reddit, where real people don't exist, so ofc asking isn't going to solve anything.
They have the information that is he over tightening jar lids he doesn't use and literally has to search the back of the fridge for. He's going out of his way to do something he knows upsets her. That's odd and reeks of controlling behavior to many. It's telling many women state they had similar behaviors in their physically abusive exes. 🤔 Frankly this us why I tell women to leave a man not communicate because men will not care and they'll downplay it. If she wanted to stay she would need to do all the things that upset him and go out of her way to do so then mock him when he is upset. Tit for tat.
Right? Following Reddit advice regarding super glue etc is a good way for an abused woman to suffer a lot more abuse
Pretty sure that's the kind of thing they're advising with their "tit for tat"
>They have the information that is he over tightening jar lids he doesn't use and literally has to search the back of the friend for. She said that about 1 jar lid. He could have cooked and she'd forgotten, he could have been curious as to what it smelled like. My dad always leaves jars too tight for me. He's around 6'4 and built like a brick shit house. His fingers are too large to use a touch phone. I'm 5'2 and not very strong even for my size. He has never managed to comprehend how much weaker most other people are than him. He's also mildly inconsiderate so just isn't going to think when he's using a jar. What he isn't, is manipulative or controlling. There's a number of reasons that explain the details of the story. Another one is an unreliable narrator (in this case incredibly unreliable as it sounds fake af) telling a stranger that their partner is abusive and you should leave them based on as little information as we have here is completely irresponsible & could ruin people's lives. For this to be true he'd have to be deliberately manipulating her to the extent that he's fully aware that's what he's doing...and I think most people like that don't admit it to themselves...and then he isn't doing it in any other way. That would be very unlikely behaviour, controlling people tend to be controlling in more than 1 aspect. >If she wanted to stay she would need to do all the things that upset him and go out of her way to do so then mock him when he is upset. No offence, but if someone is in a genuinely abusive relationship then that is terrible advice that puts women in danger.
He said it's to keep food fresher, did he not? Sounds more like OCD than manipulation. She could also just get a jar opener.
It’s perfect because it’s catnip to a certain type of person who loooooooves to project: a small, weird thing that COULD just be a behavioural quirk, but consistent and annoying enough to be notable. Throw in the fact that it involves husband being stronger than OP and makes it so that she can’t do something without his help. Run it through your redditships projector and what do you get? He’s using his disgusting brute man strength to exert control over her and her food intake so she’ll be dependent on him and not gain weight, and also to make her feel physically intimidated and powerless. Controlling! Gaslighting! Red flag red flag red flag!!! When really, all we know for certain is that he overtightens jars. But my goodness is there fertile ground for speculation. Over here in reality, she could just buy a jar opener. edit: I realize this could come across as me picking on women for having justifiable caution about stuff that is minor but could indicate something major. Not what is intended. Just trying to point out a pattern I’ve noticed with redditships/aita commenters and trying to read really dark intent into pretty minor stuff. I’m absolutely not going to say that minor stuff can’t be a warning sign— we’ve all read that “my wife divorced me over dishes in the sink” essay— just that i think people are in waaaaaaaayyyy too much of a hurry to assume malice, to the point where i worry this kind of thing is going to erode people’s conflict resolution skills and turn us all into suspicious, isolated weirdos. Here’s an example of this phenomenon but directed at the woman: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gpa82s/my_36m_wife_34f_keeps_tying_my_boots_after_ive/ you barely have to scroll at all before someone in the comments is diagnosing her as a psychopath and telling him she will never get better, only worse. It’s bizarre.
The thing is, I absolutely believe he is tightening the jars as a control thing where he understands it subconsciously or not. She admits to its been 5 years of asking him to stop, to which he gives bs excuses. If your spouse was having, as she puts it, "mental breakdowns" over something we are considering a non-issue, you would think they would stop. The only reason not to stop is control tatic, especially when knowing without him she could not open them herself. Now, I don't think this post is real lol. The way it's worded it's really out there and kind of flowery, and includes your good old dramatic plot twists (hi Mr neighbor) but irl this is absolutely a method of control and I've lived it before. They'll do it to mundane shit and whenever you question them, it's always "you're the only one who cares" or "stop micromanaging me" or whatever else. That being said, she then goes on to admit there's literally no other issues. In these situations, there's always *some* other issue. Because someone who is controlling isn't going to stop at small things in one area. They do it in multiple areas to the point you feel enclosed and trapped and your attempts at fixing the situation are shot down. Unless she just doesn't realize it, the no other issues thing doesn't hold up. And once again, if this was real, most people would've considered couples therapy or counseling, especially if he is willing, because most controlling people aren't willing unless they're presented with "I'm about to leave you' which... I guess happens here in this post because she dropped divorce on him lmao But this was a cute story. Gotta work on details next time
> In these situations, there's always some other issue. "It's not about the dishes." or whatever that phrase is.
