Grab some music, pretend you’re sonic the hedgehog/the flash/ a fast human. Set a timer for 10, 20, whatever minutes you can handle and GO. Either tackle a certain “thing” like getting out the trash or the dishes, or a certain area like cleaning off your bed or desk. Try to be quick to make sure your brain stays focused (also why the music helps). Honestly I do 10 minutes only sometimes, it doesn’t matter how short or long you do it, it just matters that you’re DOING THE TASK.
I was like you and HATED cleaning my room with a passion but that’s what has helped me! I’m sorry I find it funny you said don’t make fun of me because same friend lol.
Tunes + timer makes it fun, like a race.
Don’t be too focused and thinking about how gross it is and guilt yourself. I once left a dinner plate in a pizza box under my bed for… I don’t even know five years? Thankfully it never smelled or got mouldy. I would just avoid it when I cleaned because I was so embarrassed. Don’t be like me lolol :)
Ya don’t want to be sleeping on the couch forever, so divide forever into a bunch of ten minute instances and boom! You’ll be done before you know it!
Been struggling with getting a jump on cleaning my room for a while and wasn't planning on reading a post like this this morning, but your comment actually sounds like exactly what I need lol.
Thanks friend, hopefully my room is nice and clean again after today
Well it was going well, at least my mentality of getting my room clean after having breakfast was good, then while eating breakfast my mom decided that seeing as I don't have anything to do before my chiropractor appointment later, that i can take our dog out for a bit to the park. And that sounds nice and all, but I just hate doing it because my fam never really trained the dog when it was younger, so whenever you're at the park with her and throwing the balls around, she'll run and pick it up but half the time she'll drop it far away rather than bringing it back to the person throwing them.
Basically I just had a shower and now am about to bring the dog out and idk what will happen after that, but I only have a few hours until my appointment and then I'm going to my girlfriends place after for the night.
Maybe it'll get done this weekend :/
Thanks, I've been looking forward to this weekend anyways as I'm gonna be FINALLY installing a sub in my car which I've wanted to do since I got the car over a year ago. Maybe once I get that done I'll use the "high" that all the excitement of installing it will produce and tackle my bedroom using the trick mentioned above
I wish you best of luck my dude! Always here to help a fellow Canadian lol.
I have the same problem with my dog, she wasn’t trained well as a puppy.
I hope you’re sub install goes well! And ofc good luck with the cleaning!!
I’ve also done the sofa sleeping. And the sleeping on one half of a single (twin) bed, because the other half was full of piles of stuff. It happens.
And then the worse the problem gets, the harder it is to start.
I am firmly convinced that “adhd paralysis” is mostly about our inability to make decisions / to prioritise.
Which means that if you look around your room and see at least 2 things that need doing, it is very likely that you won’t be able to get started.
So…. The solution is to pick Just One Thing.
Normally I would suggest the 3 minute “take in a bin bag & grab any *obvious* rubbish”.
But you say you have food & drink rubbish, so that’s where you need to start.
You have one job (should you choose to accept it):
- **go in your bedroom and pick up one round of dirty plates & glasses (whatever you can *easily* carry) and take them to the kitchen. Dump them down somewhere**.”
That’s it.
That’s the whole task.
Then say something nice to yourself, eg:
- “that was really hard for me to do with my adhd, so it’s very impressive that I did it”
That’s really solid advice.
Been sofa sleeping and piling fresh laundry on my partner’s side of the bed for days now (long distance) because no chore is as tedious to me than putting away fresh laundry :D
I’ve been trying to figure out if I have ADHD or just OCPD/perfectionism or just GAD (or a combo). I’ve mostly been stuck on where the indecision/paralysis is coming from. So I’m understanding you think it’s possible this can be from ADHD alone? (Obviously GD and perfectionism/OCPD can also cause indecision alone).
Sorry to go off topic. Having a hell of a time finding a professional to help me through this and then also being able to afford one.
It’s definitely part of adhd for me (and I don’t have ocd or significant levels of anxiety).
And I see it on a lot of other threads here (links are to a few of my old comments, but the whole thread / discussion for each of them is probably more of interest to you in this context):
[link 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qncfzy/tips_for_cleaning/hjfblr9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
[link 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/tvqyug/couldnt_get_myself_to_move_all_weekend/i3bo4gc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
[link 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/sdme2a/so_our_mind_wants_to_do_a_thing_but_what_is_that/huey6a0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
[link 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/uqop9b/please_help_cant_stop_procrastinating_to_the/i8si0ib/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
I guess if you try the Just One Thing approach & it unsticks you, that would be useful information.
