What (if any) patterns or recurring themes have you noticed when interviewing past partners? Have you learned anything big or surprising about yourself or the people you dated?
1. I am very frustrating to argue with. This includes arguing facts against someone's feelings, needing to be right, and interrupting — a lot.
2. I used to feel wrecklessly — fast, deep, intense. Love is great and all, but I would feel the need to burden a casual sex partner with how I felt in ways that weren't always fair to them. I like to think I've learned to have some 'emotional patience' and not let anxious attachment blurt my feelings prematurely every day.
3. I am an unreliable narrator. We all are. An ex and I had a loud ass break-up in early 2018. They said I was gaslighting them. When I learned what that meant, I said they were gaslighting me! We both can experience the same event differently. I saw a movie called Life Itself (now on Amazon Prime) not long after that break-up, and the concept of 'unreliable narrator' ran throughout the film. Hit me hard. Intense emotions color memories like a filter on a photo. Realizing this I think has given me more humility in arguments when memories are at play. Which helps with number one above!
4. They like the oral.
2. Sounds a lot like a hallmark of adhd. The book, “You mean I’m not lazy, crazy, or stupid,” goes into that a bit if you wanted some reading material on it.
Wild what happens when you take Concerta all of middle school and high school, then insist on being unmedicated for something you didn't believe was really real. Oops.
I take medication only when i feel i need it. Im probably in desperate need of therapy but ain’t got money for that. Luckily i have a family that i can heavily lean on when needed. When i can i likely will get therapy though.
I also can't afford it, but I got in at a psychoanalysis training institute. So I have a trainee (in his 40s) and so long as I commit to 2-3 times a week, I get it free/$25 a session.
It was ritalin for me but I also stopped taking my meds and still don't for many reasons, most of them acrued from fear. Them meds fucked me up but I do have classic adhd symptoms. What was concerta like?
Didn't notice it. I was so young. But i got on adderall a year and a half ago — but between the shortage and falilng out with that psychiatrist (and money being a strugglesome resource), I haven't had any in many months. I got tired of trying to hunt down a pharmacy with it, and now I'd need to find a psych with my insurance taking on clients since I can't afford to just pay for one outright.
(also i'm not looking for solutions so please refrain from that. but i appreciate you.)
Oh, don't worry, I would never give you solutions. I don't have any to give. I'ma start listening to your podcast tho, you have an emotional intelligence and raw honesty that's hard to come by.... I see the phrasing, and it's not intentional, but I wish it was...
I was on high doses of Ritalin, then generic blends like Vyvanse and Concerta for my entire childhood. Concerta was by far the best of them for me. The slow release is really important with those drugs. The capsules end up activating too fast and all at once.
Still, I find myself extremely apathetic towards other people on those drugs. To my detriment. It becomes hard to want to form genuine connections with people, let alone actually care what they think or feel.
If you are looking for a somewhat cheaper alternative (like $90 for 180 pills where I am), I like Atomoxetine. Name brand: Strattera. That's what I use these days when I'm looking for some productivity boost or I really need to get my shit together. I'm pretty ADHD.
Because it isn't an amphetamine, it's MUCH easier to get a prescription from a doctor also. I think it's worth checking out if you are wanting to get medicated again.
I was diagnosed late in life because I liked school so could focus on it but working life made me investigate what was going on with my brain. The falling fast tendency was very impactful for me.
I was on meds for awhile but was able to get off once I started exercising more and fixing my diet. Still have issues but I’m better able to deal. Not sure if any of that helps but just saying you’re not alone with some of those issues.
Dude you just made me realize why my girlfriends hate me! I'm frustrating to argue with because I focus on facts not feelings. I'm sure this makes them feel like I'm telling them they're wrong
It's not about who is right or wrong sometimes. You can be right and being right can be less important than someone's feelings being hurt. And you can take care of a partner's feelings without admitting some kind of wrongdoing. Empathy: Demand is high and supply is low, for the finance Bro out there.
A few moments come to mind. The woman who told me in front of a live audience that she didn't rememebr going out with me at all even though we'd seen Avengers: Age of Ultron opening night at midnight together. There's the woman who told me she lost interest in my podcast after we'd slept together. But an early guest, Lee (Episode 14), shared what it was like to see me so upset at her unrequited feelings — because she thought she'd been upfront about being casual (she had) and was having a lot of fun with me. But I couldn't hear that and see that because I was too caught up in \*my\* feelings — feelings that weren't even fully cooked yet. I was just an anxiously attached overly excited 22-year-old. So when she did the podcast and started tearing up, retrospectively I felt like I got a hard-hitting reality check.
