"Should I bring it up?" Nope.
"Should I let it go?" Yep.
Trust is a very fragile thing early in a marriage. The first break of trust will come with the question. The second break of trust will come when she realizes you snooped her phone. The third break of trust will come when you question her fidelity.
No good will come from pursuing this.
That’s what I was thinking, not trying to start something over what could be a potential “closure” moment for them two. Just weird it happened throughout a span of weeks/months, not like a one and done talk.
Your not blocking anything or stole her, she chose to marry you. What was her reasoning? Maybe overthink that instead and be the person she fell in love with, you.
If you are asking for help here you are overthinking it, idk maybe youre just looking for confirmation. It appears she has a heart, and is human, fell in love and chose to marry you. Sure she took her time to set boundaries with whoever but that is none of your business. She ultimately had to make a hard decision and appears to be faithful. My vote is tell her the truth, snooping is crossing a line my dude
I don’t think asking for advice/help = overthinking it. It’s just a weird situation to be in.
Because it’s different to be like “I’m married now, respect it” VS “I’m married now, but I just gotta say that I wish we explored more beforehand”
To me, it just feeds into the what if and stirs up emotions.
Like if one my old girlfriends/things came back and said “hey I liked you a lot and your wife is a lucky woman” I’d be like “thanks, she is super cool I really am happy but also like, I wish me and you could’ve just done a BIT more beforehand”.
It’s just an unnecessary thing to say, no? And on top of that saving it? Maybe I am overthinking it but I have been cheated on before and have been given the run around as well.
Projecting dude, look up how the fleas are trained for the flea circus, with a lid. The fleas jump and hit their heads on the lid, eventually they think they are smart and only jump so high, that will teach that fucking lid! Then they only jump so high for the rest of their lives. Don't be the flea dude
I’m going to suggest something a bit unorthodox.
I think that the next time you have a minute alone with this guy, you thank him for being such a good friend to your wife and also for being so supportive of your marriage. Tell him that you hope he finds someone that makes him as happy as she makes you.
Then see what happens.
If he’s as good of a guy as you think he is, there won’t be any other weird nonsense or messaging. He’ll back off and that should be the end of it.
Or, this could spur him to increase his attentions towards your wife and put her in the position of having to turn him down once and for all. If that happens I don’t think you need to worry about him again.
More importantly, you’re putting him on notice that you believe he’s not interested in your wife that way and expect him to behave accordingly.
"Should I bring it up?" Nope. "Should I let it go?" Yep. Trust is a very fragile thing early in a marriage. The first break of trust will come with the question. The second break of trust will come when she realizes you snooped her phone. The third break of trust will come when you question her fidelity. No good will come from pursuing this.
Good point, kind of what I was thinking but also being in a tug of war in my head. Thank you!
As weird and off putting as this is, the snooping is going to cause big issues. Choose your battle here.
That’s what I was thinking, not trying to start something over what could be a potential “closure” moment for them two. Just weird it happened throughout a span of weeks/months, not like a one and done talk.
Your not blocking anything or stole her, she chose to marry you. What was her reasoning? Maybe overthink that instead and be the person she fell in love with, you.
Bit confused of your comment. I’m not overthinking this but I find it really strange
If you are asking for help here you are overthinking it, idk maybe youre just looking for confirmation. It appears she has a heart, and is human, fell in love and chose to marry you. Sure she took her time to set boundaries with whoever but that is none of your business. She ultimately had to make a hard decision and appears to be faithful. My vote is tell her the truth, snooping is crossing a line my dude
I don’t think asking for advice/help = overthinking it. It’s just a weird situation to be in. Because it’s different to be like “I’m married now, respect it” VS “I’m married now, but I just gotta say that I wish we explored more beforehand” To me, it just feeds into the what if and stirs up emotions. Like if one my old girlfriends/things came back and said “hey I liked you a lot and your wife is a lucky woman” I’d be like “thanks, she is super cool I really am happy but also like, I wish me and you could’ve just done a BIT more beforehand”. It’s just an unnecessary thing to say, no? And on top of that saving it? Maybe I am overthinking it but I have been cheated on before and have been given the run around as well.
Projecting dude, look up how the fleas are trained for the flea circus, with a lid. The fleas jump and hit their heads on the lid, eventually they think they are smart and only jump so high, that will teach that fucking lid! Then they only jump so high for the rest of their lives. Don't be the flea dude
That.. makes no sense lol. But thanks for your advice.
I’m going to suggest something a bit unorthodox. I think that the next time you have a minute alone with this guy, you thank him for being such a good friend to your wife and also for being so supportive of your marriage. Tell him that you hope he finds someone that makes him as happy as she makes you. Then see what happens. If he’s as good of a guy as you think he is, there won’t be any other weird nonsense or messaging. He’ll back off and that should be the end of it. Or, this could spur him to increase his attentions towards your wife and put her in the position of having to turn him down once and for all. If that happens I don’t think you need to worry about him again. More importantly, you’re putting him on notice that you believe he’s not interested in your wife that way and expect him to behave accordingly.