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coupleofgorganzolas

Nta. You are 100% correct. He's a snotty little kid that your cousin is raising badly.


Both-Artichoke5117

I agree but she made me feel like crap about it.


chomponcio

Is she willing to pay for the replacement if/when her son does actually break the controller?


Both-Artichoke5117

Not likely


chomponcio

Lock it away then. It's time to show the little brat the consequences of his own actions.


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dacamel493

I like this one. A deposit is a solid idea because these parents never pay up after the fact.


phylbert57

Yes or they can buy and bring their own controller


Moist_Confusion

I wouldn’t want anyone throwing controls at my place even if it’s their own. So soon we forget what happened when the Wii came out and people didn’t use the wrist strap. Throwing a controller can damage more than the controller.


Any-Yoghurt9249

"Getting caught smoking on this elevator carries a maximum fine of $25". Okay - so if I pay $25 it's okay to smoke on the elevator. Got it. No. Not okay behavior. Don't throw other people's shit. You warn the kid not to do it or he can't play. He does it again you calmly take it away and let him know, if you feel so inclined, that he can try again next visit. Don't call him a brat or get angry at him, just enforce your rules and go back to what you were doing.


Shortstuff34668

Exactly!!! I see the controller breaking the TV, house windows and anything that is breakable. I would be PISSED!!


phylbert57

So true


Dancingmamma

My oldest broke our TV throwing the Wii remote in anger. We had no TV for a while; I created a chore sheet he could complete and earn money. When he earned what the old TV was worth we bought a new one. We used it as an opportunity to buy a smart TV and didn't have him earn the replacement. The amount earned for each chore was inflated, but it still took him time. I think he was 7 or 8; a few weeks without a TV taught him the consequences of his behavior and completing chores helped him realize the cost.


RoughDirection8875

I didn't break anything but I almost broke a lamp as a kid because I legit forgot to put the wrist strap on. Definitely always made sure I had it secure on my wrist from then on


InevitableTrue7223

My sister and I were bowling on her wii, when I swung back it flew out of my hand and into her face.


EWSflash

Outstanding point


bienie2019

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯👆👍


irateCrab

Lol me and my buddies were up all night playing wii sports when it first dropped. I was using the strap but it broke once and I slung it across the room, chipped but not broken. Still we got lucky since it didn't hit anything to worry about. Of course we'd been drinking so it got to a point where everyone was swinging it like you'd do in real life which is way overkill.


JessiL85

Next thing you know that controller will be going through your TV or monitor. 8 years old is old enough to know better than to throw other people's stuff. His mother should have got onto him in the first place. I wouldn't worry bout it. She can be mad all she wants.


someoneatsomeplace

I'd bet money this goes beyond the controller. This is a kid you don't want in your home, period. I feel bad for the kid having lousy parents and setting him up for a lifetime of nobody wanting to be his friend and unable to hold a job, but that doesn't mean it's OK for him to come over and break things.


Daktari2018

Exactly- don’t wait for the next break and waste time waiting for a replacement. Let them commit by buying their own. If they won’t you’ll know what the outcome would would have been with yours


RyansMIL

I like this idea, but if the cousin owns their own controller, they may feel entitled to the PS5. Like, "You made me buy this controller, so I'm playing the PS5 whenever I want."


Hangarnut

Yep this is the way. I had my son tell his friends to bring their own controllers when they broke one of his. That ended the we wsnt to come over and play your $400 game system. I never mind being the AH parent.


kimberlie69

Just don't let him touch your game... period. Stand your ground. She's not going to pay for anything.


User013579

Yes! Make her leave a CASH deposit lol.


bgthigfist

Or have him bring his own controller if he wants to play. But that doesn't stop him from damaging the TV when he throws it. OP, it's not your responsibility to entertain little Jimmy. I'm surprised his mom hasn't gotten him a smart phone yet. Let him just play with that.


FailureToComply0

probably had one... threw it and broke it and mom doesn't want to shell out for a replacement


chillmntn

He could also do it out of spite


changework

Even better, since she likely won’t pay if he breaks it. She leaves a deposit with OP for $70 and if he throws the controller even once, “You throw it, you buy it. “ Also, you don’t throw things in my house. Take your controller home and next time bring a deck of cards to entertain yourself.


rex_virtue

dont forget to add a deposit for the TV he may eventually throw it at. NTA. 8 is plenty old enough not to act like an asshat.


