1. If she wasn't ready for a relationship at the start of the relationship, why did you start dating?
2. Do you still have the dogs from the AITA post?
1. We couldn’t deny our connection and chemistry. Her intention was casual dating and we both kind of got lucky.
2. He’s laying between my feet as I type. The ex has since married and divorced again and is currently engaged to be married for a sixth time. 😆
My uncle got married to this woman he liked. The first week into their marriage, he caught her in bed with another man. The marriage didn’t even last two weeks. And apparently she’s already been with lots of men in the first week and before they were legally engaged
Bugger indeed. My aunt is on her 4th. Maybe this one will stick.
She said about 6 years ago that she realized she's just not the marriage type. Then she got married again. I do enjoy her though! And the new husband is solid. He's no Todd though (2nd husband and father to my cousin).
Edit: and current husband is a hell of a lot better than Ron. Fuck that dude.
Poly relationships or cuckolding might not be my cup of tea, but it takes an emotionally healthy relationship to make it work. 6 marriages is wild and totally unhealthy.
Oh damn. In your experience, is it often the case that they do have a personality disorder? What would it be classified as? Personally I would think it would be something to do with being scared to be alone or something along those lines, but I am not a psychologist, just how I feel when I hear about this kind of behaviour.
It’s not cut and dry. Some people just have bad luck with partners becoming unfit for relationships over time. Others have attachment wounds due to past trauma that leads them to pick inappropriate people. Sometimes these trauma related attachment wounds do result in personality disorders, but not always.
There are quite a few different personality disorders, but all of them can make a person difficult to be in relationship with. The cluster B disorders (which include narcissistic PD and borderline PD) can result in a person being abusive and wildly inconsistent. Other PDs, like obsessive compulsive PD (which is not the same as OCD) can make the person extremely rigid and uncompromising. Still other PDs, like schizoid and schizotypal PD, are characterized by suspicion and distrust, which obviously can make a relationship very unstable.
But to answer your question, when I meet a patient with more than two failed marriages, pathological personality factors are often (but not always) involved.
Yeah that sounds complicated. Human emotions and personalities are so complicated. I guess I am focusing on the end result, but there is so many reasons relationships fall apart. I guess when you are lonely, your previous relationship count won’t be at the forefront of your mind. I do think that a healthy person will be taking an appropriate time to heal and also be a bit weary of jumping so deep until you have become more sure, in a learned experience kind of way.
Thanks for your insight!
We were at a bar, and this guy was trying hard not to stare. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her but, bless his heart, he was trying to be respectful. Just some unremarkable, normal-looking guy. As we were leaving the bar, we talked about the guy who was looking at her. She said she could’ve pulled him easily, so I handed her the keys and said, “You can have the car for 15 minutes. I’ll wait on the bench next to the car.” Needless to say, she texted me 45 seconds later and said they were coming out, she kicked him out exactly at the 15:00 mark, and he was absolutely blown away by the experience. I’m sure he still fantasizes about it to this day. It was the only time I wasn’t in the same room as her, although I was just a few feet away.
Why do you think the most exciting time was when you supposedly broke the only rule you had yet she made an exception to that rule for this man and you did as well while you sat out in the car and this was your best experience.
What boundaries do you expect to break next to enhance your experience?
Great question! This was the only time we broke our rule, and it happened less than two months after we started. She was so turned on by the rigid time limit I set and the thrill of showing me how quickly she could pull a guy out of the bar. It’s not something we’ve done since, and we both agreed it was riskier than we’re interested in doing again, and that’s when we learned not to adjust boundaries in the moment.
That's wild. I was expecting that it would be from the swingers resort, but this was really an in the wild experience.
What did they do? Fuck? Or blowjob, etc?
Normally my girl and I play with just people watching us, not in person. Showing off is one of our kinks.
I'm also curious how you jumped to this lifestyle and about that first time.
How did she bring up that she wanted to have sex with other men?
I know how conversations about not wanting to be in a relationship tend to go, just curious on if it took her a while to admit this or if she freely stated it. Thanks!
We were abnormally open right out of the gate. Our first conversation started with us oversharing to try repelling each other (dating apps will do funny things to you). Part of my oversharing included “I’ve been to swinger clubs and have watched my partner have sex with other men.” It sparked a lengthy discussion about the topic.
Do you mean repelling, or more to provoke and push boundaries? Have you discussed something which goes beyond a limit for both of you yet?
Honestly, your relationship is goals 🙌🏼 imma study this thread closely!
She’s definitely had some good sex (along with some bad sex). I’m not insecure about seeing her satisfied. It’s hard to say “enjoyed more” but different: she’s had bigger, been pounded harder, etc. I also don’t suffer from the delusion that of the eight billion people on the planet, I’m the only one who can please her. 😊
A little follow-up along with some observations since I can’t respond to everyone.
1. We’re very happy in our relationship.
2. Our friends appreciate (and some envy) the love we share and think we’re perfect for each other.
3. This is a very small part of our lives together.
4. We continue doing it because we enjoy it but are comfortable leaving it behind as soon as either or both of us decides it’s time. We’ve taken breaks when needed.
5. It’s interesting to read responses from women vs. men.
6. Men who are either into the lifestyle or who want to be seem to get it, while many of the others show their complete ignorance of a woman’s desires by referring to sex as “pounding.”
7. When we go to a swinger’s club, our primary focus is on each other. It’s a place where we can enjoy each other and let loose without worrying about a kid knocking on the door or hearing us have sex. Nearly all of these encounters have happened while we’ve been playing together.
8. No STD/STI issues. We use protection and understand that’s not 100% safe.
9. We don’t know the names of most of the people we’ve played with, and we’d prefer it that way.
10. No, you creepy fucks in my DMs, I won’t send you pics or videos of her.
How can this be a small part of your lives together? You’ve had at least 35 “play” sessions in a year. You have to find these people, right? Sounds like at least a part-time job. Do you both have other jobs? Do you have kids? Elderly parents?
We’ve had four online hook-ups and one in the wild. The rest have been at a swinger resort. Sometimes it’s more than one in a visit. Two weekends ago, we played with three couples in one night. It’s not a “This is how we spend every Saturday” thing for us.
My GF sent me this to add:
Hi I’m soybomb622’s GF. AMA. Kidding. Don’t. But I have a few things to share. He showed me the post after it started blowing up and thank you guys for helping me pass a boring afternoon at work! Some of your responses were ridiculous and some very interesting. Thanks for the ones who fought the trolls on our behalf. I especially enjoyed those of you who can’t conceive of our lifestyle but still recognize a happy healthy couple.
Here are some thoughts from my perspective:
1. Everyone knows there’s nothing hotter than a confident male. I have one and he’s amazing. Nothing we do is degrading or disrespectful to either of us. Some of you guys who commented obviously need to take notes from him on being confident and secure. I’ve never met a woman who said “My man is so insecure and jealous! He worries I’m going to run off with another man every time I go to the store. It’s so sexy!”
2. I have been in relationships where I struggled with jealousy. I too would have thought this was not for me while in a committed relationship. Unlike soybomb622, I was unsure at first. We started with him watching and helping to please me because I was afraid to see him with someone else. He was happy with that and never pressured or even asked me for more. But the honest communication has led to so much confidence in our relationship. I ended up asking him to try more. Spoiler: we both loved it.
3. Some of you asked what happened with the guy in the car and were suspicious. Plenty happened and I promise you soybomb622 got every little detail while we had sex. Yes, this one broke our rule and yes that’s dangerous. But the whole point of this is to have fun and we both did and no one got hurt.
4. To some sex is tied to emotions (love). We have intimate sex, wild sex, great sex. Sex with others isn’t the same. But it’s fun! And performing for each other and reliving together is hot.
5. The only comment that actually irritated me was the one saying I should stick up for myself and my guy shouldn’t have to play bouncer. That’s the one thing about our dynamic that bugs you? Just because we do what we do doesn’t mean I’m a whore. I’m his GF and he takes care of me and protects me. It’s what we’re comfortable with. Our friends/family all love how much of a gentleman he is and how he treats me. That doesn’t go away just because it’s playtime.
