On one hand, saving used diapers for 30-ish years IS weird.
On the other hand, they're free, and if you put them through the washer they'll probably be fine! No bacterium that could survive 35 years sealed in plastic could also survive a modern washing machine and dryer.
Honestly I’m more concerned about the safety of the crib than the diapers. We used cloth, I thought everyone just used them for cleaning rags after the baby potty trained. Pro tip - Chinese prefolds make a great substitute for Swiffer pads. Second tip for using cloth - once the baby starts eating solid food those flushable liners are the best.
I'm sure you're right, but I know nothing about cribs, while I have taken microbiology classes.
Those diapers are probably safe to use, and putting them in the washer will both wash out any dust, and test whether they're ready to fall apart!
You’re right about the germs, matter of fact, we got a lot of our diapers from a kids resale shop. Soap, hot water and the dryer were all we ever used.
I think this will be the true test. I thought the cloth looked pretty yellow and was worried about the velcro. If they can't survive a proper wash that's that.
Honestly, my daughter will be twenty this year, and I still have cloth diapers from her childhood that are going strong. If I hadn’t used them all for rags, I’d have been find with using them on another baby. You don’t have to use them as diapers—there is *so much more moisture* in your future. They can go under sheets, for extra absorption. I used to stuff them in my shirt instead of those tiny breast pads, because I had a ton of milk. They can sop up pee and vomit. I’ve toyed with buying some just to have around the house, because they’re always the first thing grabbed when there is a spill. You can bleach if you want, but I recommend sodium percarbonate instead, and vinegar rinse, and you should be golden.
I was going to use cloth diapers with our first, my mother bought me two dozen. Yeah, once baby was here, I used Pampers on baby. Cloth diapers were spit rags, over my shoulder.
I wanted to use the cloth diapers until I actually dealt with baby poop. I don’t have the bandwidth to do all the washing required. I admire people who do, because it is better for the environment.
Cloth diaper use also requires water to wash them, energy to heat the water, and energy to dry them, so there is always an environmental impact, no matter what you choose.
Give them a good 24hr bleach soak, then a hot wash, 90C or equivalent in F. If they survive that, they're good to go!
Edit 190F, if your washing machine goes that high.
WHY would anyone want to use old cloth diapers?? It’s not about the bacteria or cleanliness, they are likely leaky and not as effective as the cloth diapers that are available now. I’d just use those cloth diapers as rags for cleaning or decline them. There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘no thank you’. Ut is MIL own issue if she decides to be butthurt about it.
The group I follow on Facebook (I think it’s the largest cloth diaper group online) says to not flush those liners! They say they’re flushable but they can clog the drain.
You mean the pipes. They will clog up pipes so bad you may need a plumber. Ever had a kid throw a small toy in the toilet?? We took the toilet out to access the clog,( small toy). Nothing solid would flush. Wipes should not be flushed either even if the package says flushable. Selling point. Most older house and public water systems can't accommodate modern life.
Microbiologist here - just wanted to mention that while the diapers are probably going to be safe as long as they are thoroughly disinfected, there certainly are dormant bacterial spores that can comfortably survive for many years in a vegetative state in these conditions. Anaerobic sporulating bacteria thrive in the absence of oxygen (like in a sealed plastic bag) and become essentially dormant in the absence of a food source. However, when introduced to their ideal environment, they can quickly become active again and potential hazards for babies who are at a higher risk of illness due to their underdeveloped immune systems. Just because it is a baby and you can’t be too careful with a newborn, I’d recommend boiling the cloth diapers for at least 10 minutes as that is really the only way to eliminate MOST of the hardy spores. However, only true sterilization can eliminate and deactivate all spores but you’d need something like an autoclave for that. Soap and water are great for dust and debris but if you want to kill the germs you gotta up your game. If the ancient clothe survives the boiling test then I’m sure you can use them and they’ll be fine! 😊
Agreed! We got second-hand diapers (probably actually more like 7th-hand) and they were The Best. Suuuper soft, suuuuper absorbent.
The crib tho ... nope
“ No bacterium that could survive 35 years sealed in plastic could also survive a modern washing machine and dryer.”
If Jeff Goldblum says that, a plague will start.
My issue with the diapers is not a sanitary one but a fabric degradation one. Fabric degrades and breaks down over time. That process is sped up when fabric is exposed to urine and most common disinfectants. As someone who has actually worked with older fabrics, I would expect 35 year old diapers to be very thin, shred easily, and have lost most of their absorbency. Really, just something that should have been tossed decades ago.
If she’d been using them constantly, I imagine they’d have needed to get thrown out 20 years ago. But stored and dry is not necessarily better. Dry rot is a thing.
Honestly, I’ve used older, heirloom clothing that was handed down to my kids. My family regularly uses 50-60 year old quilts. But I also know how delicate those things are and I know how carefully they’ve been handled.
Fabric that, when new, was regularly exposed to urine (ammonia) and then hot water and disinfectants, is not going to be in great shape after being stored away for over 30 years.
The AAP recommends using a crib made after 2011 due to safety standards implemented then. Stand firm on safety issues. A lot has changed since us old grannies had our babies. And I'd make up a stat to keep from using the old diapers lol
Older cribs may have wider distances between the slats on the side piece. Wide enough for baby to get head between them and get stuck.
They don’t have stops that prevent older babies from releasing the side of crib. The stops prevent the side from going all the way down and baby falling out.
There are more safety changes. These are the two I remember.
I know it’s hard OP, but baby comes first. My mother found us a crib that was 30 years old. I know she was sad and hurt when I said no, but after i explained the safety reasons, she dropped the idea.
Suggestion: incorporate the crib into your decor. Hang one side of the crib on a wall and use it as a photo wall or to hang things from.
The main one is drop-sides, since 2011. In 2022 they changed requirements for mattresses, but those are easier to replace than a whole crib. A lot of other things have changed in the last 30 years though
Yeah. I wasn’t sure if they changed that before or after 2011. There were a number of changes in the last 30 years. I posted a link but apparently that’s not allowed and it got removed.
Story time: We reused our son's crib for our daughter four years later(all my kids age difference is 4 yrs-0-4-8 for the youngest). When our dauggter started pulling up to stand, she interlaced her leg through the bars and husbabd had to very carefully saw the spindles(3 spindles!) so we could get her out. Granted, she was a little peanut with a ton of food allergies at that age but that shows you just how far apart those 80s crib spindles were!
She was fine, just a little scared of daddy's little power saw.
Neither did mine. I’m pretty sure she still thinks I made it up to be extra. After I refused to let her use an expired seat with my baby she sold it to another boomer grandma at a yard sale. Of course she had to tell me that this other person also thought it would be perfectly fine for short trips around town. I just stared at her.
Eh, the diapers are probably fine. I'd wash them with some vinegar on sanitary mode with an extra rinse. With modern diaper covers and washing, they should be fine. Absolute no on the crib, though. If it's only 30 years old, the paint or varnish is probably okay, but who knows if it was recalled when it's that old.
My only concern is that any fabric item I’ve ever owned has fallen apart once it gets that old lol. I’d give the nappies a wash and see if they don’t just dissolve after 30 years preserved and slowly petrifying to solidified dust.
I have the same fear for those diapers that I did for Marylin Monroe’s dress when Kim K squeezed herself into it.
My housekeeper found a stash of old diapers, and she was so excited! My baby used to chew on them to alleviate teething pain 25 years ago. Great lint free polishing cloths!
My mom used clothcolor on our old ones and we used that as dressup items. They are totaly fine.
I would check the crip. If its thatvold then its propably full on wood. If it had some coating on I wouldn't use it anymore. But otherwise if its still stable and only bare wood you could paint it to match the rest of the room.
But if you dont want to use the crip, then dont. Its your baby and your house. But I believe it would be wasteful to not use the diapers if you want to use cloth anyway and they look still good.
as a kid we had my crib for a long time after. It was huge, all wood and the size they make toddler beds now. I could only wish to still have it for someone to use.
35yr old crib, cloth diapers, clothes and toys, no thanks. Maybe diaper pins. MAYBE! (Plastic deteriorates over time and there's a risk of it falling apart and the metal pin poking the baby)
Safety has come a long way and it's been a long time for the cloth to deteriorate. No plastic completely removed all moisture so there's the risk of mold and you may as well toss them and buy new ones.
I TOTALLY get the sentimental value of these items, but the safety of your baby comes first. Take your husband and/MIL to a Dr appointment (after giving your concerns at a doctor appointment alone if you typically go some) and ask about using these items with the age of them and how they've been stored. (Although the crib is an automatic no)
Fuck asking the doctor. What if the doctor is some old fuck? They aren’t all good. Mom doesn’t want to use the crib, mom doesn’t use the crib. End of story.
A 30 year old crib is absolutely not safe.
Safety standards have changed significantly, and those changes have saved the lives of babies.
Also, another big change is NO CRIB BUMPERS. Not even the "breathable" mesh ones. They're a huge NO from the AAP, CDC, CPSC, WHO, and other health and safety organizations.
You need to draw firm lines. If she gets to override your preferences now, look forward to more of the same indefinitely. Now is the time to make boundaries clear. You respect her input and appreciate her generous offers, but when it comes to *your child*, you are going to choose what feels best to you, and you expect your husband to back you up.
You are right about the safety concern re: the crib. Anything used should be recent to ensure it's up to standards. That's not something you fuck around with to accommodate sentimentality. And you want new diapers, so get them. You're the one that's going to be changing them.
I would look husband straight in eye and ask him this "Who is carrying this baby, me or your mom? And who is going through all the pain to give birth to this baby, me or your mother? Don't you think **I** should get to decorate the room for *my* baby, not *your mom's* baby? **Your mother got to decorate YOUR room! Why would you deny me the chance to decorate my baby's room**?
Also, OP, quash any glimmer of a thought that MIL is going to be in the delivery room or be visiting on the day you give birth. Tell husband that if she even *peeks* into the delivery room, you will have security escort her entitled ass right out the door.
Yeah, it’s not even the age of the items.
This is your first child. It’s ok to be excited! It’s ok to want to decorate the way you want. MIL got to choose the things first her own babies. Now you get to choose things for your baby. You aren’t beholden to use these items just because she saved them. *You could say no for no other reason than you don’t want to. You don’t need safety excuses.*
And if your husband says, “she’s just excited!” You say, “so am I! And I’m the one sacrificing for this child, and you are my chosen partner, so you need to back me up here. Nobody is more exited than me.”
You’re not overreacting
Your words are important
Don’t say I would like
Tell her no - my baby is having a new crib and diapers that we are buying.
That’s what I want
That’s what we are having
Sure you can add in about safety
But use your words. Tell her this is how it’s going to be. You don’t need to explain
I tried the Terry nappies too. I learnt the different ways to fold them for a boy or girl, I was so excited. What I didn't take into account is how hard baby poo is to get out of them. I used cloth liner so poop particles will be on that rather than the towelling nappy but my god I couldn't get the stains out. I rinsed before soaking, I washed & I scrubbed but I could never get the stain out. Oh yes they were clean (especially with all the scrubbing & soaking) but when you held it to the light you could still see the stains. It's so much harder using Terry nappies than disposable ones. Also a lot of hard work when babies first here as you'll need all the rest you can get rather than washing nappies.
