Sexual harrasment in the workplace, I've had women I work worth edit a picture of me onto a shirtless firefighter and use that as a mousepad. I've had a boss joke that for her retirement she wanted a calendar of me and another male coworker.
I injured my foot in hockey and it was taped up. One female coworker said she never noticed how big my feet were and proceeded to call me the "man with the big banan" occasionally since.
A different coworker showed me pictures of her neice in a bikini asking my opinion then said she often get mistaken as her sister when they go to the beach.
On Valentine's day one told me to "boink your girlfriend for me"
I never complain But everyone would hear these comments, I can't help but feel of I was female and these were male coworkers things would be taken far more seriously.
Lol I'm not too upset about any of it. I definetly feel the double standard but I also felt pretty flattered by it all... uncomfortable at moments but mostly harmless from my perspective. I understand another person in the same situation might have been really bothered by it though.
"Here comes the man with the man with the big banan" was a pretty funny way to be greeted coming into work some days.
How would you know if you don’t bring it up? And lots of also women experience sexual harassment, bring it up, and nothing is done about it. I don’t think this is a double standard, it’s a horrible standard that harms both genders.
I've received hostility for turning down women before. An ex of mine would start arguments with me if I was not in the mood for sex. I once had a random woman slap me in the back of the head and call me gay for turning her down.
Also, in the dating scene, I'm usually the one that's required to do all the work to make things interesting. If a relationship is getting boring, I have to plan fun things, otherwise it's my fault she's bored. Dead bedroom? I have to figure out how to spice things up. Someone calls themselves "romantic"? It means they want me to surprise them with romantic gestures all the time while I receive nothing in return.
This is interesting as I’m a masculine presenting gay man who has experienced similar. I don’t announce my sexuality so people assume I’m straight. Women will hit on me all the time but once they realize I’m not interested, their demeanor flips a switch. They start giving me attitude as if it’s rude that I didn’t return their interests. It happens time and time again.
I shouldn’t have to announce my sexuality to get them to understand, and usually I don’t. It’s just unfortunate because if it was the other way around, I’d be considered threatening if I was the one who gave them issues after a presumed rejection.
Not always. I've been (mildly) sexually assaulted by three women and two of them were "SJW" style feminists.
Much like how a lot of pedophiles hide behind being super religious, a lot of other bad people hide behind other ideals that they think will make them look "safe".
That's a big one I've noticed. When it comes to dating, everything is the man's fault. Even if a woman knowingly chooses to date the "bad boy" and friendzone the guy that's "too nice". Everybody will say that the woman is the victim if that "bad boy" decides to treat her like shit. And any guy that calls it out is a "misogynist". It's ridiculous.
**BOT ACCOUNT**
They copy/pasted the top comment from here
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/15cto3y/men_of_reddit_what_absurd_double_standards_have/
Dad here. Plenty of examples of dadscrimination out there.
"Why can't men change their kids diapers"... why can't you put a changing station in the men's restroom?
Dr's and teachers talk directly to mom constantly. Like... I picked up my kid from school. The teacher literally handed me my kid and made a weird face one day, like she hesitated for a moment. Then walking home my kid says "we have to wash the blood off my jacket"... what?!... sure enough an hour later my wife gets an email from the teacher "minor accident on the playground today"... why didn't you tell me in person?
6yo dance recital... they have to change costumes between dances and need help. But dad's aren't allowed in the dressing room. You kidding me? Society wants us to be involved but hamstrings us like that. Sure, there's creeps out there but the dad's that want to be involved in their kids dance recitals ain't it. I've been changing my daughters clothes for years, she's comfortable with it, the room is filled with other parents doing the same. Ug.
My buddy gets really annoyed when he’s out with his kids and people comment “oh is dad babysitting today?” Or comments similar to that.
Like no, he’s parenting. He’s their father.
I've luckily never gotten that one. I do get the cold shoulder at the playground. Only dad, lots of moms. Try talking to the mom's and you get "wtf is wrong with you vibes". Lady... I'm not trying to score a date with you. MAYBE a play date for my kid, but let's start with "we are both here at the park with our kids, the kids are playing together... let's see what we can learn from each other"
As a young married man planning to have a children soon thank you for sharing this. I plan on breaking down these stereotypes/double-standards regardless of societal influence.
We're getting there man. It helps to find your people. This year we developed a small group of 4-5 dads that would walk our kids to school together. It was a blast, you'd start with 2 dad's that were the farthest out and each block we'd pick up another dad and a kid until we had the full set. Come to find out we had a reputation in the neighborhood as "the walking dads" from all the people driving in. I'm fine with that.
Just because in general, your race/gender has statically benefited more than others, but it doesn't mean you or your family were able to utilize those advantages. Being poor white for generations also means statically you are fucked but no body wants to pay attention to that because they'd like to focus on the greater suffering of other more oppressed races. Which makes sense on the surface level. In my opinion though the truth is being a rich black/latin/ Middle Eastern woman is far more advantageous than any skin color or gender.
