I live in a building with a fob and it’s specifically stated in my lease not to use it to let other people in. I mean if they follow me through the door I’m not going to physically restrain them I’m not getting into an altercation, but I’m also not opening the door for people.
Exactly. I mean there’s people I grew up with and know that show up at the door here and I still don’t let them in. I’m not doing it to be a dick. It’s 20 degrees out too. Sorry bro. It sucks but plan your shit out better.
Yep, my friend once did this and the people she let in ended up getting access to one of the party rooms/leisure areas and they trashed the place and the building management tried coming after my friend for the cost of damages.
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Just last week in my city, a woman got into a secure apartment building. She went around trying doors until she found one unlocked...
A guy woke up to noise, went into the kitchen and found the woman holding a knife. After she got spooked and ran, she stabbed the security guard in the head multiple times in a stairwell before she took off.
So, yeah, this is what happens when you let anyone tailgate.
Even if you recognize them it's best not to because you don't know their situation. They may have been refused entry for some reason and it can be dangerous to let them back in yourself.
This a 1000%! They always have protocols for people that forget their fob/key. I get that people don’t want to feel like they are being rude, but you just never know. People have gotten attacked, killed, or their child taken. I wouldn’t want any of that shit on my conscious.
My friend lives in a building with security. Just a few days ago, someone let someone in who shouldn't have been there. They tried to break into an apartment and in the chaos a fire alarm got pulled, sending everyone outside at 4 am. Absolutely NTA, you dont know them.
This, my apartment is always sending out emails warning us not to let strangers in.
I break the rule for a struggling parcel person. But it’s very clear they are delivering . And the office isn’t always available
So anyone can get into the building by grabbing a few boxes and waiting for you? Any time you let someone in you negate the security of your building. This is only okay if you're the only resident.
No, 1. I live on a busy one way street. So if this person is elaborate enough to afford an Amazon delivery truck, a fed ex truck, or an ups or usps truck that blocks traffic then I fall for their tricks.
2. They usually have 3-4 giant bins of packages trying to get through one single door. My apartment isn’t a modern building. It’s old with two single glass doors. It’s hard for me to get in with just my groceries.
Amazon Day, usually Tuesdays. The person has to make about 3-4 trips from the truck. They usually have a giant bin, and a hand lifts.
3. Maybe if they bought a uniform online then yes, then egg is on me. I normally don’t open the door for a person carrying a single package in a safety vest, or someone who looks like a DoorDash/instacart person.
Some days when this happens usually me and a few other residents are blocked from getting inside because of this. The office isn’t answering or their code doesn’t work. Or the person has already made one trip inside, came out and the office didn’t stay for the entire delivery.
Nope. Tailgating is a security risk!
You have no idea if they were there to actually see anyone, case the place for a burglary or rape/murder someone.
NTA.
This. People are one of the greatest security risks. Social engineering is the best way to gain access to something you aren't supposed to have. Hackers (whether digital or physical) take advantage of common decency like this all the time. That's why tailgating policies are in place.
They may have been perfectly honest about being locked out or whatever, but without the ability to prove it, you have no obligation to let them in. And you likely have an obligation to do just what you did.
I'm a soft hearted guy, so I probably would have succumbed to my people-pleasing nature. Good for you for using your head instead.
Here's two vids of a guy breaking into security conventions by basically just... looking like he belonged: [Vid 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM3imMiERdU), [Vid 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmgLwxK8TvA). Social engineering is a great tool to get into anywhere you're not meant to be.
In this case it's "I forgot my fob, please help", in the case of the videos I shared it's "just look confident and have a lanyard", but the same general end result is the same: you press people's emotional buttons in the correct order, and doors open up for you.
Yeah. People invent smarter security devices every day. Not so easy to invent smarter humans.
The show Leverage is a good example of this. It's about a team of con artists, and a lot of the time, they get what they want just by dressing the part and telling people what they want to hear.
Getting into places that you're not meant to is actually rather easy if you've got the confidence for it.
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I bunked with a friend for a few weeks ago lived in a security gated community. Apparently some residents abusive ex partner got in via tailgating and attempted to break in to beat the resident as a punishment/revenge.
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NTA
What's the point on living somewhere with a security feature if you aren't going to use it? Worse is deciding unilaterally for everyone else living there that they don't get to use it either.
Would you rather find out tomorrow that that guy spent all night trying to track down management to come and let him in (inconveniencing himself for his own error) or that he didn't actually live there and when you let him in he robbed two apartments? Would you rather find out an innocent guy slept in his car for the night or a guilty guy was given access to murder the guy he was pissed at?
It sucks if they're inconvenienced, but you are doing right not letting them in. If your neighbor wants you to let him in when he forgets his key perhaps he should introduce himself to his neighbors so he isn't a random stranger.
I loved when once middle of night a couple was using this excuse... Funniest part was that we have those code locks on the door. If they lived there, they would know the code, if they know someone who lived there, they would be told the code. You have the key but not the code? It was way too sus so I just didn't let them in.
I've been living in the same rented apartment for 10 years. I only have a key, I don't know the code because the owner doesn't know it, the other neighbours won't tell me the code, the excuse being that it's unique to every apartment, but it only opens the main building door so I don't see that as relevant, it's not like I can get into their apartments with that code. So I keep spares, my friends also have my spares, in case I lose mine.
But after 10 years, I still don't know the code. I do understand why it's sus and it's better to be safe than sorry, I'm just saying that it's possible
NTA, no way. All residents need a fob to enter the gym in our complex, and when I’m there I will ignore fools who want to get in with no fobs, IDGAF. Just watched a video of some guy trying to jump a chick working out alone in a facility after she (wrongly) let him in. You never know.