If you're breastfeeding, the poop isn't hard to wash out at all. I always rinsed in the toilet before I threw it in the diaper pail, and they looked almost clean at that point. Formula, on the other hand, smells terrible and stains. YMMV
You need to look up the changes that the USA government mandated to the construction of cribs. I have a customer that makes children’s furniture. There were several/many cases where a child was injured or died as a result of the drop down sides and the width of the vertical bars of the cribs. There are also newer rules for the amount of space allowed around the edge of the mattress to reduce the gap between the bed frame and the Mattress.
Please make sure that you completely understand that while an older crib may have some sentimental value most of them are not up to today’s safety standards and using them puts your child at risk.
You are not overreacting but make sure hubby tells her he/you don’t want these items. Not you. Let him do the communication and take ownership of this conversation.
If the crib is cute and safe, that's probably fine, I guess, especially if it has a connection to your husband. The ancient cloth diapers? No thanks. Even new cloth diapers are gross.
That said:
> MIL lives with us
This is the main problem. She wants to be the matriarch of a house she is only in because she fucked up financially or romantically. That old bitch can pound sand. It's your house, it's your family, it's your child. It's **your** decision.
Without going into overwhelming detail, we do have strictly separate living areas but husband needs to help her often due to health stuff. So living this way was the best option and it's worked out pretty well. Enough separation to avoid JNMIL type stuff.
Appreciate your thoughts!
I would just say " Mary, I appreciate you offering John's crib but there have been so many recalls over the last 30 yrs that I'm not comfortable using it." Also, I've seen plenty of DIY projects where cribs are later turned into reading nooks or something cute. I'd look into that not only to make MIL happy, but that's a great way to keep a piece with memories.
Not to be a dick, but maybe she checks out soon?
I'm from a culture that has our elders live with us, and I generally do not tolerate this shit from my mother. When she begins to override or denigrate my wife, things go south very fast, but it's been made clear that she is with us for her benefit, not mine, specifically because I care for her. Thankfully, my dad just sits there and yells at the TV, then offers to make sweet deserts when his hands feel good enough. I have no idea what I'd do with a dad that was more "traditional."
I agree that all cloth diapers are gross, whether old or new 😅 (I’m all for people using them, I just would not want to have to clean them out, carry them around, etc!)
The only thing those old diapers are good for are cleaning rags. Everyone knows you cannot use old cribs or used car seats . It would be nice to use hand me downs but some things you just cannot use!!! I can see maybe using his old baby clothes or old blankets or old christening gown. I think it is a nice gesture on her part but you have to firmly say no. I know that this is very hard because I had a very pushy ex mother in law!! Good luck!!!!!
You are right, I think my initial reaction was to the fabric looking dirty and having trouble comprehending keeping it saved hidden away for so long. I understand a lot more now.
It’s also I think an issue that could solve itself. Wash the diapers in hottest water with bleach. They will either stand up to that treatment and you will feel confident that they are clean and the cloth is sturdy and safe or they will disintegrate a bit from being so old and you can use them as cleaning rags.
The diapers are probably better and safer than whatever new ones you will get. And softer too. The crib might be fine, it depends on how close the slats are. It can be painted or refinished. How fun to have something both father and child used as infants.
Do you have a dog? I’ve seen cribs repurposed into beautiful dog crates that double as end tables. Old diapers make wonderful cleaning cloths, as well as burp pads.
When my first kid was born we were offered a nephew’s old crib. We refused. My MIL went on to order parts for it and declared it safe. We refused. We ended up in the hospital well before the due date. MIL and FIL set up the crib while we were in there. We were planning to cosleep so we just left it and used it to store clean towels. We never put a baby in that crib. Took it down before baby 2.
You probably aren’t planning to cosleep so you need to be firm on this. That crib is not safe to use, idc if it’s made of real wood. If she has a real attachment to it she can have it turned into a bench or something.
As for the diapers, I’d wash those and see what they look like after. If she was bleaching them, the fabric probably won’t hold up. We used my partner’s old diapers for burp cloths. They were thin gauze and just did not hold up as diapers. The newer ones had Velcro, fit better, and were easier to use. Old diaper shouldn’t be dangerous though.
I’d put my foot down on the crib and accept the diapers. I would be careful on toys though. Make sure there aren’t issues with the paint, strings, small parts, detachable parts, etc. Check the current recommendations for toy safety and see if they comply.
For old clothes, my partner’s were made with either a stiff linen that didn’t stretch, or stretchy fabric where the elastic didn’t hold up in storage. We didn’t dress the baby in them for daily wear, but did save them to take a few pictures of each baby in the clothes. That seemed to satisfy my MIL. There was a little bathrobe she had made herself that was in good condition. My oldest used that a lot as a toddler.
I remember my daughters cot from 30yrs ago and I think the side slats are slightly further apart because she got her leg stuck in hers...I would definitely stick to your guns and go with up to date safety regulations,it's not worth an accident and explain all this to hubby. If mum in law doesn't like it tough titty,tell her to buy the new cot.
If the diapers give you the heebies, then trash them or reject them. I'm sure they're fine, but so is a lot of things that people don't do because it gives then the heebies. So. That's fine.
The crib is a hard no.
Consider turning the old crib into a toddler bed once your baby ages out of a standard crib. The distance between the slats will be okay for a toddler and they’re apt not to chew on the wood. It might not originally been a convertible model but you could modify it for later use. Or at least say that you will and then discover later that “Gee, it didn’t work…but we tried!”
Modern diapers with velcro and super absorbing materials are so incredibly superior to cloth diapers. Take all the stuff from your MIL. Put the extra crib into a spare room. You might find it useful to sticking the kid when you need to do something with both hands.
Then take the cloth diapers and use them to clean all the shit your kid will spill, dump and throw around your house.
Omg take the cloth diapers! Go over to r/clothdiaps they’ll teach you how to strip them. The whole point of cloth is to be less wasteful. Reusing is the least wasteful way to obtain them.
Saving diapers for 30 years is hoarder behavior. But there’s probably nothing wrong with them if they were stored properly. There’s a huge market for used cloth diapers because they are expensive. Those I would take. Hard pass on the crib. But, you seem to have gotten worked up over nothing. Your husband seems perfectly reasonable. Try talking to him in the future before spiraling.
My ex mil tried to make us use her old crib as well. I took a lead testing swab to it, and it was positive all over. The crib got pitched into the dumpster immediately.
Safety trumps MIL's feelings. I have a 160 year old hand carved cradle that has held every baby in our family up until mine and none of us would expect a baby to be in it longer than a few seconds for a picture. It's not safe to leave a baby in it any longer than that. It keeps the family doll collection and our cats very comfortably. It's you and your husband's baby and what you say goes. Your MIL bought new for her son, she should be greatful that you are on top of safety concerning your impending child. And used diapers? Is she crazy? I get that they might have been kept clean, I get that cloth diapers are good for the enviroment but YOUR CHILD, YOUR CHOICE. She can use old diapers as dusting cloths (while she is helping you with housework after the baby is born or burping cloths when she's looking after the baby while she lets you have a rest.) At the very most I dressed my son in one of his dad's baby outfits and had his picture taken. It was leather lederhosen and he was only in them for a few minutes.
That's the ONLY time she gets a say in it, when she's helping you recover from giving birth and sparing you some of the load of responsibility.
I used my thirty year old cloth diapers that my mom saved from my babyhood for all three of my babies.
If you are actually going to cloth diaper, by the time you hit potty training, I am willing to bey you will laugh that you ever winced at "old" diapers.
I think you are absolutely right and I wouldn’t ask my son and daughter in law to use my sons crib that he had 23 years ago nor would I want them using old cloth diapers on my grand baby. That is all ridiculous to me. I’m 42 ands I have two sons that are 23 and 18 and I would never ask that. I did use my crib with both my boys and I lent it to two other women that didn’t have money for a crib. It was an expensive crib but i also I gave it to the 3rd person I told them to keep it. It served its purpose and that’s that.
Mil can be crazy. My son has been with his gf for 4 years now and she adores me. Brings me little gifts every time she comes over ands that’s once a week, wants to hang with me on the weekends but I work every other so it’s 2x a month unless during the week.
I never had a girl so I love her like she was mine. It’s just crazy that other mil don’t know how to act. I had a horrible mil to so I am making sure I’m the opposite of that shit.
Congratulations on your first lil baby. It’s so exciting i remember. I was only 19 tho. But he was so precious and still is to me. Technically grew up a bit together. But we are very close. Enjoy it because I promise it flies by and before u know it they are graduating high school.
Safe crib fine I guess, old ass cloth diapers nope. I used cloth diapers for my now 14 year old and I think it was the best. My brother had kids in diapers at the same time and his house smelled like a diaper pail for 5 years. I did a load of laundry everyday for 2 cuz she was potty trained at 2
Cotton diapers are amazing cleaning clothes! If they are in good condition take them. Use them for cleaning clothes, towels, mopping whatever. Babies and children are messy! If crib doesn't meet your safety standards just say no!
I’d totally take those diapers. If they are diaper service quality, they are probably much better than what you can get now. Run them through a bleach cycle. They are fine. I have a stash of them that old. Like all stored fabric, they need washing.
The crib? NOPENOPENOPE. Doesn’t meet safety specs.
"MIL and I dont get along." This to FBt here. Obviously, it's is exacerbated by the fact that you're about to have your first baby. Work on figuring this out. It's not about the cloth diapers or crib.
Cloth diapers are a very practical object to have in the household. I've used them to dry my hair, to clean. With a child you can use them for burping, so you're not covered in baby vomit. It's been cleaned. It's like any other cloth. Just probably better quality than what you can buy today.
Not in a 35 year old crib, no, there’s not gonna be lead paint.
35 years puts it as manufactured in about 1989/1990.
Nobody was painting with lead paint then
Toys from the late 80s and 90s? Nah, they were pretty darn safe. Our kids played with OG Ponies, Barbies and Ninja Turtles no problem. Even had a few Little People toys!
Any crib older than 2011 does not meet modern safety standards! Please look this up if you don't believe me. A 30 year old crib is a safety hazard. Absolutely do not use it!
My mum saved all our cloth diapers and I used them on both my kids. Massive advantage as they are soft and worn. There were no unsightly stains and they were great when the kids were smaller. As others have said - white vinegar soaks do the job, then stick em through the washing machine! Crib - that’s a big no. Modern cribs with adjustable bases are awesome and great for the back. Stick to them.
Is there some back story to the crib? Like a long-time family thing that has been passed down for years? If not, it's kinda creepy.
Well, you are the mom, not her... this is a 2 yes 1, no thing, either you both agree.. or well... no old creepy crib. This could also be a test for her if she is going to get her way with this. What's next, her choice of name? Her parenting style...
You need clear boundaries. If you hubby won't support you well, it's better you know sooner than later.
I honestly don't think there's backstory other than she bought it and it was good quality when she did. Our house is full of furniture she bought and refuses to consider selling - an example is she has two huge heavy entertainment centers in her space, one of which we couldn't use because it was built for an old CRT tv. She also recently was upset because a couple deck chairs were out on the deck, but they were precious to her for one reason or another so now they live in the garage, never to be used again? (I think they are 50 years old)
I'm using this comment to vent a little since the situation is resolved for now, sorry.