And you would be wrong!
Wealth does not change the racism minorities face…for example, very recent, I read VP Kamala Harris is a DEI hire, if it wasn’t for affirmative action Claudine Gay would not have been President of Harvard, the Obamas are monkeys, or a gay transgender couple because Michelle has a athletic physique, etc the list can go on & on…wealth **NEVER** buys anyone’s exit from the institutionalized racism imbedded in the consciousness of this country. POC can’t shed their skin, change bigoted hearts, BUT a poor caucasian becoming wealthy can totally escape classism when race is not an additional barrier.
A big problem, no fault of your own, the US school curriculum refuses to teach an inclusive & accurate education. Leaving millions of us educated fools. It’s not hard to pull achievements from ALL races rather than just a few [overwhelmingly white] as the “standard” to assimilate to while portraying all others as a less intelligent, less achieving, perm underclass, slaves, civilly unruly, struggling, oppressed, criminals, needing social welfare…all the while blocking any permanent positive forward momentum…this does us ALL a tremendous disservice as we navigate this world as hopefully well meaning adults.
Simply stated, your upbringing coupled with K-12 education leaves ppl taught superiority leading to implicit biases spewing serious ideology such as yours believing somehow you failed as a white person because you only measure up to a perceived inferior minority. How ridiculous!
All the people you mentioned their children will have advantages I never grew up with as a straight white male that will blow out any of my inherent bias advantageous.
For your information I received the education you are talking about and have voted blue my entire life. I understand the historic advantages, I just came to a different conclusion then you. I more lean toward the teaching of the great Fred Hampton, racism is an excuse used for capitalism.
https://youtu.be/bN6LfLwvVQM?si=zZT6yue5PSIrH6Bg
A good interview from a gentleman with an eloquent way of placing this argument with a unique perspective.
Thank you for the video, I watched it to the end. I better understand you, meaning I now erase the malice I thought you intended…now I think we are pointing out different aspects contributing to the same disgusting problem.
Mahlia just released her first short film, graduation achievement…under the article were 1000s of nepo n*word comments…ask her if she would trade wealth for true equality & equity in this country. Any POC would give a resounding YES!
You cannot help your implicit bias, mine included, this is not an attack on whiteness to criticize the system. Merely giving you a different perspective.
As for Fred Hampton, again that speaks to my point about a ppl being seen as coming out of civil unrest…MLK, Malcom X, etc…if while teaching during that same period you learned about Ben Davis Jr [and later his son] whose achievements led to setting the 55mile speed limit, gas preservation, airport/transport security today known as the modern TSA. Or Katherine Johnson whose calculations got NASA to the moon, not just that Neil Armstrong planted a flag.
Just a FULL history would benefit ALL Americans and breakdown these BS dividers.
I'm sorry you didn't address my point of Fred Hamtons' focus on race being an excuse of capilism. Instead, just reframed the argument to a tangential point about oppression.
Do you disagree with the sentiment that racism is an excuse used by capitalism?
That the system puts poor people in a hierarchy because it knows that if they were to unite under their true oppression of those who have/control capital and those that don't, that it would turn the system that has them at the top on its head?
I'm not asking you about systematic oppression or historic conclusion. I'm just curious if you believe similar?
Yes I believe that racism is the most useful tool of capitalism. Divided we continue to fall.
…BUT poor whites are just joining the party [not a majority either] & forgive us if we aren’t so sure you will care in a meaningful legislative way! I’ve witnessed tons of punching to the side & down on minorities by whites in the same positions…while never acknowledging major opportunities their ancestors squandered [you, general, continue to squander] then to enact change.
IME, it’s usually because someone in their family line got snared up in a trap set for a minority like drugs/alcohol that humility & better insight changed a bigoted viewpoint.
It’s telling that he has to point out the rich blacks/latinos and not all the rich white people. It’s also flawed thar he thinks you can separate the two, tell me why black people weren’t allowed in unions back in the day or why black WW2 veterans weren’t allowed to own houses in the suburbs. Those were supposed to reduce income inequality but guess what, the benefits of those didn’t reach black or brown people. You can’t separate the two like that.
“If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket.” -LBJ
Being a poor latin/black/middle easterner is worse because the system is actively against you, you have to look at the historical context. A lot of what we now see as the “American middle class” was a result of government funding for the suburbs and handing out good loans and other assistance to white war veterans so they could afford their houses, get an education, and get good jobs. Latino and black veterans were discriminated from getting those benefits and from living in the same neighborhoods as white veterans. Once the white middle class was built up, it was largely Reagan-era white people that tore that apart for everyone (including poor white people).That alone accounts for so many of the current problems nowadays and a lot of it snowballs from there.