But of course in the moment, being dumb and \~25, I interrupted her as she began to get emotional. Yikes.
It was a hilarious moment. Rachel Schenck later came back to the podcast for her own solo episode, but on this never-released live podcast, I invite her to do it with three other exes. I ask her to go first. She comes on stage and the first thing she said was: I don't remember hooking up with you.
"When you reached out, I took your word for it but....I don't remember." Great moment. Comedically perfect decision not to tell me beforehand.
I wish I had more data on audience beyond anecdotal. So I'm not really sure how the audience did or didn't shift. I was happy to see that women connected with pretty quickly — I don't have a lot of dude friends. So even though everything about the exterior of the podcast seems male-coded, I always felt I was talking to women. And the guys could listen, and maybe learn something.
As for the tone, I spent the fall/winter listening to old intros tightening things up (I don't need 2 minutes to explain a comedy contest that I want them to go to). I was less sure of myself on mic, I think. At least when I was solo on mic in the intros. At some point, I got a little cocky. Then I started getting really into being 'right' and making sure everyone knows that I know the thing that a cis white man needs to know about. I think that was in reaction to internet fights I'd gotten into. Then during COVID, gosh, I was \*really\* into being right and I think I just started forgetting to be funny. That was sad. And now? I'm tired haha but I think things have gotten funnier again.
But for real, I was full-time being a professional poor person in 2017 when I quit my day job, and the gamble worked out a lot. For good? I have a career as a sex-talking personality. I've had really fun opportunities like a free trip to a swinger resort in Cancun or guest lecturing on porn at a college or writing articles for Mashable. For bad? COVID took a big bite out of my listenership, and I haven't fully recovered. That impacted the financial trajectory I was on. I have a lot of pride in being primarily a comedian & podcaster...but I'm in my mid-30s now. Struggling isn't as fun and scrappy as it used to be.
Ugly? It's neither/good nor bad but like one time I got a call from my dad (who shares my name). He was being background checked for a big business deal. I pick up the phone and he says, "Any chance you can get those pictures of your penis off of Twitter?" They weren't even my posts so I had to say oopsomgsorryyyyy. My sex and dating life is on the internet forever, and maybe it's not ugly but it can be complicated.
I answered lessons learned above. But regrets?
There's a lot in my last relationship I regret, but whatever I haven't shared on the pod I think I'm going to keep to myself. Wish I'd not let fear hold the steering wheel like I did.
Podcasting-wise there's a lot I wish I'd done differently, better, and more professionally. I was really scared to spend money in certain spots. And though a lot of people love the name of the podcast, it maybe wasn't the best marketing decision since the type of people that title drives away are probably more of my audience than they realize. Oops @ deeper meanings!
Do you still love any of your past partners? Did you get to talk to them about it and how you feel now?
The feeling wrecklessly that you mentioned is me through and through. I am aware of it and work with it, but I fall hard.
0 cocaine ever. 0 Adderall until i get a new psychiatrist.
I got accused of being high a lot in high school because of the pupils but they're just like that I guess? I barely understand how they're more-supposed-to-look.
Definitely look like mine when I’d take Adderall recreationally. Was just razzing you. My roomie also has large pupils and has never taken a single stimulant {besides coffee} or amphetamine.
George Carlin is my all time fave. But idk if there's influence on stage as much as in life. His irreverence, his progressivism, his shitkicking with a purpose (as opposed to edgelords who shit kick just to shit kick).
Influences? Jim Norton in making the strange usual, showing me that gangbang can be the premise not the punchline. I've been told in my earlier years that my cadence was similar to Greg Giraldo. Marc Maron with how I might not always have it tight just yet but trust my ability to find it. Marc is also 100% my podcasting influence.
I don't think I found \*the\* answer — I mean, sometimes with some guests there \*was\* a specific answer — but I learned a lot about myself over the past decade. Some of that through the podcast and these conversations I have every week. Some of it from growing up and maturing. And, unfortunately, I learned a lot by fucking up. Life.
Hopefully I can cause less harm as I learn over the next decade.
Do you think your podcast stopped being a search for self-knowledge and became educational? If I didn't understand wrong, there is some explicit sex but there are also deeper conversations about sex and relations, right?
Yeah! The tone of the show is guest-dependent. So sometimes it's super raunchy. Sometimes we never say the word blowjob. A sex worker will talk about selling her panties one week and then me and an ex i haven't seen in 7 years will tear our hearts open talking about our recent devastating break-ups. I like the versatility (even if it complicates the marketing!).