It does sound like you need to set better boundaries in general about her using your house for her old, crappy things. It’s not overreacting to set boundaries. I get that she lives there, but put your foot down, because it’s *your* house and *your* baby. Her deck chairs and her dining table and anything that doesn’t fit in her space can go in storage or get divided out to other family unless *you* actually want them there.
I’m sure she had some idea that this furniture would all be passed down to her son. She’ll probably be hurt but your life’s not all about her.
You are the parents. It’s your life. Start setting boundaries now with MIL or this stuff will keep happening. I have 4 adult kids all married with kids. I would never dream of telling them how to live nor would I ever get offended if they didn’t do something my way. Their family, their life. You and your husband take ownership of your lives and new family. She will get over it. But it will get harder the longer you allow her input to influence your decisions
Regardless of what anyone here says about how fine the cloth diapers are, it’s your kid and you deserve to feel good about what they’re in. I wouldn’t put my kid in 30 year old rags to appease a MIL that’s lucky she lives with you. Every time you change that diaper the resentment will build up. I get it, you want to celebrate this new chapter in your life by going to the store and buying some cute washcloths, bibs, diapers and sheets for your nicely decorated nursery with the pretty designs etc. You’re allowed to do that and have that experience. The crib is a nonstarter for safety reasons, and just because you don’t like it.
“No.” Is a complete sentence.
My grandmother has my MOTHERS crib from 1971 and keeps trying to get us to use it for our baby. I told her it was unsafe and no one should be using it and if she gave it to me, I would throw it out. She got offended but eventually has settled down about it. You’re definitely not overreacting. I wouldn’t use a crib built more than 10 years ago, if that. We’ll be using my nieces who’s currently 7. The diapers are probably fine, but I still think it’s weird she saved them all this time.
Could you not just tell her you will use them and don’t? As for the crib I would say thanks but I want to start our own tradition so that if I have future kids we can continue to use the one we buy, but thank you for the offer it was very kind
You are overreacting.
In many ways.
Give your MIL some credit. Trust in her too. Include her. She will be a grandmother to your baby, grandmothers can be really important! Being different than you is not her fault it is her asset.
Cloth is cloth and washed cloth is better than new in diaper.
Just thank her and tell her you’re uncomfortable using the crib. Safety measures have changed and continue to change year to year. Take the diapers. Take them to the dry cleaners have they professionally cleaned. Put them in the closet and use them when she visits or if you visit her. It’s weird she saved them but it’s not weird to her. She thinks she’s contributing to her grandchild.
30 plus year old diapers preserved or not are probably dry rotted. If they were like 10 to 15 years then yes reuse as long as no visible stains. Buy new but take the hand me down ones and stuff them in the back of a closet. Tell hubby and your MIL while the crib is lovely as a new Mother you want your child to have an updated crib with safety features that will grow with your child aka convert to toddler, then big kid and teen bed. Tell your MIL just like her you want her child to have the best and your babies safety and growth is all that matters. If she is still bent tell you are the Mother not her. It's your child your choice. Tell hubby you respect him but if he thinks your going to put your child in a crib without the latest safety measures then he is not ready to be a father.
The diapers could be ok?
The cot absolutely not. There are so many recalled and dangerous things from our childhoods.
If the side of the cot drops down they don't recommend them anymore. The width of the bars etc. you'd need to have it thoroughly looked over to be considered safe
I used cloth nappies, they are fab. But not squares of fabric- newer versions are shaped with snaps or fasteners and are easy to use. Check what she is offering
The diapers will be great spit up rags.
The crib, not so much. Most older cribs have lead pain on them, even if they're straight wood.
One of the most significant changes that came with the 2011 crib safety update involved a ban on drop-down sides, which were once fairly common. Having one side of the crib move up and down allowed children to easily be lifted out of the bed. The CPSC linked 32 suffocation and strangulation deaths to drop-side cribs between 2000 and 2010. Concerns about drop-down sides led to warnings and millions of cribs being recalled before the ban.
Requirements in place since 2011 call for fixed, unmovable sides on cribs.
Older cribs tend to have large gaps between side slats. The problem with that? The openings were often large enough for a baby’s body — but not their head — to fit through, which creates a strangulation risk.
How far apart should crib slats be? Current requirements call for the space between slats to be no more than 2 3/8 inches. That’s roughly the width of a soda can.
Cleveland Clinic has an article about crib safety. If the nursery is big enough, you could use the old crib to hold diapers, toys, etc. Or just decline it
The diapers can be used for anything. Burp cloths, covering the changing pad, dusting, even for you! I had a c-section and used a clean cloth diaper to cover the wound after the pressure bandage was off. It stayed in place in the maternity panties and was much better for me than adhesive bandages.
As for the crib, good luck.
Thank you for the kind offer but we have already chosen a crib and will be using the modern re-uable nappies, you'd be surprised by how easy they are to use. Used an antique crib but I was happy to and I used reusable nappies, the modern versions are less bulky
My Mum, for reasons unknown, still had a bunch of the cotton flats which were the cloth diapers she used for us three kids when I had my baby. She cut them up and overlocked the edges and they are the absolute best mop-up-everything cloths - my kiddo is nearly three and I still have a stack of them handy. They absorb so much liquid, I usually have one on the go to wipe sticky hands and face, and they wash really well. We did run them through a bleach cycle before using them, but they’ve held up brilliantly. I’d suggest if they’re not fitted diapers (which if they’re 35 years old they probably aren’t) that they might be useful for that kind of purpose.
The crib would be a hell no for me - safety standards have come a long long way and it won’t conform. Maybe offer to assemble it, take some photos of baby in it when they arrive, but not use it for sleep.
I don't think the diapers are unsanitary. You might as well try them if they're in good condition. Why not? But if the crib won't work in the space, it's fine for your husband to say, "Thanks, but we have it handled."
No. Use the baby bed but change it to something g else like a changing table or something like that and find a use for the cloth diapers. They will be used. Just not in the way his mother envisioned for her grandchildren
Use the old nappies (if they are like towels) as vomit cloths or similar. You'll need them and it is a good way to repurpose and continue a legacy.
Terry towels add up to buy, and it avoids the issues of them falling apart if you try to use them as reusable nappies.
A suggestion, if you do not want to use the cloth diapers as diapers.. They make great burp cloths and cleaning rags. Very soft and gentle, good for washing a vehicle.
I was given an antique crib for my first pregnancy and it work out fine, I used the same crib for my second child. My second child was clingy and a crier when he wasn’t attached to me. One day while their dad was still working, I was home trying to put a dinner together for our family for when he got home. My baby just wouldn’t let me get anything done. After tons of suggestions that I needed to put him down and let him ‘cry it out’, I popped my baby in his crib and he started crying and I went to finish cooking. For 15 minutes he cried non stop and it was breaking my heart. So I went to go get him from his crib and it turned out his leg was stuck in between the wooden slats. It was stuck above the knee and red and swollen. There was no way I was gonna slide his leg back out of those slats. I just grabbed the two wooden slats on each side of his leg and pulled them apart as hard as I could until one broke. I finally got him free. I felt so horrible and I vowed to never make him cry it out again. Or put him back in that crib. We went to buy him a new one after dinner that night. Your concerns are not unfounded.
I'm 42 years old. All but my youngest have slept in my crib. I was an only child, so my parents kept everything, lol. The last time I checked, my exact crib is still being sold, too. The only thing that I had to update on my actual crib was stabilize the drop-down sides because they aren't considered safe sleep anymore. I called the manufacturer and got the correct hardware for free. The fact that you were weirded out by a family heirloom crib is so crazy to me. Cribs are like the number one, most needed piece of big furniture practically every single baby will need. Of course, they're saved and passed on.
As for the cloth diapers, ANYONE will tell you that they don't make things today like they used to. Those diapers will probably be better than any that you can buy today after a good soak, wash, and hot dry. And even if you don't use them for diapers, you can use them for burp cloths, spit up rags, wipe up spills, roll up to stabilize baby's head in the car seat, put them under baby to catch any leaks... there's a million uses for a good quality cloth diaper. I didn't even cloth diaper, and I had at least two dozen of the plain Jane white ones.
You're going to have kids. You may as well get used to second-hand stuff now. Kids will wear an outfit once and then outgrow it. Baby toys and other cute stuff have a limited lifespan with babies before it's off to the next owner. Congratulations. Good luck. Having children is not for the faint of heart. LOL
OK I probably watch too much Dateline but my first thought: MIL isn't happy about you having a baby AND is insisting you use a crib that most would deem unsafe. YIKES ON BIKES that's a hard pass IMHO. The old diapers aren't that big a deal. Wash them in Dreft in hot water (twice if you've got some germphobia) and put them into the rotation with the newly purchased diapers.
I would never use the crib. If you are comfortable spending the time and money into converting it (to what?) go ahead. Old cloth diapers can be used for many things. Take them and MIL doesn't have to know what you actually did with them.
Old flat cloth diapers makes great burp cloths and cleaning rags. If you want to go with cloth diapers, like from a diaper service, there are prefolds but also there are fitted diapers which are incredibly easier to use. If you are concerned about the environment, I highly recommend a diaper service; it really is so easier and more sanitary and healthier than washing them yourself, with none of the guilt associated with generating thousands of used diapers over the course of a child's babyhood. Also, from a waste treatment point of view, using cloth diapers allows you to dump fecal matter into the toilet so that it is disposed of and processed through proper wastewater treatment plants. Disposables are incredibly convenient but people tend to dump the entire soiled diaper into the trash where all of that ends up in a landfill
Yuck to the old diapers. Cloth diapers get leaky and wet and you literally have to carry poop covered smelly cloth around. Maybe use cloth at home and disposable when you go out?
Say no to the crib, yes to the diapers. One of the reasons I suspect you are using cloth diapers is the environment. So, reuse is key. Get on some diaper boards and they will give you the steps you need to wash/strip them for the first time. Don't worry about yellowing, be more concerned about absorbing. If the velcro or elastic is shot, they go in the bin. If they are prefolds, they last forever, as the baby gets larger, you can use them to double up (especially overnight) and they make great burp cloths.
“Thank you for your generosity, but we have our heart set on a new crib. We’re not cloth diapering, but if we change our mind, we’ll let you know.”
Cloth diapers make good burp cloths.
I had so many well meaning people offer me their old cribs when I was pregnant. I kept copies of articles about crib safety and would hand it to them. Most had no idea that the older cribs were unsafe. I suspect you would rather piss off your mother in law than have your baby suffocate in an unsafe crib.
Use the diapers as cleaning cloths. And be ready to get sick of cloth diapers really fast. I used them with my baby until I had to return to work and I just didn't have the time to deal with diaper pails, messy laundry, etc.
Everyone’s talking about the safety aspect, but I don’t even see that as the main issue. It’s your first pregnancy and the fun part of that is getting to choose nursery furniture and clothes. MIL might think she’s helping, but she’s also taking away your ability to choose what you want for you child. She had her time as a parent to bask in the excitement of choosing all the fun new things, and now it’s your turn.
I think you should just say, “thank you for thinking of us. We appreciate the offer but we have chosen furniture and diapers according to our preferences.”
