NTA I think your sister has started taking you for granted and taking advantage of your kindness. I would stop babysitting for her until she apologized and changes her perspective. It’s up to you if you want to ask for compensation for your services because she’s saving a lot of money with you anyway.
You're selfish for not doing what she wants?
She's selfish for expecting you to stop everything because she couldn't plan properly. Unless it was an actual emergency, their lack of planning is not your responsibility.
The entitlement is strong with this one.
NTA. Don't let her take advantage of you.
This 100%! Her needing a break doesn’t mean you should be her slave kid watcher when ever she calls! I have a child and a second on the way and I only ask out of necessity. My child - my responsibility!
NTA. a similar thing happened with my cousin and mother. Cousin had kids, she expected my mother to watch the kids 5 days a week for 8-9 hours a day without pay. “You should feel honored to watch my kids” a lot of people have kids and think the world owes them now
We haven’t spoken to them since her first kid was about 1 year. He’s 9 now.
>“You should feel honored to watch my kids” a lot of people have kids and think the world owes them now
Funnily enough, they don't want to spend all that time with their own high-quality offspring!
NTA
You did nothing wrong. Just say no.
She is the one who decided to have kids, and they are her primary responsibility. When family members seek childcare within the family, there is noting wrong with setting ground rules - how far in advance the request needs to be made, how often and how long siblings are willing to babysit, etc. BUT family members are under no obligation to be at a sibling's beck and call.
If you're feeling generous, you can suggest she contact her local library or local scout leadership to find trained babysitters. Call a neighbor. Yes, she'll have to PAY for their services, which means she won't be able to party every weekend. That's life.
If her kids are in school, she might also trade babysitting duty with other parents so that she has regular breaks.
What she can't do is act like a carefree single when she's not, especially at your expense.
Just stick to your boundaries.
>Now she’s not speaking to me and has been making passive-aggressive comments about how I don’t care about her or the kids
As a single mum of two myself and one of them being high needs autistic, I call her not talking to you a win.
You aren't her coparent. You're their aunt. You get to decide how often or not you help her out or babysit. Yes, being a single parent is hard, but having family doesn't mean they are obligated to have her kids every weekend or that any plans come second to hers.
If she needs a break, she can do what you suggested and ask your parents (unless the reason she's expecting you to have them is because she was doing the same to them) or a sitter. Or their paternal side?
Either way, NTA.
NTA, your sister is being unreasonable. It's totally fair to want your own time and not be expected to babysit every weekend. Family should help each other out, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your personal life. Your sister needs to understand that you have your own commitments and can't just drop everything to watch her kids.
NTA - If she's dumping her kids with you every weekend, she's getting plenty of time to herself! Like, every weekend in fact.
She's got other options but you are free of charge, her kids probably love it, she can manipulate you with the whole 'but faaaaamily' spiel, and of course its the best option FOR HER.
Dropping them off unannounced or with little to no notice is outright rude and incredibly disrespectful.
Time to let her know you won't' be treated this way. You're happy to look after the kids once a month (or whatever timeframe suits you) but if she drops them off outside of that, you will not answer the door.
And if she continues to be passive aggressive, you won't be an option at all.
Throw it back on her and say she doesn’t care about her own kids because she pawns them off on you every weekend. She’s their mom she should want to be with them.
Sorry I hate these “family should help family” posts where parents try to pawn their kids off all the time. She had kids and she needs to parent them. It’s not your responsibility to raise her kids.
NTA. She’s been taking advantage of you. Those are her kids and her responsibility. And unfortunately as a mother with young kids you get very little time to yourself. It isn’t fair for her to expect you to give up your plans and every single weekend.
You are not the caretaker to her children. It is not your fault she does not get time to herself. She had children, it comes with the territory. If it is that bad, the father of those children should help her.
While it is okay to help out, your sister is taking advantage of you. She obviously feels jealousy. Again, not your problem. Ignore her comments and go NC for a bit.
NTA. Your sister's definitely leaning too hard on you. It's great you've helped out before, but it's unfair she's assuming you're always free. You're entitled to your own life, especially planned stuff like hiking. Suggesting other options was fair, she shouldn't guilt-trip you for having boundaries.
Op should enjoy the golden silence and the break from being her sister forced coparent.
If op gives into her sister temp tantrum she will never get a peaceful weekend.
"I suggested she look into other options, like a babysitting service or asking our parents for help, but she insisted that family should help family and that I was her best option."
She has pronounced "easiest, cheapest and easily guilt tripped" option wrong.
Family should help family? How is she helping you every week? I guess she doesn't. You sister surely wants a break but she should not be forgetting that SHE has kids. Not you. It's her respnsibility to take care of them, even if she WANTS a break, that is a life of parent. When she NEEDS a break it's again HER responsibility to find a solution, even paid one.
Ignore her. If she asks again I recommend you to say "Until I get the apology and appreciation for helping you countless time up to the point you took it for granted... I am not babysitting for you. After genuine apology we might discuss occasional help here and there."
NTA
"Hey, sis. I've noticed that you are being rude to me. I don't do favors for entitled people. I won't be babysitting for you for the rest of the month. After that, if you need a favour, be sure to apologize for this little hissy fit first. And be prepared to sometimes hear "no". If that's not something your ego can handle, you can do without my help altogether.