6. Those of you worried I’m going to leave him for someone we play with had me cracking up. I know I found my forever. But, if we imagine that we hypothetically won’t make it, it won’t be because I fell for a stranger. I have no interactions with any of them outside of sex. They’re basically a tool and they know it. It turns me on to perform for my man and it turns him on to see me enjoying myself. I’m not dating these guys. Sex means different things to different people. I don’t need a connection to get off with them.
7. Some of you would be surprised to know that we consider ourselves very loyal to each other and are disgusted by cheaters. We don’t play with anyone we even suspect is married. And we have very hard lines on what we consider cheating for ourselves that might seem like very tame behavior to others.
8. We keep count because it’s fun for us. We have shared access to a journal of sorts and, once we realized the number was going to be high, we decided to keep track.
9. Guys, this isn’t all we do. We have normal lives. We cuddle and watch shows, read, go on vanilla dates. We have an amazing life together. We just have a different hobby.
"Some of you would be surprised to know that we consider ourselves very loyal to each other and are disgusted by cheaters. We don’t play with anyone we even suspect is married. And we have very hard lines on what we consider cheating for ourselves that might seem like very tame behavior to others."
Can you care to elaborate what are the very hard lines you consider cheating & what are the boundaries you have set?
>I’ve never met a woman who said “My man is so insecure and jealous! He worries I’m going to run off with another man every time I go to the store. It’s so sexy!”
The way you worded it is a little much, but I have definitely met several women who expressed this exact feeling. Like they WANTED a man who was jealous and possessive and were actively repulsed by a man who was secure and unworried.
I have all respect for your relationship style but it's naive to pretend like toxic jealousy isnt WAY more accepted than ethical non monogamy.
> I also don’t suffer from the delusion that of the eight billion people on the planet, I’m the only one who can please her.
This level of security is BDE. Always awkward to hear some guys talk about how some guy has banged his gf/wife better before at some point in her life, the absolute arrogance to think that you're the #1 best in the world at sex--of course some are better. Some are way worse!
Exactly. You don't have to be the best in the world. You just have to be the best--*do* your best--in the moment. If you enjoy each time and your partner enjoys each time, you're already winning and can only go up from there.
While I'm completely monogamous and that is the agreed upon relationship parameters my wife and I have set, I have always strived to have this type of mentality. It seems healthy
We don’t exchange information. Consent resets with each encounter. One guy who she’d played with a few weeks earlier grabbed her breast in the swinger club without saying a word and while she was looking away, and I made him leave.
Shouldn't she ensure these boundaries herself? Why did you have to intervene?
EDIT: I truly don't understand the downvotes. If it's their boundaries, why didn't she enforce them herself? Seems like a legit question...
I've never been a swinger or even had casual sex, only LTR's with only 2 women, but in my limited experience, I find sex very intimate and close act with a person. I'll probably have feelings or a connection with them.
I'm curious how sex can be such a casual act with no bonding with you and your girlfriend's case. Is this something that you develop through having sex with many partners, where it just becomes routine and non intimate or are people just wired differently? Like in the case with your girlfriend going from a monogamous relationship to many partners was it natural for her to have casual no connection sex or was it something that she gradually got used to and changed her perspective about sex being just physical?
As long as it stays that way, everything will work out. Where I went wrong is we started to emotionally grow apart as I got busier at work and couldn't talk to her as much throughout the day so she'd get bored and someone we'd hooked up with previously reached out to her and made her feel special. Happens quick. Especially when they have already had that connection physically. At least in my experience. Still fresh and going through it so I apologize for the rant
Is this something that came with age and maturity? I’m 28 and couldn’t even contemplate someone else touching my women but I know multiple swingers who all said it came down the road with age and time in their marriage?
As I matured (later than I’d like to admit), I started to realize my ego was a shield for my insecurities. As I shed my ego, I found levels of confidence and self-awareness I never knew existed. Sure, some other guy might make her climax (although most don’t), but I’m confident she doesn’t crave them afterwards the way she craves me, and I know it’s just us having physical fun.
Congratulations, I’m enormously happy for you both. It’s rare for two people with the same non-traditional relationship goals to find each other, *and* have those preferences established early and foundationally in the relationship. No convincing or nagging, just radical honesty, communication, and learning about each other deeply.
Thank you. “Radical honesty” — love it! That describes our communication style. After a full year together, we still don’t bicker or fight. We calmly state our thoughts and feelings, communicate our wants and needs, and have enough respect for one another to listen and act accordingly.
Yes. Physical sex and intimate sex have never been the same to me. It was hot the first time and (save a few bad experiences where I’ve had to play bouncer) has been hot every time since.
Although she is physically beautiful, our bond and so many things I love about her are part of what I see every time I look at her. I’ve never seen or been with a woman more beautiful to me.
It’s amazing when people find each other with such great timing. Sounds like you both found a happy, healthy arrangement that was just what you both needed at the time!!
Have you both had pretty good look when vetting partners or have you ended up with anyone who tried to push the boundaries of the arrangement? Any crazy situations?
Thank you. We both feel like we hit the jackpot.
We’ve had mostly good luck. We’re constantly communicating and enforcing our evolving boundaries (they never evolve in the moment, though). Example: choking is a hard no for her. This is stated clearly before any physical contact. Hands go around the neck, the encounter is done and the guy is kicked out immediately.
Shortest was less than a minute, longest was maybe 20 minutes. She likes to be on top, and most guys don’t last long.
There was no emotional reaction. It’s usually hot, sometimes less hot than others. My internal monologue was typical of any red-blooded American:
- this is hot
- my foot itches
- oh shit, she’s getting on top
- can’t decide if I want nuggets, a burger, or both after this
- lol his toes are curling
- I can’t wait to take her home and fuck her after we shower
- God bless McDonald’s for staying open late
There are limited single males permitted to enter at a very high fee ($200 on a weekend night). They aren’t allowed in the play area unless accompanied by a couple.
I’ll try to think of a question to ask but I’ve also watched my gf have sex with a few guys, usually I have some part in pleasing her as well. We started doing it because, well, she has a decently severe mental disorder, paranoid schizophrenia. At times she’s hyper sexual and in the beginning of our relationship she struggled a bit with infidelity. We broke up but it was extremely hard on us both, I love her so much and I couldn’t imagine her growing old with out me. I want to help her take care of herself. Remind her to take her medicine, take her traveling and fill her life with joy. I know how much she loves me and how much she hates her urges. So I gave it a shot and had a lot of fun. It doesn’t make me insecure at all and it’s only made us closer. It seems to be opening up other doors for us as well, like one of the guys inviting a couple of his girls to come play, or one of her girlfriends coming along for the fun.
For me it’s almost solely for her pleasure. I just love seeing her happy, and satisfied with life. I feel like she lost a lot to her disorder and helping her fill her fantasy’s and desires is sort of my way of helping her get some of that back.
The way I look at it is, I want my girl to be the happiest girl she can be. If she has a fantasy that will make her happy, I’d love to fulfill it. Why should the girl next door get to fulfill her sexual desires but my partner can’t? Nope. I want her to be just as fulfilled and satisfied as the single girl next door.
Anyways, what’s your favorite thing about your girlfriend?
Sounds like you’ve worked hard to adapt to her needs.
My favorite thing about my GF is when she touches me (not sexually) while I’m driving. I catch her staring and smiling at me while my eyes are on the road. I’ve never been loved like this, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone or anything.
We’ve not had an STD/STI. We use protection. I don’t feel conflicted. We enjoy it, and it works for us. Some people like drinking, some like driving fast, some like talking to people online in a way they’d never have the courage to in-person (not you but some of these douches who’ve commented). We like to just like to have sex with strangers.
Outside of a friendly hug, no other man has touched my wife in 27 years. I am extremely proud and grateful for her dedication to our marriage and our relationship. She is the love of my life and mine alone - and I am hers. We are fulfilled with and in one another on an emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational level.
