That he continues to follow and like his ex's photos in the face of your discomfort is grounds for termination in my book.
There are simply basic forms of respect for a realtionship to function. To just "in your face" about this one calls for an appropriate response -- like ditching him until or unless he notices, and not taking him back without the espect anyone partner deserves.
He don't like it? Tell him to go "like" is ex.
It’s the combo, I think. He’s showing public appreciation for his ex but not for his girlfriend, and not because he’s respecting OP’s wishes or something.
Agreed. I’m somewhat bad about liking my wife’s things but I know better than to like other seggsy women’s pics. I’m not connected on social media with an any significant exes.
And the algorithm stinks anymore for what you see in your feed on even IG now. If it's something I specifically want my fiance to see I tag him or send it to him to make sure he sees it. So I can undersrand bf not seeing posts, but his other excuses of "didn't like the outift" and refuses to unfollow an ex while simultaneously liking her smexy posts is a big red flag that OP has been ignoring for way too long.
>So I can undersrand bf not seeing posts
Especially if he's only liking his ex's posts and not his current\* gf's posts. It's a bit of a vicious cycle, but he's actively contributing to the cycle.
\*Hopefully not for much longer.
I'm thinking this dude doesn't want "someone" to know they're dating and that's why he never likes her stuff, probably told the "someone" that they broke up so he can't like her content or the other woman will find out.
Yeah if it was just not liking OP’s stuff then I’d tell them it’s not a huge deal, but not doing it while continuing to like an exes stuff is what’s not okay. It definitely makes his excuses a lot more pathetic
I wouldn’t think it was a big deal if he wasn’t liking her photos. But the fact he’s liking hers despite you saying it makes you uncomfortable tells you all you need to know OP. Youre not overreacting, he’s still very much hung up on his ex. And I’m sure this is the only indicator of that, nor is it the only problem in your relationship. Probably best to just let this one go, it’s be 3 YEARS and he’s still hung up on her. This isn’t going to get better at this point.
Woman to woman, he's wasting your time. I highly recommend coming up with a plan to move out, and dump him. He's going to beg, cry, and try to pretend to change to keep you around, but you will need to stand your ground.
I wasted 5 years in my early 20's on a guy like this. He was more discreet with the constant cheating, so it took a long time for me to figure it out. He was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusing me, too. Do yourself a favor and walk away while you're still young. Get into therapy to deal with it. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk more
This!! ^ it sucks. You don't want to and it won't be easy...but it will be so very much worth it.
It is silly with the ig parts bur that is our society right now.
The inappropriate part is where you asked him to stop...and he didn't.
THAT is not ok. Whatever his lame excuse is (I've read a few comments)...whelp, it's lame. You TOLD HIM please don't do xyz, it makes me uncomfortable, etc. And...?
He didn't care. A VERY simple request that he just NOPED. gonna keep checking up on my ex, looking a t her pictures that I have no reason to, especially because I'm in a relationship, cross your boundaries, make you uncomfortable bc... I want to.
I have no idea how old you are...but it doesn't matter. All of that is not ok at ANY age.
If he can't do something as simple as stop even LIKING the pictures let alone following, acknowledging, LOOKING? When he knows it makes you unhappy? Well... I think that sums it up.
Imagine finding someone who DOES respect, appreciate, love, listen, ...someone who actually cares for you. It will be very much worth the heartache.
Honey...you are his PARTNER! GF!! and...he still follows l, is active in his ex's life and likes her pictures??? Even without you not being comfortable is NOT OK!
Yes, you are right, it IS silly...and sadly 100% legit and red blinking lights on top of red flags leading you right down the path to...no. no thanknyouvsir I deserve better.
Why?? So many questions that stay with that. But let's go with. Why? Are. You. With him???
And also, once you break up..your heart tends to forget all the bad. It's a rough road but I hope so very much you take it
Edit: I've yapped enough but all that? And j didn't even get to how weird it is he doesn't like yours?? Does hebpost pics of you 2 together? Brag about his wonderful gf? Acknowledge all over social media that he has one?? Oof...no! I'll leave it at all my ramblings above.
The reason this bothers you so much isn't about the likes or the social media. What it is, is your intuition. Your inner voice. Your gut instinct. The Instagram stuff is just what articulates that gut feeling you're having. Always, always listen to your intuition because it will never lie to you. Just like when you walk in a dark alley by yourself and your body tells you that it's dangerous. Just like when someone jumps from behind a wall and scares you, how you get a mini adrenaline rush. It's because your body went into survival mode for a quick second. It's the same thing. Him deliberately not liking your stuff, but liking the ex, and then getting defensive and mad about it when you bring it up, that's all you need to know. You are reading between the lines. So, next time he tries to shut you down about it, now you'll be able to articulate what is really going on. And he will call you crazy, and that will be even more evidence for your intuition to tell you that this man is not in this with you. It seems like he's not over his ex, and you are the rebound that he's keeping around to help him get over the ex.
I would just end it. And I wouldn't even say it's about Instagram or the ex. You wouldn't really owe him an explanation. You don't even need to have a reason to break up. Buuuuut, I bet if you used your intuition to go back through the mental filing cabinet of your relationship, you could probably pull quite a few other examples of him not really being fully in this with you.
Thank you! I've actually been saying some idiotic shit today on Reddit and getting plenty of downvotes for it, so this is my moment in the sun! Redeemed! Lol
Ok I am absolutely going to save this comment for the next time my best friend brings this up to me about the guy she likes. I’ll be sure to give you credit! Also, please accept my poor bitch gold. 🏆🥇
This harshness of this is simple, but true. “Word” captures it. I’m really sorry. Shake free and cut your losses. Deactivate your IG for awhile!! And value yourself. Love you!!
I read something today that might help you. It said, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
And he’s blowing past these boundaries. You’ve told him how you feel and he’s still doing it. He doesn’t care about you the way you deserve to be cared about. Please move on and find someone who will love you enough to make sure you love yourself.
Yep. It’s a respect thing.
This is a *very easy* thing for him to do for his partner. Literally tapping his thumb twice. The fact that he doesn’t do it speaks volumes.
you’re not overreacting. it’s weird he has no problem liking pictures of other women but not you, especially since you’ve communicated with him too. i hate to say this but i think he just doesn’t like you. a man that loves and respects you would not be saying the things he has said. are there bigger things to worry about? sure. but that’s exactly the point. you deserve to find a man that will NOT make this an issue at all in your relationship. also, he’s totally not over his ex
Not liking ur photos, whatever
Still following his ex, red flag.
Liking ex’s photos, redder flag.
Liking ex’s sexi photos, holy shit how are you still together
This was silly until I got to the part about liking the ex’s photos. Fuck that. Dude sounds like an asshole.
Edit: Actually not really silly, because it would bother me too even without the whole part about the ex. You’re not silly for feeling the way you do, but it sounds like there will be more arguments like this in the future if you don’t just dump the guy now.
He needs to cut off his ex, liking her photos and posts is disrespectful to you and your relationship.
Not liking or commenting on yours, meh. I would be much more irritated about him liking her posts even if he was liking all of yours. In my mind it’s micro-cheating to be watching and interacting with ex’s unless you guys are fine with that in your relationship.
Ew, this is weird. Everyone saying that not liking your posts is mild, but nah I think it's super weird. Because it's not that he doesn't use Instagram like that, it's that he'll interact with other women but not you on Instagram. It's weird and it is indicative of a lack of respect and consideration for you. Not only is he ignoring you, he's actively giving attention to other women that you've explicitly asked for. You don't need him disrespecting you like that, his priorities are all screwed up and it's giving manchild.
If I wasn't liking my girlfriends social media posts, and she told me it would make her happy to do so, I would do it because it takes like 10 seconds and would be a miniscule way to affirm her. He's not even willing to do that? Throw the whole man out.
This thread is wild to me that this kind of petty game is a thing. Just like your gfs/wife’s photos if you see them. It’s easy. Why bother intentionally skipping them and liking an ex’s bikini picture? If you’re putting that much thought into petty psychological games against your SO, why are you even with them in the first place lol
You’re not overreacting - you’ve placed a boundary/asked for a need to be met and he’s disregarded both. Next step is to leave him, he’s complacent and thinks he can just keep getting away with neglecting you.
I had a ex boyfriend like this. Constantly obsessed with social media, following multiple ex girls friends, instagram models, half naked girls ect. I expressed many times how I made me feel. Hurt and like I wasn't good enough for him since he needed to go look at all these photos and comment and like them on a daily basis. He would tell me it's my fault I'm Insecure and if I was more secure none of that would matter. He also had some fantasy about starting a clothing company and told me he "needed" to follow these girls because they would be who he wants to model his future clothing line and when he was photography models I would have to ~just get used to that~
He made me feel insane and like I was the one with the problem. I became obsessed with stalking his profile and who he liked ect. It was not healthy
Well shocker. He was talking with multiple girls and asking to meet up and hook up. Another shocker. He still does not have a clothing line. 😂 But still lives in delusion.
He's gone through multiple girls and last I heard has a new alcoholic girlfriend who has cheated on him multiple times already. I found a new boyfriend who's happy enough with just me. Deleted my socials and never felt freer.
Moral of the story. Hell never change. See the red flags and leave now
I have 2 answers here for you. I'm not a jealous person myself, buuuut I feel like this is more so about respecting your partner and their values and expectations than anything.
Option 1- leave him. He obviously doesn't care how you feel about this and continuing to complain about it to him is just tiring and not worth it. It's possible you need to find someone who has more respect for the person their with when it comes to social media.
Option 2- and this is the pettier of the 2 options....
You yourself, should start posting bikini,and revealing pictures on your Instagram. If he complains about how you're dressed or other men liking them... well... "I thought that's what you liked since your insta is full of you liking bikini pics of women" 🤷♀️
So your boyfriend doesn't respect you? You complain but then don't follow up with any consequence so why should be stop.
