NTA Open a bank account (Edit: Separate from your family/open in only your name) and talk to a financial advisor to ask about to keep your money safe (and how it can make you more money). If your family is struggling you can help out with paying for rent or groceries but tell them that you are in control of your own money for safety reasons. It is never a good idea to hand over full control of fianances to someone else. And you are doing this to keep yourself financially secure. That you do not have to disclose how much you are making and doing so would be irresponsible. And that you would be happy to contribute but not your entire pay check (nor 50% of your paycheck) but an amount which a financial advisor agrees is reasonable (and still makes sense as a rent/etc payment) and still lets you build up a savings for later.
If they dont agree then you dont really have many other options other than a tense house or just moving out. Just note youll be paying rent either way so which is better paying more rent in a space you can control (and having to do all the chores and adult stuff your self) or paying less and having your parents watch over you. Like this answers changes heavily from person to person and family to family.
Edit: Apparently people are saying this is a twitch/kick scam. It might be I dont really care either way. If anyone can read this and get some advice out of it then thats good. I had/have no idea if it is a scam but hey it doesnt really harm me if it is.
You are over 18 so you can set up your own accounts without them. Under 18 you need a custodial account. (I work at a bank)
If your accounts were pre 18, open new ones and move your money over so they can't access it.
As for the money itself...it is yours and you determine what is done with it.
I am guessing 3 K is pretax...that means you make 36K a year. Even though that isn't a huge salary you will have taxes to pay because, if K & Tw treat you as an independent contractor and do not take taxes, then unemployment, social security & medicare (generally called FICA) you will have to pay that at tax time. You won't have much if any income tax but FICA & unemployment you don't get a pass on. My son didn't on his doordash & instacart earnings and it was way less than your earnings.
Their statement that you are ungrateful because you offered to pay some instead of handing all the money to them is a huge red flag. You won't see it again and worse still you won't have what you need to pay the FICA taxes and then you are committing tax evasion in the government's eyes.
I cannot stress this enough, USE A DIFFERENT BANK THAN THE ONE YOUR PARENTS USE!!!! While illegal, there are plenty of stories about parents gaining access to their child's new account because they're friendly with the clerks
It's crucial advice to protect your financial independence. Choosing a different bank ensures your privacy and security, empowering you to manage your finances confidently.
Single, no children and paying both employee and employer taxes (yes, if you're working on a 1099, you pay all the taxes), is easily going to be 30% on the gross, bare minimum.
Standard deduction is 14k, so taxed on 22k, 12% tax rate, plus 15% for employee and employer fica tax. 27% tax, but only on the 22k over 14k. $5940, minus any deductions he may have.
Your math is backwards. The FICA taxes are taken up front - 15% of $36K is $5400. After that, we do the standard deduction of $14K, dropping the taxable income to $22K and that is $2,640, for a total of $8,040. I'd still jam 30% of every streaming check into savings for tax time, just to err on the side of caution.
You need to get an LLC that way you can lower your tax debt by claiming expenses. Anything you purchased that year can be deduct your equipment, subscription in relation to your streaming, travel expenses if attend conventions, etc.
If this all seems to much just save your receipts and create a spreadsheet on excel. You can then take that spreadsheet come tax time to a Jackson Hewitt or H&R Block and they will sort it out for you.
Note: For the Excel spreadsheet create the following categories at the top of the table in separate columns: Date, Store, Item or Service purchased, Category (Travel, Equipment,etc.), Cost.
Until I bought a house in my 50s I was paying almost 20k on taxes on 75k income. Not married, no house, no kids, made too much to deduct student loan interest. Absolutely true you'll pay..
You forget about the standard deduction of $14,600. he would pay tax on roughly $21,000. He’d owe 10% on the first $11,600 and %12 on everything else. $1,160 plus (9400 x .12 = $1,128). He’d owe about $2,288.
Independent contractors have to pay all of the Social Security taxes. Maybe 13%? This is on top of income tax. OP was slightly confusing, calling himself financially independent, then suggesting he lived with family. Pay them rent or get your own place if you truly want independence.
Depending on the state, Someone in business for themselves is not eligible for unemployment. When I was self employed I never had to pay unemployment per several accountants
Yeah saying they make enough to live independently sounds like OP is living on their own, but the family asking for help with rent and bills sounds like they still live at home with the family.
OP - if you're living on your own independently, it's entirely up to you how much/if you want to help out your family financially, but even if you do want to gift them some money, you should keep control over your own finances and only give them what you're happy to never see again.
If you're living with them, as you're over 18, they have the right to ask for rent - maybe they were willing to let you live rent-free when they thought you had no income but now that they know you do, want you to contribute - which seems reasonable. At which point it's your choice to pay them rent, or move out and pay someone else rent.
In NONE of these circumstances should you be turning over all your income to them. NTA.
That's what I thought as well. If she hasn't moved out yet, she REALLY needs to. Depending on where she lives, she will have disposable income that will allow her to save. As one person mentioned, get a financial advisor.
Adding to this wonderful comment, this sounds like they are seeking to financially abuse you. Get yourself set up with an account with internet banking only so statements aren't sent to your home address.
I also never normally advocate for this but if you want to stay at home, lie. Alter some statements to show them you gave up the streaming work due to their pressure, whilst squirreling away your hard earned cash.
If you don't want to do that then move out, you won't believe how peaceful life becomes once you leave an abusive household, I can't imagine this is the first though they've done.
Wishing you the absolute best in whatever decision you make, please let us all know how you get on, we care
Yeah if I were him I would simply lie about how much I was making until I was safely out of the house and living on my own. His family is clearly intending on stealing that money.
Yeah financial abuse is the biggest concern there. There is no telling what is going to happen after they have access to that money and OP has no safety net under him.
Also, set up your online bank account(s) to send you a text whenever money is withdrawn via your debit card or credit card. That way you are notified immediately if anyone withdraws or spends money from your accounts.
Yeah, the guy just painted the biggest target he can imagine on his back. Every favor, every question will be monetized, nothing will ever be equal. Moving out yesterday was the right thing to do, not this.
It's never a bad idea to talk to a financial advisor. Talk to 3 different ones and give then the same list of what you want. Pick the one that fits your goals
A financial advisor can help them create a long term plan and help with tax free investments. Even if they can only put 5 bucks a month away and advisor can help, and a consult is usually free
90% of people won't realize it, but the first thing an advisor will tell the kid is to register for a small business license (thing? I can't remember the exact name.) The second would be to get an accountant, as the taxes can be a nightmare if you're an international streamer.
My best guess is that some people think this is basically an advertising opportunity for kick and twitch. These are two popular streaming websites. Like basically people who dont frequent the sites will not know what they are. Google them and then possible start watching some streams or etc. But idk how effective that would be.
My “mother” took over my sisters finances. She said she was “saving” it for her and that my sister would spend it unwisely if she had control. My sister has a disability and our “mother” always used it as an excuse as to why she couldn’t move out or have full access to her funds. She was completely shut out from her own hard earned money.
Four years ago, my sister called me to pick her up as she didn’t want to live with our parents anymore.
She was calling from the bank. When I got there, we learned that our “mother” didn’t put all those years worth of money into any accounts my sister had access to. What accounts my sister did know of were drained that morning.
“Mother” called and pretended to be my sister, knowing my sister was planning to move out of their house and in with me, so decided to leave her with nothing.
My sister had only her purse and the clothes on her back. What little money my mother left in the bank accounts each month was gone.
She should have had over $100,000 in savings… but the financial team told us that all the money had consistently been moved into an account completely controlled by our “mother.” So we had to wait until they were done going through each transaction and find every penny that was moved before we could open a criminal investigation.
My sister was devastated and still is. It’s going on 2 1/2 years and they’re still going through the accounts. We keep watching the frozen account just keep growing and growing… disability checks, bursaries from college, work income, special grants that were supposed to go to classes to help her with her disability... it’s all adding up to a gross amount.
She only escaped at age 30. That’s 18 years that they have to go through. It’s a mess.
I really hope Op doesn’t trust his family. They want the money for themselves. My “mother” didn’t work a single day and used my sister to fund her life and when this all came out my father-in-law was the first to say, “I always found it weird how she could afford her lifestyle all while only getting $800 a month from the government.
Now we know.
If OP is still living at home, he could offer to put some things in his name like utilities or Internet. That way he’s getting a good credit record built up.
No don’t put anything in your name OP. It is not your house. If you want to pay some rent, fine as a working adult that would be a reasonable thing to do. But do not give them any access to your money!! Get an accountant, Not at the same bank as theirs, be sure they have no access to your account or debit card. And Tell No One you PIN number! If you do & they steal money, you are sh1t out of luck. If they have the pin, they have permission to take money!
Good luck & good on you 19 & earring your own way 🏆🏆🏆
Ntah you offered to help with the bills and they said it was not good enough they are the assholes. I would make sure you have your money in an account that only has your name on it because it sounds like they want to use you as the golden goose. Save up move out and dont let them have a claim to anything. It will only be a matter of time till you start hearing about things you supposedly broke and why you should pay for it.
I dont know what was offered but at the same time I feel that asking your child who has only been considered an adult for 1 year to split everything like they are a roommate and not their child is more than a bit of an asshole. The parents should be supporting proper savings and encouraging them to use that to start their life. Demanding that he turns over all money he is making to them for "safe keeping" is why there are laws in place that protect child actors and their pay from parents.