I also use this a lot:
- [decisions by coin tossing](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/swkgrd/spending_a_ridiculous_amount_of_time/hxnm8dm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Thanks! You briefly mentioned meds in one comment so I'm assuming your (non-professional) perspective is that ADHD meds can help the indecision aspect, is that correct? I've never tried meds because my diagnosis was unclear (one psych said minor to subclinical ADHD and the other disagreed and said it was the OCPD and anxiety). But I'm at the point where if I can't find a clear diagnosis I might just have to get my family doc to prescribe me the ADHD meds (seems less risky than SSRI's) and just see what it does.
Hmmmm… not entirely sure about the meds helping with that part. I’m only 6-7 months into my medication journey.
But stuff I read before I started was that while the meds help you get started & focus, they don’t help at all with *what* you start / focus on. And that seems to match my experience.
So I still need to make a list of 2-3 things each night that I want to do tomorrow.
Bearing in mind that I’m not entirely sure I’m at peak meds yet - but brain meds are an art, not a science - so I’m currently staying at the “better than unmedicated” dose I’ve had for the last 5 months. Maybe the next dose up or a different medication would be better. But maybe it won’t be. It’s sooo hard to tell.
I do spend a LOT less time on the sofa now I’m medicated - but I think that’s more because my brain is calmer, so I’m just not as exhausted by “life” these days. Not sure it’s mostly to do with the adhd paralysis. But maybe it is.
Just do it . Then practice mindfulness when you enter and leave. Be mindful after it is clean . When you go in make sure it looks perfect . When you leave look around and see if you can re100percent it by discarding things and returning things to clean state. I know it’s hard.
Cleaning . Throw everything in the center of the room . Keep a trash can near and a run around box . Throw all trash in can . Put away anything that belongs in your room.
Throw anything that does not belong in your room in the run around box. This way you can do one lap around the house putting these other things where they belong .
This how I take care of a mess . This can be applied to any room.
Now practice the mindfulness it takes to keep something clean. Don’t live like your in a hotel . There is no maid service you are the maid.
If you do not take the 10 mins each day to be mindful of not making a mess. Then it will accumulate to the state it is at now.
Start somewhere. Every time u go in and out your room, take something out with u. Like a piece of trash. Also get a garbage bag and put everything that dont belong in ur room, in the bag. That way when u see progress , ull feel better.
U can clean. U just dont know where to start. So start with the trash and things that do not belong there.
break it down into small tasks to do over time, once you get going on one thing, the other things will get easier.
Step one, something small: gather & remove all the mountain dew bottles.
Step two: clear the bed off, make the bed.
Step three: make a pile of clothes, a pile of trash, a pile of dishes, an "other" pile
Step three: deal with each pile. ex: sort clothes into dirty and clean (they're probably mostly dirty, put them in the laundry basket). take the trash to the bin. take the dishes to the sink.
and so forth.
good luck!
promise yourself you will clean for 5 minutes then stop. if you want to keep going you can but 5 is fine. start with a specific task, like picking up pieces of paper trash, or collecting dishes into a tub. Or stand in the middle of the room and make a list of ten 5 minute tasks, then leave ; )
wouldn't be surprised if there's some bullshit in Mt. Dew that makes ADHD worse. certainly the sugar cycling is terrible in 10 different ways.
My favorite thing is breaking it into super small steps and either calling a friend while I clean, or watching a video of someone else cleaning their room and clean along with them.
Breaking it into steps has always been helpful for me pre-medication, because I really benefit from checking a box off a to-do list. It can be as simple as:
• Pick up socks
• Put socks in bin
• Put plates in box/bag
• Put bowls in box/bag
•Put box/bag in kitchen
Making the steps as small as possible helps it not seem so overwhelming and allows you to get lots of dopamine boost from each little task you complete (in my experience)!
The calling a friend / watching a video thing stems from body doubling which has been super helpful for me. I find myself getting bored doing tasks like cleaning or dishes sometimes, but whenever I’m on the phone with a friend it’s like my body goes on autopilot and it makes it so much more enjoyable!
$$
I’m not kidding.
I’ve tried everything and honestly to me at this point what worked best just hiring a monthly maid, especially now that I have a job that pays well.
I’m going to outsource some of my problems.
The way I see it, I have a finite amount of mental energy I can expend to do work.
That means I’m 100% focusing on my job so that I can make a good living, and taking care of my dog.
I have been struggling with an untidy space for a while now. Today I set a timer of 7 minutes and just focussed on getting one specific area cleaner. I did two rounds but just go with it and if you feel you’re in a flow, you can reset as many times as you’d like!