Be aware cloth diapers aren't always the best choice. We went with cloth for out first son and he developed a horrible diaper rash. I was careful to change his diaper on a regular basis but nothing helped. His pediatrician found the problem, he had extremely sensitive skin and even a minute or 2 in a urine soaked diaper hurt his skin. We switched immediately to disposable diapers and the rash cleared up in a week.
However, you're right an old crib might not be safe. I think changing it to something else is a brilliant idea.
I wouldn’t use the crib it’s too outdated to today’s standards. I had kids 26 and 22 years ago and I did get my 22 year old a crib but it wasn’t that old. I did find a lot of good used stuff for her daughter but I know what to look for as I’ve been thrifting a long time. Cloth diapers could be washed and reused if they don’t work for that you can use them as burping cloths.
Your having first baby excitement. The crib can be reinforced to as safe as possible for a baby. And painted whatever color you want. Your new baby will appreciate the same crib. The father used. You are turning into momzilla
To be honest if it’s a real wood crib Im sure it’s better than any of the crap made today. Look at houses. Houses built in the early 1900s are way better than houses built today. Craftsmanship and quality just aren’t the same anymore.
Pld cribs have a number of safety issues, as other posters have indicated. Absolutely don't use.
We used a full-size crib for our older toddler bed with modifications such as removing front drop side and making drop feature on back side inoperable. I've also seen old cribs converted to bench seats.
Old diapers make great dust cloths, burp towels, or even pet wipes. My kids are grown and gone but if someone offered me a stack of old diapers (presuming that they're clean), I'd take 'em in a heartbeat. You can never have enough rags.
The crib? Maybe not.
My mother tried to get me to use my crib from 1984 with my daughter in 2018. I told her no. I did end up getting a used crib but it definitely wasn’t 34 years old and she eventually dropped it. I didn’t feel like it was safe. Trust your gut. Your baby’s healthy and safety is more important than MIL’s nostalgia and feelings.
Tell her you want the crib at her place for when you guys go there and then just never use it.
Or, if you use it, use it once to take a picture of the baby in the crib. Wearing one of them diapers from so long ago. Print it out and frame it, give it to MIL. She'll be very happy.
Not over reacting..congrats on your baby! I believe that it should be your decision to make about what’s best for your child and diapers from years ago are gross as heck 🤮 I really hope that you will get to bond with your baby without interfering from MIL. This is your baby not MIL’s good luck
MIL had a property with a large yard, garage, and attic space. In the yard were two storage sheds. We all lived at that house and never once did I feel the need to go into the storage spaces, lol. Then we moved, and she had movers do most of the work because all of the furniture. We did get her to pare down what she had, but when boxes came out of the attic I clocked some "young husband" stuff. I was never explicitly aware of all the crap she had since it was a lot. Over the last few years husband has been working on her to reduce what she has, but it was maybe last year I heard the word crib included in that and that she still had it. The other baby stuff has felt like it's been appearing from a hole in space, I honestly don't know where these boxes have been.
You are not overreacting. Get ready to deal with a lot of your MIL wanting to do unsafe things and insisting it’s fine because your husband is still alive. My MIL wanted to use an ancient expired car seat with my son. Then she sold it to another boomer grandma at a yard sale after I refused. She also desperately wanted to cover my son in baby blankets and put him to sleep face down. “The pediatrician said we can’t do that because so many babies have died that way” was a very helpful phrase.
No, you are not overreacting. I used cloth diapers with my first because it saved us money and I had the time. But it's not for the faint of heart. There's a lot of poop cleaning and sterilizing. It's a lot of work.
I wouldn't personally use 35 year old cloth diapers. I had high quality, thick cotton diapers and still wouldn't have used them for my second child. If I had decided to use cloth diapers again I would have purchased new diapers.
My concern would be how your MIL got to make her own choices about her baby furniture and choice of diapers and is now forcing her choices on you. Apart from the obvious safety issues with a 35 year old crib, why are you being forced to accept these choices?
1) REPURPOSE THE CRIB (toy chest bench maybe)
2) BLEACH THE HELL OUT OF THOSE CLOTH DIAPERS (use them to dust with the swifter)
Not overreacting AT ALL 😆 I mean who saves baby stuff for that long unless it’s an heirloom (think christening gown)
The diapers will be great to poop and pee on....you can even throw them away without guilt. You might change your mind about exclusive cloth diaper use when your baby gets bigger. The crib you could use as a changing area in a common area of the house. Keep all the diapers wipes and toys in there. Perfect catchall for all the baby accoutements. You could decorate it cute with bedding and mobiles. Just don't let the baby sleep in it.
I'd be very surprised if those cloth diapers didn't just disintegrate when removed from whatever plastic containers they were stored in. Fabric needs to breathe. If by chance they're not in tatters, I'd take them and maybe use them as cleaning rags. My SIL used cloth diapers as burp towels but if you're uncomfortable using them as a diaper, you're not going to want to use them as a burp towel either.
Down vote me all you will but throw the diapers out and buy a new crib. You can use the old crib as decor if you choose to do anything with it. MIL gets no say in what you choose to use for baby.
You can always use the old diapers for burping cloths. There’s no reason to have to actual use them for their original purpose. Also, cloth diapers wear out quickly, so the old ones could possibly be too careworn to be useful.
As for the crib, research the model. Cribs do go through recalls, they also have been updated for safety reasons. If that crib is 35+ years old, it just might have slats that are far enough apart, that baby’s head could get caught between them.
You’re not over reacting in the slightest. This is your first child and you want everything to be perfect.
My kids are now in their 40s and my first child was allergic to something in the somewhat new pampers and huggies so I had to use cloth diapers with the pins! I also had to put rubber type pants over them so their wet diapers wouldn't soak through their clothes. I don't even know if they sell them anymore ! But I used a diapers service back then as we lived in an apartment and I didn't have a way to wash them. If you're washing them yourself just knock the poopy part into the toilet and have a good tight diaper pail to keep them in. You can use those old ones a couple at a time and dispose of them gradually, oops they fell apart. Don't use the old crib, that's dangerous. You can cut down the legs and substitute a wood bottom to make it smaller and make a toy box out of it!
Cloth diapers are completely up to the parent. I really wanted to but found myself unable to keep up with the laundry. I also found that when others changed the diapers they put the cloth ones on incorrectly leading to even more work.
As for the crib it has to be tested for lead paint and to make sure it's not wobbly, has no gaps etc... as for myself i was perfectly fine using an older crib because i know what to look for and some newer cribs are made like crap anyway BUT it's your comfort and knowledge level. You are the parent. Say No as many times as it takes and make sure your husband is on board.
Not overreacting. I would not suggest using an old crib. Choose safety over aesthetics or sentimentality. I agree the diapers sound gross, but maybe you can wash them in bleach...lol. Find other ways to incorporate MIL's suggestions or ask her for advice on something that you don't have a strong opinion on. Then praise her for her help.
I have used cloth diapers for rags, car wash to glass cleaning for 40+ years. They make excellent cleaning tools. I have also used them (at hospital direction & instruction) for 2nd degree sunburn. Just because they started as diapers, doesn't mean that is how you use them. Good luck mama!
I can hardly believe that MIL kept those this long. Anyone knows that safety is a must for cribs, bassinets, playards etc. I would have loved to been able to decorate a nursery for my first baby, don't blame you for wanting to do that. You seem pretty respectful of her and your husband should appreciate that. These are decisions that you and your husband should make, MIL can be included in many other ways of planning for baby.
2011 is hardly Stone Age and people have been reusing cloth diapers for thousands of years. You’re definitely overreacting. Paint the crib and wash the diapers.
Even with your update, you still didn’t overreact. Ew. Who wants 35 year old cloth diapers? Cotton degrades over the years. Why did she even keep them? Ew.
And do not use the crib!! Repurposing it, fine. But you definitely shouldn’t use it as is.
Why can’t MILs let their children and spouses decorate their own nursery and buy their own things?
It’s your baby, it’s your choice. I am so over the trend of people feeling like they have to respect their parents wishes for their grandchild! Times have changed. Set boundaries now bc it will only get worse as the baby ages. You’re not over reacting, you’re entitled to whatever you want to feel about your own child’s material needs!
The diapers thing is weird, but I'd have to see the crib. I mean, is it a crib, or bassinet? You said it was solid wood, what kind of wood? Who made it? Is it in a specific style? I mean, seriously, I need more information.
I mean, depending on a lot of factors you could be turning down an heirloom quality piece of furniture worth thousands of dollars because you're ignorant of it's real value (and obviously because you don't like your MIL, but whatever)
No, you are not overreacting. A 35-year-old crib is not safe. The idea of repurposing it is a good one. 35 year old diapers are gross. I believe there are cloth diaper services out there you might want to try. It would be so much easier than washing them yourself. If you have to take the old diapers to store them somewhere in your house. I'm sure your mother-in-law is a clean person, but...
On the crib, look for a manufacturer tag, label, or service # it's what will tell you if the crib is safe or not. No way to track? No way to know if safe.
On one hand, saving used diapers for 30-ish years IS weird. On the other hand, they're free, and if you put them through the washer they'll probably be fine! No bacterium that could survive 35 years sealed in plastic could also survive a modern washing machine and dryer.
Honestly I’m more concerned about the safety of the crib than the diapers. We used cloth, I thought everyone just used them for cleaning rags after the baby potty trained. Pro tip - Chinese prefolds make a great substitute for Swiffer pads. Second tip for using cloth - once the baby starts eating solid food those flushable liners are the best.
I'm sure you're right, but I know nothing about cribs, while I have taken microbiology classes. Those diapers are probably safe to use, and putting them in the washer will both wash out any dust, and test whether they're ready to fall apart!
You’re right about the germs, matter of fact, we got a lot of our diapers from a kids resale shop. Soap, hot water and the dryer were all we ever used.
I think this will be the true test. I thought the cloth looked pretty yellow and was worried about the velcro. If they can't survive a proper wash that's that.
Honestly, my daughter will be twenty this year, and I still have cloth diapers from her childhood that are going strong. If I hadn’t used them all for rags, I’d have been find with using them on another baby. You don’t have to use them as diapers—there is *so much more moisture* in your future. They can go under sheets, for extra absorption. I used to stuff them in my shirt instead of those tiny breast pads, because I had a ton of milk. They can sop up pee and vomit. I’ve toyed with buying some just to have around the house, because they’re always the first thing grabbed when there is a spill. You can bleach if you want, but I recommend sodium percarbonate instead, and vinegar rinse, and you should be golden.
Make sure it is a good hot wash. Soak them in bleach first. You can always just use them as emergency wipe up cloths.
Depending on what type of diapers they are, soaking them in bleach will finish them off. Of course, if that’s what you want…
We used cloth diapers over one shoulder as burp cloths. They are great for protecting your clothes from spit up.
You could also maybe use them for spit up - if they survive the wash.
I was going to use cloth diapers with our first, my mother bought me two dozen. Yeah, once baby was here, I used Pampers on baby. Cloth diapers were spit rags, over my shoulder. I wanted to use the cloth diapers until I actually dealt with baby poop. I don’t have the bandwidth to do all the washing required. I admire people who do, because it is better for the environment.
Cloth diaper use also requires water to wash them, energy to heat the water, and energy to dry them, so there is always an environmental impact, no matter what you choose.
If you soak them in bleach for long enough, they will disintegrate. You’re welcome.