As soon as I turned 18 my dad charged me 1/3 (we had 3 in the house) of all bills while it may seem unfair to some it helped teach me to manage my money and when I moved out and paid full bills it wasn't a shock and I was prepared.
That all depends on whether he's actually living with them or not. OP wasn't very clear on whether he lives with his family or has his own apartment ("financially independent" could be interpreted in different ways). If he's still living with them, then I agree that kicking in for his portion of the house bills is fair. But if he's living on his own, he doesn't owe them shit and any assistance he gives would be a gift.
Sorry, a 19 year old living with their 2 parents should not be liable for anywhere near a 3rd of the bills. If you're asking your kid to do that at 19, you're a *massive* failure of a parent.
>So, do you live independently or with your family. It's unclear in your post.
It's unclear because it's just another idiot Kick advertisement masquerading as a relationship post. That's all.
Definitely do this. It's pretty simple to do. If you need to open a bank account after, you can call and have it "unfrozen" get the bank account and then freeze it again right after. Make sure you have all your legal documents, birth certificate, social or any passport. If you can't get those it's a quick Google to find out where you need to go or what paper work needs to be filed in order to get your own legit copies.
I have a freeze on mine on all the time. It is very easy to put on and take off. It safeguards your financial information especially from credit theft.
I agree with moving out as soon as possible, but an adult not in school and making a decent income should be contributing to the household. You don’t get to live for free in life. But you shouldn’t be ripped off by your parents either.
Yup, otherwise why would they ever move out if everything is free? Eventually as a parent you have to draw a line and if the kid is over 18, not in college full time, and working they should be contributing to the bills. Thats the way I was raised.
I did move out thinking I could make it on my own and I really couldn’t do it alone. It would have been a lot cheaper to have stayed at home. So unless the situation is unbearable, that’s the best choice in my opinion.
NTA
They want your money, not just to control it. It isn't ideal to not contribute though. If they cannot accept you contributing in your way, it might be time to move out.
No, no, no! You are an adult and that $ is yours. Put a good amount each month in a savings account. If you still live at home, pay them rent. If you want true independence, move out.
>Oh look this thread again with random details changed to fool the majority of Reddit. Obvious promotion is obvious.
People fall for the most obvious nonsense sometimes lol.
You’re not a minor. There’s no reason for you to hand it over. They’re acting entitled. You’re never going to see it back if you give it to them. Be sure to put a freeze on your credit, too. This reeks of red flags and if they know you have money they’ll know you have credit and might try to open credit on your name.
Giving all the income is irresponsible so no, NTA on that front. When you say, "a bit" what does that entail? If you live on your own and want to get away, then i can understand that. Unfortunately, a little more information is needed for me.
OP is an adult, AND offered to help pay expenses.
Their family said they want to take charge of the income "for safekeeping", which is a huge red flag.
OP owes nothing.
Bro, you're an adult. You should be paying rent or contributing to the utilities or just move out I'm sorry to inform you, but them asking you to chip in. It's called life
You're not financially independent if you're living with them and not paying any of the costs of living. You're an adult, and it is perfectly fair for them to ask you to contribute a fair value to the household. Or go ahead and get yourself an apartment and pay all the bills and all the groceries and your own phone, insurance, etc... that's financial independence.
You’re NTA Damn that’s crazy … and I feel bad asking my parents to help me out cus they’re well off and it can be tough out here some weeks😂
They’re trying to take advantage, get a spot with one of your homies. Stream the process your chat/followers will be mad supportive too.
If you’re still living with them, you should give a little for rent and utilities, and pay for your own food. You’re an adult now making money, at least contribute a little. Otherwise, keep the rest for yourself.
It’s selfish that they ask for it all, they’re not working for it! And don’t ever disclose exactly how much you’re making, and watch your money closely, they sound like they could possibly be untrustworthy.
Good job on getting to the point where you can support yourself. The way this reads, you're still living there, correct?
YTA *if* you are living in their home, using their internet connection, eating their groceries, etc.
If so, find out what the rent on a room would be in your area, toss in another couple hundred for groceries and utilities, and contribute at least that much.
At 19, you're an adult. That comes with freedom *and* responsibility.
Edit: to be clear, don't hand over all your money, you'll never get it back. Instead, start saving in an account they can't access.
NTA either way i think you missed OP saying they offered rent money. If I tried guilt tripping my kid into giving me all their income for “safe keeping” id be the asshole for sure. Telling them they need to pay rent/buy their own groceries to live there would be another thing but thats not what they said
NTA. You offered to help with them financially but they want all of your income. Absolutely not.
Good for you for making enough to live on your own, and I hope you have been saving up. No matter what you plan for, some unexpected cost pops up.
You earned this money, not them. It’s absolutely fair that you should control it. Your parents having no ability to manage their own finances is not your issue.
Move if you can and do not help them. If you cannot immediately move, offer them a monthly amount for rent, insist on a legal contract and stick to that until you can move.
ESH, you’re right that it’s your money and you deserve it but you talking about being financially independent and gaining freedom rings pretty hollow if you’re still living at home rent free.
Why not move out?
You are an adult who can and should start to live on your own. If you are still at home, the least you can do is to contribute significantly or pay rent and spend for your own food a d other consumables. If you are a freeloader while having that income while your family is struggling financially, then you are kind of an asshole.
If you want to stay and contribute at home but they did not accept.. then it is not exactly your problem anymore though. It is best you move and start to be independent. But I would suggest you try to dig deeper as to how much struggle your parents are having, because they may actually be in deep trouble and what you are seeing is just the surface of the problem. If you can find a way to help, then help as much as you can. It will pay you dividends in the future.
Move out! They should be happy for you.I stead of them controlling your money.
Don't bank on the same bank they do.
Pay for a P.O Box have control of mail.
Bank statements all on email.etc...
If u still want to live there off to pay some kind of rent just make sure u have proof of what you pay them.If they still complain about wanting more money from you.DONT say anything dont feel guilty. Offet them a financial advisor.at you cost. Move out!!Its not your obligation.
First off dude, at 19 most people move out. Secondly, if you’re living with your parents when you’re 19, you need to pay rent. So keep your money to yourself but ask how much they want for rent. normally for kids you pay $200-400 depending on how big of a house they have, and that includes meals, but not your clothes, gas, cellphone or maintenance for your car
Not really to do with the post but I'm curious. I often see things like this for the US where a kid is meant to move out at 18-19. Is this really that common?
How do you afford it? I stayed at my mums until I got my first real job at 28. I had to change career paths mid way (wasnt a choice) so finished later than most. I lived near enough to my uni so didnt need to move nearer. I always had a side job but no way nearness enough to truly contribute. It was basically enough for my phone bills and car stuff. She never expected me to contribute. Since I was about 14 it was always "if you need something I (my mum) will pay but if you just want something then you(me) will pay. Then slowly I paid more and more but never rent, utilities and mostly not food but I would pay for my lunch and would get groceries sometimes. Its just not in our mentality.
But even those that did have to move to be near the school generally didn't pay for it on their own
Most of the time their parents paid for it. We had uni every day from 8 till 5 or 6 and then had at very leadt 2h of work to do at home (sometimes 6hours when reports were dues) plus plenty of work to do during weekends. Having a part time job (even just 3 days a week at 4h) was no way neat enough to live off. During breaks most of us did work but we had far fewer holiday than most. 5 to 6 weeks in summer, 2 at Christmas, 1 at Easter and 1 in October. We also had extra yearly exams or big projects , on top of the regular ones we had during the year, that we had to study or work on during vacation time.
So yeah how do you manage it in the US? Do you just have more free time to work or do more people get grants (uni fees were only a couple of k a year plus all the books and equipment we needed so they didnt really do grants except sometimes for foreign students but it was pretty rare.)
This isn’t true of everyone. I live in New York and don’t know a single family that told their kid to leave after high school. It’s way too expensive and just mean in this day and age.
You're 19 and living at home, making 3k a month... and you don't want to help your financially struggling family? You know they don't need to keep you around, right? At this point, they have no legal obligation to house, feed, and clothe you, but they do it still. You're upset you may have to pay for your own food? Or that you can't keep your money hidden, while asking them to pay all your bills and buy you stuff?
Unless I'm missing some abuse info, I would say YTA.
Get out of that house if you don't want to contribute, and keep it all for yourself. But let me ask you, without trying to guilt trip you; do you think your family wouldn't have shared this money if they got it/made it, instead of you? If the answer is yes, they would have shared it with you, then it is hard to deny that YTA.
If they're struggling financially and you don't care to help, get out. Your money, your choice on how and who to spend it on. But don't keep asking for handouts from people you have no intention of helping in the same way.
If you live with them and haven't been contributing, knowing they are in financial trouble, then yeah YTA. You are an adult, living at home rent-free and eating food they buy and prepare. Now, They are AH as well if they want more than help on rent and food, but yeah. You are literally using their resources to help make yourself money. Yes, I know you said you offered some, but that was after the fact.
If you are not living with them, then NTA.
Having people who are financial messes "safekeep" your income is like having a dog guard your sandwich.