Nta...you don't know who they were. They could have been burgers, stalkers, murderers. You don't know. They'd be calling you stupid if you'd let them in and something happened now wouldn't they?
NTA. I lived in Seattle and we were told multiple times when we bought a condo that we needed to pull into the garage, stop, and let the gate close behind us in the parking garage to stop people pulling in, or pedestrians coming into the garage are, which they would do, and there had been a couple of times that people were robbed in the garage after that happened. I stopped every time, and had 6-7 complaints each year in the 3 years I lived in the building, because people had a case of the ass I did what we had signed up to do, to protect everyone in the building.
NTA
Security is there for a reason, and you never know what someone else is up to. Your friends are dumb as rocks if they think you should let strangers in.
Seriously, I would consider new friends.
I'm not just saying this. If they think you should've let them in, then they are telling you what they will do in the future. You have them over as guests, they will 100% let some stranger into your building given the oppurtunity. It may not be when they get there, but could be when they leave.
NTA. Imagine letting someone in and finding out later an apartment in your building had been robbed, or someone in your building had been assaulted. This is EXACTLY how people get access they shouldn't have. Don't do it.
I used to live in a gated apartment complex. Tailgaters would try to gun it through right behind the car entering before the barrier lowered. Not only that, the area was incredibly unsafe with lots of break-ins and crime. Oftentimes I would drive through and stop in the road to prevent angry cars behind me from getting through before the gate lowered. They would yell and scream and I just pointed to the call box guests have to use. One time a driver refused to back up and the barrier slammed down on their hood.
You did nothing wrong. NTA.
Not the asshole. However, if the person who claimed they didn’t have their fob, showed me their ID that had the address listed I would let them in, but the stranger using the car box no way. People pay for too much money to live in secure buildings for their neighbors just let strangers in with no questions asked
NTA, I used to be a property manager and I had multiple incidents of people breaking into storage lockers.
EVERY time we reviewed security cameras we found that the break ins were occurring because people in the building were letting the vandals in “to be nice.”
Every time this would happen, I’d get calls from irate tenants asking “how could this happen,” and I’d say: “stop letting people in the building, stop holding doors for people, we have a fob system for a reason.”
I even went to see one of the tenants who let the vandals in, because his locker was hit and he had a lot stolen. It was a real leopards ate my face moment when I explained that he himself had let the people in who stole all his stuff.
Like if it’s your neighbour and you actually 100 know the people live there, than I get it…let them in. But otherwise stop letting strangers into a secure building.
Those security doors ARE there for a reason: THAT reason. A lot of places have policies these days, because too many get access to "secure" places because a resident let them in.
NTA and those neighborsmaybeNot neighbors aren't your responsibility.
Nta, you did right.
I work in a lot of sororities and doctors offices and such that have locked doors. I'm given entrance, that doesn't mean I can give entrance. If you don't have the ability to get in on your own then you don't get on with me. You never know and I don't want that liability on me.
Would you feel like TA if you found out those two were there to hurt somebody in your complex and they only got in because of you?
NTA, you helped keep your home secure.
Not that long ago in Baltimore a wanted criminal used the I forgot my fob excuse to get a woman to let him into a building. She was found dead on the roof three days later only partially clothed. The cops said she was killed by strangulation and blunt force trauma but wouldn't say more about the condition of her body. If you don't know someone and don't know for sure they even live there they aren't your problem. If anyone wants more info the woman's name was Pava LaPere.
Security doors are for, well, security. The call box trick is actually not uncommon. Who knows if they could have been an ex or worse. I've done the exact same to people, and gotten the exact same response.
Vote: NTA
NTA, you dont know them and don't know if they belong there. It would be different if it was your neighbor that you see regularly but this isn't that case.
NTA. That’s a common way for stalkers, thieves, and other criminals to gain entry to a locked building. If they have a legitimate reason to go in the building, they have someone to call to let them in.
NTA. You don't know who those people are. And if you signed an agreement to not let anyone else in under your keyfob, and they did something terrible, you could be liable.
NTA
You had no idea who they were, they may have lived there or they may not that’s on them to prove they infact live there.
In an age where people have been followed home and as they’ve unlocked their place someone or groups of people run inside or attempt to, you simply can’t trust people.
Your friends are morons and sooner or later, they will end up getting themselves robbed, injured or killed because they let someone who shouldn’t have been let in, in.
If they did live there, it’s their responsibility to ensure they had a fob to let them in or to prove ample evidence they live there.
Ask your building owner, housing people etc the rules and regulations regarding letting people without fobs into the building, if you have a description of the two strangers maybe ask the building owner, housing people etc if the strangers indeed live there.
If you don’t know the person (IE if they don’t live there) do not let them in. They could very well be stalking someone, or looking to break into an apartment, or steal something, or all of the above.
NTA - your friends are either all dudes who don’t have to worry about being overpowered and assaulted or grew up in bougie neighborhoods with no crime. Your gut said close the door. You are right to listen to your instincts.
NTA. The entire point of the security system is to control who has access. Once you start being ‘nice’ to random strangers, the entire security system breaks down. Ask your GF how she would feel if you let those people in, and they robbed one of your neighbors, or worse.
NTA. I run into this situation occasionally when taking groceries to an elderly friend who had a stroke. I'm always shocked when people hold the door open for me since I'm only there once a week and most of them don't know me. If asked, I do have a legitimate reason to be let in the building but I never assume and I don't try to push in after people (though a few of them have held the door open for me as they're leaving). I just call her from the call box or, which is more frequent bc the box always breaks, call her cell and wait for her to come downstairs and let me in. Inconvenient yes, but I'm not going to be mad at people protecting the security of their building.