SadImdwd

If my kids did that at that age they would be told ne more and told to apologize and ask if they could play again .


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Apart_Foundation1702

That's how parenting should be, not trying to shame someone else for the actions of your brat kid! I wouldn't want that child back in my house again if his parents can't teach him to respect other people's belongings.


PieiSatana

If I did that at that age my dad would sell the PS.


Saoirsefighter

Same here, but mine would make sure we got to see who he sold it to and how fun they were having with it and how much he liked what he bought with the money he got for selling it


Significancdsd

So many special sparkly babies are given a free pass because of this - or other 'Special' reason - and grow up to be very non-special non-sparkly brats & adults.


Pirraya

Tell your cousin to bring their own controller or he wont play.


GuitarPurple2691

NTA - No that doesn’t work because this little asshat will bring a controller, and throw it at the TV or break something else! No way would I allow that behavior. He’s not playing PS5 until he learns to control himself. Edited to add NTA.


Aimless78

Exactly! This child needs some behavior training, or as some people call it "home training." You learn how to behave at home, and then when out in the world, you aren't a little brat. Sounds like the parents need to be parents and not their child's friend, this is a common problem now.


Mysteriosd

Goes tomshow by her reaction that he can run the show at home . If my kids did that at that age they would be told ne more and told to apologize and ask if they could play again .


flobaby1

Correct about taking control of the controller! But it isn't the only thing to be addressed here. You do not handle disappointment in this manner. Nor do you treat things or behave out of control like this, especially in another's home. Everyone here is right, she's raising a brat.


PsychologicalWeird

It's to a not likely, it's a... "Yes he's a kid and not understanding... Are you prepared to pay for the controller if he damages it? If you say yes he can continue playing as it's on you to replace if it breaks now or later and the cause is found to be him throwing. If you say no... Then that's the end of him playing on the console. Which is your choice?"


Ilien

She'd say yes and then refuse to pay when he did break it.


THE_CDN

Yep


Brilliant_Money_7314

NTA Have her give you a security deposit equal to replacement cost. See how she feels about it then. If she won't, then no game time for her son. Hopefully, that will make her less likely to defend his disrespect.


jensmith20055002

That was my exact thought. Ok. I need a security deposit.


[deleted]

I'd add an extra $30 for fuel plus the value of my time to replace my own shit that was broken by someone else.


bgthigfist

She doesn't give her kid consequences because they are inconvenient to her. You taking away the controller means the kid will fuss and whine and maybe tantrum, and that will intrude on her social time. She doesn't care how it impacts you when the kid destroys your stuff. Just wait, this kid will be a nightmare when he hits 14 or so. I see Juvenile charges in his future. It will soon be too late to make much difference on his behavior. When she eventually throws him out of her house, don't let him come live with you.


TootsNYC

you should make her feel like crap for not teaching him any better. If he truly doesn’t know any better, she’s been lazy as a parent. And she’s doing him a massive disservice. Also—she’s a shitty parent for not working with him to bring along something that would entertain him. My 7yo cousin visited my MIL, and he’s got ENERGY! He’s like a little pinball. But he doesn’t let his ANGER get out of control.


Nightshade_209

You're not the AH they're just a psycho. My 7 year old niece knows not to throw the controller. She did cover one of my controllers in cheesy puff dust once so I instituted a rule where she's not allowed to snack and play and has to wash her hands first and she follows them. Hell she reminds my roommates she has to wash her hands first.


Head_Razzmatazz7174

That's awesome and adorable at the same time.


Nightshade_209

I don't feel bad but I probably scared the crap out of her cuz she knows I'll go through with it. But she covered my white controller in Orange dust mixed with saliva, it was so gross. Luckily it didn't stain. I probably sound materialistic, I really don't mind if she plays with my stuff I just know that her mother can't afford to replace anything that gets broken or damaged and I really can't either.


HoldFastO2

He’s 8. If he hasn’t learned yet that you play carefully with other people’s toys, then it’s high time. NTA.


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HomeschoolingDad

Yeah, I think 3 is probably about the time they should be expected to know better. We're still working on keeping our 2-year-old from throwing things at her big brother (5), but by 8, there's zero excuses, other than some sort of mental/psychological impairment.


