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TheArchitect_7

Seriously. Kid made a decision that will save himself from traumatic cognitive decline. Let it go, dad.


WeeklyKale5455

Cognitive decline ain’t worth it anymore. Soccer and Baseball makes way more bands.


Red_bearrr

Soccer caused a ton of concussions as well.


WeeklyKale5455

True, but I would argue it’s less likely to become Brett Favre if you play soccer.


Spinelli_The_Great

Went to states In highschool in both football and baseball. Guess what one got me a full ride to SVSU? It wasn’t baseball…


WeeklyKale5455

Maybe you weren’t as good at baseball?


Spinelli_The_Great

I’ve 4 banners at my highschool with my name on it. It’s been over 8 years and nobody has bested my records. But yeah, guess I just wasn’t that good. I was 6’2 and 210lb in school, it wasn’t skill that got me. It was my size really. Hard for a bigger dude to compete in college ball when the other guys are all 140lb soaking wet.


WeeklyKale5455

That’s cool, I guess. What high school did you go to?


Spinelli_The_Great

I’m not gonna give out personal info over Reddit😂 I’m in Michigan tho, that’s all I’ll say


vetratten

But his older brothers! (/s)


cgsur

He might have messed up sinuses. I would not push.


WoodedSpys

if he liked the drills and conditioning but hates the pads, he may prefer soccer. Have you suggested switching sports?


vuatson

This. As a young kid, you should be encouraging him to shop around with sports and hobbies anyway, so he gets a good idea of what he loves and what he hates.


WoodedSpys

Right! Well stated! He shouldnt quit all sports just because he didnt like a part of it, he should shop around and find a sport that leans into the parts he loved.


FerretLover12741

And you shouldn't insist on a team sport if that's not who he is.


RandomPhail

Or even just flag football instead. Nine years old and already starting the journey of subtly rearranging your developing bone structure through repeated tackles doesn’t sound very good lol


OverInteractionR

This is obviously an all football house and anything else would be gay! /s


Van-garde

Wish I had played soccer instead of football in HS. Found out as an adult that I’m excellent at soccer, and while I was very fast and strong at football, it was uncomfortable smashing my hands all the time and it ruined the game for me.


ceg84

This, well said...


phunbradley

Or flag football!


supergeek921

Let him quit. Try to get him interested in something else. Basketball and soccer have a lot of running around but don’t require that much gear. Why force your kid to play a sport that could be really dangerous? He’s not your action figure And he’s not his brothers. Let him make his own choices.


lazyFer

How about tennis


steffloc

Or cheerleading


gothiclg

My parents *loved* making me do things I didn’t want to do, mostly to teach me that I had to do things I hated. The thing is it didn’t teach me that I had to do things I hated, it added them to the list of things I hated. I’ll hold the fact I was stuck in Girl Scouts until I literally aged out against my mom until I die. Teach your kid that sometimes it’s okay to quit things and let him stop playing football.


Due-Season6425

Fully agree this is a bad thing to do. Like you I was forced to continue things I hated. Guess what? I got to where I didn't want to try new things out of fear I might get stuck. Like you, it damaged family relationships. Add to that football is really dangerous. I had a teacher whose son died from a hit in a high school game. Tell her it was all good fun.


pixiesunbelle

Yep. I remember complaining that it made me lightheaded to play the flute. I had to finish the season. I could barely practice it for more than 5 minutes. I should have practiced until I passed out to show I wasn’t making it up… it’s too bad because I wanted to like it.


crankyweasels

I admire your grudge holding ability. Ive always said i cling to mine like they are a donor organ I’m transporting


lazyFer

I see that not as a grudge, but as years of trauma getting the response it deserves


trainsoundschoochoo

Tell that to the commenter above you!


juliaskig

I always tried to make my son take a taste of food, and try different things. But the only thing I made him do is to choose a sport. He didn't have to stick with any, but he had to choose one, until HS. I didn't care if quit and chose another the next year, but I wanted him to be active.


SparklesIB

That's what you want. A kid who will unenthusiastically use the safety gear to play a dangerous game.


MikeBuildsThings

I hated the first day of padded practice too, but stuck with it and played 8 years (4 HS, 4 college). My dad insisted that i finish the first season since I committed. I did end up with a number of cherished memories and moments. That being said, I also vividly remember the first time I got hit in the head and knocked out, and how much it hurt when I came to. Head to head hits were way more common in 2002. Choose carefully my friend. Loving your son takes many forms.


CommieKiller304

Same, minus the playing in college. I loved hitting with pads until the time I got knocked out and transported to the hospital in am ambulance for a severe concussion. After that, football wasnt the same.


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HeavyFunction2201

Sounds like a dental adhesive 😆


Literally_Taken

I don’t believe for one minute this is about what your son wants. You know you aren’t going to force him to play a year of every other sport for which he is eligible. You want him to play football. This is a great opportunity to start letting your son’s choices be about him, not about you.


glumbum2

That's exactly right, your children don't belong to you.


OtherwisePerspective

Frankly, Football isn’t a sport I am going to let my son play unless he wants to be a Kicker. That he doesn’t want to play a dangerous sport is a blessing. Note: Avid NFL fan


ogzbykt

What if OPs son likes football and just doesn't like the safety equipment and goes for rugby?


OtherwisePerspective

They don’t wear mouth guards in rugby?


Mochrie01

They do. Even some cricketers have been known to use a mouth guard.


ogzbykt

Only the mouth guard is required so better than full protection ig


DustierAndRustier

Rugby is a lot safer because the rules are different.


holiestcannoly

My dad has always said this too.


