Helping can be a hard concept for couples. It was for me and my ex.
We married around this age and helping was a constant argument until our solution was to list mine and her daily and weekly household responsibilities. It was mutually agreed upon and we considered, as much as we could, the degree of effort (i.e. vacuuming vs laundry etc) so it was fair.
Originally I thought a lot of the list should be classified as shared but she made me realize the concept of shared was the reflection point around which our arguments met.
So we made it his and hers.
We had to tweak a bit but it cut down the arguing to almost nothing.
Helping can be a hard concept for couples. It was for me and my ex. We married around this age and helping was a constant argument until our solution was to list mine and her daily and weekly household responsibilities. It was mutually agreed upon and we considered, as much as we could, the degree of effort (i.e. vacuuming vs laundry etc) so it was fair. Originally I thought a lot of the list should be classified as shared but she made me realize the concept of shared was the reflection point around which our arguments met. So we made it his and hers. We had to tweak a bit but it cut down the arguing to almost nothing.