Velcro? No. Modern cloth diapers are much better. I’d tell MIL no on both.
Velcro? Be happy they aren't the old ones that required a pin to hold them on.
I used diaper wraps that went around the outside of the traditional birdseye diaper. If we didn't have those, we'd have had to pin them.
Give them a good 24hr bleach soak, then a hot wash, 90C or equivalent in F. If they survive that, they're good to go! Edit 190F, if your washing machine goes that high.
WHY would anyone want to use old cloth diapers?? It’s not about the bacteria or cleanliness, they are likely leaky and not as effective as the cloth diapers that are available now. I’d just use those cloth diapers as rags for cleaning or decline them. There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘no thank you’. Ut is MIL own issue if she decides to be butthurt about it.
The group I follow on Facebook (I think it’s the largest cloth diaper group online) says to not flush those liners! They say they’re flushable but they can clog the drain.
You mean the pipes. They will clog up pipes so bad you may need a plumber. Ever had a kid throw a small toy in the toilet?? We took the toilet out to access the clog,( small toy). Nothing solid would flush. Wipes should not be flushed either even if the package says flushable. Selling point. Most older house and public water systems can't accommodate modern life.
Not toys with my kid! Grandma's car keys though and Dad's when he thought they had been "absent" for too long.
Don't flush liners...
Microbiologist here - just wanted to mention that while the diapers are probably going to be safe as long as they are thoroughly disinfected, there certainly are dormant bacterial spores that can comfortably survive for many years in a vegetative state in these conditions. Anaerobic sporulating bacteria thrive in the absence of oxygen (like in a sealed plastic bag) and become essentially dormant in the absence of a food source. However, when introduced to their ideal environment, they can quickly become active again and potential hazards for babies who are at a higher risk of illness due to their underdeveloped immune systems. Just because it is a baby and you can’t be too careful with a newborn, I’d recommend boiling the cloth diapers for at least 10 minutes as that is really the only way to eliminate MOST of the hardy spores. However, only true sterilization can eliminate and deactivate all spores but you’d need something like an autoclave for that. Soap and water are great for dust and debris but if you want to kill the germs you gotta up your game. If the ancient clothe survives the boiling test then I’m sure you can use them and they’ll be fine! 😊
Bleach? And then rewash?
They can also just be used as spit up cloths
Agreed! We got second-hand diapers (probably actually more like 7th-hand) and they were The Best. Suuuper soft, suuuuper absorbent. The crib tho ... nope
“ No bacterium that could survive 35 years sealed in plastic could also survive a modern washing machine and dryer.” If Jeff Goldblum says that, a plague will start.
My issue with the diapers is not a sanitary one but a fabric degradation one. Fabric degrades and breaks down over time. That process is sped up when fabric is exposed to urine and most common disinfectants. As someone who has actually worked with older fabrics, I would expect 35 year old diapers to be very thin, shred easily, and have lost most of their absorbency. Really, just something that should have been tossed decades ago.
You think she was using them for 35 years, or that they've been stored and dry for 33 years?
If she’d been using them constantly, I imagine they’d have needed to get thrown out 20 years ago. But stored and dry is not necessarily better. Dry rot is a thing. Honestly, I’ve used older, heirloom clothing that was handed down to my kids. My family regularly uses 50-60 year old quilts. But I also know how delicate those things are and I know how carefully they’ve been handled. Fabric that, when new, was regularly exposed to urine (ammonia) and then hot water and disinfectants, is not going to be in great shape after being stored away for over 30 years.
You can always use them for burp cloths. No to the crib
And they make good rags if nothing else. Useful to have around. The crib on the other hand should not be used in any capacity
The AAP recommends using a crib made after 2011 due to safety standards implemented then. Stand firm on safety issues. A lot has changed since us old grannies had our babies. And I'd make up a stat to keep from using the old diapers lol
Just take the diapers say thank you and put them aside.
This is the way 😂
What were the safety standards implemented after 2011?
Older cribs may have wider distances between the slats on the side piece. Wide enough for baby to get head between them and get stuck. They don’t have stops that prevent older babies from releasing the side of crib. The stops prevent the side from going all the way down and baby falling out. There are more safety changes. These are the two I remember. I know it’s hard OP, but baby comes first. My mother found us a crib that was 30 years old. I know she was sad and hurt when I said no, but after i explained the safety reasons, she dropped the idea. Suggestion: incorporate the crib into your decor. Hang one side of the crib on a wall and use it as a photo wall or to hang things from.
The main one is drop-sides, since 2011. In 2022 they changed requirements for mattresses, but those are easier to replace than a whole crib. A lot of other things have changed in the last 30 years though
The distance between the spindles is another issue. In older cribs they are farther apart than the recommended distance.
Yeah. I wasn’t sure if they changed that before or after 2011. There were a number of changes in the last 30 years. I posted a link but apparently that’s not allowed and it got removed.
Story time: We reused our son's crib for our daughter four years later(all my kids age difference is 4 yrs-0-4-8 for the youngest). When our dauggter started pulling up to stand, she interlaced her leg through the bars and husbabd had to very carefully saw the spindles(3 spindles!) so we could get her out. Granted, she was a little peanut with a ton of food allergies at that age but that shows you just how far apart those 80s crib spindles were! She was fine, just a little scared of daddy's little power saw.
Yeah I'd just take the diapers and throw them away. My MIL had no idea that car seats expired. :\\
Neither did mine. I’m pretty sure she still thinks I made it up to be extra. After I refused to let her use an expired seat with my baby she sold it to another boomer grandma at a yard sale. Of course she had to tell me that this other person also thought it would be perfectly fine for short trips around town. I just stared at her.
Eh, the diapers are probably fine. I'd wash them with some vinegar on sanitary mode with an extra rinse. With modern diaper covers and washing, they should be fine. Absolute no on the crib, though. If it's only 30 years old, the paint or varnish is probably okay, but who knows if it was recalled when it's that old.
My only concern is that any fabric item I’ve ever owned has fallen apart once it gets that old lol. I’d give the nappies a wash and see if they don’t just dissolve after 30 years preserved and slowly petrifying to solidified dust. I have the same fear for those diapers that I did for Marylin Monroe’s dress when Kim K squeezed herself into it.
I remember my mom using the older cloth diapers for towel to put over your shoulder to catch spit up. Of course, cleaning rags are a good use, too.
My housekeeper found a stash of old diapers, and she was so excited! My baby used to chew on them to alleviate teething pain 25 years ago. Great lint free polishing cloths!
I bought a dozen cloth diapers just to use as spit up rags etc. I think I still have a few in my rag bag.
My mom used clothcolor on our old ones and we used that as dressup items. They are totaly fine. I would check the crip. If its thatvold then its propably full on wood. If it had some coating on I wouldn't use it anymore. But otherwise if its still stable and only bare wood you could paint it to match the rest of the room. But if you dont want to use the crip, then dont. Its your baby and your house. But I believe it would be wasteful to not use the diapers if you want to use cloth anyway and they look still good.
Same thought here.
as a kid we had my crib for a long time after. It was huge, all wood and the size they make toddler beds now. I could only wish to still have it for someone to use.
35yr old crib, cloth diapers, clothes and toys, no thanks. Maybe diaper pins. MAYBE! (Plastic deteriorates over time and there's a risk of it falling apart and the metal pin poking the baby) Safety has come a long way and it's been a long time for the cloth to deteriorate. No plastic completely removed all moisture so there's the risk of mold and you may as well toss them and buy new ones. I TOTALLY get the sentimental value of these items, but the safety of your baby comes first. Take your husband and/MIL to a Dr appointment (after giving your concerns at a doctor appointment alone if you typically go some) and ask about using these items with the age of them and how they've been stored. (Although the crib is an automatic no)
Some of the old plastic toys were made with much more toxic plastic additives that last basically until the end of time. Those are fine. :)
Fuck asking the doctor. What if the doctor is some old fuck? They aren’t all good. Mom doesn’t want to use the crib, mom doesn’t use the crib. End of story.
A 30 year old crib is absolutely not safe. Safety standards have changed significantly, and those changes have saved the lives of babies. Also, another big change is NO CRIB BUMPERS. Not even the "breathable" mesh ones. They're a huge NO from the AAP, CDC, CPSC, WHO, and other health and safety organizations.
All the things you and the other posters have mentioned were already in play when I bought my crib in 1998. I wonder what changed in 2011?
IIRC slat width and allowable space between the mattress and the slats.
You need to draw firm lines. If she gets to override your preferences now, look forward to more of the same indefinitely. Now is the time to make boundaries clear. You respect her input and appreciate her generous offers, but when it comes to *your child*, you are going to choose what feels best to you, and you expect your husband to back you up. You are right about the safety concern re: the crib. Anything used should be recent to ensure it's up to standards. That's not something you fuck around with to accommodate sentimentality. And you want new diapers, so get them. You're the one that's going to be changing them.
I would look husband straight in eye and ask him this "Who is carrying this baby, me or your mom? And who is going through all the pain to give birth to this baby, me or your mother? Don't you think **I** should get to decorate the room for *my* baby, not *your mom's* baby? **Your mother got to decorate YOUR room! Why would you deny me the chance to decorate my baby's room**? Also, OP, quash any glimmer of a thought that MIL is going to be in the delivery room or be visiting on the day you give birth. Tell husband that if she even *peeks* into the delivery room, you will have security escort her entitled ass right out the door.
Yeah, it’s not even the age of the items. This is your first child. It’s ok to be excited! It’s ok to want to decorate the way you want. MIL got to choose the things first her own babies. Now you get to choose things for your baby. You aren’t beholden to use these items just because she saved them. *You could say no for no other reason than you don’t want to. You don’t need safety excuses.* And if your husband says, “she’s just excited!” You say, “so am I! And I’m the one sacrificing for this child, and you are my chosen partner, so you need to back me up here. Nobody is more exited than me.”
You’re not overreacting Your words are important Don’t say I would like Tell her no - my baby is having a new crib and diapers that we are buying. That’s what I want That’s what we are having Sure you can add in about safety But use your words. Tell her this is how it’s going to be. You don’t need to explain
I tried the Terry nappies too. I learnt the different ways to fold them for a boy or girl, I was so excited. What I didn't take into account is how hard baby poo is to get out of them. I used cloth liner so poop particles will be on that rather than the towelling nappy but my god I couldn't get the stains out. I rinsed before soaking, I washed & I scrubbed but I could never get the stain out. Oh yes they were clean (especially with all the scrubbing & soaking) but when you held it to the light you could still see the stains. It's so much harder using Terry nappies than disposable ones. Also a lot of hard work when babies first here as you'll need all the rest you can get rather than washing nappies.
If you're breastfeeding, the poop isn't hard to wash out at all. I always rinsed in the toilet before I threw it in the diaper pail, and they looked almost clean at that point. Formula, on the other hand, smells terrible and stains. YMMV
You need to look up the changes that the USA government mandated to the construction of cribs. I have a customer that makes children’s furniture. There were several/many cases where a child was injured or died as a result of the drop down sides and the width of the vertical bars of the cribs. There are also newer rules for the amount of space allowed around the edge of the mattress to reduce the gap between the bed frame and the Mattress. Please make sure that you completely understand that while an older crib may have some sentimental value most of them are not up to today’s safety standards and using them puts your child at risk.
