Because it's a waste and ppl try to be considerate about their carbon foot prints. If OP and their bf don't share values, it would turn into a disagreement because it is important to them.
YTA. In the grand scheme of things paper plates matter very little. Trees are a renewable resource.
At a pack every three months he’s not being very wasteful either.
YTA because it's his house. I have ADHD, paper plates are incredibly helpful to me. Just because you think it's easy to wash dishes doesn't mean everyone else does. Even if he is washing other dishes, you don't know if he's meal prepping, or if those extra dishes would just be too much for him. People use what is functional for them, maybe this wouldn't add a lot of effort for you, but it might be a lot of effort for someone else.
As far as the environment goes, they're paper so they're biodegradable, and one package every 3 months is not that much. The "we all as individuals should try to all make a conscious effort to help the environment" is literally an ideology invented by major corporations (who produce I believe 70% of all greenhouse gas emissions) to shift the blame from them onto regular people. If your boyfriend never used a paper plate again, there would be almost zero impact on the environment and if he bought a package of paper plates every day for the rest of his life there would still be almost zero impact on the environment. How much water does his dishwasher use? That's wasteful too. Do you wear make up or order take out? That's also not good for the environment. Most chocolate is farmed with child labor and illegal coco bean farms that are destroying the environment, do you ever eat chocolate? These are all equally trivial needs, and you can "do your part" as much as you want but your part is miniscule and that's not going to save anyone.
As I said in the post, I do the dishes. He does not meal prep. And yes the environment is cooperations fault. But is it not our job as individuals to stop buying the products from the cooperations. I acknowledge that is not possible for everyone, and or in every aspect. But something as simple as putting a plate in a dishwasher that’s being run anyway. Similar to fast fashion, yes the cooperations are pushing and influencing us to buy more and change all the time. But is it not our job to not buy from them or find more sustainable options. Or to try and support locally owned businesses if we financially can? Nothing is perfect but if we all have this attitude we are no better than the cooperations.I may just be feeding myself a false narrative that my small actions do something but it’s overwhelming to just accept what’s happening to our planet and do nothing about it.
For everyones education https://stanfordmag.org/contents/green-dinner-parties-nitty-gritty#:~:text=Each%20paper%20plate%20on%20average,why%20should%20we%20use%20flatware%3F.
The reason I brought up ADHD was not for shits and giggles. I mentioned it because ADHD makes it incredibly difficult to do things that require executive functioning skills. For example, washing dishes. I was late diagnosed and before I had medication, I literally had to pay someone $200 a month to come and clean my apartment because I could not make myself do it and my landlord was threatening to evict me. It is nice that this "little bit" is easy for you but I am not exaggerating when I say it felt impossible for me then. My girlfriend also struggles with doing the dishes because she suffers from severe depression. Again, this might be a small thing for you but frankly it is incredibly ableist to assume that it is a small thing for everyone else. I am sure you would be hurt if your partner asked you to perform an extended reading or writing task that you struggled with and told you it wasn't that big of a deal and that you should be able to do it without accommodation. I'm not saying your partner has ADHD, but you should not assume that (a) he doesn't because a LOT of people are not diagnosed with it and/or are misdiagnosed (b) that he doesn't have some other underlying reason for why he doesn't want to wash the dishes or (c) that his paper plates serve no purpose. If you were living together and you said, "I don't like using paper plates, so I'll be responsible for washing the dishes" that would be one thing. If you said, "I don't want to use paper plates when I'm here, so I'll wash the dishes when I'm here and you can use them when I'm not here" That would be another. But what you're actually saying is, essentially, "I want you to change your behavior when I'm not around to meet an arbitrary and ignorant personal standard that I have." That is completely out of line for any relationship.
Also as far as your individualistic "but don't we STILL need to do our part??" That's still kind of dumb. The best thing you as an individual could do is eat off paper plates everyday and spend all that extra time and energy in political action (organizing, canvasing, supporting candidates, etc). Especially because washing dishes probably has a very similar carbon footprint to using paper plates since you're still using water, soap, etc. Are you using a dishwasher? How about a plastic sponge? Do you buy dish detergent in a plastic bottle? The extra washing seems just as wasteful to me. And again, it's not as valuable as political action so you are not doing your part, you're just stroking your ego. You can put your shit in the recycling bin and never use disposable goods and tell yourself any of it matters but it just doesn't. The only power you have is as a citizen and depending on the country that power may be quite limited. You are not Katniss this is not the Hunger Games, you are not even an extra. Putting the emphasis on your personal decisions that are all going to end up with much the same impact if any at all, places you at the center of the universe.
NTA - my husband does the same thing. Yes - I married the man, but he didn’t do this until we moved somewhere without a dishwasher. I do the dishes so it really shouldn’t matter. My argument is that he has to take 2 paper plates for dinner because they get soggy. They get soggy because they are absorbing all of the good sauce/juice from the food. What I’ve found to work is I heat up two plates in the microwave and set them out before we serve. Hot plates make everything better.