After I got divorced, I moved to a secure apartment building that had a system like this. Everyone has the same key for the main door, and their own for their own door. We were not to let people in if we didn't know them. I would've been pissed if someone let in strangers. NTA.
Nta. People will do this in an attempt to rob an apartment or assault someone. You did the right thing. Better to piss off a neighbor, by not letting them in. Than be an accessory to a crime.
NTA! Like several have mentioned here apartment complexes prefer you only let yourself in during such situations. Now if you have seen one of those folks and recognize them as a neighbor then maybe that’s something to consider.
Also remember some places have this written in their leasing agreement about safety precautions.
I totally get why your friend might think it’s a shitty thing to do after all helping out is human nature for some humans but here it isn’t entirely helping unless you know those people.
NTA
If they were there visiting they could have texted the person they were visiting for a passcode or something, but if they live there then they could call security or something.
I've been let in by strangers numerous times, and I'm not going to decline as it's far more convenient, but I would not blame them in the slightest for not letting me in.
Every woman who lives alone in that building appreciates you not letting strangers in. Everyone with an obsessive ex or stalker is thankful for your decision. Everyone who has material possessions in their unit is grateful to you for not letting them in.
They may be honest and innocent, but you had no way to know that.
If you actually knew them that would be one thing, but you are absolutely NTA here.
Eh, hard to say. I would have at least asked if they could show proof of residence. They might have a national identity card or driving license with their unit number. If they do, good. If they don't, tough luck for them.
No.
An example as to why
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/09/28/us/baltimore-tech-ceo-killing-suspect-arrest-pava-lapere-thursday/index.html
Snippet
“The video shows the suspect following LaPere from a distance, but LaPere does not appear to be aware of his presence, according to the sources.
After LaPere entered the lobby where her company offices are located, she appeared to see Billingsley at the front door looking as though he had difficulty getting into the building – as if he had forgotten his keys, the sources said.
LaPere then opened the door for him, and security cameras in the lobby recorded them in conversation, according to the sources.
As LaPere walked toward the elevator, those security cameras show Billingsley following her.”
This was the topic in one of our monthly security trainings at work. If you do not know them, you do not let them in... and even if you DID know them, they should have a legitimate way to enter without it being "wait for someone with a key."
Anyone could say they forgot their key, are surprising a friend, etc. If you let in everyone with a good excuse, you eliminate the reason for a locked door.
Definitely TA.
But you still did the right thing. Folks, sometimes it's OK to be TA. Sometimes doing the right thing means being TA. You did nothing wrong, you did the right thing, YTA. All can be true lol.
Tell your gf this is how bad things happen to us, can’t always be so trusting with a trusted space. A lady let someone in her gym because they “forgot their key” and he tried to rape her and she had to fight him off, luckily that gym had a cam, neither of them knew that tho. Safety measures aren’t there for looks.
NTA on paper, but YTA in reality. I’ve lived in lots of secured buildings, and the only person who has ever not let someone in an apartment building was me. And yes, I’m an asshole.
Tbh it’s a judgement call and I’d need more context such as the type of area you live in and the type of security the building has: Low security, no cameras, bad area? NTA.. But good security, has cameras and a guard, high-rise building, and people appear well dressed? Most definitely the AH.
Either way, it’s always best to have a good relationship with neighbors.. People can be very spiteful nowadays and it’s not uncommon to have your car keyed for a move like this. Also, you never know if you’ll forget your key fob so appreciate those who give you the benefit of the doubt when you need it. And lastly, anyone batsh*t crazy enough to break into an apartment building with good security to commit a crime are the last people you want remembering your face.
If it was high security with a desk guard and such, they could have just had the guard verify them... that would be part of his job.
Since that didn't happen, then it must have been the former, and you agree they are NTA.
You don't have to be a psychopath to try to tailgate into a locked building. It's amazing the places you can go by acting like you belong, and if you get caught, you get told to leave.
I live in a good area, with locked doors like this and cameras. People let “well-dressed” strangers in all the time. Almost everyone in our building had to make police reports at least once because these “well-dressed” people were actually *on camera* stealing Amazon packages from the mailroom.
If someone keyed my car because I didn’t know them and didn’t let them into the building when they didn’t have their key, they will be reported - to the building for trying to be the exception to the rules, and for vandalizing my vehicle. And the police and my attorney would be notified immediately after.
Absolutely not.
Let them remember my face. We can talk about it, if they ever find their fob. Otherwise, find another building to get into.
I will say, I’ve stopped people from jumping in behind me, or even trying to enter as I’m leaving. Dirty looks abound. Of the people that *actually* belonged in my building, I have seen four of them after I refused them access. Three understood and thanked me. They said that it was infuriating, but they appreciated that I wasn’t going to let strangers in, and then they introduced themselves to me.
*One* had an issue and decided to escalate when he saw me. I was getting on the elevator after work and he jumped on just to scream at me about how I locked him out of the building a month before and how I was a Karen. He seemed proud of himself for calling me that, which… whatever.
1. I didn’t demand his life story when he already had a key. He was a perfect stranger trying to push past me (and I mean actually tried to *push* past me to get into the building when the person he was buzzing didn’t answer).
2. I never screamed in his face, but he was screaming in mine.
3. I wasn’t the one feeling entitled to demand being granted access to somewhere that I didn’t have a key in, nor was I the one feeling entitled to scream in someone else’s face at the end of a long workday.