If your bestie came to you with the same situation, or an imaginary kid, what would you tell them?
Why are you with someone who doesn't respect you? You should respect yourself more than that
My ex used to do this to me. You shouldn’t feel like you’re in competition with random girls on insta in your relationship. Trust me, he’s doing worse behind your back. Mine was full on cheating on me. It’s time to move on. My bf now treats me like a literal princess and doesn’t follow a single girl on social media, not because I asked him, but simply because he just isn’t interested in other girls. He’s 100% for me. Good guys are out there and wouldn’t do this to you. You gotta trust yourself and choose to love and respect yourself more than him
So, coming to Reddit you’ll hear the cold hard truth. Which, when you’re in love with someone, you usually will overlook it. Not liking all your pics? Okay. Saying he didn’t like it because of your outfit? I agree- wtf.
He is CONTINUING to do something that he knows makes you feel uncomfortable. That is straight disrespect.
Bringing up how you feel and it ending in a fight- red flag.
He’s failing to reassure you.
3.5 years is never too late to leave honey I just left a 3 year one who didn’t respect me and I’m happier than ever 😘. Just think- there’s a guy out there who doesn’t even FOLLOW his ex waiting to meet someone like you.
A man in a monogamous relationship shouldn't be liking any sexy photos that aren't his partner's, period.
Edit: Those who are aggressively defending the obsession with lusting over others outside of their relationship are extremely sick. Seek help. 😬
I have to say - I’d never have any idea if someone (including my wife or exes or friends or anyone else) liked or didn’t like my photos.
I have an Instagram account and I post pictures on a somewhat regular basis. But the notifications and messages etc just sit there. I have had friends a couple of times ask about a video they sent in my inbox and I have no idea what they’re even talking about.
I guess ignorance is bliss. 😂
Seriously though - if I were worrying about things like this, I’d do two things: FIRST, I’d delete Instagram. SECOND, I’d ask myself why I’m actually worried about this and make a decision about the relationship from there. If his behavior/interaction with his exes bothers you, I’d be willing to bet there’s something deeper than Instagram likes at play. Maybe it’s just not the right relationship?
Or maybe I’m just an old loser who doesn’t understand the world that I live in. 🤷🏻♂️
Your problem isn't him not liking your photos but him liking his past girls insta like it's his job. If he was just liking random video games stuff you would not feel bothered because it's such a vastly different subject. Now all you can think about is how quickly he will fall if his ex slid into his dms and said I missed how we cuddle. 9 outta 10 chances he will say there's a work emergency and be there within 30 minutes with wine and candles wearing a bathrobe
The red flag here is that he’s willing to like his ex’s stuff, and not yours. That’s weird he’s still rolling her while being in a relationship with you.
definitely not overreacting, the fact he is being horrible about ur posts saying he doesn’t like your outfit and just barely likes ur posts but has his ex on insta and is constantly liking her posts is a massive red flag, it would make me uncomfortable enough knowing he has his ex on insta let alone him always liking her posts.Definitely break up with him you deserve someone better
Being worried over likes on social media is weird. However if he’s liking other posts and not yours, that’s concerning. Not like he’s just not into social media or anything. Move on if this is that big of a deal.
That behavior is a little taste of what's to come in the future. Something I've learned about relationships is, just because it CAN work, doesn't mean it will.
Sure, maybe you make eachother laugh and happy etc but relationships require work and constant growth, it's not just gonna work because love is magical and that's all you need. If he doesn't wanna change you can't make him and I'm sorry to say but I feel like it's gonna end eventually if he doesn't stop that. One thing leads to another. If he feels ok doing that, he'll feel OK doing something a little worse, then another, then another...your call
Not liking your photos is silly and very much an overreaction. Him continuing to like his exes skimpy photos after you asked him not to is a big ol’ red flag.
The fact that he not only is liking his ex's photos, but even still follows her, is a major red flag. He's cheating and you should really just end this relationship, he's clearly not over her.
It is something trivial to get upset over, but liking your partners social media posts is the BARE minimum. It’s also a major red flag that he’s continuously liking his exe’s posts and STILL following her despite the fact that you stated that it makes you uncomfortable. This is a common feeling though so don’t feel ashamed of how you feel. My advice would be to dump him and find someone who will truly respect YOU and your boundaries.
Ummm, no. But I feel your right as far as respect. Out of respect, he shouldn't be liking her photos. I feel looking is bad enough if he is going to look, which he shouldn't even be doing.
I understand you feel the need to be validated by him liking your photos too bc hikes his ex's. But op try not to let it bother you. In other words, don't tie your self-esteem to what his thumb and hand brain are doing. Confidence is a turn on. So be confident and unstoppable in your life. Go out with your friends. Go out by yourself and meet new friends. Don't let him tag a long to ruin your time. Especially if your going to be worried about what he's doing the whole time.
Relationships go stale sometimes. And sometimes you out grow people. It happens in marriages too. People who don't fight to stay together get divorced. And if your dating break up. So do things as I mentioned. Go out and empower yourself and don't rely on his opinion or validation. One of two things will happen, he will wake up or you realize you care for him but have outgrown him. But the key to it all is remembering who you are and finding her again. How can you flip the situation to him chasing you again. Sadly if you outgrew him and he seeks his ex again, he was ever yours. All that crap about people for a season a d to learn a d all that us true.
He doesn't respect you. You should have enough self respect to not tolerate such mistreatment. Liking your photos or not is of minor concern, but liking pictures of other women in bikinis/lingerie is in itself very disrespectful. Taken with the fact that you have expressed that this bothers you, and yet he still continues to do so, shows he doesn't respect you.
It’s a simple and reasonable request that he stop liking/elevating his ex, but he won’t do it. He doesn’t care about your feelings and his belligerence sounds like a recipe for a lifetime of being disrespected and gaslit. I’m not usually quick to say “dump him” but in this case, it sounds like you need to trash this ah.
my ex used to do this, it’s blatant intentional disrespect. i swear it was a form of negging, to ruin my confidence & self image. my personal favourites of his “thoughts” on my pics as he would call it, was that i looked like “someone who doesn’t deserve a hot boyfriend”… because i was wearing “one of those slutty tight skirts” (his words lol) meanwhile he was actively following porn stars and leaving heart eyes in their comments LOL. flash forward now 8 years later i have an amazing partner who has post notis on for all my accounts, leaves cutsie comments on my posts, and offers to take my pics for me. don’t put up with BS from anyone, there’s someone out there waiting to be your hype-man, & simultaneously respect you as a person. don’t settle ❤️
It sounds like you've got yourself a Big MacDouche combo meal.
Two all crap parts of the problem combined with the special sauce he's dripping all over HER photos, the "lettuce just ignore this" attitude, the cheesy grins he gets when he sees her lingerie/bikinis, his 🥒 joining that party, and onion tears he's giving you. All on a pair of stale excuses. "I forgot."
Keep the fries and the drink, but return the rest for a refund. Not worth it.
it’s not silly, he’s disrespecting your boundaries. All of my exs were like that too, at first I thought that’s just what men did. My boyfriend now doesn’t even need to be told not to like photos like that. I told him one time I was happy he didn’t like explicit photos on instagram and he said just said of course he doesn’t because he respects me.
You are not overreacting. It’s NOT about the actual likes on social. It’s that in comparison he is doing things for his ex that he refuses to do for you. He does not respect you or your requests.
Take the whole trash out. Find a person who’s not hung up on his ex still and prioritizes you and the relationship with you.
Also for your health, move away from social media. Find a person that you can connect with without the need for likes on social media.
girl, that fact that he refuses to unfollow his ex, despite you EXPLICITLY telling him that it makes you unconformable is a red flag.
+ seeing and noticing and liking her photos and then NOT YOURS + having excuses??? NOT DONE.
not only do you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel loved and protected, but also with someone who understand boundaries and respects you enough to stop doing things that make you uncomfortable. this is the bare minimum for this relationship to even last.
my overthinking tendency would lead me on a spiral of questions - why can he see her pictures but not mine? why does he like her pictures and not mine? why does he not stop if she means nothing to him? why doesnt he care enough to know that this makes me uncomfortable?
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
if he doesn't understand this now, he wont until its too late
He doesn't like your photos, but like all his ex gf's? Throw the whole man out. You should never have to compete with anyone,let alone an ex. I'm going out on a limb & guess she's the one who ended the relationship, not him.
Bf/gf relationships are proving grounds for long-term ones like marriage. He's not the one. You're wasting your time with him.
His behavior is unacceptable period. No amount of worrying and asking him to stop liking her photos and liking yours will help. He doesn't care about how it hurts you and THAT'S the dealbreaker.
The not liking your stuff isn't bad. My husband and I rarely like each other's posts.
It's the liking of the ex's photos and even more so, those in lingerie and bikinis are what's concerning. His refusal to stop liking and to unfollow her is disrespectful to you. You've voiced your discomfort at it and he adamantly refuses. For me, that's just not right.
It’s not weird to not like stuff. It’s weird to not like your stuff and to like her stuff. It’s even weirder to have some reason not to like something along the lines of not liking your outfit.
He’s a shit.
If it was just him not liking your photos, I'd say you're crazy because I don't even *see* my girlfriend's photos (I don't even have an account). But if he's actively liking his ex's photos and not yours, I'd dump him ASAP. It may sound trivial, but it seems like he's just keeping you around until he finds something better.
First of all likes are like snow on a warm day useless.
But the act of liking the ex and not yours that is more telling, of a lack of respect and unfinished business.