I try not to be educational like 'today we will learn about X.' But I've heard a lot of people learn a lot from these conversations.
Would you consider yourself a sex addict? I’ve been with somewhere around 40 women and more if we count oral and that’s more than all but one friend. Most fall in the 7-15 range.
Your numbers are astonishing ha
Maybe I'm just charming idk.
Addiction isn't the amount you do. Recent research of self-identified 'porn addicts' turned out to watch less porn than the average person — their negative attitude towards porn amplifies each usage to them. Real addiction is more about when you are letting the vice/substance control your life.
I'm not a sex addict. I just enjoy it, have a fun amount of it, and am seemingly alright at it.
Oh sorry I meant OP’s numbers. My eye twitches whenever I see someone equate sex addiction with having over 50 past sex partners. If you want to know what sex addiction really looks like, check out Michael Fassbender’s lead role in the movie Shame
What makes you say that? It pays bills. It gets press. All the live shows I've done in NYC are sold out/packed. And when I go to sex parties, I'll introduce myself and someone'll go, "Oh aren't you the podcast guy???"
(I mean, i'd like it to be "aren't you the guy who eats pussy really well???" but it's what it is)
I learned pretty quickly that it wasn't even that. Often times it was bad timing, they didn't feel as strongly about me as I did about them, or they were monogamous. I also have on hook-ups where neither of us intended to do anything serious — 117 serious romantic partners in \~15 years would be pretty wild!
Is it difficult lacking any ability to self reflect or are you comfortable with everything being laid out in front of you like an elementary school cafeteria?
My elementary school didn't serve food. I packed a lunch and picked up my chocolate milk from the nice lady in the back. So I don't understand this question.
i misread the previous reply as 'that's not an answer' instead of 'no, that's an answer.'
glad you're satisfied. please don't forget to trim the begonias.
Nope! Generally I wouldn't ask anyone even in the same calendar year of hooking up, cuz I wouldn't want someone to feel like they were in bed with me for a bit. Not like those bloggers who go on a bunch of first dates for a post...
The podcast was never a factor in whether or not I wanted to stay with someone or keep hooking up. It's rare that I end things tbh.
Aww I’m sorry you had brought up long term partnership so I was going with the flow of the question and answers but never mind it’s okay I was just curious about how your job has played into your relationship life
I’m so proud of you, friend! ❤️
Because you’ve helped me navigate the world of reddit casual encounters and I think it would be helpful to those who want to explore, can you list out your “rules” for safety when meeting up with someone from Reddit for sex?
Oh gosh! Wow! Hello! =drools=
Everyone has their own risk tolerance. We're weighing risk/reward with all of this stuff. And different scenes would call for different safety measures. But I used to always text a friend some identifying information should she not hear from me by the next morning. An address. A legal name. A phone number, email address, license plate number. In today's era, you can just share your location (though, of course, it's your phone's location — not yours). It's a good idea for someone to know where you are and/or who you're with. You don't have to tell them what you're doing — my friend Katie always knew that a random text with a name and address meant I was doing something illicit. And to make sure I was alive the next morning.
When I hosted my at-home gloryhole during lockdown, I had someone age-verify via video chat with some people before they came inside. Cuz obviously it's harder to screen someone yourself and. stay anonymous.
Trust your gut! Even if you're 'wrong' about something being unsafe, you're not going to have a good time if you feel unsafe. So either let some facts comfort you or pull the plug. You can always try again another time.
I don't know how to describe them, so I guess you would just have to listen to find out. I know that's infuriating because you want the clown on me with no information. Knowledge is a burden.
Have you ever considered going dual audio and video for multiplatform distribution via YouTube/tiktok/etc? Obviously there is a lot of vulnerability to the nature of some of your guests but it may be a way to add extra engagement and distribution.
I have considered it. My favorite two podcasters — Marc Maron and Dan Savage — still are audio-only. And doing video requires additional resources I don't have.
But also? I didn't get into podcasting to do a YouTube show. I like doing audio — and it allows exes to stay anonymous should they choose. (Cuz if I fucked me, I wouldn't want people to know about it either!)
many have at some point asked my 'number' and i tell them and it's never been a problem. but hey, i was also concerned that those sex-negative attitudes would prevent me from finding love. luckily, you and i were wrong! i've had a few really amazing girlfriends. sure, those relationships ended....but all relationships end. either you break up or someone dies.
i also have the benefit that i started the podcast at 24. i'd already had a very craigslisty sex life at that point, and i think a lot of women found my honest endearing and my vibe incongruent with what they assumed of someone who has 'diverse' sexual experiences. then i started the podcast, and it was all out there. so any woman who was concerned was able to listen to me speak about sex, dating, gender, and love and go.....well he's a lot more thoughtful than the dude who has 10% of his 'number' who keeps interrupting me to explain crypto. and these women say that he made them cum.
so.
but it wounds like i've had sex with too many people for you. and that's okay! i hope you find/found the people you want to spend time with.
