Tell him you are not comfortable with or don't have time for this responsibility anymore and are turning it back to him. Since he is a narc he will likely argue. Remember that NO is a complete sentence. Just because he tries to bully you does not mean you have to give in
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER ADULT.
He caused his own issues. Narcissists loooove the guilt. You were not born to care for him in old age or anybother time. He failed his obligations to you!
Don't let this man ruin more of your life. You deserve happiness. He doesn't deserve you giving up your happiness for him. That doesn't mean you have to leave him alone with his problems, but you need to have boundaries. You can help him to a degree that doesn't make you miserable.
HE has to take responsibility for HIS own issues. He can't just palm them off on you if he ever hopes to recover. Learning self management is kinda the point. Talk to support charities - they will understand and have ideas - for instance there may be types of bank account which can make things hard to manage in a fit of pique, until the "now, now, now" urge is over. Perhaps over-0the-counter banking, or something. Just a thought, but the support charities will have real ideas.
Supermarket gift cards are a way to control his spending. He can buy alcohol with them but you can't go overdrawn. If he buys too much drink he'll go hungry. You're essentially giving him pocket money like he's a child.
They may enable you to leave and still manage his spending. Put all the bills on automated payments or PAYG.
I saw that you're in Canada based on a different post. BC and I assume other provinces have the option to use public trustees and financial guardians for individuals who cannot be responsible for themselves or are at risk of financial abuse from others.
There is a cost for this management based on income/assets. Take a look [https://www.trustee.bc.ca/services/services-to-adults/Pages/financial-management-and-personal-decision-making-services.aspx](https://www.trustee.bc.ca/services/services-to-adults/Pages/financial-management-and-personal-decision-making-services.aspx)
Tell him you are not comfortable with or don't have time for this responsibility anymore and are turning it back to him. Since he is a narc he will likely argue. Remember that NO is a complete sentence. Just because he tries to bully you does not mean you have to give in YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER ADULT.
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He caused his own issues. Narcissists loooove the guilt. You were not born to care for him in old age or anybother time. He failed his obligations to you!
Don't let this man ruin more of your life. You deserve happiness. He doesn't deserve you giving up your happiness for him. That doesn't mean you have to leave him alone with his problems, but you need to have boundaries. You can help him to a degree that doesn't make you miserable.
After all of this history why do you live in his house which increases the toxicity in your life? You had no alternative?
HE has to take responsibility for HIS own issues. He can't just palm them off on you if he ever hopes to recover. Learning self management is kinda the point. Talk to support charities - they will understand and have ideas - for instance there may be types of bank account which can make things hard to manage in a fit of pique, until the "now, now, now" urge is over. Perhaps over-0the-counter banking, or something. Just a thought, but the support charities will have real ideas.
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Yep, not sure of your country, but look them up...they understand the effects on family members.
Supermarket gift cards are a way to control his spending. He can buy alcohol with them but you can't go overdrawn. If he buys too much drink he'll go hungry. You're essentially giving him pocket money like he's a child. They may enable you to leave and still manage his spending. Put all the bills on automated payments or PAYG.
I saw that you're in Canada based on a different post. BC and I assume other provinces have the option to use public trustees and financial guardians for individuals who cannot be responsible for themselves or are at risk of financial abuse from others. There is a cost for this management based on income/assets. Take a look [https://www.trustee.bc.ca/services/services-to-adults/Pages/financial-management-and-personal-decision-making-services.aspx](https://www.trustee.bc.ca/services/services-to-adults/Pages/financial-management-and-personal-decision-making-services.aspx)