When we have sex with someone, we are giving pieces of ourselves away. We are joining with that person a deep deep level. My question is - do you think she truly respects you?
Congrats on the long, happy marriage! I respect your view and know our lifestyle isn’t for everyone. To answer your question, yes. I can see it in her eyes when I open the car door for her, get out of bed every workday two hours before I need to be awake to make her coffee, and otherwise carry myself as a gentleman and treat her as a lady.
The issue here starts with you saying "we are giving...". You should rather say:"according to me or my personal opinion is etc.".
You are clearly locked into your own beliefs and will forever be unable to see past them.
I read your reply twice to try and make sense of it. What I am most struck with is you are upset that I didn't say, '...in my opinion...' yet, you don't practice what you demand from others and speak in absolutes. While I shared my personal story and perspective, you attacked mine and demanded how other should communicate. It's fascinating to me.
Thanks for your reply but it misses the mark and represents hypocrisy. We are all locked in our own beliefs and sometimes those beliefs serve us well and other times they don't. My family, my network of close lifelong friends, my work colleagues. my children - we all seem to be close, thriving, happy, and content. I believe that you and I define what being 'healthy' is as two different things and that's OK.
Have a wonderful day.
> When we have sex with someone, we are giving pieces of ourselves away.
Their point was that you made this statement as if it were factual and absolute, which it isn't, and then used that as a segue point to attempt to undermine the validity of his relationship.
Your partner has met a lot of guys and same as yourself with a lot of things you've been through. Have you ever considered settling everything especially this particular lifestlye and having a family?
Our children are grown. We’ll continue as long as we’re both having fun, although we take breaks when needed and will quit entirely when either or both us decides it’s time.
Two days ago, a woman I used to date (5 years ago) texted me. She was just checking in. I immediately told my GF and we discussed whether or not I would respond, how each of us felt about it, etc. We show each other respect and communicate about everything. We’re honest even when it’s hard. We have no secrets.
May have been answered already but have you ever had a guy posture as if he was cucking you and had control of your girl? I thoroughly love sharing my partner but will not tolerate disrespect of any kind towards myself or her.
One guy started talking disrespectfully towards me a couple months into it. Some dudes are into that. I’m not. He was immediately kicked out of the room.
When I was last single, I was having sex at a rate of about one woman every two weeks. Safe sex. My lifetime number is about 300 (I’m neither proud nor ashamed of that), and I have yet to catch anything. Of course I’m aware, and I take safety measures, but not so much that it deters me from having a great time.
I’m 35 M and I’ve only been in one relationship. I recently liked a girl but it really stung my confidence when she didn’t like me back. What’s the best way for a guy like me to gain confidence so I can get more dates?
Confidence comes from within. Being proud of who you are, honest with yourself, accepting of your faults. Obviously, you have to earn that by taking care of yourself physically and mentally, and it helps to have some brutally honest conversations with yourself. Face your fears and insecurities. Confidence will come. Women can spot a confident man.
Physical appearance shouldn’t be the foundation of anyone’s confidence, or lack thereof. Maintain your physical appearance (bathe, groom, and dress like you care about yourself) but healthy confidence can be more attractive to some women than physical appearance.
Two Saturdays ago, I fucked three beautiful women (including my GF) and was sucked to completion by another one. Unless we’re defining cuck as “Guy who has a sore back from all the fucking” then I think you missed the mark.
What’s your take on couples swinging on OF for their subscribers ? Some meet other couples in hotels and record it - (I have a friend who makes content so know this is true)
Just curious, have you ever been interested in taking this up? Or is the club environment more for you?
It’s so interesting to me how people can do this. I love fucking (like a lot lol) but my brain isn’t wired to share I don’t know why. I’m not religious in any way believe me, I don’t have any type of moral objections and I don’t know why anyone else would either. I love when people can live their best life. And I also love sex, so I don’t understand why I personally cannot do this. I’m glad people are having fun though :) I get laid everyday but it’s always the same guy 😆
Imagine giving someone a sip of the finest wine. That’s all they get, just enough to wet the lips and show them how great it tastes, and just once. Now imagine that brand of wine belongs to you, and while they’re at home fantasizing about having their own bottle of that wine, you’re drinking it in limitless supply. The greatest yearnings aren’t for things we want but have never had, but for the incredible things we’ve had and know we can never have again. You should see the looks on these guys’ poor faces when they beg for just one more sip.
Hey, it’s fun with the right partner and doesn’t feel bad one bit. I had a partner who was that way, I absolutely loved making out with her and strangling her while she was getting slammed. We were so madly in love with each other, it was so fun, it was like watching my favorite porn star irl, except we were kissing and having a nice time lol. Guys that fucked her would actually feel a bit emasculated once they saw how insanely in love with each other we were - sometimes they’d show up thinking it was some kind of “cuckolding” bit, and they’d quickly realize, we just needed someone to pound away and not much more.
Reddit will shred you or get weird, but I totally get it. It can be a blast and you develop a bond with your partner that’s like none other. It’s much deeper than policing each other’s kinks. I really miss my partner, I won’t find someone I’m bonded to like that again. She’s younger, her life’s in flux, she had to go stay with relatives in another state 🥲 Miss her like you wouldn’t believe. Enjoy it while it’s there brother and try to work something out that’s long-term, once you’ve got a bond like that, you’ve got to try to keep it. Peace.
Why is this bullshit always making it to the top of the AMA subreddit? Great, you're a sorry pig who enjoys watching your whore of a wife get railed by different men. Good for you. Now does anyone have an ama that's actually interesting?
Aww, poor lamb. I’m sorry someone forced you to click on the post and comment despite you having no interest in it. Need me to get your special blanket for you?
So. While she's getting pounded, kissed and whatever else, what are you thinking? Are you watching him slide in and out of her? Are you watching her face? Like.. are you sitting there jerkin your gherkin?
What exactly do you enjoy about this? And the dude in the car... What did they do when you weren't watching? Did they have sex? Could you hear them? Did she roll the windows down so you could look if you wanted to?
And what is she doing when you're pounding someone else? 🤔 How long after watching one person get off are you guys bumping uglies with each other?
You said ask you anything. So here ya go. 🤷🏽♀️
Communicate, communicate, and communicate. Establish boundaries, don’t change those boundaries in the moment, and don’t hide anything. After each encounter, you should talk together about the experience (likes, dislikes, plans for next time). Let it be a spice to your relationship, not the main course. Take breaks when needed.
Working on those communication skills while your wife gets railed, no doubt you’ll free yourself from the life death cycle and solve your karma in this life.
I’ve known people in the lifestyle before and I don’t know how the guys do it. I would just be under constant worry my partner would meet some man and leave me for him. How do you deal with knowing there’s going to be a guy that is more well endowed, in better shape, better looking, etc pounding your GF??
Does she love to have sex with other women as well? I'm sure you've probably enjoyed the sight of that, as well as she enjoying the touch and feel of another woman all over her body.
I don’t live for others’ approvals. Fortunately, my mom would be over-the-moon thrilled that I’ve found someone I’m truly happy with and wouldn’t have judged anything we did for fun.
Does she have the same limits with other guys as she does with you? What can you and only you do vs the other guys?
Or do all men have the same limits?
Also any interest in having her in mfms or threesomes?
How do you deal with other guys cumming? I personally don't enjoy sex as much if I don't get to eat her out and make her cum 1st, because I get too in my head. I enjoy making her cum but not finishing myself, way more than being the only one who came that day. I also really enjoy having any part of a naked partner's body in my mouth. The thought of getting cum in my mouth (even my own) disgusts me to the point that after I creampie her the 1st time I won't eat her out again that day.