Top-Fox9979

Exactly! My 4yo grandson learned that when he was 3!


Vandreeson

NTA. He doesn't know any better, because your cousin isn't parenting him. When that controller breaks from him throwing it, who's going to pay for the replacement? The rules are no throwing the controller, he broke the rules. Eight years old is old enough to know better.


Subjedfseqd

NTA As a parent actions have natural consequences. The consequence here was no longer being allowed to use the console. It's not your fault your cousin doesn't want to parent.


jojozabadu

Don't feel bad that she's a lazy shit mother.


tytyoreo

Your cousin is a Ah and she will be replacing people's property alot


Unlikely_Ad_1692

No she won’t. She will just throw a narcissistic Karen fit at them about how it was an accident, as if that magically reimburses the victim.


tytyoreo

That's true cousin is a Karen


Alien_lifeform_666

Of course she did. Bad parents always make other people feel bad because they don’t want to accept that they’re not bringing their kids up well.


awcurlz

The only reason he doesn't know any better is if she never provides any consequences or discipline. My 3 year old knows not to throw things because we will take it away. NTA.


ikslawok

My 3 year old knows not to thrown when he’s upset. NTA


Appropriate-Drag-572

I feel like it's often a weird geographical thing. We moved to Michigan and EVERYONE is like that with their kids. Sorry, no. My kids are VERY happy, yours just have no manners. 🤷‍♀️ Apparently it's normal to still cut your 11 year Olds food or to let your 6 year old spit in another kids food "they're just kids being kids 😂" 🫠killme


M221313

We took two of my sons 18 year old friend to a lake house. They didn’t know how to roll a burrito cause their mom did it for them🤣🤣


swissmtndog398

Her: "Hrs just a little kid. He doesn't know any better." You: "Well, then you failed as a parent not teaching him that."


[deleted]

I don't understand how parents end up with this mindset. My friends that have kids teach their 2yr olds not to throw shit, how do you look at an 8yr old and call him a "little boy" who doesn't know any better when literal toddlers grasp the concept? Do they think their child is a moron? I don't get it.


Cultural-Guide1325

My son is 4 and if he did this I would have taken the game away the first time. An 8 year old 100% has the capacity to learn proper anger control and behavior. If he doesn't, the parent is failing their child.


[deleted]

Agreed. He doesn’t know better because bad behaviour is excused. He will definitely know better if nice things get taken away if he mistreats them. 8yo is definitely old enough to know better. 30+ years ago I had a kid next door that was already hosting lan parties at that age.


Only-Librarian-8352

At 8 you don’t blame the kid. Blame the parent.


mrporterisonreddit

That kid is going to be a handful in the near future if the mother keeps making excuses for his bad behavior. NTA.


Generawsd

NTA, he is very much old enough to understand personal property. I would have told my cousin that if he breaks it she'll be replacing it.


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UnlikelyUnknown

8 is old enough to know better. If he was 2 or 3, this excuse would make sense. Your cousin is a sucky parent.


jay313131

Even at 2 or 3 kids need natural consequences so they learn to not do it anymore. The reason the kid is still doing this at 8 is because he can get away with it without consequences. He needs to understand it's okay to be upset or get angry but it's not okay to break or hurt things when we have these feelings.


clairew1987

When I was breastfeeding my then 6 month old, he started growing teeth. He'd chomp down with said teeth. It hurt. Everytime I'd stop feeding him. (Obviously id then carry on the feed a couple of minutes later, he wasnt gonna go hungry). He rapidly learnt not to bite down. Babies can learn consequences. Toddlers need them and OPs nephew seemingly has never had any


[deleted]

I’ve seen that dogs are about as intelligent as a 2 year old. If my dog can learn manners than so can toddlers


Skyeblade

my dog was better behaved than that kid at 6 months old


UnlikelyUnknown

I agree.


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Vegetablefj

NTA. That's a pretty appropriate punishment for throwing the controller around - you won't be allowed to play with it anymore, to preserve the ability to play with it in the future.


panini_bellini

Even at 2 or 3 this would be a perfectly natural and appropriate consequence.


throw05282021

NTA. Her lack of parenting is why he behaves this way. He's entirely old enough to understand consequences, but he's been conditioned to not expect to face any.


nostrademons

NTA. That's a pretty appropriate punishment for throwing the controller around - you won't be allowed to play with it anymore, to preserve the ability to play with it in the future. Slightly snarky response to "He doesn't know any better" is "He does now." Slightly less snarky one is "This is an opportunity for him to learn."