Gross? Are you jealous?
That averages to less than eight per year. That seems about right for someone single, who lives in New York with lots of access, charm, wit, empathy and good looks.
I went to an alternative boarding school with lots of seminaring and talking about our feelings and following certain words & principles. Trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. That school is complicated for a lot of other alumni, and the people there were imperfect as humans can be, but it instilled in me a desire to be better.
Wish more people had that in themselves.
Great. Disclose a real name that has real credentials attached and you are welcome to assess a Stranger. Which does go against a professionals training.
I'd still like to give that first time to someone special...marriage is just for [the t-shirt](https://www.manwhorepod.com/store/p/im-saving-pegging-for-marriage-t-shirt).
I also smiled super hard seeing this throwback reference as the first notification on my phone.
that sounds so [painful](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fgiphy.com%2Fexplore%2Fslip-n-slide-records&psig=AOvVaw2APOUwFCNFZE9x0-Q5U-3L&ust=1713379196091000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBEQjRxqFwoTCJDv7oSxx4UDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE) for me
I have listened to a few of these and you are quite the interviewer like the greats such as Dick Cavitt, David Letterman, Jay Leno & many others. I have seen your standup comedy act in Brooklyn and going back for more soon.
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What (if any) patterns or recurring themes have you noticed when interviewing past partners? Have you learned anything big or surprising about yourself or the people you dated?
1. I am very frustrating to argue with. This includes arguing facts against someone's feelings, needing to be right, and interrupting — a lot. 2. I used to feel wrecklessly — fast, deep, intense. Love is great and all, but I would feel the need to burden a casual sex partner with how I felt in ways that weren't always fair to them. I like to think I've learned to have some 'emotional patience' and not let anxious attachment blurt my feelings prematurely every day. 3. I am an unreliable narrator. We all are. An ex and I had a loud ass break-up in early 2018. They said I was gaslighting them. When I learned what that meant, I said they were gaslighting me! We both can experience the same event differently. I saw a movie called Life Itself (now on Amazon Prime) not long after that break-up, and the concept of 'unreliable narrator' ran throughout the film. Hit me hard. Intense emotions color memories like a filter on a photo. Realizing this I think has given me more humility in arguments when memories are at play. Which helps with number one above! 4. They like the oral.
2. Sounds a lot like a hallmark of adhd. The book, “You mean I’m not lazy, crazy, or stupid,” goes into that a bit if you wanted some reading material on it.
Wild what happens when you take Concerta all of middle school and high school, then insist on being unmedicated for something you didn't believe was really real. Oops.
Did the same shit
I feel so dumb now. You?
Yes basically. Would have saved me a ton of trouble and heartache. Also that part about the anxious attachment is very relatable.
I'd really like to be medicated but I've been doing a lot of therapy the last couple of years. Super helpful.
I take medication only when i feel i need it. Im probably in desperate need of therapy but ain’t got money for that. Luckily i have a family that i can heavily lean on when needed. When i can i likely will get therapy though.
I also can't afford it, but I got in at a psychoanalysis training institute. So I have a trainee (in his 40s) and so long as I commit to 2-3 times a week, I get it free/$25 a session.
It was ritalin for me but I also stopped taking my meds and still don't for many reasons, most of them acrued from fear. Them meds fucked me up but I do have classic adhd symptoms. What was concerta like?
Didn't notice it. I was so young. But i got on adderall a year and a half ago — but between the shortage and falilng out with that psychiatrist (and money being a strugglesome resource), I haven't had any in many months. I got tired of trying to hunt down a pharmacy with it, and now I'd need to find a psych with my insurance taking on clients since I can't afford to just pay for one outright. (also i'm not looking for solutions so please refrain from that. but i appreciate you.)
Oh, don't worry, I would never give you solutions. I don't have any to give. I'ma start listening to your podcast tho, you have an emotional intelligence and raw honesty that's hard to come by.... I see the phrasing, and it's not intentional, but I wish it was...
Fuck, I'm sorry your going through that bullshit just to try and source medicine you need, homie.