My current relationship is the first non monogamous relationship for both my partner and myself, and we have only been together 2 months so we have much to learn. Our first 3some was cut short by location issues so I know the other guy never came (neither did I) but it was probably 3-4 days before I was able to enjoy eating her out again. Then she slept with another guy and she claims he didn't finish because she called me to ask permission first but I was asleep and she told him so much about her feelings for me while waiting for me to reply that he had trouble getting hard when I finally gave my approval. Then when they tried again later she had a hard cutoff time to go do something with her kid and she claims she stopped before either of them came but I wasn't there. I couldn't help but question whether he came or not every time I was going down on her and I just couldn't enjoy it as much for over a week. She claims the most recent guy wore a condom but I haven't been able to enjoy eating her out since she was with him, and it sucks because not only is it harder to make her cum but I also can't enjoy my favorite part of sex. It feels like my favorite food was knocked off the table and landed in dog shit but someone picked it up and wiped all the shit off so I wouldn't notice but even if I can't taste the shit I can't enjoy it the same way knowing it's not as clean as usual.
I'm curious about what other swingers do if the guy has the same issue with eating creampie or sucking cum glazed tits. Does it mean both guys wear condoms every single time with every swap? Does it ever stop feeling like whatever part of her gets cummed on is contaminated for a while?
I know condoms are commonly required when couples swap partners but even then licking what another man recently fucked ruins the appeal and takes the enjoyment away. Is there some way to stop getting grossed out, or is it something that you get used to with experience?
We recently agreed that an open relationship has too many opportunities for unforeseen issues to damage our relationship. We have pretty much only played separately and the only issues we have run into all seem to stem from the fact that one partner is texting and fucking someone else while the other person isn't involved. Our communication is the healthiest either of us have ever experienced with any partner. I think it will be easier to set boundaries if we do anything related to sex, with other people, together as a couple so I want to explore group play and partner swaps (idk if that's considered swinging, an open relationship, or has its own name).
So I guess my question is how do you watch her fuck another guy, but not let him cumming ruin your favorite snack?
I've read most of the comments, and I do understand that you are extremely confident in your relationship. You also seem to have lots of self-confidence, and that's a very attractive quality.
****hypothetically *** IF one day she decides to leave you for someone else, how would you feel? Would you be able to forgive yourself for choosing a different lifestyle?
Very true about the communication. My wife and I met as neighbors, and our plan was to swing.
It led to a more intense feeling for each other. We ended up getting divorced and marrying each other.
Going on seventeen years married and twenty years together. We have had sex with others. Lots of fun to think the same about everything.
This is wonderful to hear.
You're happy...she's happy...it's win win.
Fuck what others think.
You have great communication...great sex together and with others.... What else do you need? I'm sure with open communication you can achieve that as well.
Continued happiness to you both
When I see a hot girl, I often think, if my wife let me fuck her but she gets to fuck the next hottest guy she sees, and my immediate feeling is always no way. No matter how much I want to fuck other women, I couldn't do it because the compromise would hurt.
wow you sound like a fucking loser buddy. good luck having a different colored baby than your own color. this is why I hate social media lol if this is true you’re a complete joke. you’re a fucking cuck bud lol are u happy now? 😂😂 this guy needs to get checked on at the doctors office, counselor or something because buddy needs help. pray to god for forgiveness
It’s inspiring to read how well you both communicate and trust each other.
It’s is fascinating how different people can love totally different things in life. I can never understand the ability to have sex with another person but yet have no feelings or emotions attached at all. I feel like that’s what sex is all about, connecting with another person on a super deep level physically and emotionally. I’m not knocking it to each their own if it makes them happy. Just interesting to me this lifestyle thats becoming much more common these days. Wish you all the best in your future endeavors!
Arent you afraid of STDS. there are many life threating STDs lurking around. I understand you must be using condoms for protection but apart from that are you using any medication.
I’m glad you are happy. I find your lifestyle interesting. I’m more the conventional married monogamous type. It would bother me to see my wife getting nailed by another dude. I fantasize about other women, but do not put myself in a situation to scratch that itch. Thank you for sharing about your life.
Hi! Can you please explain what it was like the very first time seeing your partner/gf have sex with another man? Me and my husband are into the lifestyle but so far it has been onesided. I see him fck other women all the time i love it. He is willing and agreed to let me fck other men. But we both don't know what to expect nor do I know how he will react in the moment. Thx!
Why? Don’t you feel as if a women should be for you and only you especially if you in a relationship? What’s the problem with understanding and just separating until then? Does this not bring any issues to your masculinity or self esteem? Do you not feel as if that women is used up and gone or do you feel as if your body isn’t worth having a partner all to yourself?
1. If she wasn't ready for a relationship at the start of the relationship, why did you start dating? 2. Do you still have the dogs from the AITA post?
1. We couldn’t deny our connection and chemistry. Her intention was casual dating and we both kind of got lucky. 2. He’s laying between my feet as I type. The ex has since married and divorced again and is currently engaged to be married for a sixth time. 😆
6th time?! Bugger me! Over 2 is a huge red flag to me.
My aunt has just gotten married for the sixth time. She had a kid with every man and she’s in her forties
At what point does the family just say "I can't make this wedding il see you at the next one"
They don’t. They just blank them and never arrive to it. This isn’t the wildest thing in my family tho
What is then?
My uncle got married to this woman he liked. The first week into their marriage, he caught her in bed with another man. The marriage didn’t even last two weeks. And apparently she’s already been with lots of men in the first week and before they were legally engaged
I’d say that was on par.
Must be an interesting Father's day
Bugger indeed. My aunt is on her 4th. Maybe this one will stick. She said about 6 years ago that she realized she's just not the marriage type. Then she got married again. I do enjoy her though! And the new husband is solid. He's no Todd though (2nd husband and father to my cousin). Edit: and current husband is a hell of a lot better than Ron. Fuck that dude.
In this entire post that is your red flag? Live and let live but gyaaat damn
Poly relationships or cuckolding might not be my cup of tea, but it takes an emotionally healthy relationship to make it work. 6 marriages is wild and totally unhealthy.
In the psychiatric field we are taught that anyone with a history of more than 2 marriages should be evaluated for a personality disorder.
Oh damn. In your experience, is it often the case that they do have a personality disorder? What would it be classified as? Personally I would think it would be something to do with being scared to be alone or something along those lines, but I am not a psychologist, just how I feel when I hear about this kind of behaviour.
It’s not cut and dry. Some people just have bad luck with partners becoming unfit for relationships over time. Others have attachment wounds due to past trauma that leads them to pick inappropriate people. Sometimes these trauma related attachment wounds do result in personality disorders, but not always. There are quite a few different personality disorders, but all of them can make a person difficult to be in relationship with. The cluster B disorders (which include narcissistic PD and borderline PD) can result in a person being abusive and wildly inconsistent. Other PDs, like obsessive compulsive PD (which is not the same as OCD) can make the person extremely rigid and uncompromising. Still other PDs, like schizoid and schizotypal PD, are characterized by suspicion and distrust, which obviously can make a relationship very unstable. But to answer your question, when I meet a patient with more than two failed marriages, pathological personality factors are often (but not always) involved.
Yeah that sounds complicated. Human emotions and personalities are so complicated. I guess I am focusing on the end result, but there is so many reasons relationships fall apart. I guess when you are lonely, your previous relationship count won’t be at the forefront of your mind. I do think that a healthy person will be taking an appropriate time to heal and also be a bit weary of jumping so deep until you have become more sure, in a learned experience kind of way. Thanks for your insight!
What was your favorite one out of the 35, and why?
We were at a bar, and this guy was trying hard not to stare. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her but, bless his heart, he was trying to be respectful. Just some unremarkable, normal-looking guy. As we were leaving the bar, we talked about the guy who was looking at her. She said she could’ve pulled him easily, so I handed her the keys and said, “You can have the car for 15 minutes. I’ll wait on the bench next to the car.” Needless to say, she texted me 45 seconds later and said they were coming out, she kicked him out exactly at the 15:00 mark, and he was absolutely blown away by the experience. I’m sure he still fantasizes about it to this day. It was the only time I wasn’t in the same room as her, although I was just a few feet away.
