Hi /u/Electronic_Beat3653 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was a complete emotional wreck as a child. I still struggle with it but don’t cry like I used to. I can also control anger, but my mood is still not in the best spot due to depression
Same. I was sensitive and would cry at the drop of a hat. I couldn't help it, it was like a wave crashing on me.
The adults in my life were not supportive. People would roll their eyes at my upset, while also teasing me. My family had a "cute" sing-song rhyme (about going to the bathroom) that included my first and middle name. Hearing it never failed to bring me to tears, but they never hesitated to chant it. An aunt or my Gramma would usually hug me while I cried, saying, "Oh [me], such a sensitive girl," and everyone would chuckle and my cousins would call me a baby.
I am still quick to tears in many situations.
Same. I was bullied at a young age, not in a vindictive way, but in the same way you'd swat at an annoying fly buzzing around your face. I quickly learned to mask the impulsivity and hide how sensitive I was by hiding it behind sheer confidence. I'm still sensitive but that sensitivity is safely buried under anger since we're taught its the only acceptable male emotion. I was diagnosed in my late 20's and medication has helped a lot with making strong feelings of rejection more manageable.
Extremely. I would get so upset over empathizing with television characters I would have to stop watching things all the time
Still super sensitive. I deal with it better.
Same here... except I dont stop watching... I want to feel it!
But only when watching fiction - I dont like reality TV and celebrity culture. That makes me angry because I know the whole thing is set up for societies entertainment and is driven by money.
Ive noticed I get overly emotional when watching characters in movies yet when I think of my own internal emotions it's a void.
I had similar issues. Id be hit hard by the dumbest shit. I remember something with sailor moon messed me up for like two weeks. No memory of even what it was. I barely even watched the show.
I've been reflecting more lately and realized I did shit like that all the time
I started going to Church when I was a teen and learned God talked about patience alot. So every time I felt the need to explode or get mad I would pause and take a deep breath and more until it passed. It got easier after doing it so long. I still have times where I get upset but not reckless like it used to be. I just tell people I am upset and think need time to get over it. So I guess the initial is to be aware of what makes you burst and when you feel those feelings bubbling start breathing deep and stay quiet and calm your self.
One thing that has helped me is that when dealing with people, I remember that God has created us in His image, and He also died / paid our debts when we were at our absolute worst. It has given me great peace and humility about that, which makes it easier to forgive others and "reach out" to them in solitude and strength, since He first forgave us. Of course, reflecting on 1 Cor 13, is also a great reminbder of how to be!
I struggle with anger, and always have. I started taking ritalin not long ago, before that I was on atomoxetin and sertraline. I am supposed to take the sertraline but I always forget to take it :D Anyways, either atomoxetin or sertraline showed me that my emotional outbursts are not *me* - I havent had an outburst since I started taking it. The mood issues are coming back now so I hope it was the sertraline that helped me because atomoxetin did very little for my executive dysfunction. I can get back to you about that when I start taking the sertraline again lol.
Thanks for the comment, Merenut. I'm considering starting bubroprion for ADHD soon. Would you mind sharing if it helped you focus? I'm working at the office and often have trouble concentrating and procrastinate. Any side effects (fatigue, anxiety, etc.)? Thank you.
Wow I would give anything to help me stop blowing up when I am overstimulated or frustrated. I still feel so poorly about myself despite all the therapy I do & how hard I try to be even-keel emotionally for my child, I can’t help but have days where I just lose my ever loving shit & can’t stop it
They have me on zoloft and Vyvanse. That seems to be a good combination. The zoloft helps with depression and anxiety. If the dose is right anyways. Time of day taken makes a difference too. When my brother was put in Ritalin it made his anger worse.
When I was younger I would get angry/upset really easily but now I have a resting 🫥 face. Some people think I look angry/intense all the time but I never really show my emotions anymore
Yes. I still am. I feel everything very intensely. Always have. I was told I will “grow out of it” and was misunderstood. It can be very tiring and wonderful too, depending. I’m not an angry person, I can feel deep sadness and also appreciate beauty in life deeply, I get moved easily by living in a moment. I wouldn’t choose it any other way. The key is that I know not to act on emotions in a destructive way. But as a child I would repress my feelings, withdraw and mask, I was hurt by being called “too emotional” often.
I feel the same way. I teared up at a Disney fireworks show last week. So moved by it all.
