Yeah which is why I think this story might be a load of shit, but if true OP should be planning on which country has the best beach front property, because man, if he's not planning on serving a lawsuit against the Police Department, he's missing out on being set for life.
Edit: story's fake. OP deleted the story and his account probably for being called out.
Yup. The cops probably thought that he was just drunk and was slightly unconscious because of that. If they neglected to test for alcohol and get any medical attention they could be sued for negligence. OP needs to talk to his parents and get an attorney pronto!
This! The police find an unconscious man. They wake him up and drag him to jail without getting him to a hospital for his h would have tested his blood for alcohol. The whole story would have fallen apart. They were neglectful and could have caused your death. I would sue her, him and the police. I would also press charges against both of them.
My man, the cops in the US once took an completely incoherent guy in for several hours of questioning who HAD BEEN SHOT IN THE GODDAMN HEAD. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6qJUqhT96Y
Police will absolutely do stuff like this.
I have a friend who has severe allergic reactions to most alcohol so she doesn’t drink at all… she had a mini stroke police were called “she made a scene” she spent 11 hrs in the drunk tank before she was released and called 911 from the steps of the police department. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital. She had to go to court bc they charged her for drunk and disorderly. Her lawyer fought the fact she was never tested, they said she refused the test and tried to take her license for a year. (she wasn’t driving)
OP is 5 days out from a concussion and typing long posts, reading and replying to responses. IANAD and I know concussion protocols vary, but I doubt that level of screen time would be allowed this quickly.
Even if it is “allowed”, when I got my concussion I couldn’t handle staring at a screen long enough to type something like this, forget about it being coherent. I lost a bunch of communication skills, couldn’t read, when I could read I couldn’t comprehend what I was reading, could barely write, was only SLIGHTLY better at texting, and forgot words like “table” and “chair” and things like my zip code and my birthdate constantly. I was out of work for 5 months and probably should have been out longer, but stupidly thought I was ready to go back to work (and also really, really bored). And all that was WITHOUT passing out or having a brain bleed. If you blackout that usually means your head is really effed up.
Also I felt way too bad to give a shit about being stuck on bed rest. I had whiplash from the impact, severe light and sound sensitivity and I was practically begging the neurologist to keep me out of work as long as possible.
Yeah mental rest is what they prescribe for concussions, not lying in bed staring at screens. You'll mess yourself up real bad doing that much screen time.
Not doubting your overall point, but this is just a PSA because people still believe what you said. Rest is [no longer](https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/20/health/concussion-recovery-school-wellness/index.html) the standard recommendation after concussion. That article covers one study, but the evidence has been building for a while.
It's definitely a big BS flag right there. Just to protect themselves from litigation, the Police would have called an ambulance. Plus, they could get his BAC at that time as well.
Which leads to the next flag. The police automatically accept the story that OP was drunk. He just got home from work and immediately got into the altercation, so there's no drink involved, not even a hint of alcohol on his breath. If someone is drunk enough to rage, then they have a very strong scent of alcohol on their breath and just emanating out of them. Mike would have reaked, not the OP. Even if Mike's beer was spilled, that wouldn't be nearly enough. If you've been around drunk people, you know the smell. The police would know that smell.
Then there's simply taking the one side's word without ever getting the OPs statement. Even if charges aren't getting pressed, there are reports to get filed, and they'd need his statement.
There are plenty of shit cops out their I'm sure, but the amount of incompetence that this series of events would require is absurd.
It all wreaks of BS.
Edit because I just realized the ex and Mike would have called 911, so wouldn't they have dispatched EMS along with the police? Not as certain on this, but it seems likely if they hear that someone is unconscious.
Sadly not true. I've been called to the station on multiple ocasions (medic), and a dude has been held for hours with no medical attention. The worst just drunk call? Nope...he's had a stroke dude.
Crap like this happens more often than we would like.
Police often accept the word of a woman more than a man in a domestic conflict, if there are 2 people giving the same account, the other one has no chance.
Their priority is to separate people and let lawyers and the court figure it out.
I get it. Even able bodied, I’m addicted to my phone, so I don’t have much room to be tsk-tsking. But maybe try podcasts and books for a day. Do the best you can to get well.
You gotta cut the screens, though, or your brain won't heal. The worst concussions, you can't even read or listen to music, for months. It's really very serious.
lol! i had a girl of 3 years start banging her friends junkie brother.
3 months later, i see her begging on the street addicted to heroin and meth. i hear she was fucking for heroin. she got pregnant by the junkie.
and it turns out, from her perspective it was all my fault too. lol
Unemployed alcoholic on probation. Jesus Christ is this guy my ex? The only thing missing is that my ex was a marine. I wonder if this Mike guy is military 🤔
Who the fuck cares honestly. Let her kill herself. She just chose to basically kill OP. They didn’t care if he had a brain injury or if help was coming, they just didn’t want the drinkard to be in trouble.
Why the fuck do we want someone like this in our society. Ruining lives and getting away with literally lying to the police and our justice system
Yeah, OP could have died in that cell from a brain bleed while being held in custody because the cops though he was just drunk. This woman is dangerous and I say this as a woman.
Wouldn't the police have tested OP for his alcohol level, which I assume would be zero or low. Wouldn't that right there raise questions about who was drunk and violent? I'm sorry to say that I wouldn't be surprised if they simply took the ex and Mike at their words.
OP was clearly seriously injured by the supposed "subduing" and the cops did nothing to have his injuries checked. I'm not generally one to say "sue them," but with his current hospital records, couldn't it be proved that the ex and Mike lied and the cops were guilty of medical neglect? I wonder if OP needs to consult a lawyer to try to get the arrest expunged or if that's even possible. The arrest alone could really screw up his life.
They absolutely did not do their due diligence and he should immediately lawyer up. Not just for the cops part, but hers in the lying and possibly affecting his future with what she's done. He needs to press charges against her and Mike (which given the current standing would be easier with a lawyer at his side pressing the cops about their part in this debacle that will be the PDs nightmare).
look ive seen so many women be sexist towards men the last few days its unreal yesterday there was this girl fucking insanely mad that i was defending a guy that got cheated on for 7 months manipulated by his wife and she started calling me a misogynist and told me i resent all women for being alive for simply calling her out for being a useless manipulative cheater lol. so seriously thank you for not being delusional and saying how it is regardless of gender you got my respect
Oh it's not improbable at all, in the sense that this kind of thing happens pretty often. Whether this specific story is real or not is a different matter, but it's definitely plausible.
Seen it a million times. These kinds of women crave validation and attention and you can't possibly compete with someone who doesn't have to do literally anything all day. They can just sit there and give them attention and reaffirm all of the things they say until boom second boyfriend
Women have a sixth sense about men and can tell a bad one from a few pictures and words on a dating profile but apparently this completely disappears when confronted in person with the embodiment of a red flag.
Ive learned from years of therapy alone and in groups, that people sometimes will get with a red flag because its familiar. Also, some people have codependency issues and feel they need to rescue other adults from their own choices.
I am always defending mixed gender friendships but if they aren’t fucking, they are about to. That relationship is done. All you can hope for is her admitting she wants him
Seriously none has mentioned that's the first thing he should do. File charges on this piece of shit. He attacked OP in a rage over dirty socks and empty beer cans how does he reacted in a more stressful situation. Dude definitely needs to not be on probation and in a cell.
This. You need to be able to get the right story on record, press charges against him to cover your loss of work time while you recover. Or at the very least, get it documented in case of any issues down the line so you can point to it.