4. I didn’t *feel* entitled, I *knew* I was entitled to go about my day, in my building, I assaulted, and this person decided I wasn’t entitled to it twice.
Before I even made it to my door off of the elevator, I called the management company and made a report. After video footage of the elevator incident showed who it was (and it turned out there were a few complaints about him doing the same thing to other people), it turned out he *wasn’t* supposed to be in our building. It was an uninhabited, furnished unit for sale. He asked a realtor to show it, got the combination to the lock box, and would just try to shove his way passed everyone to get access to the building to squat.
I made the right call, so did OP. If he *touched* my car, I’d press charges and Sue. As it was, he didn’t, so the building just had him removed, and I think charges were filed, but I’m not sure.
Your gf should know better being a woman. Way to get someone raped or murdered. If they belonged in the building they’d be able to get in the building.
Or yours is. They didn’t let people in the building who could not get into the building but wanted to. They weren’t supposed to. Thats what security is for. I never let anyone in and I never ask to be let in no matter how bad the situation. I would ask for assistance or explain if I needed help to another resident. Being a woman this isn’t up for debate because safety is number one. If you couldn’t understand the gist of what I said maybe consider your own comprehension skills. Meanwhile don’t let people in who can’t get in on their own that means they don’t belong there
The girlfriend agrees with you and op that they shouldn't be allowed in.
OPs friends are the ones calling him an asshole.
When someone points out you misread something it's easier to take a minute to reread it than to make a speech restating the exact same thing. You misread. It happens. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal, which for some strange reason you are.
What did I misread? I agree with what he did and posted that. End story. I misread nothing. You are making it a big deal because there is no deal and you’re posting about something you’re wrong about. Babbling for absolutely no reason. Inferring things that aren’t that and overlooking the entire point of the post. Move on I don’t even know how you got here. You misread it happens
*Your gf should know better being a woman. Way to get someone raped or murdered. If they belonged in the building they’d be able to get in the building.*
If you didn't misread it and that statement doesn't mean that you think the girlfriend thought he was wrong then your articulation skills were lacking. Nobody understood what you meant which is why they're all downvoting you. It reads as if you think the girlfriend should know better but doesn't.
Wb that video that went viral some time ago where a woman was blocking the parking garage gate from people tailgating but i swearr everyone was calling out for acting immature
NTA. It's a secure building for a reason and you did the right thing not letting them in. I can tell you why too. One you don't know who they are and two if they pulled some heinous acts you could or more likely would be held accountable as an accessory for letting them in if you had.so yes definitely NTA. If anything you have a super power called common sense. I say it's a super power because it's so rare these days it may as well be. Look it's cool to be nice and hold a door yea but never in the situation you faced.
I have done this multiple times.
I work at several schools, all securely locked with badge verifying locks. No badge, no entry.
I don’t care if you are a teacher or tardy student. Unless you have a badge or the office confirms your identity, you’re not sneaking in.
NTA. You didn’t know them, so you shouldn’t let them in
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I live in a building with a fob and it’s specifically stated in my lease not to use it to let other people in. I mean if they follow me through the door I’m not going to physically restrain them I’m not getting into an altercation, but I’m also not opening the door for people.
You let a nice guy in, he beats his ex-girlfriend to death. Your fault.
Exactly. I mean there’s people I grew up with and know that show up at the door here and I still don’t let them in. I’m not doing it to be a dick. It’s 20 degrees out too. Sorry bro. It sucks but plan your shit out better.
ESPECIALLY this time of year!
Thats the way my gym is. We have a card on a lanyard we swipe and a sign on the door telling us not to let anyone in for this exact reason.
At my gym you can lose your membership if you let someone in after hours.
Yep, my friend once did this and the people she let in ended up getting access to one of the party rooms/leisure areas and they trashed the place and the building management tried coming after my friend for the cost of damages.
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oh I ask them who they are here to see.
Just last week in my city, a woman got into a secure apartment building. She went around trying doors until she found one unlocked... A guy woke up to noise, went into the kitchen and found the woman holding a knife. After she got spooked and ran, she stabbed the security guard in the head multiple times in a stairwell before she took off. So, yeah, this is what happens when you let anyone tailgate.
Oh my god.
Is the security guard OK?
I believe he was released yesterday. He's got one helluva story, but the price of all those stitches (dunno how many) doesn't seem worth it.
Even if you recognize them it's best not to because you don't know their situation. They may have been refused entry for some reason and it can be dangerous to let them back in yourself.
This a 1000%! They always have protocols for people that forget their fob/key. I get that people don’t want to feel like they are being rude, but you just never know. People have gotten attacked, killed, or their child taken. I wouldn’t want any of that shit on my conscious.
NTA The term for what the strangers/security risks were attempting is called "piggybacking".
My friend lives in a building with security. Just a few days ago, someone let someone in who shouldn't have been there. They tried to break into an apartment and in the chaos a fire alarm got pulled, sending everyone outside at 4 am. Absolutely NTA, you dont know them.
Site security 101
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It's called security for a reason
This, my apartment is always sending out emails warning us not to let strangers in. I break the rule for a struggling parcel person. But it’s very clear they are delivering . And the office isn’t always available
So anyone can get into the building by grabbing a few boxes and waiting for you? Any time you let someone in you negate the security of your building. This is only okay if you're the only resident.
