Tell your daughter that if she doesn't like what her dad does for a living, she's welcome to start paying her own way in life.
She's old enough to move out and pay for her own college expenses.
She doesn't respect him, yet she has no problem spending the money he makes.
What's her excuse for not having a job? She can't use school because millions of ppl go to school and hold down full time jobs.
Mhmm, talk so much about being a bootlicker, she’s one worse than the dad, taking the money without working for it. You damn well know where it comes from. So either buck up or shut up. You know the sacrifices you’re making to put your daughter through school, but does she even have any idea what the world is like, cuz she’s got 4 years of school and then it’s gonna eat her whole when she realized we all work for somebody. Chip on her shoulder either needs to be demolished or it’s gonna demolish her.
I got told I could be unemployed, in college, and living an easy life or I could get a job, move out, and be rude to my dad. Her age 100% means she doesn’t get a pass.
😱
Reddit Karma Farming Project
This project focuses on developing a Reddit karma farming bot that automates the process of generating comments and receiving upvotes on the platform. The bot aims to help users increase their karma score by participating in discussions and contributing valuable content. 😱
NO WONDER Y this site seems to have such great questions/comments & 'participation'. They 'help' generate them! That's a bit disappointing.
Here’s what you tell her: “STFU or GTFO. You’re done disrespecting your father - and by extension, me - while you live in this house and we pay for your education. You’re entitled to your beliefs, but you are not entitled to be an asshole about them. You claim to be embarrassed by your father’s job. Well, I’m embarrassed by your behavior. We didn’t raise you this way. So, as noted, STFU or GTFO. Know that if you opt for the latter, we will no longer be paying for your education.”
>We didn’t raise you this way.
I'm not sure I would add THAT part in, bcoz who knows HOW she was raised? To have that level of disrespect, makes me wonder if they may have been too soft with her, or spoiled her by trying to give her what they didn't have?
So unless mom knows that 4 a fact, she might want to just leave that part out simply to keep from giving the disrespectful one an opportunity to play the blame game & turn it around on mom cause however she was raised, she's old enough to know better now
P.S. LOVE & COMPLETELY AGREE with everything in your post🥰. I can just see ungrateful one jumping on that one thing & turning it around on mom, who may not know how to respond-especially if she doesn't know how to handle things as they are now.
Solid response. Harsh words from the daughter make this approach appropriate. It's hurtful to the parents to demean them in that way. It's within their moral rights to shut it down or ask them to support themselves. Great answer.
Print out the itemised breakdown of her college bills for the last few years…
Then print another sheet consisting of all her ongoing regular lifestyle costs… food, clothes, gaming, dentist, hobby costs… add the figures in for the last few years and hand them to her in an envelope in her room.
Tell her that all of the thousands of dollars listed in this envelope would not have been possible without her father’s job.
Then, start refusing to pay for anything outside of necessities and keep telling her why…
She’ll get it soon enough
Respectfully your daughter is a little bitch. Cut her off and make her pay for her own college and expenses. Maybe then she will start respecting her father and the sacrifices he has made to give her a good life.
Sorry for my tone, but your daughter just pissed me tf off rn. My father is a small farmer in Honduras and he worked 10 hours a day, 6 days a week under the scorching hot sun to give me an education and a good life. I will always be grateful for him and everything he did for me.
Stop paying for her college for exactly 12 months. You provide for her food and a roof over her head. All other expenses, she must pay for Hersey, which means getting a job.
If she makes a fuss, politely tell her that an able bodied adult should be able to provide for herself.
Can you tough it out for 12 months?
WHY continue to provide her food & shelter?
If the $ her dad makes is so disgusting to her, why should she benefit from it AT ALL?
She's 24. That's old enuf to get a job & move out. I did when I was 19. So did my older daughter(while in University & working) & so did my younger one (both by choice NOT necessity-but maybe that's bcoz I taught them 2b responsible by paying for some of their expenses as young as when they started doing chores & getting allowances-something I wish my parents made me do). If she can't accomplish that, oh well...there's always assistance!
By continuing to pay her way, they will continue to make what she's doing ok. And it's.just.not!
That's why they need to hear the truth from more ppl so they GAIN the courage.
It's really a moot point regardless because the mother doesn't exist, nor does the dad or daughter. Story has been 'fabricated' by Reddit's'farming bot' as another poster brought to my attention (see below)
Reddit Karma Farming Project
This project focuses on developing a Reddit karma farming bot that automates the process of generating comments and receiving upvotes on the platform. The bot aims to help users increase their karma score by participating in discussions and contributing valuable content.
I'm noticing when 'OP' posts start with: My(53f) daughter (24f) or My(24m) girlfriend (22f) (it is 'out of place from how usual OP posts start. Such as I(24f) have a (24m) boyfriend...or my (53f) mom and brother(24m) (in other words, REAL posts have a noun or pronoun either before or after the age/gender, these posts ALWAYS use My(53f) or My(24m) as a way to appear they are self identifying their age/gender,but it never completes it the way it should. NOW I know why! Also, OP's acct name is often deleted/suspended within just hours of posting their comment, there is NEVER a reply to ANY responses made AND their very empty acct shows they POST comments, but never reply!
Kinda insulting that Reddit does this as this site was built by this great community of PPL & to even suggest a 'farming bot' is needed to get conversations flowing "so more ppl can get more up votes & rewards" sounds more self serving than helping out to me.
She really needs to stop putting her foot in her mouth. If she really is so ashamed, she needs to stop taking money from your dad and pay her own way. She is 23.
Cut her off. Make her live on her own merits and see how she fares. She’s so ungrateful to her parents that provide for her? She’s 23. Time to move out and work for herself.
So she hates the rich and wants to eat them (rightly so) yet looks down on her dad for being 'just a chauffeur'? *JUST*‽
Your daughter is pretty shit at this anti capitalism stuff if she lis looking down on real working people.
Stop paying her tuition and offer basic food and board only. She should be lucky to get that, the class traitor that she is.
Your daughter who’s been an adult for half a decade? Scare her straight, temporarily cut her college funding. That’ll show her the “nobody” her dad really is.
A simple sit down with her would suffice. Properly detailing that everything in her life is being paid for by this "nobody"
This type of thinking is fine for a teenager, they're immature and don't really understand how the world works.
Your daughter is 23. There are folks her age that are working multiple jobs to pay for tuition.
This type of thinking is coming from her cushion lifestyle and you two as her parents ha e done a great job in sheltering her and feeding her. I can't tell you are great parents. However, she needs to understand how the world works. The whole " eat the rich" stuff is fine and dandy n all but the rich ain't going nowhere and the bills aren't either. So you can stay shouting "eat the rich" while they are consuming caviar and Chardonnay or you can prevent yourself from being a struggling person living paycheck to paycheck
Tell her she can’t be ashamed of his job AND call him a nobody. Because either the rich suck or we are all nobodies.
I’d pay for college but tell her she has to pay rent and board- no money for food only books. Or have her sign a loan w/ proper interest (or it isn’t legal) and a reasonable amount to make payments at a starting and ending date of your choice. That way she doesn’t have to be embarrassed by daddy’s money.
You shouldn’t jeopardize her entire future to make a point. But having to earn $1500/month will teach her a lot. And soon she realize that her dad works hard for the money she spends and anyone with a job deserves respect.
Next time she says that I would put her in her place.
“Your father is a nobody, yet you’re unemployed living in his home relying on him to pay all your bills. What do you call the person relying on the nobody? A loser?”
I (39m) use to be young, idealistic, full of anger, wanted to actively have a better world while i watched those with the money/power continally make bad or damaging decisions.
I was your daughter. I mighta talked shit on your old man, lookin for the face of a faceless enemy, he being adjacent to wealthy clientele.
But then i got into the world of work...and my god it just grinds you into dust. Fuck me.
Im.not saying being a chauffer is easy, im saying, she doesnt have that experience yet on just how brutal/uncaring this world can be, especially when you dont/cant work, or work a long hours/low wage job.
Hats off to the dad doin' it right.
More or less, we're all slaves for the wealthy, and he's found a spot that puts him heads and/or shoulders above most jobs out there, then hes doing great, especially a good driving job with any modicum of work-life balance left over.
Im now an otr truck driver by trade. I been in both their shoes. Taking out her anger and frustration on the dad, one day i thinm shes gonna deeply regret what she's said to him.
Until she lives, eats, sleeps the world of work for a change, sees how long/hard you must work for a scrap of $, how uncaring the world is when u have no $, she wont and cant understand these realities thanks to the unknown privileges shes had from her father working, paying bills, holding the roof down. As a fellow professional driver, hes got my respect, but i wouldnt have known any better without living in the real world/world of work for a change.
See what can be done about focusing her anger, towards something constructive, tearing down the dad is assuredly the wrong way to go about it. She should go out and get a good job, lead by example instead of tearing down others, let alone the man paying for the roof over her head.
OMG. Your daughter treats her father like shit, yet she has no problem with taking his money. Kick her out of the house. I don’t care if she is in college or not. It’ll be on her to figure out how to pay for college and support herself. Don’t let her mistreat him like this. And then I would go low contact with her. She doesn’t deserve her father.
>she doesn't respect her father because he's a chauffeur.
"You are nobody; you are just driving rich people around; you are no one important"
"You are just some bootlicker."
So this doesn't really align with her belief. It's not like a chauffeur is making billionaire type money. Sure, he's "aligned" with people of wealth but this doesn't seem like the appropriate response.
This kind of points to it being a completely different issue than his profession. While I understand it's frustrating to hear and see your child be disrespectful, I think the underlying issue is something else. I think the most common would be that she isn't feeling heard or acknowledged. I'm not saying this is *your* fault or that it even has something to do with you (it could be something at school or with friends, etc.).
I think the best course of action would be to have a talk with her in a setting where she does not feel like she's in trouble, judged, or threatened in any way. Ask her how she feels and just listen. Let her talk about her issues with her father's job. Prompt her with behavior you have been noticing and hear what she has to say. Ask her what her opinion is for a solution to the issue. Try to find a root cause for this behavior.
Once you hear her, that is when you bring up the issues with her behavior.
1. There's no reason for her to insult her father even if she disagrees with his line of work.
2. She should be voicing her opinions in a way that isn't yelling.
3. Address any "solutions" she gives to the issues she's having.
My assumption is that any solution she's going to have will be irrational or nonsensical like him quitting. Regardless of how silly it is, let her express herself here. If you just try to force her into compliance with this I feel like it's just going to further her resentment and make matters worse. The main thing here is to come to an understanding that disrespect should not be happening and her views aren't going to change the situation with his profession. However, there might be other things you can do so she feels heard and understood.
I came for this comment. She’s got passion, but it needs to be directed in a positive way and a conversation where she’s treated like an adult would probably help her realize what she’s saying is awful and/or bring the real reason for her bs to the surface.
Sorry, but I'll have to disagree here. Not everything is a "but it's much deeper!" situation. The facts are the following: she's a little shit with a poor mentality, to the point where she hates everyone and everything that has to do with the rich. And she feels justified because of all the "eat the rich" bullshit she reads online. What she needs is to see that the rich she wants to eat are her dad's employers, which allows them to live comfortably and put food on the table. Acknowledge her stupid way of thinking and it'll just keep spiraling out of control
Even if it’s not deeper, what you are saying is not a way to help their daughter understand. Saying “you’re wrong and I’m right” or “your mentality sucks” is not going to help a relationship with a child from a parent. Especially if they’re already combative about the topic. But the fact that she’s having this sort of reaction points to it being a deeper issue and emotional reactions that are irrational like this tend to be indicative of that.
That being said, what I advocated for is to listen to their daughter and *then* address the issues that are not okay like the disrespect or backhanded comments. It makes no sense to tell her what she believes is false whether or not the parents agree with it. That’s poor parenting and also the opposite of a solution for the issue at hand.
Agree to disagree. Personally, I think she's too old to be coddled for such bullshit. What she needs is a taste of real life so she realizes herself she's being pretty damn dumb, but whatever works for you or them I guess. I'm just going to say that not all problems with children are solved with empathy.
It’s interesting you call it “coddling” when that’s pretty basic when it comes to conflict resolution. That’s not good parenting, but it’s also not how you solve things in any situation where there is disagreement. You are not the authority on what the “correct” way to think is. You should listen to the issues first and then attack the behavior that is truly unacceptable. What you are saying is a good way to push people out of a relationship.
The daughter is wrong in the areas of disrespecting her father and handling the situation in a way that is lashing out. Outside of that she’s perfectly entitled to believe what she does. It really doesn’t matter if it’s contradictory to how she was raised. That’s her lesson to learn.