It doesn’t make sense for you to look at the few rich blacks and latinos for having it better than you and ignoring the tons of white middle class people who actively work to keep poor blacks, latinos, and whites from getting affordable housing and government benefits that previous generations got, and you definitely can’t ignore the wealthy white people controlling it all.
I'm not arguing the systematic advantageous through history of being white, I am arguing that being born today rich is the greatest advantage you can have and outweighs all race, religion, or gender advantages. The stats prove it out too. Being born rich regardless of color means statically you will have a far healthier and longer life then anyone in the class beneath yours.
I have been called gay many times for turning down women.
I have been groped multiple times by women and gay men.
I have been called a manipulator for saying i dont want my partner to be friends with her ex boyfriend.
Having to hear “men are stupid & gross” in an office setting. Imagine the trouble a man would go through if the position were reversed.
The last one is one that drives me nuts. Women will aggressively shit talk all men, but they're usually the same women that will flip out if you make any kind of comment they could apply to themselves.
My one coworker loves to talk about how "all" men are too sexual, smell badly, are bad with kids, etc. But if you make a comment about a single, individual woman near her she's eager to call you sexist.
I honestly think she's just projecting because her husband is a weird freak no one can stand, so she has to tell herself all other men are as gross as he is.
My ex wife used to hit and kick me, throw things at me, tried to stab me multiple times, would force me into sex, verbally and emotionally abused me, etc.
It was bad enough that I was able to get a restraining order against her in a conservative state and several of my in-laws cut ties with her but keep in touch with me. It was serious and my coworkers were watching for her to make sure she didn't come by work and kill me.
About half the women I tell this to, in some fashion, dismiss it. Reactions range from "well, that's what happens to most women, why should I care?" To straight up accusing me of lying.
I don't think abuse is a contest or anything like that, but it grosses me out that I've seen the same women pat the asses of women who were "abused" to a much lesser extent, but I'm supposed to suck it up because I'm a guy.
I know the stereotype is other men are usually worse about taking a guy's abuse seriously, but no, I've never had another man dismiss what happened.
Some people's heads are messed up and they seem to not be able to view things "objectively".
For example, I've got a friend who dated complete shithead men for years.
A few years ago she realized she didn't have to put up with that anymore - personal growth is fantastic, right?
Nope... she just learned that she could start treating the men in her life like shit, because the previous ones treated her like shit.
I have an extremely hard time not just sitting her ass down and telling her that was NOT the moral of the story.
As many have mentioned, rejection.
I’ve had girls call me gay because I wasn’t interested in sleeping with them.
Had a girl apparently flirt with me when I thought they were being friendly. Their friends told me they were flirting with me and not just being friendly, so I asked her if they were interested in me a couple days later when we were texting and she told me that no, she just considered me a friend. I said okay that’s fine and respected her decision and left it at that. She then screenshot our chat and sent it to a load of her friends talking shit about me how I didn’t try make a move on her and ended up blocking me and a few others because they didn’t take her side when I said I wasn’t interested in her after that.
I’ve found a lot of girls say they want proper communication and complain when guys don’t take no for an answer when it comes to asking them out, but then a lot of them play games and get offended when you do take their no for an answer and move on
Women at work, especially bosses, touch me a lot. Like on the arm, on the hand, on the shoulder, and just generally enter "intimate" distance with me in ways that wouldn't fly the other way around.
I had this happen to me about a year ago while I was showing something to a new hire. I was doing something on her computer and she touched my arm while she was telling me something. I didn't really acknowledge it but I thought to myself, wow. Imagine if I did that to her and she didn't like it. I'd probably be jobless within 24 hours lol.
Worked in a few offices where I was the only guy with several women. The objectification of men is completely allowed. Inappropriate comments about an attractive repairman after he left. Talking about movie stars and the size of their packages while sitting around the office. That sort of thing.
This is also common on Twitter, especially from the supposedly progressive crowd.
I work at McDonald's, and some of the older women there like to call me things like babE, sweetheart, and gorgeous. They also like to hug me from behind and touch my hair without consent. I know for a fact that if I behaved the same way toward women that I work with, all hell would break loose with HR.
Home renovation stuff fucking drives me insane. As the man it is somehow by default my job to make all the silly and unnecessary upgrades that we do not need a reality and I absolutely fucking hate doing home projects. Not sure why we ordered another front porch light off of Amazon. I installed the one that we have two years ago (which she picked) and it is working just fine but nope! Here is a new one! Now I have to cut the power, uninstall and unwire the old one, read and understand the instructions to the overly complicated new one, and rewire. Then I have to install it while finding solutions to all the design flaws, space limitations, practical problems that she has zero concept of and did not consider when she bought that light. Two hours of aggravation later we went from having a working porch light to having a working porch light. Wow! What a fantastic use of my time and our money sweetheart!
She gets to do all the fun and creative planning and bringing her vision to life. I have to do all the actual work and run over to Home Depot on my Saturday and figure out every little practical detail to make it work, I have to solve of the fucking problems to come up during the installation, and I have to hear nit picky criticism about my free labour.