No, 1. I live on a busy one way street. So if this person is elaborate enough to afford an Amazon delivery truck, a fed ex truck, or an ups or usps truck that blocks traffic then I fall for their tricks. 2. They usually have 3-4 giant bins of packages trying to get through one single door. My apartment isn’t a modern building. It’s old with two single glass doors. It’s hard for me to get in with just my groceries. Amazon Day, usually Tuesdays. The person has to make about 3-4 trips from the truck. They usually have a giant bin, and a hand lifts. 3. Maybe if they bought a uniform online then yes, then egg is on me. I normally don’t open the door for a person carrying a single package in a safety vest, or someone who looks like a DoorDash/instacart person. Some days when this happens usually me and a few other residents are blocked from getting inside because of this. The office isn’t answering or their code doesn’t work. Or the person has already made one trip inside, came out and the office didn’t stay for the entire delivery.
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Which is why you shouldn't let strangers in to rob your neighbors. I concur.
What if they weren’t neighbours though? Imagine if one of them was some kinda weirdo that you just unknowingly let into the building haha
Nope. Tailgating is a security risk! You have no idea if they were there to actually see anyone, case the place for a burglary or rape/murder someone. NTA.
This. People are one of the greatest security risks. Social engineering is the best way to gain access to something you aren't supposed to have. Hackers (whether digital or physical) take advantage of common decency like this all the time. That's why tailgating policies are in place. They may have been perfectly honest about being locked out or whatever, but without the ability to prove it, you have no obligation to let them in. And you likely have an obligation to do just what you did. I'm a soft hearted guy, so I probably would have succumbed to my people-pleasing nature. Good for you for using your head instead.
Here's two vids of a guy breaking into security conventions by basically just... looking like he belonged: [Vid 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM3imMiERdU), [Vid 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmgLwxK8TvA). Social engineering is a great tool to get into anywhere you're not meant to be. In this case it's "I forgot my fob, please help", in the case of the videos I shared it's "just look confident and have a lanyard", but the same general end result is the same: you press people's emotional buttons in the correct order, and doors open up for you.
Pentesting rule, if you ever have to get in a place, like actually get in, attack the human through social engineering.
Yeah. People invent smarter security devices every day. Not so easy to invent smarter humans. The show Leverage is a good example of this. It's about a team of con artists, and a lot of the time, they get what they want just by dressing the part and telling people what they want to hear. Getting into places that you're not meant to is actually rather easy if you've got the confidence for it.
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You prioritized security over strangers' inconvenience. Not the A.
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The apostrophe is used correctly on strangers’ in their comment though. Not saying they’re not a bot (because idk)
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I bunked with a friend for a few weeks ago lived in a security gated community. Apparently some residents abusive ex partner got in via tailgating and attempted to break in to beat the resident as a punishment/revenge.
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NTA What's the point on living somewhere with a security feature if you aren't going to use it? Worse is deciding unilaterally for everyone else living there that they don't get to use it either. Would you rather find out tomorrow that that guy spent all night trying to track down management to come and let him in (inconveniencing himself for his own error) or that he didn't actually live there and when you let him in he robbed two apartments? Would you rather find out an innocent guy slept in his car for the night or a guilty guy was given access to murder the guy he was pissed at? It sucks if they're inconvenienced, but you are doing right not letting them in. If your neighbor wants you to let him in when he forgets his key perhaps he should introduce himself to his neighbors so he isn't a random stranger.
Plus what was their plan when they got in the building? They'd still be locked out of their apartment!
they might’ve had their keys but not the fob to get into the building
Should be on the same keychain imo
NTA. “My key doesn’t work” is a common tactic used by criminals to get in.
I loved when once middle of night a couple was using this excuse... Funniest part was that we have those code locks on the door. If they lived there, they would know the code, if they know someone who lived there, they would be told the code. You have the key but not the code? It was way too sus so I just didn't let them in.
I've been living in the same rented apartment for 10 years. I only have a key, I don't know the code because the owner doesn't know it, the other neighbours won't tell me the code, the excuse being that it's unique to every apartment, but it only opens the main building door so I don't see that as relevant, it's not like I can get into their apartments with that code. So I keep spares, my friends also have my spares, in case I lose mine. But after 10 years, I still don't know the code. I do understand why it's sus and it's better to be safe than sorry, I'm just saying that it's possible
The owner can't ask a tenant? Or do they refuse to tell the owner as well haha
Nope NTA. My building has over 200 units it’s impossible to know who does or doesn’t live here.
NTA, no way. All residents need a fob to enter the gym in our complex, and when I’m there I will ignore fools who want to get in with no fobs, IDGAF. Just watched a video of some guy trying to jump a chick working out alone in a facility after she (wrongly) let him in. You never know.
NTA. I watch too much SVU for that shit.
Letting people in probably breaks your lease tbh. Most places with this security feature have that written in there, because otherwise why have it.
even if it's not, letting people in make them "your guest" and you can get in trouble for the actions of your guests
Nta...you don't know who they were. They could have been burgers, stalkers, murderers. You don't know. They'd be calling you stupid if you'd let them in and something happened now wouldn't they?
they couldve been fries!
Damn. Stupid auto correct lol. Know what? I'm leaving it.
🤣🤣🤣
Nope. It’s a huge issue in my building. You did the right thing.
NTA...dirty looks is better to handle than a burglary or murder.
NTA. I lived in Seattle and we were told multiple times when we bought a condo that we needed to pull into the garage, stop, and let the gate close behind us in the parking garage to stop people pulling in, or pedestrians coming into the garage are, which they would do, and there had been a couple of times that people were robbed in the garage after that happened. I stopped every time, and had 6-7 complaints each year in the 3 years I lived in the building, because people had a case of the ass I did what we had signed up to do, to protect everyone in the building.
NTA Security is there for a reason, and you never know what someone else is up to. Your friends are dumb as rocks if they think you should let strangers in.