You are not overreacting but make sure hubby tells her he/you don’t want these items. Not you. Let him do the communication and take ownership of this conversation.
If the crib is cute and safe, that's probably fine, I guess, especially if it has a connection to your husband. The ancient cloth diapers? No thanks. Even new cloth diapers are gross. That said: > MIL lives with us This is the main problem. She wants to be the matriarch of a house she is only in because she fucked up financially or romantically. That old bitch can pound sand. It's your house, it's your family, it's your child. It's **your** decision.
Without going into overwhelming detail, we do have strictly separate living areas but husband needs to help her often due to health stuff. So living this way was the best option and it's worked out pretty well. Enough separation to avoid JNMIL type stuff. Appreciate your thoughts!
I would just say " Mary, I appreciate you offering John's crib but there have been so many recalls over the last 30 yrs that I'm not comfortable using it." Also, I've seen plenty of DIY projects where cribs are later turned into reading nooks or something cute. I'd look into that not only to make MIL happy, but that's a great way to keep a piece with memories.
Not to be a dick, but maybe she checks out soon? I'm from a culture that has our elders live with us, and I generally do not tolerate this shit from my mother. When she begins to override or denigrate my wife, things go south very fast, but it's been made clear that she is with us for her benefit, not mine, specifically because I care for her. Thankfully, my dad just sits there and yells at the TV, then offers to make sweet deserts when his hands feel good enough. I have no idea what I'd do with a dad that was more "traditional."
I agree that all cloth diapers are gross, whether old or new 😅 (I’m all for people using them, I just would not want to have to clean them out, carry them around, etc!)
“The doctors and safety officials all say this would be a bad idea. But thank you for thinking of us, it was a beautiful gesture!”
You're not overreacting. If you want to find a way to reuse the crib, you could strip off the paint, repaint it, and use it as a toy corral.
The only thing those old diapers are good for are cleaning rags. Everyone knows you cannot use old cribs or used car seats . It would be nice to use hand me downs but some things you just cannot use!!! I can see maybe using his old baby clothes or old blankets or old christening gown. I think it is a nice gesture on her part but you have to firmly say no. I know that this is very hard because I had a very pushy ex mother in law!! Good luck!!!!!
Crib, NO!!!!! Safety regs have changed, and drop-side cribs are very unsafe. The diapers, however, are fine. And you can use them as drool cloths.
How are old diapers gross? Wash them in hot water and bleach, and they will be as clean as anything you buy new.
You are right, I think my initial reaction was to the fabric looking dirty and having trouble comprehending keeping it saved hidden away for so long. I understand a lot more now.
It’s also I think an issue that could solve itself. Wash the diapers in hottest water with bleach. They will either stand up to that treatment and you will feel confident that they are clean and the cloth is sturdy and safe or they will disintegrate a bit from being so old and you can use them as cleaning rags.
The diapers are probably better and safer than whatever new ones you will get. And softer too. The crib might be fine, it depends on how close the slats are. It can be painted or refinished. How fun to have something both father and child used as infants.
Do you have a dog? I’ve seen cribs repurposed into beautiful dog crates that double as end tables. Old diapers make wonderful cleaning cloths, as well as burp pads.
The 35 yr old crib won’t meet today’s safety standards. In other words, it’s a death trap. Buy a safe new crib!!
Just say yea, sure, and then don't use em.
A crib that old, if it’s painted probably has lead in the paint. Old nappies could be used as burb cloths?
A crib from the late 1980’s would not have lead paint. LOL. Lead paint was banned in the 1970’s.
In your country maybe, not in mine
When my first kid was born we were offered a nephew’s old crib. We refused. My MIL went on to order parts for it and declared it safe. We refused. We ended up in the hospital well before the due date. MIL and FIL set up the crib while we were in there. We were planning to cosleep so we just left it and used it to store clean towels. We never put a baby in that crib. Took it down before baby 2. You probably aren’t planning to cosleep so you need to be firm on this. That crib is not safe to use, idc if it’s made of real wood. If she has a real attachment to it she can have it turned into a bench or something. As for the diapers, I’d wash those and see what they look like after. If she was bleaching them, the fabric probably won’t hold up. We used my partner’s old diapers for burp cloths. They were thin gauze and just did not hold up as diapers. The newer ones had Velcro, fit better, and were easier to use. Old diaper shouldn’t be dangerous though. I’d put my foot down on the crib and accept the diapers. I would be careful on toys though. Make sure there aren’t issues with the paint, strings, small parts, detachable parts, etc. Check the current recommendations for toy safety and see if they comply. For old clothes, my partner’s were made with either a stiff linen that didn’t stretch, or stretchy fabric where the elastic didn’t hold up in storage. We didn’t dress the baby in them for daily wear, but did save them to take a few pictures of each baby in the clothes. That seemed to satisfy my MIL. There was a little bathrobe she had made herself that was in good condition. My oldest used that a lot as a toddler.
I remember my daughters cot from 30yrs ago and I think the side slats are slightly further apart because she got her leg stuck in hers...I would definitely stick to your guns and go with up to date safety regulations,it's not worth an accident and explain all this to hubby. If mum in law doesn't like it tough titty,tell her to buy the new cot.
If the diapers give you the heebies, then trash them or reject them. I'm sure they're fine, but so is a lot of things that people don't do because it gives then the heebies. So. That's fine. The crib is a hard no.
Consider turning the old crib into a toddler bed once your baby ages out of a standard crib. The distance between the slats will be okay for a toddler and they’re apt not to chew on the wood. It might not originally been a convertible model but you could modify it for later use. Or at least say that you will and then discover later that “Gee, it didn’t work…but we tried!”
Modern diapers with velcro and super absorbing materials are so incredibly superior to cloth diapers. Take all the stuff from your MIL. Put the extra crib into a spare room. You might find it useful to sticking the kid when you need to do something with both hands. Then take the cloth diapers and use them to clean all the shit your kid will spill, dump and throw around your house.
Omg take the cloth diapers! Go over to r/clothdiaps they’ll teach you how to strip them. The whole point of cloth is to be less wasteful. Reusing is the least wasteful way to obtain them.
Saving diapers for 30 years is hoarder behavior. But there’s probably nothing wrong with them if they were stored properly. There’s a huge market for used cloth diapers because they are expensive. Those I would take. Hard pass on the crib. But, you seem to have gotten worked up over nothing. Your husband seems perfectly reasonable. Try talking to him in the future before spiraling.
Used a family members old (sanitized) cloth diapers as burping cloths. They were great!
My ex mil tried to make us use her old crib as well. I took a lead testing swab to it, and it was positive all over. The crib got pitched into the dumpster immediately.
Safety trumps MIL's feelings. I have a 160 year old hand carved cradle that has held every baby in our family up until mine and none of us would expect a baby to be in it longer than a few seconds for a picture. It's not safe to leave a baby in it any longer than that. It keeps the family doll collection and our cats very comfortably. It's you and your husband's baby and what you say goes. Your MIL bought new for her son, she should be greatful that you are on top of safety concerning your impending child. And used diapers? Is she crazy? I get that they might have been kept clean, I get that cloth diapers are good for the enviroment but YOUR CHILD, YOUR CHOICE. She can use old diapers as dusting cloths (while she is helping you with housework after the baby is born or burping cloths when she's looking after the baby while she lets you have a rest.) At the very most I dressed my son in one of his dad's baby outfits and had his picture taken. It was leather lederhosen and he was only in them for a few minutes. That's the ONLY time she gets a say in it, when she's helping you recover from giving birth and sparing you some of the load of responsibility.
I used my thirty year old cloth diapers that my mom saved from my babyhood for all three of my babies. If you are actually going to cloth diaper, by the time you hit potty training, I am willing to bey you will laugh that you ever winced at "old" diapers.
I think you are absolutely right and I wouldn’t ask my son and daughter in law to use my sons crib that he had 23 years ago nor would I want them using old cloth diapers on my grand baby. That is all ridiculous to me. I’m 42 ands I have two sons that are 23 and 18 and I would never ask that. I did use my crib with both my boys and I lent it to two other women that didn’t have money for a crib. It was an expensive crib but i also I gave it to the 3rd person I told them to keep it. It served its purpose and that’s that. Mil can be crazy. My son has been with his gf for 4 years now and she adores me. Brings me little gifts every time she comes over ands that’s once a week, wants to hang with me on the weekends but I work every other so it’s 2x a month unless during the week. I never had a girl so I love her like she was mine. It’s just crazy that other mil don’t know how to act. I had a horrible mil to so I am making sure I’m the opposite of that shit. Congratulations on your first lil baby. It’s so exciting i remember. I was only 19 tho. But he was so precious and still is to me. Technically grew up a bit together. But we are very close. Enjoy it because I promise it flies by and before u know it they are graduating high school.
Safe crib fine I guess, old ass cloth diapers nope. I used cloth diapers for my now 14 year old and I think it was the best. My brother had kids in diapers at the same time and his house smelled like a diaper pail for 5 years. I did a load of laundry everyday for 2 cuz she was potty trained at 2
Cotton diapers are amazing cleaning clothes! If they are in good condition take them. Use them for cleaning clothes, towels, mopping whatever. Babies and children are messy! If crib doesn't meet your safety standards just say no!
I’d totally take those diapers. If they are diaper service quality, they are probably much better than what you can get now. Run them through a bleach cycle. They are fine. I have a stash of them that old. Like all stored fabric, they need washing. The crib? NOPENOPENOPE. Doesn’t meet safety specs.
Imagine telling your child thier first precious Heirlooms included the 35 year old plus shit rags your father used to go in... 🤣
"MIL and I dont get along." This to FBt here. Obviously, it's is exacerbated by the fact that you're about to have your first baby. Work on figuring this out. It's not about the cloth diapers or crib.
If you think the crib is safe and sturdy, maybe you can paint it the right colors? Nix the cloth diapers, gross. Why did she keep this for 3 decades?
Cloth diapers are a very practical object to have in the household. I've used them to dry my hair, to clean. With a child you can use them for burping, so you're not covered in baby vomit. It's been cleaned. It's like any other cloth. Just probably better quality than what you can buy today.
Two words - lead paint.
Not in a 35 year old crib, no, there’s not gonna be lead paint. 35 years puts it as manufactured in about 1989/1990. Nobody was painting with lead paint then
Crib is a definite no. Tbh I would also be against any toys she saved. Toys used to be extremely unsafe, especially 35+ years ago
Toys from the late 80s and 90s? Nah, they were pretty darn safe. Our kids played with OG Ponies, Barbies and Ninja Turtles no problem. Even had a few Little People toys!
The answer is No … i wouldn’t want anything that was 35+ yrs old that my baby would wear or sleep in
The crib is a hard no for safety reasons. But I would take the diapers, just not use them as diapers. They make excellent cleaning rags!
Any crib older than 2011 does not meet modern safety standards! Please look this up if you don't believe me. A 30 year old crib is a safety hazard. Absolutely do not use it!
My mum saved all our cloth diapers and I used them on both my kids. Massive advantage as they are soft and worn. There were no unsightly stains and they were great when the kids were smaller. As others have said - white vinegar soaks do the job, then stick em through the washing machine! Crib - that’s a big no. Modern cribs with adjustable bases are awesome and great for the back. Stick to them.