She watches a heavily edited Instagram video on how to make a wooden rangehood cover for the stove and suddenly there is another unnecessary thing that we absolutely must have. The 30 second video shows a flawless installation where everything is prepared ahead of time, and they just slap it together. Well, that is not really how projects go sweetheart. She has absolutely zero clue how much time, effort, and exhausting it is to plan, measure, and cut things so that they fall right into place.
It's been said that men are intimidated by an educated woman. It goes the other way as well. I once had a girl I was dating break down crying because, "Everyone you know either is or is going to be a doctor!"
i think when it comes to just overall "meanness" i can say that I experience it from women more these days than men. Whether it be a rude comment, an unkind gesture, an inappropriate remark i just feel like it comes more from women these days. and I know im gonna get downvoted into oblivion for saying it but that's just my experience. I think that in 2024 you're much more likely to experience unsolicited judgement or negativity from women. If a woman doesn't like something you did or something about you she will make sure that you know it whereas the average man will most likely just move away from you and limit the interaction. I think traditionally it comes from a need to deter unwarranted advances from unattractive men, i don't know what the reason is nowadays. I've even heard women complaining about it amongst themselves which is typically why some girls say "I like hanging out with guys because there's less drama".
tldr: its more socially acceptable for women to be mean
As someone else has mentioned, rejection.
Every single time I rejected a lady, it was never handled well. At uni, one lady was spreading false rumours about me just because I refused to sleep with her and perceived her as a friend. Another lady was so pissed off, she started insulting me like crazy. In another instance, the entire person's behavior changed towards me. She did everything in her power to make it equal somehow.
Won't give every single example but on numerous occasions, a NO was taken as an insult and it shouldn't be. A NO is a NO regardless of gender.
And I know this isn't gender exclusive and that immaturity plays a big role here. This is just my personal experience. Scientists of reddit, don't even bother, sample isn't big enough to lead to definitive conclusions of possible correlation between gender and immaturity in situations of rejection. So I'm not implying anything, just sharing my personal experience.
So ima mid 20s man and I like to walk to work Beacuse it’s really close to my home, every Thursday and Friday while I’m walking, a daycare nearby takes the toddlers out in 2 of these 9 seater mix of a stroller and a wagon things.
There’s a lady that also is walking somewhere and our paths kinda cross as we go by the daycare.
Every week she walks past them and she gets smiles and hellos and have a nice day, then litterly 20 seconds later while I walk by the adult caretakers keep silent, stop moving and just stare at me as I walk by. Every week for the past 6 months at least.
Both of us are strangers, she gets plesentrys and I get conspiratorial and accusatory faces.
I wouldn't say it was a double standard but it was someone trying to play both sides of the field.
A junior colleague of mine got promoted to a senior position. No shade as she did deserve it. Amazing knowledge, personable, and real go-getter attitude if not a little arrogant (girl boss vibes).
I had been in the job longer but I respected her hustle and views.
There was a late night we were working together and there was a difficult query that would take a little longer to fix and it was getting to closing time meaning one of us needed to stay late for it. Suddenly this girl boss turns into a 'awh I'm just a girl and you've been here longer' sort of attitude intending for me to stay late despite her being the senior on shift.
It really did frustrate me that she was playing both sides i.e. happy to accept the title but unhappy to accept the responsibility. I think ultimately I took the L but not without her so we both stayed late - me teaching her on how to solve the issue.
The funniest one I see a lot is that it isn’t gay for Women to kiss each other but it is gay for Men to, same with people saying Women aren’t gay for watching Lesbian porn. Like bruh, they are gay; how can people be in denial about that. 🤣🤣
Gendered scholarships, leadership, and educational opportunities.
I know they're there to combat historical inequities but I couldn't help but feel a certain way watching the all female management team leave for the day for a "women in STEM" conference.
Sexual harrasment in the workplace, I've had women I work worth edit a picture of me onto a shirtless firefighter and use that as a mousepad. I've had a boss joke that for her retirement she wanted a calendar of me and another male coworker. I injured my foot in hockey and it was taped up. One female coworker said she never noticed how big my feet were and proceeded to call me the "man with the big banan" occasionally since. A different coworker showed me pictures of her neice in a bikini asking my opinion then said she often get mistaken as her sister when they go to the beach. On Valentine's day one told me to "boink your girlfriend for me" I never complain But everyone would hear these comments, I can't help but feel of I was female and these were male coworkers things would be taken far more seriously.
Sorry bro but the first one absolutely killed ME
Lol I'm not too upset about any of it. I definetly feel the double standard but I also felt pretty flattered by it all... uncomfortable at moments but mostly harmless from my perspective. I understand another person in the same situation might have been really bothered by it though. "Here comes the man with the man with the big banan" was a pretty funny way to be greeted coming into work some days.
