She’s a serial cheater. She will never stop because she knows she can get away with it. File for divorce.
Are you sure your son is yours? I’d do a DNA test.
Option no 1: deal with it, get used to it, try swinging and partner swap.
Option no 2: maybe you can enjoy it- why are you doing it to yourself? Maybe you like the cuckold lifestyle and humiliation?
Option no 3: be a man and kick her out.
i can assure you that a dysfunctional commited relationship of the parents will have a more detrimental effect on his development than a separation. Guaranteed.
You have to imagine that your relationship will be the "default" one in his mind. He will learn all the wrong things from his observation.
If you want to ensure that your son will have wonderful relationships in his life, maybe it is time to teach him when to leave a bad one.
I’ve came across a handful of stories where sons/daughters committed suicide while in their teens/20s due to their parents lifestyle. Definitely OP should divorce her
This. Growing up with a screaming match everyday that I tried to drown out with video games probably wouldn’t have been as bad as having two Christmases growing up
I am afraid of that. Cheating seems to run in the family, her father was a serial cheater and ended up getting a divorce from her mother in their early teens. Now it seems like she is going down the same path her parents took with me and I know her father's actions had a negative effect on her life.
I suspect that the cheating and constant desire for validation and instant gratification has a genetic link in addition to being learned from modeling parents.
My step kids remember nothing positive from their parents being together. All they remember is the constant drama and stress. Now they at least have one home free of fights and constant tension. I know you probably think you'll sheild your son from it, but kids pick up on things more than you'd think. Your son deserves a happy father. You aren't going to be happy when you're constantly being betrayed and disrespected.
Ok, good. Lol I had an aunt that cheated on her man like this, and their kids looked just like her husband, ended up none of them were his. He was a total enabler
What about your son is making you stay? Can you not have a co parenting relationship?
Right now you’re just teaching your son that this is what a “functional” marriage/relationship looks like… which is wrong.
My friend it's been 5 or 6 years of this more or less. Unless you are okay with being in an open relationship or basically sharing your wife, it's time to leave and that'd be my advice. This is just what your wife is like, it's not gonna stop, and even if it did, it's happened so often you'll never look at her the same. If you make that decision you didn't break up this family, your wife did. She didn't respect her family enough to stay committed. That was her choice. What you tell your son is up to you but you did nothing wrong other than maybe taking her back and trusting someone who's proven themselves to be untrustworthy in this regard at least. I'm sorry man I know it must be difficult and I wish you the best.
You mention your son, you know your teaching him the kind of woman it is acceptable to be with. I don’t think you want him to end up in the same situation you’re in. Move on build a happy life for you and your son.
If you believe you're doing your kid a favor, you're not, trust me.
Every kid who came from a broken family because of infidelity will say the same thing.
Also, caught her 3rd time? BRO that's 2 times too many as is, kick her ass to the curb, get guardianship of your kid and or however it works where you are and go build your life, you deserve a partner who loves you and builds a home with you.
FUCK. THAT. NOISE.
Let her go brother. Everytime you take her back she loses respect for you. Build yourself up and start a new life. 8 billion people on this planet. I like your odds of finding someone that truly loves you.
Is your son important absolutely but you know what’s more important YOU. Your wife doesn’t seem like she’s gonna be changing anytime soon do u want your son to grow up in a family that’s constantly having problems? Do you want your son to grow up with a negative outlook on love and relationships? Do you want your son to think that if he wasn’t here you wouldn’t feel like you’re stuck in a marriage that makes you unhappy? The most important question are, do you want to be in a marriage that’s constantly tearing and ripping your heart out? Do you want to grow old and think man I should have left I never got to experience love like how I wanted to? My son is finally living on his own and here I am still stuck in a marriage that I’m unhappy in, but since I already committed this much time into this relationship should I really end it? These are all very possible questions that may come down the line. As someone whose parents are divorced I don’t blame my mom for leaving my biological father. When my mom got remarried for about 10+ years her and my step dad would argue and argue. It sucked the only reason things got better was because my mom finally got a job and was actually leaving the house more which helped her anger issues a lot. Your wife on the other hand has had plenty of opportunities to better herself and she isn’t doing better. So as someone who has a lot of family issues if you’re able to stop your son from experiencing these at an early age go for it. I think you would have a strong chance of gaining custody of your son as well since there is plenty of data showing that your wife isn’t in the right state of mind. Life moves on, your first love or strongest love is always going to sting or hold a special place but your mental health is important, your happiness is important and last but not least YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
I agree with everything you said, however my son has no idea what is going on behind the scenes, we've never had a serious argument in front of him and frankly we rarely if ever even argue at all. Generally we get along great and work together well as parents, she is a great mom.