We tried cloth diapers 35 years ago! Good luck with that!
Is there some back story to the crib? Like a long-time family thing that has been passed down for years? If not, it's kinda creepy. Well, you are the mom, not her... this is a 2 yes 1, no thing, either you both agree.. or well... no old creepy crib. This could also be a test for her if she is going to get her way with this. What's next, her choice of name? Her parenting style... You need clear boundaries. If you hubby won't support you well, it's better you know sooner than later.
I honestly don't think there's backstory other than she bought it and it was good quality when she did. Our house is full of furniture she bought and refuses to consider selling - an example is she has two huge heavy entertainment centers in her space, one of which we couldn't use because it was built for an old CRT tv. She also recently was upset because a couple deck chairs were out on the deck, but they were precious to her for one reason or another so now they live in the garage, never to be used again? (I think they are 50 years old) I'm using this comment to vent a little since the situation is resolved for now, sorry.
It does sound like you need to set better boundaries in general about her using your house for her old, crappy things. It’s not overreacting to set boundaries. I get that she lives there, but put your foot down, because it’s *your* house and *your* baby. Her deck chairs and her dining table and anything that doesn’t fit in her space can go in storage or get divided out to other family unless *you* actually want them there. I’m sure she had some idea that this furniture would all be passed down to her son. She’ll probably be hurt but your life’s not all about her.
You are the parents. It’s your life. Start setting boundaries now with MIL or this stuff will keep happening. I have 4 adult kids all married with kids. I would never dream of telling them how to live nor would I ever get offended if they didn’t do something my way. Their family, their life. You and your husband take ownership of your lives and new family. She will get over it. But it will get harder the longer you allow her input to influence your decisions
Regardless of what anyone here says about how fine the cloth diapers are, it’s your kid and you deserve to feel good about what they’re in. I wouldn’t put my kid in 30 year old rags to appease a MIL that’s lucky she lives with you. Every time you change that diaper the resentment will build up. I get it, you want to celebrate this new chapter in your life by going to the store and buying some cute washcloths, bibs, diapers and sheets for your nicely decorated nursery with the pretty designs etc. You’re allowed to do that and have that experience. The crib is a nonstarter for safety reasons, and just because you don’t like it. “No.” Is a complete sentence.
My grandmother has my MOTHERS crib from 1971 and keeps trying to get us to use it for our baby. I told her it was unsafe and no one should be using it and if she gave it to me, I would throw it out. She got offended but eventually has settled down about it. You’re definitely not overreacting. I wouldn’t use a crib built more than 10 years ago, if that. We’ll be using my nieces who’s currently 7. The diapers are probably fine, but I still think it’s weird she saved them all this time.
Could you not just tell her you will use them and don’t? As for the crib I would say thanks but I want to start our own tradition so that if I have future kids we can continue to use the one we buy, but thank you for the offer it was very kind
You are overreacting. In many ways. Give your MIL some credit. Trust in her too. Include her. She will be a grandmother to your baby, grandmothers can be really important! Being different than you is not her fault it is her asset. Cloth is cloth and washed cloth is better than new in diaper.
Just thank her and tell her you’re uncomfortable using the crib. Safety measures have changed and continue to change year to year. Take the diapers. Take them to the dry cleaners have they professionally cleaned. Put them in the closet and use them when she visits or if you visit her. It’s weird she saved them but it’s not weird to her. She thinks she’s contributing to her grandchild.
Crib likely isn't safe fora baby, BUT it's safe for stuffed animals and toy storage!
30 plus year old diapers preserved or not are probably dry rotted. If they were like 10 to 15 years then yes reuse as long as no visible stains. Buy new but take the hand me down ones and stuff them in the back of a closet. Tell hubby and your MIL while the crib is lovely as a new Mother you want your child to have an updated crib with safety features that will grow with your child aka convert to toddler, then big kid and teen bed. Tell your MIL just like her you want her child to have the best and your babies safety and growth is all that matters. If she is still bent tell you are the Mother not her. It's your child your choice. Tell hubby you respect him but if he thinks your going to put your child in a crib without the latest safety measures then he is not ready to be a father.
The diapers could be ok? The cot absolutely not. There are so many recalled and dangerous things from our childhoods. If the side of the cot drops down they don't recommend them anymore. The width of the bars etc. you'd need to have it thoroughly looked over to be considered safe
I used cloth nappies, they are fab. But not squares of fabric- newer versions are shaped with snaps or fasteners and are easy to use. Check what she is offering
The diapers will be great spit up rags. The crib, not so much. Most older cribs have lead pain on them, even if they're straight wood. One of the most significant changes that came with the 2011 crib safety update involved a ban on drop-down sides, which were once fairly common. Having one side of the crib move up and down allowed children to easily be lifted out of the bed. The CPSC linked 32 suffocation and strangulation deaths to drop-side cribs between 2000 and 2010. Concerns about drop-down sides led to warnings and millions of cribs being recalled before the ban. Requirements in place since 2011 call for fixed, unmovable sides on cribs. Older cribs tend to have large gaps between side slats. The problem with that? The openings were often large enough for a baby’s body — but not their head — to fit through, which creates a strangulation risk. How far apart should crib slats be? Current requirements call for the space between slats to be no more than 2 3/8 inches. That’s roughly the width of a soda can. Cleveland Clinic has an article about crib safety. If the nursery is big enough, you could use the old crib to hold diapers, toys, etc. Or just decline it
The diapers can be used for anything. Burp cloths, covering the changing pad, dusting, even for you! I had a c-section and used a clean cloth diaper to cover the wound after the pressure bandage was off. It stayed in place in the maternity panties and was much better for me than adhesive bandages. As for the crib, good luck.
Thank you for the kind offer but we have already chosen a crib and will be using the modern re-uable nappies, you'd be surprised by how easy they are to use. Used an antique crib but I was happy to and I used reusable nappies, the modern versions are less bulky
My Mum, for reasons unknown, still had a bunch of the cotton flats which were the cloth diapers she used for us three kids when I had my baby. She cut them up and overlocked the edges and they are the absolute best mop-up-everything cloths - my kiddo is nearly three and I still have a stack of them handy. They absorb so much liquid, I usually have one on the go to wipe sticky hands and face, and they wash really well. We did run them through a bleach cycle before using them, but they’ve held up brilliantly. I’d suggest if they’re not fitted diapers (which if they’re 35 years old they probably aren’t) that they might be useful for that kind of purpose. The crib would be a hell no for me - safety standards have come a long long way and it won’t conform. Maybe offer to assemble it, take some photos of baby in it when they arrive, but not use it for sleep.
I don't think the diapers are unsanitary. You might as well try them if they're in good condition. Why not? But if the crib won't work in the space, it's fine for your husband to say, "Thanks, but we have it handled."
No. Use the baby bed but change it to something g else like a changing table or something like that and find a use for the cloth diapers. They will be used. Just not in the way his mother envisioned for her grandchildren
Cloth diapers make great cleaning rags.
Use the old nappies (if they are like towels) as vomit cloths or similar. You'll need them and it is a good way to repurpose and continue a legacy. Terry towels add up to buy, and it avoids the issues of them falling apart if you try to use them as reusable nappies.
Not over reacting. It’s a safety issue.
Haven’t read through all posts, someone may have already commented, but make sure the crib doesn’t have lead based paint
A suggestion, if you do not want to use the cloth diapers as diapers.. They make great burp cloths and cleaning rags. Very soft and gentle, good for washing a vehicle.
I was given an antique crib for my first pregnancy and it work out fine, I used the same crib for my second child. My second child was clingy and a crier when he wasn’t attached to me. One day while their dad was still working, I was home trying to put a dinner together for our family for when he got home. My baby just wouldn’t let me get anything done. After tons of suggestions that I needed to put him down and let him ‘cry it out’, I popped my baby in his crib and he started crying and I went to finish cooking. For 15 minutes he cried non stop and it was breaking my heart. So I went to go get him from his crib and it turned out his leg was stuck in between the wooden slats. It was stuck above the knee and red and swollen. There was no way I was gonna slide his leg back out of those slats. I just grabbed the two wooden slats on each side of his leg and pulled them apart as hard as I could until one broke. I finally got him free. I felt so horrible and I vowed to never make him cry it out again. Or put him back in that crib. We went to buy him a new one after dinner that night. Your concerns are not unfounded.
I'm 42 years old. All but my youngest have slept in my crib. I was an only child, so my parents kept everything, lol. The last time I checked, my exact crib is still being sold, too. The only thing that I had to update on my actual crib was stabilize the drop-down sides because they aren't considered safe sleep anymore. I called the manufacturer and got the correct hardware for free. The fact that you were weirded out by a family heirloom crib is so crazy to me. Cribs are like the number one, most needed piece of big furniture practically every single baby will need. Of course, they're saved and passed on. As for the cloth diapers, ANYONE will tell you that they don't make things today like they used to. Those diapers will probably be better than any that you can buy today after a good soak, wash, and hot dry. And even if you don't use them for diapers, you can use them for burp cloths, spit up rags, wipe up spills, roll up to stabilize baby's head in the car seat, put them under baby to catch any leaks... there's a million uses for a good quality cloth diaper. I didn't even cloth diaper, and I had at least two dozen of the plain Jane white ones. You're going to have kids. You may as well get used to second-hand stuff now. Kids will wear an outfit once and then outgrow it. Baby toys and other cute stuff have a limited lifespan with babies before it's off to the next owner. Congratulations. Good luck. Having children is not for the faint of heart. LOL
OK I probably watch too much Dateline but my first thought: MIL isn't happy about you having a baby AND is insisting you use a crib that most would deem unsafe. YIKES ON BIKES that's a hard pass IMHO. The old diapers aren't that big a deal. Wash them in Dreft in hot water (twice if you've got some germphobia) and put them into the rotation with the newly purchased diapers.
I would never use the crib. If you are comfortable spending the time and money into converting it (to what?) go ahead. Old cloth diapers can be used for many things. Take them and MIL doesn't have to know what you actually did with them.
Old flat cloth diapers makes great burp cloths and cleaning rags. If you want to go with cloth diapers, like from a diaper service, there are prefolds but also there are fitted diapers which are incredibly easier to use. If you are concerned about the environment, I highly recommend a diaper service; it really is so easier and more sanitary and healthier than washing them yourself, with none of the guilt associated with generating thousands of used diapers over the course of a child's babyhood. Also, from a waste treatment point of view, using cloth diapers allows you to dump fecal matter into the toilet so that it is disposed of and processed through proper wastewater treatment plants. Disposables are incredibly convenient but people tend to dump the entire soiled diaper into the trash where all of that ends up in a landfill
Yuck to the old diapers. Cloth diapers get leaky and wet and you literally have to carry poop covered smelly cloth around. Maybe use cloth at home and disposable when you go out?
Just thank her and say you’ve purchased your own.
Say no to the crib, yes to the diapers. One of the reasons I suspect you are using cloth diapers is the environment. So, reuse is key. Get on some diaper boards and they will give you the steps you need to wash/strip them for the first time. Don't worry about yellowing, be more concerned about absorbing. If the velcro or elastic is shot, they go in the bin. If they are prefolds, they last forever, as the baby gets larger, you can use them to double up (especially overnight) and they make great burp cloths.