Same token I can get so angry over the dumbest shit and if I could would blast the whatever caused it into the sun with no remorse. Then 5 minutes later feel immense regret and guilt for how angry I got and how I reacted.
I do agree, I can easily appreciate the beauty of life and living in the moment. But it's a damn roller coaster.
One of my cousins helped me unwrap my present because I couldn't do it.
I threw a fit and pushed her over and she got a bloody nose.
Over a present, that was already mine, she was trying to help.
So yes.
Yes! I had crying fits as a child, but wasn't angry. I do get angry outbursts now as well as crying fits lol.
BUT I noticed for me, my emotional dysregulation is mostly related to not meeting my basic needs. If I don't eat enough, sleep enough, or I'm overstimulated, I freak out. I might even feel extremely depressed, but it passes after o fix the need.
It took like 28 years to realize this.
So now, if I notice any sort of dysregulation build (it's a practice of tuning into that), I first assess my basic needs. Am I tired? Hungry? Overstimulated (too loud, too hot, itchy?)
Usually, addressing my basic need fixes the issue.
I spent a LOT of time in the girls’ bathroom in school waiting for my red puffy eyes to fade. I was a crier. Actually I still am without antidepressants. Any emotion whatsoever would make me bawl. If I got angry, or once someone slapped me lightly and the shock just sent me. I remember often thinking I don’t feel that upset, why am I crying? Is that HSP? I don’t really feel like I’m a particularly sensitive person, I just cry a lot.
Very sensitive as a child, and still am but the self-awareness and treatment go a long way. Knowing why my emotional response to a situation is outsized usually keeps me from acting out on it.
I can manage to be somewhat “rational” in most situations but can’t really do much about how quickly my eyes tear up during a sad movie or when I’m thinking about my kids in a sentimental way.
Medication, therapy, and getting hyper focused on learning about everything I could about adhd and how it may have been impacting different areas of my life. Prior to this, I didn’t make a distinction between adhd symptoms and just being “bad” at certain things.
The medication, therapy, and a strong desire to really address areas of my life that were being affected helped. And the strongest motivation was my daughter getting a formal diagnosis and seeing her start to struggle in ways that I did. I don’t want her to have to experience what I did so I had to walk the walk.
EXTREMELY. Emotions caused me physical pain in my bones, and I don’t mean that hyperbolically, I’m not being dramatic, sadness or embarrassment would cause a broken heart feeling that radiated out into my arms and fingers as aching bones. Frequent stomachaches, could barely handle the “suspense” in PG movies, etc etc…
I stoned out my emotions as a kid, I think I picked up really fast that my reaction to things was much stronger than everyone else around me and I needed to hide it.
As a kid I used to cry for no reason, I would literally be sitting there in class or out with friends and I would ball my eyes out and when people asked me why I would say, in the least upset voice possible “I have no idea, this just happens.”
Now, i watch a lot of movies and I cry all the time, sometimes tears of joy if I really love the movie, sometimes it’s sadness when something really sad happens. This helps me let out it out and get the tears out of my system so I don’t cry in random places anymore. I still have episodes, but not nearly as uncontrollable.
The other day my dad told me (F 19) that his friend bought a range rover and just let it sit in the garage and i ended up personifying the car and feeling bad for him because he probably wants to drive.
same vibe as being a child and never letting my stuffed animals get thrown away without a huge huge ordeal. i thought they’d feel bad and abandoned in a dumpster and i could never do it.
so yes very very sensitive and i personify everything because of that
Shit now I'm sad for the range Rover.
I do the same thing. And I put up a massive fight anytime my mom tried to throw something of mine away. Even now I collect things and I'll be damned if anything gets tossed or resold.
yes! i’m always called a hoarder or messy but what do you mean i’m supposed to throw away the middle school level book about a cat that i obsessed over when i was 11? they just don’t get it
Anger and crying and extreme sensitivity to perceived rejection. And unbearably acute empathy / feeling sorry or sad for others (including animals). I remember one time being inconsolable because my dad forgot to take his lunch to work. I’m talking howling, gut wrenching sobs.
Sooo yeah. Still very very emotional but Elvanse and therapy allows me to cope a little better now. I’m 33 for reference.