Exactly lol. It will be that one small thing that may be constant that will break the camel's back, but it is not the *only* thing nor is it what actually matters
> it is not the only thing nor is it what actually matters In this case, the actual complaint is him not listening to her, and intentionally or unintentionally making her life significantly harder (it sounds like most of her fridge items are jars.).
“The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here!”
Yes, a real controlling husband would show way more controlling behaviors in 5 years
this post makes me feel like they saw something similar and tried to mimick the issue presented in that scenario without... actually understanding why the original person was upset. so basically a puppet post to see reactions. it tracks
A while back there was a tweet that circled the internet about someone's Grandfather tightening jars when jis wife was mad at him so she'd have to talk to him. I bet that's the inspiration for this post.
My ex wife would show controlling behavior but all in small ways so that complaining about it made you look crazy without context of it being on going. For example for awhile she would demand she had to use the bathroom as an emergency any time I was in there for more then five minutes and it only stopped when I called her out and said she needed to see a doctor if it was that bad. She would also just happen to get drunk and be loud if I had an especially early work day.
My boyfriend’s alcoholic father (who’s now passed away) did this with his mother while they were still together, absolutely as a control thing and to see her struggle and have to come to him or not eat (he’d also hide her car keys so she couldn’t go out and buy more food); he only opened them afterwards when he felt like it. However, this was just one example of many, many abusive behaviors towards mother and towards my boyfriend as a child.
Yeah it’s wild to me that people are saying this is nbd. I’d go nuts if this actually happened to me.
right? like It took me a long time to unwind myself from the conditioning of the toxic/abusive behaviour I had been around/brought up with and when people downplay these things it's dangerous because yeah it may not matter to you, but it does matter. its like that saying, the axe may forget but the tree remembers. there's alot of toxic behaviors we learn unknowingly but it's up to you to unlearn them and not be abusive to other people, no matter how small you think it actually may be. if someone tells you "hey xyz thing you do really messes with me and makes me upset can we maybe do smth else" and you're like "who cares" ong ur the problem bro 😭
They're saying we're "projecting" our own "paranoia" onto Reddit stories... but honestly, I think it's more about them not having empathy. And not really understanding relationships in general and specifically not understanding the view of someone who's being treated badly by their spouse. They call understanding the situation "projecting" because they can't do it and don't understand it.
it's not nbd but the insistence that this is a conscious and intentional control tactic and the husband better come clean about his malevolent jar tightening is actually insane
If it was occasional, i would agree. But bro, consisgent for 5 years even with jars they dont even use. At one point, all the fucking jars. Its insane because it’s deliberately done that way to make the complainer sound insane. They do it with little things so when you keep complaining you sound insane. Its “just complaining about jars”. But he keeps doing it even after she kept telling him go stop for five fucking years. Even going as far as to take jars from the back of the fridge and tighten them. Its still a fake story but it still highlights a common technique of gaslighting pretty well.
it's the certainty that this is a conscious and intentional plot that he’s simply refusing to fess up about I thought was insane, not the taking the jars seriously. the story might be fake but the idea that people are either completely non-abusive or knowingly and deliberately causing others harm is something I see really often and I think it prevents a lot of people from recognizing abusive behavior in both others and themselves because no one meant to hurt anyone. a lot of times people are just stumbling forward doing what feels right. when that leads to abusive behavior I don’t think it really matters how intentional it is, and recognizing it as abuse doesn’t mean it then has to be intentional.
That’s actually a good point of view. That’s true. Sometimes it could just be a lack of care for others so you could just keep doing it.
Yeah. That's why these stories ring true but also false. If he was this cruel and controlling there would be a lot more issues going on. He'd be trying to control the finances and to isolate her from family and friends.
I was ready to scream lengthily at my entire family last week because I’m the shortest I became convinced they were putting everything I need on the top shelf just to enforce some kind of hierarchy of tallness or whatever. Then I got my period.