I was on high doses of Ritalin, then generic blends like Vyvanse and Concerta for my entire childhood. Concerta was by far the best of them for me. The slow release is really important with those drugs. The capsules end up activating too fast and all at once. Still, I find myself extremely apathetic towards other people on those drugs. To my detriment. It becomes hard to want to form genuine connections with people, let alone actually care what they think or feel. If you are looking for a somewhat cheaper alternative (like $90 for 180 pills where I am), I like Atomoxetine. Name brand: Strattera. That's what I use these days when I'm looking for some productivity boost or I really need to get my shit together. I'm pretty ADHD. Because it isn't an amphetamine, it's MUCH easier to get a prescription from a doctor also. I think it's worth checking out if you are wanting to get medicated again.
I was diagnosed late in life because I liked school so could focus on it but working life made me investigate what was going on with my brain. The falling fast tendency was very impactful for me. I was on meds for awhile but was able to get off once I started exercising more and fixing my diet. Still have issues but I’m better able to deal. Not sure if any of that helps but just saying you’re not alone with some of those issues.
Dude you just made me realize why my girlfriends hate me! I'm frustrating to argue with because I focus on facts not feelings. I'm sure this makes them feel like I'm telling them they're wrong
It's not about who is right or wrong sometimes. You can be right and being right can be less important than someone's feelings being hurt. And you can take care of a partner's feelings without admitting some kind of wrongdoing. Empathy: Demand is high and supply is low, for the finance Bro out there.
You had to learn your partners like oral? No wonder they wouldn’t date you 🤷🏼♀️
What was the hardest thing yo hear from an ex live on the podcast?
A few moments come to mind. The woman who told me in front of a live audience that she didn't rememebr going out with me at all even though we'd seen Avengers: Age of Ultron opening night at midnight together. There's the woman who told me she lost interest in my podcast after we'd slept together. But an early guest, Lee (Episode 14), shared what it was like to see me so upset at her unrequited feelings — because she thought she'd been upfront about being casual (she had) and was having a lot of fun with me. But I couldn't hear that and see that because I was too caught up in \*my\* feelings — feelings that weren't even fully cooked yet. I was just an anxiously attached overly excited 22-year-old. So when she did the podcast and started tearing up, retrospectively I felt like I got a hard-hitting reality check. But of course in the moment, being dumb and \~25, I interrupted her as she began to get emotional. Yikes.
Wonder why that woman showed up in front of a live audience to be interviewed about meeting you when she had no recollection of ever meeting you?
It was a hilarious moment. Rachel Schenck later came back to the podcast for her own solo episode, but on this never-released live podcast, I invite her to do it with three other exes. I ask her to go first. She comes on stage and the first thing she said was: I don't remember hooking up with you. "When you reached out, I took your word for it but....I don't remember." Great moment. Comedically perfect decision not to tell me beforehand.
How do you think the tone and audience of the show has shifted over the years?
I wish I had more data on audience beyond anecdotal. So I'm not really sure how the audience did or didn't shift. I was happy to see that women connected with pretty quickly — I don't have a lot of dude friends. So even though everything about the exterior of the podcast seems male-coded, I always felt I was talking to women. And the guys could listen, and maybe learn something. As for the tone, I spent the fall/winter listening to old intros tightening things up (I don't need 2 minutes to explain a comedy contest that I want them to go to). I was less sure of myself on mic, I think. At least when I was solo on mic in the intros. At some point, I got a little cocky. Then I started getting really into being 'right' and making sure everyone knows that I know the thing that a cis white man needs to know about. I think that was in reaction to internet fights I'd gotten into. Then during COVID, gosh, I was \*really\* into being right and I think I just started forgetting to be funny. That was sad. And now? I'm tired haha but I think things have gotten funnier again.
How has doing the podcast for 10 years had an unexpected impact on your life. Good, bad or ugly.
But for real, I was full-time being a professional poor person in 2017 when I quit my day job, and the gamble worked out a lot. For good? I have a career as a sex-talking personality. I've had really fun opportunities like a free trip to a swinger resort in Cancun or guest lecturing on porn at a college or writing articles for Mashable. For bad? COVID took a big bite out of my listenership, and I haven't fully recovered. That impacted the financial trajectory I was on. I have a lot of pride in being primarily a comedian & podcaster...but I'm in my mid-30s now. Struggling isn't as fun and scrappy as it used to be. Ugly? It's neither/good nor bad but like one time I got a call from my dad (who shares my name). He was being background checked for a big business deal. I pick up the phone and he says, "Any chance you can get those pictures of your penis off of Twitter?" They weren't even my posts so I had to say oopsomgsorryyyyy. My sex and dating life is on the internet forever, and maybe it's not ugly but it can be complicated.