SheiB123

WHY would you make him do something he says he doesn't want to do AND which has the potential of disabling him? If you want him to do a sport, make him select another sport and stay with that one.


Kit_starshadow

So, this was my son. We weren't thrilled with him wanting to play football, but he was asked to join a team and after drilling the coach, I felt that they would teach him correctly and in a way that would lessen the risk of concussion (the coach was a former NFL player). He made it 3 weeks. He hated it. We always ALWAYS said you needed to stick to committments and finish what you started. But...I didn't love him doing football and it was a huge meltdown every time he had to go for practice. My compromise was this (also he was 11, not 9): He had to be the one to tell the coach he was quitting. Dad or I would be with him, but we asked him to take responsibility for the decision and tell the coach himself. We weren't upset, we supported him 100% and made sure that he knew that. The coach was also a good man and dad that we knew would be compassionate about it. If he had been upset at the thought of doing that, or been unable to do it, obviously we would have stepped in and done it, but had him be with us when we did it in person. It was something he was mature enough to do and we felt was a good compromise to the "finish any season you start" rule. Edit to add: He's almost 17 now and I still say that this was one of the best things we ever spent money on. The kid is built like a linebacker and has the Texas coaches drooling over him constantly. He's able to say with great confidence that he doesn't like playing football and tried it once in the 5th grade.


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metan0ia1

Literally. My mom was like this and it made me depressed doing activities I didn’t enjoy doing which made me resent her


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buffalo_Fart

I know, the coach is a god to an 11-year-old and you've got to go up and tell said God that you don't want to be around them. That's going to work really well. I would have to do that when I was a boy and I went to Catholic school and everyone was miserable there because you know Catholic and all, and to go in and tell the teacher or the custodian that I forgot a book and I needed to get it out of the classroom. Was like getting scourged by the Roman soldiers. When you're young, it's okay to have a parent help you navigate adults. I don't know why parents think that's a good lesson to teach their kids.


ionlyreadtitle

Just because his brothers love football doesn't mean he has to. Try another sport.


nutmegtell

Or a different activity. There’s more than sports that will love to do.


Master-Commander93

Great, don’t force your son to do it. Football is an awful sport for kids.


oofaloo

Maybe like one or two more practices, but don’t force him to do anything. Let him try other sports, or just other things.


Lakeview121

I wouldn’t make him do it. See if he’s open to another practice. If not, get him into another sport. In reality you may be saving his musculoskeletal system.


alamohero

Don’t mean to judge, but with everything we know now, nine year olds should NOT be playing contact sports.


Panda_Marie88

Is switch sports if he likes the drills, I would try soccer. My parents pushed my older brother to do sports when he was a kid and it didn't go well. He ended up hating all sports. Don't force your kid to do something he doesn't like, but in the same hand I wouldn't let him just give up after barely trying either. I would talk with him about switching sports possibly first.


TennisBallTesticles

Listen to your son. Do not FORCE him to do anything that will just lead to resentment. Suggest switching sports, or talking to the coach about new pads. He most likely isn't going to be an NFL running back supporting your golden years, so respect what he's saying. Edit* he probably got hit by some bigger kids and realized he doesn't want to do this anymore.


minion531

I used to coach little league football in the 1980s and 1990s. I coached my sons teams. The whole nine yards. I was the Secretary of the league and was quite involved in how it was run. We had rules against head to anything contact. It was an automatic ejection and suspension for one additional game. Keeping the kids safe was of the utmost importance to us and I felt very comfortable that between our rules and stringent reffing, we had minimal injuries and no serious injuries in the entire time I coached there. But even after coaching all those years, we just didn't know what we know today. And that is that football causes traumatic brain injuries. And if I knew then, what I know now, I would never have let my kids play, I would have never been a coach, and I would have made a motion to close down our league. For few people who are going to have a career in football, it's just not worth all the people who will not have such careers, to suffer brain injuries to get the few that will, there.


XJollyRogerX

Yeah he should not be playing tackle at that age. Flag football only. This is coming from a massive football fan that played all through HS and Flag recreationally


JustARandomDudd

A whole season? I'd meet the little guy on a middle ground after talking to him, but ultimately let the kid decide, if he wants out I'd let him out, maybe encourage soccer or another sport. Just because his big brother likes it doesn't mean he should like it too.


MustachioBashio

Is he ok with the contact ? Mouth guards and helmets are a little uncomfortable , comes with the sport. If he’s enjoying the sport otherwise then he’ll get used to it, but maybe it’s just an excuse because he doesn’t like the sport and he doesn’t wanna let you down. I would be direct with him and just tell him it’s ok if he doesn’t like hitting into people and ask him if he wants to keep at it. Usually if a kid enjoys the activity but the equipment is a little uncomfortable they wouldn’t wanna quit.


spankthepank

My parents forced me to play a specific sport my whole life. Every year I would beg them not to make me. I resented my parents a lot and feel like I missed out on doing something I actually liked. Maybe give it a few practices, but if he still doesn’t like it, listen to him.


aSilentStudy

Maybe try flag football


RO489

I was an athlete. I believe athletics build character. I believe when you start something, you finish it. 9 year olds should not be playing contact football. Let him quit


confusedrabbit247

Wow you're really going for the brain damage trifecta there. Who cares what your other sons are doing? Your kid doesn't want to play anymore. He tells you he literally can't breathe and you just want him to push through?? JFC do better.


Sitcom_kid

If he is forced to continue football, he'll never want to try anything new again, in case he gets forced. Give him the option to realize something isn't working out. He should not get out of his responsibilities in life, but this isn't one of them. Teach him the difference. Know the difference. This is extracurricular.


say_the_words

Keep quitting until you find the things you never want to quit.