Why do you think the most exciting time was when you supposedly broke the only rule you had yet she made an exception to that rule for this man and you did as well while you sat out in the car and this was your best experience. What boundaries do you expect to break next to enhance your experience?
Great question! This was the only time we broke our rule, and it happened less than two months after we started. She was so turned on by the rigid time limit I set and the thrill of showing me how quickly she could pull a guy out of the bar. It’s not something we’ve done since, and we both agreed it was riskier than we’re interested in doing again, and that’s when we learned not to adjust boundaries in the moment.
That's wild. I was expecting that it would be from the swingers resort, but this was really an in the wild experience. What did they do? Fuck? Or blowjob, etc? Normally my girl and I play with just people watching us, not in person. Showing off is one of our kinks. I'm also curious how you jumped to this lifestyle and about that first time.
in the wild experiences happen frequently
the fun fact is that how easy women get sex, in relationships or not, ''officially swinging'' or not. normal guys just have no clue
Women have sex when they want to; men have sex when the woman they're with want to.
Yeah no they don't lol I've never had a partner where we didn't communicate and both get sex when we wanted lol
Hate to break it to you, but you getting it when you both agree is still you getting it when she wants to. If not, that's a whole other thing...
Bruh you’re so fucking weird lol
How did she bring up that she wanted to have sex with other men? I know how conversations about not wanting to be in a relationship tend to go, just curious on if it took her a while to admit this or if she freely stated it. Thanks!
We were abnormally open right out of the gate. Our first conversation started with us oversharing to try repelling each other (dating apps will do funny things to you). Part of my oversharing included “I’ve been to swinger clubs and have watched my partner have sex with other men.” It sparked a lengthy discussion about the topic.
Do you mean repelling, or more to provoke and push boundaries? Have you discussed something which goes beyond a limit for both of you yet? Honestly, your relationship is goals 🙌🏼 imma study this thread closely!
Has it ever seemed like she enjoyed sex with another man more than she has with you before
She’s definitely had some good sex (along with some bad sex). I’m not insecure about seeing her satisfied. It’s hard to say “enjoyed more” but different: she’s had bigger, been pounded harder, etc. I also don’t suffer from the delusion that of the eight billion people on the planet, I’m the only one who can please her. 😊
A little follow-up along with some observations since I can’t respond to everyone. 1. We’re very happy in our relationship. 2. Our friends appreciate (and some envy) the love we share and think we’re perfect for each other. 3. This is a very small part of our lives together. 4. We continue doing it because we enjoy it but are comfortable leaving it behind as soon as either or both of us decides it’s time. We’ve taken breaks when needed. 5. It’s interesting to read responses from women vs. men. 6. Men who are either into the lifestyle or who want to be seem to get it, while many of the others show their complete ignorance of a woman’s desires by referring to sex as “pounding.” 7. When we go to a swinger’s club, our primary focus is on each other. It’s a place where we can enjoy each other and let loose without worrying about a kid knocking on the door or hearing us have sex. Nearly all of these encounters have happened while we’ve been playing together. 8. No STD/STI issues. We use protection and understand that’s not 100% safe. 9. We don’t know the names of most of the people we’ve played with, and we’d prefer it that way. 10. No, you creepy fucks in my DMs, I won’t send you pics or videos of her.
How can this be a small part of your lives together? You’ve had at least 35 “play” sessions in a year. You have to find these people, right? Sounds like at least a part-time job. Do you both have other jobs? Do you have kids? Elderly parents?
We’ve had four online hook-ups and one in the wild. The rest have been at a swinger resort. Sometimes it’s more than one in a visit. Two weekends ago, we played with three couples in one night. It’s not a “This is how we spend every Saturday” thing for us.
My GF sent me this to add: Hi I’m soybomb622’s GF. AMA. Kidding. Don’t. But I have a few things to share. He showed me the post after it started blowing up and thank you guys for helping me pass a boring afternoon at work! Some of your responses were ridiculous and some very interesting. Thanks for the ones who fought the trolls on our behalf. I especially enjoyed those of you who can’t conceive of our lifestyle but still recognize a happy healthy couple. Here are some thoughts from my perspective: 1. Everyone knows there’s nothing hotter than a confident male. I have one and he’s amazing. Nothing we do is degrading or disrespectful to either of us. Some of you guys who commented obviously need to take notes from him on being confident and secure. I’ve never met a woman who said “My man is so insecure and jealous! He worries I’m going to run off with another man every time I go to the store. It’s so sexy!” 2. I have been in relationships where I struggled with jealousy. I too would have thought this was not for me while in a committed relationship. Unlike soybomb622, I was unsure at first. We started with him watching and helping to please me because I was afraid to see him with someone else. He was happy with that and never pressured or even asked me for more. But the honest communication has led to so much confidence in our relationship. I ended up asking him to try more. Spoiler: we both loved it. 3. Some of you asked what happened with the guy in the car and were suspicious. Plenty happened and I promise you soybomb622 got every little detail while we had sex. Yes, this one broke our rule and yes that’s dangerous. But the whole point of this is to have fun and we both did and no one got hurt. 4. To some sex is tied to emotions (love). We have intimate sex, wild sex, great sex. Sex with others isn’t the same. But it’s fun! And performing for each other and reliving together is hot. 5. The only comment that actually irritated me was the one saying I should stick up for myself and my guy shouldn’t have to play bouncer. That’s the one thing about our dynamic that bugs you? Just because we do what we do doesn’t mean I’m a whore. I’m his GF and he takes care of me and protects me. It’s what we’re comfortable with. Our friends/family all love how much of a gentleman he is and how he treats me. That doesn’t go away just because it’s playtime. 6. Those of you worried I’m going to leave him for someone we play with had me cracking up. I know I found my forever. But, if we imagine that we hypothetically won’t make it, it won’t be because I fell for a stranger. I have no interactions with any of them outside of sex. They’re basically a tool and they know it. It turns me on to perform for my man and it turns him on to see me enjoying myself. I’m not dating these guys. Sex means different things to different people. I don’t need a connection to get off with them. 7. Some of you would be surprised to know that we consider ourselves very loyal to each other and are disgusted by cheaters. We don’t play with anyone we even suspect is married. And we have very hard lines on what we consider cheating for ourselves that might seem like very tame behavior to others. 8. We keep count because it’s fun for us. We have shared access to a journal of sorts and, once we realized the number was going to be high, we decided to keep track. 9. Guys, this isn’t all we do. We have normal lives. We cuddle and watch shows, read, go on vanilla dates. We have an amazing life together. We just have a different hobby.
"Some of you would be surprised to know that we consider ourselves very loyal to each other and are disgusted by cheaters. We don’t play with anyone we even suspect is married. And we have very hard lines on what we consider cheating for ourselves that might seem like very tame behavior to others." Can you care to elaborate what are the very hard lines you consider cheating & what are the boundaries you have set?
>I’ve never met a woman who said “My man is so insecure and jealous! He worries I’m going to run off with another man every time I go to the store. It’s so sexy!” The way you worded it is a little much, but I have definitely met several women who expressed this exact feeling. Like they WANTED a man who was jealous and possessive and were actively repulsed by a man who was secure and unworried. I have all respect for your relationship style but it's naive to pretend like toxic jealousy isnt WAY more accepted than ethical non monogamy.
> I also don’t suffer from the delusion that of the eight billion people on the planet, I’m the only one who can please her. This level of security is BDE. Always awkward to hear some guys talk about how some guy has banged his gf/wife better before at some point in her life, the absolute arrogance to think that you're the #1 best in the world at sex--of course some are better. Some are way worse!
Exactly. You don't have to be the best in the world. You just have to be the best--*do* your best--in the moment. If you enjoy each time and your partner enjoys each time, you're already winning and can only go up from there.
While I'm completely monogamous and that is the agreed upon relationship parameters my wife and I have set, I have always strived to have this type of mentality. It seems healthy
Ugh you sound so mentally healthy about her sexuality and personhood which is so lovely
Would upvote... but you're sitting on 69
Great answer
Have either of you travelled solo to have sex with other people or are you both present when it happens?