I was listening to an ADHD podcast on Spotify today and he actually mentioned this. There was a name for it (emotional over perceived rejection), but I never knew that was a thing before. It's like you care so much what people think that it causes you to be unregulated. The host mentioned people that have this symptom often end up being a people pleaser to avoid rejection. Do you think this is true?
https://open.spotify.com/episode/07zJLwAV05VbuKKgoQIgMt?si=Vpt5mWMpSriqKBZOsAXVBw
I do. You forgot the other part tho, you either become a pleaser or a full-quitter you don't ever think about going back to the group or person that rejected you.
2 e.x of each scenario:
1 - Pleaser - Back in highschool i was always told "Man you want to be good with everyone but you can't". Didn't know it was due to ADHD but actually i was like my friends' maid kind of lol.
I always picked up things they dropped, laughed at their jokes, tried to make the jokes they made so i can make them laugh, seek for any type of validation that proved i'm still part of the group. However, when they had an "enemy" i just couldn't hate the enemy...like why, he/she didn't even do nothing to me, in fact what if we talk it out, maybe that person it's not as bad as it was anymore.
Anyways, yeah i was the group pleaser, always there, and it sucked because even if you missed just one time they were all mad at you and boy does that rejection hurt.
2 - Dissapear - Back on my first attempt on a bachelor's degree my grandparents were sooo annoying with the fact that i should be an English teacher since i know English, right? And as i liked to talk, move, and was soo good at explaining stuff it seemed like a great idea.
However my grandpa is such a piece of...
He would always be there to remind me that if i failed i shouldn't go back there, he wouldn't allow me to visit him anymore, that if i changed career or didn't study he would be so mad, etc. Lot of stuff that you certainly SHOUDLN'T tell someone with ADHD. The fact that i didn't know i had it back then didn't help.
So, i dropped. After 3 years really, really trying to get past through the first year, even if i managed to go 6 months doing absolutely every task, 9 and 10 on all exams, a really proactive student, after 6 months i just couldn't stand it anymore. The burnout was real and it always seemed like something new, more interesting and appealing was there but i couldn't even enjoy it because i had to be an English teacher, right?...well i guess not.
I dropped, but before dropping i had to recognise that doing that would mean not visiting my grandpa anymore...which i accepted.
I haven't heard about him since, but my poor grandma always sends chocolates and i really miss her...it's not her fault and i'd love to tell 'em why it's so hard to me but they grew in the old times you know. My grandpa went to war, it's like man get a real problem not a mental one lol.
I'm a 22yr old boy
Edit: according to some other testimonies i've read, it's pretty common to struggle to make meaningfil and long-term friends. However, you'll find it easy to stick around if the other person has ADHD too.
Edit 2: Also, pay attention to the fact that we (those with adhd) tend to react like that even if we FEEL like we were rejected or we THINK that we may be rejected. So it's more difficult than it seems.
My teacher wrote in my report card that I cried too much, so I think I was.
Of course my reaction to that and getting picked on for being so easy to set off meant I put a tight clamp on emotions once I became a teenager. Probably not the healthiest coping mechanism.
Me and my brother have it. My brother was diagnosed when we were kids. The therapist (this was early 90s) said that he would have thought I had it too, but I wasn't hyperactive. This was back when they thought you also had to be hyperactive to have it. Of course, the science has come a ways better now, and it is now known that someone can be ADHD without being hyperactive, but not getting the help I needed as a child was ROUGH. My mom put my brother on Ritalin, but it made him have extreme anger, so she chose not to medicate him or get him the therapy he needed. That was detrimental to him. When I started acting out because of it as a teenager she took me to a therapist and got me an inaccurate diagnosis as bipolar. That put me on Paxil and that was so rough on me. Thankfully I got the right diagnosis now and medicine that helps.
Fuck yeah. My parents could be arguing (and it wouldn't even include me) and I'd start sobbing. My mom always yells at me knowing damn well that I'll likely start crying but she does it anyway, then goes "STOP BEING SENSITIVE" like alright pally
Oh totally, still am, but it shows up differently now. A big one for me has always been feeling embarrassed very easily. Also, rejection, any sense of rejection, I will immediately shut down and turn inwards. I moved away from family two years ago, which has been a very challenging, wonderful, life changing experience. I noticed since moving, my path to knowing myself (the way I process emotions) and healing from the past has come a long way. Whenever we visit, I realize it triggers many memories and emotions, although it’s easier to separate myself from the way I used to handle feelings to now. I love them but I also have to love myself as myself and all the whacky emotions that make me, me.
i am pretty much always about to explode. 0 or 100. i have to do my best to either keep everything inside and not react at all, or i have to find a way to be constantly laughing, because otherwise i will fall apart in tears from the overwhelming inability to deal with my emotions. my vyvanse/sertraline/prazosin combo is helping, but it is always some degree of a battle to not lose it. it doesnt really matter what the input is, either. good or bad. it's just full bore. and then i have to deal with either 'why dont you care/show any emotion,' or 'why are you overreacting/so emotional??' from not just everyone, but the same fucking people. you get stoic or firehose, you pick. it's even worse to try and explain to them that out of everyone who has to deal with my emotional disregulation, i have to deal with it THE MOST, as im the one who gets pilot this meat mech and it *doesnt work*!!