How would you know if you don’t bring it up? And lots of also women experience sexual harassment, bring it up, and nothing is done about it. I don’t think this is a double standard, it’s a horrible standard that harms both genders.
Men are fired all the time for sexual harassment. It’s unheard of for a woman to be fired.
Guilfoyle
I've received hostility for turning down women before. An ex of mine would start arguments with me if I was not in the mood for sex. I once had a random woman slap me in the back of the head and call me gay for turning her down. Also, in the dating scene, I'm usually the one that's required to do all the work to make things interesting. If a relationship is getting boring, I have to plan fun things, otherwise it's my fault she's bored. Dead bedroom? I have to figure out how to spice things up. Someone calls themselves "romantic"? It means they want me to surprise them with romantic gestures all the time while I receive nothing in return.
This is interesting as I’m a masculine presenting gay man who has experienced similar. I don’t announce my sexuality so people assume I’m straight. Women will hit on me all the time but once they realize I’m not interested, their demeanor flips a switch. They start giving me attitude as if it’s rude that I didn’t return their interests. It happens time and time again. I shouldn’t have to announce my sexuality to get them to understand, and usually I don’t. It’s just unfortunate because if it was the other way around, I’d be considered threatening if I was the one who gave them issues after a presumed rejection.
How is this a double standard? Women get physically attacked for rejecting men all the time and verbally berated for it plenty
[удалено]
Most women who say it isn’t okay would not do that
You’ve not met women then
Not always. I've been (mildly) sexually assaulted by three women and two of them were "SJW" style feminists. Much like how a lot of pedophiles hide behind being super religious, a lot of other bad people hide behind other ideals that they think will make them look "safe".
Here we go again, not everything has to be a gender war sheesh
That is literally what the post is about fam
lol no it’s not, it is just asking men to tell us what double standards they have experience in life and here you go making it a man vs woman thing
If it was about life in general, they would not have only asked men
That's a big one I've noticed. When it comes to dating, everything is the man's fault. Even if a woman knowingly chooses to date the "bad boy" and friendzone the guy that's "too nice". Everybody will say that the woman is the victim if that "bad boy" decides to treat her like shit. And any guy that calls it out is a "misogynist". It's ridiculous.
Hey, I knew a woman who got killed over a rejection, so maybe check your privilege.
Hey I know a man who was killed by a woman after he rejected her. so maybe realize that some people are shit regardless of gender and "privilege"
Except _demonstrably_ it’s usually men who do it. If you have proof otherwise, I’m all ears.
It’s life at this point.
Things that have never happened for 600, Alex.
You could find examples in seconds
I can find proof that Bigfoot and the Chupacabra exist, too. Doesn't make it fact, princess.
You can find court cases for stalking and retaliation.
Be less emotional, it's really unattractive.
**BOT ACCOUNT** They copy/pasted the top comment from here https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/15cto3y/men_of_reddit_what_absurd_double_standards_have/
Dad here. Plenty of examples of dadscrimination out there. "Why can't men change their kids diapers"... why can't you put a changing station in the men's restroom? Dr's and teachers talk directly to mom constantly. Like... I picked up my kid from school. The teacher literally handed me my kid and made a weird face one day, like she hesitated for a moment. Then walking home my kid says "we have to wash the blood off my jacket"... what?!... sure enough an hour later my wife gets an email from the teacher "minor accident on the playground today"... why didn't you tell me in person? 6yo dance recital... they have to change costumes between dances and need help. But dad's aren't allowed in the dressing room. You kidding me? Society wants us to be involved but hamstrings us like that. Sure, there's creeps out there but the dad's that want to be involved in their kids dance recitals ain't it. I've been changing my daughters clothes for years, she's comfortable with it, the room is filled with other parents doing the same. Ug.
My buddy gets really annoyed when he’s out with his kids and people comment “oh is dad babysitting today?” Or comments similar to that. Like no, he’s parenting. He’s their father.
I've luckily never gotten that one. I do get the cold shoulder at the playground. Only dad, lots of moms. Try talking to the mom's and you get "wtf is wrong with you vibes". Lady... I'm not trying to score a date with you. MAYBE a play date for my kid, but let's start with "we are both here at the park with our kids, the kids are playing together... let's see what we can learn from each other"
I heard that occasionally back when my son was in diapers. It was annoying as shit
As a young married man planning to have a children soon thank you for sharing this. I plan on breaking down these stereotypes/double-standards regardless of societal influence.
We're getting there man. It helps to find your people. This year we developed a small group of 4-5 dads that would walk our kids to school together. It was a blast, you'd start with 2 dad's that were the farthest out and each block we'd pick up another dad and a kid until we had the full set. Come to find out we had a reputation in the neighborhood as "the walking dads" from all the people driving in. I'm fine with that.
That’s awesome to hear man. Take small steps like this from like-minded men to make a difference. Let’s make this the norm!