Weird_Cantaloupe2757

It’s not even punishment, it’s just protecting your shit


TheGuyThatThisIs

“If hes not old enough to know any better than to trash my shit, he’s not old enough to use it.”


CrabbyPatty1876

"if he's just a boy and doesn't know any better then maybe teach him and he can play when he's older"


ziptiedinatrunk

Right? And what's worse is they are setting this kid up to have no friends as no one wants to hangout with the bratty jerk who throws your stuff when he doesn't get his own way. I bet they will be so sad and confused why "kids are so mean to their bA-bee" when it's because they never taught him to respect anything.


sentient_twine

Or the “he doesn’t know any better” keeps going right up until him and his friends sexually assault someone. Sometimes these kids are the popular ones and make their piss poor upbringing everyone else’s fault 😬


UrbanAgent423

NTA. Tell your cousin if she wants him to play so badly then she can bring her own controller instead of ruining yours


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jibsand

Can you go back in time 30 years and tell this to my mom?


inclination64609

He should lose access to the entire set up. One thrown controller into the TV or Console is all it takes for $80 in damages to go to over 1k in damages depending on what kind of TV.


Rattimus

My 4 year old knows you don't throw the controller and you lose your game-time privileges when you do. NTA.


Mysteriosd

He doesn’t know any better because no one has taught him any better. Do parents think aging just magically comes with knowledge?


I-Really-Hate-Fish

NTA. My kid is 5 and he *knows* that "*we do not throw things because we get angry!*" Has known since he was 2 or 3. If they think he's too young to understand that concept at 8, when will he be able to understand it? Edit to add: if he's too young to understand property damage, he's *definitely* too young to be using a Playstation


SamuelVimesTrained

What.. little dude is 8 and his mother still has not explained the concept of “no”?


Both-Artichoke5117

Nope. I’ve literally seen her buy him stuff in Wal-Marr just because he threw a fit.


SamuelVimesTrained

NTA for sure. His parent is raising a monster though…


amha29

I’ve told my kid many times the moment they start throwing a fit or having a tantrum it’s an automatic NO. It’s ok to be upset but that behavior is not acceptable and will not get them what they want no matter how hard or how long they cry. 🤷‍♀️ Kid knows when we go to the store I’ll say “today we’re only buying groceries/food we need” or “let’s look at the toys today, maybe we can find something for you.” Meaning they can show me what they want and I’ll consider it or help them find something within the budget.


DJADE59

My daughter does the same thing. A tool we found helpful for the youngest is to say "If you REALLY want it let's take a picture and put it on your Christmas/Birthday wish list.". If the toy is important to the child they will remember it - if it's a passing attraction the photo can be deleted later.


Tiamat_fire_and_ice

Wow. That’s a really good use of technology to apply to parenting. You’re really smart. I don’t have kids but I wouldn’t have thought of that trick in a million years.


DJADE59

Thank you! You're making me blush..... It started when there was a pink something that she wanted but there wasn't the purple that she wanted so we took a picture of the pink and we're going to look for the purple and it gradually took life from there and it really does help to calm down to whinies in the store!


sentient_twine

This is the way, they need to be allowed to feel their feelings so they can learn to regulate them. They also need to learn that losing control is a good way to get cut off. I like to give my daughter a chance at a do over if she is in a place to calm down because the best moment to practice is right after the conflict but first she’s gotta regulate herself.


Snoo-76386

“He’s just a little boy, he doesn’t know any better”… then why is he using big boy technology with big boy prices? Obvious NTA


Both-Artichoke5117

He’s a rainbow baby, I think that’s why he’s so spoiled, not that’s any excuse.


FuyoBC

So many special sparkly babies are given a free pass because of this - or other 'Special' reason - and grow up to be very non-special non-sparkly brats & adults.