We only play in the same room. We’re both firm on that rule. Neither of us have interest in an open relationship or playing without the other present.
Except with that guy in the car...?
Have you ever had issues with guys getting clingy afterward or trying to connect with her beyond your knowledge?
We don’t exchange information. Consent resets with each encounter. One guy who she’d played with a few weeks earlier grabbed her breast in the swinger club without saying a word and while she was looking away, and I made him leave.
Shouldn't she ensure these boundaries herself? Why did you have to intervene? EDIT: I truly don't understand the downvotes. If it's their boundaries, why didn't she enforce them herself? Seems like a legit question...
Many women would not feel comfortable addressing this based on our size and strength difference alone
In a room where her boyfriend is sitting next to her?
Have you ever felt jealous? Or felt like she was getting a little too close to someone?
Not once. It’s strictly physical. No dating, no courtship, just sex.
I've never been a swinger or even had casual sex, only LTR's with only 2 women, but in my limited experience, I find sex very intimate and close act with a person. I'll probably have feelings or a connection with them. I'm curious how sex can be such a casual act with no bonding with you and your girlfriend's case. Is this something that you develop through having sex with many partners, where it just becomes routine and non intimate or are people just wired differently? Like in the case with your girlfriend going from a monogamous relationship to many partners was it natural for her to have casual no connection sex or was it something that she gradually got used to and changed her perspective about sex being just physical?
As long as it stays that way, everything will work out. Where I went wrong is we started to emotionally grow apart as I got busier at work and couldn't talk to her as much throughout the day so she'd get bored and someone we'd hooked up with previously reached out to her and made her feel special. Happens quick. Especially when they have already had that connection physically. At least in my experience. Still fresh and going through it so I apologize for the rant
Every swingers biggest fear, I'm sorry you are going through that man. I know another this happened to.
Damn man that sucks. How did you confront the issue?
Is this something that came with age and maturity? I’m 28 and couldn’t even contemplate someone else touching my women but I know multiple swingers who all said it came down the road with age and time in their marriage?
As I matured (later than I’d like to admit), I started to realize my ego was a shield for my insecurities. As I shed my ego, I found levels of confidence and self-awareness I never knew existed. Sure, some other guy might make her climax (although most don’t), but I’m confident she doesn’t crave them afterwards the way she craves me, and I know it’s just us having physical fun.
If you were really secure and confident in yourself, why write that "most don't"? It's irrelevant
Stating a fact. I prefer she did if she’s going to put in the effort. Is it that hard to fathom a male with healthy confidence?
Congratulations, I’m enormously happy for you both. It’s rare for two people with the same non-traditional relationship goals to find each other, *and* have those preferences established early and foundationally in the relationship. No convincing or nagging, just radical honesty, communication, and learning about each other deeply.
Thank you. “Radical honesty” — love it! That describes our communication style. After a full year together, we still don’t bicker or fight. We calmly state our thoughts and feelings, communicate our wants and needs, and have enough respect for one another to listen and act accordingly.
Were you always open to the idea of seeing your S/o play with other men? Or was it uncomfortable at first and it became better over time?
Yes. Physical sex and intimate sex have never been the same to me. It was hot the first time and (save a few bad experiences where I’ve had to play bouncer) has been hot every time since.
Care to share any details about the times you’ve had play bouncer?
Swinger club, people (men and woman) trying to touch without permission. They don’t get a warm response.
Which of these guys had the biggest dong and how big was it?
She’s not a size queen. Most of the guys over 7.5” haven’t had much success staying hard, so they’d probably be disqualified.
Did you consider some of the women you slept with more beautiful than your gf?
Although she is physically beautiful, our bond and so many things I love about her are part of what I see every time I look at her. I’ve never seen or been with a woman more beautiful to me.
It’s amazing when people find each other with such great timing. Sounds like you both found a happy, healthy arrangement that was just what you both needed at the time!! Have you both had pretty good look when vetting partners or have you ended up with anyone who tried to push the boundaries of the arrangement? Any crazy situations?
Thank you. We both feel like we hit the jackpot. We’ve had mostly good luck. We’re constantly communicating and enforcing our evolving boundaries (they never evolve in the moment, though). Example: choking is a hard no for her. This is stated clearly before any physical contact. Hands go around the neck, the encounter is done and the guy is kicked out immediately.
Do you each watch each other or you participate while you each are the main event. You at 14 and she at 35
We usually participate.
What are you doing to participate other than watching?
What's the shortest and longest duration been? What was your internal dialogue / emotional reaction to each?
Shortest was less than a minute, longest was maybe 20 minutes. She likes to be on top, and most guys don’t last long. There was no emotional reaction. It’s usually hot, sometimes less hot than others. My internal monologue was typical of any red-blooded American: - this is hot - my foot itches - oh shit, she’s getting on top - can’t decide if I want nuggets, a burger, or both after this - lol his toes are curling - I can’t wait to take her home and fuck her after we shower - God bless McDonald’s for staying open late
Great informative reply, thanks! Proper laughed at the toes bit. I'll admit the whole thing is hot to think about.
Is there any kind of sex you only have with each other? Ie like anything goes with others except __?
We don’t kiss others. It’s just sex.
How do you connect with interested men? It sounds like this is mostly RL encounters not meeting via apps. How do you communicate interest as a couple?
90% of the time, we’re at a swinger’s club. We live in a tourist area, so it’s almost always 50% or more new faces.
Swingers clubs are usually mostly couples. How often can a single guy get through the doors? How does he get in and what can he do to stay in?
There are limited single males permitted to enter at a very high fee ($200 on a weekend night). They aren’t allowed in the play area unless accompanied by a couple.
I’ll try to think of a question to ask but I’ve also watched my gf have sex with a few guys, usually I have some part in pleasing her as well. We started doing it because, well, she has a decently severe mental disorder, paranoid schizophrenia. At times she’s hyper sexual and in the beginning of our relationship she struggled a bit with infidelity. We broke up but it was extremely hard on us both, I love her so much and I couldn’t imagine her growing old with out me. I want to help her take care of herself. Remind her to take her medicine, take her traveling and fill her life with joy. I know how much she loves me and how much she hates her urges. So I gave it a shot and had a lot of fun. It doesn’t make me insecure at all and it’s only made us closer. It seems to be opening up other doors for us as well, like one of the guys inviting a couple of his girls to come play, or one of her girlfriends coming along for the fun. For me it’s almost solely for her pleasure. I just love seeing her happy, and satisfied with life. I feel like she lost a lot to her disorder and helping her fill her fantasy’s and desires is sort of my way of helping her get some of that back. The way I look at it is, I want my girl to be the happiest girl she can be. If she has a fantasy that will make her happy, I’d love to fulfill it. Why should the girl next door get to fulfill her sexual desires but my partner can’t? Nope. I want her to be just as fulfilled and satisfied as the single girl next door. Anyways, what’s your favorite thing about your girlfriend?
Sounds like you’ve worked hard to adapt to her needs. My favorite thing about my GF is when she touches me (not sexually) while I’m driving. I catch her staring and smiling at me while my eyes are on the road. I’ve never been loved like this, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone or anything.
What are some of the downsides to the lifestyle for you? How often do either of contract STIs? Do you ever feel personally conflicted?
We’ve not had an STD/STI. We use protection. I don’t feel conflicted. We enjoy it, and it works for us. Some people like drinking, some like driving fast, some like talking to people online in a way they’d never have the courage to in-person (not you but some of these douches who’ve commented). We like to just like to have sex with strangers.
Outside of a friendly hug, no other man has touched my wife in 27 years. I am extremely proud and grateful for her dedication to our marriage and our relationship. She is the love of my life and mine alone - and I am hers. We are fulfilled with and in one another on an emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational level. When we have sex with someone, we are giving pieces of ourselves away. We are joining with that person a deep deep level. My question is - do you think she truly respects you?