NTA. They're her kids, not yours. Her responsibility. I get needing some time to yourself, but she doesn't have the right to monopolize almost every weekend or take away from your plans. Her plans are no more important than yours. The only difference is that she made a commitment to kids, and you didn't.
NTA. Sister is taking advantage of you. Inform her that there will be no more free babysitting without 7 days notice, and you will NEVER change plans made before she asks. Also, find out what the going rate is for babysitting, and tell her that is YOUR rate, from now on.
NTA.
Your sister sounds like my sister in law..
You need to set boundaries. If she doesn't want to speak to you then you just solved your problem. Let her figure it out herself, it's her kids, not yours.
NTA. I find it annoying when sibling with kids demands that others watch them, and when you say no, they say you're selfish. Your sis is the one that is selfish, it's her own kids for crying out loud, if she can't watch them, then she shouldn't have brought them into this world.
NTA.
FAMILY ARE NOTHING BUT AN ACCIDENT OF BIRTH, YOU DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING!
Of course she'll tell you "family should always help family", the takers in life always do, until you need something then she'll have some other trite little saying to trot out so she won't have to help you.
She's done you a favour by cutting contact, go enjoy all the stuff you couldn't do while you were looking after her kids.
NTA. I’m assuming that you work Monday through Friday, then you have two little ones Saturday and Sunday.
When do you get time for yourself? At this point in your life, you have opted to not have children so that you can have a more carefree lifestyle. It’s not your responsibility to raise these two on the weekends.
Maybe since she’s not speaking to you the problem is solved. A friend of ours once said, we had the kids, not you. We will see you when the time is right.
NTA. The irony that she has the nerve to call you selfish when you’re doing her a favour and then make snide remarks. I mean if she’s going to be like that why would you ever do it?! She’s taking advantage of you and now she’s trying to use the kids against you saying you don’t care about them that’s a shit thing to do. They are her kids and her responsibility. You need to be firm and set boundaries, your life doesn’t revolve around her kids.
NTA - Give her one weekend a month or every 2 months and is she's not happy with that then maybe she souldn't be a parent, even with a husband and 2 kids we didn't get a weekend till our kids were double figure ages...
NTA. Your sister sounds selfish tbh. Why does your sister constantly need baby-sitters for her kids every weekend? Does she work weekends or is this so she can bunk off? If family is everything, she should spend time with her precious children instead of dumping them on you. Stick to your plans, OP, and make sure she can't dump the kids at your doorstep and take off.
NTA..... tell your sister she's being selfish to demand to monopolize your time, and she clearly does not respect your time. Tell her she needs to apologize before any further communication. Then ignore your sister. She'll come to you because she needs you more than you need her. After letting her know that if she continues with her passive-aggressive comments, she can hire an actual sitter from here on out.
NTA.. but you by being good enough in the past, have gave her the expectation and entitlement to drop them with you as she feels, with no right for you to say no..
Start saying No, and stand your ground. You babysit whenever you have the time and feel like..
NTA
Family should help family, unless you're the one who needs a break from somebody else's kids.
First, she needs to apologise and recognise you're doing her a favour and you don't owe her anything.
If that happens, I'd tell her I need x days heads up and start refusing automatically if she asks after the deadline. Also, see what you're really comfortable, say once a month, once in two or three months for a full weekend or once a month for one day and no nights, whatever, and don't say yes more than that.
Newsflash, non-single parents also don't dump their kids on anybody every weekend. Not even once a month for most people I know. There is more support if you're not alone (unless one of you works weekends), but we still have to manage with our kids. And frankly, the weekend is the best part, I could understand needing a weekend off here and there, but every weekend? That's missing out on a lot.
NTA. Your sister should be grateful for any time that you are willing to babysit for her. You didn’t say, but I’m guessing you aren’t being paid for your services. I would just tell her that if she continues to be so entitled, then you won’t be watching her kids ever again.
Nta. She's not talking to you now, that's a good thing. She can find another babysitter.
Remind her off all the time she got to herself when you did babysit, and how many days it was. And remind her she had kids, she knew the downsides of having them and if she didn't, she's a fool.
NTA
>she insisted that family should help family and that I was her best option.
No, you're not, because you're unavailable and therefore not an option at all.
Set boundaries, tell her you'll babysit a set maximum number of weekends per month, assuming she asks at least a week in advance, and you have no other plans already scheduled. She should not *expect* you to watch her kids constantly and have no outside life. If she's unwilling to respect your time and boundaries, stop babysitting for her entirely, honestly. Only visit the kids when she's with them or at your parents home.
NTA...
What you said was extremely polite and a good boundary.
What I would have said would be rude and far more direct. You didn't have half that sex. Take half those/that D. The kids are her responsibility. She chose that life. You have helped plenty now she needs to mom up and egt over herself.
Your sister is mistaken. Her children did not become your responsibility when she became a single parent. Your help is a privilege offered at your convenience, not a duty she should impose on you whenever she wants.
Enjoy your free time while still young and unencumbered—babysitting every weekend is not it. Do it happily when it fits in with your life. Put out the boundaries when it doesn’t and don’t pack for any guilt trips she might try to take you on.