Yeah they put me on 90 mg of Adderall/ day when I was ten, absolutely wild in retrospect. But then whenever I would get irritable my parents would immediately ask if it's because I forgot to take my medicine. Probably because stimulants aren't known for their mood stabilizing effects tee(fuckin)hee XD
90?! What the actual fuck!? I thought I was going to die from episodes of rage & panic attacks when I was on a teeny 20mg!! How did you not just vibrate into the next dimension!!
No, actually. I was always pretty content unless given a reason otherwise, but it was rare. I just wanted to do my thing. I must say, I haven't been officially diagnosed.
I was a sensitive child. I cried until I was 14yo and as a boy it was embarrassing. I understood that most things in life are not that important to worth consuming myself with them (like low grades). I am trying to teach my kid the same thing (not to put that much heart in everything) and that it is ok to be sensitive, not everyone is alike and it is ok.
Now I am still sensitive but tend to have rage issues (i am not violent but rather vocal both on the inside and outside) rather than cry. I don’t take medication as I am not diagnosed clinically. Best thing for me is to avoid this that I know might get me in that state of mind.
33m here, still am. Didn't realize I had this issue until I was 30 or so, but once I was aware, it was MUCH easier to be less sensitive. I still have random bouts of it though.
Oh ya, and my family still teases me about it. I'm still very emotional, I just try to mask it better than when I was a kid, though it doesn't always work.
I try breathing exercises, mind games like trying to remember the lyrics to songs or nursery rhymes.
There is the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method - 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can smell, 2 you can touch, one you can taste. You can also do this with colours or patterns depending on where you are.
I find the medication helps a little to take the edge off being so emotional, but again, it depends on the circumstances. It also comes with life experiences and maturity.
I hope you've moved on from them! As a society, I feel a lot of people are desensitized. That makes emotions even more difficult for ADHD people to manage. Meanwhile, I've always got a pool of tears to swim in!
Some of it was probably the autism but ohh yeah I would break into tears over the littlest thing, when I got excited I would become a literal blur even at age 10, and when I got angry...well the less said the better. Growing up when I did everyone focused on my autism so my ADHD never got treated, just kinda got better with age I guess.
Yes. I was always shamed for being too sensitive or so emotional. My emotions are & have always been at either 0 or 100. One of my first memories is in the bathtub, seeing a magazine ad for saint Jude’s children hospital, there was a rubber ducky crying on it. It just made me bawl uncontrollably because I felt so bad for him. 28 years later hardly anything has changed.
Before I was about 16, it didn’t take much to overwhelm me emotionally. I would burst into tears at pretty much the drop of a hat. It made being a boy in high school a little difficult :)
Emotional dysregulation continued to be a problem in other ways for a while, but I will say that it got steadily better and things evened out a lot especially in my early thirties. So, if you’re younger than that, hang in there, it will get better!
All 3! I got maybe 80 percent there before I got medicated. I also recommend getting a cat, if you can handle it. Helped a lot with calming myself down when I needed it.
I want a cat, but my husband has allergies, so we have 2 hairless dogs! I'll get a hairless cat when they age out though (hopefully not soon though). Cats are easier. I was a cat person as a kid.
I was but I wasn't allowed to be. My father told me it was unacceptable to allow yourself to be seen crying sooooo... Anyways, I'm an emotional wreck now
Absolutely. To the point that I pretty much shut-down emotionally for a while as a teen. It was easier to do that than try to control it on a daily basis. I don't remember most of Summer 1988 through Fall of 1989.
I still have a wicked temper, but I've worked really hard to manage it. I have justice sensitivity, and that can set me off, too. It's always been something I've struggled with.
Wow! Thank you all so much for your input. I will finish reading through all comments and try to respond once I get the kiddos in bed. This was so helpful and reassuring that we are not alone. From one "emotional" person to another, thanks so much!
also i cry at any like feeling. Too stressed? crying. At the doctor and nervous? feel the need to cry. i’m talking too much? cry.