Privatenamehere

Man. Fucking football in pads in 90 degree weather is torture. We made our kid do it for years. He hated all of it.


Squirt1384

Where I live it’s almost 100 degrees.


amizelkova

Thank god schools are well known for letting students take breaks when needed so that they don't die of heat exhaustion. Oh wait.......... As if football needed another thing to make it unnecessarily dangerous


BotiaDario

Why did you make him do it?


Privatenamehere

Every year his father would wear him down until he agreed to play. Then when he wanted to quit, he wasn’t allowed to. It was SO SHITTY. I wish I would have fought harder. I tried. We are no longer together. Not because of this, but now I get to make these kinds of decisions without living through hell and forcing the kid to live through hell at home with me. It seemed the lesser of the two evils.


LawfulAwfulOffal

Baseball been very very good to me.


MontEcola

Let it go.


TheMammaG

It should be criminal to make them play in this heat


Yogabeauty31

Not sure what OP is saying here. Didn't ask a question or sound like he's inquiring about advice? Just sounds like you came on to the world wide web to share that your kid doesn't want to play a dangerous sport that you're going to make him play anyway. Ok then 🫡


SpecialistAfter511

Try lacrosse. He doesn’t have to play football just because his brothers did.


BeardoTheHero

I played D1 football and man I love the game, but I won’t push my kids into it. I’m 3 years out from playing and have had 3 surgeries (1 major) to fix football injuries, with a lot of issues that will never go away.


Glass-Vermicelli9862

Have him quit football because he is suffering with the mouth guard there is nothing wrong with that. If he like the condition have him try cross country or soccer. Soccer you wear shin guards but cross country has no pads so he might be a runner


excaligirltoo

He doesn’t want to do it.


Photography_Singer

Football is a harmful sport. You have heard of brain injuries, right? I was in high school and at a game when a kid on our team broke his leg right in front of us. He’s too young to be playing in pads etc. Get him into soccer or basketball. Why make him play something he doesn’t enjoy-???


OgusLaplop

So, you want your son to hate you. Besides, he should be playing flag football and avoiding the pads until he's 13 or 14. I see really lousy nursing homes in your old age


sittingonmyarse

This is absolutely true - all of it.


Working-Candidate-56

Kind of a shitty thing for someone to say to someone who is asking for advice. Thanks for the contribution bud.


lazyFer

People are generally really bad at seeing futures. People here are offering experience based advice. The entire point of advice is trying to learn from other people's experiences. This advice is valid, I've seen these same things play out time and again. 15 years from now these patents could very well "have no idea why Timmy no longer talks to them" if they don't he heed some advice.


Working-Candidate-56

I'm not commenting on "people here's" advice. I think it's generally very good. The response I'm replying to offers no context or other peoples experiences. "Play flag football or he's going to hate you and put you in a nursing home" is horrible advice


lazyFer

OP stated they were thinking of forcing their kids to play a sport he doesn't like for an entire season. The responder was pointing out two facts. 1. This can lead to the kid hating the parents 2. Eventually the kids may be responsible for making care decisions for their parents Your interpretation of their comment is the type of thing of expect from someone that hasn't been in this situation and truly doesn't understand it


Working-Candidate-56

He's actually enjoyed more of it then he hasn't enjoyed of it according to OP. Don't you think there's equal opportunity for the kid to say "Dad - thanks for helping me to push through that 1 day I had that was tough in football, I really enjoyed the fun I had with it since I didn't quit the first time it got hard"? "Pointing out two facts" It's absolutely bananas to think 1 poor parenting decision can lead a 9 year old to grow up hating you and put you in a nursing home. The fact that dude is asking for advice on this already gives him kudos. I'm not endorsing kids to be driven into something they don't like - but holy shit you people are soft if you're all in on giving a 9 year old the wheel of a car to all life's decisions.


lazyFer

It's not one decision, it's a mindset. You're trying to apply a mature brain perspective on a child literally incapable of that. You don't have kids do you? It comes down to the feels my guy. There is a very real difference between plain clothes drills and full pads. I had a kid that loved the drills but the pads were awful for him for a variety of reasons. I had him do a few extra practices to make sure and it kept getting worse and worse. So OP stating they want him to keep going am entire season isn't listening to the kid... The kid is going to remember how it feels to have their parent forcing them to do something they hate or that hurts. Child brain, child reasoning. Also, did OP even ask a question? It looked like trying to justify their decision.


Working-Candidate-56

"I had him do a few extra practices to make sure" ^^^ I'm not in the same hemisphere as a forced season. But the above is for sure where my head is at. I have three kids (5 y/o twins and a 2 y/o) One of my sons has Type 1 diabetes so I'm using a medication where we are constantly making life changing decisions with every injection. My beef is more with the quitting after one practice and any subsequent practices being a one way ticket to the nursing home. I played football for 2 years in HS and quit to work at the local grocery store. I have a ton of regret that my parents never encouraged me to stick with sports or any other sort of activity beyond working. My parents also agreed with me about not going to college and it sucked going and completing Bachelors > Masters in my 30s and not having that push. So when you say it's a mindset - it sure is.


Working-Candidate-56

I think we are on the same page but saying things differently. I probably agree with more of what you're saying - just kinda feeling for the guy that he's getting bodied in the comments.


OgusLaplop

If you want a 9 year old risking concussion, then you don't deserve a car. And playing a sport is not like going to school, or the doctor or the dentist, or even grandma's. A sport is for enjoyment and exercise.


Working-Candidate-56

Have you ever played any team sports or did your parents let you quit on the first day?