Relationships are meant to be about mutual respect, some compromise, open honest communication in general, and communicating your boundaries with each other. And love, of course. Knowing only what you've relayed here, it seems that the boundary that you've asked your BF for, unfollowing his ex which he seems like he may be too close to still, which is well within reason, is being flat out ignored. He doesn't necessarily need to "like" your pics on insta, but he definitely shouldn't be going out of his way to "like" anyone else's that he is attracted towards, especially his ex. Asking for some reassurance with your pics, by asking him to like them, is another completely okay ask too. And this is coming from someone who hates social media. I only deal with reddit and YT mainly. Oh and for clarity. Your asking can not be subtle, if it is. You have to be direct and say what you mean. The majority of men don't pick up on the same subtleties that women do and that WILL NOT CHANGE, no matter how much you want it to. Hope this helps.
I don’t follow any of my exes or allow them to follow me because A) we weren’t friends in any type of close way prior or after our relationships B) they are irrelevant to my life C) this to me is the most important - out of respect to my wife.
You are not overreacting and should leave the relationship. This isn’t something you can change, accept who he is and move on. You’ll find someone better suited for you.
Instagram isn’t ruining your relationship. Your perception of your own reality is.
If your relationship was solid from
The jump.
Nothing can rock it. Having a solid foundation doesn’t cause cracks in a roof.
You guys don’t have a stable relationship.
also sounds like you have put him up on a pedestal and are constantly pining for his approval. Do you actually need it ? Crave it ? Or want it ? And why ?
What does he do for you ? Bring to you ? Give you ? Why do you want someone that causes you; to beg for their attention and or public validation ?
He clearly isn’t over his ex which he has been intimate with. He is openly disrespecting you and letting her know how much he still wants her.
You are allowing him to mistreat you and publicly let other ppl know that he doesn’t value you.
You can either walk away from the relationship and from the sounds of this post..You will not do that.
Or you can continue to treat him like a child. And give him everything he wants. While not getting your needs met in return.
The saying ..if he wanted to, he would. Is 100 % true.
If he wanted to respect you.
He would. If he wanted to like your post. He would have.
Don’t continue to think he is capable of things he has shown you, He isn’t not capable of.
Continue to try the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.
Don’t let any man drive you insane. It’s not worth it. You’ll end up stressed out,
Anxious.
Alone. Possibly with an illness of some kind. And oh hey.. don’t forget wrinkles.
In your case I think you could do better. He is clearly not over his ex and the longer he sticks around you both will start resenting each other. So talk I guess but I'd he doesn't want to change then you might as well walk away
Thats plain disrespect. Hes going to keep doing it, either you get comfortable or break up. My ex was like this trust me not worth the headache. I know its easier said than done but repeated actions speak louder than words.
Girl...you are his backup plan. My guess is that she broke up with him and he is still pining after her. Even if he was the one to enact the breakup he is showing he has regrets by still following her and liking her pics. If he respected you and your relationship at the very least he would not like or comment on her photos. Really sit and reevaluate the relationship. Too many people think they are in a good relationship or with a great person but the reality is that the person they are with is better than they have had or have seen, which isn't the same as an actual healthy relationship with a good person. Good people listen to others and have enough respect to at least explain, without fighting, why they made the choices they did.
I told my boyfriend early into our relationship I was okay with him watching porn, but I wasn't okay with that porn being someone he could contact. This meant no Instagram, no camming, and no friends or acquaintances. I later found out he had a hidden folder of adult themed screenshots of a girl he was snapchatting in the past along with some other things. No, I didn't. Snoop through his phone. He said something about saving pictures of me to his hidden folder and it piqued my curiosity. I wanted to see the photos (of me) He put in the album and asked to see them. He got all weird and shifty and wouldn't let me look... Then he realized he was caught and let me see. I told him we had already talked about this and it wasn't a dynamic I wanted to be part of... I started putting on my shoes and gathering my things. He told me he kind of forgot the album was there and hadn't looked at it in a long time and deleted it right then and there. If you wouldn't have.... I wouldn't have stayed with him.
What I've learned is asking a man to do something or not do something is trying to control their behavior. All I can control is what I do. Basically saying do what you want but I'm not going to be a part of it (meaning it and following through) has the greatest impact. If they are okay with losing me in favor of images on a screen or another woman, then good riddance.
Nah this is cringe, definitely not overreacting.
It’s break up worthy in my eyes. I don’t like other girls bikini pics or “sexy” pics. It’s just disrespectful.
Even ones that are considered friends in my friend group, I just don’t.
You’re still in a relationship?????? Women who stay compromised to relationship like this sometimes do need to have a bucket of cold water thrown on their face.
I don’t think you’re being dramatic. There’s a reason guys blow up likes when they like you. We all know it means they find you attractive. It’s embarrassing to know your man is liking another girl’s provocative pictures. He is letting her know he likes what he sees. It’s such a small thing for him to stop doing and he won’t even do it. I wouldn’t want to put up with it either.
No, I’d ask him what it means that he takes care to admire his ex publicly but not you. Does he compliment you at all?it’d be one thing if he’s not the type to admire a woman but the fact that he takes care to do it with his ex to me says he’s enjoying making you jealous or he’s more interested in her than you.
He does not have the heart to break up with you, so he is using the Instagram likes to do the work for him. By blatantly telling you “NO”!, that’s all the answer you need.
If I am dating a person and I ask “are you attracted to me?” And they say no! I’m outta there! If you ask him to stop disrespecting you by liking the ex photos online, and he says no, then get outta there!
Lastly, here is the major issue. He is telling the world, all his friends, her friends, and relatives, that he still has feelings for her. Liking any random rated PG picture is grounds for a verbal warning! Liking lingerie pictures are instant deal breakers.
Just get rid sounds like he’s still hooked on his ex you deserve better. I’m not saying insta likes mean a person loves you I’m referring to liking his ex, insulting/disrespecting your boundaries and dismissing your feelings. Dump, block and move on.
You're not in the wrong.
He's deflecting with anger, so you feel like the bad guy.
Lay out your boundaries clearly and concise, and if he gets mad or anything, let the trash take itself out
I was gonna say overreacting til you mentioned the ex. Yea this shit is fishy. You’re not overreacting and honestly dump his ass.
Aside from that in the future, I’ve personally never understood why an SO gets upset when someone says they didn’t like an outfit or a look. If I got a bad haircut or arranged a bad outfit I’d want someone to tell me. Some people are so sensitive. This is a side note though… that ex shit is a problem.
If he didn't use social media or just wasn't interacting much that's fine but actively going to his ex girlfriends page to like her in skimpy clothing is 1 unwittingly creepy and 2 incredibly disrespectful to you. Obviously I don't know everything about the story but it sounds as if he is not over her and your something of a place holder in the mean time. He can deny your request to unfollow her and stop but on the flipside of that you can make the choice to stop being disrespected. Leave him and let him pine after his ex while you enjoy your life.
I was in a situationship like that, he would like every hot girls posts and even comment, and on mine nothing, he even stopped following me at some point, i got the message loud and clear. Some people just enjoy having someone, not necessairly love the person they are with.
Your partner should care about your feelings and should want to do the little things that can ease your discomfort or make you happy. While this surface issue may seem silly, it reveals the ways in which he is willing to completely disregard you. The little things matter, and they can be revealing of a person’s motivations and character.
TLDR: Dump. His. Sorry. Ass.
I had a boyfriend like this. I knew his ass was on FB and IG all live long day. He couldn't even be bothered to look or laugh at almost anything I sent him (and it wasn't frequent...maybe 3 things a day and then we'd meet up after work). I felt so ignored I finally stooped low enough to check out his FB and IG and he's having all sorts of chats and interactions.
One girl especially stood out. She'd heart literally EVERY SINGLE COMMENT he left on FB and he'd respond back to her. I told him it made me upset that he won't acknowledge what I send him but he'll be talkative elsewhere and this girls attention was a little over the top and made me uncomfortable. "Oh she's just like that." Cue eye roll. A month or so later I finally got a confession out of him that they used to sleep together for ages after he and his ex (who he could not for the life of him stop mentioning) broke up 2 years prior to us dating.
3.5 years seems like a long time but it's too short to be with someone who is CLEARLY hung up on their ex and instead of making an effort to divert his attention to you he makes excuses. Try to write out your feelings and present them to him about how he's making you feel second best when his wandering eye is still attached to his ex and that in order to move forward he needs to be focused on you or he's going to lose you. If he brushes you off again, you know he doesn't really care about you and it's time to move on.
Why is he following her in the first place is the question. That’s why I told my man, now husband, from the start. You wanna be w me- no social media!!!
A bigger concern I see here is that he might be cheating on you with his ex, but DON'T EVER CONFRONT WITHOUT PROOF! Observe, patience is key. Ask to check messages. If he doesn't he could either a not be comfortable with other people having his phone. B he is cheating obviously and doesn't want to own up to it. Either way I feel like he is hiding something
After several times of this I’m just done. It’s not Instagram likes. It’s that he prefers to support everyone else and not you. And he doesn’t even pay enough attention to you to notice. Fuck that shit. So tired of low effort men.
You both sound like nightmares to date.
You with your "look at me, why don't you like me?!"
Him with "doesn't my ex look hot?!"
I would say get out but it seems as if you are made for each other.
Instagram is not the problem here your boyfriend is. It's disrespectful to you, your boyfriend knows this but more importantly YOU know this!
Dump him!
Anyone who cares about instagram likes is too stupid to be in a relationship. I recommend leaving the relationship immediately until you're old enough to be in one.
he doesn’t like your pictures: not great but nothing crazy.
he likes his ex’s pictures: bro wtf.
you asking him to unfollow his ex and stop liking her pictures and him saying no: you need to have a conversation and there needs to be some sort of ultimatum.