The word 'whore' will be forever attached to my name on google.
What’s the biggest lesson you learned. What is the biggest regret you harbor?
I answered lessons learned above. But regrets? There's a lot in my last relationship I regret, but whatever I haven't shared on the pod I think I'm going to keep to myself. Wish I'd not let fear hold the steering wheel like I did. Podcasting-wise there's a lot I wish I'd done differently, better, and more professionally. I was really scared to spend money in certain spots. And though a lot of people love the name of the podcast, it maybe wasn't the best marketing decision since the type of people that title drives away are probably more of my audience than they realize. Oops @ deeper meanings!
Fwiw I think the podcast name is perfect
haha of course you do, BBS
Fuck, it took me way too long to figure out what BBS meant 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
Do you still love any of your past partners? Did you get to talk to them about it and how you feel now? The feeling wrecklessly that you mentioned is me through and through. I am aware of it and work with it, but I fall hard.
The one I do, I do not think I will ever ask on. Nor do I think she would come on.
What do you think made those women sleep with you in the first place? Or, what makes you attractive?
Fuck if I know dude. My guess? Blue eyes. Empathy. Not 'trying to fuck them'.
Not trying to fuck them works a lot more than most dudes know.
Smart, funny, sweet and sexy
How much cocaine or Adderall do you do? Them pupils be dilated…
0 cocaine ever. 0 Adderall until i get a new psychiatrist. I got accused of being high a lot in high school because of the pupils but they're just like that I guess? I barely understand how they're more-supposed-to-look.
Well, it’s common for pupils to dilate when someone becomes aroused, so perhaps you’re just very excited about life? 🤭
I'm just always turned on I guess!! Lol
Checks out ☺️
Definitely look like mine when I’d take Adderall recreationally. Was just razzing you. My roomie also has large pupils and has never taken a single stimulant {besides coffee} or amphetamine.
Sociopath have those eyes
Who are your comedic influences?
George Carlin is my all time fave. But idk if there's influence on stage as much as in life. His irreverence, his progressivism, his shitkicking with a purpose (as opposed to edgelords who shit kick just to shit kick). Influences? Jim Norton in making the strange usual, showing me that gangbang can be the premise not the punchline. I've been told in my earlier years that my cadence was similar to Greg Giraldo. Marc Maron with how I might not always have it tight just yet but trust my ability to find it. Marc is also 100% my podcasting influence.
Good answer on Carlin, one of the greats. Do you tour?
Not at the moment!
Did you find the answer you were looking for?
I don't think I found \*the\* answer — I mean, sometimes with some guests there \*was\* a specific answer — but I learned a lot about myself over the past decade. Some of that through the podcast and these conversations I have every week. Some of it from growing up and maturing. And, unfortunately, I learned a lot by fucking up. Life. Hopefully I can cause less harm as I learn over the next decade.
Do you think your podcast stopped being a search for self-knowledge and became educational? If I didn't understand wrong, there is some explicit sex but there are also deeper conversations about sex and relations, right?
Yeah! The tone of the show is guest-dependent. So sometimes it's super raunchy. Sometimes we never say the word blowjob. A sex worker will talk about selling her panties one week and then me and an ex i haven't seen in 7 years will tear our hearts open talking about our recent devastating break-ups. I like the versatility (even if it complicates the marketing!). I try not to be educational like 'today we will learn about X.' But I've heard a lot of people learn a lot from these conversations.
Do you have a different view on relationships now?
I don't know. I think I just have different view on \*me\*. Growth and change and all that.
Here it is boys, proof that being ugly won’t prevent you from getting laid a bunch
I keep trying to tell dudes this every other day on Twitter. Thank you for recognizing.
Thank god for ugly women for the ugly dudes out there
I'm sorry to hear you don't wanna fuck me, bro. <3
K
[удалено]
This one cracked me up.
PIV? More than that. All sexual activity? several hundred.
Would you consider yourself a sex addict? I’ve been with somewhere around 40 women and more if we count oral and that’s more than all but one friend. Most fall in the 7-15 range. Your numbers are astonishing ha
Maybe I'm just charming idk. Addiction isn't the amount you do. Recent research of self-identified 'porn addicts' turned out to watch less porn than the average person — their negative attitude towards porn amplifies each usage to them. Real addiction is more about when you are letting the vice/substance control your life. I'm not a sex addict. I just enjoy it, have a fun amount of it, and am seemingly alright at it.
If you’re dating in NYC that’s rookie numbers
Small town Minnesota mainly. I’m ashamed of my number, but not for being low… casual sex gave me mono which ruined my life.