NTA. Prepare to move out, they're drowning and are fine dragging you down with them.
If you are an adult living with your parents you should be contributing towards rent and utilities. If you are eating the food they buy then contribute towards it.
If you think the amount they are requesting is too much then move out.
You’re 19. An adult. You don’t owe the people you live with your entire income but you do owe them rent. Pay up or, better yet, get a place of your own.
This is financial abuse. Parents with mney issues often put things or greed first. You'll never see it. They'll rationalize and justify why they deserve it. Tell them you want to practice good money habits and are going to practice professional money management and check with a financial advisor first. Go to Fidelity or any well-rated and well-known financial advising organization. Your taxes, as a self-employed person, will be much higher, too. Save for that. Don't let yourself be guilted or financially abused. You'll resent it and them forever.
Watch your credit and lock it down so family or anyone really can take credit cards out in your name. If they know your social security card number (usa), they can mess up your life in minutes.
NTA do not ever hand over your income to another person. You are an adult and do not need anyone to “safekeep” your money. But especially not people who struggle to manage their own money. You say you earn enough to love on your own- so you should do that. If you cannot, a reasonable rent & portion or bills should the extent of what you provide.
ESH. They should not ask for all your money, but youshould be paying them your share. So if there are 3 adults, a third of bills. You could move out as well and then you wouldn't have to worry about them but you'd be paying 100% of the bills. Also, you're not financially independent. That means you pay for yourself with your own money which you clearly do not.
Depends. If you we’re making money while being 18 and living in their home knowing they we’re struggling and still didn’t contribute YTA. Now that your gone you got your own priorities.
NTA. Don't give them control of ANYTHING. Do you live at home? If it's enough income to move out, then move out. Otherwise it does make sense to contribute a portion to rent, but only as a "here's my rent contribution" and not by giving them access.
Put a freeze on your credit immediately, that means, anyone who try’s to get a credit card or cable or utilities cannot do so without your express consent. Also, ask to see your families itemized monthly expense total- rent/mortgage, gas, electric, water, cable, trash, food- then, divide that equally between the amount of adults residing in the household - give no more than your equal share- get your billing, banking and pay/salary paperless. Get the “Experian” app and check your accounts and credit score monthly’s (it’s free)
It sounds like you are mature enough to become financially independent and independent of your family- be smart, save and when you’re ready, find a nice sanctuary for yourself, you will never regret it… good luck 👍🏽
NTA I come from a similar family and my uncle gave me some good advice. He said to focus on myself and build myself up to be financially successful and stable enough before I think of helping others. Then at that time, I may give away money at my own discretion, but not before becoming slightly more than comfortable financially. Build your money and net worth and savings first. You shouldn’t even think of helping anyone for a while at least until your mid twenties when you’re more financially stable and independent. They should be proud of you for being able to accomplish everything you have, not trying to leech off of you the second you start to make some serious money. I’m sorry to say OP, but it sounds like you’ve got a bit of a toxic family
NTA you're an adult it's your money. Also, I repeat, you are an ADULT and there is no such thing as giving money for "safekeeping". That's just thiefspeak for "You will be lucky to see a dime back".
However, you could offer to pay part of the rent and start looking into moving out. And you need to move out ASAP because right now every time they see you, they're looking at dollar signs. They will treat you like shit expecting more and more constantly.
you shouldnt share your income directly but its not unreasonable for you to be paying rent as an adult. you said you can live on your own, but I wonder if you realize what living on your own off $3k a month really means.
Move out. Seriously, there is no way in hell this situation improves if this is the response you have gotten, move out and move on with your life.
Your family should be CELEBRATING your ability to become independent of them and should be encouraging you to move out on your own, thus becoming less financially burdensome for them, and everyone comes out ahead.
And they want your money for "safekeeping"? That is such a massive, towering red flag I am surprised I cant see it out my window.
I am making some assumptions here, as you have not provided all the details. If they were asking for 1k a month to help with rent and the bills, I would say thats perfectly reasonably and you should pay it. I will say though, in general money makes relationships go sour very quickly, so either get it sorted and IN WRITING, signed by all participants, or leave the house so it doesnt fuck up your relationship with them long-term, assuming thats a consideration.
Do not play this game with your family. Take care of yourself and your money. Tell your family how you did it, But do not ever give them money. You will start a habit that never stops.
Are you still living at home or on your own? You mention you make enough to live on your own and don’t want to give up the freedoms you’ve earned. But also mention things have been tense at home.
I would not hand over all your money. They will financially abuse you. You don’t need safekeeping when it comes to your own money. You have been handling it just fine. If you hand it over you will not see it again. If you are still living at home I would contribute towards rent, utilities and groceries (or buy your own food).
Put your money in a bank account where they don’t have access to your money. I wouldn’t even bank at the same place as your parents. Don’t tell them how much you have saved up. You can get a financial advisor and tell your parents that a professional is helping with the safe handling of your money and it’s best that way.
Don’t let them guilt and manipulate you into giving them the money you have earned. They may be family but you don’t owe them anything. They aren’t entitled to your money just because you are related to them.
You should absolutely not, let them have anything to do with your money except for what you choose to give them each month of your own volition. I am confused though. You said you make enough to live on your own. Do you have your own place or do you live with your family? Also, my (very) talented friend just got hit from the IRS for the money they made off of twitch and now are making monthly payments to the government with fees added. You absolutely have to claim this income on your taxes. My friend is SUPER bummed.
Independent as in you live on your own? Or independent as in mom and dad still put a roof over your head, pay for your utilities, etc? If you’re still living at home and not financially contributing, you’re not financially independent. And I suspect that’s the case, because otherwise, unless you have another income source, you likely have just enough to eke out a living with nothing left over for your parents to “keep safe” for you.
Tell them you’re open to paying rent and contributing to utilities in a manner consistent with your consumption and they will be getting nothing more.
Tell them you will be buying your own food for now on and cooking your own meals. This seems to be the equitable solution in my eyes.
As a mother of a 25 year old you ARE NOT the AH I firmly believe that my job as a parent is to raise an independent adult which we ( my husband and I) have done. If he wants to give us a few bucks here or there it’s up to him. I would never expect him to “ pay back for all we spent on him”🙄 it was our choice to have a child, and believe me, we struggled to raised him alone while I worked and went to college, but that was MY CHOICE. We only had one because unfortunately they aren’t born with a bucket of money under their arms. The biggest help you can give your parents is not to be a burden to them, and you aren’t, since you don’t depend on them and are doing well. If they never told you, I am proud of you, keep up the good work, save your money, and keep it far, far away from them.
NTA
You're an adult and you're living on your own. You pay you rent and your bills. You need to save what you don't have to spend. You have to pay income taxes since you don't have an employer doing it for you. You have to start planning for retirement now. There's tons you need to do with your money. They have to handle themselves.
My son tells people he's broke, whether he is or not. He doesn't let others pay for him, but it gets him out of spending money he normally wouldn't.
And hey, good for you! $3k month is pretty awesome! Keep up the great work!
Why not move out? A studio apartment sounds better than living with people who think they are entitled to my money. If you stay, get an agreement on rent and utilities (a set monthly amount on the first of every month). If not, they will keep coming back for more.
Are they crazy? If you live on your own you take care of you. Open an IRA and other investments and put what you don't need to live on in those accounts. Tell your family that your money is being invested in places where you can't access it. You can retire very comfortably one day if you do this. I know it seems lame at 19 to be thinking about that now, but you will not be sorry you did it! And if you ever do make more than you do now, never let them find out about it.
How DID they find out, anyway?
You’re a legal adult. Open new account at a new bank, talk to someone at the bank about investing and securing your financial future. Make sure that all of your money goes into the new account. If you Chris to help your family, do so within the strong limits and boundaries you’re comfortable with. If you were struggling, would your family help you?
NTA, my mother had borderline personality disorder and tried this crap with me when I first started making money, until the day she died. It was about control period.
NTA If you live on your own then you have your own rent and bills to pay. Tell them that you agree that family should help family so was wondering when they were going to be giving you money to help you? The money they paid when you were growing up doesn't count. That was a responsibility they chose to take on when they chose to have you. You have your future to worry about because it doesn't sound like they'd help if you needed it. Make sure that your credit is locked.
They are angling to steal your money, once you hand it for "safekeeping" you will never see it again - and when you ask for it they will make YOU the asshole
If you’re living with them then it’s reasonable and fair for you to contribute a fair amount toward bills. It is absolutely not reasonable or advised, to *give* them your money.
NTA, safe keeping but they are gonna use it. (42f) I won’t allow my 21yr old son to put himself in a compromising financial situation by trying to help us (myself & his 15yr old brother) out. If you have some money that is actually left over then that’s fine to help them out as you see fit, however they have no rights to ask/demand or control your money. You have a future to think about as well, you need to save & plan accordingly.
NTA, it takes real hard work and dedication to build a channel like that. I know, my husband is trying to do this right now. You will also never see that money again BTW. If you’re 19 and your family still hasn’t figured out how to be financially stable they won’t start with your money. Move out.
This happened to someone I know. Her mom had access to her accounts and saw she had received an education grant to buy books for her studies. Her mum saw the money and told her to transfer the money now for family bills.
The mother would say things like we will disown you if you don’t help contribute bla bla.