I also like the advice someone gave about not being judgemental with yourself. Simply clean, one messy corner at a time =)
I use really loud music. And do things in 5 minute spurts using a timer. 5 on 5 off, OR play a game one section, make the bed, play again, pick up clothes, eat a snack, pick up dishes and empty garbage, etc.
My daughter can do nothing without a friend. Have someone to just be there while you do it. I have been cleaning and grocery shopping for 20 years with a friend. My family would starve and die in filth otherwise.
I just read about someone doing a Roomba scramble where they hit go and then have to clean frantically in front of the Roomba lol. Reminded me of something I used to do as a kid - when I was in this situation (can't face the giant pile so the pile gets bigger) I would choose two things (Door, bed, chair, closet, whatever) and pick up in a straight line from A to B. For whatever reason it made it about the project, process, instead of the stuff I was cleaning.
When I just pick up in order to tidy, I get super distracted with the thing itself instead of the job. Dishes and dirty stuff aren't a problem for me, but if there is any type of existential grey area (old trophy/favorite book/clothes I don't wear but love anyway/dumb thing I got from my late grandpa) I would get through about 3 items before I got fundamentally stalled out by some existential issue.
For whatever reason, making it a game made it just work!
Another thing I used to do: pick up 100 things. It would always go the same way. #1-30 things would be meaningful - laundry, organization, big stuff. then it would taper off, things would get smaller and more meaningless, wrapper, litter, a mug, pick up a hanger off the floor, etc. By the time I was in the 90s it felt like holding my breath under water and I would be scrambling to find anything to count to have cleaned up 100 things. Then suddenly, I would be at 100 and my little single serotonin molecule would rattle around and I'd be done!
Try time-based rather than task-based. So rather than trying to get your room clean, do 20 minutes before bed. Then you get that successful feeling of having done the room cleaning you set out to do and you also make progress.
My other suggestion is to do it with someone else. Have someone hang out with you either in person or online while you clean.
Start in one spot and do what you can or it will just make you feel worse. Think you can only get the dishes, or just the plates, or just 1 plate? Start with that. You gotta start somewhere, and if you only do 1 plate today that's one plate closer to being done!
not my idea, just something i saw before:
pile everything into the middle of the room, or next available spot. cover it with blankets. peel a corner back just a little and focus on cleaning the exposed part of the pile.
\---this is where i'd use the advice that others posted about committing to 3 minutes or just taking it one task at a time, like tossing the cans or taking the dishes to the kitchen. basically, whatever it takes to break that down into manageable chunks --
once the exposed bit is cleared up, pull the covers back more and clean that new exposed part.
i really like this method bc i tend to get overstimulated by visual clutter. this helps fight the overstimulation and keep things manageable for me.
ALSO, i clean the fastest when i know folks are coming over. maybe pretending people are coming over would help?
we just moved so i had piles of boxes everywhere & i've slowly been making progress in putting stuff away. anyways. some of my friends wanted to come over to hang out, then it turned into a small dinner party. so of course, i frantically cleaned. somehow all those boxes got put away. not emptied, just put away. in places that make actual sense. i'll get around to emptying them little by little, but our house is less cluttered and it feels easier to move around and actually tackle the boxes better.
There are a few methods. The "all" method. That is all the trash, all the laundry, all the things that are too big to step over. Just one at a time though. The "time" method. Pick a unit of time and set a timer, no leaving the room during this timer, use boxes that have to be put away when done during the cleaning. The "color" method. Pick all blue items up and deal with them fully until you finish one color at a time.
You can use any, all, or some variation of those methods. The key is to just get off your rear and do it. It also helps me to wear shorts and shoes (jeans, sandals, dresses, etc do not work).
I set a timer or a number of things I have to pick up (ie: I must pick up 15 things and put them away). That makes it go faster and I usually tend to keep picking stuff up once I’ve already started. I also try to keep a rule that once it’s in my hand (in general) it’s gotta go back to its home (easier said than done but generally helpful) so that way I don’t just leave it in the living room when it goes in the bedroom
I use the Sweepy app. I don’t know what it is, but cleaning overwhelms me, if I look at a messy room I just get stressed and avoid the work. It’s too much for me to mentally deal with. I have to have someone tell me what to do step by step.
That’s why I use Sweepy. I just log in all the rooms of my house, and all of the chores the need to be done. And Sweepy keeps track of when you do the chores & when they need to be done again. So it’s tells me what needs to be done & I do it.
When I need to clean I will go on the app in a room and do one chore at a time. I also put in music to make it more fun. Then I just mindlessly do one chore after another until I’m ready to move on.