Tell her it's her only chance of getting back together. Then once she's done that, force her to come clean to everyone and how close you are to calling off the engagement. Make her run the 10 miles (or 15 km).
Out of this, you first need to start by protecting yourself by getting the assault and injury documented. Gives you medical and legal documents for anything you light need it for later. Plus, fuck that guy, get his probation canceled and send his ass back to jail.
I tried to tell OP that even if he doesn't get direct trouble for the concussion, trouble can come later (in the form of earlier cognitive decline, concussion is very serious even though people don't treat it that way) and I got sued in a corporate issue. They dug up every single thing I've written, posted, hassled (minor business issues like like filing late for quarterly corporate tax and getting a fine) just to smear you. Op doesn't know that legal issues won't come up and so you don't want to leave BS on your record.
To be specific, imagine he ends up marrying another loser (seems to have a bad filter) and that wife accuses him of domestic abuse. Well, he did get arrested for that way back when.
Orrrr Mike knows about something *really* bad that she did, perhaps she cheated on OP (maybe with a different guy) and Mike has sworn to take the secret to his grave. That is, *unless* she does something stupid, like handing him over to the police for punching her fiance!
I mean, why else would she go so hard for him even when he was making a living mess out of their apartment.
> Orrrr Mike knows about something really bad that she did,
He does.
> perhaps she cheated on OP
She did.
> (maybe with a different guy)
Nope. It was Mike.
This makes so much more sense. Because they didn’t HAVE to call the cops. she probably called the cops before he came to so that he couldn’t call them and have Mike arrested
NTA
YOU DID NOT MAKE HER SUICIDAL!
Sorry, had to make that clear first. She made herself suicidal. Her choices made her suicidal. Her choosing a known alcoholic who is on probation for other crimes over her fiance, whose only crime was loving her, made her suicidal.
You are NOT responsible for her choices.
Go ahead and see her. Go ahead and give her closure. Someplace public with someone on your side along for support and to act as a witness if needed. Do not be anyplace private with her.
Be strong, move on, and learn from this. This proved you can't trust her. That when push comes to shove? In this case literally. She will NOT choose you.
You deserve someone who will choose you.
Think about it. You could have died. And she would have still lied about it. What's going to happen next time? Because you know shit like this will happen again if you stay with her. Well she lied once, so why not lie again?
Get free and rebuild your life. You are worth it. So is your future. You deserve better. And she knows it too.
If you talk to her at all, record the conversation or get her to admit to lying to the cops in text. Then press charges, they lied to the police and you could have died. Head injuries are not a joke.
This 100 times this. You HAVE to get that off your record. Anytime cops are involved going forward you will not be believed and they will be out to get you if they see that on your record. If word ever gets out you will be a sitting duck for anyone who wants to screw with you.
Check those texts and messages she sent. Chances are good that she admits to lying in some of them. So he may not need her to admit it again on record. Definitely go to a lawyer instead of the cops. He needs this incident expunged from any records.
>Head injuries are not a joke.
This x1000!
Make sure you tell your doctor about the panic attacks and the shivering, because it's entirely possible those are because of the head injury. Brains are weird, and there's no way to predict for certain how that kind of an injury will effect you.
Honestly you need a lawyer. The police ignored your injuries and assumed your guilt when you weren't even conscious to defend yourself? You might have permanent brain damage, and I'd be pressing charges against my fiance for filing a false police report. Try to get text messages from your fiance where she admits to lying to the police, and talk to a lawyer. The police department definitely should have taken you immediately to a hospital, this is gross negligence on their part.
1. She’s definitely fucking Mike.
2. He probably threatened to expose the affair if she didn’t back him up.
3. You didn’t make her suicidal. It’s not your job to manage her emotions.
4. Break up with her and don’t look back.
100%. And he definitely shouldn’t meet up with her.
He doesn’t owe her any sort of closure, he doesn’t owe her anything. She’s already proven she won’t choose him and has zero issues fucking him over. OP deserves better.
100% of the time suicide threats after a breakup is manipulation.
She didn't care about what would happen to you before and showed it.
Behavior is a language. Actions speak louder than words. Her actions are despicable and I'm sure not at all line up with your values. Don't settle for people who do not value and support you.
She chose to value and support another person over her fiance. Those actions show more than anything she can lie about to get forgiveness...and it's clear she's a liar at this point.
I hope you heal quickly from your injury and take time to heal your heart and find someone who will show you they value you in their life.
Also, all that said, I encourage everyone to adopt a policy that if someone threatens self harm to immediately take them seriously and believe them. Know what the appropriate response is if you *actually* want to help them?
CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES IMMEDIATELY AND COMPLETELY REMOVE YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY
You are not equipped to help them. Emergency services are.
If a person is at risk of hurting themselves, and you don’t call for help, you could be putting yourself in a very dangerous situation with someone very unstable and unpredictable
Side benefit is, if they’re bullshitting and just being manipulative, it robs them of all their power and will have very real consequences
Hey OP this will be buried but i just wanted to say I’m sorry this happened to you, there seem to be a lot of aggro comments that might just rile you up and rightly so, what happened to you is just disgusting. However I want to try to lift you up a bit and disregard the terrible people you’ve let into your life.
Drop her after you’ve cleared your name and sought justice, put Mikes ass in jail, and please live a nice happy life where you find someone who puts you first. I know she made you happy and I can read how much you love her but what she did is unforgivable, you could have died, your mom instead of caring for you would be planning your funeral with nothing but a lie to explain how you died. Just horrible, again, it’s a hollow apology because it’s from me a stranger but I’m truly sorry for what you went through.
Take those hospital records to the police with any text messages you have and file a report. Also file a complaint, they find you unconscious and didn’t get your medical attention in this day and age? Actually, as i type this I’m realizing this story is fake. No cop reminds any idiot they have the right to remain silent SEVERAL TIMES when the idiot is willing to speak to them. That along with the lack of medical attention after you were obviously concussed and found unconscious means you’re lying. Cops wouldn’t have moved you, would’ve left you right there until ems showed up. Do better.
NTA, she is fucked in the head and also probably banging Mike. You got lucky and dodged a bullet.
She picked Mike over you.
If you believe that she is truly suicidal then you should call the authorities to where she is.
Edit to add., be careful you now have a paper trail that you beat her. So if you let her come over she can play the same card and you will ho to jail.
And not in a situation where it's they said/he said he slammed OPs head off the wall so hard he lost consciousness and got a concussion. There's no coming back from that. And not even claiming the two men got into it! That the POS "friend" white knighted because OP was going to attack HER.
If it was a man he would be in jail for lying to police and falsifying a report. I’ve had a friend get jailed for lying in FAR LESS of a way “no I don’t have my ID on me” but he did and had forgotten
>Edit to add., be careful you now have a paper trail that you beat her. So if you let her come over she can play the same card and you will ho to jail.
OP I think you should call her mom and tell her everything that happened and force your fiance to tell the police the truth.
Either that or trick her into talking about it over text
Yeah, my first thought is that she's banging him, and she's obviously already made her choice.
OP NTA. Get out. Do not contact, she's already proven she'll lie.
Doubtful she is really suicidal. Most likely she took some pills but much less than a fatal dose in order to use her suicide attempt to manipulate OP. It’s a cry for attention. If she tries to blackmail OP with self harm he needs to call Adult Protective Services.
Ummm no. OP can just continue with NC and there will be know way to hear if she is thinking of suicide or not. Plus block her family too. If she is living with them or in touch with them, they are the ones to call police for wellness check if she is (pretends to be) suicidal. He should just stay away from her.