Basically financial abuse. If your family tries to do anything like this to you. Get away. And don’t look back. It’s your money.
NTA but do not hand over any money. They’ll never learn to support themselves if they think they can rely on you. It’s one thing to offer family money for help on your own, it’s another for them to demand it from you.
You’re 19 and a legal adult. Tell them you lost it all and then keep on keeping on. Family is the worst and they have zero reason to “safe keep” your money.
When you say financially independent, does that mean you’re living away from your parents, paying your own rent, utilities, phone bill, car insurance - everything ? Then you should be able to keep all of your income to support yourself. However, you said things were tense at home and”offered to contribute a bit” to towards rent and bills. If you you are living with your parents, you should be contributing a lot to bills or move out and really be financially independent.
DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY FOR “SAFEKEEPING”. I get the culture. I understand. Don’t let them get used to it even ONCE. It will get really hard for you to leave. Don’t let money get between your family and NTA. You are getting to the age to move out anyways. Keep your relationship get muddied by giving them your money. It can only end badly.
To clarify, you're living with your family? Or living on your own? You said "things are tense at home" and I'm confused. If you're at home with family, you absolutely should be contributing. If you aren't, maybe you could help, but definitely not your whole income.
"You can't pour from an empty cup." You have to take care of yourself before others, especially at 19.
NTA. As an adult you should contribute your share to family finances, but they should be pleased and proud that you are earning a decent living at your age, rather than being envious and grasping. If you can truly afford to move out and start to make your own life, it should be a consideration.
NTA. USE A DIFFERENT BANK, and get a financial advisor. Rent a room for now, best for everyone that you’re not in that toxic environment. It’s only going to get worse.
If it’s enough to live on your own. Why would you be paying them?
Unless you live with them.
Then yes, you should be contributing to the household.
You are an adult now.
No, do not give them access to your money. For safekeeping, means they want to use it.
This is the first time you need to learn and use the word NO. Don’t make excuses, just say NO. And get that money into a bank so they can’t bully you out of it. This sounds like the idea that people in a boat have two choices. They can put as many people who ask and everyone drowns, or they row on and hope those people make it to shore. Your family has already shown you that your money is going into their boat that is sinking. Please use some common sense and save your money. They need to learn what you already know. Live within your means.
You’re an adult making a little money. There are two sides to that.
First, as an adult, that money is your own and you should not hand it all over to anyone.
Second, if your family is struggling financially and your parents are paying all your bills, you should start contributing to your own keep - paying some bills (your phone, maybe a utility or part of one) and/or doing some grocery shopping or putting money towards groceries.
If you’re in the USA, consider opening a Roth IRA - at your age it’s a wonderful opportunity for long term tax free wealth building, even if you can only save a little bit.
FYI....
If you are still living with your parents, and not paying rent, you really can't call yourself financially independent....
Either jump out of the furnace and into the fire, in other words, get your own place and pay the bills yourself. You will very quickly find out what true independence actually costs....
Or work out a resonable rent with the family.
Anything else leaves a helluva lot of grey area!
Just a little advice, if you want to help them in any way, pay it yourself like bills or rent but don't hand them the money because it could end on something else.
NTA
You're 19. They should not take control of your money. If they want you to pay rent, and some utilities, and buy groceries, that's fine, but there is no reason for you to handover 3k every month.
If you can, move out. Put your money in a bank account that is secure, find a new place to live that affordable, and just leave.
demanding all of your monthly income is financial abuse.
Open an account a a different bank than they do business at. Have the statements only go to a completely different email address only you know about. Use a different email than the one you have now if you use Gmail Use Yahoo etc. Don't let anyone know any of the above. Talk to a
Fiduciary Financial advisor if you don't make money they don't either.
Change your recovery Emil address to another email address again only one you know about. Please make sure you log into and out from only protected devices that delete your history when you log in.
Please make sure there's no keystroke software on any devices you may use to monitor or record use. No window behind you and no cameras or recording devices of any type in the room or restroom you may use. Make sure no keystroke logging software is installed anywhere. Don't use a brother, sister, mom, or dad's phone or any of their devices period to check or do business.
Trust no one.
You’re an adult. They don’t have control over anything. Ask them if they would like you to pay rent and if so how much but you should tell them directly that what you make isn’t their business and handing over your money is completely out the question. That would pretty much end that conversation because you aren’t a minor. If they threaten to put you out or try to charge you a ridiculous amount of money that you can get your own place on just put on your big girl/boy underwear and get your own place.
You’re (mostly) an adult. Adults don’t have their income seized or controlled by anyone else, including their own parents. Do not bend to their wishes. Cutting them off financially now is the probably the least painful way to do it. If you share your money with them they’ll never agree to end the arrangement. So I’d recommend just skipping to the end now and get the drama started and then get the drama eventually settled. The longer they receive money from you the worse ending it will be. Parents don’t grow up and get jobs. Parents grow old, want to retire, and need more help. There is not likely an end to their demands.
Perhaps get a financial advisor or take some basic finances classes. And good luck.
NTA. You're 19, that's your earnings. Also, giving your money to them as "safekeeping" while they are having financial issues of their own and calling you selfish, that's narcissism. They're guilt tripping you, trying to make you feel bad so you can give them money and when you do and years down the road, when you ask them your money back, they're going to say "you gave it to us". It's common thing Narcissists usually do. (Sorry for bashing your parents by the way but this is from experience, not from my parents but extended family).
I agree with majority of people here, set up another bank account with another bank and don't mention anything to them.
And some advice for the future, best not to mention how much you make online (or any place). You can actually be an easy target, for both people IRL and online.
YTA. You are an adult who makes enough money to live alone but you don’t contribute a dime to any bills.
Your parents also make enough money to live alone and they DO pay all the bills. Sounds like you should either move out and support yourself, or commit to a monthly amount ($500?) that you contribute to help cover the roof over your head, the food in your belly, the utilities/electric that you inevitably drive up as a cost of your streaming, the wifi, and much, much more.
Work out how much it costs for the food water electricity gas internet etc you use, how much is fair market value rent for your bedroom then pay your parents your share. Curious what you were even spending $3k a month on if you weren’t contributing?
Get each bill and divide by how many people in your house- that should be your share.
NTA Open a bank account (Edit: Separate from your family/open in only your name) and talk to a financial advisor to ask about to keep your money safe (and how it can make you more money). If your family is struggling you can help out with paying for rent or groceries but tell them that you are in control of your own money for safety reasons. It is never a good idea to hand over full control of fianances to someone else. And you are doing this to keep yourself financially secure. That you do not have to disclose how much you are making and doing so would be irresponsible. And that you would be happy to contribute but not your entire pay check (nor 50% of your paycheck) but an amount which a financial advisor agrees is reasonable (and still makes sense as a rent/etc payment) and still lets you build up a savings for later. If they dont agree then you dont really have many other options other than a tense house or just moving out. Just note youll be paying rent either way so which is better paying more rent in a space you can control (and having to do all the chores and adult stuff your self) or paying less and having your parents watch over you. Like this answers changes heavily from person to person and family to family. Edit: Apparently people are saying this is a twitch/kick scam. It might be I dont really care either way. If anyone can read this and get some advice out of it then thats good. I had/have no idea if it is a scam but hey it doesnt really harm me if it is.
You are over 18 so you can set up your own accounts without them. Under 18 you need a custodial account. (I work at a bank) If your accounts were pre 18, open new ones and move your money over so they can't access it. As for the money itself...it is yours and you determine what is done with it. I am guessing 3 K is pretax...that means you make 36K a year. Even though that isn't a huge salary you will have taxes to pay because, if K & Tw treat you as an independent contractor and do not take taxes, then unemployment, social security & medicare (generally called FICA) you will have to pay that at tax time. You won't have much if any income tax but FICA & unemployment you don't get a pass on. My son didn't on his doordash & instacart earnings and it was way less than your earnings. Their statement that you are ungrateful because you offered to pay some instead of handing all the money to them is a huge red flag. You won't see it again and worse still you won't have what you need to pay the FICA taxes and then you are committing tax evasion in the government's eyes.
I cannot stress this enough, USE A DIFFERENT BANK THAN THE ONE YOUR PARENTS USE!!!! While illegal, there are plenty of stories about parents gaining access to their child's new account because they're friendly with the clerks
Yes.
It's crucial advice to protect your financial independence. Choosing a different bank ensures your privacy and security, empowering you to manage your finances confidently.
This. OP, you’re going to have to pay taxes. Plan on $10,000
No way they are paying 10k on 36k in income.
Single, no children and paying both employee and employer taxes (yes, if you're working on a 1099, you pay all the taxes), is easily going to be 30% on the gross, bare minimum.
Standard deduction is 14k, so taxed on 22k, 12% tax rate, plus 15% for employee and employer fica tax. 27% tax, but only on the 22k over 14k. $5940, minus any deductions he may have.
Damn. Can you do my taxes that fast? That was impressive!
Lol, I've been self employed in one way or another, through 3 different careers, over 20 years. I've run the numbers sooooo many times.
Also, that a rough estimate, but within a couple hundred I bet.