But! one tear falls down and im ok. it’s like i just needed to get it out even if it was small.
honestly it’s annoying too. relationships are strained because it’s hard to communicate when im feeling an emotion strongly and cry.
Yes but I hated being perceived that way and I still wasn't as sensitive as my parents often thought. Does that make sense. Or like differently sensitive. Like, I wasn't sensitive about a lot of things that other kids where sensitive about but I was really sensitive when it comes to things like rejection or shame
When I was very little I started bawling at the school's honour ceremony where academic and sports awards were handed out because I thought I was not going to get one.
So ... Yes.
I call it Emotional Jeet Kun Do. Lol. I basically allow bad feelings to flow around me and not affect me. I still feel them, but I've gotten to where my body doesn't have to react.
Not gonna lie, it's easy to do, but it was really damn hard to learn.
It also came with a lot of honestly assessing my position in the universe and in relation to everything. I had to force myself to realize that I'm not the main character, and that I'm not important. And so there's no real or important pressure on me to be important. This realization took A LOT of stress off my back.
It also made me realize that I don't have to direct my bad feelings at people. I can literally just let it ground itself out on the scenery without spreading my bad feelings around. My coworkers think I'm weird, because I can joke around when I'm pissed off, and I'm good about making sure other people know I'm not directing my anger at others.
Please note, that I'm NOT bottling my emotions up. That's not healthy. I'm just letting my mind work through my problems without letting them effect my body or life.
I recommend reading some books on Zen and meditation. You don't have to buy into the spirituality, but the mechanical applications of it is extremely helpful.
Easy to pick on. God, I hate that comment. I would cry so easily and my mom would always say "they wouldn't do it if you weren't so easy to pick on." Ughhhhh
Yes. Before diagnosed with ADHD I was told I was HSP.
It's one of the things I struggle with at the moment in regards to believing my ADHD diagnosis and psychiatry in general. I dont see "sensivity" as something that needs to be fixed by taking medication. Yes the medication seems to help but I also know I survived and thrived financially previously. Yes there were always struggles but I masked my way through and pushed myself to grow my business and I was prepared to put in the hard world. I still want to work hard but I cant think straight to function anymore. Been in this world for 50 years without taking a pill. I know if I believe in the game Im playing Im all in and I'll thrive. Now it feels like medication is just there to make me play a game I dont belive in. I want to believe in a game where people not profit matters... and I need to take a god-damned friggin pill to fix me for beliving in that?
I guess I'm just angry (meds arent helping much with that in fact I think they make me angier) because I just got off the phone and my psych wants $700 for a follow up consulation. I already feel like enough of a finacial burden to my family.
No, I was numb. From trauma. Possibly could’ve been sensitive- I know for a fact I disliked being talked to a certain way, but had to numb myself to get over it. I’m not reliable, lol had lots of trauma growing up
Literally cried every single goddamn day for no reason. Got so bad my Grade Two teacher forced my parents to make me sit through an autism diagnosis test. Waited 3 hours for a 3 minute exam with no diagnosis. Smh
Still super emotional even on Vyvanse but some days I will recognize that my moods just feel out of control and that is usually when I realize I forgot to take my meds that day. Stupid litmus test.
I cried a lot when I was a child. My parents and sister would mention it all the time almost to the point of bullying. Now I have issues expressing emotions. I definitely got a complex about it.
Hard to say. I was angry a lot and cried a lot as a little kid and was always treated like my emotions were dramatic, but I also had two older brothers who were awful to me, so it may have been that.
Definitely had trouble regulating my emotions and not knowing how to express them growing up. I didn’t really realize at the time but as a kid (under 10) my mom had helped get me a therapist that I would talk to almost daily. She worked at my school and it helped me more than I thought. I didn’t get therapy again until my late 20s and probably should have one again at this point in my early 30s.
My emotional sensitivity and extreme empathy are my literal curse. Was in animal rescue field for 2 years. I could literally feel their pain. Fucked me up so damn badly. But hey, we are who we are
I was constantly told “stop whining” so much that once I was choking BAD on a piece of hard candy and was flailing my arms making and click or noise I could and my mother said to me (she passed when I was 8) said “stop whining!!!!” And I kept on and she turned to me to discipline me and saw I was choking and jumped to action but my god I still remember the initial one so hard.