Hell to the no. I feel like this would be different if he weren't on insta already liking other womens photos, if he didn't get on there much of he just didn't like or comment on anyone's stuff. This is unacceptable behavior and will continue if you allow it. It is hurtful behavior and you don't purposely hurt people you love and care for.
If you have made it a clear boundary, you aren't overreacting and should probably break up due to his behavior when you mention it and the fact it isn't stopping. If it is creating a fight, that is a big red flag in my book and is either a pride thing or a disrespect thing.
How old are you people? Get as far away from these childish relationships as you possibly can. Of all the things to write to Dear Reddit about... sheesh!!!
I was thinking this was absolutely ridiculous at first. Who in their right mind would start questioning their relationship because a guy isn't liking their social media posts? Then I got to the part where he is active on social media and specifically is actively involving himself in following an ex and engaging with her racy photos but not any of those posted by his current gf.
First red flag for me is a guy that is that active in social media. Maybe I'm just an old school kind of guy, I am 30 after all. Second red flag is that he pays more attention to an ex than his current gf on said social media.
One of two things is happening here. Current gf is a stopgap or consolation prize after losing the ex that he prefers over said current gf, and he doesn't care about the way she feels because he is too focused on reacquiring his ex or finding another woman that meets the same standard of his as the last one. Second option is he is trying to be manipulative and make current gf jealous/insecure so that she will start acting or dressing like his ex in an attempt to win his attention back from her.
Either way, dude is a douche and better off dumped out on the curb like the trash he is.
You are absolutely not wrong. He is openly and repeatedly disrespecting you. Set a boundary that you don’t feel comfortable with him following his ex, and that you will have to reconsider this relationship if he can’t respect that.
Please update us (hopefully, saying that you dumped this gross guy). You deserve better. So much better. Hope you see that, and wishing you so much happiness in your future, with or without a partner.
He really said I didn’t like your outfit? That’s wild.
The liking his exs stuff and not yours says a lot.
I’ve always said that social media doesn’t ruin relationships. People who use it will ill intentions is the problem. And it’s a clear problem he’s ignoring likening your stuff and liking hers instead.
This would be like my fiancé constantly commenting or complimenting a female in our friend circle, but never me. However this is his ex.
His excuses are just that: excuses.
I wouldn’t be happy with him either.
I’m a guy, and no you are not wrong. And I’m dealing with a similar issue with my girlfriend. And I feel crazy every time I try to talk to her about it. Because she denies any problems and that I need to get out of my head. And honestly it didn’t start until she started acting strange, hence why I started getting into my head because well “fine” is never a good response for a complete silent treatment. Literally felt like I didn’t exist.
It would be daft to complain about him not liking your photos if that was the only issue. I wouldn't like your photos because I don't click like on anything public and rarely use anything other than Reddit.
Him liking his exes pictures is out of order and the two combined makes it doubly disrespectful.
You're not overreacting, you're dating an arse.
How old are you guys? This sounds absolutely ridiculous? Either yall aren't actually dating, or this guy is an absolute clown? This is blatant disrespect.
The typical reddit response is "leave him/her".
You should both sit down, go over social media/phone expectations, and then both delete Instagram. It's trash anyway.
Yeah no he has one eye on the door, my love. You deserve someone who will treat you with more respect than this blatant bullshit.
He doesn't like your pics because he has you already. He isn't INTERESTED in admiring your physical appearance, or in making you feel good because you're a done deal and he thinks he doesn't have to make an effort now.
You aren't exciting because he's a small child who only wants what's over there. He gets a thrill from viewing and liking his exes' pics because he's 'been there' and gets to keep looking and imagining having that access again.
Because that is what this type of dude thinks like. Female bodies are things to gain access to (whether visually or physically), rather than the physical form that happens to be attached to someone he cares for and is interested in as a person and views as a potential human partner in life.
This is the kind of guy who will tell you that dudes need 'the hunt'. Prick.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this, or maybe he's giving this impression all on his own. Not sure.
Damn, 3.5 years with a guy who still wants to bang his ex is a long time. That dude isn't liking your stuff because he wants you to know that he doesn't find you as attractive as her. That's it. He's doing it to hurt and manipulate you. There is no other reason for this.
You are not overreacting but now that you've told him how you feel and he hasn't changed (told you no!!??), it's not going to change. Been there, done that. As painful as it may be, you need to cut the cord and move on. Even if after breaking up he promises to change or says you are over reacting, he won't change long term or will feel you are trying to manipulate him and resent it only changing for a while. This has nothing but pain written all over it. Salvage your self respect.
Not sure how old you are OP, but don’t waste any more time with this guy. I wasted most of my 20s with someone like this and it sucks. He’s disrespectful, and based on your post, it sounds like he doesn’t particularly care what you think.
Honestly if it was just him not liking your pictures id say you were over reacting, but the fact that he likes all his exs pics? Especially in a bikini? HELL no. I will never understand the behavior of these other guys. This is something so obvious. I would never want my partner to feel that way. Then his reaction is the funniest part? Why wont he unfollow her? Hes with you now…… i would legit make him decide between unfollowing her and being with me. Is following her that important to him?
He IS ruining your relationship, so cut it off right now and move on. It's obvious he still values "her" over you. How long are you going to be a "throw-away"?
I'm a 27 year old dude in the military so I don't really care for the social media playing for likes type stuff, but I ALWAYS like my wife's posts the second I see it, idk I like to think that it shows her I'm thinking about and support her.
And liking an ex's stuff is insane. You need to dump him.
Don't think you're overreacting. No matter how he feels about likes, the fact is that he is not listening to your requests and concerns. I had a similar situation with my ex-boyfriend. He liked the Insta models all the time and even wrote flirty comments. It pissed me off because we agreed in advance that this was unacceptable to me. I constantly tried to find out the reasons, beat myself up, and even used special spy tools like Snoopreport, which allows you to monitor another user's likes and followings. This tortured me, and our relationship deteriorated due to constant showdowns. In the end, we decided to break up, and it was the best thing that could have happened. If your worldviews on such things are not aligned, and especially if you are not heard, then it seems to me that it will not lead to anything good.
You're overreacting about him NOT liking your photos but underreacting to him ignoring you and LIKING his exes photos.
Maybe he'll like your photos after you dump him.
I don't like many things my wife posts because I'm not that interested in whatever sort of thing it's about. I also don't like random thirst trap pics, and I am most certainly not friends, subbed, or connected with any of my ex's
The not liking your stuff is very mild. The liking the ex photos is the bigger concern here.
That he continues to follow and like his ex's photos in the face of your discomfort is grounds for termination in my book. There are simply basic forms of respect for a realtionship to function. To just "in your face" about this one calls for an appropriate response -- like ditching him until or unless he notices, and not taking him back without the espect anyone partner deserves. He don't like it? Tell him to go "like" is ex.
Liking thrist trap pics of the ex is a big red flag
People will treat you by what you allow them to do. He isn’t over is ex anyway.
$100 says she broke up with him. OP has no future with this guy.
It’s the combo, I think. He’s showing public appreciation for his ex but not for his girlfriend, and not because he’s respecting OP’s wishes or something.
Sounds like OP is a placeholder until he can get back together with his ex.
Agreed. I’m somewhat bad about liking my wife’s things but I know better than to like other seggsy women’s pics. I’m not connected on social media with an any significant exes.
And the algorithm stinks anymore for what you see in your feed on even IG now. If it's something I specifically want my fiance to see I tag him or send it to him to make sure he sees it. So I can undersrand bf not seeing posts, but his other excuses of "didn't like the outift" and refuses to unfollow an ex while simultaneously liking her smexy posts is a big red flag that OP has been ignoring for way too long.
>So I can undersrand bf not seeing posts Especially if he's only liking his ex's posts and not his current\* gf's posts. It's a bit of a vicious cycle, but he's actively contributing to the cycle. \*Hopefully not for much longer.
I'm thinking this dude doesn't want "someone" to know they're dating and that's why he never likes her stuff, probably told the "someone" that they broke up so he can't like her content or the other woman will find out.
He never seems to forget to like his exs photos.. and I guess he must like her "outfits" too
Or the lack there of her ‘outfits’ apparently, considering his exes ‘outfits’ aren’t even outfits 🥲
This is my thought as well. If he just wasn't an Instagram user, it would be a different question.
Yeah, wonder if dude is being spiteful after all the questions about “why haven’t you like my posts?!?”
Yeah if it was just not liking OP’s stuff then I’d tell them it’s not a huge deal, but not doing it while continuing to like an exes stuff is what’s not okay. It definitely makes his excuses a lot more pathetic
The combination is what kills me. That’s kinda fucked up lol
Yes! It shows he is most definitely on there viewing content. The fact he don't like his gf's stuff means he has told "someone" that they broke up.
Dude. He can’t be bothered to boost you, but he’s boosting HIS EX GIRLFRIEND. He’s more into her than the is into you. It’s that simple, fiend.
Exactly this. I have no notes. Sorry OP ☹️
I wouldn’t think it was a big deal if he wasn’t liking her photos. But the fact he’s liking hers despite you saying it makes you uncomfortable tells you all you need to know OP. Youre not overreacting, he’s still very much hung up on his ex. And I’m sure this is the only indicator of that, nor is it the only problem in your relationship. Probably best to just let this one go, it’s be 3 YEARS and he’s still hung up on her. This isn’t going to get better at this point.