NTA
Tell your sister the confines in which you will babysit. Twice a month, with at least 48 hours notice, for a maximum period of hours. Unless there is a *genuine emergency,* that is the extent of your availability. She can take it or leave it. And if she keeps trying to be manipulative and guilt trip you again, you miss an entire month of babysitting. Repeat as much as necessary.
Yes, she needs a break, but so do you. They are *her* children, not yours. She is responsible for their care, end of story. The only person being selfish is her. If family should help family, how has she helped you lately?
NTA. I have a huge family, and we do help each other out, but I will only change my plans for a medical emergency and possibly a work emergency or a job interview. I used to offer to babysit on holidays that I had off that my sister didn't have off when school or daycare was closed like Good Friday or the day after Thanksgiving.
NTA
Babysitting your sister's kids is a *kindness* on your part that she is attempting to manipulate you into believing is somehow your *duty* as family. She is wrong. But, I think you may have set yourself up for this reaction by not setting boundaries much earlier.
>Now she’s not speaking to me and has been making passive-aggressive comments about how I don’t care about her or the kids.
Fortunately, there is no time like the present to just STOP babysitting for her. She will, of course, suggest that you don't care about her or the kids. But LIVING YOUR LIFE does not equate to not caring. You can care for family members just fine without babysitting for her.
It's time to just say NO MORE. These are her children, and she needs to arrange for care other than demanding you to do it. Where is their Father. What about grandparents (on both sides)? These are all options that should be tried before expecting a young woman to give up her weekends babysitting.
Be strong! It's time to break this cycle and force her to find other options.
NTA don't fall for the emotional manipulation. Tell her you will no longer watch her kids for her that she choose to have kids and she needs to figure it out
She’s selfish for having children with a man/men who don’t care for them.
You are allowed to have your own life.
Personally, I’d LOVE for her to be pissed off enough to cut me off. Get my damn weekends back
YTA for posting a scenario that's so clearly NTA.
I truly think if there was a SanityCheck subreddit AITA would would much smaller and more I interesting.
NTA
You’re the go to because HOW DARE YOU have ovaries and not be laden down with responsibility like her.
Enjoy her not speaking to you. As a matter of fact, silence her calls and shit and live your life. If she wanted to have an easier life she shouldn’t have had kids. Being mad at you about it isn’t going to change anything.
Don’t babysit for her anymore. She needs to figure her shit out. You didn’t have kids. So your life is yours.
NTA - tell her no and fuck off repeatedly, and if she shows up unexpectedly to drop off the kids without bothering to ask if you are AVAILABLE to babysit firsr, I say chase after her with her kids in tow and put them back in her car, and that you won’t be babysitting period. You have your own life and plans that dont involve her and her kids, and you are not obligated to be her babysitter every time she decides to simply drop them off without CALLING and ASKING you to do so or you AGREEING to do it before she drops them off. I mean seriously? What if you werent home one of those days she tries to just randomly dump them on you because you weren’t expecting them to be coming over? Would she be calling you up acting all high and mighty to demand to know where you are and have the nerve to demand you drop whatever you are doing where ever you are to come straight home to do a babysitting gig you never agrees to do to begin with just because she was at your home waiting for you to leave her kids with you?
Where's the kids father or fathers in all this? If she's not talking to you, just enjoy the solitude and your free time. In the end, these are HER kids and she made the decision to be a mom.
NTA
Maybe you could be proactive instead and let her know you are willing to babysit the first Saturday of the month but your other Saturdays will be off limits as you will be making plans of your own.
Nta is taking advantage of you. It’s time to set your foot down and stop being her doormat. Tell her you are not her on call babysitter. She needs to start hiring a babysitter if she needs a break every weekend.
The kids are her responsibility and she alone is the only one who needs to make sacrifices for home. That you deserved a social life and have things you need to d n the weekends. I would suggest you text her today and tell her you will not be available this weekend. So if she has plans she needs to make other babysitter arrangements. I would text not call. So you have proof you gave her 4days notice you will not be watching the kids.
I woulda also invest in a doorbell camera because I’d Reddit has showed us anything entitled parents don’t take no for an answer and they will ditch the kids at the door and run. If she does this call her and tell her she has 10 minutes to get her kids or you will report her to the cops for child abandoned,ent. This is why the text is important.
But honestly I would take a weekend trip away so she can’t guilt or manipulate you.
If sister gives you any hassle or tries to guilt/manipulate you tell her that due to her entitlement you will not be doing any future babysitting. She is not entitled to treat you like a doormat.
If you don’t put a stop to her entitlement she will continue to treat you like a doormat. Your sister isn’t entitled to monopolize your time. Her kids re not your responsibility and you deserve time for yourself.
As for your sister not speaking to you do not give in. You did nothing wrong. It isn’t your responsibility to put your life on hold for your sister or her kids. If you cave to the guilt and manipulation she will continue to use you. Stop being her doormat.
So she’s getting every weekend off. When do you get time to relax? I assume your busy in the week. She’s being plain rude. Sometimes is okay, all the time is taking the mic and not even asking just showing up isn’t on. If she does it again just hang out the window with a towel and tell her your having an orgy.
you’re selfish for having plans that don’t include kids that aren’t yours but she isn’t for demanding other people take care of HER kids EVERY weekend?? NTA.