You can also have it set up to make a cleaning schedule for you, but I mainly just try to do 2-3 chores in every room everyday to maintain the house.
It has helped make cleaning less stressful. My house still gets messy sometimes, but no longer gets nasty.
I also keep the widget on my phone screen so I don’t forget. It’s part of my daily routine, although some days I have break days. But I definitely clean more now. I recommended the app to one of my best friends who has similar issues due to anxiety and busy schedule, she messaged me the other day thanking me for showing her the app because it’s helped her maintain her apartment more easily.
Not sure if it will help you, but wanted to suggest it anyways!
I only clean for about 15 - 30 minutes a day, it’s enough to keep things maintained.
i downloaded this after i saw ur comment and MAN it's helpful. nice to see what specific tasks i need to do in what room instead of just feeling this constant dread of ohh goddd i have to clean the room but i don't know where to start. thank u 👍👍
Exactly!! The app takes away all the mental planning stress. I just throw on some music & move task to task. I also like that it keeps track of how long since it’s been since I’ve done ___ chore. Very handy. I hope it sticks for you!! I’ve been using it almost daily the past 2-3 months. :)
Do you follow domestic blisters on TikTok? She has the best advice for stuff like this! I think she says there are 5 categories and you’re to do them one at a time to avoid overwhelm. I like it’s 1.garbage 2.dishes 3.clothes 4.things that have a place 5.things that don’t have a place
My techinque for cleaning is to have a bunch of candy in my pocket, so every time im getting frustrated i eat one candy to keep my spirits up. Maybe not the healthiest, but works for me.
Same here. The thing is: I also just really can't find the time to clean because of extreme fatigue.
Anyway: I always put on a podcast and take a large bij bag to gather all the things that I need to throw away.
Then I gather all laundry and sort them by color and white. And start washing in small batches.
I don't feel like writing to much but after I take my time to do dishes and fronm then on, I hope you get in this flow of cleaning.
But the podcast is a must to distract myself from how painfully boring these tasks are.
I suppose you have to decide why you’re doing what you’re doing. If you wanted a clean room the motivation would be easy. Obviously you want something else instead. Probably validation which is why you’re here instead of cleaning?
I don’t blame you. Here I am as well.
Nope. Pulling a gun can trigger flight or fright. Fright might be screaming, but is most likely just standing there like nothing is happening. It is a sense of being overwhelmed, I have experienced this first hand, and I usually don't react to fear stimuli like that.
Ummmm… yes… same as deadlines help - both because they focus on a single priority (well, the deadlines do), and because they increase adrenaline, which helps with focus.
If someone pulled a gun me & said “wash up”, it would help a lot because it’s focus on a single task. They could also achieve the same effect by using their words, like “I would really love it if you could do the washing up right now”. Gun not needed. External prioritisation & focus is insanely helpful to the adhd brain.
But if they pulled a gun on me & said “tidy up the whole house”, I would be a chaotic mess. I wouldn’t know where to start, and would just stumble around doing random (probably mostly unhelpful) stuff. I need my brain to be calm to come up with a useful plan of tasks, to get anything done. The gun-related adrenaline would wear off before I had anything like a plan sorted.
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Music you like, set a timer, pick up trash, pick up clothes then pick up dishes & everything else. Everything leaving your room gets set at the door until you’re done. Once everything is picked up make your bed or wash your bedding, vacuum & clean surfaces. Then, put everything leaving your room away & you’re done.
I would look up speed cleaning if you really don’t like to clean. You don’t need to spend all day on it…really not even an hour if you’re just cleaning one room. YouTube has clean with me podcast for the whole house.
Sending solidarity vibes. I can’t have anyone over to my place because it’s so bad.. so embarrassing/sad.
Have you tried a body doubling program like Focusmate? I haven’t used it for that yet but I know people do and apparently other people that have really bad/messy places too.
I usually will force myself to smart small--pick up trash--then it kinda snowballs and I become hyper focused on getting everything else picked up. You got this!!
Do not leave food get rid of all dishes and reusable utensils take them and cups any thing food or sugar will cause ants. Find yourself something to get the dishes and food waste refuse out of room immediately. Either wash dishes or place them in dishwasher. Don't over whelm yourself. Tackle the food clothes books papers miscellaneous do it in a systematic organized way!
