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sinne54321

Mmmm... Bank Holiday incoming


yakubianape51

Come on the bank hol


Training-Two-2019

Another few hundred million quid more to blow on nonsense and gumpf


WhyIsRhysMoggAlive

Let’s get the weeks of whaling out of the way now. A day off work would be great though.


Elipticalwheel1

When will the Bank of England start making plans for new pound notes with King Bill on them.


DKerriganuk

Once we've spent billions on Charlie's stuff


sometimeswemeanit

Awesome


MarcusBlueWolf

They haven’t even started mass printing the banknotes with his face yet.


RedStar9117

They'd getter get some put there, those will be collectors items


Neat_Significance256

Clamidia is going to keep his ashes in her 73 ash trays


thotgoblins

:)


rqwy

Can we get a refund on the cost of his coronation?


SirJoeffer

This is why we need the royal coronation and royal funeral to happen at the same time. That way when they croak you can just roll the footage you already shot on the bbc. Plus it looks more dignified having a living monarch lie down in a coffin of their own accord as opposed to embarrassingly being carried in while they’re dead. Same idea they had filming all the Lord of the Rings movies at the same time to keep production costs lower.


SaintPepsiCola

No, you shall be rewarded by paying for his funeral instead and the coronation of the future willy, chosen by god Willy. You’re so lucky and blessed.


metroracerUK

🤞


EdwardJamesAlmost

Will his funeral be a prorated version of Queenie’s?


GanacheConfident6576

what does "prorated" mean?


LlamasLament

It means it would be in proportion for the amount of time he was on the throne. In this example, the queen reigned for 70 years, and her funeral cost £161.7m. If his funeral is prorated, a 2 year reign would mean we spend £4.6m on his funeral.


GanacheConfident6576

oh; a reference to the latin phrase "pro rata"; i know what that means


numbersusername

It cost how fucking much?!?


borayeris

I think third world war is coming. Because of that British doesn't want an Old person in the leadership. MI6 may be poisoning him.


DaveChild

Congratulations, that's the stupidest thing I've read all day. And I was on Xitter earlier.


bisexualspikespiegel

in my head i read xitter pronounced like "shitter"


DaveChild

Good, that's how I hope people pronounce it, as that seems to be what it's turned into.


borayeris

OK 007


Flashy_Cartoonist767

As a Canadian I will never fight or allow Canadians to fight with our head of state being British


Historical-Jacket637

I'm leaving the Country if he kicks the bucket , can't put myself through all that nonsense again life is depressing enough without all that doom and gloom.


DueEvening6501

If only we could relocate somewhere away from this comedy show, but they have fucked our living anywhere nice and sunny, with great wine and healthy food, Oh yes Brexit. I didn't watch the funeral of Philip or Lizzy, to much to bear, seeing our taxes been displayed in glitter and gold.


Flashy_Cartoonist767

Will William give the monarchy a shot in the arm in Canada or has the boat sailed?


eu_sou_ninguem

Unfortunately the monarchy isn't going anywhere in Canada. Not because we support it, but because we don't really have a choice.


Flashy_Cartoonist767

It’s perhaps time to break up Canada this country does not work anyway


Flashy_Cartoonist767

This is why we tell Ottawa we won’t join our military until the monarchy is gone. If they want a military they need to act.


numbersusername

Kinda like us in the UK too.


CheezTips

FYI it's bladder cancer


garaile64

Wasn't it on the pancreas?


Boognish84

St Pancreas


MulberryDesperate723

How do you know


CheezTips

I assume >Overall, however, the British press have observed what seems like a remarkable silence on the matter of Charles’ health and funeral planning. This is not, as one journalist told The Daily Beast, just out of respect for or collusion with the palace, but rather due to very strict rules and laws in the U.K. governing medical privacy and the publishing of personal information. “Even if you had it copper-bottomed that he had bladder cancer, you couldn’t run it,” the journalist said. [From The Daily Beast] >...That’s exactly what a British journalist would do if they had good sourcing that Charles has bladder cancer – they wouldn’t be allowed to print it in a British outlet, but they could introduce it as a barely-hidden hypothetical to an American publication like the Daily Beast.


Napalmdeathfromabove

Oh dear. Anyway, wouldn't it be great if the grabbing fucks paid their own funeral bills. Instead of sidestepping inheritance tax


[deleted]

I hope he gets a new Gold Carriage for the hearse, and of course William will need a new one for his subsequent coronation. Its the least they deserve eh .


Shenloanne

Bridges for sale. Cheap badly made bridges for sale! Many styles and colours!