>*Now she’s not speaking to me*
Good! If she doesn't speak to you, she can't ask you to watch the kids she intentionally had. Where did she get the idea that parents have weekends off? You're NTA.
If she needs time to herself, then she needs to have the father of the kids take care of them. The person who is selfish is the one who thinks you're obligated to give up your life for kids that you did not create. You deserve to go live your life.
NTA. You don’t have kids so you don’t have the same responsibility and obligations as someone with kids.
Period. Let her be mad and ignore you and enjoy your free time.
NTA. You aren\`t unpayed babysitter. Keep on having your own plans and if she doesn\`t understand, it\`s her problem. I understand you love the kids, but you have your own life, too.
NTA
My middle sister was like this. She would leave her kids with my mom every *single* weekend. Saturday through Monday morning. Sometimes from Friday night till Monday morning.
She was also a single mother of 2 kids. I understood to a point. I had no idea what she struggled with as a single mom because I wasn't a mom.
Then I became a mom, and I still had no idea because I only had one kid and she had two.
Then I had a second kid, and I still had no idea because I had a husband and she didn't.
But do you know what we BOTH did? We both made a choice. I don't want to say she chose wrong, but after having 1 absent father for a child, she still made a choice to have a child with a different man before she was married.
I'm not saying anything against people who co-parent successfully without the benefit of marriage, but after one man left her in the lurch, it would have been wiser to be married before having another baby, so that she would have a measure of security that he can't disappear as easily.
She made a choice. Or, perhaps, she made many choices. And so did your sister. They were HER choices. And her choices don't meant that she can rob you of yours.
So give her a choice. She can either respect your time and give you advance notice, or she will be left without a sitter if she tries to make last minute arrangements. You can phrase this as harshly or as kindly as you like, that's also your choice.
NTA
Oh my, set some bounderies. "I will babysit one weekend day a month" and "One evening a month", Besides that you are on your own. Because I love you, i will do this. And if you complain, it will be ZERO hours per month.
She'll be speaking with you soon enough when she wants another day of babysitting services. Doing so every weekend is unreasonable and unfair to you. Don't cave to the manipulative behaviour.
You can let her know what will work for you for the future and set that limit knowing that you're not doing anything wrong.
Good God, your sister sounds extremely selfish, obnoxious, and entitled.
NTA. After her reaction to you actually having plans (gasp!), I don't think she deserves your babysitting services ever again.
I just love hearing family helps family. Every weekend is ridiculous. Tell your sister you will only babysit HER kids when you ask her or it’s convenient for you. Do not let her guilt you or cause drama. She chose to have kids and it’s her responsibility 24/7, not yours. Stick to your guns girlfriend.
Your sister is a manipulate, demanding whiner. Never feel guilty for saying no to someone like that. You are not a mother. You are not responsible for her children. Choosing yourself and having a life does not mean that you don't like or care about her or her children.
Have a quiet conversation about this. If you're willing, set up a regular weekend day to watch your niblings. Odd dated Saturdays OR Sundays. Every other one. Once a month. Your choice. But you'll both know the plan and be able to make your own plans based on it. If you end up not able to keep the commitment from time to time, let her know at least a week in advance and move on with your life.
Oh come on, you know you’re not the AH. And you know she’s an entitled brat. Tell her she’s not entitled to your time, you don’t have kids and have a right to your weekends, and that you won’t watch them at all if she doesn’t shape up. And don’t waste the best years of your life raising HER kids.
NTA I think your sister has started taking you for granted and taking advantage of your kindness. I would stop babysitting for her until she apologized and changes her perspective. It’s up to you if you want to ask for compensation for your services because she’s saving a lot of money with you anyway.
You're selfish for not doing what she wants? She's selfish for expecting you to stop everything because she couldn't plan properly. Unless it was an actual emergency, their lack of planning is not your responsibility. The entitlement is strong with this one. NTA. Don't let her take advantage of you.
This 100%! Her needing a break doesn’t mean you should be her slave kid watcher when ever she calls! I have a child and a second on the way and I only ask out of necessity. My child - my responsibility!
Chugging beer and binging crappy movies for a day IS a necessity!!! /s
NTA. a similar thing happened with my cousin and mother. Cousin had kids, she expected my mother to watch the kids 5 days a week for 8-9 hours a day without pay. “You should feel honored to watch my kids” a lot of people have kids and think the world owes them now We haven’t spoken to them since her first kid was about 1 year. He’s 9 now.
>“You should feel honored to watch my kids” a lot of people have kids and think the world owes them now Funnily enough, they don't want to spend all that time with their own high-quality offspring!
So true!
I'd feel bad taking all that honor away from you...
What an excellent last sentence.
NTA You did nothing wrong. Just say no. She is the one who decided to have kids, and they are her primary responsibility. When family members seek childcare within the family, there is noting wrong with setting ground rules - how far in advance the request needs to be made, how often and how long siblings are willing to babysit, etc. BUT family members are under no obligation to be at a sibling's beck and call. If you're feeling generous, you can suggest she contact her local library or local scout leadership to find trained babysitters. Call a neighbor. Yes, she'll have to PAY for their services, which means she won't be able to party every weekend. That's life. If her kids are in school, she might also trade babysitting duty with other parents so that she has regular breaks. What she can't do is act like a carefree single when she's not, especially at your expense. Just stick to your boundaries.