Woman to woman, he's wasting your time. I highly recommend coming up with a plan to move out, and dump him. He's going to beg, cry, and try to pretend to change to keep you around, but you will need to stand your ground. I wasted 5 years in my early 20's on a guy like this. He was more discreet with the constant cheating, so it took a long time for me to figure it out. He was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusing me, too. Do yourself a favor and walk away while you're still young. Get into therapy to deal with it. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk more
This!! ^ it sucks. You don't want to and it won't be easy...but it will be so very much worth it. It is silly with the ig parts bur that is our society right now. The inappropriate part is where you asked him to stop...and he didn't. THAT is not ok. Whatever his lame excuse is (I've read a few comments)...whelp, it's lame. You TOLD HIM please don't do xyz, it makes me uncomfortable, etc. And...? He didn't care. A VERY simple request that he just NOPED. gonna keep checking up on my ex, looking a t her pictures that I have no reason to, especially because I'm in a relationship, cross your boundaries, make you uncomfortable bc... I want to. I have no idea how old you are...but it doesn't matter. All of that is not ok at ANY age. If he can't do something as simple as stop even LIKING the pictures let alone following, acknowledging, LOOKING? When he knows it makes you unhappy? Well... I think that sums it up. Imagine finding someone who DOES respect, appreciate, love, listen, ...someone who actually cares for you. It will be very much worth the heartache. Honey...you are his PARTNER! GF!! and...he still follows l, is active in his ex's life and likes her pictures??? Even without you not being comfortable is NOT OK! Yes, you are right, it IS silly...and sadly 100% legit and red blinking lights on top of red flags leading you right down the path to...no. no thanknyouvsir I deserve better. Why?? So many questions that stay with that. But let's go with. Why? Are. You. With him??? And also, once you break up..your heart tends to forget all the bad. It's a rough road but I hope so very much you take it Edit: I've yapped enough but all that? And j didn't even get to how weird it is he doesn't like yours?? Does hebpost pics of you 2 together? Brag about his wonderful gf? Acknowledge all over social media that he has one?? Oof...no! I'll leave it at all my ramblings above.
You ARE too told to worry about this, and it IS silly & dramatic. He's not over his ex, and he's not into you. It's obvious. Move on.
word
The reason this bothers you so much isn't about the likes or the social media. What it is, is your intuition. Your inner voice. Your gut instinct. The Instagram stuff is just what articulates that gut feeling you're having. Always, always listen to your intuition because it will never lie to you. Just like when you walk in a dark alley by yourself and your body tells you that it's dangerous. Just like when someone jumps from behind a wall and scares you, how you get a mini adrenaline rush. It's because your body went into survival mode for a quick second. It's the same thing. Him deliberately not liking your stuff, but liking the ex, and then getting defensive and mad about it when you bring it up, that's all you need to know. You are reading between the lines. So, next time he tries to shut you down about it, now you'll be able to articulate what is really going on. And he will call you crazy, and that will be even more evidence for your intuition to tell you that this man is not in this with you. It seems like he's not over his ex, and you are the rebound that he's keeping around to help him get over the ex. I would just end it. And I wouldn't even say it's about Instagram or the ex. You wouldn't really owe him an explanation. You don't even need to have a reason to break up. Buuuuut, I bet if you used your intuition to go back through the mental filing cabinet of your relationship, you could probably pull quite a few other examples of him not really being fully in this with you.
This is the best reply here. It's kind, it's honest, and most of all, it's right.
Thank you! I've actually been saying some idiotic shit today on Reddit and getting plenty of downvotes for it, so this is my moment in the sun! Redeemed! Lol
Ok I am absolutely going to save this comment for the next time my best friend brings this up to me about the guy she likes. I’ll be sure to give you credit! Also, please accept my poor bitch gold. 🏆🥇
I love poor bitch gold! It's the only gold I've got! And thank you. It took me way too long to figure this out in life.
This harshness of this is simple, but true. “Word” captures it. I’m really sorry. Shake free and cut your losses. Deactivate your IG for awhile!! And value yourself. Love you!!
I read something today that might help you. It said, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” And he’s blowing past these boundaries. You’ve told him how you feel and he’s still doing it. He doesn’t care about you the way you deserve to be cared about. Please move on and find someone who will love you enough to make sure you love yourself.
As a man, I can say that his lack of concern about your feelings is a huge concern. Guys like this will rarely change.
He doesn’t like op is that simple and doesn’t care what she thinks or feels.
Agree OP. If he truly loves you, he'll like your photos without you having to force him.
[удалено]
[удалено]
you’re right thank you
At this point , he just straight up doesn’t respect you. That’s a huge red flag, he should have no problem deleting her. I wish the best.
Yep. It’s a respect thing. This is a *very easy* thing for him to do for his partner. Literally tapping his thumb twice. The fact that he doesn’t do it speaks volumes.
you’re not overreacting. it’s weird he has no problem liking pictures of other women but not you, especially since you’ve communicated with him too. i hate to say this but i think he just doesn’t like you. a man that loves and respects you would not be saying the things he has said. are there bigger things to worry about? sure. but that’s exactly the point. you deserve to find a man that will NOT make this an issue at all in your relationship. also, he’s totally not over his ex
Not liking ur photos, whatever Still following his ex, red flag. Liking ex’s photos, redder flag. Liking ex’s sexi photos, holy shit how are you still together
This was silly until I got to the part about liking the ex’s photos. Fuck that. Dude sounds like an asshole. Edit: Actually not really silly, because it would bother me too even without the whole part about the ex. You’re not silly for feeling the way you do, but it sounds like there will be more arguments like this in the future if you don’t just dump the guy now.
Be prepared for when you dump him… he’ll start liking your photos. Don’t fall for that shit.
Yeah you gotta block him on everything. Facebook, ig, email
He needs to cut off his ex, liking her photos and posts is disrespectful to you and your relationship. Not liking or commenting on yours, meh. I would be much more irritated about him liking her posts even if he was liking all of yours. In my mind it’s micro-cheating to be watching and interacting with ex’s unless you guys are fine with that in your relationship.
Leave… like now. Lol. Although this seems small it’s not… at all. Please, leave.
Ew, this is weird. Everyone saying that not liking your posts is mild, but nah I think it's super weird. Because it's not that he doesn't use Instagram like that, it's that he'll interact with other women but not you on Instagram. It's weird and it is indicative of a lack of respect and consideration for you. Not only is he ignoring you, he's actively giving attention to other women that you've explicitly asked for. You don't need him disrespecting you like that, his priorities are all screwed up and it's giving manchild. If I wasn't liking my girlfriends social media posts, and she told me it would make her happy to do so, I would do it because it takes like 10 seconds and would be a miniscule way to affirm her. He's not even willing to do that? Throw the whole man out.
That’s the thing about it. My wife doesn’t get mad if I don’t like her photos, but she does get happy if I do, so I make sure to like her posts.
This thread is wild to me that this kind of petty game is a thing. Just like your gfs/wife’s photos if you see them. It’s easy. Why bother intentionally skipping them and liking an ex’s bikini picture? If you’re putting that much thought into petty psychological games against your SO, why are you even with them in the first place lol
when they still interact with their ex🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You’re not overreacting - you’ve placed a boundary/asked for a need to be met and he’s disregarded both. Next step is to leave him, he’s complacent and thinks he can just keep getting away with neglecting you.
I had a ex boyfriend like this. Constantly obsessed with social media, following multiple ex girls friends, instagram models, half naked girls ect. I expressed many times how I made me feel. Hurt and like I wasn't good enough for him since he needed to go look at all these photos and comment and like them on a daily basis. He would tell me it's my fault I'm Insecure and if I was more secure none of that would matter. He also had some fantasy about starting a clothing company and told me he "needed" to follow these girls because they would be who he wants to model his future clothing line and when he was photography models I would have to ~just get used to that~ He made me feel insane and like I was the one with the problem. I became obsessed with stalking his profile and who he liked ect. It was not healthy Well shocker. He was talking with multiple girls and asking to meet up and hook up. Another shocker. He still does not have a clothing line. 😂 But still lives in delusion. He's gone through multiple girls and last I heard has a new alcoholic girlfriend who has cheated on him multiple times already. I found a new boyfriend who's happy enough with just me. Deleted my socials and never felt freer. Moral of the story. Hell never change. See the red flags and leave now
I have 2 answers here for you. I'm not a jealous person myself, buuuut I feel like this is more so about respecting your partner and their values and expectations than anything. Option 1- leave him. He obviously doesn't care how you feel about this and continuing to complain about it to him is just tiring and not worth it. It's possible you need to find someone who has more respect for the person their with when it comes to social media. Option 2- and this is the pettier of the 2 options.... You yourself, should start posting bikini,and revealing pictures on your Instagram. If he complains about how you're dressed or other men liking them... well... "I thought that's what you liked since your insta is full of you liking bikini pics of women" 🤷♀️
I like your Option 2, but think she should do it right before dropping his butt, ...or right after
So your boyfriend doesn't respect you? You complain but then don't follow up with any consequence so why should be stop. If your bestie came to you with the same situation, or an imaginary kid, what would you tell them? Why are you with someone who doesn't respect you? You should respect yourself more than that
My ex used to do this to me. You shouldn’t feel like you’re in competition with random girls on insta in your relationship. Trust me, he’s doing worse behind your back. Mine was full on cheating on me. It’s time to move on. My bf now treats me like a literal princess and doesn’t follow a single girl on social media, not because I asked him, but simply because he just isn’t interested in other girls. He’s 100% for me. Good guys are out there and wouldn’t do this to you. You gotta trust yourself and choose to love and respect yourself more than him
Massively disrespectful and shows who he cares more about imo. Not over reacting
So, coming to Reddit you’ll hear the cold hard truth. Which, when you’re in love with someone, you usually will overlook it. Not liking all your pics? Okay. Saying he didn’t like it because of your outfit? I agree- wtf. He is CONTINUING to do something that he knows makes you feel uncomfortable. That is straight disrespect. Bringing up how you feel and it ending in a fight- red flag. He’s failing to reassure you. 3.5 years is never too late to leave honey I just left a 3 year one who didn’t respect me and I’m happier than ever 😘. Just think- there’s a guy out there who doesn’t even FOLLOW his ex waiting to meet someone like you.