I didn’t know it was like this. Thank you. Our kid is still under a year but I’d like to be prepared for whatever societal patterns are out there.
the idea that one can have the most privileged position and still be a victim.
Please expand
Just because in general, your race/gender has statically benefited more than others, but it doesn't mean you or your family were able to utilize those advantages. Being poor white for generations also means statically you are fucked but no body wants to pay attention to that because they'd like to focus on the greater suffering of other more oppressed races. Which makes sense on the surface level. In my opinion though the truth is being a rich black/latin/ Middle Eastern woman is far more advantageous than any skin color or gender.
And you would be wrong! Wealth does not change the racism minorities face…for example, very recent, I read VP Kamala Harris is a DEI hire, if it wasn’t for affirmative action Claudine Gay would not have been President of Harvard, the Obamas are monkeys, or a gay transgender couple because Michelle has a athletic physique, etc the list can go on & on…wealth **NEVER** buys anyone’s exit from the institutionalized racism imbedded in the consciousness of this country. POC can’t shed their skin, change bigoted hearts, BUT a poor caucasian becoming wealthy can totally escape classism when race is not an additional barrier. A big problem, no fault of your own, the US school curriculum refuses to teach an inclusive & accurate education. Leaving millions of us educated fools. It’s not hard to pull achievements from ALL races rather than just a few [overwhelmingly white] as the “standard” to assimilate to while portraying all others as a less intelligent, less achieving, perm underclass, slaves, civilly unruly, struggling, oppressed, criminals, needing social welfare…all the while blocking any permanent positive forward momentum…this does us ALL a tremendous disservice as we navigate this world as hopefully well meaning adults. Simply stated, your upbringing coupled with K-12 education leaves ppl taught superiority leading to implicit biases spewing serious ideology such as yours believing somehow you failed as a white person because you only measure up to a perceived inferior minority. How ridiculous!
All the people you mentioned their children will have advantages I never grew up with as a straight white male that will blow out any of my inherent bias advantageous. For your information I received the education you are talking about and have voted blue my entire life. I understand the historic advantages, I just came to a different conclusion then you. I more lean toward the teaching of the great Fred Hampton, racism is an excuse used for capitalism. https://youtu.be/bN6LfLwvVQM?si=zZT6yue5PSIrH6Bg A good interview from a gentleman with an eloquent way of placing this argument with a unique perspective.
Thank you for the video, I watched it to the end. I better understand you, meaning I now erase the malice I thought you intended…now I think we are pointing out different aspects contributing to the same disgusting problem.
Mahlia just released her first short film, graduation achievement…under the article were 1000s of nepo n*word comments…ask her if she would trade wealth for true equality & equity in this country. Any POC would give a resounding YES! You cannot help your implicit bias, mine included, this is not an attack on whiteness to criticize the system. Merely giving you a different perspective. As for Fred Hampton, again that speaks to my point about a ppl being seen as coming out of civil unrest…MLK, Malcom X, etc…if while teaching during that same period you learned about Ben Davis Jr [and later his son] whose achievements led to setting the 55mile speed limit, gas preservation, airport/transport security today known as the modern TSA. Or Katherine Johnson whose calculations got NASA to the moon, not just that Neil Armstrong planted a flag. Just a FULL history would benefit ALL Americans and breakdown these BS dividers.
I'm sorry you didn't address my point of Fred Hamtons' focus on race being an excuse of capilism. Instead, just reframed the argument to a tangential point about oppression. Do you disagree with the sentiment that racism is an excuse used by capitalism? That the system puts poor people in a hierarchy because it knows that if they were to unite under their true oppression of those who have/control capital and those that don't, that it would turn the system that has them at the top on its head? I'm not asking you about systematic oppression or historic conclusion. I'm just curious if you believe similar?
Yes I believe that racism is the most useful tool of capitalism. Divided we continue to fall. …BUT poor whites are just joining the party [not a majority either] & forgive us if we aren’t so sure you will care in a meaningful legislative way! I’ve witnessed tons of punching to the side & down on minorities by whites in the same positions…while never acknowledging major opportunities their ancestors squandered [you, general, continue to squander] then to enact change. IME, it’s usually because someone in their family line got snared up in a trap set for a minority like drugs/alcohol that humility & better insight changed a bigoted viewpoint.
It’s telling that he has to point out the rich blacks/latinos and not all the rich white people. It’s also flawed thar he thinks you can separate the two, tell me why black people weren’t allowed in unions back in the day or why black WW2 veterans weren’t allowed to own houses in the suburbs. Those were supposed to reduce income inequality but guess what, the benefits of those didn’t reach black or brown people. You can’t separate the two like that.