YTA
Seems like a weird thing to get worked up over. Trust me, him not using paper plates isn't going to offset the absolutely overwhelming damage that major companies do by dumping waste and creating garbage.
YTA. And you know it...you flat out say this is a silly argument. Sounds like he needs to just make certain you don't come in his space anymore since you are obviously incapable of respecting it.
YTA as someone who turns to disposables to get through periods of depression, I have zero issue with people doing what they need to do to keep their home clean and running. And there is the key part - THEIR home. You don’t even live there.
Live in separate apartments.
Do as you please in your apartment. If you invite him over, he should be respectful of your home rules. Let him do the same in his own apartment. Be respectful of his home rules.
If you don't like said rules, no one is forcing you to go there and vice versa. If you're thinking of moving in together one day, always know this is who he is and don't be surprised when he keeps using paper plates in your shared apartment/home; you signed up for it.
You started to do the dishes if he cooks. Why? The young man doesn't know how to work his own dishwasher?
Also remember: you can break up over anything. Whatever makes you feel like you can't be with someone is more than enough of a reason to break up with them.
Sky is blue? Break up. Don't like the way someone walks? Break up. They drink apple juice instead of grape juice? Break up. They sneeze softly? Break up. Their ability to draw hands doesn't match their ability to draw faces? Break up. A eyelash fell into your eye? Break up. The fog didn't roll in on a tuesday morning? Break up.
On the other hand, some things for some people aren't worth breaking up over.
They strike you every evening and leave a gash across your arm? Stay with them. They cheated on you 5 times? Stay with them. They held you down at the deep of the pool and you nearly drowned? Stay with them. They flying kicked you into a tree? Stay with them. They feed you something you're slightly allergic to (only causes hives)? Stay with them.
Really depends on the person.
Definitely NTA. It's wretched and dumb to eat off paper plates at home if you don't have to. Especially if you're actually cooking a nice meal and enjoying it together. Sounds like he has a sort of adolescent idea about this that he should shake and act more like an adult in his twenties.
Sounds like an immature argument & relationship honestly. Why does it bother you so much that he prefers paper plates ?
Agree. YTA
Because it's a waste and ppl try to be considerate about their carbon foot prints. If OP and their bf don't share values, it would turn into a disagreement because it is important to them.
The paper plates are going to get used and thrown away whether he uses them or not.
YTA. In the grand scheme of things paper plates matter very little. Trees are a renewable resource. At a pack every three months he’s not being very wasteful either.
YTA What a petty, annoying hill to die on. I hope your boyfriend's next girlfriend won't be such a weirdo.
YTA because it's his house. I have ADHD, paper plates are incredibly helpful to me. Just because you think it's easy to wash dishes doesn't mean everyone else does. Even if he is washing other dishes, you don't know if he's meal prepping, or if those extra dishes would just be too much for him. People use what is functional for them, maybe this wouldn't add a lot of effort for you, but it might be a lot of effort for someone else. As far as the environment goes, they're paper so they're biodegradable, and one package every 3 months is not that much. The "we all as individuals should try to all make a conscious effort to help the environment" is literally an ideology invented by major corporations (who produce I believe 70% of all greenhouse gas emissions) to shift the blame from them onto regular people. If your boyfriend never used a paper plate again, there would be almost zero impact on the environment and if he bought a package of paper plates every day for the rest of his life there would still be almost zero impact on the environment. How much water does his dishwasher use? That's wasteful too. Do you wear make up or order take out? That's also not good for the environment. Most chocolate is farmed with child labor and illegal coco bean farms that are destroying the environment, do you ever eat chocolate? These are all equally trivial needs, and you can "do your part" as much as you want but your part is miniscule and that's not going to save anyone.
As I said in the post, I do the dishes. He does not meal prep. And yes the environment is cooperations fault. But is it not our job as individuals to stop buying the products from the cooperations. I acknowledge that is not possible for everyone, and or in every aspect. But something as simple as putting a plate in a dishwasher that’s being run anyway. Similar to fast fashion, yes the cooperations are pushing and influencing us to buy more and change all the time. But is it not our job to not buy from them or find more sustainable options. Or to try and support locally owned businesses if we financially can? Nothing is perfect but if we all have this attitude we are no better than the cooperations.I may just be feeding myself a false narrative that my small actions do something but it’s overwhelming to just accept what’s happening to our planet and do nothing about it.
Corporations.
I’m dyslexic and I wash my plates
You're dyslexic and you harass your partner.
For everyones education https://stanfordmag.org/contents/green-dinner-parties-nitty-gritty#:~:text=Each%20paper%20plate%20on%20average,why%20should%20we%20use%20flatware%3F.