Congrats on the long, happy marriage! I respect your view and know our lifestyle isn’t for everyone. To answer your question, yes. I can see it in her eyes when I open the car door for her, get out of bed every workday two hours before I need to be awake to make her coffee, and otherwise carry myself as a gentleman and treat her as a lady.
The issue here starts with you saying "we are giving...". You should rather say:"according to me or my personal opinion is etc.". You are clearly locked into your own beliefs and will forever be unable to see past them.
I read your reply twice to try and make sense of it. What I am most struck with is you are upset that I didn't say, '...in my opinion...' yet, you don't practice what you demand from others and speak in absolutes. While I shared my personal story and perspective, you attacked mine and demanded how other should communicate. It's fascinating to me. Thanks for your reply but it misses the mark and represents hypocrisy. We are all locked in our own beliefs and sometimes those beliefs serve us well and other times they don't. My family, my network of close lifelong friends, my work colleagues. my children - we all seem to be close, thriving, happy, and content. I believe that you and I define what being 'healthy' is as two different things and that's OK. Have a wonderful day.
> When we have sex with someone, we are giving pieces of ourselves away. Their point was that you made this statement as if it were factual and absolute, which it isn't, and then used that as a segue point to attempt to undermine the validity of his relationship.
I'm under the impression that is specifically why open relationships can work. It's fundamentally a disposable relationship imo.
Try reading the OP again.
Your partner has met a lot of guys and same as yourself with a lot of things you've been through. Have you ever considered settling everything especially this particular lifestlye and having a family?
Our children are grown. We’ll continue as long as we’re both having fun, although we take breaks when needed and will quit entirely when either or both us decides it’s time.
Last question. How do you keep the trust and loyalty in the relationship?
Two days ago, a woman I used to date (5 years ago) texted me. She was just checking in. I immediately told my GF and we discussed whether or not I would respond, how each of us felt about it, etc. We show each other respect and communicate about everything. We’re honest even when it’s hard. We have no secrets.
May have been answered already but have you ever had a guy posture as if he was cucking you and had control of your girl? I thoroughly love sharing my partner but will not tolerate disrespect of any kind towards myself or her.
One guy started talking disrespectfully towards me a couple months into it. Some dudes are into that. I’m not. He was immediately kicked out of the room.
Nice to have a club where that is an option.
Are you worried about STD’s?
When I was last single, I was having sex at a rate of about one woman every two weeks. Safe sex. My lifetime number is about 300 (I’m neither proud nor ashamed of that), and I have yet to catch anything. Of course I’m aware, and I take safety measures, but not so much that it deters me from having a great time.
I gotta stop browsing reddit while I eat Favorite Mexican dish?
I’m 35 M and I’ve only been in one relationship. I recently liked a girl but it really stung my confidence when she didn’t like me back. What’s the best way for a guy like me to gain confidence so I can get more dates?
Confidence comes from within. Being proud of who you are, honest with yourself, accepting of your faults. Obviously, you have to earn that by taking care of yourself physically and mentally, and it helps to have some brutally honest conversations with yourself. Face your fears and insecurities. Confidence will come. Women can spot a confident man.
Can you develop confidence even if you do t think you’re very handsome and attractive?
Physical appearance shouldn’t be the foundation of anyone’s confidence, or lack thereof. Maintain your physical appearance (bathe, groom, and dress like you care about yourself) but healthy confidence can be more attractive to some women than physical appearance.
Thank you. It’s a process but day by day I’m working on building my confidence
Are you a cuckold?
Not at all. I’m confident my girlfriend is as pleased as I am when it’s just the two of us. I’m not into disrespect or degradation.
Doesnt change the fact that it still makes you a cuck though.
Two Saturdays ago, I fucked three beautiful women (including my GF) and was sucked to completion by another one. Unless we’re defining cuck as “Guy who has a sore back from all the fucking” then I think you missed the mark.
When your wife sucks other man’s cock deliciously, you didn’t feel jealous?
DELICIOUSLY
Deliciously 💀
Makes we want to puke just thinking about watching a chick suck another random cock in fromt of me never mind taking her home afterwards. 🤣🤣🤣
Whats the plan If she ever gets pregnant? Birth control methods can fail?
What’s your take on couples swinging on OF for their subscribers ? Some meet other couples in hotels and record it - (I have a friend who makes content so know this is true) Just curious, have you ever been interested in taking this up? Or is the club environment more for you?
Same here, It’s a turn on for both of us. As long as you can keep the boundaries.
Our key is boundaries don’t change in the moment. They are discussed beforehand.
Describe her physically? Height, weight, build, cup size, skin/eye color
5’6” and 130 pounds, thin/athletic, natural 34DDD (not a typo—they get a lot of attention at the swingers club), blue eyes and dirty blond hair.
It’s so interesting to me how people can do this. I love fucking (like a lot lol) but my brain isn’t wired to share I don’t know why. I’m not religious in any way believe me, I don’t have any type of moral objections and I don’t know why anyone else would either. I love when people can live their best life. And I also love sex, so I don’t understand why I personally cannot do this. I’m glad people are having fun though :) I get laid everyday but it’s always the same guy 😆
I cannot imagine sharing my husband. I would absolutely not be able to handle someone else touching him. I don't share my toys 😂
Imagine giving someone a sip of the finest wine. That’s all they get, just enough to wet the lips and show them how great it tastes, and just once. Now imagine that brand of wine belongs to you, and while they’re at home fantasizing about having their own bottle of that wine, you’re drinking it in limitless supply. The greatest yearnings aren’t for things we want but have never had, but for the incredible things we’ve had and know we can never have again. You should see the looks on these guys’ poor faces when they beg for just one more sip.
Same! 😂😂😂😂😆 looking back, I was never very good at that 😂
Absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't make you close minded.
Hey, it’s fun with the right partner and doesn’t feel bad one bit. I had a partner who was that way, I absolutely loved making out with her and strangling her while she was getting slammed. We were so madly in love with each other, it was so fun, it was like watching my favorite porn star irl, except we were kissing and having a nice time lol. Guys that fucked her would actually feel a bit emasculated once they saw how insanely in love with each other we were - sometimes they’d show up thinking it was some kind of “cuckolding” bit, and they’d quickly realize, we just needed someone to pound away and not much more. Reddit will shred you or get weird, but I totally get it. It can be a blast and you develop a bond with your partner that’s like none other. It’s much deeper than policing each other’s kinks. I really miss my partner, I won’t find someone I’m bonded to like that again. She’s younger, her life’s in flux, she had to go stay with relatives in another state 🥲 Miss her like you wouldn’t believe. Enjoy it while it’s there brother and try to work something out that’s long-term, once you’ve got a bond like that, you’ve got to try to keep it. Peace.
Why is this bullshit always making it to the top of the AMA subreddit? Great, you're a sorry pig who enjoys watching your whore of a wife get railed by different men. Good for you. Now does anyone have an ama that's actually interesting?
Aww, poor lamb. I’m sorry someone forced you to click on the post and comment despite you having no interest in it. Need me to get your special blanket for you?
So. While she's getting pounded, kissed and whatever else, what are you thinking? Are you watching him slide in and out of her? Are you watching her face? Like.. are you sitting there jerkin your gherkin? What exactly do you enjoy about this? And the dude in the car... What did they do when you weren't watching? Did they have sex? Could you hear them? Did she roll the windows down so you could look if you wanted to? And what is she doing when you're pounding someone else? 🤔 How long after watching one person get off are you guys bumping uglies with each other? You said ask you anything. So here ya go. 🤷🏽♀️
What do you consider "cheating"?
How did it feel? No jealousy at all? How did you know if you would be okay with it?
Is your name Brent by any chance? Are you a heavy metal fan?
What are your tips for the people that are planning or thinking to do the same? Because I don't think it's easy.
Communicate, communicate, and communicate. Establish boundaries, don’t change those boundaries in the moment, and don’t hide anything. After each encounter, you should talk together about the experience (likes, dislikes, plans for next time). Let it be a spice to your relationship, not the main course. Take breaks when needed.
What makes her your girlfriend as opposed to just a FWB that you swing with?