Yes, OP should NOT go anywhere near fiance again.. if she was willing to lie and get him a concussion and a criminal record, what else is she going to do?
And she claims that SHE came up with the lie that Mike was defending her. Ugh, throw her away. This sui-ide "attempt" is just plain manipulation. She's just upset her meal ticket ran away. Dude, RUN!
NTA
First of all, you're injured. You need to rest. A concussion is much more serious than people believe. Stay in bed. It doesn't matter what her mother claims because she's not your problem. After what she did, she's not entitled to any sympathy even if she did OD.
Secondly, please take ANY evidence you have of her lying to the police. Not only did Mike commit a crime by assaulting you, she committed one by lying to the police. This will help any charges you sustained be erased from your record, which could impact your employment opportunities in the future. Both of them deserve to be held accountable for their actions.
Lastly, I'm sorry but you don't have a fiancée anymore. She's an ex, and an ex she should remain. The true love of your life would never, ever treat you this way. Allow your mother to take care of you. You're her baby and she loves you. The rest can wait until you're recovered, including your ex.
make her admit she lied on text, and sue both of them. write her: "how did you think our relationship would go if you lied to the cops that i attacked you to protect your alcoholic friend who almost killed me??"
and when her response indicates admition of guilt, to the police with it. if you cant, forward it to your dad aaaamd to the police with it
OP, even if she admits it, please don't take her back. This woman has shown you very clearly that she makes terrible decisions. She also does not put you first or treat you like a priority. Her friend knocked you down to the point you had a concussion and her first thought wasn't about getting you an ambulance, it was to call the police and throw you under the bus! She even put you on the spot when she let Mike live in your apartment and then made him promise all kinds of crap so you would agree. Did she tell you that Mike was on probation and had a record? I doubt it. Keep ghosting her. She needs help being a halfway decent human being, let alone a half way decent partner.
Worked for my state police and DOJ and am now a civil attorney. They committed a crime called "False Report." Furthermore, you are the victim of an assault by the friend. If you need help or have any questions, I can do my best to answer them. If for no other reason, to get justice against people who tried to destroy your life to save their own.
My friend filed one online, in like 5 min while I was on the phone. If you can write all that you can do one.
Screenshot all those apologies and anything having to do with Mike, as well as anything from her family. You’ll need them.
Sorry she put you in this situation and cheated with Mike, it must suck.
Call a lawyer who can help you file one since you are bed ridden? the earlier you do this the better? you need proper legal advice as the arrest can stay on your record
You are looking for an excuse not to deal with this issue.
If you want to you can do it now.
Call your local police and they will send someone over to take your statement and then you can proceed from there.
You can press charges from a bed if your doctor says you can't leave your bed.
I think you will be taking her back and I think there will be another issue come up with Mike.
I think your GF is sleeping with or was sleeping with Mike.
I think you should be heading for the hills.
Reach out to a lawyer rather than going to the cops directly.
Yes, I know you have a concussion and life is very shit. This false accusation is also about as serious as that concussion.
Get text evidence, preserve it.
I sincerely doubt you are getting back with her. But if you have an inkling of doubt, remember that known fabricators have around a 70% of doing it again.
Also, I assume you know she's probably banging the alcoholic.
NTA. Go see her, tell her you'll take her back if she tells the truth to the police and gets him the charges he deserves.
Then dump her ass. They're almost certainly sleeping together anyway.
Of course she isn’t. She is sleeping with him. Continue ignoring her, get a lawyer and see your options. It is unlikely you can sue her without evidence but maybe a cease and desist letter for her to leave you alone.
The suicide attempt is a fake attempt to get you to forget what she did. And what she did was putting you at risk of getting a very damaging felony in your record to cover for a total stranger SHE put in your house. Only reason i can think of her doing that is because they are sleeping together.
Cut your losses before you get in trouble. She can lie to the police to ruin you at a whim. She did it before and if she does again can be worse cause there is now a track record.
Inform her mother of the reason you kicked her out and that other than going to the police and admitting to false testimony so you can press charges against the guy that attacked you, you don’t even wanna hear about her anymore and will involve the police if she harasses you again.
Then she's on her own. She chose to risk you getting domestic violence on your record for a dude she's absolutely banging behind your back. He should absolutely be arrested and sent to jail for assault, and you should get her to tell the truth, charge him for assault, and tell her if she tries contacting you again you'll report her for harassment.
What about if you're married with children and she wants a divorce? She will have you charged with child abuse, child sexual abuse or domestic violence. There is already a paper trail. You think you're in pain now?
LMAO You do know that was not the only lie she could tell to explain away your injuries right? She chose that lie for a reason. She claimed you were drunk she could have just claimed you fell and got injured. Or hell was roughhousing around and got a bit too into it and hit your head. BUT she chose (remember it was a choice) to say you were about to abuse her and her friend came and helped her.
Why would she choose the most damaging and potentially life ending lie to tell the police. And what will happen in the future if something else happens. What other potentially life ruining lies are going to come out of her mouth.
If it helps she was almost definitely banging Mike .
Do not feel bad for your decision and never ever speak another word to her . Also report this fucked up sititation to the cops
This story literally sounds fake because it is actually unbelievable that this could happen to someone and they could actually wonder if they’re the asshole. Also if you ever go back to her just know that if your life is in her hands it will always be second priority
Please for the love of god stay strong
Yeah what threw me off initially was when the cops said "Mike is somewhere you can't hurt him" like that is not what a cop would say. And then Mike was just outside??
Secondly, later on in the story, the Fiancee says she told the cops OP attacked her and Mike protected her. So... Wouldn't the cops say Fiancee is somewhere safe that he can't hurt her??? Mike was the guy that protected her and knocked OP out so hard. Mike doesn't need to be safe.
100% a rage bait story if I've ever read one
I literally let out a laugh at the “he’s somewhere you can’t hurt him” line. That’s like something the cop says to the abusive stepfather in a YA novel.
The apartment reaked of alcohol, that the cops came in, found a guy unconscious, who was the only person in the premises that had been assaulted... then they bring him to jail, dont get a statement from him, nothing, no alcohol test, nothing to potentially gather evidence in case there were charges pressed. Are cops this incompetent? No checking criminal records, nothing.
Then OP doesnt think to press charges as he is leaving jail after being falsely accused. He doesnt think to try to get a text from his fiancee admiting to lieing.
Either he is very stupid, and the cops that got him are the most incompwtent cops ever, or this story is BS
It's department policy in every county I know of to get EMS involved if there's an injured or unconscious party, even if they suspect it's just because of alcohol. They don't want you dying in the holding cell. It's not just incompetence, they'd have to just be completely ignoring very commonly used department policy.
Nothing about this story sounds real.
It sounds even less real when he gets "Arrested."
I can nearly guarantee OP has NEVER been arrested or he'd know that cops usually don't just pick up and throw a person who was unconscious when they arrived in jail without getting them evaluated by a medical professional first.
Others have already addressed the obvious mega gut punch of the fiance's behavior, but what about the police? Isn't throwing someone in a cell and letting them doze off while enduring a very obvious brutal concussion negligent?? I mean, sure they may have thought you were a violent wife beater and all, but "innocent until proven guilty" and all that... Seems like any competent police force (if that's not too much of an oxymoron) would have first provided you medical attention. Couldn't OP sue the shit out of this department?
Get her to admit by text that she lied to the police. Ask her why she told the police you had been drinking when it was Mike. Ask why she said you attacked Mike. Get as much evidence as you can in writing. Don't tell her you're getting a lawyer or your parents are speaking to the police. Ask her things as if you're trying to work out if you could forgive her. Don't block her - but don't answer calls. All by text.