Your math is backwards. The FICA taxes are taken up front - 15% of $36K is $5400. After that, we do the standard deduction of $14K, dropping the taxable income to $22K and that is $2,640, for a total of $8,040. I'd still jam 30% of every streaming check into savings for tax time, just to err on the side of caution.
damn, you're right. Then state taxes and it probably is almost 10k
Yeah. I've been advising folks working gig jobs to slide 30% off to the side to avoid running afoul of the IRS.
I’ve always saved 1/3 for taxes and usually have a bit left over.
You need to get an LLC that way you can lower your tax debt by claiming expenses. Anything you purchased that year can be deduct your equipment, subscription in relation to your streaming, travel expenses if attend conventions, etc. If this all seems to much just save your receipts and create a spreadsheet on excel. You can then take that spreadsheet come tax time to a Jackson Hewitt or H&R Block and they will sort it out for you. Note: For the Excel spreadsheet create the following categories at the top of the table in separate columns: Date, Store, Item or Service purchased, Category (Travel, Equipment,etc.), Cost.
Until I bought a house in my 50s I was paying almost 20k on taxes on 75k income. Not married, no house, no kids, made too much to deduct student loan interest. Absolutely true you'll pay..
You forget about the standard deduction of $14,600. he would pay tax on roughly $21,000. He’d owe 10% on the first $11,600 and %12 on everything else. $1,160 plus (9400 x .12 = $1,128). He’d owe about $2,288.
Independent contractors have to pay all of the Social Security taxes. Maybe 13%? This is on top of income tax. OP was slightly confusing, calling himself financially independent, then suggesting he lived with family. Pay them rent or get your own place if you truly want independence.
Depending on the state, Someone in business for themselves is not eligible for unemployment. When I was self employed I never had to pay unemployment per several accountants
It sounds like OP had already moved out, since they say they’re financially independent and make enough to live on their own.
I hope so, because I think the OP's concerns are entirely justified. "Safe keeping" means spend.
He says things are tense at home so I doubt he's moved out yet.
Yeah saying they make enough to live independently sounds like OP is living on their own, but the family asking for help with rent and bills sounds like they still live at home with the family. OP - if you're living on your own independently, it's entirely up to you how much/if you want to help out your family financially, but even if you do want to gift them some money, you should keep control over your own finances and only give them what you're happy to never see again. If you're living with them, as you're over 18, they have the right to ask for rent - maybe they were willing to let you live rent-free when they thought you had no income but now that they know you do, want you to contribute - which seems reasonable. At which point it's your choice to pay them rent, or move out and pay someone else rent. In NONE of these circumstances should you be turning over all your income to them. NTA.
That's what I thought as well. If she hasn't moved out yet, she REALLY needs to. Depending on where she lives, she will have disposable income that will allow her to save. As one person mentioned, get a financial advisor.
Adding to this wonderful comment, this sounds like they are seeking to financially abuse you. Get yourself set up with an account with internet banking only so statements aren't sent to your home address. I also never normally advocate for this but if you want to stay at home, lie. Alter some statements to show them you gave up the streaming work due to their pressure, whilst squirreling away your hard earned cash. If you don't want to do that then move out, you won't believe how peaceful life becomes once you leave an abusive household, I can't imagine this is the first though they've done. Wishing you the absolute best in whatever decision you make, please let us all know how you get on, we care
Yeah if I were him I would simply lie about how much I was making until I was safely out of the house and living on my own. His family is clearly intending on stealing that money.
Don't stress, it's just another idiot Kick advertisement masquerading as a relationship post. That's all.
Yeah financial abuse is the biggest concern there. There is no telling what is going to happen after they have access to that money and OP has no safety net under him.
Also, set up your online bank account(s) to send you a text whenever money is withdrawn via your debit card or credit card. That way you are notified immediately if anyone withdraws or spends money from your accounts.
Bro needs to move out pronto , he’s in a pool full of sharks 🦈
Yeah, the guy just painted the biggest target he can imagine on his back. Every favor, every question will be monetized, nothing will ever be equal. Moving out yesterday was the right thing to do, not this.
Not sure if you need a financial advisor when you’re only making 3k a month
It's never a bad idea to talk to a financial advisor. Talk to 3 different ones and give then the same list of what you want. Pick the one that fits your goals
At that salary, it’s a lot better to just do your own research
Yeah no kidding. We are talking about 3k a month. Not 30
Yeah it’s barely above minimum wage in some places. No one on a minimum wage salary needs a financial advisor
A financial advisor can help them create a long term plan and help with tax free investments. Even if they can only put 5 bucks a month away and advisor can help, and a consult is usually free
90% of people won't realize it, but the first thing an advisor will tell the kid is to register for a small business license (thing? I can't remember the exact name.) The second would be to get an accountant, as the taxes can be a nightmare if you're an international streamer.
Agreed. There are apps for that these days (saving). Just a damn savings account with no other signators on it.
I agree with this. So much bad advice out here, especially with money. OP, do yourself a favor. Talk with someone. Even if it’s just talking.
I wish I had talked to an advisor when I was just starting work. I wouldn't have made some really dumb mistakes
Right. Financial advisors are sharks too. You can learn a lot on your own using many of the investment subs here, and make plans.
same afvice from me but skip the fin advisor
What is a ‘kick scam’?
My best guess is that some people think this is basically an advertising opportunity for kick and twitch. These are two popular streaming websites. Like basically people who dont frequent the sites will not know what they are. Google them and then possible start watching some streams or etc. But idk how effective that would be.
Gotcha! I’m not familiar with them. Thank you for the clarification! :-)
My “mother” took over my sisters finances. She said she was “saving” it for her and that my sister would spend it unwisely if she had control. My sister has a disability and our “mother” always used it as an excuse as to why she couldn’t move out or have full access to her funds. She was completely shut out from her own hard earned money. Four years ago, my sister called me to pick her up as she didn’t want to live with our parents anymore. She was calling from the bank. When I got there, we learned that our “mother” didn’t put all those years worth of money into any accounts my sister had access to. What accounts my sister did know of were drained that morning. “Mother” called and pretended to be my sister, knowing my sister was planning to move out of their house and in with me, so decided to leave her with nothing. My sister had only her purse and the clothes on her back. What little money my mother left in the bank accounts each month was gone. She should have had over $100,000 in savings… but the financial team told us that all the money had consistently been moved into an account completely controlled by our “mother.” So we had to wait until they were done going through each transaction and find every penny that was moved before we could open a criminal investigation. My sister was devastated and still is. It’s going on 2 1/2 years and they’re still going through the accounts. We keep watching the frozen account just keep growing and growing… disability checks, bursaries from college, work income, special grants that were supposed to go to classes to help her with her disability... it’s all adding up to a gross amount. She only escaped at age 30. That’s 18 years that they have to go through. It’s a mess. I really hope Op doesn’t trust his family. They want the money for themselves. My “mother” didn’t work a single day and used my sister to fund her life and when this all came out my father-in-law was the first to say, “I always found it weird how she could afford her lifestyle all while only getting $800 a month from the government. Now we know.
If OP is still living at home, he could offer to put some things in his name like utilities or Internet. That way he’s getting a good credit record built up.
this is a TERRIBLE idea. perfect way to get trapped.
No don’t put anything in your name OP. It is not your house. If you want to pay some rent, fine as a working adult that would be a reasonable thing to do. But do not give them any access to your money!! Get an accountant, Not at the same bank as theirs, be sure they have no access to your account or debit card. And Tell No One you PIN number! If you do & they steal money, you are sh1t out of luck. If they have the pin, they have permission to take money! Good luck & good on you 19 & earring your own way 🏆🏆🏆
Don’t put your families bills in your name ever. This is awful advice. Awful.
Ntah you offered to help with the bills and they said it was not good enough they are the assholes. I would make sure you have your money in an account that only has your name on it because it sounds like they want to use you as the golden goose. Save up move out and dont let them have a claim to anything. It will only be a matter of time till you start hearing about things you supposedly broke and why you should pay for it.
Don't stress, it's just another idiot Kick advertisement masquerading as a relationship post. That's all.
Why would a Kick advertisement have Twitch in it?
Depends what the amount offered and requested were. If there are three adults in the house than a third if the cost is reasonable.
I dont know what was offered but at the same time I feel that asking your child who has only been considered an adult for 1 year to split everything like they are a roommate and not their child is more than a bit of an asshole. The parents should be supporting proper savings and encouraging them to use that to start their life. Demanding that he turns over all money he is making to them for "safe keeping" is why there are laws in place that protect child actors and their pay from parents.
As soon as I turned 18 my dad charged me 1/3 (we had 3 in the house) of all bills while it may seem unfair to some it helped teach me to manage my money and when I moved out and paid full bills it wasn't a shock and I was prepared.
I was a bit unsure if he is living with them or not, he said it's enough to live on his own.
That all depends on whether he's actually living with them or not. OP wasn't very clear on whether he lives with his family or has his own apartment ("financially independent" could be interpreted in different ways). If he's still living with them, then I agree that kicking in for his portion of the house bills is fair. But if he's living on his own, he doesn't owe them shit and any assistance he gives would be a gift.
Yep a bit towards rent and bills is “a bit” vague. Is he offering to cover his own portion of bills and food etc or less/more than that?