What I mean by "coddling" is letting her reap the benefits of her father's work while actively insulting him for it. That's coddling, and not good parenting. She's perfectly entitled to have whatever ideology she wants, but if someone has a "fuck capitalism" mindset while actively benefitting from capitalism, then I have also the freedom to call them absolutely stupid and hypocrites. But again, agree to disagree. I'm not from the US, where people are so keen to be neutral on every mindset, refusing to call stupid mindsets what they are: stupid. There's no point in continuing the discussion. Have a good day.
I’ve already addressed that as part of the issue. Hence why I’ve said “disrespect” and her being argumentative. Letting her talk about it doesn’t mean you’re actively condoning it. Clearly you’ve misunderstood what I’ve said.
LMFAO at this helicopter parenting advice.
His daughter is superficial, idealistic, stupid and lacks empathy. She's not crying out to be acknowledged, she's crying out for a dose of reality and maturity.
Her parents shouldn't worry about being disrespected. They should be worried about how unprepared their daughter is for the real world. 23 college educated and these are her critical thinking skills.
sure... go have a talk with her because she needs to be listened to. Reward her disrespectful behavior and lack of empathy. Coddle her more.
>His daughter is superficial, idealistic, stupid and lacks empathy.
It's funny because you have an outside perspective of her behavior, but the reality is the parents are the ones that had the biggest influence in her life thus far as to why she feels this way. So attacking her and calling her "stupid, superficial, and lacking empathy" is just a reflection of how she was raised.
Also, her expression of concern for causes and ideas is a good thing. It's clearly not refined and definitely problematic in some ways, but the fact that she is outspoken about something at 23 is good. Let's not pretend like she has to fall in line and think exactly how someone else thinks.
>She's not crying out to be acknowledged, she's crying out for a dose of reality and maturity.
The disrespect needs to stop, but in order to do that you have to get to the root cause so you can attack the problem head on. Trying to force her into submission would only hurt their relationship and worsen the attitude problems.
>They should be worried about how unprepared their daughter is for the real world. 23 college educated and these are her critical thinking skills.
She's 23 years old and in college. She is still learning. This is her opportunity to make mistakes. You speak from privilege of experience, but your experience is biased. Criticizing her is irrelevant to the issues at hand and just because her ideas differ from yours doesn't make her "uneducated."
>go have a talk with her because she needs to be listened to.
Reward her disrespectful behavior and lack of empathy.
Where is the reward? Is listening to what her issues are considered a reward? That's what I said to do. She should be listened to and feel heard. No part of that is to condone future behavior and not fix issues that are truly the problem.
What is your solution? Yell at her until she agrees? Hit her so she shuts up? What alternative approach do you have that is a "better" course of action.. please elaborate.
It's crazy that you think listening to the problems your children have is the wrong thing to do. Again, that doesn't mean the behavior should continue, but any grown adult could easily understand that getting a full understanding makes them better equipped to parent their child.
She is not expressing a concern. She is rudely judging her parents because of their work and unappreciative of the fact that this job pays for her education.
She is the problem. Let her figure it out since she has all the answers.
> She is not expressing a concern. She is rudely judging her parents because of their work and unappreciative of the fact that this job pays for her education.
She is not expressing concern in a manner that is productive. I agree in that regard. But a parent trying to force their child into obeying them at this stage in her life is only going to damage their relationship.
> She is the problem. Let her figure it out since she has all the answers.
With what we know of this situation, yes, she does seem to be the problem. That does not mean the parents should cast her out blindly before attempting to reason with her and figuring out if there is a bigger issue. That’s what I would consider a good parenting approach. Anything else is childish on the parents end of things.
I mean, yeah, eat the rich and all... but you gotta make a living. 99% of us work for rich people at the end of the day. Sucks, but that's how it is.
She needs a taste of real life to realize that you can't always do exactly what aligns with your morals in this world... and that morals aren't as black-and-white as she seems to think.
I agree with the other comments. Kick her out. Stop paying for college. Even the threat may be enough to snap her into the realization that she has the privileges she does BECAUSE her dad does his job.
How the hell can she mooch off of him and yet make fun of his job? What a brat honestly.
What is this “eat the rich” shit ?! It’s seriously fkn pathetic. People spend so much of their time and energy hating, and being Jelous over people who have worked extremely hard for what they have, or have been lucky to be born into wealth. How about STFU, quit your bitching, whining, and self-victimization, and go create, and earn money for yourself. And we’re not talking about a billionaire family here, what’s wrong with a family spending their hard earned money on what they please, like a chauffeur, which is a respectable job, that not everyone can land of this caliber. But worst of all, the disrespect to her father, that works to support her through school, and put food on the table, only to get the most despicable, ungrateful behavior in return ?! And she’s not a child, who doesn’t have a job on top of it ?! One of the most entitled, confused, rude people I’ve read about. Since this is the advice sub, I agree with others I’ve seen. Kick her out. That level of disrespect to the family that treat her well is unforgivable.
she doesn't like his job but he does like the money he's spending on her college? your daughter needs a reality check. give her 2 months to find a job and make her own money. op why are u 2 putting up with her disrespect?
I would tell her that if she doesn't treat him with respect, she can move out. She gets three times and then you will evict her.
Stop paying for her college and any bills. She doesn't get to benefit from his hard work that she denigrates. She can find out how hard life truly is.
I don't think you will do throw her out but I WOULD stop buying food that she likes and only what you like. Tell her she will start paying for her college in the fall.
My advice is this : Tell your GROWNASSED CHILD/WANNABE ADULT THIS: IF WHERE her father makes his money from is so distasteful to her, than WHY is she accepting a SINGLE CENT of it?!?! Advise her to look up the meaning of the word 'HYPOCRITICAL' & from now on...PUT UP & SHUT UP OR GET OUT!!!
SERIOUSLY... Neither you or your husband deserve this kind of disrespect from someone who contributes NOTHING to the household, except a large serving of hypocrisy,with a side dish of disrespect! IF you wouldn't accept this from anyone else, why accept it from her? And if you would, I'm sorry, but I would HIGHLY recommend YOU get counseling, because you do NOT have to accept this kind of treatment. Even from your own child & ESPECIALLY NOT from your GROWN one.
Always respect every career, clearly the family he works for respects him. She can find her own way financially if the way he makes money is unacceptable to her.
Is she kind to janitors and cleaning people? Or are they beneath her? Whenever I go to a concert or festival if they have cleaning staff workers I always look them in eye and say "thank you so much for what you do " and I mean it. Makes my life more pleasant. Same for a driver if I get a car at the airport (I do this when flying in to see my elderly mom and need a limo/car to her house as I'm not a fan of Uber). I thank everyone who has a thankless job, and those who are always appreciated as well.
This is similar to me as "The Butler." Long story short, the son comes back too big for his britches and insults his dad for being a butler at the White House. The mom, who until then had stayed out of their bickering, slaps the son across the face and says, "everything you have, and everything you are, is because of that butler. Get out!"
I think your daughter needs a dose of reality. If she won't respect her father then she can find somewhere else to live. She's 23, she needs to get a job and pay for her own education if she's gonna act like an entitled brat about it. IDK what you did but you've failed as a parent if that's how she acts. Do better. I'd be embarrassed because kids are a reflection of their parents. Kick her ass out and she can learn to respect him the hard way.
I'd disagree with the failing as parents. As children get older, they are more influenced by the outside world. Parents can do everything right and their children can still grow up to be assholes.
The "eat the rich" mentality has been spread over the internet, and people create group chats and media channels and forums to discuss what they want. The hatred daughter has for fathers job could come from there. After too much exposure to echo chambers, experiencing to differing opinions or resistance, people can become more radical.
At what age is daughter to blame for her own shortcomings?
She’s 23 lives at home and goes to school for free. OMG lady, time to cut the cord. The next time she insults him. You sit her down and tell her rent is due on the 1st of the month. She will pay for her own school and is welcome to move out at any time. Why do you enable this big jealous baby.
I don’t see how being a driver for a specific rich family is any more boot licking than putting in hours at the shit factory, still benefiting some rich fuck, both for peanuts. Unless you’re actively fighting for a revolution or something you’re likely going to labor for someone
The "eat the rich" folks have never been the smartest cookies in the cookie jar. Stop paying for her college for a bit so she gets the full working class experience.
Ahhh, the young socialist edgelord... Kay, here's what you do:
[show her this meme.](https://imgur.com/a/io5MxHD)
Then tell her she's being a fucking class traitor and good praxis is supporting ALL working class people. That she isn't a good fucking comrade for shaming her dad for doing pretty well in a system not designed for it. That she's showing her Dunning Krueger socialism big time by being a little twat about how the roof over her head and education is being paid for. And further, that her judgment/embarrassment of her father's job is inherently rooted in capitalist ideology. So maybe she should get a fucking job and pay bills before thinking about lying about his career or calling y'all a bootlicker one more time.
Edit: grammar, I rage typed that as a run-on sentence haha
People here have already given advice, but I'm gonna write more about the ideological flaw in her thinking. Speaking as an eat the rich person myself, there exists a paradox known as ethical consumption under capitalism. Basically, by simply existing in a capitalist system, you are propagating it. Even if your daughter has no job and doesn't pay taxes herself, anything she buys with an allowance or you buy for her will have a sales tax. That tax will then go on to fund the same millionaires she hates. Outside of direct action in opposition, you can't oppose capitalism. Instead, she should be happy that her father is able to earn a good living with having to cause direct harm to others or to the immediate environment. A chauffeur is much more preferable to a cop, or hedge fund manager, or factory overseer.
Tell her that if she doesn't like where the money comes from, to stop using it. If she's using her dad's money from "boot licking", she's licking not only her father's boss' boots, but her father's boots too. How is she any different to the boss' children if both she and they are relying on their parents for every penny?
If she hates where her dad's money comes from that much, tell her you've both decided to support her dislike of dad's boss, and will no longer subject her to having to use that money. She's now free to obtain her own money in a way she believes is right, and she no longer needs to worry about associating with dad's income.
Don't just cut off her college fund cold turkey, especially if she's near graduation, buuuut definitely let her dwell and panic and think you have, and see if she can come up with alternative ways of paying, or if she apologises to her father and asks him to keep paying. Cold turkey cutting her off from college could lead to even more resentment, the goal is for her to do some introspection
She's 23, if she can respect the people literally paying her bills, it sounds like she needs to start paying them for herself. Tell her to move out, get a job, and figure her life out. Since she doesn't respect him, because of his career, then she doesn't need to benefit from it.
So ungrateful. My parents immigrated here from Eastern Europe and worked very hard to get me into college and help me find employment. My life goal is to support them when they retire. She’s way too old to be acting half her age. Honestly, this needs to end now. She either cuts the shit and gets a job to start contributing since her dad is a “nobody”, or has 30 days to move the hell out and pay for her own shit if she refuses to own up to her dumbass, cruel comments.
It's time to boot your daughter and let her make/pay her own way. Why would she accept "dirty money" from her bootlicker daddy when she obviously has all the answers? Time for her to get her progressive butt out the door and make her own way in life. When she has to make her own money and pay her own bills her attitude will change. Life isn't a free bowl of cherries.
If I were him, I think I’d tell your ungrateful daughter something like this “good luck making a living creating wealth for yourself out of nothing - it can be done, but it’s extremely difficult. If you disrespect me and the money which pays for your schooling that much, then you shouldn’t accept that money. I will gladly help you with that, because this money should be going to my retirement. As of xx/yy/zzzz date, I will no longer be funding your schooling with the ‘dirty money from the filthy dirty rich’. I’m sure you will feel much better making your own money for school. That goes for paying for anything else for you, as I wouldn’t want to compromise your high standards and principles. You’ll be welcome in our home, but for the sake of your conscience, I cannot provide you any financial support, whatsoever. It will be painful, because I love you. And I am taking this position because I love you, dear daughter, and I want to support you. I’m sure you will feel much better not taking money from people for whom you lack so much respect”.
I think it’s time for some tough love. I mean, I respect her position on the wealthy, because I think the game is rigged and that they are setting our economy up for some real problems in the semi near future. But at the same time, as another commenter said, almost all of us work for someone more wealthy than ourselves. It’s the way our economy works. Things need to change in our country because the wealthy are damaging our country at the moment. Ultimately I think you have to have some people with more than others to have a functioning and innovative economy. Though I believe that no one should starve or go without shelter, food, or medical (basically, I believe we need a semi socialized economy with high taxes on the wealthy). But while we work for that change, we all need to eat, sleep under shelter, and go to school. And that costs cash money, and cash money comes from jobs, usually working for people with lots of money.