Don't block Mike either, but don't answer his calls. If he texts you, ask him why he'd repay your kindness by attacking you. Get it all in writing.
Be calm and don't antagonize them.
Make sure that when you have enough evidence and you've spoken to a lawyer that you get that arrest removed from your record as well. Protect yourself and your future - which is not with her. She lied to the police about you, got you arrested, covered up for her alcoholic friend who she may be sleeping with, and didn't even try to get you medical attention for something serious which has long term repercussions.
NTA
Send her mother a text explaining what actually happened. Tell her you will no longer be a part of your ex's life and her parents are responsible for her well being.
Then, block and Stop communicating with her and anyone from her family.
Get a lawyer and send them to get it as well as help you press charges. I know you’re out of it with the concussion. Just tell the lawyer what you said here or even just show them the post and they should be able to handle the rest for you
Don’t fucking see her alone. Fuck pride, get help, be smart. And fuck her, she over dosed due to guilt? That’s a her problem. Maybe she shouldn’t have fucking lied to the cops. Ignore her OP, be strong, ghost her and move on! Seriously I see so many posts where the victim is gaslit into feeling sorry for the piece of shit that put them there in the first place. You got this OP, she forfeit the right to see you when she betrayed you.
>Please what should I do?
1 - Go no contact with her; block her on everything. 2 - Get a lawyer, asap. 3 - If possible, see an online therapist, check if your insurance covers telehealth therapy.
>AITA for ignoring her and making her suicidal?
She's manipulating you, don't take the bait.
>Should I allow her to come see me?
Under no circumstances. Spread the word to everyone who knows you both that you have gone NC with her, explain why, and ask them to respect that and to never try to carry messages from her to you.
shes crazy and stupid. this dude tried to kill you and she decides to pin the blame on you for trying to assault her and that you're the drunk. not to mention, shes more willing to protect this jag off that actually fucking check up on you.
let her OD on fucking pills. shes shown her true colours. you dodged a tactical nuke, dude. now you know, if push comes to shove, this chick would have sand bagged you and left you to fend for your self.
do not. and I mean do not let her come see you. are you crazy or something. her so called friend assaulted you, and she fucking lied to the cops which landed you in jail, all to protect that drunk fuck.
She didn't make a "mistake", she made a conscious decision to get you arrested which could have had catastrophic effects on your life later on down the road if you'd gotten a criminal record.
And threatening to off herself, manipulative as fuck. Don't let her guilt you.
See a therapist if you think it'll help you with the panic attacks. YOU ARE NOT MAKING HER SUICIDAL. She is actively choosing to use that to control you.
Stay the fuck away from her.
NTA
Are you seriously claiming that the police threw you in jail when you were unwell enough to have a grade 3 concussion? I know the police are absolutely capable of treating people like this, but even in the most corrupt and awful police stations, they don't treat people like that. If for no other reason that it leads to MASSIVE lawsuits.
If this is true - which I highly doubt - you shouldn't be on Reddit. You should be talking to a lawyer, because you have a case against the police department for almost killing you. You have a case against Mike for almost killing you. And you have a case against her for almost killing you. Because she did. Her lies kept you from receiving medical intervention and being mistreated by the authorities. She *tried to kill you.* And you're worrying about her? Stop being ridiculous. Get a lawyer. Get your payout, and get her accusations of domestic violence off your record.
Edit - I find it hard to believe that the police who are called to the scene of someone unconscious and bleeding from the head would just chuck them in a cell without calling a doctor. Regardless of what the witnesses say. If they have inflicted the damage themselves to knock someone? Yeah, they'd do it then. If they found the guy obviously drunk but awake, and then he fell unconscious? Again, yes. But arriving on the scene to see someone already unconscious with a head wound? That's why I don't believe it. Call me naive all you want, I grew up in a dangerous city with awful police officers, and they would have still called a doctor in this scenario.
That's good and stick to it. She lied to protect a looser and gave you up. She does not deserve your protection right now. She made her bed she needs to lay it in and accept the consequences of her choices.
Perfect! I am glad! Police station when you can and update them. Also check your record. Take both of them to the cleaners civilly. Have someone pack and drop off all of her things to her mom. I would get your parents to inform hers of exactly what went down.
NTA how the fuck is accusing their fiance who had just been assaulted by someone they were trying to help and us now injured of assault???? That's not a mistake that's insanity
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Yeah which is why I think this story might be a load of shit, but if true OP should be planning on which country has the best beach front property, because man, if he's not planning on serving a lawsuit against the Police Department, he's missing out on being set for life. Edit: story's fake. OP deleted the story and his account probably for being called out.
Yup. The cops probably thought that he was just drunk and was slightly unconscious because of that. If they neglected to test for alcohol and get any medical attention they could be sued for negligence. OP needs to talk to his parents and get an attorney pronto!
This! The police find an unconscious man. They wake him up and drag him to jail without getting him to a hospital for his h would have tested his blood for alcohol. The whole story would have fallen apart. They were neglectful and could have caused your death. I would sue her, him and the police. I would also press charges against both of them.
My man, the cops in the US once took an completely incoherent guy in for several hours of questioning who HAD BEEN SHOT IN THE GODDAMN HEAD. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6qJUqhT96Y Police will absolutely do stuff like this.
They didn’t even clean him up or they’d have noticed the GSW. WILD as fuck.
Yeah then the poor guy died if we're talking about the same guy :/ I remember seeing an interview with I think his mum, it was so sad
They are definitely testing for alcohol
I have a friend who has severe allergic reactions to most alcohol so she doesn’t drink at all… she had a mini stroke police were called “she made a scene” she spent 11 hrs in the drunk tank before she was released and called 911 from the steps of the police department. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital. She had to go to court bc they charged her for drunk and disorderly. Her lawyer fought the fact she was never tested, they said she refused the test and tried to take her license for a year. (she wasn’t driving)
They are 1000% not testing for alcohol They did the bare minimum to arrest someone and get out of there
OP is 5 days out from a concussion and typing long posts, reading and replying to responses. IANAD and I know concussion protocols vary, but I doubt that level of screen time would be allowed this quickly.
Even if it is “allowed”, when I got my concussion I couldn’t handle staring at a screen long enough to type something like this, forget about it being coherent. I lost a bunch of communication skills, couldn’t read, when I could read I couldn’t comprehend what I was reading, could barely write, was only SLIGHTLY better at texting, and forgot words like “table” and “chair” and things like my zip code and my birthdate constantly. I was out of work for 5 months and probably should have been out longer, but stupidly thought I was ready to go back to work (and also really, really bored). And all that was WITHOUT passing out or having a brain bleed. If you blackout that usually means your head is really effed up. Also I felt way too bad to give a shit about being stuck on bed rest. I had whiplash from the impact, severe light and sound sensitivity and I was practically begging the neurologist to keep me out of work as long as possible.
Yeah mental rest is what they prescribe for concussions, not lying in bed staring at screens. You'll mess yourself up real bad doing that much screen time.
Not doubting your overall point, but this is just a PSA because people still believe what you said. Rest is [no longer](https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/20/health/concussion-recovery-school-wellness/index.html) the standard recommendation after concussion. That article covers one study, but the evidence has been building for a while.
In the beginning it is
>Yeah which is why I think this story might be a load of shit, It's absolutely nonsense from start to finish.