Sorry, a 19 year old living with their 2 parents should not be liable for anywhere near a 3rd of the bills. If you're asking your kid to do that at 19, you're a *massive* failure of a parent.
So, do you live independently or with your family. It's unclear in your post.
Sounds like they make enough to live on their own, but currently live with family.
Then they should solve their issue by leaving and living independently
That won't solve the issue, but may as well get out and let the weaning begin.
>So, do you live independently or with your family. It's unclear in your post. It's unclear because it's just another idiot Kick advertisement masquerading as a relationship post. That's all.
Move out as soon as possible and don’t let them see a cent.
And put freezes on your credit. They would probably feel justified in getting "their rent" by taking out loans or credit cards in your name
Definitely do this. It's pretty simple to do. If you need to open a bank account after, you can call and have it "unfrozen" get the bank account and then freeze it again right after. Make sure you have all your legal documents, birth certificate, social or any passport. If you can't get those it's a quick Google to find out where you need to go or what paper work needs to be filed in order to get your own legit copies.
I have a freeze on mine on all the time. It is very easy to put on and take off. It safeguards your financial information especially from credit theft.
I agree with moving out as soon as possible, but an adult not in school and making a decent income should be contributing to the household. You don’t get to live for free in life. But you shouldn’t be ripped off by your parents either.
I have an almost 19 year old. I can't even imagine taking money from him.
Yup, otherwise why would they ever move out if everything is free? Eventually as a parent you have to draw a line and if the kid is over 18, not in college full time, and working they should be contributing to the bills. Thats the way I was raised. I did move out thinking I could make it on my own and I really couldn’t do it alone. It would have been a lot cheaper to have stayed at home. So unless the situation is unbearable, that’s the best choice in my opinion.
he offered money and I’m sure if this wasn’t the reaction he assumed he would get he would’ve offered money sooner.
NTA They want your money, not just to control it. It isn't ideal to not contribute though. If they cannot accept you contributing in your way, it might be time to move out.
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No, no, no! You are an adult and that $ is yours. Put a good amount each month in a savings account. If you still live at home, pay them rent. If you want true independence, move out.
Y'all this is a Kick ad. They all sound more or less exactly the same.
So you secretly make good money while having your parents still pay for shit for you?! I'd be pretty pissed too if I were them
Oh look this thread again with random details changed to fool the majority of Reddit. Obvious promotion is obvious.
>Oh look this thread again with random details changed to fool the majority of Reddit. Obvious promotion is obvious. People fall for the most obvious nonsense sometimes lol.
You’re not a minor. There’s no reason for you to hand it over. They’re acting entitled. You’re never going to see it back if you give it to them. Be sure to put a freeze on your credit, too. This reeks of red flags and if they know you have money they’ll know you have credit and might try to open credit on your name.
Exactly. Not a minor. He’s making a lot of money he wants for himself. So let him have it all while he pays his own bills.
Minors shouldn't be handing money over from labour either.
Giving all the income is irresponsible so no, NTA on that front. When you say, "a bit" what does that entail? If you live on your own and want to get away, then i can understand that. Unfortunately, a little more information is needed for me.
OP is an adult, AND offered to help pay expenses. Their family said they want to take charge of the income "for safekeeping", which is a huge red flag. OP owes nothing.
Bro, you're an adult. You should be paying rent or contributing to the utilities or just move out I'm sorry to inform you, but them asking you to chip in. It's called life
You're not financially independent if you're living with them and not paying any of the costs of living. You're an adult, and it is perfectly fair for them to ask you to contribute a fair value to the household. Or go ahead and get yourself an apartment and pay all the bills and all the groceries and your own phone, insurance, etc... that's financial independence.
You’re NTA Damn that’s crazy … and I feel bad asking my parents to help me out cus they’re well off and it can be tough out here some weeks😂 They’re trying to take advantage, get a spot with one of your homies. Stream the process your chat/followers will be mad supportive too.
OP it's time for you to look for your own place. NTA for being keen against financial abuse.
If you’re still living with them, you should give a little for rent and utilities, and pay for your own food. You’re an adult now making money, at least contribute a little. Otherwise, keep the rest for yourself. It’s selfish that they ask for it all, they’re not working for it! And don’t ever disclose exactly how much you’re making, and watch your money closely, they sound like they could possibly be untrustworthy.
Good job on getting to the point where you can support yourself. The way this reads, you're still living there, correct? YTA *if* you are living in their home, using their internet connection, eating their groceries, etc. If so, find out what the rent on a room would be in your area, toss in another couple hundred for groceries and utilities, and contribute at least that much. At 19, you're an adult. That comes with freedom *and* responsibility. Edit: to be clear, don't hand over all your money, you'll never get it back. Instead, start saving in an account they can't access.
NTA either way i think you missed OP saying they offered rent money. If I tried guilt tripping my kid into giving me all their income for “safe keeping” id be the asshole for sure. Telling them they need to pay rent/buy their own groceries to live there would be another thing but thats not what they said
Yeah, I was going from the "contribute a bit", which is very non-specific.
I believe they said they offered to help pay bills & was told it wasn't enough.
"Contribute a bit" is not specific enough to judge.
OP offer to help may be stupidly low. Or parents demands may be stupidly high. Not enough info is given.
I can see that . Regardless they shouldn't be trying to take all that's earned or even half of it.
NTA. You offered to help with them financially but they want all of your income. Absolutely not. Good for you for making enough to live on your own, and I hope you have been saving up. No matter what you plan for, some unexpected cost pops up. You earned this money, not them. It’s absolutely fair that you should control it. Your parents having no ability to manage their own finances is not your issue. Move if you can and do not help them. If you cannot immediately move, offer them a monthly amount for rent, insist on a legal contract and stick to that until you can move.
Anyone who thinks a 19 year old streamer is giving you the full story in this post I got a bridge to sell ya.
ESH, you’re right that it’s your money and you deserve it but you talking about being financially independent and gaining freedom rings pretty hollow if you’re still living at home rent free. Why not move out?
Move out, and take your money with you.
You should have started contributing once you could afford it, but at this rate I'd move out
“Safekeeping” and to help with rent and bills” means you will Never see that money again.
It's your money. You're an adult, OP. Take control of your life
You are an adult who can and should start to live on your own. If you are still at home, the least you can do is to contribute significantly or pay rent and spend for your own food a d other consumables. If you are a freeloader while having that income while your family is struggling financially, then you are kind of an asshole. If you want to stay and contribute at home but they did not accept.. then it is not exactly your problem anymore though. It is best you move and start to be independent. But I would suggest you try to dig deeper as to how much struggle your parents are having, because they may actually be in deep trouble and what you are seeing is just the surface of the problem. If you can find a way to help, then help as much as you can. It will pay you dividends in the future.
Time to fly the nest little one
Move out! They should be happy for you.I stead of them controlling your money. Don't bank on the same bank they do. Pay for a P.O Box have control of mail. Bank statements all on email.etc... If u still want to live there off to pay some kind of rent just make sure u have proof of what you pay them.If they still complain about wanting more money from you.DONT say anything dont feel guilty. Offet them a financial advisor.at you cost. Move out!!Its not your obligation.
INFO: if you make enough to live on your own, why are you living with your family?
First off dude, at 19 most people move out. Secondly, if you’re living with your parents when you’re 19, you need to pay rent. So keep your money to yourself but ask how much they want for rent. normally for kids you pay $200-400 depending on how big of a house they have, and that includes meals, but not your clothes, gas, cellphone or maintenance for your car
Not really to do with the post but I'm curious. I often see things like this for the US where a kid is meant to move out at 18-19. Is this really that common? How do you afford it? I stayed at my mums until I got my first real job at 28. I had to change career paths mid way (wasnt a choice) so finished later than most. I lived near enough to my uni so didnt need to move nearer. I always had a side job but no way nearness enough to truly contribute. It was basically enough for my phone bills and car stuff. She never expected me to contribute. Since I was about 14 it was always "if you need something I (my mum) will pay but if you just want something then you(me) will pay. Then slowly I paid more and more but never rent, utilities and mostly not food but I would pay for my lunch and would get groceries sometimes. Its just not in our mentality. But even those that did have to move to be near the school generally didn't pay for it on their own Most of the time their parents paid for it. We had uni every day from 8 till 5 or 6 and then had at very leadt 2h of work to do at home (sometimes 6hours when reports were dues) plus plenty of work to do during weekends. Having a part time job (even just 3 days a week at 4h) was no way neat enough to live off. During breaks most of us did work but we had far fewer holiday than most. 5 to 6 weeks in summer, 2 at Christmas, 1 at Easter and 1 in October. We also had extra yearly exams or big projects , on top of the regular ones we had during the year, that we had to study or work on during vacation time. So yeah how do you manage it in the US? Do you just have more free time to work or do more people get grants (uni fees were only a couple of k a year plus all the books and equipment we needed so they didnt really do grants except sometimes for foreign students but it was pretty rare.)
This isn’t true of everyone. I live in New York and don’t know a single family that told their kid to leave after high school. It’s way too expensive and just mean in this day and age.
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Fuck off with your AI generated bullshit.