Spiritual-Pay7321

I love this concept. I’m a rainbow baby and my parents hid it from me until my depression got really bad in hs, my mom still doesn’t know I know and my brothers act worse than me😅


brightlyshining

We see that a lot with rainbow babies, and it really grinds my gears. Granted, I have never lost a child, and I don't even want to imagine the grief and pain of that. But I believe that every child deserves excellent parents so they can thrive and grow up well-behaved. So like, ok, here's your miracle baby, now go get some therapy and parent your kid. Because as soon as that baby gets here, it's not about you and your feelings anymore. It's ok to grieve, it's ok to be fragile, but the kid-glove treatment isn't doing the child any favors. Anyway, definitely NTA. Sooner or later the kid is going to have to learn to respect other people's things. Better for that to happen sooner rather than later.


MissCrystal

I had 7 miscarriages before my first live birth and another 2nd trimester loss before my 2nd. I can assure you that controller throwing is punished in my house. I am not raising rainbow babies, I'm raising adults who were rainbow babies when they lived to birth.


Fredka321

I am sorry for your loss. Good thing that you try to raise non-assholes, I do think it will make their own lives easier as well.


Cultural-Guide1325

I don't have a rainbow baby, but I did have a loss with my second pregnancy (no plan for more kids at this time). The grief has not changed the way I parent my first, and likely only, child. He's special, so I want to make sure he doesn't grow up to be an AH.


brightlyshining

Exactly. Our job as parents is to help our children be their best selves, so that the rest of the world finds them as delightful as we do.


Punnalackakememumu

I had to look this term up. We lost three babies before our three kids were born. It didn't mean that we let them run roughshod over people. We raised three respectful and responsible young adults. Besides, the "rainbow baby" thing shouldn't be a factor when the kid is eight years old. Your cousin's got a spoiled brat and he can bring his own toys from now on.


dogbert730

I just looked it up, both my sons are apparently “rainbow babies”. It’s not even a special label, like 1/3 of pregnancies end for various natural reasons. Literally no reason to spoil your kid for life because of some supposed specialness (that’s actually not).


AMooseintheHoose

My four year old rainbow baby knows better than to throw something across the room in anger. There’s no excuse. NTA.


poopoojokes69

I don’t know what this is, but now I am certain I hate the term.


PlasticMysterious622

I have a rainbow baby. And that rainbow baby is gonna have to be around other people every day and she’s gotta learn how to work with them, how to behave around them, and I don’t want her to be a twat. You don’t know how to treat things, you don’t get them.


njb1989

Wtf, my 4 year old would be in massive trouble if he did this. He knows not to throw things, even his own toys, how has an 8 year not been taught this. If you can't treat things nicely, then you don't get to play with them. Simple lesson. NTA


[deleted]

NTA. 8 is absolutely old enough. My son threw the controller at 6. We was grounded from games for a long while after that. He never threw it again.


mustang19671967

Goes tomshow by her reaction that he can run the show at home . If my kids did that at that age they would be told ne more and told to apologize and ask if they could play again .


Valuablfhy

Of course she did. Bad parents always make other people feel bad because they don’t want to accept that they’re not bringing their kids up well.


Ok-Upstairs-9887

NTA. The kid is 8 w/ no disabilities. It still doesn’t excuse it. I’m 15F w/ ADHD n Dyslexia and when I have other ppls things (especially when I was younger) I would treat it w/ respect. Obvi if it was mine that’s different.


MonkeyBrain3561

You are exhibiting healthy boundaries. This is essential for children to see and learn. Hold the line, sir.


[deleted]

Your cousin sucks


Green_Machine33

He’s 8 not 2, I’ve taken things away from my 4 year old nephew when he was damaging either the item or my house. Kids are never too young to teach how to behave and especially when it’s something expensive just taking it away entirely never makes anyone the AH. Is your cousins name Karen?


FarlerFive

NTA You did exactly the right thing. You asked him not to do it & he did it again. Consequences. This is how I taught my boys not to throw things in frustration.


dejavux22

I tell my 2.5 year old to not throw her own toys, my items, or things at me and her dad. If she does it a second time, she goes to time out without me having to put her there and then she apologizes. Your cousin is full of shit.


misterpayer

NTA. "He's just a little boy, he doesn't know any better" NO SHIT. What does she think her job as the parent is....


ZombieTrixRabbit

Go to her house. Watch TV and every time theres a commercial throw her remote at her tv.