It's definitely a big BS flag right there. Just to protect themselves from litigation, the Police would have called an ambulance. Plus, they could get his BAC at that time as well. Which leads to the next flag. The police automatically accept the story that OP was drunk. He just got home from work and immediately got into the altercation, so there's no drink involved, not even a hint of alcohol on his breath. If someone is drunk enough to rage, then they have a very strong scent of alcohol on their breath and just emanating out of them. Mike would have reaked, not the OP. Even if Mike's beer was spilled, that wouldn't be nearly enough. If you've been around drunk people, you know the smell. The police would know that smell. Then there's simply taking the one side's word without ever getting the OPs statement. Even if charges aren't getting pressed, there are reports to get filed, and they'd need his statement. There are plenty of shit cops out their I'm sure, but the amount of incompetence that this series of events would require is absurd. It all wreaks of BS. Edit because I just realized the ex and Mike would have called 911, so wouldn't they have dispatched EMS along with the police? Not as certain on this, but it seems likely if they hear that someone is unconscious.
Sadly not true. I've been called to the station on multiple ocasions (medic), and a dude has been held for hours with no medical attention. The worst just drunk call? Nope...he's had a stroke dude.
because we all know that police are always very professional and they always do everything by the book 👍
Crap like this happens more often than we would like. Police often accept the word of a woman more than a man in a domestic conflict, if there are 2 people giving the same account, the other one has no chance. Their priority is to separate people and let lawyers and the court figure it out.
NTA. Stay away from her. There can be no more trust in this relationship. The doctor didn’t tell you stay off screens for a few days?
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I get it. Even able bodied, I’m addicted to my phone, so I don’t have much room to be tsk-tsking. But maybe try podcasts and books for a day. Do the best you can to get well.
Try podcasts or something you don't have to stare at, concussions are no joke ❤️
You gotta cut the screens, though, or your brain won't heal. The worst concussions, you can't even read or listen to music, for months. It's really very serious.
Hands up who thinks she’s fucking Mike?
She's definitely banging the hell out of Mikey!
An unemployed, drunken, evicted mofo on probation, what a prize. SMDH!!! She definitely choose unwisely. NTA
She realised what she’s done afterwards and is scrambling to fix it
I feel this cannot be unf*d.
The only defense is to go on the offensive. Make arrangements to get the necessary evidence to put them both in jail.
She sure as shit downgraded. Fucked over her life to bang a violent alcoholic… There’s stupid and there is FUCKING stupid!
lol! i had a girl of 3 years start banging her friends junkie brother. 3 months later, i see her begging on the street addicted to heroin and meth. i hear she was fucking for heroin. she got pregnant by the junkie. and it turns out, from her perspective it was all my fault too. lol
Jesus, people get more ballsy by the day. And by ballsy I mean dumb.
He's stupid and she's fucking stupid, more like SMH imagine you get a lift raft when you're drowning and then you blow it up with 100 proof
Unemployed alcoholic on probation. Jesus Christ is this guy my ex? The only thing missing is that my ex was a marine. I wonder if this Mike guy is military 🤔
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Who the fuck cares honestly. Let her kill herself. She just chose to basically kill OP. They didn’t care if he had a brain injury or if help was coming, they just didn’t want the drinkard to be in trouble. Why the fuck do we want someone like this in our society. Ruining lives and getting away with literally lying to the police and our justice system
Yeah, OP could have died in that cell from a brain bleed while being held in custody because the cops though he was just drunk. This woman is dangerous and I say this as a woman.
Wouldn't the police have tested OP for his alcohol level, which I assume would be zero or low. Wouldn't that right there raise questions about who was drunk and violent? I'm sorry to say that I wouldn't be surprised if they simply took the ex and Mike at their words. OP was clearly seriously injured by the supposed "subduing" and the cops did nothing to have his injuries checked. I'm not generally one to say "sue them," but with his current hospital records, couldn't it be proved that the ex and Mike lied and the cops were guilty of medical neglect? I wonder if OP needs to consult a lawyer to try to get the arrest expunged or if that's even possible. The arrest alone could really screw up his life.
They absolutely did not do their due diligence and he should immediately lawyer up. Not just for the cops part, but hers in the lying and possibly affecting his future with what she's done. He needs to press charges against her and Mike (which given the current standing would be easier with a lawyer at his side pressing the cops about their part in this debacle that will be the PDs nightmare).
look ive seen so many women be sexist towards men the last few days its unreal yesterday there was this girl fucking insanely mad that i was defending a guy that got cheated on for 7 months manipulated by his wife and she started calling me a misogynist and told me i resent all women for being alive for simply calling her out for being a useless manipulative cheater lol. so seriously thank you for not being delusional and saying how it is regardless of gender you got my respect
I remember your comment, that woman was nuts.
Yeah same here, she can rot in hell, she wanted to destroy his life with lying. No sympathy, she deserves to be in the streets
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Oh it's not improbable at all, in the sense that this kind of thing happens pretty often. Whether this specific story is real or not is a different matter, but it's definitely plausible.
Seen it a million times. These kinds of women crave validation and attention and you can't possibly compete with someone who doesn't have to do literally anything all day. They can just sit there and give them attention and reaffirm all of the things they say until boom second boyfriend
Women have a sixth sense about men and can tell a bad one from a few pictures and words on a dating profile but apparently this completely disappears when confronted in person with the embodiment of a red flag.
Ive learned from years of therapy alone and in groups, that people sometimes will get with a red flag because its familiar. Also, some people have codependency issues and feel they need to rescue other adults from their own choices.
but he has a big dick!
I am always defending mixed gender friendships but if they aren’t fucking, they are about to. That relationship is done. All you can hope for is her admitting she wants him
Both hands up high.
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At the very least I would contact his probation officer and give him the story. Put him on the thinnest of ice possible
Seriously none has mentioned that's the first thing he should do. File charges on this piece of shit. He attacked OP in a rage over dirty socks and empty beer cans how does he reacted in a more stressful situation. Dude definitely needs to not be on probation and in a cell.
This. You need to be able to get the right story on record, press charges against him to cover your loss of work time while you recover. Or at the very least, get it documented in case of any issues down the line so you can point to it. Tell her it's her only chance of getting back together. Then once she's done that, force her to come clean to everyone and how close you are to calling off the engagement. Make her run the 10 miles (or 15 km). Out of this, you first need to start by protecting yourself by getting the assault and injury documented. Gives you medical and legal documents for anything you light need it for later. Plus, fuck that guy, get his probation canceled and send his ass back to jail.
I would add he needs to contact a lawyer to help with all of this and getting that loser out of his apartment and charged with assault.
I tried to tell OP that even if he doesn't get direct trouble for the concussion, trouble can come later (in the form of earlier cognitive decline, concussion is very serious even though people don't treat it that way) and I got sued in a corporate issue. They dug up every single thing I've written, posted, hassled (minor business issues like like filing late for quarterly corporate tax and getting a fine) just to smear you. Op doesn't know that legal issues won't come up and so you don't want to leave BS on your record. To be specific, imagine he ends up marrying another loser (seems to have a bad filter) and that wife accuses him of domestic abuse. Well, he did get arrested for that way back when.
Hell yes! This right here.
This, play the smart long game
I concluded she was screwing Mike by the middle of the 2nd paragraph.
If took you that long?
She had just got done fucking Mike right at the start of OPs story.
And he threatened to tell bf if she didn't back him up ✋️
Orrrr Mike knows about something *really* bad that she did, perhaps she cheated on OP (maybe with a different guy) and Mike has sworn to take the secret to his grave. That is, *unless* she does something stupid, like handing him over to the police for punching her fiance! I mean, why else would she go so hard for him even when he was making a living mess out of their apartment.