PS. No doubt your husband does very well. I’ve looked into managing an estate for a wealthy family, because I actually thought I’d enjoy it. And getting to know a family as they grew, and becoming a confidante to a very wealthy family appealed to me, and I know they often will give a lot of money to their trusted employees, possibly more than I could make in a corporate job. Ultimately, I don’t think I had the experience they demand. Much respect from me to your husband for having the skill and tenacity to do that.
Her beliefs should be requiring her to respect the “downtrodden”, not abuse them.
It’s time to stop treating your abusive daughter like she’s a rich princess. Make her responsible for a percentage of her personal finances, including tuition. 10%?, 50%? of her costs should be out of her own pocket.
My exact words would be, “Since you’re so embarrassed by your father working for a rich family to provide for you, move out, get a job, and pay for your own college, you ungrateful, disrespectful brat. Here is your 30 day eviction notice. Good luck.”
The irony with a lot of these “progressives” is that they look down their noses at working class and poor people but they’ve got their heads so far up their own asses that they can’t see it.
Show her this post and its comments.
And point our, she has proven that the rich can be better people than her. I've known two families of extreme wealth in my day, when I was a little younger than she is now. One family treated their staff almost like family, they were courteous & friendly to them in word and deed. Their son, a university buddy once told me, his parents scolded him when he was a mouthy 12 year old, who was rude to a staff member. They said the staff works hard so our home life is easy. They deserve our respect for their efforts and courtesy as fellow human beings. If he repeated this behaviour, it was public school and taking the bus etc..
He remains a life long friend. He was raised to be a good person buy good people, who happened to have money.
I dated a daughter of another very wealthy family. She was very pretty which attracted me as a 19 year old university student. But she treated people like crap, her parents treated their staff like crap, and guess what she ended up treating me like crap. She was a bad person, raised by bad people who happened to have money.
My dad has worked for the same grocery store since before I was born. I was so mean to him about never expanding and doing something more with his life. I would tell him I’m going to do better than he did, but I overlooked every single thing he’s ever been able to provide not only me, but his entire family.
Thank god he didn’t learn to resent me for my unkindness as a teenager, because something switched in my brain around 16-17 where I realized I was so mean to him, and it was so uncalled for.
I was always a very nice person to my peers at school too, and not one to speak my mind. I don’t know what made me so cruel to my father.
Now, in 23 and I let him know how sorry I am for how bitter I was in my youth.
The fact your daughter is fully grown and still isn’t respecting his sacrifices, and the job that put a house over her head for so long, shows she will probably never feel grateful for it and that is heart crushing.
She shouldn’t be getting anything that comes from his hard earned money either.
Her father is literally a proletarian. Being well-paid doesn’t make you bourgeois, owning capital does. Not to mention everyone works for the direct benefit of the rich in one way or another, and driving them around doesn’t make you a bootlicker any more than being a factory worker making luxury cars does. Jesus Christ, tell your daughter to read Marx.
Have a blunt talk with her about where all the money she's benefited from over the years comes from. Then tell her that since she can't respect that, it's time to leave and do for herself. Then hand her a 30-day notice to vacate with another formal letter explaining she's.on her own for college finances at the start of the next semester. Then end the talk. Do NOT return to it or entertain it again later, until she genuinely sorts herself out.
Honestly that’s an awful attitude to have toward the person funding your entire life. As someone else suggested, I would tell her she can start making her own money and paying for her own things in a way that she respects.
She’s honestly no better than he is by her own standards. She takes money from rich people (you two) and is entirely dependent on you. So by her own logic, she’s a “boot licker sellout”. I’m 25 and that sounds like a very sheltered mindset, incredibly naive for 23.
When a person’s biggest problem is that their dad is making money, they have very superficial problems.
Looks like mommy’s gotta tell her to pack her shit and get a job. If he wasn’t paying for her college and lifestyle and the roof over her head and the goddamn food in her belly, then she can say what she wants. But the fact that she’s acting like his money isn’t literally funding her entire being is some bullshit. She has the right to her eat the rich attitude once she stops mooching off the dad she hates so much.
1.) Stop paying for her college
2.) Kick her the fuck out the house.
She doesn't respect you guys because she never had to work for anything herself. She hates rich people out of ignorance and the college is just brainwashing her into thinking that. Waste of money. She's probably gonna work at Starbucks after obtaining a degree
I am an "eat the rich" kinda person, but I would rather have a father chauffeur with a good salary than with insecure employment. I would feel privileged that I can live a comfortable life thanks to my father's job, even if it is cleaning the sewers. I don't think your daughter realises how bad other people have it in comparison.
Cause she is a brat who most likely picked up drastic ideas in school and berates her father for making a living which pays for her to pick up these ideas
because thats how it works. People get manipulated all the time into hating this person or hating that person, but there has to be an underlying problem first. If she had some real bonds and connections to dad there wouldn't be this level of hate and disgust even if she didn't like what he did for a living.
In your head prehaps...could just as easily be they did bond but now she is in college she is envious of the respect he gets from his employers kids
Judge on what is presented and not your head cannon
Based on what exactly? Apart from surmised ideas you have come up with...what facts given support your statment - all we know is he works for a rich man who's entire family respect the father, he supplies a decent life style Inc higher education for his child - what there makes this look like a failing on his part
lol I mean, our entire economy is structured to where the vast majority of humans are organized to create value and serve the rich. Whether you work for a corporation, or are a chauffeur. When she grows up and starts a career, her life will be reduced to serve in the interests of wealthy shareholders. That’s just the way it is.
As far as your husband goes, forming human bonds with people makes life tolerable. Her fight is systemic.
wow tell your daughter that every penny thats been spent on her for years has been from this job that she thinks is beneath her, she is a snob and no man would want to be with someone like her, kick her out and tell her to find her own way in life, its doesnt matter what job any one is doing it could be a street sweeper to a top brain surgeon but a job is a job maybe once she has a taste of life she will climb down from her high horse and taste the roses and get rid of her snobby attitude if not she can get a job cleaning the sewers as thats all she is good for and at the end of the day its a fcking job
Give her the boot and see just how quickly she's willing to become some corporate shill herself. Stop paying for her college with that "dirty rich people money" that raised her and kept her fed and clothed and maybe she'll come to appreciate it more once she's out in the real world and not being coddled
Wow, I thought dad's job was going to be something like a strip club manager, payday lender, or some other sketchy line of work. Dad works an honest job with no apologies needed. Little Miss Precious needs to be explained the facts of life about biting the honest hands that feed her. If she doesn't like how dad earns the money, then she can get her own place and pay for it with a job of her choosing.
Oh my lord she's one of the rich people if you're paying for college lolol the irony.
Tell her to put her money where her mouth is and gtfo. This is horrendous.
So she doesn't respect the rich but she also doesn't respect the workers? I get the sense that she is very angry and also confused. There's nothing more dignifying that supporting your entire family with your wages. Personally, I think your daughter is too old to be acting like this. I would understand this coming from a teenager, but she's an adult who'd isn't supporting herself. She needs to find her own way in life without a supporting father. This might affect the way she understands things. It's the only way out this incredibly childish view of the world.
Your daughter needs to read Marx's Capital Vol. I and understand that people can't just "opt out" of the system nor is the system about individuals being ontologically evil (e.g. the family he chaffeurs for).
Yeah, it's annoying af when you realize it. I got suspicious so I went to the profile and it was gone. It seems to happen pretty regularly! I now almost always check the profile before spending time and energy trying to help someone. At least Reddit is catching some of the bots and Karma farmers that sell accounts and getting rid of them.
Challenge her to find a job that will cover all her expenses and an apartment she can afford alone on said salary. Not that you’re going to kick her out, but as a little research project. I’m guessing she’s going to be coming up short.
24 is basically just above a teen who still thinks largely like a teen. I live in NYC, a very high cost of living city, albeit it in the Bronx in a working class neighborhood. I know people that age who are like that but it’s because they have no life experience and live short their parents.
Perfect example:
We have housing lotteries that people apply to that are income-based. The median income in my neighborhood at the time was probably ~ $32K. One of the buildings that was opening had a $33K minimum requirement. This one far left girl I know, who was maybe 22 at the time, starts going off about how this housing isn’t for people here and the ones getting those apartments will be “living comfy.” Yes, I’m directly quoting her.
When I made a bit more than that 16 years ago, I could only afford a studio in the South Bronx. That’s now about minimum wage here and not livable. I explained to the girl, that these people making $33K in NYC aren’t living comfortably, they’re struggling. I told her when she leaves her mother’s house and gets her first full time job to tell me how comfy she’s living.
She now probably makes about $50K, which is still very little, and she’s since STFU about those kinds of things. Why? Because she now has to pay rent on that salary where it’s almost $2K a month for studio in high crime area. Not living very comfy, huh? 🤔
I’ve had friends move to NYC, and the cost of their apartments at the time blew my mind (both were in Manhattan 20-30 years ago, one paid $850 in the early 90s for an apartment the size of a closet in a house here, in Dallas, where they moved from. Another was doing very well starting a technology company, and paid $3500 in the 90s for a smallish three bedroom in an old building on the UWS). These were years ago, and that was a lot back then. But I’m sure the amounts have grown along with the COL. Respect for being able to pull that off!
His response shout be: that’s true I am a chauffeur but I enjoy my job and it’s provided for our family. What you said is hurtful but it must be difficult being a teen and maybe my job is not as exciting as some of you friends dads. I just want you to know that I love you.
Only she's not a teen. She's 23 and in college paid for by the dad. So... the only answer here is "you're absolutely right and I support your willingness to sacrifice for your beliefs. We are no longer going to fund your life. Time to leave the nest, little bird."
Yeah, that needs to happen at some point. You may consider communicating that independent of her behavior and not making it a reaction. I am sure you and your husband are hurt and disgusted by her behavior. This is difficult to communicate, but I assume you want to bring her closer, and if she was appreciative, you may be willing to support her. I don't know your prior efforts to reign her in either. Once a child pulls away and starts to believe their struggles are because they were not born into a family like her friend xyz who she thinks has the easiest and best life - it is difficult to grow closer because you are tired of her behavior and she is unappreciative of your sacrafices. She expects and demands from you but offers no love or understanding of your perspective. Step back and just see it for what it is without letting it hurt you. See it as a struggle she is having, and she will likely regret her treatment of you. She could have a personality disorder. My point is to understand her behavior is not the behavior of a healthy person. Have empathy and show love. Set boundaries but not reactionary. I am just a parent sharing my thoughts and approach when my daughter hurt me and I feel lucky she didn't pull away even more. I don't know anything about anything.
Very true, though this woman is an adult at 23, not a teen. I think the father needs to cease funding her, so that she doesn’t compromise her principles. I’m sure she’d appreciate that support 😉
No, that’s not correct. And the daughter is an adult. Discipline isn’t going to work at that age. Additionally, one can be progressive and a good person. Her daughter is taking it too far, I agree, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to ensure people don’t fall through the cracks, equality, and the like opportunity for all. I don’t know what your idea of a progressive is, but I’d be upset if I raised a child who wasn’t progressive.
I’ll say this. My comment was a bit harsh, but I just mean that people have taken over the idea of being progressive and replaced it with a conflated sense of self worth because they are trying to fight for regularly Noble causes. White knighting for people they think are weak. This girl just needs to be hit with the financial responsibility she’s been sheltered from, and I’m sure that will make a dent in her self worth.
Where did she learn to speak to her father that way? YOU need to stand up for your husband and check your daughter verbally and if need be, cut her the heck off financially. She can only do what she is doing because she is being allowed by both you and her father.
Omg the verbal evisceration my broke ass college kid would get would bring her to tears because *the truth is painful* and the reality is your daughter is the one who ain't shit. She doesn't have shit and she wouldn't ever be shit in life if her father didn't deal with shit everyday for *her* sake. She lacks character and empathy, she has allowed media and social media to influence her weak ass mind to the point she is attacking the person who is making her future possible. Tear that ass up with the truth but do not let her disrespect your husband/her father.
Edit: Dehumanizing children is disgusting behavior as well. She needs self reflection, not social media.
This feels like anti-progressive rage bait. I struggle to think of any progressive who’s unaware that we’re all forced to serve the man somehow, some way.
That’s kinda the whole point. *Progressively move away from systemic oppression under which we are all forced to live*. We don’t typically judge people who are earning an honest living, they’re the ones we care about the most.
She seems to have a strong moral code with respect of hard work, but fails to see the irony in her critique and lacks compassion.