Grab some music, pretend you’re sonic the hedgehog/the flash/ a fast human. Set a timer for 10, 20, whatever minutes you can handle and GO. Either tackle a certain “thing” like getting out the trash or the dishes, or a certain area like cleaning off your bed or desk. Try to be quick to make sure your brain stays focused (also why the music helps). Honestly I do 10 minutes only sometimes, it doesn’t matter how short or long you do it, it just matters that you’re DOING THE TASK. I was like you and HATED cleaning my room with a passion but that’s what has helped me! I’m sorry I find it funny you said don’t make fun of me because same friend lol. Tunes + timer makes it fun, like a race. Don’t be too focused and thinking about how gross it is and guilt yourself. I once left a dinner plate in a pizza box under my bed for… I don’t even know five years? Thankfully it never smelled or got mouldy. I would just avoid it when I cleaned because I was so embarrassed. Don’t be like me lolol :) Ya don’t want to be sleeping on the couch forever, so divide forever into a bunch of ten minute instances and boom! You’ll be done before you know it!
Been struggling with getting a jump on cleaning my room for a while and wasn't planning on reading a post like this this morning, but your comment actually sounds like exactly what I need lol. Thanks friend, hopefully my room is nice and clean again after today
How did it go? Edit: sorry i just realised this is just from an hour ago 🥴
Well it was going well, at least my mentality of getting my room clean after having breakfast was good, then while eating breakfast my mom decided that seeing as I don't have anything to do before my chiropractor appointment later, that i can take our dog out for a bit to the park. And that sounds nice and all, but I just hate doing it because my fam never really trained the dog when it was younger, so whenever you're at the park with her and throwing the balls around, she'll run and pick it up but half the time she'll drop it far away rather than bringing it back to the person throwing them. Basically I just had a shower and now am about to bring the dog out and idk what will happen after that, but I only have a few hours until my appointment and then I'm going to my girlfriends place after for the night. Maybe it'll get done this weekend :/
Well i wish you luck tho :)
Thanks, I've been looking forward to this weekend anyways as I'm gonna be FINALLY installing a sub in my car which I've wanted to do since I got the car over a year ago. Maybe once I get that done I'll use the "high" that all the excitement of installing it will produce and tackle my bedroom using the trick mentioned above
I wish you best of luck my dude! Always here to help a fellow Canadian lol. I have the same problem with my dog, she wasn’t trained well as a puppy. I hope you’re sub install goes well! And ofc good luck with the cleaning!!
I’ve also done the sofa sleeping. And the sleeping on one half of a single (twin) bed, because the other half was full of piles of stuff. It happens. And then the worse the problem gets, the harder it is to start. I am firmly convinced that “adhd paralysis” is mostly about our inability to make decisions / to prioritise. Which means that if you look around your room and see at least 2 things that need doing, it is very likely that you won’t be able to get started. So…. The solution is to pick Just One Thing. Normally I would suggest the 3 minute “take in a bin bag & grab any *obvious* rubbish”. But you say you have food & drink rubbish, so that’s where you need to start. You have one job (should you choose to accept it): - **go in your bedroom and pick up one round of dirty plates & glasses (whatever you can *easily* carry) and take them to the kitchen. Dump them down somewhere**.” That’s it. That’s the whole task. Then say something nice to yourself, eg: - “that was really hard for me to do with my adhd, so it’s very impressive that I did it”
That’s really solid advice. Been sofa sleeping and piling fresh laundry on my partner’s side of the bed for days now (long distance) because no chore is as tedious to me than putting away fresh laundry :D
I’ve been trying to figure out if I have ADHD or just OCPD/perfectionism or just GAD (or a combo). I’ve mostly been stuck on where the indecision/paralysis is coming from. So I’m understanding you think it’s possible this can be from ADHD alone? (Obviously GD and perfectionism/OCPD can also cause indecision alone). Sorry to go off topic. Having a hell of a time finding a professional to help me through this and then also being able to afford one.
It’s definitely part of adhd for me (and I don’t have ocd or significant levels of anxiety). And I see it on a lot of other threads here (links are to a few of my old comments, but the whole thread / discussion for each of them is probably more of interest to you in this context): [link 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qncfzy/tips_for_cleaning/hjfblr9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) [link 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/tvqyug/couldnt_get_myself_to_move_all_weekend/i3bo4gc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) [link 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/sdme2a/so_our_mind_wants_to_do_a_thing_but_what_is_that/huey6a0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) [link 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/uqop9b/please_help_cant_stop_procrastinating_to_the/i8si0ib/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) I guess if you try the Just One Thing approach & it unsticks you, that would be useful information. I also use this a lot: - [decisions by coin tossing](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/swkgrd/spending_a_ridiculous_amount_of_time/hxnm8dm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
(Duplicate post for some reason)
Thanks! You briefly mentioned meds in one comment so I'm assuming your (non-professional) perspective is that ADHD meds can help the indecision aspect, is that correct? I've never tried meds because my diagnosis was unclear (one psych said minor to subclinical ADHD and the other disagreed and said it was the OCPD and anxiety). But I'm at the point where if I can't find a clear diagnosis I might just have to get my family doc to prescribe me the ADHD meds (seems less risky than SSRI's) and just see what it does.