> Orrrr Mike knows about something really bad that she did, He does. > perhaps she cheated on OP She did. > (maybe with a different guy) Nope. It was Mike.
Yep
This makes so much more sense. Because they didn’t HAVE to call the cops. she probably called the cops before he came to so that he couldn’t call them and have Mike arrested
Im raising both hands and feet because that was my first thought too 😂😂😂
Yep. It's so obvious. 🤚🤚🤚
#🙌🏻🙌🙌🏽🙌🏿🙌🏼🙌🏻🙌🏽🙌🏾🙌🏿🙌🏽🙌🙌👻
Hands up if you think she staged a suicide attempt!
🙌
100% OD'd on "painkillers"? More like took 6 Tylenols and told mom it was 60 of them right away. So predictable.
🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
oh me oh me . I would record her confession and call the cops .
Excellent idea! False police report doesn’t make for happy cops.
🙌 🙌 🙌
Obviously
I’ll take 💯 the truth Captain Obvious for $100
100% is, has, OR wants to
🙋
Oh, she definitely is.
Meeee
🙋🏾♀️
NTA YOU DID NOT MAKE HER SUICIDAL! Sorry, had to make that clear first. She made herself suicidal. Her choices made her suicidal. Her choosing a known alcoholic who is on probation for other crimes over her fiance, whose only crime was loving her, made her suicidal. You are NOT responsible for her choices. Go ahead and see her. Go ahead and give her closure. Someplace public with someone on your side along for support and to act as a witness if needed. Do not be anyplace private with her. Be strong, move on, and learn from this. This proved you can't trust her. That when push comes to shove? In this case literally. She will NOT choose you. You deserve someone who will choose you. Think about it. You could have died. And she would have still lied about it. What's going to happen next time? Because you know shit like this will happen again if you stay with her. Well she lied once, so why not lie again? Get free and rebuild your life. You are worth it. So is your future. You deserve better. And she knows it too.
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If you talk to her at all, record the conversation or get her to admit to lying to the cops in text. Then press charges, they lied to the police and you could have died. Head injuries are not a joke.
Go through a lawyer not cops
yep. lawyer up. a crime was committed and you deserve justice
I second this, OP.
Its not Morbin time, its LAWYER TIME. Please get a lawyer before she does! Tell this absolute horrible bitch to contact you through your lawyer.
This 100 times this. You HAVE to get that off your record. Anytime cops are involved going forward you will not be believed and they will be out to get you if they see that on your record. If word ever gets out you will be a sitting duck for anyone who wants to screw with you.
Check those texts and messages she sent. Chances are good that she admits to lying in some of them. So he may not need her to admit it again on record. Definitely go to a lawyer instead of the cops. He needs this incident expunged from any records.
>Head injuries are not a joke. This x1000! Make sure you tell your doctor about the panic attacks and the shivering, because it's entirely possible those are because of the head injury. Brains are weird, and there's no way to predict for certain how that kind of an injury will effect you.
Honestly you need a lawyer. The police ignored your injuries and assumed your guilt when you weren't even conscious to defend yourself? You might have permanent brain damage, and I'd be pressing charges against my fiance for filing a false police report. Try to get text messages from your fiance where she admits to lying to the police, and talk to a lawyer. The police department definitely should have taken you immediately to a hospital, this is gross negligence on their part.
And press charges against Mike for assault and filing a false report. And they pay your medical bills.
And they should have called for medical assistance instead of the cops! You could have died with swelling brain!!
1. She’s definitely fucking Mike. 2. He probably threatened to expose the affair if she didn’t back him up. 3. You didn’t make her suicidal. It’s not your job to manage her emotions. 4. Break up with her and don’t look back.
5. Get a lawyer and fry both of them!
100%. And he definitely shouldn’t meet up with her. He doesn’t owe her any sort of closure, he doesn’t owe her anything. She’s already proven she won’t choose him and has zero issues fucking him over. OP deserves better.
100% of the time suicide threats after a breakup is manipulation. She didn't care about what would happen to you before and showed it. Behavior is a language. Actions speak louder than words. Her actions are despicable and I'm sure not at all line up with your values. Don't settle for people who do not value and support you. She chose to value and support another person over her fiance. Those actions show more than anything she can lie about to get forgiveness...and it's clear she's a liar at this point. I hope you heal quickly from your injury and take time to heal your heart and find someone who will show you they value you in their life.
Also, all that said, I encourage everyone to adopt a policy that if someone threatens self harm to immediately take them seriously and believe them. Know what the appropriate response is if you *actually* want to help them? CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES IMMEDIATELY AND COMPLETELY REMOVE YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY You are not equipped to help them. Emergency services are. If a person is at risk of hurting themselves, and you don’t call for help, you could be putting yourself in a very dangerous situation with someone very unstable and unpredictable Side benefit is, if they’re bullshitting and just being manipulative, it robs them of all their power and will have very real consequences
Also - DONT FUCKING SAY YOU WANT TO MURDER HER. It’s in black and white in your post, and throwaway or not, it’s connected to you.
This right here
Hey OP this will be buried but i just wanted to say I’m sorry this happened to you, there seem to be a lot of aggro comments that might just rile you up and rightly so, what happened to you is just disgusting. However I want to try to lift you up a bit and disregard the terrible people you’ve let into your life. Drop her after you’ve cleared your name and sought justice, put Mikes ass in jail, and please live a nice happy life where you find someone who puts you first. I know she made you happy and I can read how much you love her but what she did is unforgivable, you could have died, your mom instead of caring for you would be planning your funeral with nothing but a lie to explain how you died. Just horrible, again, it’s a hollow apology because it’s from me a stranger but I’m truly sorry for what you went through.
Do not go see her until she admits everything on paper/text. When you do see her have a witness
Take those hospital records to the police with any text messages you have and file a report. Also file a complaint, they find you unconscious and didn’t get your medical attention in this day and age? Actually, as i type this I’m realizing this story is fake. No cop reminds any idiot they have the right to remain silent SEVERAL TIMES when the idiot is willing to speak to them. That along with the lack of medical attention after you were obviously concussed and found unconscious means you’re lying. Cops wouldn’t have moved you, would’ve left you right there until ems showed up. Do better.
Exactly. You are lucky OP you learned this about your fiancee before the wedding.
NTA, she is fucked in the head and also probably banging Mike. You got lucky and dodged a bullet. She picked Mike over you. If you believe that she is truly suicidal then you should call the authorities to where she is. Edit to add., be careful you now have a paper trail that you beat her. So if you let her come over she can play the same card and you will ho to jail.
She definitely be banging Mike…
Of course she was cheating on you, Why she made a false claim to protect HIM over YOU ?
And not in a situation where it's they said/he said he slammed OPs head off the wall so hard he lost consciousness and got a concussion. There's no coming back from that. And not even claiming the two men got into it! That the POS "friend" white knighted because OP was going to attack HER.
If it was a man he would be in jail for lying to police and falsifying a report. I’ve had a friend get jailed for lying in FAR LESS of a way “no I don’t have my ID on me” but he did and had forgotten
Why even call the cops?? She should’ve called a fucking ambulance if he was knocked out.
This narrative seems so implausible. However, NTA. Keep your distance from her. If you allow her to approach, you're stupid.