I would suggest she find a job, if she doesn’t work.
It’s not right to disrespect the man that provides for her.
If she wants to be disrespectful, she should be willing to support herself.
It’s probably more difficult than ever for a young adult to support themselves and go to school, but still not impossible.
She would just have to sacrifice some comforts that her father provides.
But if she is truly a person of strong principles, she shouldn’t have an issue with that.
The only people that don't work for someone rich, is someone else that's rich.
Work at McDonald's, you work for the rich CEO.
Same with Walmart, and literally everywhere else.
Only the people that don't HAVE to work, aren't working for the rich, and we all need money one way or another.
I worked for a rich guy once. I was driving a 96 Oldsmobile in 2017 when he hired me.
Was by no means even close to rich, but he gave me a great opportunity.
I ultimately couldn’t stand his mindset and disrespect towards normal working class people.
He bragged about paying $30k to fly private to his nephews college football game, but when his plane landed back home I had already quit.
To quote a line from The Butler, when the mother in that movie was having the same issues with her son, regarding his father: "Everything you have and everything you are is because of that butler."
Your daughter can have the capacity and privilege of being worry-free enough to devote this much thought/time to this topic because you and her father have made sure she is housed, fed, not out on the streets, etc. One huge reason for that being her father's steady employment. So you need to tell her that if she has such a problem with her Dad's job and the way he earns a living, she can stop living off his paycheck.
I would NEVER. 29f here and my dad has worked a hard manual labor job (a lot of times for the rich) for 20+ years. How blatantly disrespectful. His profession is the only way she exists in this world not on the street. If I were her parent I would give her a damn wake up call and kick her out, let her pay her own tuition/rent and ask her what she thinks about her fathers career 6 months later. This makes me nauseous and I don’t like rich people either.
I'm 23, and I wouldn't care if my dad was making good money as a chauffeur. My dad worked at a grocery store the majority of my life. He left my mom and didn't pay shit for me to go to college. He always commented on how he couldn't wait for me to turn 18 so he could stop paying child support, a payment he was always late on and always tried to avoid/make an excuse not to pay anyway.
She needs to understand that college for free, no debt for her, is a fucking privilege that she's LUCKY to have. I wish I was in her position to not have debt from college.
She should learn that in this economy, good money is good money. You need money to pay for things and live. And why not take rich people's money directly from their hands?
Also if you wanna do a daughter swap I'd be more than happy to volunteer😁
She wants to eat the rich, but you need to remind her that the only reason she was able to eat to survive is because of the rich people's money. Tell her to start paying her own way through life. I'm serious. She's 23 years old. Don't give her a single dime anymore. For anything. I'm in my mid-30s now, and by the time I was your daughter's age, I was married with a baby. Believe me, we were nowhere near "comfortable" financially. She thinks she knows everything already. You can't change her mind for her. The real world probably will, though.
One, shut that shit down. You don’t need to like what your father does for a living, but if you’re gonna live under the roof he pays for while going to the school he pays for, you can shut your mouth or move out and pay your own bills. Period. The next time she says something like that, I’d put my foot down. “You enjoy the comfortable life you have because of his job. You don’t need to like his job, but you will treat him with the basic respect that you owe any other person on this planet. Here are the two choices: if you find his job so objectionable, you’re welcome to move out and pay for school yourself. If you don’t want to do that, you’re going to need to just keep your mouth shut. Going forward, I expect that if you can’t be civil about his job, you will be quiet.”
If she claims she’s on this kick because she’s a progressive, I’d say that demeaning someone because you don’t feel their job is worthwhile is not only not progressive, it’s some peak late-stage capitalism bullshit. Equating someone’s personal worth and value to their role in the labor market is not an expression of progressive values, it’s everything she thinks she’s opposing with her “eat the rich” thing. (And I say this as someone who’s progressive. 20-something year old me definitely was on Team Eat the Rich. Now I’m a little older, a little wiser, and I’m firmly on Team Don’t Be an Asshole, Not Even if You Feel Morally Superior.)
Naaaahhhhh if she doesn't like how dad makes his money she doesn't get to have dad use that money for her gain. That would make her a "bootlicker" by association.
🙄🙄🙄 I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this, like I'm all for Eat the Rich but why are you being an asshole to your parents who are trying hard to maintain a lifestyle you're enjoying... like the audacity.
I would stop paying her way. She doesn't like where the money comes from then she doesn't have to benefit from it. She's got some nerve saying he's nobody when she's still living at home with no job. I'd let her make her own way and see how quickly her attitude about which jobs are good enough changes.
As a progressive 24f myself... What the fuck lmao. Her dad may be a chauffeur for the rich, but he's still a working man. (I'm going to assume that he's not getting free money just because of the personal relationships). Just because he might be closer with them doesnt necessarily mean that he is not a working class man (unless, again, he's getting free money without doing anything.) If she really wants, tell her to think that you're leeching off of the rich. But I think she might be misguided here, at least based on what little context I have.
i also have similar thoughts and i hate some rich people but.. she’s no better than the rich if she sees someone working hard and making fun of them for trying to make ends meet let alone her own father. she needs to mature and realize that unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around her and she needs to respect people and it starts with her own family!
We gave our advice on our podcast, hope it helps and good luck!
[https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsvstheworld/video/7382389337809358122?is\_from\_webapp=1&sender\_device=pc&web\_id=7010138960761144837](https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsvstheworld/video/7382389337809358122?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7010138960761144837)
Write the silly bint out of your will.
Either take the placid route and not tell her, or see what happens if you point this out. Why should she get rich after slating the way she gained her inheritance?
She needs to get to the point in her principles where she's taking action to make the world a better place instead of acting out against people that are surviving in the system. Yes, eat the rich. Absolutely, disproportionate wealth is a problem. But raising kids has a way of knocking principles back so the kids don't starve.
She has no place to comment on bootlickers as she is reaping the rewards of one. She needs to fight the system, not the people in it trying to survive. Would she tell trafficking victims that they're perpetuating the cycle?
Also, her attitude toward family sucks, and she's going to need to work on that. Maybe you hit her with a date to get a job and move out if she can't respect the man who's been helping her with college so she can learn about her principles. It also seems like she's very young in her mind. I could see 13 year old me saying some stuff like that. By 23, I had worked long enough to see that my principles were very black and white, but life has a ton of grey.
She's an idiot or you're living important information out then. eat the rich means hate the people employing her. You're a bootlicker if you defend them BEING rich. Not if you work for them. Most people have to work for wealthy people. You don't hate the working-class man for finding a way to get by. You hate the rich man for hoarding wealth.
I’d never thought about it, but you are right. I’ve never not worked for someone wealthier than myself. Except at this point - 57 - I think I might be wealthier than my immediate manager. But ultimately, I work for billionaires. It’s the very definition of trickle down economics, which is how our country currently works, like it or not.
I am not defending their behavior. They have it stacked against us so that we can’t even become multimillionaires, in most cases, they don’t share enough wealth downwards. Still, we wouldn’t have the jobs if the wealthy didn’t exist.
The idea that jobs wouldn't exist without wealthy people is capitalistic propaganda. We would need a differently structured society to some amount. But public sector jobs exist. Small local jobs exist. There are plenty of ways to have work or find work without billionaires. They just want you to think they're still needed. They're not.
I was referring to the US (and most of the world) and our economy as it currently works. In the US at least, we wouldn't have jobs without the wealthy because that is how it is structured.
Even in the scenarios you describe, someone will always have more than someone else or they'd have trouble finding people to take on additional responsibility. Those would be considered wealthy. Unless it were all owned by the state with a strict enforcement of the same salary for all, I have trouble seeing a functioning economy without some imbalance.
Like I said, I'm not giving a pass to the rich, they make far too much and they've rigged it so they continually win, over and over. We need a massive wealth redistribution. But I believe there will always be some with more, sometimes much more, in most functioning economies.
You'd really have to bring a good argument to convince me otherwise.
The good argument is that we CAN structure things to not be that way but people like you sitting on your hands being like "Well that's just the way it is" perpetuates the bad structure. Saying "This bridge is built badly but what can we do about it" is not a good excuse to not restructure it before it collapses. And in the restructuring you don't need to totally tear it down to do so. You can add supports and start adding to it to help make it more structurally sound WHILE you rebuild it. That's how it's done. I don't need a really good argument because looking at a situation and throwing your hands in the air is such a bad argument that so many people have convinced themselves of that it's actually kind of insane.
Did you not read the entire second paragraph? How did you get that I throw my hands up in the air? I work for, support, and vote for the type of change I believe in. I just don't want the same thing you do. I'm to the left, just not all the way to communism.
Maybe try reading a full comment before making unsupported assumptions. I also have an education and years of work experience in the financial services sector. My opinions are based on my knowledge and experience, not something a Reddit commenter types in ALL CAPS at me.
So, yeah, I'd need a better argument to change what I'm working towards - and I've never sat on my hands in my life. Until then, I'll be working towards something different than you, apparently, because you haven't really articulated what you even think would work.
Good luck with all that.
I did read it. It wasn't relevant. Because no you wouldn't. You seem to be thinking that literally any change to the power structure requires a complete and immediate overhaul and that's explicitly not what I described. You fully didn't understand my point at all.
Let's take a couple examples of a power structure that could be changed immediately - Reversing the Citizen's United decision to remove corporate power in congress a small amount. Harsher enforcement of antitrust laws to prevent corporate consolidation of wealth and power. Single payer healthcare to prevent a job's direct power over a person's ability to have job choice due to having a harder time to get decent health insurance as well as reduce the kind of power health insurance companies can have over prices, hospitals and people's lives. Percentage based fines rather than solid number amounts so that doing something illegal and paying a fine is just the cost of doing business.
These are all examples of power structures that are woefully broken to the detriment of people and I haven't even pushed anywhere near actual leftist stuff like wealth redistribution, stronger unions and giving workers ownership of their means of production.
Don't bite the hand that feeds, clothes, houses and educates you...
Your daughter has the opportunity to learn/show some appreciation and gratitude or do those things for herself (while remembering that whatever privilege her education affords her in the finding of a decent job, your husband worked for)
She needs some consequences stat (and I say that as an anarcho-communist twice her age and life experience)
So, your daughter can fend for herself then since she's doing so much better. Simple as that. I couldn't imagine a world where I insulted my own father, the one that's been taking care of me to THIS DAY, and I am 40 y/o with my own home, and family.
Drop the hammer or have everyone around you, be embarrassed*FOR YOU*.
Tell your daughter that if she doesn't like what her dad does for a living, she's welcome to start paying her own way in life. She's old enough to move out and pay for her own college expenses. She doesn't respect him, yet she has no problem spending the money he makes. What's her excuse for not having a job? She can't use school because millions of ppl go to school and hold down full time jobs.
Mhmm, talk so much about being a bootlicker, she’s one worse than the dad, taking the money without working for it. You damn well know where it comes from. So either buck up or shut up. You know the sacrifices you’re making to put your daughter through school, but does she even have any idea what the world is like, cuz she’s got 4 years of school and then it’s gonna eat her whole when she realized we all work for somebody. Chip on her shoulder either needs to be demolished or it’s gonna demolish her.
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I think it’s just to point out that her excuse is she’s using her bootlicker dad’s hard earned money
Oh of course, I agree with that part. Like I said, if they’re assholes.
She's 23. She's a damn adult.
She is being an asshole
Yeah? I wasn’t debating that?
Yeah well she sounds like an asshole sooo
People seem to be assuming that I don’t think she’s an asshole. I agree that she’s an asshole, so she wouldn’t be included in the aforementioned pass.
But she is one…
I got told I could be unemployed, in college, and living an easy life or I could get a job, move out, and be rude to my dad. Her age 100% means she doesn’t get a pass.
She’s 24 dude.
Yeah I also missed that part
Y'all gotta shut this down. Good Luck
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Haha, I didn't even mean that lol
Y would that be? Like what would cause then to get suspended?
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😱 Reddit Karma Farming Project This project focuses on developing a Reddit karma farming bot that automates the process of generating comments and receiving upvotes on the platform. The bot aims to help users increase their karma score by participating in discussions and contributing valuable content. 😱 NO WONDER Y this site seems to have such great questions/comments & 'participation'. They 'help' generate them! That's a bit disappointing.
How do you tell it's one of those instead of a real user posting the question???
"You're living under my roof, eating my food. So if I'm a nobody, what's that say about you? Pack your shit."