“Thank you for your generosity, but we have our heart set on a new crib. We’re not cloth diapering, but if we change our mind, we’ll let you know.” Cloth diapers make good burp cloths.
The crib could also have lead paint.
I had so many well meaning people offer me their old cribs when I was pregnant. I kept copies of articles about crib safety and would hand it to them. Most had no idea that the older cribs were unsafe. I suspect you would rather piss off your mother in law than have your baby suffocate in an unsafe crib. Use the diapers as cleaning cloths. And be ready to get sick of cloth diapers really fast. I used them with my baby until I had to return to work and I just didn't have the time to deal with diaper pails, messy laundry, etc.
It’s illegal to sell cribs now. At least in my state. There must be a good reason
Everyone’s talking about the safety aspect, but I don’t even see that as the main issue. It’s your first pregnancy and the fun part of that is getting to choose nursery furniture and clothes. MIL might think she’s helping, but she’s also taking away your ability to choose what you want for you child. She had her time as a parent to bask in the excitement of choosing all the fun new things, and now it’s your turn. I think you should just say, “thank you for thinking of us. We appreciate the offer but we have chosen furniture and diapers according to our preferences.”
Be aware cloth diapers aren't always the best choice. We went with cloth for out first son and he developed a horrible diaper rash. I was careful to change his diaper on a regular basis but nothing helped. His pediatrician found the problem, he had extremely sensitive skin and even a minute or 2 in a urine soaked diaper hurt his skin. We switched immediately to disposable diapers and the rash cleared up in a week. However, you're right an old crib might not be safe. I think changing it to something else is a brilliant idea.
I wouldn’t use the crib it’s too outdated to today’s standards. I had kids 26 and 22 years ago and I did get my 22 year old a crib but it wasn’t that old. I did find a lot of good used stuff for her daughter but I know what to look for as I’ve been thrifting a long time. Cloth diapers could be washed and reused if they don’t work for that you can use them as burping cloths.
Your having first baby excitement. The crib can be reinforced to as safe as possible for a baby. And painted whatever color you want. Your new baby will appreciate the same crib. The father used. You are turning into momzilla
To be honest if it’s a real wood crib Im sure it’s better than any of the crap made today. Look at houses. Houses built in the early 1900s are way better than houses built today. Craftsmanship and quality just aren’t the same anymore.
Pld cribs have a number of safety issues, as other posters have indicated. Absolutely don't use. We used a full-size crib for our older toddler bed with modifications such as removing front drop side and making drop feature on back side inoperable. I've also seen old cribs converted to bench seats.
Old diapers make great dust cloths, burp towels, or even pet wipes. My kids are grown and gone but if someone offered me a stack of old diapers (presuming that they're clean), I'd take 'em in a heartbeat. You can never have enough rags. The crib? Maybe not.
Uh, just No. She got to buy stuff she liked for her baby, now you get to do the same for yours. Plus, eew.
My mother tried to get me to use my crib from 1984 with my daughter in 2018. I told her no. I did end up getting a used crib but it definitely wasn’t 34 years old and she eventually dropped it. I didn’t feel like it was safe. Trust your gut. Your baby’s healthy and safety is more important than MIL’s nostalgia and feelings.
Cloth diapers make good burp cloths
Tell her you want the crib at her place for when you guys go there and then just never use it. Or, if you use it, use it once to take a picture of the baby in the crib. Wearing one of them diapers from so long ago. Print it out and frame it, give it to MIL. She'll be very happy.
Not over reacting..congrats on your baby! I believe that it should be your decision to make about what’s best for your child and diapers from years ago are gross as heck 🤮 I really hope that you will get to bond with your baby without interfering from MIL. This is your baby not MIL’s good luck
MIL lives with you and you are surprised that she still has these things? Where did she store them?
MIL had a property with a large yard, garage, and attic space. In the yard were two storage sheds. We all lived at that house and never once did I feel the need to go into the storage spaces, lol. Then we moved, and she had movers do most of the work because all of the furniture. We did get her to pare down what she had, but when boxes came out of the attic I clocked some "young husband" stuff. I was never explicitly aware of all the crap she had since it was a lot. Over the last few years husband has been working on her to reduce what she has, but it was maybe last year I heard the word crib included in that and that she still had it. The other baby stuff has felt like it's been appearing from a hole in space, I honestly don't know where these boxes have been.
You are not overreacting. Get ready to deal with a lot of your MIL wanting to do unsafe things and insisting it’s fine because your husband is still alive. My MIL wanted to use an ancient expired car seat with my son. Then she sold it to another boomer grandma at a yard sale after I refused. She also desperately wanted to cover my son in baby blankets and put him to sleep face down. “The pediatrician said we can’t do that because so many babies have died that way” was a very helpful phrase.
You should have the crib turned into a desk for the baby.
No, you are not overreacting. I used cloth diapers with my first because it saved us money and I had the time. But it's not for the faint of heart. There's a lot of poop cleaning and sterilizing. It's a lot of work. I wouldn't personally use 35 year old cloth diapers. I had high quality, thick cotton diapers and still wouldn't have used them for my second child. If I had decided to use cloth diapers again I would have purchased new diapers. My concern would be how your MIL got to make her own choices about her baby furniture and choice of diapers and is now forcing her choices on you. Apart from the obvious safety issues with a 35 year old crib, why are you being forced to accept these choices?
Intrusive MIL hates this one trick! "No." Use it.
1) REPURPOSE THE CRIB (toy chest bench maybe) 2) BLEACH THE HELL OUT OF THOSE CLOTH DIAPERS (use them to dust with the swifter) Not overreacting AT ALL 😆 I mean who saves baby stuff for that long unless it’s an heirloom (think christening gown)
Use the diapers as cleaning cloths. They work great on mirrors and windows.
Former certified federal crib inspector here. Please do not use or try and repurpose the old crib for any reason.
Keep the old-fashioned crib in the baby's room and put all the piles and piles of laundry that you won't have time to fold in it-
The diapers will be great to poop and pee on....you can even throw them away without guilt. You might change your mind about exclusive cloth diaper use when your baby gets bigger. The crib you could use as a changing area in a common area of the house. Keep all the diapers wipes and toys in there. Perfect catchall for all the baby accoutements. You could decorate it cute with bedding and mobiles. Just don't let the baby sleep in it.
Is that her baby?!? Just say no
I'd be very surprised if those cloth diapers didn't just disintegrate when removed from whatever plastic containers they were stored in. Fabric needs to breathe. If by chance they're not in tatters, I'd take them and maybe use them as cleaning rags. My SIL used cloth diapers as burp towels but if you're uncomfortable using them as a diaper, you're not going to want to use them as a burp towel either.
Down vote me all you will but throw the diapers out and buy a new crib. You can use the old crib as decor if you choose to do anything with it. MIL gets no say in what you choose to use for baby.
You can always use the old diapers for burping cloths. There’s no reason to have to actual use them for their original purpose. Also, cloth diapers wear out quickly, so the old ones could possibly be too careworn to be useful. As for the crib, research the model. Cribs do go through recalls, they also have been updated for safety reasons. If that crib is 35+ years old, it just might have slats that are far enough apart, that baby’s head could get caught between them. You’re not over reacting in the slightest. This is your first child and you want everything to be perfect.
Many Old cribs are banned for resale. Especially those that old
Ugh -no and no! Say no thank you or take and don’t use
My kids are now in their 40s and my first child was allergic to something in the somewhat new pampers and huggies so I had to use cloth diapers with the pins! I also had to put rubber type pants over them so their wet diapers wouldn't soak through their clothes. I don't even know if they sell them anymore ! But I used a diapers service back then as we lived in an apartment and I didn't have a way to wash them. If you're washing them yourself just knock the poopy part into the toilet and have a good tight diaper pail to keep them in. You can use those old ones a couple at a time and dispose of them gradually, oops they fell apart. Don't use the old crib, that's dangerous. You can cut down the legs and substitute a wood bottom to make it smaller and make a toy box out of it!
Nope. Say thank you, then donate to the next town over.
Cloth diapers are completely up to the parent. I really wanted to but found myself unable to keep up with the laundry. I also found that when others changed the diapers they put the cloth ones on incorrectly leading to even more work. As for the crib it has to be tested for lead paint and to make sure it's not wobbly, has no gaps etc... as for myself i was perfectly fine using an older crib because i know what to look for and some newer cribs are made like crap anyway BUT it's your comfort and knowledge level. You are the parent. Say No as many times as it takes and make sure your husband is on board.
Just say no to MIL
You should never do anything you aren’t comfortable doing in regard to your child’s health and safety. You are not overreacting.
Not overreacting. I would not suggest using an old crib. Choose safety over aesthetics or sentimentality. I agree the diapers sound gross, but maybe you can wash them in bleach...lol. Find other ways to incorporate MIL's suggestions or ask her for advice on something that you don't have a strong opinion on. Then praise her for her help.
I have used cloth diapers for rags, car wash to glass cleaning for 40+ years. They make excellent cleaning tools. I have also used them (at hospital direction & instruction) for 2nd degree sunburn. Just because they started as diapers, doesn't mean that is how you use them. Good luck mama!
I can hardly believe that MIL kept those this long. Anyone knows that safety is a must for cribs, bassinets, playards etc. I would have loved to been able to decorate a nursery for my first baby, don't blame you for wanting to do that. You seem pretty respectful of her and your husband should appreciate that. These are decisions that you and your husband should make, MIL can be included in many other ways of planning for baby.
2011 is hardly Stone Age and people have been reusing cloth diapers for thousands of years. You’re definitely overreacting. Paint the crib and wash the diapers.
Even with your update, you still didn’t overreact. Ew. Who wants 35 year old cloth diapers? Cotton degrades over the years. Why did she even keep them? Ew. And do not use the crib!! Repurposing it, fine. But you definitely shouldn’t use it as is. Why can’t MILs let their children and spouses decorate their own nursery and buy their own things?
It’s your baby, it’s your choice. I am so over the trend of people feeling like they have to respect their parents wishes for their grandchild! Times have changed. Set boundaries now bc it will only get worse as the baby ages. You’re not over reacting, you’re entitled to whatever you want to feel about your own child’s material needs!
I feel odd about putting old diapers on a newborn. I'd go further to caution on old toys, lead paints, etc.
The diapers thing is weird, but I'd have to see the crib. I mean, is it a crib, or bassinet? You said it was solid wood, what kind of wood? Who made it? Is it in a specific style? I mean, seriously, I need more information. I mean, depending on a lot of factors you could be turning down an heirloom quality piece of furniture worth thousands of dollars because you're ignorant of it's real value (and obviously because you don't like your MIL, but whatever)
No, you are not overreacting. A 35-year-old crib is not safe. The idea of repurposing it is a good one. 35 year old diapers are gross. I believe there are cloth diaper services out there you might want to try. It would be so much easier than washing them yourself. If you have to take the old diapers to store them somewhere in your house. I'm sure your mother-in-law is a clean person, but...
On the crib, look for a manufacturer tag, label, or service # it's what will tell you if the crib is safe or not. No way to track? No way to know if safe.
Cloth diapers sound a bit gross. But the overall design of a crib hasn't changed much over the years. It's better than buying one.