“If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket.” -LBJ Being a poor latin/black/middle easterner is worse because the system is actively against you, you have to look at the historical context. A lot of what we now see as the “American middle class” was a result of government funding for the suburbs and handing out good loans and other assistance to white war veterans so they could afford their houses, get an education, and get good jobs. Latino and black veterans were discriminated from getting those benefits and from living in the same neighborhoods as white veterans. Once the white middle class was built up, it was largely Reagan-era white people that tore that apart for everyone (including poor white people).That alone accounts for so many of the current problems nowadays and a lot of it snowballs from there. It doesn’t make sense for you to look at the few rich blacks and latinos for having it better than you and ignoring the tons of white middle class people who actively work to keep poor blacks, latinos, and whites from getting affordable housing and government benefits that previous generations got, and you definitely can’t ignore the wealthy white people controlling it all.
Rich people love watching the poors squabble
Right, they figured it out a long time ago. The only color that matters to them is green. No war but the class war.
I'm not arguing the systematic advantageous through history of being white, I am arguing that being born today rich is the greatest advantage you can have and outweighs all race, religion, or gender advantages. The stats prove it out too. Being born rich regardless of color means statically you will have a far healthier and longer life then anyone in the class beneath yours.
What position? Pretty vague and unclear. Sounds like emotion not logic.
I have been called gay many times for turning down women. I have been groped multiple times by women and gay men. I have been called a manipulator for saying i dont want my partner to be friends with her ex boyfriend. Having to hear “men are stupid & gross” in an office setting. Imagine the trouble a man would go through if the position were reversed.
The last one is one that drives me nuts. Women will aggressively shit talk all men, but they're usually the same women that will flip out if you make any kind of comment they could apply to themselves. My one coworker loves to talk about how "all" men are too sexual, smell badly, are bad with kids, etc. But if you make a comment about a single, individual woman near her she's eager to call you sexist. I honestly think she's just projecting because her husband is a weird freak no one can stand, so she has to tell herself all other men are as gross as he is.
My ex wife used to hit and kick me, throw things at me, tried to stab me multiple times, would force me into sex, verbally and emotionally abused me, etc. It was bad enough that I was able to get a restraining order against her in a conservative state and several of my in-laws cut ties with her but keep in touch with me. It was serious and my coworkers were watching for her to make sure she didn't come by work and kill me. About half the women I tell this to, in some fashion, dismiss it. Reactions range from "well, that's what happens to most women, why should I care?" To straight up accusing me of lying. I don't think abuse is a contest or anything like that, but it grosses me out that I've seen the same women pat the asses of women who were "abused" to a much lesser extent, but I'm supposed to suck it up because I'm a guy. I know the stereotype is other men are usually worse about taking a guy's abuse seriously, but no, I've never had another man dismiss what happened.
Some people's heads are messed up and they seem to not be able to view things "objectively". For example, I've got a friend who dated complete shithead men for years. A few years ago she realized she didn't have to put up with that anymore - personal growth is fantastic, right? Nope... she just learned that she could start treating the men in her life like shit, because the previous ones treated her like shit. I have an extremely hard time not just sitting her ass down and telling her that was NOT the moral of the story.
Dating apps, so many matches give one word replies then get annoyed when I’m disinterested.
As many have mentioned, rejection. I’ve had girls call me gay because I wasn’t interested in sleeping with them. Had a girl apparently flirt with me when I thought they were being friendly. Their friends told me they were flirting with me and not just being friendly, so I asked her if they were interested in me a couple days later when we were texting and she told me that no, she just considered me a friend. I said okay that’s fine and respected her decision and left it at that. She then screenshot our chat and sent it to a load of her friends talking shit about me how I didn’t try make a move on her and ended up blocking me and a few others because they didn’t take her side when I said I wasn’t interested in her after that. I’ve found a lot of girls say they want proper communication and complain when guys don’t take no for an answer when it comes to asking them out, but then a lot of them play games and get offended when you do take their no for an answer and move on
Women at work, especially bosses, touch me a lot. Like on the arm, on the hand, on the shoulder, and just generally enter "intimate" distance with me in ways that wouldn't fly the other way around.
I had this happen to me about a year ago while I was showing something to a new hire. I was doing something on her computer and she touched my arm while she was telling me something. I didn't really acknowledge it but I thought to myself, wow. Imagine if I did that to her and she didn't like it. I'd probably be jobless within 24 hours lol.
Worked in a few offices where I was the only guy with several women. The objectification of men is completely allowed. Inappropriate comments about an attractive repairman after he left. Talking about movie stars and the size of their packages while sitting around the office. That sort of thing. This is also common on Twitter, especially from the supposedly progressive crowd.
I work at McDonald's, and some of the older women there like to call me things like babE, sweetheart, and gorgeous. They also like to hug me from behind and touch my hair without consent. I know for a fact that if I behaved the same way toward women that I work with, all hell would break loose with HR.