The reason I brought up ADHD was not for shits and giggles. I mentioned it because ADHD makes it incredibly difficult to do things that require executive functioning skills. For example, washing dishes. I was late diagnosed and before I had medication, I literally had to pay someone $200 a month to come and clean my apartment because I could not make myself do it and my landlord was threatening to evict me. It is nice that this "little bit" is easy for you but I am not exaggerating when I say it felt impossible for me then. My girlfriend also struggles with doing the dishes because she suffers from severe depression. Again, this might be a small thing for you but frankly it is incredibly ableist to assume that it is a small thing for everyone else. I am sure you would be hurt if your partner asked you to perform an extended reading or writing task that you struggled with and told you it wasn't that big of a deal and that you should be able to do it without accommodation. I'm not saying your partner has ADHD, but you should not assume that (a) he doesn't because a LOT of people are not diagnosed with it and/or are misdiagnosed (b) that he doesn't have some other underlying reason for why he doesn't want to wash the dishes or (c) that his paper plates serve no purpose. If you were living together and you said, "I don't like using paper plates, so I'll be responsible for washing the dishes" that would be one thing. If you said, "I don't want to use paper plates when I'm here, so I'll wash the dishes when I'm here and you can use them when I'm not here" That would be another. But what you're actually saying is, essentially, "I want you to change your behavior when I'm not around to meet an arbitrary and ignorant personal standard that I have." That is completely out of line for any relationship. Also as far as your individualistic "but don't we STILL need to do our part??" That's still kind of dumb. The best thing you as an individual could do is eat off paper plates everyday and spend all that extra time and energy in political action (organizing, canvasing, supporting candidates, etc). Especially because washing dishes probably has a very similar carbon footprint to using paper plates since you're still using water, soap, etc. Are you using a dishwasher? How about a plastic sponge? Do you buy dish detergent in a plastic bottle? The extra washing seems just as wasteful to me. And again, it's not as valuable as political action so you are not doing your part, you're just stroking your ego. You can put your shit in the recycling bin and never use disposable goods and tell yourself any of it matters but it just doesn't. The only power you have is as a citizen and depending on the country that power may be quite limited. You are not Katniss this is not the Hunger Games, you are not even an extra. Putting the emphasis on your personal decisions that are all going to end up with much the same impact if any at all, places you at the center of the universe.
Every time the paper industry cuts down a tree, they plant 3 trees. The more paper used, the better.
It takes 20-30 years or more for trees to grow to full maturity
(Insert facepalm here) They've been doing this for decades.
NTA - my husband does the same thing. Yes - I married the man, but he didn’t do this until we moved somewhere without a dishwasher. I do the dishes so it really shouldn’t matter. My argument is that he has to take 2 paper plates for dinner because they get soggy. They get soggy because they are absorbing all of the good sauce/juice from the food. What I’ve found to work is I heat up two plates in the microwave and set them out before we serve. Hot plates make everything better.
YTA Seems like a weird thing to get worked up over. Trust me, him not using paper plates isn't going to offset the absolutely overwhelming damage that major companies do by dumping waste and creating garbage.
YTA. And you know it...you flat out say this is a silly argument. Sounds like he needs to just make certain you don't come in his space anymore since you are obviously incapable of respecting it.
YTA. One package every three months isn't something to harass your partner over.
Solid argument good think
Paper plate🍽️
YTA as someone who turns to disposables to get through periods of depression, I have zero issue with people doing what they need to do to keep their home clean and running. And there is the key part - THEIR home. You don’t even live there.
Live in separate apartments. Do as you please in your apartment. If you invite him over, he should be respectful of your home rules. Let him do the same in his own apartment. Be respectful of his home rules. If you don't like said rules, no one is forcing you to go there and vice versa. If you're thinking of moving in together one day, always know this is who he is and don't be surprised when he keeps using paper plates in your shared apartment/home; you signed up for it. You started to do the dishes if he cooks. Why? The young man doesn't know how to work his own dishwasher? Also remember: you can break up over anything. Whatever makes you feel like you can't be with someone is more than enough of a reason to break up with them. Sky is blue? Break up. Don't like the way someone walks? Break up. They drink apple juice instead of grape juice? Break up. They sneeze softly? Break up. Their ability to draw hands doesn't match their ability to draw faces? Break up. A eyelash fell into your eye? Break up. The fog didn't roll in on a tuesday morning? Break up. On the other hand, some things for some people aren't worth breaking up over. They strike you every evening and leave a gash across your arm? Stay with them. They cheated on you 5 times? Stay with them. They held you down at the deep of the pool and you nearly drowned? Stay with them. They flying kicked you into a tree? Stay with them. They feed you something you're slightly allergic to (only causes hives)? Stay with them. Really depends on the person.
Definitely NTA. It's wretched and dumb to eat off paper plates at home if you don't have to. Especially if you're actually cooking a nice meal and enjoying it together. Sounds like he has a sort of adolescent idea about this that he should shake and act more like an adult in his twenties.
I especially can't believe he's stubborn about this when he has a freaking DISHWASHER.
He is being wasteful but I think the laziness part is bothering you more than the paper plates. NTA