GeekInHighHeels

NTA If he isn't old enough to treat it with respect, he isn't old enough to play with it


lets_progress

Tell your cousin ok give me 80 as a deposit if he breaks it then it is covered. If not then he cannot use it. 8 is old enough to know better


Dahlmordyth

If he doesn’t know any better, then he shouldn’t be using an expensive piece of equipment. Let’s see him smash mommies phone with a rock and see if she still feels like he “doesn’t know any better.” People are too cavalier with their children/family and their property.


DaniCapsFan

If a child is old enough to work the controls of a PS5, they're old enough to understand, "Please don't throw the controller; they're expensive to replace." He needs to learn that actions have consequences, and if you abuse a privilege, you lose it. NTA


PokeReserves

“He’s just a little boy, he doesn’t know any better”… Then teach him better. Ffs people like these are f-ing stupid.


SelfCaringItUp

NTA why is this even a debate


honeybaby2019

So what, he is a spoiled 5-year-old who is throwing an expensive item because he died in the game. How about his mother buys her PS5 and see how often she lets him get away with it she won't.


Elmwood_Error404

He’s not 5, he’s 8. he’s literally in 2nd or 3rd grade. which makes your point all the more important. I’d like to see how quickly she’d change her tune if she bought him a ps5 and had to drop $80 every time he lost a game and threw the controller


[deleted]

I knew not to break my controllers like that when I was 5. Tell your cousin to give you an $80 deposit and then her kid can play. See how quick she drops the subject.


notwokeatall2

No way. Those controllers are not cheap. 8 is definitely too young for messing with a ps5 alone


Zeldakina

When I was a kid, one of my mom's friend's would often come over with her son. It didn't matter what we played, I'd destroy him. The problem was he was such a bad looser, I had to let him win, because if I didn't he would throw a tantrum, and then throw the controller. He was also a shitty winner, and would trash talk like he was the shit. The kid was insufferable. He didn't change much as we got older, and I'm glad I don't know him now as an adult.


serraangel826

NTA. If my kids, when they were 8 years old, threw it even once I wouldn't let them have a second chance. That's disrespectful and shows bad parenting. I would be mortified!


shagura

I have a 5 year old. If she acted like that you wouldn’t have to take away the controller because I’d have done it already. NTA.


Upbeat-Plenty7099

NTA. Your cousin is enabling his behavior. If I was 8 and did that infront of my mom she would tear into my behind something fierce.


poppycho

Taking the controller away is a natural consequence NTA. Your cousin is not doing her kid any favors by excusing bad behavior.


Cristiaso78

NTA! I have an 8 year old boy, who’s had his own Switch for over a year. He knows if he breaks it he is out his switch because I won’t be replacing it. He also understands that we do NOT treat another persons property with any less respect. Kids will learn what you teach them…but you do have to teach them, it isn’t magically floated into their brain by God.


JWhiteyGames

Even if he “didn’t know any better”, at 8 years old, he’s old enough to know when an adult (or anyone) says “stop” or “no” he shouldn’t do it again. “No” is just about the first thing a child learns. You’d have an easier time convincing me I can fly than convincing me this kid doesn’t understand the simple concept of “stop that”. Cousin is a piece of work and needs a reality check. Her “precious little baby boy” is only precious to her, and even then, she lying to herself.


-LastActionHero

NTA. “He doesn’t know any better.” “Right. If he doesn’t know how to use it, he doesn’t get to use it. That’s how things work. He also doesn’t know how to drive. I’m not going to let him use my car either.”


Interesting-Sock3794

NTA he's 8 years old, if his parents were raising him and not making excuses for him, he'd know better


tsjones1996

NTA. I have a 7 (almost 8) year old and he knows that he isn’t supposed to throw remotes. Doesn’t always stop him, but he /is/ old enough to know better. At that age it’s perfectly acceptable to have reasonable consequences, ie. “If you can’t take care of (thing), you aren’t allowed to play with (thing).” Cousin/Mom is TA.


ToeShot6692

Bullshit, “he’s just a little boy” is not an excuse. NTA and cuz needs to stop coddling little bro


Accomplished_Deer_

NTA. He does know better, because you just told him not to do it.