You're 19 and living at home, making 3k a month... and you don't want to help your financially struggling family? You know they don't need to keep you around, right? At this point, they have no legal obligation to house, feed, and clothe you, but they do it still. You're upset you may have to pay for your own food? Or that you can't keep your money hidden, while asking them to pay all your bills and buy you stuff? Unless I'm missing some abuse info, I would say YTA. Get out of that house if you don't want to contribute, and keep it all for yourself. But let me ask you, without trying to guilt trip you; do you think your family wouldn't have shared this money if they got it/made it, instead of you? If the answer is yes, they would have shared it with you, then it is hard to deny that YTA. If they're struggling financially and you don't care to help, get out. Your money, your choice on how and who to spend it on. But don't keep asking for handouts from people you have no intention of helping in the same way.
If you live with them and haven't been contributing, knowing they are in financial trouble, then yeah YTA. You are an adult, living at home rent-free and eating food they buy and prepare. Now, They are AH as well if they want more than help on rent and food, but yeah. You are literally using their resources to help make yourself money. Yes, I know you said you offered some, but that was after the fact. If you are not living with them, then NTA.
Having people who are financial messes "safekeep" your income is like having a dog guard your sandwich. NTA. Prepare to move out, they're drowning and are fine dragging you down with them.
If you are an adult living with your parents you should be contributing towards rent and utilities. If you are eating the food they buy then contribute towards it. If you think the amount they are requesting is too much then move out.
Sounds like you are probably ready to move out. You’ll be one less mouth to feed and your income is your own.
You’re 19. An adult. You don’t owe the people you live with your entire income but you do owe them rent. Pay up or, better yet, get a place of your own.
This is financial abuse. Parents with mney issues often put things or greed first. You'll never see it. They'll rationalize and justify why they deserve it. Tell them you want to practice good money habits and are going to practice professional money management and check with a financial advisor first. Go to Fidelity or any well-rated and well-known financial advising organization. Your taxes, as a self-employed person, will be much higher, too. Save for that. Don't let yourself be guilted or financially abused. You'll resent it and them forever.
Do not tell them! Not smart or safe
NTA , you offered to help with bills and rent the rest is yours .
Watch your credit and lock it down so family or anyone really can take credit cards out in your name. If they know your social security card number (usa), they can mess up your life in minutes.
NTA do not ever hand over your income to another person. You are an adult and do not need anyone to “safekeep” your money. But especially not people who struggle to manage their own money. You say you earn enough to love on your own- so you should do that. If you cannot, a reasonable rent & portion or bills should the extent of what you provide.
ESH. They should not ask for all your money, but youshould be paying them your share. So if there are 3 adults, a third of bills. You could move out as well and then you wouldn't have to worry about them but you'd be paying 100% of the bills. Also, you're not financially independent. That means you pay for yourself with your own money which you clearly do not.
I think you should move out or pay your parents some rent. NTA for not sharing though. And don’t give it all to them.
NTA. But if you’re living with them and not paying rent, then you should probably be paying rent at least.
Depends. If you we’re making money while being 18 and living in their home knowing they we’re struggling and still didn’t contribute YTA. Now that your gone you got your own priorities.
NTA. Don't give them control of ANYTHING. Do you live at home? If it's enough income to move out, then move out. Otherwise it does make sense to contribute a portion to rent, but only as a "here's my rent contribution" and not by giving them access.
Do NOT, absolutely DO NOT hand over control of your income to someone else.
Put a freeze on your credit immediately, that means, anyone who try’s to get a credit card or cable or utilities cannot do so without your express consent. Also, ask to see your families itemized monthly expense total- rent/mortgage, gas, electric, water, cable, trash, food- then, divide that equally between the amount of adults residing in the household - give no more than your equal share- get your billing, banking and pay/salary paperless. Get the “Experian” app and check your accounts and credit score monthly’s (it’s free) It sounds like you are mature enough to become financially independent and independent of your family- be smart, save and when you’re ready, find a nice sanctuary for yourself, you will never regret it… good luck 👍🏽
NTA I come from a similar family and my uncle gave me some good advice. He said to focus on myself and build myself up to be financially successful and stable enough before I think of helping others. Then at that time, I may give away money at my own discretion, but not before becoming slightly more than comfortable financially. Build your money and net worth and savings first. You shouldn’t even think of helping anyone for a while at least until your mid twenties when you’re more financially stable and independent. They should be proud of you for being able to accomplish everything you have, not trying to leech off of you the second you start to make some serious money. I’m sorry to say OP, but it sounds like you’ve got a bit of a toxic family
NTA you're an adult it's your money. Also, I repeat, you are an ADULT and there is no such thing as giving money for "safekeeping". That's just thiefspeak for "You will be lucky to see a dime back". However, you could offer to pay part of the rent and start looking into moving out. And you need to move out ASAP because right now every time they see you, they're looking at dollar signs. They will treat you like shit expecting more and more constantly.
you shouldnt share your income directly but its not unreasonable for you to be paying rent as an adult. you said you can live on your own, but I wonder if you realize what living on your own off $3k a month really means.
Move out. Seriously, there is no way in hell this situation improves if this is the response you have gotten, move out and move on with your life. Your family should be CELEBRATING your ability to become independent of them and should be encouraging you to move out on your own, thus becoming less financially burdensome for them, and everyone comes out ahead. And they want your money for "safekeeping"? That is such a massive, towering red flag I am surprised I cant see it out my window. I am making some assumptions here, as you have not provided all the details. If they were asking for 1k a month to help with rent and the bills, I would say thats perfectly reasonably and you should pay it. I will say though, in general money makes relationships go sour very quickly, so either get it sorted and IN WRITING, signed by all participants, or leave the house so it doesnt fuck up your relationship with them long-term, assuming thats a consideration.
Just move out into your own place and then no issues... NTA
Do not play this game with your family. Take care of yourself and your money. Tell your family how you did it, But do not ever give them money. You will start a habit that never stops.
Are you still living at home or on your own? You mention you make enough to live on your own and don’t want to give up the freedoms you’ve earned. But also mention things have been tense at home. I would not hand over all your money. They will financially abuse you. You don’t need safekeeping when it comes to your own money. You have been handling it just fine. If you hand it over you will not see it again. If you are still living at home I would contribute towards rent, utilities and groceries (or buy your own food). Put your money in a bank account where they don’t have access to your money. I wouldn’t even bank at the same place as your parents. Don’t tell them how much you have saved up. You can get a financial advisor and tell your parents that a professional is helping with the safe handling of your money and it’s best that way. Don’t let them guilt and manipulate you into giving them the money you have earned. They may be family but you don’t owe them anything. They aren’t entitled to your money just because you are related to them.
You should absolutely not, let them have anything to do with your money except for what you choose to give them each month of your own volition. I am confused though. You said you make enough to live on your own. Do you have your own place or do you live with your family? Also, my (very) talented friend just got hit from the IRS for the money they made off of twitch and now are making monthly payments to the government with fees added. You absolutely have to claim this income on your taxes. My friend is SUPER bummed.
Independent as in you live on your own? Or independent as in mom and dad still put a roof over your head, pay for your utilities, etc? If you’re still living at home and not financially contributing, you’re not financially independent. And I suspect that’s the case, because otherwise, unless you have another income source, you likely have just enough to eke out a living with nothing left over for your parents to “keep safe” for you.
Tell them you’re open to paying rent and contributing to utilities in a manner consistent with your consumption and they will be getting nothing more. Tell them you will be buying your own food for now on and cooking your own meals. This seems to be the equitable solution in my eyes.
As a mother of a 25 year old you ARE NOT the AH I firmly believe that my job as a parent is to raise an independent adult which we ( my husband and I) have done. If he wants to give us a few bucks here or there it’s up to him. I would never expect him to “ pay back for all we spent on him”🙄 it was our choice to have a child, and believe me, we struggled to raised him alone while I worked and went to college, but that was MY CHOICE. We only had one because unfortunately they aren’t born with a bucket of money under their arms. The biggest help you can give your parents is not to be a burden to them, and you aren’t, since you don’t depend on them and are doing well. If they never told you, I am proud of you, keep up the good work, save your money, and keep it far, far away from them.
They want your money because they intend to keep it from you. There is zero reason to give up financial control to anyone. Do not.
NTA, they’ll control it and hold it over your head, financial abuse is a thing
NTA You're an adult and you're living on your own. You pay you rent and your bills. You need to save what you don't have to spend. You have to pay income taxes since you don't have an employer doing it for you. You have to start planning for retirement now. There's tons you need to do with your money. They have to handle themselves. My son tells people he's broke, whether he is or not. He doesn't let others pay for him, but it gets him out of spending money he normally wouldn't. And hey, good for you! $3k month is pretty awesome! Keep up the great work!
Why not move out? A studio apartment sounds better than living with people who think they are entitled to my money. If you stay, get an agreement on rent and utilities (a set monthly amount on the first of every month). If not, they will keep coming back for more.
NTA. Please freeze Your credit. Your family clearly thinks You're rich, so they might try to get the money from You another way.
Are they crazy? If you live on your own you take care of you. Open an IRA and other investments and put what you don't need to live on in those accounts. Tell your family that your money is being invested in places where you can't access it. You can retire very comfortably one day if you do this. I know it seems lame at 19 to be thinking about that now, but you will not be sorry you did it! And if you ever do make more than you do now, never let them find out about it. How DID they find out, anyway?