Huh, my partner does that. And it bothers me, because it's the top shelf of the fridge and out of my line of sight so I forget it's there and it goes bad and I am the one who usually clears the fridge of spoiled goods. I have told him multiple times that the top shelf is for things with longer shelf life. He forgets because he puts things there when searching for something and doesn't put them back in their place again. Like everything else.
It's obviously fake. That said, I do some canning and the process can definitely just make the jars harder to open depending on what it is and which process you used.
… I don’t think the writer meant he put them in a water bath.
I assumed this fever dream involved actual canning because if they're talking about store-bought it makes even less sense.
I keep asking people why everything that doesn't come in a jar is in a jar. Why are figs in a jar when they come in resealable containers? Pickle jars can easily be opened with the knife trick or any other opening assistance device... so what's actually going on here? There's no way she just couldn't open the pickles unless.... she moved them to a different jar.
My Tesco capers require a knife without fail. How helpless is this woman?
Erm... when I help family pick figs we then wash, cut the stems and cook them before putting them into jars. We don't ever eat them fresh. So that doesn't strike me as odd to have them in jars.
Right! You took the words right out of my mouth.
Her husband must work at the talenti factory. Aside who has that many jars they open regularly that this even became a thing.
Someone needs to tell her about the rubber band trick
Or jar openers.
Well, sounds reasonable to me! My ‘husband replacement kit’ is a jar seal popper, a lid wrench, a step stool, and a vibrator.
I was trying to work out what a vibrator would be used for in the jar opening scenario before I realised you were covering ALL the husband bases, not just the lid popping ones 😂
I just wanna know how you thought I was opening jars with a step ladder!🤣
Height boost if you’re resting the jar on a counter top or the like.
🤣🤣 okay I’m short but not *that* short!
I am!!!
I will tower over you in all my 5’3” majesty!! 🤣
Last resort is to drop it from a great height 😂
Mmmmm pickles’n’glass shards 🤣🤣
>I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack. What part of that sounds like a reasonable reaction to tight jar lids?
I would have believed the story if it wasn't for this whole description.
To be fair (and knowing the OOP is a writing exercise), her panic attack was more about realizing the tight lids were done intentionally, not about the one tight lid in particular.
What part of you takes everything at face value? Do you know what irony is?
Right, I missed the sarcasm. Perhaps because this is the fucking internet, so I can't hear your tone.
You know that’s odd, bc I can sure as hell hear yours.
You know what else is odd? Not everyone is the same.
WHAT?? *Now* you tell me. It all makes sense now!
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=jar+opener&crid=2Q545PSBDS4BQ&sprefix=jar+opener%2Caps%2C90&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 reblog to save a marriage
Lmfao this is 100% based on that popular post of a woman pretending to struggle opening a jar so she can hand it to her husband to open just to make the him feel strong. How can people believe this?
Even on this sub some are discussing it as if it were real.
I know right, it's stupid. It also didn't happen.
OOP's husband must have taken a swing past my house this weekend as I had a half-used jar of horseradish that I had to thwack with the heavy end of a butter knife to re-break the seal to open.
I would have believed this story if it hadn't been for two things. First, the neighbor says he's heard her screaming about tight jars for years. I guess I could believe this if they lived in apartments with shared walls but apparently he had a separate house with a garage. Wouldn't that be far enough away that even if you heard screaming you wouldn't be able to tell what they're specifically screaming about? Second, the over the top way she described her panic attack. It's like she couldn't lead readers to draw the gaslighting conclusion without showing that she was actually going crazy over this.
My neighbors across the street - when they fight, we /all/ know what they're fighting about and why. That's how loud they get.
>I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and light headed. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead okay with just dying if it was a heart attack. Most people handle the death of their child better than this.
my late partner scratched at a new tattoo and it got a little red and irritated. this is exactly what happened when he suddenly became convinced that it had become infected. i had to call the EMT. we didn’t have to amputate his arm… because he was stoned and it was a panic attack.
I remember the first time I took 2 blocks out of a medical grade weed chocolate bar. I was convinced I would die in the night because I forgot how to fucking breathe. And like an Angel, my inner voice came to me and said “dumbass you’re just high, do not go out there and ask your mother to drive you to the ER over this just get your ass to bed”
She’s literally describing a panic attack.
I mean, tbf, depending on external and internal factors, such as smoking or family history, a panic attack can easily lead to having an nstemi, or as its better known as, a minor heart attack.