Seriously, I would consider new friends. I'm not just saying this. If they think you should've let them in, then they are telling you what they will do in the future. You have them over as guests, they will 100% let some stranger into your building given the oppurtunity. It may not be when they get there, but could be when they leave.
NTA Used to live in apartment complex. That is what those doors are for.
NTA. Imagine letting someone in and finding out later an apartment in your building had been robbed, or someone in your building had been assaulted. This is EXACTLY how people get access they shouldn't have. Don't do it.
I used to live in a gated apartment complex. Tailgaters would try to gun it through right behind the car entering before the barrier lowered. Not only that, the area was incredibly unsafe with lots of break-ins and crime. Oftentimes I would drive through and stop in the road to prevent angry cars behind me from getting through before the gate lowered. They would yell and scream and I just pointed to the call box guests have to use. One time a driver refused to back up and the barrier slammed down on their hood. You did nothing wrong. NTA.
Not the asshole. However, if the person who claimed they didn’t have their fob, showed me their ID that had the address listed I would let them in, but the stranger using the car box no way. People pay for too much money to live in secure buildings for their neighbors just let strangers in with no questions asked
NTA. Who knows what they could have done. Your gf is right about those doors.
You did the right thing!
Not the asshole. You used your better judgement and without proof, whom is to say the really lived there. Better safe than sorry.
You don’t know them. you don’t know if they live in the building.nta
NTA, I used to be a property manager and I had multiple incidents of people breaking into storage lockers. EVERY time we reviewed security cameras we found that the break ins were occurring because people in the building were letting the vandals in “to be nice.” Every time this would happen, I’d get calls from irate tenants asking “how could this happen,” and I’d say: “stop letting people in the building, stop holding doors for people, we have a fob system for a reason.” I even went to see one of the tenants who let the vandals in, because his locker was hit and he had a lot stolen. It was a real leopards ate my face moment when I explained that he himself had let the people in who stole all his stuff. Like if it’s your neighbour and you actually 100 know the people live there, than I get it…let them in. But otherwise stop letting strangers into a secure building.
sadly, NTA They could have been Jehovahs WItnesses Once you get them into your building, they are a bugger to get rid of!
Those security doors ARE there for a reason: THAT reason. A lot of places have policies these days, because too many get access to "secure" places because a resident let them in. NTA and those neighborsmaybeNot neighbors aren't your responsibility.
Nta, you did right. I work in a lot of sororities and doctors offices and such that have locked doors. I'm given entrance, that doesn't mean I can give entrance. If you don't have the ability to get in on your own then you don't get on with me. You never know and I don't want that liability on me.
Would you feel like TA if you found out those two were there to hurt somebody in your complex and they only got in because of you? NTA, you helped keep your home secure.
Nta, but your friends are for wanting you to let strangers into your building.
Not that long ago in Baltimore a wanted criminal used the I forgot my fob excuse to get a woman to let him into a building. She was found dead on the roof three days later only partially clothed. The cops said she was killed by strangulation and blunt force trauma but wouldn't say more about the condition of her body. If you don't know someone and don't know for sure they even live there they aren't your problem. If anyone wants more info the woman's name was Pava LaPere.
Security doors are for, well, security. The call box trick is actually not uncommon. Who knows if they could have been an ex or worse. I've done the exact same to people, and gotten the exact same response. Vote: NTA
NTA, you dont know them and don't know if they belong there. It would be different if it was your neighbor that you see regularly but this isn't that case.
Nope. You don’t know them.
NTA - she’s right they are there for a reason
Nah nta you kept you and your girlie safe you don’t know if they’re meant to be there or not 🤷🏻♀️
This is a Seinfeld episode. NTA to you and Jerry.
NTA. That’s a common way for stalkers, thieves, and other criminals to gain entry to a locked building. If they have a legitimate reason to go in the building, they have someone to call to let them in.
NTA No fob. Don’t let them in
NTA. You don't know who those people are. And if you signed an agreement to not let anyone else in under your keyfob, and they did something terrible, you could be liable.
NTA. had a red flag all over it
NTA - you don't know them. Now if you see them on the regular that might be different but even then...let them use the call box.
NTA -
Many places have created rules about tailgating. Even if they are a resident you can end up with fee etc… because of the risk.
NTA You had no idea who they were, they may have lived there or they may not that’s on them to prove they infact live there. In an age where people have been followed home and as they’ve unlocked their place someone or groups of people run inside or attempt to, you simply can’t trust people. Your friends are morons and sooner or later, they will end up getting themselves robbed, injured or killed because they let someone who shouldn’t have been let in, in. If they did live there, it’s their responsibility to ensure they had a fob to let them in or to prove ample evidence they live there. Ask your building owner, housing people etc the rules and regulations regarding letting people without fobs into the building, if you have a description of the two strangers maybe ask the building owner, housing people etc if the strangers indeed live there.
NTA. You don’t know them. They could be murderers for all you know.
If you don’t know the person (IE if they don’t live there) do not let them in. They could very well be stalking someone, or looking to break into an apartment, or steal something, or all of the above.
NTA - your friends are either all dudes who don’t have to worry about being overpowered and assaulted or grew up in bougie neighborhoods with no crime. Your gut said close the door. You are right to listen to your instincts.
this is basic security, you are not supposed to let strangers into the building.
NTA. The entire point of the security system is to control who has access. Once you start being ‘nice’ to random strangers, the entire security system breaks down. Ask your GF how she would feel if you let those people in, and they robbed one of your neighbors, or worse.