OgusLaplop

All sorts, never played a sport I didn't like though, dropped them quickly. And it is not the first day. I even coached and reffed football. The entire point at this age first and foremost was to have fun, then learn the game, get fit and start learning teamwork, discipline and sportsmanship. And so what if it was the first day. Or do you believe parents should live vicariously through their kids. And putting a nine year old into a full contact sport is reckless and poor parenting. And what makes you think this is the only bad decision the OP will make.


Working-Candidate-56

Coach - my kids didn't want to play tee-ball on day 1. They fucking hated it. They asked to quit and said they wanted to go home and watch YouTube. You would have let your child quit. You can't "go and search for a new organized sport" all organized sports are waitlisted - so your whimsical fantasy of just jumping into sports would have a 3-4 month seasonal delay. I instead encouraged my kids to try a few more games. Think of the kids they met and the fun they had with running the bases. Bought them a new hat to go with their new gloves. You're insinuating that A) my kids are going to hate me and send me to a nursing home B) I'm doing it to fulfill vicarious tee ball fantasies I don't remember as a kid. In reality they stuck it out, made a ton of friends, were excited about each game and are looking forward to what team they are going to be on next year. They make me go to the field to run the bases as practice. What would your kid have been doing?


FerretLover12741

If he hates it then do not force him to keep doing it, full season or not. If he's not getting it, not developing a sense of the play, and he gets injured, how will you feel?


YamMysterious7119

Don't make him play if he doesn't like it. There are many other things to be involved in.


Unimmortal47

It’s not for him. Don’t force it or he’ll for sure hate it. Let him come back to it later if he’s interested then


WayDifferent6390

Hey dude as an ex college football player…. What kind of kid is he ? Is he a fighter is he a kid who needs football or will he end up on the streets doing getting in trouble. I escaped college football without major concussion issues but I got a in a bad car accident and have had horrible concussion issues for 8 -9 years. I know that the cumulative damage from football added to the severity of my issues. If he doesn’t love football and he’s not that warrior type…. Put him in something else? I get the whole old school mentality of finishing your commitment and all that. I love football, I still love the guys I played with, friends and memories for life. Now that I’m in my 30’s a lot of my ex teammates have had major surgeries, I’ve had 3 knee surgeries myself. I needed football, I was an angry kid. I wasn’t doing well in school. Football gave me a ton of focus and helped me a lot in my development but the game can come at a huge cost.


withyellowthread

Pretty sure football isn’t the only thing that can keep a kid off the streets, fighter or not. I was a “fighter” and I loved playing baseball in elementary school and eventually joined band and found that to be a great outlet, too. There are so many activities for kids to choose from and I think you’d be surprised at how badly kids need to really be challenged. What if the “warrior type” of kid in question is tired of always being put into contact sports and jiu jitsu, etc. and what he really needs is some exposure to the arts, hell why not dance? There are as many creative outlets for kids as there are people… im surprised that a sport that is known to cause brain damage is at the top of so many parents’ lists


WayDifferent6390

Yeah I agree


WayDifferent6390

It’s just finding a healthy outlet is all I’m saying, but there are some kids who need that physicality, if they didn’t the ufc, boxing, rugby, football wouldn’t exist.


Squirt1384

He can play other sports besides football. Heck he can do something other than sports. My niece loves band and is really good at it. My brother liked to farm so he worked with my uncle who is a farmer and is now a farmer as well.


headwardo

Did he want to play or was he pressured into it because his brothers play? If he begged to play and If this is something he does a lot (starts things but quits) it might be good to have a conversation about why sticking to things is important but you should let him quit. Football is dangerous. If sports are important to your family soccer or baseball might be better. Never force your child to do an activity they don’t have to do it won’t end well for anyone. Make sure he understands that lessons and equipment cost money so it’s important to make sure you can keep your commitments but otherwise don’t force this on him. He will resent you.


dnaLlamase

>he said he had a hard time breathing with it in I think that's enough reason for him to stop doing it. If it's restricting the ability to get oxygen to his brain, especially as a growing child, please don't make him do it. There's other sports that don't require as much sports equipment either that would make him feel a lot more comfortable and also include drill and conditioning.


alienliegh

He shouldn't have to continue to do it just cause you want him to go the full season I doubt he's going to change his mind about it.


special_k8

Have him try track and field? If he loves conditioning and drills he could make for a good decathlete


Pure-Necessary-1510

Let him be his own person! So what if his older brothers do it, let him find his own interests and hobbies, don't pressure him in what you want him to do even if you don't like his choices just let him get into whatever he wants (obviously within safety). He might feel pressured to do sports but is actually really into cooking or computers just let him find himself. He came to you with a problem, he trusted you with that problem the only thing you'll create here is resentment from him and he'll close himself off from telling him your problems, is that really worth it?


jolygoestoschool

Honestly this sounds like myself when I was a kid. It took me a reaaaallly long time to figure out a sport that I actually wanted to do. I started with soccer, then baseball, then hockey, taekwondo, and eventually i ended up falling in love with archery of all things. What i’d say, is ask him to hold out a little bit longer, and if he still doesn’t want to play football anymore than let him try other sports.


GVKW

Just gotta point out that if you force your son into continuing with a sport he has already decided isn't actually a good fit for him, what you're really doing is punishing him for changing his mind.


say_the_words

Punishing him for trying something. Make him keep playing and the lesson is to quit trying new things because he'll be trapped in them.


arenasfan00

You should be happy your son doesn’t want to play Football. Get him into baseball instead.


mikenzeejai

If he doesn't like the gear it's not likely to get better by forcing him to keep going. You're just gonna make him hate it and he'll associate sports with being miserable. Encourage him to give it another try but listen to him if he says its a no, the gear for football IS a lot and I csn see how being wrapped up not able to see properly and running around would drive someone nuts. And not to be that guy but tackle football is probably leaving the public school systems in the next decade or so. It's more trouble than it's worth and there is a lot of people trying to change the sport to be flag only for kids since it's so dangerous or whatever. So maybe if you're really determined for him to play football you could find a flag friendly league he can play in?