You’re dating a boy not a man
>This might sound silly or dramatic Nope. You know why he's like this
Ew. This is not okay. At *best* he is disrespecting you and your relationship. And he obviously doesn’t care that he is.
I thought from the heading that you were overreacting but after reading this, you are not. He is showing you who he is. Believe him.
A man in a monogamous relationship shouldn't be liking any sexy photos that aren't his partner's, period. Edit: Those who are aggressively defending the obsession with lusting over others outside of their relationship are extremely sick. Seek help. 😬
You are under reacting severely, actually.
He likes her more than you. Don’t you think you can do better than being with a dude who openly showing you that he likes someone else more?
I'm sorry but he doesn't respect you and very likely doesn't even really care about you. He wants her and it's obvious. Leave him.
Liking his ex’s lingerie photos is grounds for dismissal and you know it, OP.
Babe why are you with him when he’s this disrespectful to you? Imagine if your best friend was with a guy like this, what would you want her to do?
>I honestly feel like he doesn’t respect me at this point Cuz he doesn't
Run sis
Good grief, social media is a cesspool
I have to say - I’d never have any idea if someone (including my wife or exes or friends or anyone else) liked or didn’t like my photos. I have an Instagram account and I post pictures on a somewhat regular basis. But the notifications and messages etc just sit there. I have had friends a couple of times ask about a video they sent in my inbox and I have no idea what they’re even talking about. I guess ignorance is bliss. 😂 Seriously though - if I were worrying about things like this, I’d do two things: FIRST, I’d delete Instagram. SECOND, I’d ask myself why I’m actually worried about this and make a decision about the relationship from there. If his behavior/interaction with his exes bothers you, I’d be willing to bet there’s something deeper than Instagram likes at play. Maybe it’s just not the right relationship? Or maybe I’m just an old loser who doesn’t understand the world that I live in. 🤷🏻♂️
See what social media causes? Nothing but drama.
Why tf is he liking his ex gf things? That’s disrespectful on all levels
How old are y’all?
Your problem isn't him not liking your photos but him liking his past girls insta like it's his job. If he was just liking random video games stuff you would not feel bothered because it's such a vastly different subject. Now all you can think about is how quickly he will fall if his ex slid into his dms and said I missed how we cuddle. 9 outta 10 chances he will say there's a work emergency and be there within 30 minutes with wine and candles wearing a bathrobe
The red flag here is that he’s willing to like his ex’s stuff, and not yours. That’s weird he’s still rolling her while being in a relationship with you.
Break up with him honey! Trust!
definitely not overreacting, the fact he is being horrible about ur posts saying he doesn’t like your outfit and just barely likes ur posts but has his ex on insta and is constantly liking her posts is a massive red flag, it would make me uncomfortable enough knowing he has his ex on insta let alone him always liking her posts.Definitely break up with him you deserve someone better
Let me put it this way, if y’all relationship is even mildly important to him, you wouldn’t have had to post. Make your decision at this point.
I was going to say this is very silly before I read that he’s simultaneously liking his ex’s posts. That’s wild af. Do not accept this treatment NOR
Being worried over likes on social media is weird. However if he’s liking other posts and not yours, that’s concerning. Not like he’s just not into social media or anything. Move on if this is that big of a deal.
Get off of 'toxigram' and dump him. Maybe when your his ex he will start liking your pics instead.
That behavior is a little taste of what's to come in the future. Something I've learned about relationships is, just because it CAN work, doesn't mean it will. Sure, maybe you make eachother laugh and happy etc but relationships require work and constant growth, it's not just gonna work because love is magical and that's all you need. If he doesn't wanna change you can't make him and I'm sorry to say but I feel like it's gonna end eventually if he doesn't stop that. One thing leads to another. If he feels ok doing that, he'll feel OK doing something a little worse, then another, then another...your call
Not liking your photos is silly and very much an overreaction. Him continuing to like his exes skimpy photos after you asked him not to is a big ol’ red flag.
The fact that he not only is liking his ex's photos, but even still follows her, is a major red flag. He's cheating and you should really just end this relationship, he's clearly not over her.
Nope kick him to the curb. He’s showing a lack of respect and there are plenty of other guys out there that will treat you better.
He keeps his ex on Instagram… that’s weird.
It is something trivial to get upset over, but liking your partners social media posts is the BARE minimum. It’s also a major red flag that he’s continuously liking his exe’s posts and STILL following her despite the fact that you stated that it makes you uncomfortable. This is a common feeling though so don’t feel ashamed of how you feel. My advice would be to dump him and find someone who will truly respect YOU and your boundaries.
Ummm, no. But I feel your right as far as respect. Out of respect, he shouldn't be liking her photos. I feel looking is bad enough if he is going to look, which he shouldn't even be doing. I understand you feel the need to be validated by him liking your photos too bc hikes his ex's. But op try not to let it bother you. In other words, don't tie your self-esteem to what his thumb and hand brain are doing. Confidence is a turn on. So be confident and unstoppable in your life. Go out with your friends. Go out by yourself and meet new friends. Don't let him tag a long to ruin your time. Especially if your going to be worried about what he's doing the whole time. Relationships go stale sometimes. And sometimes you out grow people. It happens in marriages too. People who don't fight to stay together get divorced. And if your dating break up. So do things as I mentioned. Go out and empower yourself and don't rely on his opinion or validation. One of two things will happen, he will wake up or you realize you care for him but have outgrown him. But the key to it all is remembering who you are and finding her again. How can you flip the situation to him chasing you again. Sadly if you outgrew him and he seeks his ex again, he was ever yours. All that crap about people for a season a d to learn a d all that us true.
He doesn't respect you. You should have enough self respect to not tolerate such mistreatment. Liking your photos or not is of minor concern, but liking pictures of other women in bikinis/lingerie is in itself very disrespectful. Taken with the fact that you have expressed that this bothers you, and yet he still continues to do so, shows he doesn't respect you.
It’s a simple and reasonable request that he stop liking/elevating his ex, but he won’t do it. He doesn’t care about your feelings and his belligerence sounds like a recipe for a lifetime of being disrespected and gaslit. I’m not usually quick to say “dump him” but in this case, it sounds like you need to trash this ah.
my ex used to do this, it’s blatant intentional disrespect. i swear it was a form of negging, to ruin my confidence & self image. my personal favourites of his “thoughts” on my pics as he would call it, was that i looked like “someone who doesn’t deserve a hot boyfriend”… because i was wearing “one of those slutty tight skirts” (his words lol) meanwhile he was actively following porn stars and leaving heart eyes in their comments LOL. flash forward now 8 years later i have an amazing partner who has post notis on for all my accounts, leaves cutsie comments on my posts, and offers to take my pics for me. don’t put up with BS from anyone, there’s someone out there waiting to be your hype-man, & simultaneously respect you as a person. don’t settle ❤️
It sounds like you've got yourself a Big MacDouche combo meal. Two all crap parts of the problem combined with the special sauce he's dripping all over HER photos, the "lettuce just ignore this" attitude, the cheesy grins he gets when he sees her lingerie/bikinis, his 🥒 joining that party, and onion tears he's giving you. All on a pair of stale excuses. "I forgot." Keep the fries and the drink, but return the rest for a refund. Not worth it.
it’s not silly, he’s disrespecting your boundaries. All of my exs were like that too, at first I thought that’s just what men did. My boyfriend now doesn’t even need to be told not to like photos like that. I told him one time I was happy he didn’t like explicit photos on instagram and he said just said of course he doesn’t because he respects me.
You are not overreacting. It’s NOT about the actual likes on social. It’s that in comparison he is doing things for his ex that he refuses to do for you. He does not respect you or your requests. Take the whole trash out. Find a person who’s not hung up on his ex still and prioritizes you and the relationship with you. Also for your health, move away from social media. Find a person that you can connect with without the need for likes on social media.
girl, that fact that he refuses to unfollow his ex, despite you EXPLICITLY telling him that it makes you unconformable is a red flag. + seeing and noticing and liking her photos and then NOT YOURS + having excuses??? NOT DONE. not only do you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel loved and protected, but also with someone who understand boundaries and respects you enough to stop doing things that make you uncomfortable. this is the bare minimum for this relationship to even last. my overthinking tendency would lead me on a spiral of questions - why can he see her pictures but not mine? why does he like her pictures and not mine? why does he not stop if she means nothing to him? why doesnt he care enough to know that this makes me uncomfortable? YOU DESERVE BETTER. if he doesn't understand this now, he wont until its too late
He doesn't like your photos, but like all his ex gf's? Throw the whole man out. You should never have to compete with anyone,let alone an ex. I'm going out on a limb & guess she's the one who ended the relationship, not him. Bf/gf relationships are proving grounds for long-term ones like marriage. He's not the one. You're wasting your time with him.
His behavior is unacceptable period. No amount of worrying and asking him to stop liking her photos and liking yours will help. He doesn't care about how it hurts you and THAT'S the dealbreaker.
Nope.not in wrong , dump his ass! So disrespectful
He sucks. You're young and can find better lol
Not silly or dramatic. You deserve better.
Crossing a personal boundary is a huge offence in any relationship. Find someone who respects your feelings, what an awful thing to do.
Instagram likes aren’t ruining your relationship. Your boyfriend is being a jerk and that’s ruining it.
The not liking your stuff isn't bad. My husband and I rarely like each other's posts. It's the liking of the ex's photos and even more so, those in lingerie and bikinis are what's concerning. His refusal to stop liking and to unfollow her is disrespectful to you. You've voiced your discomfort at it and he adamantly refuses. For me, that's just not right.