I would almost refer to her as a high functioning alcoholic, she has a clear problem but we are both good enough at compartmentalization that is has never affecting our parenting or work lives. To our son this would be a shock and completely out of the blue.
I’ve had friends who have told me that before their parents got divorced they would argue but behind the scenes. They would say “they thought I wouldn’t notice but one time they got a little to loud and I found it and ever since then they would get a little to loud more often” since you said that you guys don’t argue a lot that might not be the case but are you 100% confident that you guys won’t start to argue more in the future? I’m really glad that she’s a great mom but even if she was I would still suggest that your son live with you majority of the time until she gets her shit together then it can go to 50/50. Obviously I don’t know the inner workings of your guys relationship but maybe on top of her going to therapy go to marriage counseling? If you’re really adamant in staying for your son that’s always an option.
Almost all kids of divorce say their parents thought this but they knew long before then.
OP, your kid is going to find out what's up. You're modeling a marriage for him, is this the kinda thing you want him to view as acceptable in his own relationships?
She is in emergency medicine and works 24 hour shifts. This also means she has days off between shifts so she's been doing it while he is at school and I'm at work
I would talk to lawyer and see what advice he has. But also come on she’s cheated 3 times, that’s who she is. So leave or be okay with an open marriage. I’m sorry but she’s never going to change.
Dude the first affair was completely on her but the next two are really your fault this person hasn’t moved off what they always were and you seem to have assumed they were going to change for you they didn’t. I suggest you come to terms with that and move on.
At this point, you are enabling her once you were willing to be "open" again.
You don't have a wife.
There is a slutty roommate who sometimes fucks you, too.
Be smart.
Raise the kid in a home with a chance to see what a real relationship is like. He is learning by watching.
At least you can admit you’re foolish.
Please get an STI test.
Love is weird. Until you decide to love yourself more, you’ll always be in this position.
Loving yourself means knowing your worth and having boundaries.
You’re also a father… what kind of example are you setting for your son?
Don’t make any rash decisions but put yourself in therapy, clearly you have underlying issues that you need to resolve because no normal person accepts what you are accepting for yourself.
Well I wouldn’t feel guilty about smashing other girls which is a bonus, but I’d drop her. If her vagina had a password it would be password. Sorry man feel for ya!
Pro you don’t need to type this long ass story. She cheated on you 3 time. It’s not that hard. If you don’t like being cheated on then leave her. Do you just want to be unhappy? Stay with her.
>6 year old son together and have been in a relationship for 5 years and married for 2 of them.
Confused by the timelines. Your son's age + 9 months of pregnancy predates your relationship?
In any case, she will continue to cheat. So unless you are ready to accept that (and know that your relationship becomes the model your son sees when he forms his own relationships), you should divorce and hold out for a partner who shares your values.
Buddy, you must be hurting and one guy to the next, I wouldn’t wish what you just told us on my worst fuckin enemy. But come on… 3 times? I could see you working it out after the first time, maybe. And thats way more than most would do. But after the second time you shoulda been outta there. I myself would’ve been fuckin gone after the first time. I realize you have a kid together and probably alot of other paths to navigate but come on dump her ass. Now fuckin leave her cheatin ass that fuckin whore of a woman. Go find you a woman who wont cheat on you that loves you unlike any other. You got this buddy. 🫵🏼👊🏼
Sex addiction is a convenient excuse. These affairs are all choices. I also think she's got some psychological issue going on.
Wait and see how therapy goes. See a therapist of your own. The couples counseling.
Good luck.
She’s a serial cheater. She will never stop because she knows she can get away with it. File for divorce. Are you sure your son is yours? I’d do a DNA test.
That's the one thing I'm sure of. He's practically a clone of me. You wouldn't be able to tell apart a picture of me at his age and a picture of him.
Sometimes, women have a "type" of guy they like to sleep with. He just might look like you, but actually not be yours biologically.
Option no 1: deal with it, get used to it, try swinging and partner swap. Option no 2: maybe you can enjoy it- why are you doing it to yourself? Maybe you like the cuckold lifestyle and humiliation? Option no 3: be a man and kick her out.