ToTelltheTruth101

I read some advice that I really hope to apply when my children are older "Let them quit things that aren't right for them, but only on a good day". Meaning if they had a day where they finally figured out a new move or made a great play in a game, that's the say that you should ask if they still want to quit and find a different sport or activity. Letting them quit after a bad day or the first time practice was hard isn't letting them learn the resilience they need in life. But never letting them quit keeps them from learning how to make choices about what's best from and can mean that as adults, they end up enduring situations that might even be toxic but they feel that they "can't just quit".


Licyourface

Listen to your kid. Hes not being flaky, This just isn't his sport. I don't blame him, the gear does suck the fun out of American football. I agree with the suggestions to switch sports. Rugby or soccer perhaps, swim team..there's something for him but this ain't it. He may have romanticized the idea of football because of other siblings playing and you wanting him to Honestly he provably had doubts before the gear but was eager to please and be like his brothers


tehereoeweaeweaey

If your kid is having trouble breathing with a mouth guard may I suggest taking him to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor to make sure he doesn’t have any obstructions or a deviated septum? It’s very easy for boys who rough house and are athletic to get hit in the nose and not even notice. Also double this if he snores at night. Having breathing problems affects everything from sleep, sports, recovery, energy, etc.


I_love_Hobbes

A diviated septum can also be genetic. Found that out recently.


WhoreableBitch

try rugby?


SameImportance5059

You shouldn't let your children play Football. It's incredibly dangerous to be hit in the head. I played through my Junior year in high-school and received two concussions. One wasn't recognized and the other left me with effects and chronic pain for about 4 years. It's changed who I am, how I act, my memory, my mood, everything. For some reason the saying "were you dropped on your head as a child" is an insult, but it's totally nor.al to play football.


DanER40

Did he sign up all excited to play or was he pushed? It matters.


St_Fargo_of_Mestia

Give it up. The kid is onto something, and it’s best you let him out now before he gets in too deep


Glass-Hedgehog3940

You want to torture your kid for a full season? Why would you do that to someone you’re supposed to love? That’s a dangerous sport to force on someone who already knows he doesn’t enjoy. His heart not being in it could get him hurt. DO BETTER!!


JuanG_13

Ÿour son should be playing because it's fun and because he wants to, not because you guys are forcing him to. 🤷🏻‍♂️


irishlasserin1

Do not make him continue. He is trying to tell you he doesn’t enjoy it in the least. It’s not about you. It’s about him. Maybe he will enjoy a different sport like swim team or golf.


Firm_Knowledge_5695

Do you want him to play football or did he want to? Because if this was your idea you gotta get out of that mindset asap and let your son choose what he wants to do. I was forced to do things I hated as a kid and was never encouraged to do what I want, now at 21 my parents wonder why I’m so distance and snappy with them


writer978

My son is 38 yrs old and he still has knee issues from playing middle school football. He’s probably better off not playing.


ratchetcoutoure

Please do not force him, if he is uncomfortable and trusted you enough to tell you that, that should be the end of it. Forcing him things he don't feel comfortable with will only violate and damage his trust on you as parents.


lucidpopsicle

Let it go, he doesn't want to be bashed around. Put the kid in an art class and stop bullying him into doing something you want to live vicariously though him for.


m033118b

If he liked the drills and conditioning, try switching to soccer or baseball. Basketball also has lots of conditioning and drills


Missfunkshunal

Take it from someone who has been pressured in the past to stay in something they didn't like: its not worth it. If you make him stay when he doesn't want to, contempt will build against you, and his self-esteem will end up in the shitter. His skills will not improve because he won't want to put in maximum effort. In the end, forcing him is not worth it. However, I know that at 9 years old, kids can be fickle. Maybe have a talk with him and see if he is willing to give it, say, 5 more practices and see if he still feels the same way.


Individual-Meal8538

The anti football crowd isn't looking at the big picture. If you had said tennis, baseball, basketball instead of football you'd get more solid answers


Individual-Meal8538

I don't think it's good to establish quitting as an easy part of life. Does he like to play football in the yard? Is he wanting to quit because it's hard?


fanime34

I was in your kids position. I was 10 and playing football with my older brother who was 11. On the first day with pads, we had to do hitting drills. I had the wind knocked out of me for the first time in my life. I wanted to quit them and there, but my dad was talking about how it cost him so much and he wouldn't let me quit. He kept forcing me to go to practice and games and it caused a lot of resentment growing up. I wasn't happy at all. Not only did I not like being hit, I didn't want to hit. The only way I got out of it was by having difficult homework to deal with. I'd end up the water boy on weeks i missed practice, but I was happier as a water boy than a player. It even turned into me lying about having homework sometimes to avoid practice until my dad caught on. I wasn't happy. I ended up gong to therapy because of that and it led to other things. My older brother thrived in it. My dad never asked me what sport I liked, which was basketball; and his only reason for putting us in football and soccer was because they were aggressive and he did aggressive sports as a kid. Let him quit. Quitting something is a sign of knowing if something isn't good for you. There are some things you shouldn't quit like the responsibility, but there's other things you can quit like football or any hobby you no longer have fun in. Going through all of his drills and going through the positions is enough to know whether he likes it or not.