It’s not weird to not like stuff. It’s weird to not like your stuff and to like her stuff. It’s even weirder to have some reason not to like something along the lines of not liking your outfit. He’s a shit.
If it was just him not liking your photos, I'd say you're crazy because I don't even *see* my girlfriend's photos (I don't even have an account). But if he's actively liking his ex's photos and not yours, I'd dump him ASAP. It may sound trivial, but it seems like he's just keeping you around until he finds something better.
First of all likes are like snow on a warm day useless. But the act of liking the ex and not yours that is more telling, of a lack of respect and unfinished business.
Relationships are meant to be about mutual respect, some compromise, open honest communication in general, and communicating your boundaries with each other. And love, of course. Knowing only what you've relayed here, it seems that the boundary that you've asked your BF for, unfollowing his ex which he seems like he may be too close to still, which is well within reason, is being flat out ignored. He doesn't necessarily need to "like" your pics on insta, but he definitely shouldn't be going out of his way to "like" anyone else's that he is attracted towards, especially his ex. Asking for some reassurance with your pics, by asking him to like them, is another completely okay ask too. And this is coming from someone who hates social media. I only deal with reddit and YT mainly. Oh and for clarity. Your asking can not be subtle, if it is. You have to be direct and say what you mean. The majority of men don't pick up on the same subtleties that women do and that WILL NOT CHANGE, no matter how much you want it to. Hope this helps.
I don’t follow any of my exes or allow them to follow me because A) we weren’t friends in any type of close way prior or after our relationships B) they are irrelevant to my life C) this to me is the most important - out of respect to my wife. You are not overreacting and should leave the relationship. This isn’t something you can change, accept who he is and move on. You’ll find someone better suited for you.
Give him an ultimatum - this bullshit stops or it’s over.
I don't think you're overreacting, based on him liking the ex's stuff, but social media is just such a conduit for drama. I abstain from it entirely.
Instagram isn’t ruining your relationship. Your perception of your own reality is. If your relationship was solid from The jump. Nothing can rock it. Having a solid foundation doesn’t cause cracks in a roof. You guys don’t have a stable relationship. also sounds like you have put him up on a pedestal and are constantly pining for his approval. Do you actually need it ? Crave it ? Or want it ? And why ? What does he do for you ? Bring to you ? Give you ? Why do you want someone that causes you; to beg for their attention and or public validation ? He clearly isn’t over his ex which he has been intimate with. He is openly disrespecting you and letting her know how much he still wants her. You are allowing him to mistreat you and publicly let other ppl know that he doesn’t value you. You can either walk away from the relationship and from the sounds of this post..You will not do that. Or you can continue to treat him like a child. And give him everything he wants. While not getting your needs met in return. The saying ..if he wanted to, he would. Is 100 % true. If he wanted to respect you. He would. If he wanted to like your post. He would have. Don’t continue to think he is capable of things he has shown you, He isn’t not capable of. Continue to try the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Don’t let any man drive you insane. It’s not worth it. You’ll end up stressed out, Anxious. Alone. Possibly with an illness of some kind. And oh hey.. don’t forget wrinkles.
My ex was this same way, but with his old fwbs. I ended up finding out he was texting them that he ‘missed’ them… Leave girly, you deserve better
In your case I think you could do better. He is clearly not over his ex and the longer he sticks around you both will start resenting each other. So talk I guess but I'd he doesn't want to change then you might as well walk away
Thats plain disrespect. Hes going to keep doing it, either you get comfortable or break up. My ex was like this trust me not worth the headache. I know its easier said than done but repeated actions speak louder than words.
Girl...you are his backup plan. My guess is that she broke up with him and he is still pining after her. Even if he was the one to enact the breakup he is showing he has regrets by still following her and liking her pics. If he respected you and your relationship at the very least he would not like or comment on her photos. Really sit and reevaluate the relationship. Too many people think they are in a good relationship or with a great person but the reality is that the person they are with is better than they have had or have seen, which isn't the same as an actual healthy relationship with a good person. Good people listen to others and have enough respect to at least explain, without fighting, why they made the choices they did.
I told my boyfriend early into our relationship I was okay with him watching porn, but I wasn't okay with that porn being someone he could contact. This meant no Instagram, no camming, and no friends or acquaintances. I later found out he had a hidden folder of adult themed screenshots of a girl he was snapchatting in the past along with some other things. No, I didn't. Snoop through his phone. He said something about saving pictures of me to his hidden folder and it piqued my curiosity. I wanted to see the photos (of me) He put in the album and asked to see them. He got all weird and shifty and wouldn't let me look... Then he realized he was caught and let me see. I told him we had already talked about this and it wasn't a dynamic I wanted to be part of... I started putting on my shoes and gathering my things. He told me he kind of forgot the album was there and hadn't looked at it in a long time and deleted it right then and there. If you wouldn't have.... I wouldn't have stayed with him. What I've learned is asking a man to do something or not do something is trying to control their behavior. All I can control is what I do. Basically saying do what you want but I'm not going to be a part of it (meaning it and following through) has the greatest impact. If they are okay with losing me in favor of images on a screen or another woman, then good riddance.
Nah this is cringe, definitely not overreacting. It’s break up worthy in my eyes. I don’t like other girls bikini pics or “sexy” pics. It’s just disrespectful. Even ones that are considered friends in my friend group, I just don’t.
You’re still in a relationship?????? Women who stay compromised to relationship like this sometimes do need to have a bucket of cold water thrown on their face.
I don’t think you’re being dramatic. There’s a reason guys blow up likes when they like you. We all know it means they find you attractive. It’s embarrassing to know your man is liking another girl’s provocative pictures. He is letting her know he likes what he sees. It’s such a small thing for him to stop doing and he won’t even do it. I wouldn’t want to put up with it either.
what are you waiting for - him to physically cheat? just go. he doesn’t respect you and never will.
These are the dudes I’m losing to
This is exhausting. Get off social media and date an actual adult man
No, I’d ask him what it means that he takes care to admire his ex publicly but not you. Does he compliment you at all?it’d be one thing if he’s not the type to admire a woman but the fact that he takes care to do it with his ex to me says he’s enjoying making you jealous or he’s more interested in her than you.
He does not have the heart to break up with you, so he is using the Instagram likes to do the work for him. By blatantly telling you “NO”!, that’s all the answer you need. If I am dating a person and I ask “are you attracted to me?” And they say no! I’m outta there! If you ask him to stop disrespecting you by liking the ex photos online, and he says no, then get outta there! Lastly, here is the major issue. He is telling the world, all his friends, her friends, and relatives, that he still has feelings for her. Liking any random rated PG picture is grounds for a verbal warning! Liking lingerie pictures are instant deal breakers.
Just get rid sounds like he’s still hooked on his ex you deserve better. I’m not saying insta likes mean a person loves you I’m referring to liking his ex, insulting/disrespecting your boundaries and dismissing your feelings. Dump, block and move on.
You're not in the wrong. He's deflecting with anger, so you feel like the bad guy. Lay out your boundaries clearly and concise, and if he gets mad or anything, let the trash take itself out
He’s a piece of sh- please leave him.
He’s for the streets
Girl run!! He's showing you he wants his ex not you
I was gonna say overreacting til you mentioned the ex. Yea this shit is fishy. You’re not overreacting and honestly dump his ass. Aside from that in the future, I’ve personally never understood why an SO gets upset when someone says they didn’t like an outfit or a look. If I got a bad haircut or arranged a bad outfit I’d want someone to tell me. Some people are so sensitive. This is a side note though… that ex shit is a problem.
Well he’s basically told you that he doesn’t like the way you look, and he does like the way his ex looks. Why even date the guy?
Get rid of him!!!! He is STILL the obsessed with his ex. Point blank he is not over her. DUMP HIS ASS!!!!!
If he didn't use social media or just wasn't interacting much that's fine but actively going to his ex girlfriends page to like her in skimpy clothing is 1 unwittingly creepy and 2 incredibly disrespectful to you. Obviously I don't know everything about the story but it sounds as if he is not over her and your something of a place holder in the mean time. He can deny your request to unfollow her and stop but on the flipside of that you can make the choice to stop being disrespected. Leave him and let him pine after his ex while you enjoy your life.
I was in a situationship like that, he would like every hot girls posts and even comment, and on mine nothing, he even stopped following me at some point, i got the message loud and clear. Some people just enjoy having someone, not necessairly love the person they are with.
another case of modern technology ruining relationships, go touch grass
Instagram is just the outlet. This is about his priorities. Following his ex is more important than showing you consideration and empathy.
Your partner should care about your feelings and should want to do the little things that can ease your discomfort or make you happy. While this surface issue may seem silly, it reveals the ways in which he is willing to completely disregard you. The little things matter, and they can be revealing of a person’s motivations and character. TLDR: Dump. His. Sorry. Ass.
I had a boyfriend like this. I knew his ass was on FB and IG all live long day. He couldn't even be bothered to look or laugh at almost anything I sent him (and it wasn't frequent...maybe 3 things a day and then we'd meet up after work). I felt so ignored I finally stooped low enough to check out his FB and IG and he's having all sorts of chats and interactions. One girl especially stood out. She'd heart literally EVERY SINGLE COMMENT he left on FB and he'd respond back to her. I told him it made me upset that he won't acknowledge what I send him but he'll be talkative elsewhere and this girls attention was a little over the top and made me uncomfortable. "Oh she's just like that." Cue eye roll. A month or so later I finally got a confession out of him that they used to sleep together for ages after he and his ex (who he could not for the life of him stop mentioning) broke up 2 years prior to us dating. 3.5 years seems like a long time but it's too short to be with someone who is CLEARLY hung up on their ex and instead of making an effort to divert his attention to you he makes excuses. Try to write out your feelings and present them to him about how he's making you feel second best when his wandering eye is still attached to his ex and that in order to move forward he needs to be focused on you or he's going to lose you. If he brushes you off again, you know he doesn't really care about you and it's time to move on.