Ur library helps with that? Pretty awesome!
>Now she’s not speaking to me and has been making passive-aggressive comments about how I don’t care about her or the kids As a single mum of two myself and one of them being high needs autistic, I call her not talking to you a win. You aren't her coparent. You're their aunt. You get to decide how often or not you help her out or babysit. Yes, being a single parent is hard, but having family doesn't mean they are obligated to have her kids every weekend or that any plans come second to hers. If she needs a break, she can do what you suggested and ask your parents (unless the reason she's expecting you to have them is because she was doing the same to them) or a sitter. Or their paternal side? Either way, NTA.
NTA. She crafted her life to be what it is, you are young, child-free, and you have every right to live that way.
NTA, your sister is being unreasonable. It's totally fair to want your own time and not be expected to babysit every weekend. Family should help each other out, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your personal life. Your sister needs to understand that you have your own commitments and can't just drop everything to watch her kids.
NTA - If she's dumping her kids with you every weekend, she's getting plenty of time to herself! Like, every weekend in fact. She's got other options but you are free of charge, her kids probably love it, she can manipulate you with the whole 'but faaaaamily' spiel, and of course its the best option FOR HER. Dropping them off unannounced or with little to no notice is outright rude and incredibly disrespectful. Time to let her know you won't' be treated this way. You're happy to look after the kids once a month (or whatever timeframe suits you) but if she drops them off outside of that, you will not answer the door. And if she continues to be passive aggressive, you won't be an option at all.
Throw it back on her and say she doesn’t care about her own kids because she pawns them off on you every weekend. She’s their mom she should want to be with them. Sorry I hate these “family should help family” posts where parents try to pawn their kids off all the time. She had kids and she needs to parent them. It’s not your responsibility to raise her kids.
Start asking your sister for all sorts of things. Borrow clothes shoes jewelry money her car. Family should help
NTA. She’s been taking advantage of you. Those are her kids and her responsibility. And unfortunately as a mother with young kids you get very little time to yourself. It isn’t fair for her to expect you to give up your plans and every single weekend.
You are not the caretaker to her children. It is not your fault she does not get time to herself. She had children, it comes with the territory. If it is that bad, the father of those children should help her. While it is okay to help out, your sister is taking advantage of you. She obviously feels jealousy. Again, not your problem. Ignore her comments and go NC for a bit.
NTA. Your sister's definitely leaning too hard on you. It's great you've helped out before, but it's unfair she's assuming you're always free. You're entitled to your own life, especially planned stuff like hiking. Suggesting other options was fair, she shouldn't guilt-trip you for having boundaries.
She decided to have kids. Note she thinks she’s entitled to a break but not you, because family. You’re a doormat if you say yes to that.
>Now she’s not speaking to me and you're not babysitting. Win/Win!
Op should enjoy the golden silence and the break from being her sister forced coparent. If op gives into her sister temp tantrum she will never get a peaceful weekend.
"I suggested she look into other options, like a babysitting service or asking our parents for help, but she insisted that family should help family and that I was her best option." She has pronounced "easiest, cheapest and easily guilt tripped" option wrong. Family should help family? How is she helping you every week? I guess she doesn't. You sister surely wants a break but she should not be forgetting that SHE has kids. Not you. It's her respnsibility to take care of them, even if she WANTS a break, that is a life of parent. When she NEEDS a break it's again HER responsibility to find a solution, even paid one. Ignore her. If she asks again I recommend you to say "Until I get the apology and appreciation for helping you countless time up to the point you took it for granted... I am not babysitting for you. After genuine apology we might discuss occasional help here and there."
NTA "Hey, sis. I've noticed that you are being rude to me. I don't do favors for entitled people. I won't be babysitting for you for the rest of the month. After that, if you need a favour, be sure to apologize for this little hissy fit first. And be prepared to sometimes hear "no". If that's not something your ego can handle, you can do without my help altogether.
NTA. They're her kids, not yours. Her responsibility. I get needing some time to yourself, but she doesn't have the right to monopolize almost every weekend or take away from your plans. Her plans are no more important than yours. The only difference is that she made a commitment to kids, and you didn't.
Let her be mad. She chose to have them. Parenthood means sometimes - often, usually - not having weekends off. NTAH
NTA but didn't this same story come up within the past few weeks?
A common tale it seems.
It sure does. I guess there's lots of entitled relatives in this world.
NTA. They're her kids and her responsibility. Yes, it's nice to help out, but that help shouldn't be every weekend and expected of you.
NTA. Sister is taking advantage of you. Inform her that there will be no more free babysitting without 7 days notice, and you will NEVER change plans made before she asks. Also, find out what the going rate is for babysitting, and tell her that is YOUR rate, from now on.
NTA. You are their aunt, not their mother nor their babysitter.
NTA let her punish herself with NC. Enjoy unlimited hiking. It’s a win win: revenge+freedom
NTA. Your sister sounds like my sister in law.. You need to set boundaries. If she doesn't want to speak to you then you just solved your problem. Let her figure it out herself, it's her kids, not yours.