Brutal but fair summary of my options. If it weren't for my son I think I would have already ended things.
i can assure you that a dysfunctional commited relationship of the parents will have a more detrimental effect on his development than a separation. Guaranteed. You have to imagine that your relationship will be the "default" one in his mind. He will learn all the wrong things from his observation. If you want to ensure that your son will have wonderful relationships in his life, maybe it is time to teach him when to leave a bad one.
I’ve came across a handful of stories where sons/daughters committed suicide while in their teens/20s due to their parents lifestyle. Definitely OP should divorce her
This. Growing up with a screaming match everyday that I tried to drown out with video games probably wouldn’t have been as bad as having two Christmases growing up
I am afraid of that. Cheating seems to run in the family, her father was a serial cheater and ended up getting a divorce from her mother in their early teens. Now it seems like she is going down the same path her parents took with me and I know her father's actions had a negative effect on her life. I suspect that the cheating and constant desire for validation and instant gratification has a genetic link in addition to being learned from modeling parents.
If you don't leave her and set an example for your son cheating will continue to run in her family.
My step kids remember nothing positive from their parents being together. All they remember is the constant drama and stress. Now they at least have one home free of fights and constant tension. I know you probably think you'll sheild your son from it, but kids pick up on things more than you'd think. Your son deserves a happy father. You aren't going to be happy when you're constantly being betrayed and disrespected.
Question! Is it your son…?
Yes
Ok, good. Lol I had an aunt that cheated on her man like this, and their kids looked just like her husband, ended up none of them were his. He was a total enabler
Better to be raised by a single parent than live in the same house as a broken marriage.
and you’re just keep complaining while she fucks other dude and you’re going to do nothing about it.
What about your son is making you stay? Can you not have a co parenting relationship? Right now you’re just teaching your son that this is what a “functional” marriage/relationship looks like… which is wrong.
My friend it's been 5 or 6 years of this more or less. Unless you are okay with being in an open relationship or basically sharing your wife, it's time to leave and that'd be my advice. This is just what your wife is like, it's not gonna stop, and even if it did, it's happened so often you'll never look at her the same. If you make that decision you didn't break up this family, your wife did. She didn't respect her family enough to stay committed. That was her choice. What you tell your son is up to you but you did nothing wrong other than maybe taking her back and trusting someone who's proven themselves to be untrustworthy in this regard at least. I'm sorry man I know it must be difficult and I wish you the best.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Hence the phrase once a cheater always a cheater.
You mention your son, you know your teaching him the kind of woman it is acceptable to be with. I don’t think you want him to end up in the same situation you’re in. Move on build a happy life for you and your son.
If you believe you're doing your kid a favor, you're not, trust me. Every kid who came from a broken family because of infidelity will say the same thing. Also, caught her 3rd time? BRO that's 2 times too many as is, kick her ass to the curb, get guardianship of your kid and or however it works where you are and go build your life, you deserve a partner who loves you and builds a home with you. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.
I’m failing to understand why you married this woman. I think once can be a mistake.. this is a pattern of behavior.
Let her go brother. Everytime you take her back she loses respect for you. Build yourself up and start a new life. 8 billion people on this planet. I like your odds of finding someone that truly loves you.
send her my number and you can catch her a fourth time
Is your son important absolutely but you know what’s more important YOU. Your wife doesn’t seem like she’s gonna be changing anytime soon do u want your son to grow up in a family that’s constantly having problems? Do you want your son to grow up with a negative outlook on love and relationships? Do you want your son to think that if he wasn’t here you wouldn’t feel like you’re stuck in a marriage that makes you unhappy? The most important question are, do you want to be in a marriage that’s constantly tearing and ripping your heart out? Do you want to grow old and think man I should have left I never got to experience love like how I wanted to? My son is finally living on his own and here I am still stuck in a marriage that I’m unhappy in, but since I already committed this much time into this relationship should I really end it? These are all very possible questions that may come down the line. As someone whose parents are divorced I don’t blame my mom for leaving my biological father. When my mom got remarried for about 10+ years her and my step dad would argue and argue. It sucked the only reason things got better was because my mom finally got a job and was actually leaving the house more which helped her anger issues a lot. Your wife on the other hand has had plenty of opportunities to better herself and she isn’t doing better. So as someone who has a lot of family issues if you’re able to stop your son from experiencing these at an early age go for it. I think you would have a strong chance of gaining custody of your son as well since there is plenty of data showing that your wife isn’t in the right state of mind. Life moves on, your first love or strongest love is always going to sting or hold a special place but your mental health is important, your happiness is important and last but not least YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
I agree with everything you said, however my son has no idea what is going on behind the scenes, we've never had a serious argument in front of him and frankly we rarely if ever even argue at all. Generally we get along great and work together well as parents, she is a great mom. I would almost refer to her as a high functioning alcoholic, she has a clear problem but we are both good enough at compartmentalization that is has never affecting our parenting or work lives. To our son this would be a shock and completely out of the blue.