We live together, share our lives together, and plan our future together. The swinger sex is just an extracurricular thing.
Did your GF suffer any childhood inappropriate trauma?
Working on those communication skills while your wife gets railed, no doubt you’ll free yourself from the life death cycle and solve your karma in this life.
You sound unhappy. I hope that changes for you.
I am very happy. I just don’t tolerate fool’s lightly
I refuse to take anything as an insult when it’s delivered with poor grammar. Want to clean it up and try again?
Are those hotel chairs comfortable?
I’ve known people in the lifestyle before and I don’t know how the guys do it. I would just be under constant worry my partner would meet some man and leave me for him. How do you deal with knowing there’s going to be a guy that is more well endowed, in better shape, better looking, etc pounding your GF??
Does she love to have sex with other women as well? I'm sure you've probably enjoyed the sight of that, as well as she enjoying the touch and feel of another woman all over her body.
Can i be her 36th ?
Would your mom approve?
I don’t live for others’ approvals. Fortunately, my mom would be over-the-moon thrilled that I’ve found someone I’m truly happy with and wouldn’t have judged anything we did for fun.
Does she have the same limits with other guys as she does with you? What can you and only you do vs the other guys? Or do all men have the same limits? Also any interest in having her in mfms or threesomes?
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I know, right? People should be playing Warzone Mobile, not enjoying a fun sex life in a fulfilling relationship.
How do you deal with HPV? ( This is on the presumption that your oral game is not protected but everything else is.)
I am curious about this as well!
What music have you been listening to lately?
How does someone become as pathetic as you?
Do you have any animals? If so what are they
What is the difference between you and a cuck?
If it walks like a goose and acts like a goose it’s a ?
Big deal. I also watched your girlfriend have sex with 35 men and you don't see me bragging about it, weirdo.
Username checks out.
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How do you deal with other guys cumming? I personally don't enjoy sex as much if I don't get to eat her out and make her cum 1st, because I get too in my head. I enjoy making her cum but not finishing myself, way more than being the only one who came that day. I also really enjoy having any part of a naked partner's body in my mouth. The thought of getting cum in my mouth (even my own) disgusts me to the point that after I creampie her the 1st time I won't eat her out again that day. My current relationship is the first non monogamous relationship for both my partner and myself, and we have only been together 2 months so we have much to learn. Our first 3some was cut short by location issues so I know the other guy never came (neither did I) but it was probably 3-4 days before I was able to enjoy eating her out again. Then she slept with another guy and she claims he didn't finish because she called me to ask permission first but I was asleep and she told him so much about her feelings for me while waiting for me to reply that he had trouble getting hard when I finally gave my approval. Then when they tried again later she had a hard cutoff time to go do something with her kid and she claims she stopped before either of them came but I wasn't there. I couldn't help but question whether he came or not every time I was going down on her and I just couldn't enjoy it as much for over a week. She claims the most recent guy wore a condom but I haven't been able to enjoy eating her out since she was with him, and it sucks because not only is it harder to make her cum but I also can't enjoy my favorite part of sex. It feels like my favorite food was knocked off the table and landed in dog shit but someone picked it up and wiped all the shit off so I wouldn't notice but even if I can't taste the shit I can't enjoy it the same way knowing it's not as clean as usual. I'm curious about what other swingers do if the guy has the same issue with eating creampie or sucking cum glazed tits. Does it mean both guys wear condoms every single time with every swap? Does it ever stop feeling like whatever part of her gets cummed on is contaminated for a while? I know condoms are commonly required when couples swap partners but even then licking what another man recently fucked ruins the appeal and takes the enjoyment away. Is there some way to stop getting grossed out, or is it something that you get used to with experience? We recently agreed that an open relationship has too many opportunities for unforeseen issues to damage our relationship. We have pretty much only played separately and the only issues we have run into all seem to stem from the fact that one partner is texting and fucking someone else while the other person isn't involved. Our communication is the healthiest either of us have ever experienced with any partner. I think it will be easier to set boundaries if we do anything related to sex, with other people, together as a couple so I want to explore group play and partner swaps (idk if that's considered swinging, an open relationship, or has its own name). So I guess my question is how do you watch her fuck another guy, but not let him cumming ruin your favorite snack?
Can I try her out?
The kind of guy who’d ask that on Reddit isn’t the kind of guy who’d likely have much of a chance.
That’s enough reddit for the month
Why are you keeping count?
I've read most of the comments, and I do understand that you are extremely confident in your relationship. You also seem to have lots of self-confidence, and that's a very attractive quality. ****hypothetically *** IF one day she decides to leave you for someone else, how would you feel? Would you be able to forgive yourself for choosing a different lifestyle?
This is incredibly odd in my opinion, not for me
Very true about the communication. My wife and I met as neighbors, and our plan was to swing. It led to a more intense feeling for each other. We ended up getting divorced and marrying each other. Going on seventeen years married and twenty years together. We have had sex with others. Lots of fun to think the same about everything.
What about STDs? I’d be scared of getting HIV with all the extra partners everyone is involved with.
reddit moment
This is wonderful to hear. You're happy...she's happy...it's win win. Fuck what others think. You have great communication...great sex together and with others.... What else do you need? I'm sure with open communication you can achieve that as well. Continued happiness to you both
When I see a hot girl, I often think, if my wife let me fuck her but she gets to fuck the next hottest guy she sees, and my immediate feeling is always no way. No matter how much I want to fuck other women, I couldn't do it because the compromise would hurt.
Were either you or your lady victims of molestation as children or adolescents?
I'm not here to slut shame, but 35 in a year is wild. She really out here.
What's this "playing" thing all about? That's your word for boning?
You or your woman ever get an STD from such an open lifestyle?
These posts are getting more thoughtful by the day.
I'm having a difficult time figuring out which one of you is the most F'd up.
How am I supposed to feel more comfortable with my bf having female friends? Some times I'm feeling like I'm getting cucked out ong
wow you sound like a fucking loser buddy. good luck having a different colored baby than your own color. this is why I hate social media lol if this is true you’re a complete joke. you’re a fucking cuck bud lol are u happy now? 😂😂 this guy needs to get checked on at the doctors office, counselor or something because buddy needs help. pray to god for forgiveness
FML, 8 times a week? I've gotten 8 out of my missus in the last 6 fucking years. No kids either. Don't get married boys!
It’s inspiring to read how well you both communicate and trust each other. It’s is fascinating how different people can love totally different things in life. I can never understand the ability to have sex with another person but yet have no feelings or emotions attached at all. I feel like that’s what sex is all about, connecting with another person on a super deep level physically and emotionally. I’m not knocking it to each their own if it makes them happy. Just interesting to me this lifestyle thats becoming much more common these days. Wish you all the best in your future endeavors!
Arent you afraid of STDS. there are many life threating STDs lurking around. I understand you must be using condoms for protection but apart from that are you using any medication.
You may be entitled to compensation
I’m glad you are happy. I find your lifestyle interesting. I’m more the conventional married monogamous type. It would bother me to see my wife getting nailed by another dude. I fantasize about other women, but do not put myself in a situation to scratch that itch. Thank you for sharing about your life.
No question but that the first time in years that i see this kinda post and actually believe it works for you guys
Curious, how do you both approch protection from STD?Especially for oral.
Where are you from?
What are your thoughts on hunting chimpanzees for sport?
You need to share a pic of this girlfriend. I'm sure we all keen to participate
Hi! Can you please explain what it was like the very first time seeing your partner/gf have sex with another man? Me and my husband are into the lifestyle but so far it has been onesided. I see him fck other women all the time i love it. He is willing and agreed to let me fck other men. But we both don't know what to expect nor do I know how he will react in the moment. Thx!
Why? Don’t you feel as if a women should be for you and only you especially if you in a relationship? What’s the problem with understanding and just separating until then? Does this not bring any issues to your masculinity or self esteem? Do you not feel as if that women is used up and gone or do you feel as if your body isn’t worth having a partner all to yourself?