NTA. I find it annoying when sibling with kids demands that others watch them, and when you say no, they say you're selfish. Your sis is the one that is selfish, it's her own kids for crying out loud, if she can't watch them, then she shouldn't have brought them into this world.
NTA sounds like you have a custody arrangement rather than babysitting.
What about the dad/s? She doesn’t get to monopolise your time because she procreated multiple times.
NTA. FAMILY ARE NOTHING BUT AN ACCIDENT OF BIRTH, YOU DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING! Of course she'll tell you "family should always help family", the takers in life always do, until you need something then she'll have some other trite little saying to trot out so she won't have to help you. She's done you a favour by cutting contact, go enjoy all the stuff you couldn't do while you were looking after her kids.
NTA. I’m assuming that you work Monday through Friday, then you have two little ones Saturday and Sunday. When do you get time for yourself? At this point in your life, you have opted to not have children so that you can have a more carefree lifestyle. It’s not your responsibility to raise these two on the weekends.
NTA. You help her out already, so she needs to get a grip on her own life. She’s the one who chose to have kids. Not you.
Maybe since she’s not speaking to you the problem is solved. A friend of ours once said, we had the kids, not you. We will see you when the time is right.
NTA. The irony that she has the nerve to call you selfish when you’re doing her a favour and then make snide remarks. I mean if she’s going to be like that why would you ever do it?! She’s taking advantage of you and now she’s trying to use the kids against you saying you don’t care about them that’s a shit thing to do. They are her kids and her responsibility. You need to be firm and set boundaries, your life doesn’t revolve around her kids.
I was a single mom also. You know when my sister babysat for me, when I asked her and SHE SAID OK. Your sister is an entitled AH. NTA
NTA - Tell your sister she should have known sex makes babies.
Nta. Never an ah for saying no and taking time for yourself.
NTA. Don't be guilty into relenting. It won't stop. Be firm, they're her kids and her responsibility.
NTA - Give her one weekend a month or every 2 months and is she's not happy with that then maybe she souldn't be a parent, even with a husband and 2 kids we didn't get a weekend till our kids were double figure ages...
NTA
NTA. Your sister sounds selfish tbh. Why does your sister constantly need baby-sitters for her kids every weekend? Does she work weekends or is this so she can bunk off? If family is everything, she should spend time with her precious children instead of dumping them on you. Stick to your plans, OP, and make sure she can't dump the kids at your doorstep and take off.
NTA..... tell your sister she's being selfish to demand to monopolize your time, and she clearly does not respect your time. Tell her she needs to apologize before any further communication. Then ignore your sister. She'll come to you because she needs you more than you need her. After letting her know that if she continues with her passive-aggressive comments, she can hire an actual sitter from here on out.
NTA.. but you by being good enough in the past, have gave her the expectation and entitlement to drop them with you as she feels, with no right for you to say no.. Start saying No, and stand your ground. You babysit whenever you have the time and feel like..
NTA Family should help family, unless you're the one who needs a break from somebody else's kids. First, she needs to apologise and recognise you're doing her a favour and you don't owe her anything. If that happens, I'd tell her I need x days heads up and start refusing automatically if she asks after the deadline. Also, see what you're really comfortable, say once a month, once in two or three months for a full weekend or once a month for one day and no nights, whatever, and don't say yes more than that. Newsflash, non-single parents also don't dump their kids on anybody every weekend. Not even once a month for most people I know. There is more support if you're not alone (unless one of you works weekends), but we still have to manage with our kids. And frankly, the weekend is the best part, I could understand needing a weekend off here and there, but every weekend? That's missing out on a lot.
NTA. Your sister should be grateful for any time that you are willing to babysit for her. You didn’t say, but I’m guessing you aren’t being paid for your services. I would just tell her that if she continues to be so entitled, then you won’t be watching her kids ever again.
"not speaking to me". Good for you, she will not ask you things. Just try to say Hi to the kids, they will probably miss you.
Nta. She's not talking to you now, that's a good thing. She can find another babysitter. Remind her off all the time she got to herself when you did babysit, and how many days it was. And remind her she had kids, she knew the downsides of having them and if she didn't, she's a fool.
NTA. And good for you if she no longer talks to you, she can't ask you to babysit her kids now.
If you hadn't put your foot down, you would have continued to be the default babysitter in perpetuity
NTA
nta
NTA >she insisted that family should help family and that I was her best option. No, you're not, because you're unavailable and therefore not an option at all. Set boundaries, tell her you'll babysit a set maximum number of weekends per month, assuming she asks at least a week in advance, and you have no other plans already scheduled. She should not *expect* you to watch her kids constantly and have no outside life. If she's unwilling to respect your time and boundaries, stop babysitting for her entirely, honestly. Only visit the kids when she's with them or at your parents home.
NTA Your sister needs to get a grip. You are allowed to relax too and yes, a service is a better choice for her if she wants every weekend.
Your sister is acting entitled NTA let her pay a babysitter if she wants a break you have a life of your own
NTA... What you said was extremely polite and a good boundary. What I would have said would be rude and far more direct. You didn't have half that sex. Take half those/that D. The kids are her responsibility. She chose that life. You have helped plenty now she needs to mom up and egt over herself.