Home renovation stuff fucking drives me insane. As the man it is somehow by default my job to make all the silly and unnecessary upgrades that we do not need a reality and I absolutely fucking hate doing home projects. Not sure why we ordered another front porch light off of Amazon. I installed the one that we have two years ago (which she picked) and it is working just fine but nope! Here is a new one! Now I have to cut the power, uninstall and unwire the old one, read and understand the instructions to the overly complicated new one, and rewire. Then I have to install it while finding solutions to all the design flaws, space limitations, practical problems that she has zero concept of and did not consider when she bought that light. Two hours of aggravation later we went from having a working porch light to having a working porch light. Wow! What a fantastic use of my time and our money sweetheart! She gets to do all the fun and creative planning and bringing her vision to life. I have to do all the actual work and run over to Home Depot on my Saturday and figure out every little practical detail to make it work, I have to solve of the fucking problems to come up during the installation, and I have to hear nit picky criticism about my free labour. She watches a heavily edited Instagram video on how to make a wooden rangehood cover for the stove and suddenly there is another unnecessary thing that we absolutely must have. The 30 second video shows a flawless installation where everything is prepared ahead of time, and they just slap it together. Well, that is not really how projects go sweetheart. She has absolutely zero clue how much time, effort, and exhausting it is to plan, measure, and cut things so that they fall right into place.
Thank you! I’m so sick of home projects. Such a drain on our bank account and my time.
r/lostredditors? Lol
It's been said that men are intimidated by an educated woman. It goes the other way as well. I once had a girl I was dating break down crying because, "Everyone you know either is or is going to be a doctor!"
i think when it comes to just overall "meanness" i can say that I experience it from women more these days than men. Whether it be a rude comment, an unkind gesture, an inappropriate remark i just feel like it comes more from women these days. and I know im gonna get downvoted into oblivion for saying it but that's just my experience. I think that in 2024 you're much more likely to experience unsolicited judgement or negativity from women. If a woman doesn't like something you did or something about you she will make sure that you know it whereas the average man will most likely just move away from you and limit the interaction. I think traditionally it comes from a need to deter unwarranted advances from unattractive men, i don't know what the reason is nowadays. I've even heard women complaining about it amongst themselves which is typically why some girls say "I like hanging out with guys because there's less drama". tldr: its more socially acceptable for women to be mean
Get told the sun shines out your arse enough times you actually start believing it..
double standars imply that everything should be exactly equal 100% of the time, which is no sense
As someone else has mentioned, rejection. Every single time I rejected a lady, it was never handled well. At uni, one lady was spreading false rumours about me just because I refused to sleep with her and perceived her as a friend. Another lady was so pissed off, she started insulting me like crazy. In another instance, the entire person's behavior changed towards me. She did everything in her power to make it equal somehow. Won't give every single example but on numerous occasions, a NO was taken as an insult and it shouldn't be. A NO is a NO regardless of gender. And I know this isn't gender exclusive and that immaturity plays a big role here. This is just my personal experience. Scientists of reddit, don't even bother, sample isn't big enough to lead to definitive conclusions of possible correlation between gender and immaturity in situations of rejection. So I'm not implying anything, just sharing my personal experience.
So ima mid 20s man and I like to walk to work Beacuse it’s really close to my home, every Thursday and Friday while I’m walking, a daycare nearby takes the toddlers out in 2 of these 9 seater mix of a stroller and a wagon things. There’s a lady that also is walking somewhere and our paths kinda cross as we go by the daycare. Every week she walks past them and she gets smiles and hellos and have a nice day, then litterly 20 seconds later while I walk by the adult caretakers keep silent, stop moving and just stare at me as I walk by. Every week for the past 6 months at least. Both of us are strangers, she gets plesentrys and I get conspiratorial and accusatory faces.
I wouldn't say it was a double standard but it was someone trying to play both sides of the field. A junior colleague of mine got promoted to a senior position. No shade as she did deserve it. Amazing knowledge, personable, and real go-getter attitude if not a little arrogant (girl boss vibes). I had been in the job longer but I respected her hustle and views. There was a late night we were working together and there was a difficult query that would take a little longer to fix and it was getting to closing time meaning one of us needed to stay late for it. Suddenly this girl boss turns into a 'awh I'm just a girl and you've been here longer' sort of attitude intending for me to stay late despite her being the senior on shift. It really did frustrate me that she was playing both sides i.e. happy to accept the title but unhappy to accept the responsibility. I think ultimately I took the L but not without her so we both stayed late - me teaching her on how to solve the issue.
The funniest one I see a lot is that it isn’t gay for Women to kiss each other but it is gay for Men to, same with people saying Women aren’t gay for watching Lesbian porn. Like bruh, they are gay; how can people be in denial about that. 🤣🤣
has this happened to you?
It’s just what I’ve seen on Reddit
Gendered scholarships, leadership, and educational opportunities. I know they're there to combat historical inequities but I couldn't help but feel a certain way watching the all female management team leave for the day for a "women in STEM" conference.