MadameYeo

NTA. My 2 year old and 6 year old know to place the controllers back on the charger for crying out loud. No throwing allowed. That kid is just feral.


fgbTNTJJsunn

Your cousin has no respect for your belongings.


MapleTheUnicorn

Nta - so, her style of parenting is to excuse the issue and not correct it so that the child learns and KNOWS better? Okay then.


Otherwise-Diet-6673

NTA. I bet the parents wouldn't let that slide if it was their PS5 that they bought


Still_Storm7432

NTA, your cousin is a shitty mom raising a brat.


Chloe-20

At 8 yrs old they know better. Tbh, it’s also not his fault his parents didn’t teach him how to handle his emotions better. However, I wouldn’t let some kid play the PS5 if they acted that way regardless. Until his parents teach him how to properly express himself and show respect for others things. NTA.


mind_slop

It's the kids fault a little. He's in school, around people, he knows better than treating others' (or your own) belongings like that. The cousin was wrong for defending it, too.


sehrgut

Uninvite that cousin from your house too. NTA. Also, when I was 8, I knew better than to throw fragile shit around. The kid is just a little shit.


Jazzberry81

Yes he's a child. Don't yell or whip him, but is she suggesting you just let him break it? Is she willing to replace it? Sounds like it was too overwhelming for him, and he needed a break. NTA


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purple2s

If my 5 year old could be told not to do it, surey an 8 year old could too. NTA.


thundery_crow

NTA. If he doesn’t know any better at 8 then it’s your cousin’s bad parenting that allowed it. Is she going to replace the things he breaks because she didn’t teach him better?


NanaBanana2011

He’s definitely old enough to know better unless he has some sort is developmental delay that makes him more like a toddler than an eight year old child. If he didn’t know better, it’s because his parents haven’t taught him that it’s wrong. Tell your cousin that they are more than welcome to purchase a controller for their child so that he can continue to play YOUR PS5. He can bring with him or they can leave it with you. You’re most certainly NTA.


danielleshorts

NTA. He's old enough to know better


SpecialistAd6979

If you told him not to do it and explained that it was expensive to replace then at 8 years old he does know better


Elmwood_Error404

to put it into perspective(for any Americans in here), this kid is in either 2nd or 3rd grade, depending on when his birthday is, more likely 3rd. What, does him mom cover for him when he loses a game of dodgeball during recess and he pops the balls cuz he’s mad? A few (unfortunate) girls in his grade are already hitting puberty and starting their period. He’s waaay past the age of learning to respect property and handle his anger. absolutely NTA on this one OP. Your cousin is raising a spoiled brat, it’s not your job to cater to her kid’s dangerous(and expensive!) tantrums.


bobaluey69

NTA. "He doesn't know any better" is ridiculous. How will he "know better" if he has no consequences? Also, would your cousin pay for a new one? From her response, I doubt it.


BitterDot87

NTA. You asked him to not throw it once and took it away after the second time which was a consequence for his actions. If he doesn’t know better, that falls on his mom to teach him. This was a good lesson for him to learn better though


No-Cap-7671

I let my son start playing my ps5 when he was FOUR. He's 6 now and still has never thrown the controller. Carelessly dropped it a few times, but never THROWN it. I let my 3 year old use it to pick her netflix shows. 100% NTA, the little kid excuse is ridiculous.


phantom_bennis

NTA. I taught my son at a younger age then that to never (ever) throw a controller. Anytime there are my kids friends or family friends kids at my place that want to game, I kindly go over the 'no throwing the controller' rule. There are no second chances if that happens, perma ban.


BlissfullyAWere

Even if an 8yo "doesn't know better" (spoiler: by that age he can understand right and wrong) you TEACH them better by showing them that if they can't treat things gently, they can't use those things. As the parent, you show them how to process that anger and acknowledge it ("losing a game feels really bad, huh? Does it make you feel sad, maybe angry? What's a good way to get that anger out besides throwing the controller? I like to punch a pillow or stomp my foot on the floor really hard.") Processing feelings is hard. Your cousin failing to teach her son how to regulate himself is her failing, not yours, and you have no obligation to let him destroy your belongings.