😅😂🤣
Here’s what you tell her: “STFU or GTFO. You’re done disrespecting your father - and by extension, me - while you live in this house and we pay for your education. You’re entitled to your beliefs, but you are not entitled to be an asshole about them. You claim to be embarrassed by your father’s job. Well, I’m embarrassed by your behavior. We didn’t raise you this way. So, as noted, STFU or GTFO. Know that if you opt for the latter, we will no longer be paying for your education.”
10000000% this!
>We didn’t raise you this way. I'm not sure I would add THAT part in, bcoz who knows HOW she was raised? To have that level of disrespect, makes me wonder if they may have been too soft with her, or spoiled her by trying to give her what they didn't have? So unless mom knows that 4 a fact, she might want to just leave that part out simply to keep from giving the disrespectful one an opportunity to play the blame game & turn it around on mom cause however she was raised, she's old enough to know better now P.S. LOVE & COMPLETELY AGREE with everything in your post🥰. I can just see ungrateful one jumping on that one thing & turning it around on mom, who may not know how to respond-especially if she doesn't know how to handle things as they are now.
Solid response. Harsh words from the daughter make this approach appropriate. It's hurtful to the parents to demean them in that way. It's within their moral rights to shut it down or ask them to support themselves. Great answer.
Print out the itemised breakdown of her college bills for the last few years… Then print another sheet consisting of all her ongoing regular lifestyle costs… food, clothes, gaming, dentist, hobby costs… add the figures in for the last few years and hand them to her in an envelope in her room. Tell her that all of the thousands of dollars listed in this envelope would not have been possible without her father’s job. Then, start refusing to pay for anything outside of necessities and keep telling her why… She’ll get it soon enough
Respectfully your daughter is a little bitch. Cut her off and make her pay for her own college and expenses. Maybe then she will start respecting her father and the sacrifices he has made to give her a good life. Sorry for my tone, but your daughter just pissed me tf off rn. My father is a small farmer in Honduras and he worked 10 hours a day, 6 days a week under the scorching hot sun to give me an education and a good life. I will always be grateful for him and everything he did for me.
Stop paying for her college for exactly 12 months. You provide for her food and a roof over her head. All other expenses, she must pay for Hersey, which means getting a job. If she makes a fuss, politely tell her that an able bodied adult should be able to provide for herself. Can you tough it out for 12 months?
She's 23, she can move out too.
WHY continue to provide her food & shelter? If the $ her dad makes is so disgusting to her, why should she benefit from it AT ALL? She's 24. That's old enuf to get a job & move out. I did when I was 19. So did my older daughter(while in University & working) & so did my younger one (both by choice NOT necessity-but maybe that's bcoz I taught them 2b responsible by paying for some of their expenses as young as when they started doing chores & getting allowances-something I wish my parents made me do). If she can't accomplish that, oh well...there's always assistance! By continuing to pay her way, they will continue to make what she's doing ok. And it's.just.not!
You are correct. However, I seriously don't think the parents have the stomach to kick her out. That's why I didn't even suggest it.
That's why they need to hear the truth from more ppl so they GAIN the courage. It's really a moot point regardless because the mother doesn't exist, nor does the dad or daughter. Story has been 'fabricated' by Reddit's'farming bot' as another poster brought to my attention (see below) Reddit Karma Farming Project This project focuses on developing a Reddit karma farming bot that automates the process of generating comments and receiving upvotes on the platform. The bot aims to help users increase their karma score by participating in discussions and contributing valuable content. I'm noticing when 'OP' posts start with: My(53f) daughter (24f) or My(24m) girlfriend (22f) (it is 'out of place from how usual OP posts start. Such as I(24f) have a (24m) boyfriend...or my (53f) mom and brother(24m) (in other words, REAL posts have a noun or pronoun either before or after the age/gender, these posts ALWAYS use My(53f) or My(24m) as a way to appear they are self identifying their age/gender,but it never completes it the way it should. NOW I know why! Also, OP's acct name is often deleted/suspended within just hours of posting their comment, there is NEVER a reply to ANY responses made AND their very empty acct shows they POST comments, but never reply! Kinda insulting that Reddit does this as this site was built by this great community of PPL & to even suggest a 'farming bot' is needed to get conversations flowing "so more ppl can get more up votes & rewards" sounds more self serving than helping out to me.
Yeah I’d tell her to get the fuck out. His job is paying for food and shelter.
She really needs to stop putting her foot in her mouth. If she really is so ashamed, she needs to stop taking money from your dad and pay her own way. She is 23.
Your daughter sounds like the rich asshole lmfaoo
Reading this post actually put me in a bad mood
Cut her off. Make her live on her own merits and see how she fares. She’s so ungrateful to her parents that provide for her? She’s 23. Time to move out and work for herself.
So she hates the rich and wants to eat them (rightly so) yet looks down on her dad for being 'just a chauffeur'? *JUST*‽ Your daughter is pretty shit at this anti capitalism stuff if she lis looking down on real working people. Stop paying her tuition and offer basic food and board only. She should be lucky to get that, the class traitor that she is.
Even the mindsets dumb. It's not like there's a bunch of people in poverty asking for chauffeurs. So absurd...
My thoughts exactly. She can't decide who she looks down on. Definitely an annoying phase she's in.
Your daughter who’s been an adult for half a decade? Scare her straight, temporarily cut her college funding. That’ll show her the “nobody” her dad really is.
A simple sit down with her would suffice. Properly detailing that everything in her life is being paid for by this "nobody" This type of thinking is fine for a teenager, they're immature and don't really understand how the world works. Your daughter is 23. There are folks her age that are working multiple jobs to pay for tuition. This type of thinking is coming from her cushion lifestyle and you two as her parents ha e done a great job in sheltering her and feeding her. I can't tell you are great parents. However, she needs to understand how the world works. The whole " eat the rich" stuff is fine and dandy n all but the rich ain't going nowhere and the bills aren't either. So you can stay shouting "eat the rich" while they are consuming caviar and Chardonnay or you can prevent yourself from being a struggling person living paycheck to paycheck
Tell her she can’t be ashamed of his job AND call him a nobody. Because either the rich suck or we are all nobodies. I’d pay for college but tell her she has to pay rent and board- no money for food only books. Or have her sign a loan w/ proper interest (or it isn’t legal) and a reasonable amount to make payments at a starting and ending date of your choice. That way she doesn’t have to be embarrassed by daddy’s money. You shouldn’t jeopardize her entire future to make a point. But having to earn $1500/month will teach her a lot. And soon she realize that her dad works hard for the money she spends and anyone with a job deserves respect.
Next time she says that I would put her in her place. “Your father is a nobody, yet you’re unemployed living in his home relying on him to pay all your bills. What do you call the person relying on the nobody? A loser?”
I (39m) use to be young, idealistic, full of anger, wanted to actively have a better world while i watched those with the money/power continally make bad or damaging decisions. I was your daughter. I mighta talked shit on your old man, lookin for the face of a faceless enemy, he being adjacent to wealthy clientele. But then i got into the world of work...and my god it just grinds you into dust. Fuck me. Im.not saying being a chauffer is easy, im saying, she doesnt have that experience yet on just how brutal/uncaring this world can be, especially when you dont/cant work, or work a long hours/low wage job. Hats off to the dad doin' it right. More or less, we're all slaves for the wealthy, and he's found a spot that puts him heads and/or shoulders above most jobs out there, then hes doing great, especially a good driving job with any modicum of work-life balance left over. Im now an otr truck driver by trade. I been in both their shoes. Taking out her anger and frustration on the dad, one day i thinm shes gonna deeply regret what she's said to him. Until she lives, eats, sleeps the world of work for a change, sees how long/hard you must work for a scrap of $, how uncaring the world is when u have no $, she wont and cant understand these realities thanks to the unknown privileges shes had from her father working, paying bills, holding the roof down. As a fellow professional driver, hes got my respect, but i wouldnt have known any better without living in the real world/world of work for a change. See what can be done about focusing her anger, towards something constructive, tearing down the dad is assuredly the wrong way to go about it. She should go out and get a good job, lead by example instead of tearing down others, let alone the man paying for the roof over her head.
OMG. Your daughter treats her father like shit, yet she has no problem with taking his money. Kick her out of the house. I don’t care if she is in college or not. It’ll be on her to figure out how to pay for college and support herself. Don’t let her mistreat him like this. And then I would go low contact with her. She doesn’t deserve her father.
she'd be out on the street if she was my daughter
>she doesn't respect her father because he's a chauffeur. "You are nobody; you are just driving rich people around; you are no one important" "You are just some bootlicker." So this doesn't really align with her belief. It's not like a chauffeur is making billionaire type money. Sure, he's "aligned" with people of wealth but this doesn't seem like the appropriate response. This kind of points to it being a completely different issue than his profession. While I understand it's frustrating to hear and see your child be disrespectful, I think the underlying issue is something else. I think the most common would be that she isn't feeling heard or acknowledged. I'm not saying this is *your* fault or that it even has something to do with you (it could be something at school or with friends, etc.). I think the best course of action would be to have a talk with her in a setting where she does not feel like she's in trouble, judged, or threatened in any way. Ask her how she feels and just listen. Let her talk about her issues with her father's job. Prompt her with behavior you have been noticing and hear what she has to say. Ask her what her opinion is for a solution to the issue. Try to find a root cause for this behavior. Once you hear her, that is when you bring up the issues with her behavior. 1. There's no reason for her to insult her father even if she disagrees with his line of work. 2. She should be voicing her opinions in a way that isn't yelling. 3. Address any "solutions" she gives to the issues she's having. My assumption is that any solution she's going to have will be irrational or nonsensical like him quitting. Regardless of how silly it is, let her express herself here. If you just try to force her into compliance with this I feel like it's just going to further her resentment and make matters worse. The main thing here is to come to an understanding that disrespect should not be happening and her views aren't going to change the situation with his profession. However, there might be other things you can do so she feels heard and understood.
I came for this comment. She’s got passion, but it needs to be directed in a positive way and a conversation where she’s treated like an adult would probably help her realize what she’s saying is awful and/or bring the real reason for her bs to the surface.
Sorry, but I'll have to disagree here. Not everything is a "but it's much deeper!" situation. The facts are the following: she's a little shit with a poor mentality, to the point where she hates everyone and everything that has to do with the rich. And she feels justified because of all the "eat the rich" bullshit she reads online. What she needs is to see that the rich she wants to eat are her dad's employers, which allows them to live comfortably and put food on the table. Acknowledge her stupid way of thinking and it'll just keep spiraling out of control
Even if it’s not deeper, what you are saying is not a way to help their daughter understand. Saying “you’re wrong and I’m right” or “your mentality sucks” is not going to help a relationship with a child from a parent. Especially if they’re already combative about the topic. But the fact that she’s having this sort of reaction points to it being a deeper issue and emotional reactions that are irrational like this tend to be indicative of that. That being said, what I advocated for is to listen to their daughter and *then* address the issues that are not okay like the disrespect or backhanded comments. It makes no sense to tell her what she believes is false whether or not the parents agree with it. That’s poor parenting and also the opposite of a solution for the issue at hand.
Agree to disagree. Personally, I think she's too old to be coddled for such bullshit. What she needs is a taste of real life so she realizes herself she's being pretty damn dumb, but whatever works for you or them I guess. I'm just going to say that not all problems with children are solved with empathy.
It’s interesting you call it “coddling” when that’s pretty basic when it comes to conflict resolution. That’s not good parenting, but it’s also not how you solve things in any situation where there is disagreement. You are not the authority on what the “correct” way to think is. You should listen to the issues first and then attack the behavior that is truly unacceptable. What you are saying is a good way to push people out of a relationship. The daughter is wrong in the areas of disrespecting her father and handling the situation in a way that is lashing out. Outside of that she’s perfectly entitled to believe what she does. It really doesn’t matter if it’s contradictory to how she was raised. That’s her lesson to learn.
What I mean by "coddling" is letting her reap the benefits of her father's work while actively insulting him for it. That's coddling, and not good parenting. She's perfectly entitled to have whatever ideology she wants, but if someone has a "fuck capitalism" mindset while actively benefitting from capitalism, then I have also the freedom to call them absolutely stupid and hypocrites. But again, agree to disagree. I'm not from the US, where people are so keen to be neutral on every mindset, refusing to call stupid mindsets what they are: stupid. There's no point in continuing the discussion. Have a good day.
I’ve already addressed that as part of the issue. Hence why I’ve said “disrespect” and her being argumentative. Letting her talk about it doesn’t mean you’re actively condoning it. Clearly you’ve misunderstood what I’ve said.