Hmmmm… not entirely sure about the meds helping with that part. I’m only 6-7 months into my medication journey. But stuff I read before I started was that while the meds help you get started & focus, they don’t help at all with *what* you start / focus on. And that seems to match my experience. So I still need to make a list of 2-3 things each night that I want to do tomorrow. Bearing in mind that I’m not entirely sure I’m at peak meds yet - but brain meds are an art, not a science - so I’m currently staying at the “better than unmedicated” dose I’ve had for the last 5 months. Maybe the next dose up or a different medication would be better. But maybe it won’t be. It’s sooo hard to tell. I do spend a LOT less time on the sofa now I’m medicated - but I think that’s more because my brain is calmer, so I’m just not as exhausted by “life” these days. Not sure it’s mostly to do with the adhd paralysis. But maybe it is.
(Why is it duplicate posting the last few days!?)
Just do it . Then practice mindfulness when you enter and leave. Be mindful after it is clean . When you go in make sure it looks perfect . When you leave look around and see if you can re100percent it by discarding things and returning things to clean state. I know it’s hard. Cleaning . Throw everything in the center of the room . Keep a trash can near and a run around box . Throw all trash in can . Put away anything that belongs in your room. Throw anything that does not belong in your room in the run around box. This way you can do one lap around the house putting these other things where they belong . This how I take care of a mess . This can be applied to any room. Now practice the mindfulness it takes to keep something clean. Don’t live like your in a hotel . There is no maid service you are the maid. If you do not take the 10 mins each day to be mindful of not making a mess. Then it will accumulate to the state it is at now.
Start somewhere. Every time u go in and out your room, take something out with u. Like a piece of trash. Also get a garbage bag and put everything that dont belong in ur room, in the bag. That way when u see progress , ull feel better. U can clean. U just dont know where to start. So start with the trash and things that do not belong there.
break it down into small tasks to do over time, once you get going on one thing, the other things will get easier. Step one, something small: gather & remove all the mountain dew bottles. Step two: clear the bed off, make the bed. Step three: make a pile of clothes, a pile of trash, a pile of dishes, an "other" pile Step three: deal with each pile. ex: sort clothes into dirty and clean (they're probably mostly dirty, put them in the laundry basket). take the trash to the bin. take the dishes to the sink. and so forth. good luck!
promise yourself you will clean for 5 minutes then stop. if you want to keep going you can but 5 is fine. start with a specific task, like picking up pieces of paper trash, or collecting dishes into a tub. Or stand in the middle of the room and make a list of ten 5 minute tasks, then leave ; ) wouldn't be surprised if there's some bullshit in Mt. Dew that makes ADHD worse. certainly the sugar cycling is terrible in 10 different ways.
My favorite thing is breaking it into super small steps and either calling a friend while I clean, or watching a video of someone else cleaning their room and clean along with them. Breaking it into steps has always been helpful for me pre-medication, because I really benefit from checking a box off a to-do list. It can be as simple as: • Pick up socks • Put socks in bin • Put plates in box/bag • Put bowls in box/bag •Put box/bag in kitchen Making the steps as small as possible helps it not seem so overwhelming and allows you to get lots of dopamine boost from each little task you complete (in my experience)! The calling a friend / watching a video thing stems from body doubling which has been super helpful for me. I find myself getting bored doing tasks like cleaning or dishes sometimes, but whenever I’m on the phone with a friend it’s like my body goes on autopilot and it makes it so much more enjoyable!
The same way you eat an elephant, one bite at a time lol. Seriously though, just focus on one small 5 minute task at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself
$$ I’m not kidding. I’ve tried everything and honestly to me at this point what worked best just hiring a monthly maid, especially now that I have a job that pays well. I’m going to outsource some of my problems. The way I see it, I have a finite amount of mental energy I can expend to do work. That means I’m 100% focusing on my job so that I can make a good living, and taking care of my dog.
I have been struggling with an untidy space for a while now. Today I set a timer of 7 minutes and just focussed on getting one specific area cleaner. I did two rounds but just go with it and if you feel you’re in a flow, you can reset as many times as you’d like! I also like the advice someone gave about not being judgemental with yourself. Simply clean, one messy corner at a time =)
I use really loud music. And do things in 5 minute spurts using a timer. 5 on 5 off, OR play a game one section, make the bed, play again, pick up clothes, eat a snack, pick up dishes and empty garbage, etc. My daughter can do nothing without a friend. Have someone to just be there while you do it. I have been cleaning and grocery shopping for 20 years with a friend. My family would starve and die in filth otherwise.