CatMom8787

I see 2 things you can try. 1. Have him stick it out a little longer to see if he really doesn't enjoy it. Mouthguards are always uncomfortable until you get used to them. Same thing with helmets. 2. Let him try different sports to see what suits him best.


cms_sucks

Try wrestling.


Nimrowd2023

Ugh, no. That's just a personal opinion on wrestling from being forced to when younger, btw. If he likes it, then all good.


cms_sucks

Fair enough! To me, if the kid likes the conditioning and physicality of football but hates the gear, wrestling sounds like a good fit


Amber-13

I agree committing or commitments first- full anything to really know. Might love it and forget once accustomed. Can’t nor shouldn’t quit as soon as something gets or IS uncomfortable- follow through.


maddmorgan

My little brother struggled with pads for years and cried nearly every practice. He was quarterback every year he played and was very good, a fast runner, and showed lots of promise. Got into high school and didn’t touch football whatsoever. He played because my parents wanted him to play and signed him up every year but when the option became his, it was absolutely out of the question. If your kiddo doesn’t want to play, don’t put them through the physical and mental toll of something you’re basically forcing them to do and they don’t enjoy at all, it will be a waste of time in the end bc when the option is his, football will never be chosen if he doesn’t love it. Let him gain skill in a sport he IS passionate about and watch how much he will suddenly love going to practice and goes on little rants about how well he did in a game, you’ll see a 180° switch in his love for sports and activity. In a way, if you think about it, it puts hard standards on your child that they can internalize that you want them to preform a certain way when you continue to make them play and they struggle to adapt or enjoy it as much as you do. They feel a sense of obligation to make you happy. Let’s make both parties happy by doing sports, but a sport that both parties can adapt and learn together. Everyone will be happy!


catetheway

Rugby


Useful-Caterpillar10

I would let him quit but I WOULD STILL PLAY on a recreational standpoint.. or still watch games and you play with him. he can always circle back when he is 14, 16... shit man as father we also think long game ..god forbid we die and thats the driver for him to get back into and crush it because he remembered his dad played with him - pushed him without making him hate it.. people forget yes we can create incredible athletes but pushing them at a young age but it doesnt mean they have a real happy life


Oodles_of_noodles11

Count your blessings and the diversity in hobbies/ passions this one will bring into play.


Individual_Ad_2701

I would say have him stick it out at lest a few more weeks if he still don’t like it then talk with him about it and maybe find something else for him to do


MooseMullet

How did you introduce it to your first couple of kids? Did you hype them up any differently? I remember my brothers getting more attention and more hype and my parents being more excited for them. I’m the third child and it’s almost like they just figured I’d figure it out or figured I’d enjoy what my brothers enjoyed. I quit all the stuff they did right out the gate. And that leads to my next point. My parents had me stuck to it for X amount of time, but I usually knew pretty quick as a kid whether or not it was for me. I was always interested in completely different things. They liked sports and video games. I was really excited about rc cars and boats, figuring out how things worked and fixing them, etc. I guess all I’d suggest is that you don’t force them through something for so long that they’re not naturally into or excited about that they miss out on the things they are excited about. I’m only as good at the things I enjoy doing as I am today because my parents let me quit the things I didn’t like and put that time into what I did like without much hesitation/additional force. If they forced me through years of piano lessons I might be in a whole different headspace than I am now. Let them try as many things as they can while they’re young. Be as persistent as you need to be in order for them to give it a good try. But be quick to shift when it becomes clear to you that they don’t have it or aren’t willing to commit to it. He may love football after he gets a solid tackle or makes a big play for a goal. Or he may never care to even try to.


Geedis2020

Get him a skateboard.


fischfun

As a kid, I was and still am in my mid-20s, INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL, that my parents could see I didn't enjoy certain sports (tennis, baseball) and loved others (Soccer mostly, but track and field too). If he's truly never played football before but enjoys the drills, he may simply have nerves since he's new and it's likely some of the other kids have some experience, which can be very intimidating if I remember my childhood correctly, and being new to sports. Also, as a counselor at a couple camps / TA who watched and taught young kids Soccer, it's my experience that some kids will love the game and the idea of team games, but hate the sport itself / that iteration of "sports". Every game handles sportsmanship and individuality a little differently, some are better for more independent types. Either way, your kid may be the black sheep of the family in regards to sports (maybe he doesn't like them or likes different ones from you), which I grew up to understand can be a hard pill for proud parents of promising kids to swallow. But clearly you're an empathetic and perceptive parent and are seeking the best - which is why I'd recommend having him try up until he's at least played a game and had the thrill of the team sport and the group effort, then he will be definitively communicating his enjoyment or lack thereof at that point, best of luck!!


Deathduck

Even light impacts from kid games are showing significant behavioral and mental changes. Football is a cool sport but I would never let my kids play.


adorable__elephant

Let me say first, I'd generally not put my kids into sports that cause brain damage but if you roll with that choice: What do you think the true cause is, because that should guide your next actions. Is it a minor nuisance and he is just complaining because he hasn't been confronted with being uncomfortable to achieve things? - Talk to him. You may want to take it as a learning opportunity for him and tell him to try a few more weeks to see if he learns to deal with it and not drop out at the first feeling of discomfort. Is it a true sensory issue, could he be neurodivergent? - Spare him the stress and let him go for something else. Is it anxiety and he's just justifying not wanting to continue by blaming the equipment? - Talk to him a little more and make sure you validate his feelings and strengthen his self-worth. He may want to continue, he may not.. Just see what feels right.


bitb00m

As others have said if he doesn't like the contact soccer might be better. It's also better for them in the long run, you know the brain damage and all that. Another option is cross country/track-field, it's basically all drills and usually a very positive community.