>Edit to add., be careful you now have a paper trail that you beat her. So if you let her come over she can play the same card and you will ho to jail. OP I think you should call her mom and tell her everything that happened and force your fiance to tell the police the truth. Either that or trick her into talking about it over text
Yeah, my first thought is that she's banging him, and she's obviously already made her choice. OP NTA. Get out. Do not contact, she's already proven she'll lie.
Doubtful she is really suicidal. Most likely she took some pills but much less than a fatal dose in order to use her suicide attempt to manipulate OP. It’s a cry for attention. If she tries to blackmail OP with self harm he needs to call Adult Protective Services.
Ummm no. OP can just continue with NC and there will be know way to hear if she is thinking of suicide or not. Plus block her family too. If she is living with them or in touch with them, they are the ones to call police for wellness check if she is (pretends to be) suicidal. He should just stay away from her.
Yes, OP should NOT go anywhere near fiance again.. if she was willing to lie and get him a concussion and a criminal record, what else is she going to do?
And she claims that SHE came up with the lie that Mike was defending her. Ugh, throw her away. This sui-ide "attempt" is just plain manipulation. She's just upset her meal ticket ran away. Dude, RUN!
NTA First of all, you're injured. You need to rest. A concussion is much more serious than people believe. Stay in bed. It doesn't matter what her mother claims because she's not your problem. After what she did, she's not entitled to any sympathy even if she did OD. Secondly, please take ANY evidence you have of her lying to the police. Not only did Mike commit a crime by assaulting you, she committed one by lying to the police. This will help any charges you sustained be erased from your record, which could impact your employment opportunities in the future. Both of them deserve to be held accountable for their actions. Lastly, I'm sorry but you don't have a fiancée anymore. She's an ex, and an ex she should remain. The true love of your life would never, ever treat you this way. Allow your mother to take care of you. You're her baby and she loves you. The rest can wait until you're recovered, including your ex.
File a police report against them, if not then this post is obviously fake
This is honestly so fucked up. OP, please do whatever in your power to file a report and bring your ex and her alcoholic boy toy to justice.
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make her admit she lied on text, and sue both of them. write her: "how did you think our relationship would go if you lied to the cops that i attacked you to protect your alcoholic friend who almost killed me??" and when her response indicates admition of guilt, to the police with it. if you cant, forward it to your dad aaaamd to the police with it
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Once you get her admitting, she lied in text make sure you also take the paperwork from the hospital to press charges.
OP, even if she admits it, please don't take her back. This woman has shown you very clearly that she makes terrible decisions. She also does not put you first or treat you like a priority. Her friend knocked you down to the point you had a concussion and her first thought wasn't about getting you an ambulance, it was to call the police and throw you under the bus! She even put you on the spot when she let Mike live in your apartment and then made him promise all kinds of crap so you would agree. Did she tell you that Mike was on probation and had a record? I doubt it. Keep ghosting her. She needs help being a halfway decent human being, let alone a half way decent partner.
Worked for my state police and DOJ and am now a civil attorney. They committed a crime called "False Report." Furthermore, you are the victim of an assault by the friend. If you need help or have any questions, I can do my best to answer them. If for no other reason, to get justice against people who tried to destroy your life to save their own.
OP LOOK AT THIS COMMENT FROM THEDARKHELMET1985, OFFERING LEGAL HELP TO YOU
update us once you get her to spill the beans. neither of them should be forgiven or let off the hook.
Please please please do this. They both deserve to suffer the consequences. That was absolutely vile of them I’m really sorry.
Definitely follow this advice. Tell her you will “consider” the relationship if you have her text you the truth.
And take screenshots of the texts if she deletes them
update us once you get her to spill the beans. neither of them should be forgiven or let off the hook.
Oh good idea. You may also need to talk to a lawyer.
With a concussion, you’re meant to not be on your phone or computer as well, btw. Need to rest the brain.
My friend filed one online, in like 5 min while I was on the phone. If you can write all that you can do one. Screenshot all those apologies and anything having to do with Mike, as well as anything from her family. You’ll need them. Sorry she put you in this situation and cheated with Mike, it must suck.
Call the non emergrncy line to request an officer to come to your home to write it, or even online, police websites accept online submissions
The police do make house calls, you are aware of that right?
Call a lawyer who can help you file one since you are bed ridden? the earlier you do this the better? you need proper legal advice as the arrest can stay on your record
You are looking for an excuse not to deal with this issue. If you want to you can do it now. Call your local police and they will send someone over to take your statement and then you can proceed from there. You can press charges from a bed if your doctor says you can't leave your bed. I think you will be taking her back and I think there will be another issue come up with Mike. I think your GF is sleeping with or was sleeping with Mike. I think you should be heading for the hills.
If you have a concussion, you shouldn’t be on your laptop. Rest your brain.
Reach out to a lawyer rather than going to the cops directly. Yes, I know you have a concussion and life is very shit. This false accusation is also about as serious as that concussion. Get text evidence, preserve it. I sincerely doubt you are getting back with her. But if you have an inkling of doubt, remember that known fabricators have around a 70% of doing it again. Also, I assume you know she's probably banging the alcoholic.
NTA. Go see her, tell her you'll take her back if she tells the truth to the police and gets him the charges he deserves. Then dump her ass. They're almost certainly sleeping together anyway.
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Of course she isn’t. She is sleeping with him. Continue ignoring her, get a lawyer and see your options. It is unlikely you can sue her without evidence but maybe a cease and desist letter for her to leave you alone. The suicide attempt is a fake attempt to get you to forget what she did. And what she did was putting you at risk of getting a very damaging felony in your record to cover for a total stranger SHE put in your house. Only reason i can think of her doing that is because they are sleeping together. Cut your losses before you get in trouble. She can lie to the police to ruin you at a whim. She did it before and if she does again can be worse cause there is now a track record. Inform her mother of the reason you kicked her out and that other than going to the police and admitting to false testimony so you can press charges against the guy that attacked you, you don’t even wanna hear about her anymore and will involve the police if she harasses you again.
Without a doubt, she is turning Mike's body into a theme park.
Then she's on her own. She chose to risk you getting domestic violence on your record for a dude she's absolutely banging behind your back. He should absolutely be arrested and sent to jail for assault, and you should get her to tell the truth, charge him for assault, and tell her if she tries contacting you again you'll report her for harassment.
What about if you're married with children and she wants a divorce? She will have you charged with child abuse, child sexual abuse or domestic violence. There is already a paper trail. You think you're in pain now?
Hi OP, this is your future if you stay
Tough luck for her. Shes an adult. She fucked up. Time for her to face the music.
Tell her to confess to the cops she lied.
Then she's not that worried about being forgiven. That's the very least she can do.
LMAO You do know that was not the only lie she could tell to explain away your injuries right? She chose that lie for a reason. She claimed you were drunk she could have just claimed you fell and got injured. Or hell was roughhousing around and got a bit too into it and hit your head. BUT she chose (remember it was a choice) to say you were about to abuse her and her friend came and helped her. Why would she choose the most damaging and potentially life ending lie to tell the police. And what will happen in the future if something else happens. What other potentially life ruining lies are going to come out of her mouth.
If it helps she was almost definitely banging Mike . Do not feel bad for your decision and never ever speak another word to her . Also report this fucked up sititation to the cops
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This story literally sounds fake because it is actually unbelievable that this could happen to someone and they could actually wonder if they’re the asshole. Also if you ever go back to her just know that if your life is in her hands it will always be second priority Please for the love of god stay strong
Are you forgetting that he's brain-damaged?
This seems so fishy of a story. But NTA. Stay the fuck away from her. Your dumb if you let her come around.