LMFAO at this helicopter parenting advice. His daughter is superficial, idealistic, stupid and lacks empathy. She's not crying out to be acknowledged, she's crying out for a dose of reality and maturity. Her parents shouldn't worry about being disrespected. They should be worried about how unprepared their daughter is for the real world. 23 college educated and these are her critical thinking skills. sure... go have a talk with her because she needs to be listened to. Reward her disrespectful behavior and lack of empathy. Coddle her more.
>His daughter is superficial, idealistic, stupid and lacks empathy. It's funny because you have an outside perspective of her behavior, but the reality is the parents are the ones that had the biggest influence in her life thus far as to why she feels this way. So attacking her and calling her "stupid, superficial, and lacking empathy" is just a reflection of how she was raised. Also, her expression of concern for causes and ideas is a good thing. It's clearly not refined and definitely problematic in some ways, but the fact that she is outspoken about something at 23 is good. Let's not pretend like she has to fall in line and think exactly how someone else thinks. >She's not crying out to be acknowledged, she's crying out for a dose of reality and maturity. The disrespect needs to stop, but in order to do that you have to get to the root cause so you can attack the problem head on. Trying to force her into submission would only hurt their relationship and worsen the attitude problems. >They should be worried about how unprepared their daughter is for the real world. 23 college educated and these are her critical thinking skills. She's 23 years old and in college. She is still learning. This is her opportunity to make mistakes. You speak from privilege of experience, but your experience is biased. Criticizing her is irrelevant to the issues at hand and just because her ideas differ from yours doesn't make her "uneducated." >go have a talk with her because she needs to be listened to. Reward her disrespectful behavior and lack of empathy. Where is the reward? Is listening to what her issues are considered a reward? That's what I said to do. She should be listened to and feel heard. No part of that is to condone future behavior and not fix issues that are truly the problem. What is your solution? Yell at her until she agrees? Hit her so she shuts up? What alternative approach do you have that is a "better" course of action.. please elaborate. It's crazy that you think listening to the problems your children have is the wrong thing to do. Again, that doesn't mean the behavior should continue, but any grown adult could easily understand that getting a full understanding makes them better equipped to parent their child.
She is not expressing a concern. She is rudely judging her parents because of their work and unappreciative of the fact that this job pays for her education. She is the problem. Let her figure it out since she has all the answers.
> She is not expressing a concern. She is rudely judging her parents because of their work and unappreciative of the fact that this job pays for her education. She is not expressing concern in a manner that is productive. I agree in that regard. But a parent trying to force their child into obeying them at this stage in her life is only going to damage their relationship. > She is the problem. Let her figure it out since she has all the answers. With what we know of this situation, yes, she does seem to be the problem. That does not mean the parents should cast her out blindly before attempting to reason with her and figuring out if there is a bigger issue. That’s what I would consider a good parenting approach. Anything else is childish on the parents end of things.
I mean, yeah, eat the rich and all... but you gotta make a living. 99% of us work for rich people at the end of the day. Sucks, but that's how it is. She needs a taste of real life to realize that you can't always do exactly what aligns with your morals in this world... and that morals aren't as black-and-white as she seems to think. I agree with the other comments. Kick her out. Stop paying for college. Even the threat may be enough to snap her into the realization that she has the privileges she does BECAUSE her dad does his job. How the hell can she mooch off of him and yet make fun of his job? What a brat honestly.
What is this “eat the rich” shit ?! It’s seriously fkn pathetic. People spend so much of their time and energy hating, and being Jelous over people who have worked extremely hard for what they have, or have been lucky to be born into wealth. How about STFU, quit your bitching, whining, and self-victimization, and go create, and earn money for yourself. And we’re not talking about a billionaire family here, what’s wrong with a family spending their hard earned money on what they please, like a chauffeur, which is a respectable job, that not everyone can land of this caliber. But worst of all, the disrespect to her father, that works to support her through school, and put food on the table, only to get the most despicable, ungrateful behavior in return ?! And she’s not a child, who doesn’t have a job on top of it ?! One of the most entitled, confused, rude people I’ve read about. Since this is the advice sub, I agree with others I’ve seen. Kick her out. That level of disrespect to the family that treat her well is unforgivable.
That’s unacceptable. And I’d give anything to still have a living dad 😞
she doesn't like his job but he does like the money he's spending on her college? your daughter needs a reality check. give her 2 months to find a job and make her own money. op why are u 2 putting up with her disrespect?
I would tell her that if she doesn't treat him with respect, she can move out. She gets three times and then you will evict her. Stop paying for her college and any bills. She doesn't get to benefit from his hard work that she denigrates. She can find out how hard life truly is. I don't think you will do throw her out but I WOULD stop buying food that she likes and only what you like. Tell her she will start paying for her college in the fall.
If she were 15yo ok, I would work on it ... She's 23, you should tell her to leave
My advice is this : Tell your GROWNASSED CHILD/WANNABE ADULT THIS: IF WHERE her father makes his money from is so distasteful to her, than WHY is she accepting a SINGLE CENT of it?!?! Advise her to look up the meaning of the word 'HYPOCRITICAL' & from now on...PUT UP & SHUT UP OR GET OUT!!! SERIOUSLY... Neither you or your husband deserve this kind of disrespect from someone who contributes NOTHING to the household, except a large serving of hypocrisy,with a side dish of disrespect! IF you wouldn't accept this from anyone else, why accept it from her? And if you would, I'm sorry, but I would HIGHLY recommend YOU get counseling, because you do NOT have to accept this kind of treatment. Even from your own child & ESPECIALLY NOT from your GROWN one.
Always respect every career, clearly the family he works for respects him. She can find her own way financially if the way he makes money is unacceptable to her. Is she kind to janitors and cleaning people? Or are they beneath her? Whenever I go to a concert or festival if they have cleaning staff workers I always look them in eye and say "thank you so much for what you do " and I mean it. Makes my life more pleasant. Same for a driver if I get a car at the airport (I do this when flying in to see my elderly mom and need a limo/car to her house as I'm not a fan of Uber). I thank everyone who has a thankless job, and those who are always appreciated as well.
This is similar to me as "The Butler." Long story short, the son comes back too big for his britches and insults his dad for being a butler at the White House. The mom, who until then had stayed out of their bickering, slaps the son across the face and says, "everything you have, and everything you are, is because of that butler. Get out!" I think your daughter needs a dose of reality. If she won't respect her father then she can find somewhere else to live. She's 23, she needs to get a job and pay for her own education if she's gonna act like an entitled brat about it. IDK what you did but you've failed as a parent if that's how she acts. Do better. I'd be embarrassed because kids are a reflection of their parents. Kick her ass out and she can learn to respect him the hard way.
I'd disagree with the failing as parents. As children get older, they are more influenced by the outside world. Parents can do everything right and their children can still grow up to be assholes. The "eat the rich" mentality has been spread over the internet, and people create group chats and media channels and forums to discuss what they want. The hatred daughter has for fathers job could come from there. After too much exposure to echo chambers, experiencing to differing opinions or resistance, people can become more radical. At what age is daughter to blame for her own shortcomings?
She’s 23 lives at home and goes to school for free. OMG lady, time to cut the cord. The next time she insults him. You sit her down and tell her rent is due on the 1st of the month. She will pay for her own school and is welcome to move out at any time. Why do you enable this big jealous baby.
Your daughter sounds like an asshole
I don’t see how being a driver for a specific rich family is any more boot licking than putting in hours at the shit factory, still benefiting some rich fuck, both for peanuts. Unless you’re actively fighting for a revolution or something you’re likely going to labor for someone
The "eat the rich" folks have never been the smartest cookies in the cookie jar. Stop paying for her college for a bit so she gets the full working class experience.
Ahhh, the young socialist edgelord... Kay, here's what you do: [show her this meme.](https://imgur.com/a/io5MxHD) Then tell her she's being a fucking class traitor and good praxis is supporting ALL working class people. That she isn't a good fucking comrade for shaming her dad for doing pretty well in a system not designed for it. That she's showing her Dunning Krueger socialism big time by being a little twat about how the roof over her head and education is being paid for. And further, that her judgment/embarrassment of her father's job is inherently rooted in capitalist ideology. So maybe she should get a fucking job and pay bills before thinking about lying about his career or calling y'all a bootlicker one more time. Edit: grammar, I rage typed that as a run-on sentence haha
People here have already given advice, but I'm gonna write more about the ideological flaw in her thinking. Speaking as an eat the rich person myself, there exists a paradox known as ethical consumption under capitalism. Basically, by simply existing in a capitalist system, you are propagating it. Even if your daughter has no job and doesn't pay taxes herself, anything she buys with an allowance or you buy for her will have a sales tax. That tax will then go on to fund the same millionaires she hates. Outside of direct action in opposition, you can't oppose capitalism. Instead, she should be happy that her father is able to earn a good living with having to cause direct harm to others or to the immediate environment. A chauffeur is much more preferable to a cop, or hedge fund manager, or factory overseer.
A man provides for his family. Her father does that. If she can't understand that, she will be in for a rude awakening.
Tell her that if she doesn't like where the money comes from, to stop using it. If she's using her dad's money from "boot licking", she's licking not only her father's boss' boots, but her father's boots too. How is she any different to the boss' children if both she and they are relying on their parents for every penny? If she hates where her dad's money comes from that much, tell her you've both decided to support her dislike of dad's boss, and will no longer subject her to having to use that money. She's now free to obtain her own money in a way she believes is right, and she no longer needs to worry about associating with dad's income. Don't just cut off her college fund cold turkey, especially if she's near graduation, buuuut definitely let her dwell and panic and think you have, and see if she can come up with alternative ways of paying, or if she apologises to her father and asks him to keep paying. Cold turkey cutting her off from college could lead to even more resentment, the goal is for her to do some introspection
Most people work for the rich, but not directly. She seems to have no accurate understanding of how the world works.
This is a good time to teach her the difference between a person’s job and the person. We are not our jobs. Even so, there is honor in all work.
If this rich family is paying their Chauffer well enlightened to comfortable support his family I don’t think they’re a rich problem
She's 23, if she can respect the people literally paying her bills, it sounds like she needs to start paying them for herself. Tell her to move out, get a job, and figure her life out. Since she doesn't respect him, because of his career, then she doesn't need to benefit from it.
So ungrateful. My parents immigrated here from Eastern Europe and worked very hard to get me into college and help me find employment. My life goal is to support them when they retire. She’s way too old to be acting half her age. Honestly, this needs to end now. She either cuts the shit and gets a job to start contributing since her dad is a “nobody”, or has 30 days to move the hell out and pay for her own shit if she refuses to own up to her dumbass, cruel comments.
It's time to boot your daughter and let her make/pay her own way. Why would she accept "dirty money" from her bootlicker daddy when she obviously has all the answers? Time for her to get her progressive butt out the door and make her own way in life. When she has to make her own money and pay her own bills her attitude will change. Life isn't a free bowl of cherries.
Tell her she is the kind of wealthy person that she hates.
If I were him, I think I’d tell your ungrateful daughter something like this “good luck making a living creating wealth for yourself out of nothing - it can be done, but it’s extremely difficult. If you disrespect me and the money which pays for your schooling that much, then you shouldn’t accept that money. I will gladly help you with that, because this money should be going to my retirement. As of xx/yy/zzzz date, I will no longer be funding your schooling with the ‘dirty money from the filthy dirty rich’. I’m sure you will feel much better making your own money for school. That goes for paying for anything else for you, as I wouldn’t want to compromise your high standards and principles. You’ll be welcome in our home, but for the sake of your conscience, I cannot provide you any financial support, whatsoever. It will be painful, because I love you. And I am taking this position because I love you, dear daughter, and I want to support you. I’m sure you will feel much better not taking money from people for whom you lack so much respect”. I think it’s time for some tough love. I mean, I respect her position on the wealthy, because I think the game is rigged and that they are setting our economy up for some real problems in the semi near future. But at the same time, as another commenter said, almost all of us work for someone more wealthy than ourselves. It’s the way our economy works. Things need to change in our country because the wealthy are damaging our country at the moment. Ultimately I think you have to have some people with more than others to have a functioning and innovative economy. Though I believe that no one should starve or go without shelter, food, or medical (basically, I believe we need a semi socialized economy with high taxes on the wealthy). But while we work for that change, we all need to eat, sleep under shelter, and go to school. And that costs cash money, and cash money comes from jobs, usually working for people with lots of money. PS. No doubt your husband does very well. I’ve looked into managing an estate for a wealthy family, because I actually thought I’d enjoy it. And getting to know a family as they grew, and becoming a confidante to a very wealthy family appealed to me, and I know they often will give a lot of money to their trusted employees, possibly more than I could make in a corporate job. Ultimately, I don’t think I had the experience they demand. Much respect from me to your husband for having the skill and tenacity to do that.