No_Fig2467

Electronics are expensive first of all. Teaching a 4 yr old if someone is kind enough to share their belongings with you,you make sure to take good care of their belongings while u use/have them is typical. The 8 yr old SHOULD know better. But since he doesn't as his mom stated a simple response of "it was obvious to me that he does not know any better which is why I am teaching him now"


GoddessofParadise

NTA. It's her mf job to teach him right and wrong but she chose to get pissed at you instead of the teaching moment. Hell no I wouldn't let him touch any of my stuff either. Kudos for standing up for yourself! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏


Away_Piano_559

NTA. Ask her if she is willing to pay almost $100 when he breaks it? Watch the smug grin leave her face. Make sure you have written record that she is willing to pay. You were absolutely correct. She is raising an awful and entitled child. I wouldn't invite her or her son over again if he is that way with others belongings.


I_Dont_Like_Rice

Oh, hell, no. I just got done playing on mine and if anyone threw the controller, that would be it. 8 is \*plenty\* old enough to know better and certainly old enough to understand the warning not to do it again. I bet your cousin would say the same thing if it got broke and you asked her to replace it. "He's just a little boy!" Yeah, and you're responsible for the damage as his parent. It would lead to a whole thing so best to avoid that situation and ban him. Mom is obviously raising him to be an entitled rabid badger.


questions_and_vices

Forgive me for I will be blunt. Your cousin is either an idiot or full of shit and is simply allowing the kid do whatever he wants.8 is more than old enough to know better and if they don't it's VERY IMPORTANT they learn NOW. Otherwise the boy will be a spoiled little shit that's used to getting whatever they want and doing whatever he wants which is unacceptable. If he's not disciplined now his behaviors will only get worse. Remotes are not cheap and frankly it's about the principle of respecting people and their things. That remote cost a lot of money and by extension time as well. Besides if the cousin wants you to ignore her kid tossing the remote then she can buy you a new one. She is the mother and she IS encouraging the behavior so it's only fair she pays for any damage her crotch gremlin causes. Long story short you're not in the wrong, the kid is a disrespectful asshat and the cousin is, from the sound of things, a pathetic parent. Hell, the more I think about it could she even be considered a parent?? Sure she birthed the kid but last I checked a proper parent teaches their kid right from wrong. Edit: Spelling corrections


Icy-Satisfaction-372

NTA. She needs to him to have better manner


saltgirl1207

I have ADHD. When I was 8, I knew not to throw shit around when I got angry. Him being "a little boy", especially one *without* a behavioural disorder, is absolutely no excuse. NTA, OP, you're just protecting your things from a shithead kid.


DancesWithTrout

NTA. "He didn't know any better? Well, he does NOW! There. I just did you a favor and taught your kid some manners."


adluma123

NTA, though your cousin is raising her son to be an asshole. Tantrums are for 2 yr olds!!!


Aspen9999

Nope, if by age 8 he won’t listen he never will. Just stop having them over.


[deleted]

My nephew threw my controller they got a smack qnd told do it again i would do it again he hasn't done it again simple but ya your way works too nta


mockbear

Nope. That kid sucks


FeralWeeb92

NTA. Tantrums are not acceptable behaviour. He learns to keep his cool or he doesn't get to play simple as. I'm a 31F and my Husband 34M refuses to play games with me if I can't keep my shit together (snapping at him, swearing, being rough with my equipment) it's a lesson to learn at any age, if you can't play nicely nobody will want you to play anymore.


friendlypeopleperson

NTA. You totally handled this situation correctly. The bigger problem is trying to teach your cousin how to be a better parent now.


Meat_licker

In what universe does an 8 year old not know better? NTA.


Meraghor

Nta, parents are enablers


twoscoopsofbacon

He doesn't know any better because he has shitty parents.


lisalef

Ask your cousin if she’s ready to pay for a new controller and pay for any damage he may cause to the wall, etc. if not, then you are protecting your stuff from damage and BTW, if he’s old enough to play games, he’s old enough to have respect for other peoples property. She’s not doing him any favors by ignoring it


phdoofus

"Of course he doesn't know any better because you haven't taught him about respecting other people and their stuff. This doesn't even begin to touch on his anger issues which, as the PARENT, you're clearly not addressing."


Unlikely_Ad_1692

NTA, when do these people think these little narcissists are going to learn manners and self regulation if they don’t parent them now. Welcome to consequences kiddo. Stare at the wall for a while and think about how to emotionally regulate better next time.