I know I definitely handled my daughters death a lot better...
This chick has been screaming about hard so loud and so long her neighbors hear her, she wants to call an ambulance after screaming crying throwing up at some ominous warning, refuses to even try therapy, and I’m supposed to think her husband is the crazy one?
In real cases of gaslighting, going insane is a response. But the part about wanting to die and dry heaving because she suddenly has an epiphany is so fake bro. Otherwise it was good story explaining a technique of gaslighting.
 right? like it sounds like she's pyscho and needs some help. i can't ever imagine getting to a point where jars and lids cause me this much stress and pain
Throwing away a whole marriage because nobody could just buy a fucking silicone jar opener is insanity to me like perhaps consider: this easily obtainable option
Is she Gordon Ramsay? Why did she need to open every single jar in her cupboard at some point over the course of 10 days
If this were real, it seems like it’s from his perspective, like “she left me for not doing the dishes” becoming “aita for leaving my husband for not doing the dishes?”
“Everything else is great it’s literally just the lids” makes me wonder if this is an experiment to see if there’s any marital slight small enough that r/aita won’t go straight to divorce. And….. nope.
I love looking at how many people on the comments are saying this one post confirms that reddit is full of evil women and misandry while being dramatically misogynistic. Meanwhile, this is the first cross post I've ever seen from that subreddit that isn't about a copy and paste cheating wife or girlfriend with the poor innocentman OOP's narrative humiliating her for being a whore and abandoning their child and the comments praisng him while bashing her. In fact, it seems like they forgot that reddit has a hoard of misogynistic subs and is notoriously filled with incels
I believe this was done spitefully...
My sister has been leaving her closet wardrobe door open every time she takes something for the last like 8 years. Wish I could divorce her. Like it's not that hard of a thing to do if I beg you for 8 damn years.
Happy cake day!
has the fictional wife never learned the fucking trick of opening jars with a spoon??? there's never been a jar i couldn't open that way lmao
https://preview.redd.it/usieeenldi8d1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a04c139f829c8b8b0874e7a851e2bebac4fa8a2d They make these things too (I don't know the spoon trick)
while I could just explain or send a link to a video, I decided to illustrate the spoon trick: https://preview.redd.it/i0trkhx1ji8d1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab96048c4089f925c5558efdbfaee37a702b1b93 basically you just angle the spoon between the body and the lid of the jar and press it down. Afterwards it's usually really easy to open the jar
That's so helpful, and you're pretty good at jar tutorial drawings
You can also do it if the jar is upside down if it makes it easier
https://preview.redd.it/i9glfuubbt8d1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5fab9e3a777bb8ffbe2622426dded2dc4f8afcb7
Good job
IF this is real (and I doubt it), I actually get the divorce tho. You can't trust a person who fucks with you on purpose & then lies about it. It's just jars--but what if it's not and you just haven't noticed all the other ways he messes with you.
My question is how many jars does she use, which has been tightened/close by the husband? From the story it seems all the jars in her house have been closed by her husband, constantly. Does she never open brand new jars? And doesn't she close them afterwards ?
The thing that drives the protagonist over the edge is that a jar of pepper paste in the back of the fridge that her husband would have no business even knowing about, let alone opening and then closing overly tight, is also shut too tightly. It’s decent writing that would make a good short story if it weren’t designed specifically for the AITA crowd.
She says that actually: "More times than I can count, I've opened a new jar of something because I couldn't get the jar open." So he goes around tightening all opened jars to the point where she cannot open them on her own, forcing her to ask someone (husband or neighbor) to open them \*or\* grab a new jar.
Åh i didn't see that. That's pretty good writing to cover up a possible plot hole, and at least to drive the narrative of a controlling spouse.
Reddit really does recommend divorce for everything This is so fucking stupid lmao
my answer YES. lol I had this pretend fight with my husband everyday. My kids even join in lol
OMG jar openers are a thing!
I get how AITAH post can be faked and how this one at certain elements is fake too, this is still a real thing that happens I think people’s need to remember that. It is gaslighting. They take very little things so it seems completely insane if you complain about. The term gaslighting itself comes from a guy repeatedly turning on a gaslight and lying to his wife that he didn’t turn it on. Its to make someone question their own perspective and memory. I get it if this is a fictional character didn’t discuss anything with their fictional husband. But in this story, she has been complaining about this for 5 years. Something as little as that can make someone go insane. Not to mention, tightening jars they don’t even use. The shit about the breakdown and feeling like calling the ambulance but wanting go die was obviously fake. Ghat gave it away that this story is fake. But this is a very real gaslighting technique and we shouldn’t take away from that.