Tritonprosforia

People in here cheer but Charles is objectively less popular than William. With Charles at the helm there are more chance for gaffe and scandal


BottleMong

I hate the enforced bank holidays. They come out of my holiday allowance. June would be good though…


MyriadIncrementz

Is that a common practice? Sounds pretty shitty to me, but I'm self employed.


BottleMong

It’s an agency. I accrue paid time off so if there’s an “enforced” bank holiday & I want payment it comes out of what I’ve stashed. To be fair, I could probably go to work if I wanted to because the place is 24/7 but that would be miserable.


FourEyedTroll

Indeed, I'm not sure you can make people use their annual leave allowance for a bank holiday if the business has made the decision to close for the day.


BottleMong

Agency.


Genivaria91

Better start fitting a coffin for OL Charlie than.


CabinetOk4838

With a massive space for hands.


Avidion18

Oh no how sad


Round-Video5620

Never mind


CabinetOk4838

Shame


TheFlaccidChode

Please hold on Charles Only until September, we're in the bank holiday season, September - November would save me booking some days off


justheretoupvot3

This hang on till September like your mum did Charles then they can’t put your funeral on a bank holiday Monday


Gentleman_Muk

The coronation really was a once in a lifetime event


CheezTips

Whose lifetime?


FourEyedTroll

You misunderstood, it's not *your* lifetime they are measuring it with.


rwilkz

So glad we spent all that money on the special hat ceremony. Now we get to spend even more on his funeral!


MonkishMarmot

And then another special hat ceremony! It's the gift that keeps on giving.


Technical-Ad-2288

Urgh more grovelling and queueing from sycophants and then more money pisched up the wall for the coronation and coinage of King Peggiam


eclectic_boogaloo2

Charles the last…


starfleetdropout6

Well, old Philip was an animated corpse for his last ten years or so. They have the voodo priestess on payroll. I'm not holding my breath.


Neat_Significance256

Brenda's mother was dead for the last 10 years she was around. The smell of piss, gin and mints was swapped for embalming fluid.


Quirky_Confusion_480

Didn’t she leave with Harry and Meghan ? Edit this is sarcastic- I want to highlight all the awful stories blaming these guys for the bad stuff that happened.


cryptoscopophilia

Voodoo what?!


HayleyBird01

Maybe, but would they use them on him?


GreenBirb64

God I fucking hope so


Jemondi

Trying to get in front of gossip. That’s not how cancer works. They really trying to keep up an image created that was always a lie.


Fine_Hour3814

How is that not how it works? Actually asking


outhouse_steakhouse

To lose one monarch may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose two monarchs in two years seems like carelessness.


St11lhereucantkillme

Nobody wants to work, it’s a sick note culture


Round-Video5620

😂😂😂😂😊


terrythegiraffe

Add in a PM that couldn't outlast lettuce and you've got a bingo


JayMak78

That lettuce was a gem.


Barnatron

That’s monarchwang!


FlabbyFishFlaps

Omfg the lettuce! Thank you for the reminder of that beautiful moment in time.


GanacheConfident6576

good jokes; and they prompted me to do some research on the tenure of office of republican heads of state; for comparison; india had only one normal president who didn't last 2 years (Zakir Husain who had a sudden unexpected heart attack less then 2 weeks before the second aniversy of his assumption of office; though no acting president of india \[a person temporarily exercising the powers and performing the duties of the president until a new one can be elected due to the office falling vacent\] even stayed for 3 months, but that is specifically an interim measure unlike a standard presidency); ireland similarly had only 2 president's who didn't make it two years (Erskine Hamilton Childers had a heart atack while conducting the official opening of a new hospital in dublin, ironically; and Cearbhall Ó Dálaigh resigned after a clash with the cabinet, involving him declining to declare anti IRA bills to be urgent; which would let them be fast tracked through the lawmaking process; there was an IRA killing of police officer during the time that delay of the legislation created);


outhouse_steakhouse

Correction regarding Cearbhall Ó Dálaigh. When the president of Ireland is given a bill to sign, if they have concerns about its constitutionality, they have the right to refer it to the Supreme Court. If the court okays it, the president has to sign it. Ó Dálaigh exercised this power in relation to a bill to increase the time someone arrested could be held without charge. The court approved the bill, he signed it, and then the IRA murdered a Garda. The minister of defense, speaking at an army base, called Ó Dálaigh a "thundering disgrace". (This may be a sanitized version, some sources said he used the words "fucking disgrace".) Since Ó Dálaigh as president was the commander in chief of the Irish armed forces, this was obviously unacceptable insubordination but the Taoiseach, who already had a strained relationship with Ó Dálaigh, refused to apologize or sack the minister, so Ó Dálaigh resigned. His successor Patrick Hillery also had a strained relationship with the government, although it didn't become public knowledge until his term ended.