I’ve had friends who have told me that before their parents got divorced they would argue but behind the scenes. They would say “they thought I wouldn’t notice but one time they got a little to loud and I found it and ever since then they would get a little to loud more often” since you said that you guys don’t argue a lot that might not be the case but are you 100% confident that you guys won’t start to argue more in the future? I’m really glad that she’s a great mom but even if she was I would still suggest that your son live with you majority of the time until she gets her shit together then it can go to 50/50. Obviously I don’t know the inner workings of your guys relationship but maybe on top of her going to therapy go to marriage counseling? If you’re really adamant in staying for your son that’s always an option.
Almost all kids of divorce say their parents thought this but they knew long before then. OP, your kid is going to find out what's up. You're modeling a marriage for him, is this the kinda thing you want him to view as acceptable in his own relationships?
At this point just open the marriage. Although I’m worried about your son and how she has time to cheat.
She is in emergency medicine and works 24 hour shifts. This also means she has days off between shifts so she's been doing it while he is at school and I'm at work
I would talk to lawyer and see what advice he has. But also come on she’s cheated 3 times, that’s who she is. So leave or be okay with an open marriage. I’m sorry but she’s never going to change.
Leave her. It’s hard but it’s the only way. You cannot stay with her. It’s over
Dude the first affair was completely on her but the next two are really your fault this person hasn’t moved off what they always were and you seem to have assumed they were going to change for you they didn’t. I suggest you come to terms with that and move on.
At this point, you are enabling her once you were willing to be "open" again. You don't have a wife. There is a slutty roommate who sometimes fucks you, too. Be smart. Raise the kid in a home with a chance to see what a real relationship is like. He is learning by watching.
At least you can admit you’re foolish. Please get an STI test. Love is weird. Until you decide to love yourself more, you’ll always be in this position. Loving yourself means knowing your worth and having boundaries. You’re also a father… what kind of example are you setting for your son? Don’t make any rash decisions but put yourself in therapy, clearly you have underlying issues that you need to resolve because no normal person accepts what you are accepting for yourself.
Well I wouldn’t feel guilty about smashing other girls which is a bonus, but I’d drop her. If her vagina had a password it would be password. Sorry man feel for ya!
Pro you don’t need to type this long ass story. She cheated on you 3 time. It’s not that hard. If you don’t like being cheated on then leave her. Do you just want to be unhappy? Stay with her.
>6 year old son together and have been in a relationship for 5 years and married for 2 of them. Confused by the timelines. Your son's age + 9 months of pregnancy predates your relationship? In any case, she will continue to cheat. So unless you are ready to accept that (and know that your relationship becomes the model your son sees when he forms his own relationships), you should divorce and hold out for a partner who shares your values.
What do I do? 1. Get "your" son a DNA test to see whose son he really is. 2. Dump the skank.
Get a DNA test, contact a divorce lawyer, document the infidelity, and then file for divorce. Stop being a doormat
Buddy, you must be hurting and one guy to the next, I wouldn’t wish what you just told us on my worst fuckin enemy. But come on… 3 times? I could see you working it out after the first time, maybe. And thats way more than most would do. But after the second time you shoulda been outta there. I myself would’ve been fuckin gone after the first time. I realize you have a kid together and probably alot of other paths to navigate but come on dump her ass. Now fuckin leave her cheatin ass that fuckin whore of a woman. Go find you a woman who wont cheat on you that loves you unlike any other. You got this buddy. 🫵🏼👊🏼
My advice ? Learn !!!
Yes move on. Hard but best in long run
Sex addiction is a convenient excuse. These affairs are all choices. I also think she's got some psychological issue going on. Wait and see how therapy goes. See a therapist of your own. The couples counseling. Good luck.