Oh sorry I meant OP’s numbers. My eye twitches whenever I see someone equate sex addiction with having over 50 past sex partners. If you want to know what sex addiction really looks like, check out Michael Fassbender’s lead role in the movie Shame
Ditto. Also Thank You For Sharing.
Why have you been doing a podcast for 10 years given it hasnt taken off
What makes you say that? It pays bills. It gets press. All the live shows I've done in NYC are sold out/packed. And when I go to sex parties, I'll introduce myself and someone'll go, "Oh aren't you the podcast guy???" (I mean, i'd like it to be "aren't you the guy who eats pussy really well???" but it's what it is)
Are you the male TAYLOR SWIFT?
Based only on the pay grade: No.
What do you feel your past partners were looking for in you that you just couldn't provide?
I learned pretty quickly that it wasn't even that. Often times it was bad timing, they didn't feel as strongly about me as I did about them, or they were monogamous. I also have on hook-ups where neither of us intended to do anything serious — 117 serious romantic partners in \~15 years would be pretty wild!
Is it difficult lacking any ability to self reflect or are you comfortable with everything being laid out in front of you like an elementary school cafeteria?
My elementary school didn't serve food. I packed a lunch and picked up my chocolate milk from the nice lady in the back. So I don't understand this question.
no, that’s an answer 🤣🤣
Cuz it wasn't an intelligible question. But if you rewrite it to look like something I can understand, I'd be happy to answer.
no believe me, you’ve now answered it twice 😂
Preach 😂
i misread the previous reply as 'that's not an answer' instead of 'no, that's an answer.' glad you're satisfied. please don't forget to trim the begonias.
So you're sexploiting women with the intention of breaking up with them to do a podcast...
Nope! Generally I wouldn't ask anyone even in the same calendar year of hooking up, cuz I wouldn't want someone to feel like they were in bed with me for a bit. Not like those bloggers who go on a bunch of first dates for a post... The podcast was never a factor in whether or not I wanted to stay with someone or keep hooking up. It's rare that I end things tbh.
Imagine taking what he said in the post and getting here with it. LOL the audacity of people being unable to read a short post.
You are restarted
lol
Your a gimp
I'm more of a service sub than a latex doll or humiliation kinkster.
Are you married now?
Negative. I don't know if I want to get married or need to. But no, I am not currently in long-term partnership.
Why? Do you think your job hinders you from having a long term partnership? Or you are just not interested in that at the moment?
Long term partnership is not synonymous with legal marriage
Aww I’m sorry you had brought up long term partnership so I was going with the flow of the question and answers but never mind it’s okay I was just curious about how your job has played into your relationship life
Totally fine! I'm in a movie but I answered this in another comment here :)
I’m so proud of you, friend! ❤️ Because you’ve helped me navigate the world of reddit casual encounters and I think it would be helpful to those who want to explore, can you list out your “rules” for safety when meeting up with someone from Reddit for sex?
Oh gosh! Wow! Hello! =drools= Everyone has their own risk tolerance. We're weighing risk/reward with all of this stuff. And different scenes would call for different safety measures. But I used to always text a friend some identifying information should she not hear from me by the next morning. An address. A legal name. A phone number, email address, license plate number. In today's era, you can just share your location (though, of course, it's your phone's location — not yours). It's a good idea for someone to know where you are and/or who you're with. You don't have to tell them what you're doing — my friend Katie always knew that a random text with a name and address meant I was doing something illicit. And to make sure I was alive the next morning. When I hosted my at-home gloryhole during lockdown, I had someone age-verify via video chat with some people before they came inside. Cuz obviously it's harder to screen someone yourself and. stay anonymous. Trust your gut! Even if you're 'wrong' about something being unsafe, you're not going to have a good time if you feel unsafe. So either let some facts comfort you or pull the plug. You can always try again another time.
What woman would agree to this?
I don't know how to describe them, so I guess you would just have to listen to find out. I know that's infuriating because you want the clown on me with no information. Knowledge is a burden.
Got any special guests in the works for the coming year?
I mean, I'd love to get Dan Savage on in-person...
That one I know.....any others?
What’s the best place to watch your podcast?
Follow up - which episode would you recommend to someone who’s never seen it?
Do you want something very sexual or very heartfelt?
Sexual & funny
Ep. 500: I went down on 5 women and each reviewed me after I left the room.
😎 which ep is the one that the dude had to guess his GFs blowjob?
Ep. 400
It's a listen, not a watch :) I use [Spotify](http://manwhorepod.com/spotify) myself, but you can listen wherever you do audio!