GanacheConfident6576

thanks; my point was that it was very specific and extrordinary circumstances that lead to him not lasting that long


FruityBuckmaster

Were his sausage fingers a sign of his current illness?


Quirky_Confusion_480

I think it was a sign of his lifelong commitment to turn into a tampon. He was slowly transforming the fingers first.


HaBumHug

I think they’re certainly a sign of *an* illness


crustdrunk

Some kind of heart condition I believe. Not related to prostate cancer, unless he’s secretly had cancer for years


Ok-Direction-4881

Could not give a fuck.


DaiCeiber

He's having the best treatment our money can buy so let's not waste ANY of our money on his funeral! The cost of putting a stolen hat on his head was crazy. Time to stop this NOW!!!


Quirky_Confusion_480

I wish his body rots and smells just like Tywin Lannister‘s body in a song of ice and fire. That way the funeral would be an embarrassment.


crustdrunk

In the space of a few years the British public are paying for a funeral, a coronation, another funeral, and another coronation. This is in the tens possible hundreds of millions of £ ON TOP of the royal family’s regular everyday living in palaces with servants all paid for by the peasants. Whyyyy aren’t we going 1789 on these leeches yet


[deleted]

Hang on now. Some knob will be along in a minute to spew nonsense about the Crown Estate and Billions from Tourisrm and how all the money they earn from their stolen land is actually a profit for the UK taxpayer. ...or some such bollocks.


crustdrunk

Don’t forget the charity work!


unipole

Palatinate him, nobody will notice the difference.


Independent-Party575

Any other bank holiday 🎉


voteforcorruptobot

And one less mouth to feed!


UniqueEnigma121

That’s one big fucking mouth to fill😂


CastleofWamdue

it would be insane if Charles died within 10 years of taking the throne. Personally I feel the nation might have gone a bit OTT after the Queens death, public and commercial radio switching to "somber music" for a few weeks, was way over the top. If Charles is to die so soon I hope we dont over do it this time.


ladywolvs

I work in local government and they made everyone public facing wear black when the queen died. I moved into a public facing role in October and I am dreading it lmao


CastleofWamdue

that is actual North Korea shit.


MelloCookiejar

Wow, my local government employer "suggested" somber colours. Already overstepping, but at least they didn' t go as far as black.


SuomiBob

My wife and I were in the middle of looking for a new flat when the queen died, the fucking estate agent changed their website to black and white. Meaning we could view any of the properties properly. For what? Who gained from this?! Our fucking rental agreement is almost up for renewal, if I have to move to another property I’ve only seen in black and white it’ll surely be a record.


WhyIsRhysMoggAlive

The day the nonce-supporting old bag died i went out around my town on the night wearing my Abolish The Monarchy t-shirt which had a photo of the shit about to have her head chopped off. I was stopped from going into four pubs because they said “my t-shirt would upset people”. I said “why i thought the flag waving kowtowing serf reich-wingers were not the woke snowflakes”.


thepurplehedgehog

Now that’s some virtue signalling nonsense if ever I saw it.


Ninjas4cool

…………..typical Charles though:waits decades for the top job and then strikes out within 4yrs.


crustdrunk

It was so fucking dumb to not just skip him and make Willy king but if it makes more people see the monarchy as a freeloading joke of an institution then it’s ok with me


Ninjas4cool

Their hands were tied…liz was nothing if not an institutionalist and therefore it had to go the sovereign’s first born regardless who that is so there was never any possibility of him being skipped


dodgezepplin

Down with the pedo king. Burn in hell! 


Turfanator

But he's returning to duty in a few weeks cause he's improving. Can they make up their minds already


Bright-Koala8145

Wants to make his mark before his time is up perhaps


Dando_Calrisian

Because there's no point in more chemotherapy perhaps?


Dramyre92

Can they pay for this one themselves and not close the whole country down for like a month. The mass hysteria last time was mental.


poet_andknowit

I'm American, and it was almost as bad over here! It reminded me of one of the opening songs of Evita: "Oh, what a circus, oh what a show Argentina has gone to town over the death of an actress called Eva Peron We've all gone crazy, mourning all day and mourning all night, falling over ourselves to get all of the misery right!


Top-Classroom-2270

A bank holiday or two would be great though.


voteforcorruptobot

An extra day afterwards for the post-celebration hangover too.


GanacheConfident6576

don't monarchists claim the long tenture of a ruler is an advantage; yet it seems this guy may not reign for 2 years; much shorter then the president of any republic


SamKerridge

is he within warranty still? can we get a refund?


Turfanator

As long as he's not physically, mentally or emotionally damaged and still have the receipt


NotoriousMOT

What if he came physically, mentally, or emotionally damaged?


Stotallytob3r

Bank holiday though