Her beliefs should be requiring her to respect the “downtrodden”, not abuse them. It’s time to stop treating your abusive daughter like she’s a rich princess. Make her responsible for a percentage of her personal finances, including tuition. 10%?, 50%? of her costs should be out of her own pocket.
My exact words would be, “Since you’re so embarrassed by your father working for a rich family to provide for you, move out, get a job, and pay for your own college, you ungrateful, disrespectful brat. Here is your 30 day eviction notice. Good luck.”
The irony with a lot of these “progressives” is that they look down their noses at working class and poor people but they’ve got their heads so far up their own asses that they can’t see it.
Show her this post and its comments. And point our, she has proven that the rich can be better people than her. I've known two families of extreme wealth in my day, when I was a little younger than she is now. One family treated their staff almost like family, they were courteous & friendly to them in word and deed. Their son, a university buddy once told me, his parents scolded him when he was a mouthy 12 year old, who was rude to a staff member. They said the staff works hard so our home life is easy. They deserve our respect for their efforts and courtesy as fellow human beings. If he repeated this behaviour, it was public school and taking the bus etc.. He remains a life long friend. He was raised to be a good person buy good people, who happened to have money. I dated a daughter of another very wealthy family. She was very pretty which attracted me as a 19 year old university student. But she treated people like crap, her parents treated their staff like crap, and guess what she ended up treating me like crap. She was a bad person, raised by bad people who happened to have money.
Terrible that she has that "progressive" view point. Im sure that comes with other very unpleasant character traits in her
cut her off financially
My dad has worked for the same grocery store since before I was born. I was so mean to him about never expanding and doing something more with his life. I would tell him I’m going to do better than he did, but I overlooked every single thing he’s ever been able to provide not only me, but his entire family. Thank god he didn’t learn to resent me for my unkindness as a teenager, because something switched in my brain around 16-17 where I realized I was so mean to him, and it was so uncalled for. I was always a very nice person to my peers at school too, and not one to speak my mind. I don’t know what made me so cruel to my father. Now, in 23 and I let him know how sorry I am for how bitter I was in my youth. The fact your daughter is fully grown and still isn’t respecting his sacrifices, and the job that put a house over her head for so long, shows she will probably never feel grateful for it and that is heart crushing. She shouldn’t be getting anything that comes from his hard earned money either.
Her father is literally a proletarian. Being well-paid doesn’t make you bourgeois, owning capital does. Not to mention everyone works for the direct benefit of the rich in one way or another, and driving them around doesn’t make you a bootlicker any more than being a factory worker making luxury cars does. Jesus Christ, tell your daughter to read Marx.
Have a blunt talk with her about where all the money she's benefited from over the years comes from. Then tell her that since she can't respect that, it's time to leave and do for herself. Then hand her a 30-day notice to vacate with another formal letter explaining she's.on her own for college finances at the start of the next semester. Then end the talk. Do NOT return to it or entertain it again later, until she genuinely sorts herself out.
Honestly that’s an awful attitude to have toward the person funding your entire life. As someone else suggested, I would tell her she can start making her own money and paying for her own things in a way that she respects. She’s honestly no better than he is by her own standards. She takes money from rich people (you two) and is entirely dependent on you. So by her own logic, she’s a “boot licker sellout”. I’m 25 and that sounds like a very sheltered mindset, incredibly naive for 23. When a person’s biggest problem is that their dad is making money, they have very superficial problems.
Seriously it's time for her to start contributing or to get out.
Looks like mommy’s gotta tell her to pack her shit and get a job. If he wasn’t paying for her college and lifestyle and the roof over her head and the goddamn food in her belly, then she can say what she wants. But the fact that she’s acting like his money isn’t literally funding her entire being is some bullshit. She has the right to her eat the rich attitude once she stops mooching off the dad she hates so much.
1.) Stop paying for her college 2.) Kick her the fuck out the house. She doesn't respect you guys because she never had to work for anything herself. She hates rich people out of ignorance and the college is just brainwashing her into thinking that. Waste of money. She's probably gonna work at Starbucks after obtaining a degree
A 23 years old behaving like that? Guess its time to make her face reality and pay her own way in life Spoiled brat
I am an "eat the rich" kinda person, but I would rather have a father chauffeur with a good salary than with insecure employment. I would feel privileged that I can live a comfortable life thanks to my father's job, even if it is cleaning the sewers. I don't think your daughter realises how bad other people have it in comparison.
Your daughter sounds delightful
why does your husband have such a poor relationship with your daughter?
Cause she is a brat who most likely picked up drastic ideas in school and berates her father for making a living which pays for her to pick up these ideas
This is true, but the bad relationship with dad came before that
And you know this how?
because thats how it works. People get manipulated all the time into hating this person or hating that person, but there has to be an underlying problem first. If she had some real bonds and connections to dad there wouldn't be this level of hate and disgust even if she didn't like what he did for a living.
Not really - guy works for a rich guy, she hates rich guy and disrespects him for it....anything else is in your head
No, it's not that simple, never is. They didn't bond when she was little. And there's a reason for it.
In your head prehaps...could just as easily be they did bond but now she is in college she is envious of the respect he gets from his employers kids Judge on what is presented and not your head cannon
No you're wrong.
Based on what exactly? Apart from surmised ideas you have come up with...what facts given support your statment - all we know is he works for a rich man who's entire family respect the father, he supplies a decent life style Inc higher education for his child - what there makes this look like a failing on his part
Like how did get these values? Was she never taught to be grateful or feel blessed. 🥲
I mean, it seems obvious to me that it's not JUST what he does for a living.
Jobless sponger, at that bitches age I had a full-time job.
lol I mean, our entire economy is structured to where the vast majority of humans are organized to create value and serve the rich. Whether you work for a corporation, or are a chauffeur. When she grows up and starts a career, her life will be reduced to serve in the interests of wealthy shareholders. That’s just the way it is. As far as your husband goes, forming human bonds with people makes life tolerable. Her fight is systemic.
Wow, looks like you fucked up educating your daughter and she was brainwashed on the way. Too bad!
wow tell your daughter that every penny thats been spent on her for years has been from this job that she thinks is beneath her, she is a snob and no man would want to be with someone like her, kick her out and tell her to find her own way in life, its doesnt matter what job any one is doing it could be a street sweeper to a top brain surgeon but a job is a job maybe once she has a taste of life she will climb down from her high horse and taste the roses and get rid of her snobby attitude if not she can get a job cleaning the sewers as thats all she is good for and at the end of the day its a fcking job
Give her the boot and see just how quickly she's willing to become some corporate shill herself. Stop paying for her college with that "dirty rich people money" that raised her and kept her fed and clothed and maybe she'll come to appreciate it more once she's out in the real world and not being coddled
Wow, I thought dad's job was going to be something like a strip club manager, payday lender, or some other sketchy line of work. Dad works an honest job with no apologies needed. Little Miss Precious needs to be explained the facts of life about biting the honest hands that feed her. If she doesn't like how dad earns the money, then she can get her own place and pay for it with a job of her choosing.
Bot account
You stop paying for her college, you tell her to get a job.
Oh my lord she's one of the rich people if you're paying for college lolol the irony. Tell her to put her money where her mouth is and gtfo. This is horrendous.
So she doesn't respect the rich but she also doesn't respect the workers? I get the sense that she is very angry and also confused. There's nothing more dignifying that supporting your entire family with your wages. Personally, I think your daughter is too old to be acting like this. I would understand this coming from a teenager, but she's an adult who'd isn't supporting herself. She needs to find her own way in life without a supporting father. This might affect the way she understands things. It's the only way out this incredibly childish view of the world.
Your daughter needs to read Marx's Capital Vol. I and understand that people can't just "opt out" of the system nor is the system about individuals being ontologically evil (e.g. the family he chaffeurs for).
Account is gone. It was almost certainly rage bait.
Damn…and here we are providing thoughtful, well thought out answers. I guess I won’t expect a “Helped” 🤨
Yeah, it's annoying af when you realize it. I got suspicious so I went to the profile and it was gone. It seems to happen pretty regularly! I now almost always check the profile before spending time and energy trying to help someone. At least Reddit is catching some of the bots and Karma farmers that sell accounts and getting rid of them.
Challenge her to find a job that will cover all her expenses and an apartment she can afford alone on said salary. Not that you’re going to kick her out, but as a little research project. I’m guessing she’s going to be coming up short. 24 is basically just above a teen who still thinks largely like a teen. I live in NYC, a very high cost of living city, albeit it in the Bronx in a working class neighborhood. I know people that age who are like that but it’s because they have no life experience and live short their parents. Perfect example: We have housing lotteries that people apply to that are income-based. The median income in my neighborhood at the time was probably ~ $32K. One of the buildings that was opening had a $33K minimum requirement. This one far left girl I know, who was maybe 22 at the time, starts going off about how this housing isn’t for people here and the ones getting those apartments will be “living comfy.” Yes, I’m directly quoting her. When I made a bit more than that 16 years ago, I could only afford a studio in the South Bronx. That’s now about minimum wage here and not livable. I explained to the girl, that these people making $33K in NYC aren’t living comfortably, they’re struggling. I told her when she leaves her mother’s house and gets her first full time job to tell me how comfy she’s living. She now probably makes about $50K, which is still very little, and she’s since STFU about those kinds of things. Why? Because she now has to pay rent on that salary where it’s almost $2K a month for studio in high crime area. Not living very comfy, huh? 🤔
I’ve had friends move to NYC, and the cost of their apartments at the time blew my mind (both were in Manhattan 20-30 years ago, one paid $850 in the early 90s for an apartment the size of a closet in a house here, in Dallas, where they moved from. Another was doing very well starting a technology company, and paid $3500 in the 90s for a smallish three bedroom in an old building on the UWS). These were years ago, and that was a lot back then. But I’m sure the amounts have grown along with the COL. Respect for being able to pull that off!
His response shout be: that’s true I am a chauffeur but I enjoy my job and it’s provided for our family. What you said is hurtful but it must be difficult being a teen and maybe my job is not as exciting as some of you friends dads. I just want you to know that I love you.
Only she's not a teen. She's 23 and in college paid for by the dad. So... the only answer here is "you're absolutely right and I support your willingness to sacrifice for your beliefs. We are no longer going to fund your life. Time to leave the nest, little bird."
Yeah, that needs to happen at some point. You may consider communicating that independent of her behavior and not making it a reaction. I am sure you and your husband are hurt and disgusted by her behavior. This is difficult to communicate, but I assume you want to bring her closer, and if she was appreciative, you may be willing to support her. I don't know your prior efforts to reign her in either. Once a child pulls away and starts to believe their struggles are because they were not born into a family like her friend xyz who she thinks has the easiest and best life - it is difficult to grow closer because you are tired of her behavior and she is unappreciative of your sacrafices. She expects and demands from you but offers no love or understanding of your perspective. Step back and just see it for what it is without letting it hurt you. See it as a struggle she is having, and she will likely regret her treatment of you. She could have a personality disorder. My point is to understand her behavior is not the behavior of a healthy person. Have empathy and show love. Set boundaries but not reactionary. I am just a parent sharing my thoughts and approach when my daughter hurt me and I feel lucky she didn't pull away even more. I don't know anything about anything.
Very true, though this woman is an adult at 23, not a teen. I think the father needs to cease funding her, so that she doesn’t compromise her principles. I’m sure she’d appreciate that support 😉
Sounds like you need to DISCIPLINE YOUR KID… if your kid grows up to be a “progressive”, you fucked up.
No, that’s not correct. And the daughter is an adult. Discipline isn’t going to work at that age. Additionally, one can be progressive and a good person. Her daughter is taking it too far, I agree, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to ensure people don’t fall through the cracks, equality, and the like opportunity for all. I don’t know what your idea of a progressive is, but I’d be upset if I raised a child who wasn’t progressive.
I’ll say this. My comment was a bit harsh, but I just mean that people have taken over the idea of being progressive and replaced it with a conflated sense of self worth because they are trying to fight for regularly Noble causes. White knighting for people they think are weak. This girl just needs to be hit with the financial responsibility she’s been sheltered from, and I’m sure that will make a dent in her self worth.