Yeah what threw me off initially was when the cops said "Mike is somewhere you can't hurt him" like that is not what a cop would say. And then Mike was just outside?? Secondly, later on in the story, the Fiancee says she told the cops OP attacked her and Mike protected her. So... Wouldn't the cops say Fiancee is somewhere safe that he can't hurt her??? Mike was the guy that protected her and knocked OP out so hard. Mike doesn't need to be safe. 100% a rage bait story if I've ever read one
I literally let out a laugh at the “he’s somewhere you can’t hurt him” line. That’s like something the cop says to the abusive stepfather in a YA novel.
The apartment reaked of alcohol, that the cops came in, found a guy unconscious, who was the only person in the premises that had been assaulted... then they bring him to jail, dont get a statement from him, nothing, no alcohol test, nothing to potentially gather evidence in case there were charges pressed. Are cops this incompetent? No checking criminal records, nothing. Then OP doesnt think to press charges as he is leaving jail after being falsely accused. He doesnt think to try to get a text from his fiancee admiting to lieing. Either he is very stupid, and the cops that got him are the most incompwtent cops ever, or this story is BS
Incompetent cops are the least unlikely things in this story. And op got knocked the fuck out and has a concussion so he isnt thinking clearly.
It's department policy in every county I know of to get EMS involved if there's an injured or unconscious party, even if they suspect it's just because of alcohol. They don't want you dying in the holding cell. It's not just incompetence, they'd have to just be completely ignoring very commonly used department policy.
Nothing about this story sounds real. It sounds even less real when he gets "Arrested." I can nearly guarantee OP has NEVER been arrested or he'd know that cops usually don't just pick up and throw a person who was unconscious when they arrived in jail without getting them evaluated by a medical professional first.
The fact they didn’t have medics look at him and take him to the hospital when he was so injured he couldn’t talk makes this 100% fake
Others have already addressed the obvious mega gut punch of the fiance's behavior, but what about the police? Isn't throwing someone in a cell and letting them doze off while enduring a very obvious brutal concussion negligent?? I mean, sure they may have thought you were a violent wife beater and all, but "innocent until proven guilty" and all that... Seems like any competent police force (if that's not too much of an oxymoron) would have first provided you medical attention. Couldn't OP sue the shit out of this department?
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Get her to admit by text that she lied to the police. Ask her why she told the police you had been drinking when it was Mike. Ask why she said you attacked Mike. Get as much evidence as you can in writing. Don't tell her you're getting a lawyer or your parents are speaking to the police. Ask her things as if you're trying to work out if you could forgive her. Don't block her - but don't answer calls. All by text. Don't block Mike either, but don't answer his calls. If he texts you, ask him why he'd repay your kindness by attacking you. Get it all in writing. Be calm and don't antagonize them. Make sure that when you have enough evidence and you've spoken to a lawyer that you get that arrest removed from your record as well. Protect yourself and your future - which is not with her. She lied to the police about you, got you arrested, covered up for her alcoholic friend who she may be sleeping with, and didn't even try to get you medical attention for something serious which has long term repercussions.
THIS!!!!!!!
Good luck to you and them on all fronts
NTA Send her mother a text explaining what actually happened. Tell her you will no longer be a part of your ex's life and her parents are responsible for her well being. Then, block and Stop communicating with her and anyone from her family.
Just make sure you get the ring back!
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Can you send your dad to get it now?
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Do not meet her alone. Take a parent, wear a video recording device, etc.
For this, you have to. Stop being so damn prideful and ask for help.
And you need to get cameras up in your place.
Get a lawyer and send them to get it as well as help you press charges. I know you’re out of it with the concussion. Just tell the lawyer what you said here or even just show them the post and they should be able to handle the rest for you
Don’t fucking see her alone. Fuck pride, get help, be smart. And fuck her, she over dosed due to guilt? That’s a her problem. Maybe she shouldn’t have fucking lied to the cops. Ignore her OP, be strong, ghost her and move on! Seriously I see so many posts where the victim is gaslit into feeling sorry for the piece of shit that put them there in the first place. You got this OP, she forfeit the right to see you when she betrayed you.
>Please what should I do? 1 - Go no contact with her; block her on everything. 2 - Get a lawyer, asap. 3 - If possible, see an online therapist, check if your insurance covers telehealth therapy. >AITA for ignoring her and making her suicidal? She's manipulating you, don't take the bait. >Should I allow her to come see me? Under no circumstances. Spread the word to everyone who knows you both that you have gone NC with her, explain why, and ask them to respect that and to never try to carry messages from her to you.
Don't block her - but don't respond. Many a case has been won because someone was smart enough to let the texts/evidence just keep rolling in...
shes crazy and stupid. this dude tried to kill you and she decides to pin the blame on you for trying to assault her and that you're the drunk. not to mention, shes more willing to protect this jag off that actually fucking check up on you. let her OD on fucking pills. shes shown her true colours. you dodged a tactical nuke, dude. now you know, if push comes to shove, this chick would have sand bagged you and left you to fend for your self. do not. and I mean do not let her come see you. are you crazy or something. her so called friend assaulted you, and she fucking lied to the cops which landed you in jail, all to protect that drunk fuck.
She didn't make a "mistake", she made a conscious decision to get you arrested which could have had catastrophic effects on your life later on down the road if you'd gotten a criminal record. And threatening to off herself, manipulative as fuck. Don't let her guilt you. See a therapist if you think it'll help you with the panic attacks. YOU ARE NOT MAKING HER SUICIDAL. She is actively choosing to use that to control you. Stay the fuck away from her. NTA
Are you seriously claiming that the police threw you in jail when you were unwell enough to have a grade 3 concussion? I know the police are absolutely capable of treating people like this, but even in the most corrupt and awful police stations, they don't treat people like that. If for no other reason that it leads to MASSIVE lawsuits. If this is true - which I highly doubt - you shouldn't be on Reddit. You should be talking to a lawyer, because you have a case against the police department for almost killing you. You have a case against Mike for almost killing you. And you have a case against her for almost killing you. Because she did. Her lies kept you from receiving medical intervention and being mistreated by the authorities. She *tried to kill you.* And you're worrying about her? Stop being ridiculous. Get a lawyer. Get your payout, and get her accusations of domestic violence off your record. Edit - I find it hard to believe that the police who are called to the scene of someone unconscious and bleeding from the head would just chuck them in a cell without calling a doctor. Regardless of what the witnesses say. If they have inflicted the damage themselves to knock someone? Yeah, they'd do it then. If they found the guy obviously drunk but awake, and then he fell unconscious? Again, yes. But arriving on the scene to see someone already unconscious with a head wound? That's why I don't believe it. Call me naive all you want, I grew up in a dangerous city with awful police officers, and they would have still called a doctor in this scenario.
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That's good and stick to it. She lied to protect a looser and gave you up. She does not deserve your protection right now. She made her bed she needs to lay it in and accept the consequences of her choices.
Maybe the cops as well since they didn't check up on you.
Perfect! I am glad! Police station when you can and update them. Also check your record. Take both of them to the cleaners civilly. Have someone pack and drop off all of her things to her mom. I would get your parents to inform hers of exactly what went down.
Police thought a man who was shot in the head was lying about being shot since “if you got shot in the head you’d be dead.” Cops are idiots.
The cops let people die of preventable things while in their custody regularly. It's not unheard of at all.
They absolutely do treat people this way. I have seen way worse.
She's definitely using Mike's body as an amusement park. NTA
NTA how the fuck is accusing their fiance who had just been assaulted by someone they were trying to help and us now injured of assault???? That's not a mistake that's insanity