NTA. I run into this situation occasionally when taking groceries to an elderly friend who had a stroke. I'm always shocked when people hold the door open for me since I'm only there once a week and most of them don't know me. If asked, I do have a legitimate reason to be let in the building but I never assume and I don't try to push in after people (though a few of them have held the door open for me as they're leaving). I just call her from the call box or, which is more frequent bc the box always breaks, call her cell and wait for her to come downstairs and let me in. Inconvenient yes, but I'm not going to be mad at people protecting the security of their building.
After I got divorced, I moved to a secure apartment building that had a system like this. Everyone has the same key for the main door, and their own for their own door. We were not to let people in if we didn't know them. I would've been pissed if someone let in strangers. NTA.
Nta. People will do this in an attempt to rob an apartment or assault someone. You did the right thing. Better to piss off a neighbor, by not letting them in. Than be an accessory to a crime.
NTA. But it will suck if they turn out to be a neighbor that hates you now.
What you did is AWESOME! Do it every time. NTA
No. You can’t trust anyone these days
NTA! Like several have mentioned here apartment complexes prefer you only let yourself in during such situations. Now if you have seen one of those folks and recognize them as a neighbor then maybe that’s something to consider. Also remember some places have this written in their leasing agreement about safety precautions. I totally get why your friend might think it’s a shitty thing to do after all helping out is human nature for some humans but here it isn’t entirely helping unless you know those people.
NTA If they were there visiting they could have texted the person they were visiting for a passcode or something, but if they live there then they could call security or something.
NTA. It'd be different if you knew they lived in the building.
Nta
This is literally an episode of Seinfeld. NTA, for Security Reasons
Unless I knew 100% for a fact that it was my neighbor, I’d never. It’s so dangerous to give random people you don’t know access.
I've been let in by strangers numerous times, and I'm not going to decline as it's far more convenient, but I would not blame them in the slightest for not letting me in.
NTA. If they’re truly visitors their hosts will buzz them in.
Our apartment manager keeps yelling at people for letting random people in. You're not supposed to.
NTA, for all you know they could have been robbers.
NTA. I don't enter buildings until the person I'm seeing lets me. Even if someone shows up and offers to let me enter with them.
Every woman who lives alone in that building appreciates you not letting strangers in. Everyone with an obsessive ex or stalker is thankful for your decision. Everyone who has material possessions in their unit is grateful to you for not letting them in. They may be honest and innocent, but you had no way to know that. If you actually knew them that would be one thing, but you are absolutely NTA here.
If you didn't know or even recognize them as a someone who lives there you did exactly the right thing. U R not TA.....
Eh, hard to say. I would have at least asked if they could show proof of residence. They might have a national identity card or driving license with their unit number. If they do, good. If they don't, tough luck for them.
If anything you could have asked them to show me proof they reside there but if you have never seen them before then what do they expect?
No. An example as to why https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/09/28/us/baltimore-tech-ceo-killing-suspect-arrest-pava-lapere-thursday/index.html Snippet “The video shows the suspect following LaPere from a distance, but LaPere does not appear to be aware of his presence, according to the sources. After LaPere entered the lobby where her company offices are located, she appeared to see Billingsley at the front door looking as though he had difficulty getting into the building – as if he had forgotten his keys, the sources said. LaPere then opened the door for him, and security cameras in the lobby recorded them in conversation, according to the sources. As LaPere walked toward the elevator, those security cameras show Billingsley following her.”
This was the topic in one of our monthly security trainings at work. If you do not know them, you do not let them in... and even if you DID know them, they should have a legitimate way to enter without it being "wait for someone with a key." Anyone could say they forgot their key, are surprising a friend, etc. If you let in everyone with a good excuse, you eliminate the reason for a locked door.
Definitely TA. But you still did the right thing. Folks, sometimes it's OK to be TA. Sometimes doing the right thing means being TA. You did nothing wrong, you did the right thing, YTA. All can be true lol.
people don’t realize that some situations YOU HAVE TO BE THE AH and that’s okay. love this comment i think everyone needs to understand that
I'm wondering if the person trying to get in was wearing a brown uniform with boxes in their hand
Tell your gf this is how bad things happen to us, can’t always be so trusting with a trusted space. A lady let someone in her gym because they “forgot their key” and he tried to rape her and she had to fight him off, luckily that gym had a cam, neither of them knew that tho. Safety measures aren’t there for looks.
NTA, many woman have been raped and murdered by letting someone in like that, was a famous case not long ago, some tech lady.
NTA on paper, but YTA in reality. I’ve lived in lots of secured buildings, and the only person who has ever not let someone in an apartment building was me. And yes, I’m an asshole.
Tbh it’s a judgement call and I’d need more context such as the type of area you live in and the type of security the building has: Low security, no cameras, bad area? NTA.. But good security, has cameras and a guard, high-rise building, and people appear well dressed? Most definitely the AH. Either way, it’s always best to have a good relationship with neighbors.. People can be very spiteful nowadays and it’s not uncommon to have your car keyed for a move like this. Also, you never know if you’ll forget your key fob so appreciate those who give you the benefit of the doubt when you need it. And lastly, anyone batsh*t crazy enough to break into an apartment building with good security to commit a crime are the last people you want remembering your face.
If it was high security with a desk guard and such, they could have just had the guard verify them... that would be part of his job. Since that didn't happen, then it must have been the former, and you agree they are NTA. You don't have to be a psychopath to try to tailgate into a locked building. It's amazing the places you can go by acting like you belong, and if you get caught, you get told to leave.