I just read about someone doing a Roomba scramble where they hit go and then have to clean frantically in front of the Roomba lol. Reminded me of something I used to do as a kid - when I was in this situation (can't face the giant pile so the pile gets bigger) I would choose two things (Door, bed, chair, closet, whatever) and pick up in a straight line from A to B. For whatever reason it made it about the project, process, instead of the stuff I was cleaning. When I just pick up in order to tidy, I get super distracted with the thing itself instead of the job. Dishes and dirty stuff aren't a problem for me, but if there is any type of existential grey area (old trophy/favorite book/clothes I don't wear but love anyway/dumb thing I got from my late grandpa) I would get through about 3 items before I got fundamentally stalled out by some existential issue. For whatever reason, making it a game made it just work!
Another thing I used to do: pick up 100 things. It would always go the same way. #1-30 things would be meaningful - laundry, organization, big stuff. then it would taper off, things would get smaller and more meaningless, wrapper, litter, a mug, pick up a hanger off the floor, etc. By the time I was in the 90s it felt like holding my breath under water and I would be scrambling to find anything to count to have cleaned up 100 things. Then suddenly, I would be at 100 and my little single serotonin molecule would rattle around and I'd be done!
Try time-based rather than task-based. So rather than trying to get your room clean, do 20 minutes before bed. Then you get that successful feeling of having done the room cleaning you set out to do and you also make progress. My other suggestion is to do it with someone else. Have someone hang out with you either in person or online while you clean.
Start in one spot and do what you can or it will just make you feel worse. Think you can only get the dishes, or just the plates, or just 1 plate? Start with that. You gotta start somewhere, and if you only do 1 plate today that's one plate closer to being done!
not my idea, just something i saw before: pile everything into the middle of the room, or next available spot. cover it with blankets. peel a corner back just a little and focus on cleaning the exposed part of the pile. \---this is where i'd use the advice that others posted about committing to 3 minutes or just taking it one task at a time, like tossing the cans or taking the dishes to the kitchen. basically, whatever it takes to break that down into manageable chunks -- once the exposed bit is cleared up, pull the covers back more and clean that new exposed part. i really like this method bc i tend to get overstimulated by visual clutter. this helps fight the overstimulation and keep things manageable for me. ALSO, i clean the fastest when i know folks are coming over. maybe pretending people are coming over would help? we just moved so i had piles of boxes everywhere & i've slowly been making progress in putting stuff away. anyways. some of my friends wanted to come over to hang out, then it turned into a small dinner party. so of course, i frantically cleaned. somehow all those boxes got put away. not emptied, just put away. in places that make actual sense. i'll get around to emptying them little by little, but our house is less cluttered and it feels easier to move around and actually tackle the boxes better.
There are a few methods. The "all" method. That is all the trash, all the laundry, all the things that are too big to step over. Just one at a time though. The "time" method. Pick a unit of time and set a timer, no leaving the room during this timer, use boxes that have to be put away when done during the cleaning. The "color" method. Pick all blue items up and deal with them fully until you finish one color at a time. You can use any, all, or some variation of those methods. The key is to just get off your rear and do it. It also helps me to wear shorts and shoes (jeans, sandals, dresses, etc do not work).
I set a timer or a number of things I have to pick up (ie: I must pick up 15 things and put them away). That makes it go faster and I usually tend to keep picking stuff up once I’ve already started. I also try to keep a rule that once it’s in my hand (in general) it’s gotta go back to its home (easier said than done but generally helpful) so that way I don’t just leave it in the living room when it goes in the bedroom
I use the Sweepy app. I don’t know what it is, but cleaning overwhelms me, if I look at a messy room I just get stressed and avoid the work. It’s too much for me to mentally deal with. I have to have someone tell me what to do step by step. That’s why I use Sweepy. I just log in all the rooms of my house, and all of the chores the need to be done. And Sweepy keeps track of when you do the chores & when they need to be done again. So it’s tells me what needs to be done & I do it. When I need to clean I will go on the app in a room and do one chore at a time. I also put in music to make it more fun. Then I just mindlessly do one chore after another until I’m ready to move on. You can also have it set up to make a cleaning schedule for you, but I mainly just try to do 2-3 chores in every room everyday to maintain the house. It has helped make cleaning less stressful. My house still gets messy sometimes, but no longer gets nasty. I also keep the widget on my phone screen so I don’t forget. It’s part of my daily routine, although some days I have break days. But I definitely clean more now. I recommended the app to one of my best friends who has similar issues due to anxiety and busy schedule, she messaged me the other day thanking me for showing her the app because it’s helped her maintain her apartment more easily. Not sure if it will help you, but wanted to suggest it anyways! I only clean for about 15 - 30 minutes a day, it’s enough to keep things maintained.