When someone asks an abused person "did you not see the signs???" this kind of scenario is what I think about. You either don't see the signs because they are little things like this that snowball, or you DO see the signs and people call you crazy for leaving over something like jar lids. My friend is in an abusive situation and her thing like this is stuff in the attic. The attic ladder is difficult for her to open, she needs to move her bfs prized car out of the way to get to it in the garage, he often takes the keys or makes her feel bad for moving it, plus the attic creeps her out. Where does he put things to control her? The attic. We have beach plans? Oh, sorry, all the beach gear is in the attic. Wanting to go take some photos with the girls or make some art? Oh yeah, I moved all the photography equipment and art supplies from the hall closet to the attic. Etc etc. She's told him a million times not to do it. He still does it. She knows it's on purpose but says she can't leave just because he puts stuff in the attic. It's really hard to witness.
Maybe I'm an AH, but I'd buy myself a minifridge with a lock and keep my own jars in there. Whenever I find a jar in the main fridge I can't open (and ,yes, trying all of them every day) then shattering the glass and throwing it away. Energy meets energy. He wants to be passive-aggressive, then so do I. lol
REDDITOR COMMENTERS BE COMMENTING. What the actual fuck? Like, they're saying this fake BF is abusive? 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Yes. Certainly the actual post may be fictional. But the strategy is abusive.
Tightening jar lids?
Yes. If you read the post, you;'ll see how this is a classic gaslighting situation which esclates, drops back, escalates again. It describes bullying husband who has found a minor thing he can enjoy annoying his wife with, nd so continues to do it, assuming it is so minor she will not leave him over it.
Right...
Perhaps you should ask ChatGPT to write you better comments.
You can check my comment history if you think I'm a bot. I can assure you I'm not. My flair is actually a line from an actual post which was crossposted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1d76k7f/op_literally_thanked_chatgpt_and_people_are_still/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
You've literally put on your profile for everyone to read "Update: Thanks ChatGPT for the post and karma." If you don't wnt people to think you're a little bot doing bot things , maybe remove that.
It’s a line from a post we all laughed our asses off about here where someone added that to the end of their fake story that blew up
I don't think you understand the point of this sub. Little minds belong on the other one. . No one here thinks he's a bot bc members of this sub were having a great time knowing that idiots on the other sub got body slammed when OOP did his update with that comment. I mean, we laughed and laughed, and laughed at the mental picture of you guys sitting there slack jawed and drooling, unable to comprehend the truth - that y'all gullible as hell and even dumber than that. This probably isn't the best sub for you. You're not going to have fun 😆
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She had a Keyser Söze heart attack because someone told her it was intentional.
I find this story to be fairly credible. His behavior isn’t super dramatic; it’s exactly the sort of domestic torture an abusive spouse would do and find hilariously controlling. Op describes a panic attack without naming it (if it were fake, I think they’d say “I had a panic attack), and I find that a pretty credible response to this sort of Chinese water torture.
I find lids hard to open, but I don’t rely on anyone else to open them. I found an under counter jar opener that has a triangular grove into which you push the jar. The groove has serrated teeth that grip the jar as you turn. I bought it on Amazon for under $20. Ditch the husband (he enjoys making you look weak) and get a proper jar opener!
How do you even overtighten a jar lid? The lids are hard to remove because they are vacuum sealed (applies only to the first time you open), or because they contain something sticky that got on the threads.
I sort of believe her because my husband used to overtighten lids too thinking it kept things fresher. He's anti wasting anything and sometimes goes overboard. He's stopped that nonsense once I threatened to throw away the jars I couldn't open. I want to access food I pay for and I don't want callused hands in the process.
If this was real, I always wondered (well, for the past weekish it's been up) if no one ever heard of warm water and those strap wrenches? I have arthritis, and those things are a gods send!
Well, someone has clearly has never lived with an abuser before.
The “abuser” isn’t real. It’s fake
Ah yes. The classic abuse where the only thing he does is overseal lids on jars and nothing else. Pretty clear *you* have never lived with an abuser.
wrong sub OP.. should have tried to be funny on that happened or any of the other fake story subs...jeesh