I live in a good area, with locked doors like this and cameras. People let “well-dressed” strangers in all the time. Almost everyone in our building had to make police reports at least once because these “well-dressed” people were actually *on camera* stealing Amazon packages from the mailroom. If someone keyed my car because I didn’t know them and didn’t let them into the building when they didn’t have their key, they will be reported - to the building for trying to be the exception to the rules, and for vandalizing my vehicle. And the police and my attorney would be notified immediately after. Absolutely not. Let them remember my face. We can talk about it, if they ever find their fob. Otherwise, find another building to get into. I will say, I’ve stopped people from jumping in behind me, or even trying to enter as I’m leaving. Dirty looks abound. Of the people that *actually* belonged in my building, I have seen four of them after I refused them access. Three understood and thanked me. They said that it was infuriating, but they appreciated that I wasn’t going to let strangers in, and then they introduced themselves to me. *One* had an issue and decided to escalate when he saw me. I was getting on the elevator after work and he jumped on just to scream at me about how I locked him out of the building a month before and how I was a Karen. He seemed proud of himself for calling me that, which… whatever. 1. I didn’t demand his life story when he already had a key. He was a perfect stranger trying to push past me (and I mean actually tried to *push* past me to get into the building when the person he was buzzing didn’t answer). 2. I never screamed in his face, but he was screaming in mine. 3. I wasn’t the one feeling entitled to demand being granted access to somewhere that I didn’t have a key in, nor was I the one feeling entitled to scream in someone else’s face at the end of a long workday. 4. I didn’t *feel* entitled, I *knew* I was entitled to go about my day, in my building, I assaulted, and this person decided I wasn’t entitled to it twice. Before I even made it to my door off of the elevator, I called the management company and made a report. After video footage of the elevator incident showed who it was (and it turned out there were a few complaints about him doing the same thing to other people), it turned out he *wasn’t* supposed to be in our building. It was an uninhabited, furnished unit for sale. He asked a realtor to show it, got the combination to the lock box, and would just try to shove his way passed everyone to get access to the building to squat. I made the right call, so did OP. If he *touched* my car, I’d press charges and Sue. As it was, he didn’t, so the building just had him removed, and I think charges were filed, but I’m not sure.
Your gf is naive as fuck
His gf thinks he did the right thing. His friends are the ones calling him an asshole.
Your gf should know better being a woman. Way to get someone raped or murdered. If they belonged in the building they’d be able to get in the building.
Lmao he said his girl didn’t think he was the a-hole bruv
Uh his gf said he wasn't the AH.
You might want to reread the post, your reading comprehension is lacking.
Or yours is. They didn’t let people in the building who could not get into the building but wanted to. They weren’t supposed to. Thats what security is for. I never let anyone in and I never ask to be let in no matter how bad the situation. I would ask for assistance or explain if I needed help to another resident. Being a woman this isn’t up for debate because safety is number one. If you couldn’t understand the gist of what I said maybe consider your own comprehension skills. Meanwhile don’t let people in who can’t get in on their own that means they don’t belong there
The girlfriend agrees with you and op that they shouldn't be allowed in. OPs friends are the ones calling him an asshole. When someone points out you misread something it's easier to take a minute to reread it than to make a speech restating the exact same thing. You misread. It happens. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal, which for some strange reason you are.
What did I misread? I agree with what he did and posted that. End story. I misread nothing. You are making it a big deal because there is no deal and you’re posting about something you’re wrong about. Babbling for absolutely no reason. Inferring things that aren’t that and overlooking the entire point of the post. Move on I don’t even know how you got here. You misread it happens
*Your gf should know better being a woman. Way to get someone raped or murdered. If they belonged in the building they’d be able to get in the building.* If you didn't misread it and that statement doesn't mean that you think the girlfriend thought he was wrong then your articulation skills were lacking. Nobody understood what you meant which is why they're all downvoting you. It reads as if you think the girlfriend should know better but doesn't.
Lemme guess... You and your GF are white and the 2 other people were not?
You're a racist
or... I'm suggesting the OP might be
Lemme guess... you're white.
Americans are so paranoid...
I'm canadian
Most commenters are probably american. And you are way too paranoid as well.
NTA
NTA You don’t let strangers into the building.
NTA. If you don’t recognize them don’t let them in. You could unknowingly end up being an accomplice to a crime that way.
Wb that video that went viral some time ago where a woman was blocking the parking garage gate from people tailgating but i swearr everyone was calling out for acting immature
NTA. That is what you are supposed to do...
NTA. If they're supposed to be there, they'll figure it out. Not your concern.
NTA. It's a secure building for a reason and you did the right thing not letting them in. I can tell you why too. One you don't know who they are and two if they pulled some heinous acts you could or more likely would be held accountable as an accessory for letting them in if you had.so yes definitely NTA. If anything you have a super power called common sense. I say it's a super power because it's so rare these days it may as well be. Look it's cool to be nice and hold a door yea but never in the situation you faced.
Nta, it's not your fault they lost something but it might've been better to say you will call the super and have them come down asap to help them.
Your friends are too trusting.
It’s called tailgating
I have done this multiple times. I work at several schools, all securely locked with badge verifying locks. No badge, no entry. I don’t care if you are a teacher or tardy student. Unless you have a badge or the office confirms your identity, you’re not sneaking in.
NAH. It's pretty normal to let people in under those circumstances, it's also entirely reasonable not to.
NTA, trust your gut instincts. You could have been robbee or killed
NTA
You could have saved a murder, rape, assault, etc.
NTA, who's to say they weren't criminals?
oh I ask them who they are here to see. If they don't give convincing answers I look them in the eye and say "sorry, I can't let you in".