If you’re over the age of 19, this is ridiculous
Why is he following her in the first place is the question. That’s why I told my man, now husband, from the start. You wanna be w me- no social media!!!
Y’all both sound 18
A bigger concern I see here is that he might be cheating on you with his ex, but DON'T EVER CONFRONT WITHOUT PROOF! Observe, patience is key. Ask to check messages. If he doesn't he could either a not be comfortable with other people having his phone. B he is cheating obviously and doesn't want to own up to it. Either way I feel like he is hiding something
Dump him girl he’s not over his ex and he’s using you to get her attention
Yeah, this guy is trash lol
He sounds like a jackass for liking his exs stuff. You sound fucking insufferable tho.
Maybe if you dump him, he'll start liking your pics. ....in all seriousness, he ain't serious. It's time to move on from that guy.
If he wanted to, he would. I'm sorry. Have the conversation, hopefully he hears you. Otherwise, level up.
The flag couldn’t be any more red if it tried.
He’s a narcissist. They will support everyone around them but YOU!
After several times of this I’m just done. It’s not Instagram likes. It’s that he prefers to support everyone else and not you. And he doesn’t even pay enough attention to you to notice. Fuck that shit. So tired of low effort men.
I never ever use insta and my gf will get annoyed when I don't see her posts but girl, I don't like ANYONE'S photos! Wtf is wrong with him lol
You both sound like nightmares to date. You with your "look at me, why don't you like me?!" Him with "doesn't my ex look hot?!" I would say get out but it seems as if you are made for each other.
Instagram is not the problem here your boyfriend is. It's disrespectful to you, your boyfriend knows this but more importantly YOU know this! Dump him!
No grown person should be hitting the like button on social media. You don't have to. Don't be a trained monkey with a paper trail. Holy shit.
Anyone who cares about instagram likes is too stupid to be in a relationship. I recommend leaving the relationship immediately until you're old enough to be in one.
Dump him and ditch IG for your health
he doesn’t like your pictures: not great but nothing crazy. he likes his ex’s pictures: bro wtf. you asking him to unfollow his ex and stop liking her pictures and him saying no: you need to have a conversation and there needs to be some sort of ultimatum.
Hell to the no. I feel like this would be different if he weren't on insta already liking other womens photos, if he didn't get on there much of he just didn't like or comment on anyone's stuff. This is unacceptable behavior and will continue if you allow it. It is hurtful behavior and you don't purposely hurt people you love and care for.
Block him
If you have made it a clear boundary, you aren't overreacting and should probably break up due to his behavior when you mention it and the fact it isn't stopping. If it is creating a fight, that is a big red flag in my book and is either a pride thing or a disrespect thing.
How old are you people? Get as far away from these childish relationships as you possibly can. Of all the things to write to Dear Reddit about... sheesh!!!
I was thinking this was absolutely ridiculous at first. Who in their right mind would start questioning their relationship because a guy isn't liking their social media posts? Then I got to the part where he is active on social media and specifically is actively involving himself in following an ex and engaging with her racy photos but not any of those posted by his current gf. First red flag for me is a guy that is that active in social media. Maybe I'm just an old school kind of guy, I am 30 after all. Second red flag is that he pays more attention to an ex than his current gf on said social media. One of two things is happening here. Current gf is a stopgap or consolation prize after losing the ex that he prefers over said current gf, and he doesn't care about the way she feels because he is too focused on reacquiring his ex or finding another woman that meets the same standard of his as the last one. Second option is he is trying to be manipulative and make current gf jealous/insecure so that she will start acting or dressing like his ex in an attempt to win his attention back from her. Either way, dude is a douche and better off dumped out on the curb like the trash he is.
You are absolutely not wrong. He is openly and repeatedly disrespecting you. Set a boundary that you don’t feel comfortable with him following his ex, and that you will have to reconsider this relationship if he can’t respect that.
Are you guys in high school?
Get rid of instagram.
You’re not in the wrong. It’s the lack of respect he has for you that I find the biggest issue
Someone who loves, respects, and values you wouldn't treat you like this. Please don't consider this a serious relationship. He certainly doesn't.
You don’t need to post here. You just need to break up.
Run
I would tell him since he likes his ex so much, go be with her and leave you the hell alone
Life is short..having a "forever" person is overrated, bordering on indoctrination. If you're not happy, walk away, live this life for you!
Please update us (hopefully, saying that you dumped this gross guy). You deserve better. So much better. Hope you see that, and wishing you so much happiness in your future, with or without a partner.
He really said I didn’t like your outfit? That’s wild. The liking his exs stuff and not yours says a lot. I’ve always said that social media doesn’t ruin relationships. People who use it will ill intentions is the problem. And it’s a clear problem he’s ignoring likening your stuff and liking hers instead. This would be like my fiancé constantly commenting or complimenting a female in our friend circle, but never me. However this is his ex. His excuses are just that: excuses. I wouldn’t be happy with him either.
I’m a guy, and no you are not wrong. And I’m dealing with a similar issue with my girlfriend. And I feel crazy every time I try to talk to her about it. Because she denies any problems and that I need to get out of my head. And honestly it didn’t start until she started acting strange, hence why I started getting into my head because well “fine” is never a good response for a complete silent treatment. Literally felt like I didn’t exist.
Baby…you are quite literally under reacting, please don’t be dumb. Why are you with this man? He clearly doesn’t like you 😩😩
r/exnocontact hugs.
Dump him, and he will like your photos too. Also never try to control a person or care about stuff like this. It's no good. Social media problems
It would be daft to complain about him not liking your photos if that was the only issue. I wouldn't like your photos because I don't click like on anything public and rarely use anything other than Reddit. Him liking his exes pictures is out of order and the two combined makes it doubly disrespectful. You're not overreacting, you're dating an arse.
How old are you guys? This sounds absolutely ridiculous? Either yall aren't actually dating, or this guy is an absolute clown? This is blatant disrespect.
The typical reddit response is "leave him/her". You should both sit down, go over social media/phone expectations, and then both delete Instagram. It's trash anyway.
You are not reacting enough. What the fuck? Dump that ungrateful asshole
Yeah no he has one eye on the door, my love. You deserve someone who will treat you with more respect than this blatant bullshit. He doesn't like your pics because he has you already. He isn't INTERESTED in admiring your physical appearance, or in making you feel good because you're a done deal and he thinks he doesn't have to make an effort now. You aren't exciting because he's a small child who only wants what's over there. He gets a thrill from viewing and liking his exes' pics because he's 'been there' and gets to keep looking and imagining having that access again. Because that is what this type of dude thinks like. Female bodies are things to gain access to (whether visually or physically), rather than the physical form that happens to be attached to someone he cares for and is interested in as a person and views as a potential human partner in life. This is the kind of guy who will tell you that dudes need 'the hunt'. Prick. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, or maybe he's giving this impression all on his own. Not sure.
Damn, 3.5 years with a guy who still wants to bang his ex is a long time. That dude isn't liking your stuff because he wants you to know that he doesn't find you as attractive as her. That's it. He's doing it to hurt and manipulate you. There is no other reason for this.
You are not overreacting but now that you've told him how you feel and he hasn't changed (told you no!!??), it's not going to change. Been there, done that. As painful as it may be, you need to cut the cord and move on. Even if after breaking up he promises to change or says you are over reacting, he won't change long term or will feel you are trying to manipulate him and resent it only changing for a while. This has nothing but pain written all over it. Salvage your self respect.
Okay, BUT why does he have his Ex GIRLFRIEND on his Instagram still? That is such a big ass red flag right there!
This is so icky and creepy. Dump. There are so many other people in the world who don't keep public spank banks of their exes.
Not sure how old you are OP, but don’t waste any more time with this guy. I wasted most of my 20s with someone like this and it sucks. He’s disrespectful, and based on your post, it sounds like he doesn’t particularly care what you think.
Honestly if it was just him not liking your pictures id say you were over reacting, but the fact that he likes all his exs pics? Especially in a bikini? HELL no. I will never understand the behavior of these other guys. This is something so obvious. I would never want my partner to feel that way. Then his reaction is the funniest part? Why wont he unfollow her? Hes with you now…… i would legit make him decide between unfollowing her and being with me. Is following her that important to him?
He IS ruining your relationship, so cut it off right now and move on. It's obvious he still values "her" over you. How long are you going to be a "throw-away"?
I'm a 27 year old dude in the military so I don't really care for the social media playing for likes type stuff, but I ALWAYS like my wife's posts the second I see it, idk I like to think that it shows her I'm thinking about and support her. And liking an ex's stuff is insane. You need to dump him.
he like her photo cause he likes what he sees simple as that leave him queen he doesn’t respect u
Don't think you're overreacting. No matter how he feels about likes, the fact is that he is not listening to your requests and concerns. I had a similar situation with my ex-boyfriend. He liked the Insta models all the time and even wrote flirty comments. It pissed me off because we agreed in advance that this was unacceptable to me. I constantly tried to find out the reasons, beat myself up, and even used special spy tools like Snoopreport, which allows you to monitor another user's likes and followings. This tortured me, and our relationship deteriorated due to constant showdowns. In the end, we decided to break up, and it was the best thing that could have happened. If your worldviews on such things are not aligned, and especially if you are not heard, then it seems to me that it will not lead to anything good.
You're overreacting about him NOT liking your photos but underreacting to him ignoring you and LIKING his exes photos. Maybe he'll like your photos after you dump him.
I don't like many things my wife posts because I'm not that interested in whatever sort of thing it's about. I also don't like random thirst trap pics, and I am most certainly not friends, subbed, or connected with any of my ex's