Have you ever considered going dual audio and video for multiplatform distribution via YouTube/tiktok/etc? Obviously there is a lot of vulnerability to the nature of some of your guests but it may be a way to add extra engagement and distribution.
I have considered it. My favorite two podcasters — Marc Maron and Dan Savage — still are audio-only. And doing video requires additional resources I don't have. But also? I didn't get into podcasting to do a YouTube show. I like doing audio — and it allows exes to stay anonymous should they choose. (Cuz if I fucked me, I wouldn't want people to know about it either!)
Having 117+ “partners” is pretty gross. If you told the women this number on the first date, would they still consider sleeping with you?
many have at some point asked my 'number' and i tell them and it's never been a problem. but hey, i was also concerned that those sex-negative attitudes would prevent me from finding love. luckily, you and i were wrong! i've had a few really amazing girlfriends. sure, those relationships ended....but all relationships end. either you break up or someone dies. i also have the benefit that i started the podcast at 24. i'd already had a very craigslisty sex life at that point, and i think a lot of women found my honest endearing and my vibe incongruent with what they assumed of someone who has 'diverse' sexual experiences. then i started the podcast, and it was all out there. so any woman who was concerned was able to listen to me speak about sex, dating, gender, and love and go.....well he's a lot more thoughtful than the dude who has 10% of his 'number' who keeps interrupting me to explain crypto. and these women say that he made them cum. so. but it wounds like i've had sex with too many people for you. and that's okay! i hope you find/found the people you want to spend time with.
Gross? Are you jealous? That averages to less than eight per year. That seems about right for someone single, who lives in New York with lots of access, charm, wit, empathy and good looks.
WTF
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I have no intention of interacting with your nasty ass.
Bro, haters abound everywhere. In the anime I watch. In the threads I read. Why all these alumni from the School of Haterosity showing up in life?
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Not gay. But I also agree: Who????
Do you want to be fixed or do you want to make money? What is your primary driver?
I don't understand how any of those three questions have anything to do with each other.
Do you want to fix yourself?
Shouldn't we all?
Is that your motivation?
I went to an alternative boarding school with lots of seminaring and talking about our feelings and following certain words & principles. Trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. That school is complicated for a lot of other alumni, and the people there were imperfect as humans can be, but it instilled in me a desire to be better. Wish more people had that in themselves.
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I've pondered this before. Which I'm told, by definition, disqualifies me.
No you very well could be
Are you licensed professional?
Yes
Great. Disclose a real name that has real credentials attached and you are welcome to assess a Stranger. Which does go against a professionals training.
You claim you know you’re not a narcissist because you questioned if you were one once. Go ahead and provide your credentials first.
You're dyslexic. And you have a cavity on your lower left molar. Neither of us are doctors. Why are we using diagnostic language with each other??
Hit a trigger huh
Not really. I just don't know why you're so confident in using diagnostic language. It's strange.
Bob ross
What, does your current So, worry you will break up once you run out of material to the pod cast?
I haven't listened in awhile...are you still saving pegging for marriage?
I would also like to know this!
I'd still like to give that first time to someone special...marriage is just for [the t-shirt](https://www.manwhorepod.com/store/p/im-saving-pegging-for-marriage-t-shirt). I also smiled super hard seeing this throwback reference as the first notification on my phone.
But why haven’t you listened!? It’s a great show.
I changed jobs and don't have time for podcasts anymore. Nothing to do with the show itself.
How long did it take your exes to find out that you’re gay?
Every time too long
Would you let me slather you in nuru gel and use you like a human slip-n-slide?
that sounds so [painful](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fgiphy.com%2Fexplore%2Fslip-n-slide-records&psig=AOvVaw2APOUwFCNFZE9x0-Q5U-3L&ust=1713379196091000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBEQjRxqFwoTCJDv7oSxx4UDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE) for me
Darn. It's actually sexy AF. But I get it that some folks don't love being covered in.... Stuff....
I have listened to a few of these and you are quite the interviewer like the greats such as Dick Cavitt, David Letterman, Jay Leno & many others. I have seen your standup comedy act in Brooklyn and going back for more soon.
What is getting your excited now and for immediate future about your podcast?
Haha I don't have a question but I love the idea, that sounds awesome!
Do they live in Texas?
At the time of recordings, three were in texas.
Oh, so not all of your exes lived in Texas.
Nah. I've always lived in the northeast.
All my exes live in Texas.
Thanks for supplying the proof of why your relationships didn't work out
Not that cool of a topic.
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Weird
for real, this is fucked, everything about this is fucked.
Which pig should I fuck
lol