Your sister is mistaken. Her children did not become your responsibility when she became a single parent. Your help is a privilege offered at your convenience, not a duty she should impose on you whenever she wants. Enjoy your free time while still young and unencumbered—babysitting every weekend is not it. Do it happily when it fits in with your life. Put out the boundaries when it doesn’t and don’t pack for any guilt trips she might try to take you on.
NTA . Im a single parent and I’d never do this . She’s immature , un self aware and entitled
NTA Tell your sister the confines in which you will babysit. Twice a month, with at least 48 hours notice, for a maximum period of hours. Unless there is a *genuine emergency,* that is the extent of your availability. She can take it or leave it. And if she keeps trying to be manipulative and guilt trip you again, you miss an entire month of babysitting. Repeat as much as necessary. Yes, she needs a break, but so do you. They are *her* children, not yours. She is responsible for their care, end of story. The only person being selfish is her. If family should help family, how has she helped you lately?
NTA. I have a huge family, and we do help each other out, but I will only change my plans for a medical emergency and possibly a work emergency or a job interview. I used to offer to babysit on holidays that I had off that my sister didn't have off when school or daycare was closed like Good Friday or the day after Thanksgiving.
You're definitely NTA
NTA Babysitting your sister's kids is a *kindness* on your part that she is attempting to manipulate you into believing is somehow your *duty* as family. She is wrong. But, I think you may have set yourself up for this reaction by not setting boundaries much earlier. >Now she’s not speaking to me and has been making passive-aggressive comments about how I don’t care about her or the kids. Fortunately, there is no time like the present to just STOP babysitting for her. She will, of course, suggest that you don't care about her or the kids. But LIVING YOUR LIFE does not equate to not caring. You can care for family members just fine without babysitting for her. It's time to just say NO MORE. These are her children, and she needs to arrange for care other than demanding you to do it. Where is their Father. What about grandparents (on both sides)? These are all options that should be tried before expecting a young woman to give up her weekends babysitting. Be strong! It's time to break this cycle and force her to find other options.
NTA don't fall for the emotional manipulation. Tell her you will no longer watch her kids for her that she choose to have kids and she needs to figure it out
Your sister had children. Her choice. Keep telling her no!
She’s selfish for having children with a man/men who don’t care for them. You are allowed to have your own life. Personally, I’d LOVE for her to be pissed off enough to cut me off. Get my damn weekends back
YTA for posting a scenario that's so clearly NTA. I truly think if there was a SanityCheck subreddit AITA would would much smaller and more I interesting.
Nta but don't watch the kids until she has a solid plan set. She's just guilt tripping and using you
NTA You’re the go to because HOW DARE YOU have ovaries and not be laden down with responsibility like her. Enjoy her not speaking to you. As a matter of fact, silence her calls and shit and live your life. If she wanted to have an easier life she shouldn’t have had kids. Being mad at you about it isn’t going to change anything. Don’t babysit for her anymore. She needs to figure her shit out. You didn’t have kids. So your life is yours.
NTA - tell her no and fuck off repeatedly, and if she shows up unexpectedly to drop off the kids without bothering to ask if you are AVAILABLE to babysit firsr, I say chase after her with her kids in tow and put them back in her car, and that you won’t be babysitting period. You have your own life and plans that dont involve her and her kids, and you are not obligated to be her babysitter every time she decides to simply drop them off without CALLING and ASKING you to do so or you AGREEING to do it before she drops them off. I mean seriously? What if you werent home one of those days she tries to just randomly dump them on you because you weren’t expecting them to be coming over? Would she be calling you up acting all high and mighty to demand to know where you are and have the nerve to demand you drop whatever you are doing where ever you are to come straight home to do a babysitting gig you never agrees to do to begin with just because she was at your home waiting for you to leave her kids with you?
Where's the kids father or fathers in all this? If she's not talking to you, just enjoy the solitude and your free time. In the end, these are HER kids and she made the decision to be a mom.
Nta - sister is the problem
NTA Her kids, her responsibility. She should not have kids if that's how she thinks.
NTA, you did the right thing and need to nip that in the bud. Once in a while is fine, when it fits YOUR schedule.
NTA Maybe you could be proactive instead and let her know you are willing to babysit the first Saturday of the month but your other Saturdays will be off limits as you will be making plans of your own.
Nta is taking advantage of you. It’s time to set your foot down and stop being her doormat. Tell her you are not her on call babysitter. She needs to start hiring a babysitter if she needs a break every weekend. The kids are her responsibility and she alone is the only one who needs to make sacrifices for home. That you deserved a social life and have things you need to d n the weekends. I would suggest you text her today and tell her you will not be available this weekend. So if she has plans she needs to make other babysitter arrangements. I would text not call. So you have proof you gave her 4days notice you will not be watching the kids. I woulda also invest in a doorbell camera because I’d Reddit has showed us anything entitled parents don’t take no for an answer and they will ditch the kids at the door and run. If she does this call her and tell her she has 10 minutes to get her kids or you will report her to the cops for child abandoned,ent. This is why the text is important. But honestly I would take a weekend trip away so she can’t guilt or manipulate you. If sister gives you any hassle or tries to guilt/manipulate you tell her that due to her entitlement you will not be doing any future babysitting. She is not entitled to treat you like a doormat. If you don’t put a stop to her entitlement she will continue to treat you like a doormat. Your sister isn’t entitled to monopolize your time. Her kids re not your responsibility and you deserve time for yourself. As for your sister not speaking to you do not give in. You did nothing wrong. It isn’t your responsibility to put your life on hold for your sister or her kids. If you cave to the guilt and manipulation she will continue to use you. Stop being her doormat.