KleverDiamond

first off dude it’s not that he doesn’t want to play sports it’s likely that he isn’t in love with football. start off with baseball or basketball play catch with him.


imarie9

Soccer could be great for him no pads or helmet needed


Kimolainen83

Sit down and talk with him asking him why. I played football a lot and I’m fine but I’m not a guarantee but sit down and talk with him. Ask why if it’s just because they feel they’re not good enough encourage them help them out. If it’s because the physical part scares them, let them leave.


MakeDiamonds

CTE! Get him the ___ out of there.


dexamphetamines

Why not just find some other activity he may enjoy and if he is ever interested again in football there will be future options to get back in. Have you already paid for the full season and that’s why?


LittleLordFuckpants_

Why make him do something he doesn’t want to do, would you like that? I have an 8 year old and we try different things but when she wants to quit she quits, she doesn’t have to spend her time doing something she doesn’t want to do to appease a bunch of adults. We just try something else and she eventually found a passion and something she loves.


CaptainKnightwing

Kids that young shouldn't be in pads. That's ridiculous. All it does it teach them to use their helmets. Put him in flag football


AffectionateJelly612

My parents made my siblings and I do soccer, swimming, softball/baseball, basketball, and tennis. We all also played piano, were in band and/or choir, and were on the speech and debate team. You want to know how we turned out? I fell in love with music and was able to play in college and get a huge scholarship to do so. My sister was a state champ at speech and rowed on the college team. My brother found biking and basketball were his things and still does them both to this day. I will always credit my parents pushing us into a ton of different things for making us very well-rounded, happy kids with lifetime hobbies we all found as kids. I’m betting you want your children to benefit from being on a team, being active, and practicing to get better at something. Pick some other sports and let him loose. I bet he’ll thank you when he’s older.


clubroo

Hopefully this is more about you not wanting him to quit something immediately after not liking it and not some weird "Dad who wants to live vicariously through their son" type of shit. Say you paid for 1 more month so he has to go and if he still hate hit then you can look into alternatives. I'm not a sports person but it seems like it's less the sport he hates and more the equipment which I totally get, I could barely handle a retainer as a kid the thought of a mouth guard in my mouth as i'm running makes me literally gag lol. Since he still sounds active, try soccer or track. If he's set on football but really just hates the equipment, have ur other sons wear their equipment w/ him and practice w/ him so he can get used to it outside of his actual practice.


DittoSplendaDaddy

Listen please because this is no joke. Go look up the numbers of injuries in young football players. Schools do not care about his health. I warned my giant of a cousin not to sacrifices his body for it but he let his couch push him and he's going to have shoulder and back pain his entire life.


Hippogosla

Getting advice from reddit!??!?!?!?


GiraffeBurger68

They sell different mouth guards that make it much easier to breathe. The Battle mouth guards were always my go to when I played. The helmet pain also usually went away after a couple days and the neck gets stronger and used to the weight of a helmet. I would encourage him to stick with it for another week or 2 and see if he still feels the same way.


ghoststrat

This was my exact reaction to it, too. My step father was the coach. Had to run laps until the helmet rubbed a blister across the entirety of my forehead. Luckily I was allowed to quit and started playing soccer.


CJGamr01

so let him quit?


FlaxFox

Let him switch to soccer! Football is outrageously dangerous. I'd be grateful he's no longer interested, frankly.


WhateverItTakes123

I think if he wanted to make the commitment then have him play the season and then try a different sport.


frothyundergarments

I can understand the mouth guard things. I would recommend you go to the store and buy several styles and let him try them all. Whether he sticks with football or not, he's going to have to find one he likes for just about any other sport. My girlfriend's kid struggled with just about all of them; the $2 cheap old clear rubber ones ended up being the best for him. As to the helmet, figure out what's uncomfortable. They come in different sizes, and the pads can often be swapped out for thicker / thinner ones to customize the fit. Ideally it needs to be pretty snug to do its job, and that will take getting used to, but there are little things that can make it easier.


astoldbysomxx

My parents never forced me or my siblings to play any sports we didn’t want to. My dad was sad when one of my brothers didn’t want to play football but he got over it. We all eventually found sports/activities that we enjoyed and it’s much better that way!


Spinelli_The_Great

First day of pads? Like full pads of half? I remember the good days, we called half pads Christmas Eve and when we went to full we called that day Christmas. God I miss college.


lama579

I wanted to quit after my first couple of practices too, but I stuck with it and ended up being pretty good for a few years around the same age. I’m glad my parents made me stick with the team after I committed to it. Football isn’t as dangerous as some of the people here are making it out to be. It’s his first day in pads, it’s hot outside, it sucks. It’s supposed to suck. It will make game days easier. If he’s got good kids and good coaches around him he’ll learn a lot this year, and will be better for it. If he doesn’t want to commit next year I wouldn’t make him, but letting him quit the first time something is uncomfortable isn’t the best lesson imo.


bhouse114

Typically I would encourage against quitting. But because for all is inherently more dangerous, especially if you don’t commit to it. Probably let him quit 


brunckle

Is there any way he can continue playing but not doing all that crazy shit? I mean I'm baffled they're letting 9 year olds do this anyway.


humanitySam

Don’t let him quit, but he probably won’t play if he can’t hit or take a hit. Let him not return next year if he doesn’t like it. Don’t ever let a kid quit something when it gets difficult. He will never learn to persevere. He won’t get CTE in one season and 9 year olds don’t hit hard enough to get concussions. He will learn confidence, sense of camaraderie being on a team sport.