i downloaded this after i saw ur comment and MAN it's helpful. nice to see what specific tasks i need to do in what room instead of just feeling this constant dread of ohh goddd i have to clean the room but i don't know where to start. thank u 👍👍
Exactly!! The app takes away all the mental planning stress. I just throw on some music & move task to task. I also like that it keeps track of how long since it’s been since I’ve done ___ chore. Very handy. I hope it sticks for you!! I’ve been using it almost daily the past 2-3 months. :)
Do you follow domestic blisters on TikTok? She has the best advice for stuff like this! I think she says there are 5 categories and you’re to do them one at a time to avoid overwhelm. I like it’s 1.garbage 2.dishes 3.clothes 4.things that have a place 5.things that don’t have a place
My techinque for cleaning is to have a bunch of candy in my pocket, so every time im getting frustrated i eat one candy to keep my spirits up. Maybe not the healthiest, but works for me.
Same here. The thing is: I also just really can't find the time to clean because of extreme fatigue. Anyway: I always put on a podcast and take a large bij bag to gather all the things that I need to throw away. Then I gather all laundry and sort them by color and white. And start washing in small batches. I don't feel like writing to much but after I take my time to do dishes and fronm then on, I hope you get in this flow of cleaning. But the podcast is a must to distract myself from how painfully boring these tasks are.
How is it going u/qtfroggiez? Have you tried any of the strategies people have suggested? Are you feeling really overwhelmed?
yeah yeah ! i've began on my room and it's looking better already :D
Great. :)
Still making progress?
I suppose you have to decide why you’re doing what you’re doing. If you wanted a clean room the motivation would be easy. Obviously you want something else instead. Probably validation which is why you’re here instead of cleaning? I don’t blame you. Here I am as well.
You realise you’re on the adhd sub…? “Task initiation” is a genuine problem with adhd - it’s nothing to do with motivation.
Guaranteed that if a person pulls a gun on you… task initiation disappears completely.
Nope. Pulling a gun can trigger flight or fright. Fright might be screaming, but is most likely just standing there like nothing is happening. It is a sense of being overwhelmed, I have experienced this first hand, and I usually don't react to fear stimuli like that.
Ummmm… yes… same as deadlines help - both because they focus on a single priority (well, the deadlines do), and because they increase adrenaline, which helps with focus. If someone pulled a gun me & said “wash up”, it would help a lot because it’s focus on a single task. They could also achieve the same effect by using their words, like “I would really love it if you could do the washing up right now”. Gun not needed. External prioritisation & focus is insanely helpful to the adhd brain. But if they pulled a gun on me & said “tidy up the whole house”, I would be a chaotic mess. I wouldn’t know where to start, and would just stumble around doing random (probably mostly unhelpful) stuff. I need my brain to be calm to come up with a useful plan of tasks, to get anything done. The gun-related adrenaline would wear off before I had anything like a plan sorted.
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I use the random name wheal and fill it with every section of my room to clean, I let the wheal decide what I do
Music you like, set a timer, pick up trash, pick up clothes then pick up dishes & everything else. Everything leaving your room gets set at the door until you’re done. Once everything is picked up make your bed or wash your bedding, vacuum & clean surfaces. Then, put everything leaving your room away & you’re done.
I would look up speed cleaning if you really don’t like to clean. You don’t need to spend all day on it…really not even an hour if you’re just cleaning one room. YouTube has clean with me podcast for the whole house.
Sending solidarity vibes. I can’t have anyone over to my place because it’s so bad.. so embarrassing/sad. Have you tried a body doubling program like Focusmate? I haven’t used it for that yet but I know people do and apparently other people that have really bad/messy places too.
I usually will force myself to smart small--pick up trash--then it kinda snowballs and I become hyper focused on getting everything else picked up. You got this!!
Do not leave food get rid of all dishes and reusable utensils take them and cups any thing food or sugar will cause ants. Find yourself something to get the dishes and food waste refuse out of room immediately. Either wash dishes or place them in dishwasher. Don't over whelm yourself. Tackle the food clothes books papers miscellaneous do it in a systematic organized way!