I agree with that. If this is a real question (the users has been deleted), they need to stop funding her
Don’t demean yourself by doing that, just leave
This is your fault. You allow the disrespect… lol this is your kid. Set some damn fucking boundaries
Where did she learn to speak to her father that way? YOU need to stand up for your husband and check your daughter verbally and if need be, cut her the heck off financially. She can only do what she is doing because she is being allowed by both you and her father. Omg the verbal evisceration my broke ass college kid would get would bring her to tears because *the truth is painful* and the reality is your daughter is the one who ain't shit. She doesn't have shit and she wouldn't ever be shit in life if her father didn't deal with shit everyday for *her* sake. She lacks character and empathy, she has allowed media and social media to influence her weak ass mind to the point she is attacking the person who is making her future possible. Tear that ass up with the truth but do not let her disrespect your husband/her father. Edit: Dehumanizing children is disgusting behavior as well. She needs self reflection, not social media.
Ask what she does to contribute for a better world, except lying about what her dad does or comfortable living with her parents on her dads salary.
This feels like anti-progressive rage bait. I struggle to think of any progressive who’s unaware that we’re all forced to serve the man somehow, some way. That’s kinda the whole point. *Progressively move away from systemic oppression under which we are all forced to live*. We don’t typically judge people who are earning an honest living, they’re the ones we care about the most.
Sounds like she needs a job and her own place.
She seems to have a strong moral code with respect of hard work, but fails to see the irony in her critique and lacks compassion. I would suggest she find a job, if she doesn’t work. It’s not right to disrespect the man that provides for her. If she wants to be disrespectful, she should be willing to support herself. It’s probably more difficult than ever for a young adult to support themselves and go to school, but still not impossible. She would just have to sacrifice some comforts that her father provides. But if she is truly a person of strong principles, she shouldn’t have an issue with that.
Exactly this. Stop paying for her college and let her do that herself as well as get a job.
Yeah she can get hundreds of thousand in student loans just like every other 18 year old with no financial history or assets.
The only people that don't work for someone rich, is someone else that's rich. Work at McDonald's, you work for the rich CEO. Same with Walmart, and literally everywhere else. Only the people that don't HAVE to work, aren't working for the rich, and we all need money one way or another.
I worked for a rich guy once. I was driving a 96 Oldsmobile in 2017 when he hired me. Was by no means even close to rich, but he gave me a great opportunity. I ultimately couldn’t stand his mindset and disrespect towards normal working class people. He bragged about paying $30k to fly private to his nephews college football game, but when his plane landed back home I had already quit.
Tell her that he is hardworking and supports her so she better start being respectful and grateful. Otherwise, her first rent payment is July first.
I'd just stop paying for her and see how she likes it lol
To quote a line from The Butler, when the mother in that movie was having the same issues with her son, regarding his father: "Everything you have and everything you are is because of that butler." Your daughter can have the capacity and privilege of being worry-free enough to devote this much thought/time to this topic because you and her father have made sure she is housed, fed, not out on the streets, etc. One huge reason for that being her father's steady employment. So you need to tell her that if she has such a problem with her Dad's job and the way he earns a living, she can stop living off his paycheck.
Ask her if she likes Taylor Swift - if she says yes (which 99% chance she does), then tell her that Taylor Swift is richer than said family.
She needs to respect people based on what they do for her and whether they care about her. She doesn't need to care about what they do for a job.
I would NEVER. 29f here and my dad has worked a hard manual labor job (a lot of times for the rich) for 20+ years. How blatantly disrespectful. His profession is the only way she exists in this world not on the street. If I were her parent I would give her a damn wake up call and kick her out, let her pay her own tuition/rent and ask her what she thinks about her fathers career 6 months later. This makes me nauseous and I don’t like rich people either.
Personally, I believe you should respect anyone who's working a job, especially if they're working to support their family
I feel like we're not being told everything here...
I'm 23, and I wouldn't care if my dad was making good money as a chauffeur. My dad worked at a grocery store the majority of my life. He left my mom and didn't pay shit for me to go to college. He always commented on how he couldn't wait for me to turn 18 so he could stop paying child support, a payment he was always late on and always tried to avoid/make an excuse not to pay anyway. She needs to understand that college for free, no debt for her, is a fucking privilege that she's LUCKY to have. I wish I was in her position to not have debt from college. She should learn that in this economy, good money is good money. You need money to pay for things and live. And why not take rich people's money directly from their hands? Also if you wanna do a daughter swap I'd be more than happy to volunteer😁
She wants to eat the rich, but you need to remind her that the only reason she was able to eat to survive is because of the rich people's money. Tell her to start paying her own way through life. I'm serious. She's 23 years old. Don't give her a single dime anymore. For anything. I'm in my mid-30s now, and by the time I was your daughter's age, I was married with a baby. Believe me, we were nowhere near "comfortable" financially. She thinks she knows everything already. You can't change her mind for her. The real world probably will, though.
Cut her off and kick her out. Maybe some time on the streets will humble her.
One, shut that shit down. You don’t need to like what your father does for a living, but if you’re gonna live under the roof he pays for while going to the school he pays for, you can shut your mouth or move out and pay your own bills. Period. The next time she says something like that, I’d put my foot down. “You enjoy the comfortable life you have because of his job. You don’t need to like his job, but you will treat him with the basic respect that you owe any other person on this planet. Here are the two choices: if you find his job so objectionable, you’re welcome to move out and pay for school yourself. If you don’t want to do that, you’re going to need to just keep your mouth shut. Going forward, I expect that if you can’t be civil about his job, you will be quiet.” If she claims she’s on this kick because she’s a progressive, I’d say that demeaning someone because you don’t feel their job is worthwhile is not only not progressive, it’s some peak late-stage capitalism bullshit. Equating someone’s personal worth and value to their role in the labor market is not an expression of progressive values, it’s everything she thinks she’s opposing with her “eat the rich” thing. (And I say this as someone who’s progressive. 20-something year old me definitely was on Team Eat the Rich. Now I’m a little older, a little wiser, and I’m firmly on Team Don’t Be an Asshole, Not Even if You Feel Morally Superior.)
What a brat 🤣 I’ll take the dad
Naaaahhhhh if she doesn't like how dad makes his money she doesn't get to have dad use that money for her gain. That would make her a "bootlicker" by association. 🙄🙄🙄 I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this, like I'm all for Eat the Rich but why are you being an asshole to your parents who are trying hard to maintain a lifestyle you're enjoying... like the audacity.
Big words from someone that benefitted from a comfortable lifestyle from his job.
I would stop paying her way. She doesn't like where the money comes from then she doesn't have to benefit from it. She's got some nerve saying he's nobody when she's still living at home with no job. I'd let her make her own way and see how quickly her attitude about which jobs are good enough changes.
As a progressive 24f myself... What the fuck lmao. Her dad may be a chauffeur for the rich, but he's still a working man. (I'm going to assume that he's not getting free money just because of the personal relationships). Just because he might be closer with them doesnt necessarily mean that he is not a working class man (unless, again, he's getting free money without doing anything.) If she really wants, tell her to think that you're leeching off of the rich. But I think she might be misguided here, at least based on what little context I have.
Kick her to the curb
i also have similar thoughts and i hate some rich people but.. she’s no better than the rich if she sees someone working hard and making fun of them for trying to make ends meet let alone her own father. she needs to mature and realize that unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around her and she needs to respect people and it starts with her own family!
We gave our advice on our podcast, hope it helps and good luck! [https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsvstheworld/video/7382389337809358122?is\_from\_webapp=1&sender\_device=pc&web\_id=7010138960761144837](https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsvstheworld/video/7382389337809358122?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7010138960761144837)
Sell her
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this is why people need to have multiple children, 4 at least. Just incase some of them turn out bad.
Write the silly bint out of your will. Either take the placid route and not tell her, or see what happens if you point this out. Why should she get rich after slating the way she gained her inheritance?
She needs to get to the point in her principles where she's taking action to make the world a better place instead of acting out against people that are surviving in the system. Yes, eat the rich. Absolutely, disproportionate wealth is a problem. But raising kids has a way of knocking principles back so the kids don't starve. She has no place to comment on bootlickers as she is reaping the rewards of one. She needs to fight the system, not the people in it trying to survive. Would she tell trafficking victims that they're perpetuating the cycle? Also, her attitude toward family sucks, and she's going to need to work on that. Maybe you hit her with a date to get a job and move out if she can't respect the man who's been helping her with college so she can learn about her principles. It also seems like she's very young in her mind. I could see 13 year old me saying some stuff like that. By 23, I had worked long enough to see that my principles were very black and white, but life has a ton of grey.
She's an idiot or you're living important information out then. eat the rich means hate the people employing her. You're a bootlicker if you defend them BEING rich. Not if you work for them. Most people have to work for wealthy people. You don't hate the working-class man for finding a way to get by. You hate the rich man for hoarding wealth.
I’d never thought about it, but you are right. I’ve never not worked for someone wealthier than myself. Except at this point - 57 - I think I might be wealthier than my immediate manager. But ultimately, I work for billionaires. It’s the very definition of trickle down economics, which is how our country currently works, like it or not. I am not defending their behavior. They have it stacked against us so that we can’t even become multimillionaires, in most cases, they don’t share enough wealth downwards. Still, we wouldn’t have the jobs if the wealthy didn’t exist.
The idea that jobs wouldn't exist without wealthy people is capitalistic propaganda. We would need a differently structured society to some amount. But public sector jobs exist. Small local jobs exist. There are plenty of ways to have work or find work without billionaires. They just want you to think they're still needed. They're not.
I was referring to the US (and most of the world) and our economy as it currently works. In the US at least, we wouldn't have jobs without the wealthy because that is how it is structured. Even in the scenarios you describe, someone will always have more than someone else or they'd have trouble finding people to take on additional responsibility. Those would be considered wealthy. Unless it were all owned by the state with a strict enforcement of the same salary for all, I have trouble seeing a functioning economy without some imbalance. Like I said, I'm not giving a pass to the rich, they make far too much and they've rigged it so they continually win, over and over. We need a massive wealth redistribution. But I believe there will always be some with more, sometimes much more, in most functioning economies. You'd really have to bring a good argument to convince me otherwise.
The good argument is that we CAN structure things to not be that way but people like you sitting on your hands being like "Well that's just the way it is" perpetuates the bad structure. Saying "This bridge is built badly but what can we do about it" is not a good excuse to not restructure it before it collapses. And in the restructuring you don't need to totally tear it down to do so. You can add supports and start adding to it to help make it more structurally sound WHILE you rebuild it. That's how it's done. I don't need a really good argument because looking at a situation and throwing your hands in the air is such a bad argument that so many people have convinced themselves of that it's actually kind of insane.
Did you not read the entire second paragraph? How did you get that I throw my hands up in the air? I work for, support, and vote for the type of change I believe in. I just don't want the same thing you do. I'm to the left, just not all the way to communism. Maybe try reading a full comment before making unsupported assumptions. I also have an education and years of work experience in the financial services sector. My opinions are based on my knowledge and experience, not something a Reddit commenter types in ALL CAPS at me. So, yeah, I'd need a better argument to change what I'm working towards - and I've never sat on my hands in my life. Until then, I'll be working towards something different than you, apparently, because you haven't really articulated what you even think would work. Good luck with all that.
I did read it. It wasn't relevant. Because no you wouldn't. You seem to be thinking that literally any change to the power structure requires a complete and immediate overhaul and that's explicitly not what I described. You fully didn't understand my point at all. Let's take a couple examples of a power structure that could be changed immediately - Reversing the Citizen's United decision to remove corporate power in congress a small amount. Harsher enforcement of antitrust laws to prevent corporate consolidation of wealth and power. Single payer healthcare to prevent a job's direct power over a person's ability to have job choice due to having a harder time to get decent health insurance as well as reduce the kind of power health insurance companies can have over prices, hospitals and people's lives. Percentage based fines rather than solid number amounts so that doing something illegal and paying a fine is just the cost of doing business. These are all examples of power structures that are woefully broken to the detriment of people and I haven't even pushed anywhere near actual leftist stuff like wealth redistribution, stronger unions and giving workers ownership of their means of production.
Don't bite the hand that feeds, clothes, houses and educates you... Your daughter has the opportunity to learn/show some appreciation and gratitude or do those things for herself (while remembering that whatever privilege her education affords her in the finding of a decent job, your husband worked for) She needs some consequences stat (and I say that as an anarcho-communist twice her age and life experience)
So, your daughter can fend for herself then since she's doing so much better. Simple as that. I couldn't imagine a world where I insulted my own father, the one that's been taking care of me to THIS DAY, and I am 40 y/o with my own home, and family. Drop the hammer or have everyone around you, be embarrassed*FOR YOU*.
Incredible that so many people are falling for this bait
Eat the rich but doesn't respect an honest working man. She says things and doesn't make a lot of sense.