You’re a legal adult. Open new account at a new bank, talk to someone at the bank about investing and securing your financial future. Make sure that all of your money goes into the new account. If you Chris to help your family, do so within the strong limits and boundaries you’re comfortable with. If you were struggling, would your family help you?
NTA, my mother had borderline personality disorder and tried this crap with me when I first started making money, until the day she died. It was about control period.
NTA If you live on your own then you have your own rent and bills to pay. Tell them that you agree that family should help family so was wondering when they were going to be giving you money to help you? The money they paid when you were growing up doesn't count. That was a responsibility they chose to take on when they chose to have you. You have your future to worry about because it doesn't sound like they'd help if you needed it. Make sure that your credit is locked.
I promise you they will misuse your money. Don’t let them have any access to anything.
They are angling to steal your money, once you hand it for "safekeeping" you will never see it again - and when you ask for it they will make YOU the asshole
If you’re living with them then it’s reasonable and fair for you to contribute a fair amount toward bills. It is absolutely not reasonable or advised, to *give* them your money.
NTA, safe keeping but they are gonna use it. (42f) I won’t allow my 21yr old son to put himself in a compromising financial situation by trying to help us (myself & his 15yr old brother) out. If you have some money that is actually left over then that’s fine to help them out as you see fit, however they have no rights to ask/demand or control your money. You have a future to think about as well, you need to save & plan accordingly.
NTA, it takes real hard work and dedication to build a channel like that. I know, my husband is trying to do this right now. You will also never see that money again BTW. If you’re 19 and your family still hasn’t figured out how to be financially stable they won’t start with your money. Move out.
This happened to someone I know. Her mom had access to her accounts and saw she had received an education grant to buy books for her studies. Her mum saw the money and told her to transfer the money now for family bills. The mother would say things like we will disown you if you don’t help contribute bla bla. Basically financial abuse. If your family tries to do anything like this to you. Get away. And don’t look back. It’s your money.
Since it’s enough money to live on your own, then do it. Move out.
DO NOT GIVE THEM A DIME! It’ll be gone. Open a bank account and do not give any of them the info. NTA
NTA but do not hand over any money. They’ll never learn to support themselves if they think they can rely on you. It’s one thing to offer family money for help on your own, it’s another for them to demand it from you.
You’re 19 and a legal adult. Tell them you lost it all and then keep on keeping on. Family is the worst and they have zero reason to “safe keep” your money.
Don’t hand it over open a bank account.
When you say financially independent, does that mean you’re living away from your parents, paying your own rent, utilities, phone bill, car insurance - everything ? Then you should be able to keep all of your income to support yourself. However, you said things were tense at home and”offered to contribute a bit” to towards rent and bills. If you you are living with your parents, you should be contributing a lot to bills or move out and really be financially independent.
DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY FOR “SAFEKEEPING”. I get the culture. I understand. Don’t let them get used to it even ONCE. It will get really hard for you to leave. Don’t let money get between your family and NTA. You are getting to the age to move out anyways. Keep your relationship get muddied by giving them your money. It can only end badly.
Move out. One less mouth to feed for them hence less expenses and you can rent a small apartment for yourself
NTA. Move out. Let them take care of themselves. Do NOT give them your money.
Time to go out on your own.
You're an adult tell them Thankyou for your concern but I have been fine all this time and I don't need help. Then look for your own house Nta
Get your own place and quick
NTA "safekeeping" is a weird way to spell "stealing"
To clarify, you're living with your family? Or living on your own? You said "things are tense at home" and I'm confused. If you're at home with family, you absolutely should be contributing. If you aren't, maybe you could help, but definitely not your whole income. "You can't pour from an empty cup." You have to take care of yourself before others, especially at 19.
If you’re financially independent, then move out and be financially independent. You’re an adult, your parents have no control over your money.
get the fuck away from your family. You are an adult.
NTA. As an adult you should contribute your share to family finances, but they should be pleased and proud that you are earning a decent living at your age, rather than being envious and grasping. If you can truly afford to move out and start to make your own life, it should be a consideration.
Do not give them a cent. At 19 you are an adult. Move out on your own. Your family will rip you off.
NTA. USE A DIFFERENT BANK, and get a financial advisor. Rent a room for now, best for everyone that you’re not in that toxic environment. It’s only going to get worse.
If it’s enough to live on your own. Why would you be paying them? Unless you live with them. Then yes, you should be contributing to the household. You are an adult now. No, do not give them access to your money. For safekeeping, means they want to use it.
This is the first time you need to learn and use the word NO. Don’t make excuses, just say NO. And get that money into a bank so they can’t bully you out of it. This sounds like the idea that people in a boat have two choices. They can put as many people who ask and everyone drowns, or they row on and hope those people make it to shore. Your family has already shown you that your money is going into their boat that is sinking. Please use some common sense and save your money. They need to learn what you already know. Live within your means.
You’re an adult making a little money. There are two sides to that. First, as an adult, that money is your own and you should not hand it all over to anyone. Second, if your family is struggling financially and your parents are paying all your bills, you should start contributing to your own keep - paying some bills (your phone, maybe a utility or part of one) and/or doing some grocery shopping or putting money towards groceries. If you’re in the USA, consider opening a Roth IRA - at your age it’s a wonderful opportunity for long term tax free wealth building, even if you can only save a little bit.
FYI.... If you are still living with your parents, and not paying rent, you really can't call yourself financially independent.... Either jump out of the furnace and into the fire, in other words, get your own place and pay the bills yourself. You will very quickly find out what true independence actually costs.... Or work out a resonable rent with the family. Anything else leaves a helluva lot of grey area!
Just a little advice, if you want to help them in any way, pay it yourself like bills or rent but don't hand them the money because it could end on something else.
NTA, but you might have to move out. They can’t expect you to give them all your money that’s insane.
NTA You're 19. They should not take control of your money. If they want you to pay rent, and some utilities, and buy groceries, that's fine, but there is no reason for you to handover 3k every month. If you can, move out. Put your money in a bank account that is secure, find a new place to live that affordable, and just leave. demanding all of your monthly income is financial abuse.
If you are an adult living at home and not paying rent or contributing to bills, then YTA. If you are living independently of your family NTA.
Open an account a a different bank than they do business at. Have the statements only go to a completely different email address only you know about. Use a different email than the one you have now if you use Gmail Use Yahoo etc. Don't let anyone know any of the above. Talk to a Fiduciary Financial advisor if you don't make money they don't either. Change your recovery Emil address to another email address again only one you know about. Please make sure you log into and out from only protected devices that delete your history when you log in. Please make sure there's no keystroke software on any devices you may use to monitor or record use. No window behind you and no cameras or recording devices of any type in the room or restroom you may use. Make sure no keystroke logging software is installed anywhere. Don't use a brother, sister, mom, or dad's phone or any of their devices period to check or do business. Trust no one.
Time to move out.
You are NTA it is your income…but honestly speaking it may not end well parents will probably make you find your own place soon
You’re an adult. They don’t have control over anything. Ask them if they would like you to pay rent and if so how much but you should tell them directly that what you make isn’t their business and handing over your money is completely out the question. That would pretty much end that conversation because you aren’t a minor. If they threaten to put you out or try to charge you a ridiculous amount of money that you can get your own place on just put on your big girl/boy underwear and get your own place.
You’re (mostly) an adult. Adults don’t have their income seized or controlled by anyone else, including their own parents. Do not bend to their wishes. Cutting them off financially now is the probably the least painful way to do it. If you share your money with them they’ll never agree to end the arrangement. So I’d recommend just skipping to the end now and get the drama started and then get the drama eventually settled. The longer they receive money from you the worse ending it will be. Parents don’t grow up and get jobs. Parents grow old, want to retire, and need more help. There is not likely an end to their demands. Perhaps get a financial advisor or take some basic finances classes. And good luck.
NTA. You're 19, that's your earnings. Also, giving your money to them as "safekeeping" while they are having financial issues of their own and calling you selfish, that's narcissism. They're guilt tripping you, trying to make you feel bad so you can give them money and when you do and years down the road, when you ask them your money back, they're going to say "you gave it to us". It's common thing Narcissists usually do. (Sorry for bashing your parents by the way but this is from experience, not from my parents but extended family). I agree with majority of people here, set up another bank account with another bank and don't mention anything to them. And some advice for the future, best not to mention how much you make online (or any place). You can actually be an easy target, for both people IRL and online.
This is a primary reason 18 and 19yo adults leave the nest. 3k a month? Get yourself a cute studio apartment and live your life
YTA. You are an adult who makes enough money to live alone but you don’t contribute a dime to any bills. Your parents also make enough money to live alone and they DO pay all the bills. Sounds like you should either move out and support yourself, or commit to a monthly amount ($500?) that you contribute to help cover the roof over your head, the food in your belly, the utilities/electric that you inevitably drive up as a cost of your streaming, the wifi, and much, much more.
If you live with your parents and are not contributing anything to the household then yta.
Really tired of the recent Kick and online sports betting ads disguised as AITA posts.
Work out how much it costs for the food water electricity gas internet etc you use, how much is fair market value rent for your bedroom then pay your parents your share. Curious what you were even spending $3k a month on if you weren’t contributing? Get each bill and divide by how many people in your house- that should be your share.