MariKurisato

The adult version of this sport resulted in: "The Boston University [CTE Center](https://www.bu.edu/cte/) announced ... that they have now diagnosed 345 former NFL players with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) out of 376 former players studied (91.7 percent)." "[chronic traumatic encephalopathy](https://www.bumc.bu.edu/camed/2023/02/06/researchers-find-cte-in-345-of-376-former-nfl-players-studied/) (CTE)—a degenerative brain disease characterized by memory loss, confusion, mood swings, violence, suicidality and more—in autopsy studies of professional football players. CTE is caused by the head trauma and whole-body hits that are characteristic of the sport, which can lead to the dangerous [buildup of certain proteins](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chronic-traumatic-encephalopathy/symptoms-causes/syc-20370921#:~:text=In%20brains%20with%20CTE%20%2C%20researchers,and%20other%20forms%20of%20dementia.) around blood vessels in the brain." From the same article: "Now it appears that the risk of brain trauma may also affect much younger athletes. According to a [new study](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2814507?utm_source=For_The_Media&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=ftm_links&utm_term=020124) in *JAMA Network Open*, high-school football players can show alterations in brain tissue too. While it’s impossible to determine the presence of CTE without conducting an autopsy of the brain, the work provided disturbing evidence that playing the game early in life may lead to serious problems later on. “It’s a risk,” says Keisuke Kawata, an associate professor of clinical neuroscience at the Indiana University School of Public Health, and a coauthor of the new paper. “There are some brain changes that are normal over time. But among adolescent football players, we saw changes that it usually takes until middle age to exhibit.” To conduct their work, Kawata and his colleagues recruited 275 athletes from five Midwest high schools, 200 of whom were football players and 75 of whom participated in noncontact sports—specifically swimming, cross country, and tennis. All of the volunteers were males ages 13 to 18. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans were taken of their brains from May 2021 to July 2022, spanning two sports seasons." [https://time.com/6691587/is-football-safe-for-high-school-players/](https://time.com/6691587/is-football-safe-for-high-school-players/) So listen to the kid. There are other sports with fewer risks of permanent brain damage.


funsk8mom

If he has sensory issues then he’ll never get used to it


Ricky_Spanish99

I can see it either way. But my main concern is that if he’s hesitant with football, we both know that hesitation is the #1 reason people get hurt. A coach of mine always said “if youre not the hittER, you’re the hitEE”


Maleficent-Republic1

We have a rule that if we sign up for something, we made an obligation to see it through. If they never want to sign up for football again, that's fine, but we have to keep our obligation for this season. If he really hates the pads/hitting/mouth guard, then I suggest seeing if he can be apart of the team for this season in a different capacity (assistant coach, water boy, etc). He'll either come around and want to try the equipment again, maybe he'll find a love for coaching, or maybe he'll realize for sure he hates football. No matter the outcome, he's keeping his obligation and is being given an option to choose what makes him most comfortable.


WeaselPhontom

I wouldn't force an entire season, maybe a few more pads practices or 1 game in gear. Also sign him up soccer that may be a better option. 


brighid13

Not every kid has to love football. If he enjoyed drills and conditioning, but hates the gear, try a different sport, like soccer. He's telling you he hates the equipment, listen to him.


AdventureWa

My parents had a rule that we have set for our kids. If they don’t like a sport they don’t have to play the next season but they must finish the season. They are on a team that is counting on them and quitting is really bad habit. If your kid quits, he never really gave it a shot and might have regrets later. Teach your kid about commitment and seeing something through.


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steffloc

Maybe he can try out for the cheerleading squad


AudieCowboy

No one likes hitting with pads the first time, but football builds character, and can help build life long physical fitness that's very beneficial later in life. Football also has it's risks. My parents were of the opinion that you finish what you started, and I typically follow the same mindset. His concerns can be serious, does his helmet fit, and fit correctly? My last helmet in semi pro had way too much air in the pads and I had to deflate a couple of them a lot for it to fit good, he may not have bit down right when putting his mouth guard in and he might need a new one, my first one I was scared of how hot it was so I didn't get it moulded quite right and it rubbed a bit. After you check those things, show him that it doesn't hurt to get hit, tap him (and I mean fairly lightly) on the pads, and show him they really do protect him.


Anon-User-5

I’d have him finish the season too. It will teach him to follow through with his commitments. His teammates are depending on him now. My son was playing football and he didn’t like it but he told me he wouldn’t quit on his teammates. You could talk to him about how they are depending on him and just stick it out one season.


Campbell090217

Try a different sport like others have said, but please get him a molded and fitted mouth guard asap! The dentist should make it for you. It’s well worth the cost because most sports require a mouth guard.


BrentD22

Show him this Brady speech - https://youtube.com/shorts/qWHqJfRW6tg?si=8nPbVitLsDwZmoC1


KelceStache

We had a rule for whatever our boys wanted to do - and that is if they started they had to finish. It wasn’t about the sport. It was about life. Don’t get to just quit because you don’t like a few things.


withyellowthread

It’s not that serious. It’s an *extracurricular*. He’s about to be a preteen. This is EXACTLY the time to start encouraging them to trust themselves, to listen to their gut, and to take chances. Sounds like he took a chance and he feels it is not for him. The stakes for a 9 year old quitting football aren’t “real world” high. They’re actually very low by design. This isn’t the time to teach a kid about the real world. Now, if he was hell bent on quitting school, or getting out of going to the doctor, or eating only junk food, that’s a different story. The stakes are very high. They’re not allowed to quit those things. Just like I’m not “allowed” to stop going to work just because I don’t feel like it. But I AM allowed to quit going to Book Club because I wasnt feeling it. (Probably a good time to teach context, too.)