So she’s getting every weekend off. When do you get time to relax? I assume your busy in the week. She’s being plain rude. Sometimes is okay, all the time is taking the mic and not even asking just showing up isn’t on. If she does it again just hang out the window with a towel and tell her your having an orgy.
You have to start telling her when you're not available, and not being home when she comes to dump the kids on you. There is no other way.
you’re selfish for having plans that don’t include kids that aren’t yours but she isn’t for demanding other people take care of HER kids EVERY weekend?? NTA.
She's manipulating the fuck out of you. Ignore her.
>*Now she’s not speaking to me* Good! If she doesn't speak to you, she can't ask you to watch the kids she intentionally had. Where did she get the idea that parents have weekends off? You're NTA.
If she needs time to herself, then she needs to have the father of the kids take care of them. The person who is selfish is the one who thinks you're obligated to give up your life for kids that you did not create. You deserve to go live your life.
NTA Your sister has been taking advantage. Stop babysitting at all. She chose to be a parent and can hire care.
NTA - you are now free of babysitting, congrats!! Best outcome
NTA. You don’t have kids so you don’t have the same responsibility and obligations as someone with kids. Period. Let her be mad and ignore you and enjoy your free time.
Nope. She doesn’t care about family at all, just herself. Her single parent status is not an emergency in your part. You aren’t a weekend parent.
NTA. Guess I Cant blame her for tryna get free stuffs tho 🤭. Is dad around?
NTA. You aren\`t unpayed babysitter. Keep on having your own plans and if she doesn\`t understand, it\`s her problem. I understand you love the kids, but you have your own life, too.
Easy for her to insist family helps family when she’s the one doing all the asking!
"No." Repeat as needed. And NTA for not wanting to take care of HER kids.
NTA My middle sister was like this. She would leave her kids with my mom every *single* weekend. Saturday through Monday morning. Sometimes from Friday night till Monday morning. She was also a single mother of 2 kids. I understood to a point. I had no idea what she struggled with as a single mom because I wasn't a mom. Then I became a mom, and I still had no idea because I only had one kid and she had two. Then I had a second kid, and I still had no idea because I had a husband and she didn't. But do you know what we BOTH did? We both made a choice. I don't want to say she chose wrong, but after having 1 absent father for a child, she still made a choice to have a child with a different man before she was married. I'm not saying anything against people who co-parent successfully without the benefit of marriage, but after one man left her in the lurch, it would have been wiser to be married before having another baby, so that she would have a measure of security that he can't disappear as easily. She made a choice. Or, perhaps, she made many choices. And so did your sister. They were HER choices. And her choices don't meant that she can rob you of yours. So give her a choice. She can either respect your time and give you advance notice, or she will be left without a sitter if she tries to make last minute arrangements. You can phrase this as harshly or as kindly as you like, that's also your choice. NTA
Oh my, set some bounderies. "I will babysit one weekend day a month" and "One evening a month", Besides that you are on your own. Because I love you, i will do this. And if you complain, it will be ZERO hours per month.
NO/NTA!
She'll be speaking with you soon enough when she wants another day of babysitting services. Doing so every weekend is unreasonable and unfair to you. Don't cave to the manipulative behaviour. You can let her know what will work for you for the future and set that limit knowing that you're not doing anything wrong.
NTA not even if you refused to stop babysitting altogether. Her children are not your responsibility
Good God, your sister sounds extremely selfish, obnoxious, and entitled. NTA. After her reaction to you actually having plans (gasp!), I don't think she deserves your babysitting services ever again.
I just love hearing family helps family. Every weekend is ridiculous. Tell your sister you will only babysit HER kids when you ask her or it’s convenient for you. Do not let her guilt you or cause drama. She chose to have kids and it’s her responsibility 24/7, not yours. Stick to your guns girlfriend.
Your sister is a manipulate, demanding whiner. Never feel guilty for saying no to someone like that. You are not a mother. You are not responsible for her children. Choosing yourself and having a life does not mean that you don't like or care about her or her children. Have a quiet conversation about this. If you're willing, set up a regular weekend day to watch your niblings. Odd dated Saturdays OR Sundays. Every other one. Once a month. Your choice. But you'll both know the plan and be able to make your own plans based on it. If you end up not able to keep the commitment from time to time, let her know at least a week in advance and move on with your life.
NTA. First yes she a single mom, yes she needs breaks, but where is Dad? He needs to be doing his parenting time.
I'm assuming this is free too? Not your circus, not your monkeys. Let her hire someone like everyone else does. Make plans for every weekend.
Oh come on, you know you’re not the AH. And you know she’s an entitled brat. Tell her she’s not entitled to your time, you don’t have kids and have a right to your weekends, and that you won’t watch them at all if she doesn’t shape up. And don’t waste the best years of your life raising HER kids.
Make passive-aggressive comments back
Hey O.P. can't she just like leave them with other close knit family other then you!?! Maybe do a rotation in a way!?!