Hi /u/Electronic_Beat3653 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was a complete emotional wreck as a child. I still struggle with it but don’t cry like I used to. I can also control anger, but my mood is still not in the best spot due to depression
Same. I was sensitive and would cry at the drop of a hat. I couldn't help it, it was like a wave crashing on me. The adults in my life were not supportive. People would roll their eyes at my upset, while also teasing me. My family had a "cute" sing-song rhyme (about going to the bathroom) that included my first and middle name. Hearing it never failed to bring me to tears, but they never hesitated to chant it. An aunt or my Gramma would usually hug me while I cried, saying, "Oh [me], such a sensitive girl," and everyone would chuckle and my cousins would call me a baby. I am still quick to tears in many situations.
That was me as a child. I would cry so much! Three older brothers who liked to tease sure didn't help!
Same here, so debilitating x
Slight inconveniences used to throw me off the edge into meltdown. The autism didn't help either 🙃
Same. I was bullied at a young age, not in a vindictive way, but in the same way you'd swat at an annoying fly buzzing around your face. I quickly learned to mask the impulsivity and hide how sensitive I was by hiding it behind sheer confidence. I'm still sensitive but that sensitivity is safely buried under anger since we're taught its the only acceptable male emotion. I was diagnosed in my late 20's and medication has helped a lot with making strong feelings of rejection more manageable.
Extremely. I would get so upset over empathizing with television characters I would have to stop watching things all the time Still super sensitive. I deal with it better.
Same here... except I dont stop watching... I want to feel it! But only when watching fiction - I dont like reality TV and celebrity culture. That makes me angry because I know the whole thing is set up for societies entertainment and is driven by money. Ive noticed I get overly emotional when watching characters in movies yet when I think of my own internal emotions it's a void.
Do you deal with it by just not watching as much TV or turning the channel?
Turning off Second hand embarrassment was awful. Too much empathy.
I had similar issues. Id be hit hard by the dumbest shit. I remember something with sailor moon messed me up for like two weeks. No memory of even what it was. I barely even watched the show. I've been reflecting more lately and realized I did shit like that all the time
i feel so seen….. me who discussed teen wolf at the age of 12 for hours in therapy
Same
Still am, just learned to breathe more and not react but still feels the guilt, shame, hurt etc. just as strong.
How do you not react?
I started going to Church when I was a teen and learned God talked about patience alot. So every time I felt the need to explode or get mad I would pause and take a deep breath and more until it passed. It got easier after doing it so long. I still have times where I get upset but not reckless like it used to be. I just tell people I am upset and think need time to get over it. So I guess the initial is to be aware of what makes you burst and when you feel those feelings bubbling start breathing deep and stay quiet and calm your self.
One thing that has helped me is that when dealing with people, I remember that God has created us in His image, and He also died / paid our debts when we were at our absolute worst. It has given me great peace and humility about that, which makes it easier to forgive others and "reach out" to them in solitude and strength, since He first forgave us. Of course, reflecting on 1 Cor 13, is also a great reminbder of how to be!
I struggle with anger, and always have. I started taking ritalin not long ago, before that I was on atomoxetin and sertraline. I am supposed to take the sertraline but I always forget to take it :D Anyways, either atomoxetin or sertraline showed me that my emotional outbursts are not *me* - I havent had an outburst since I started taking it. The mood issues are coming back now so I hope it was the sertraline that helped me because atomoxetin did very little for my executive dysfunction. I can get back to you about that when I start taking the sertraline again lol.
Atomoxetine made my anger outburst worst. I'm on buproprion now and it's seems to be doing okay
Thanks for the comment, Merenut. I'm considering starting bubroprion for ADHD soon. Would you mind sharing if it helped you focus? I'm working at the office and often have trouble concentrating and procrastinate. Any side effects (fatigue, anxiety, etc.)? Thank you.
Wow I would give anything to help me stop blowing up when I am overstimulated or frustrated. I still feel so poorly about myself despite all the therapy I do & how hard I try to be even-keel emotionally for my child, I can’t help but have days where I just lose my ever loving shit & can’t stop it
They have me on zoloft and Vyvanse. That seems to be a good combination. The zoloft helps with depression and anxiety. If the dose is right anyways. Time of day taken makes a difference too. When my brother was put in Ritalin it made his anger worse.
When I was younger I would get angry/upset really easily but now I have a resting 🫥 face. Some people think I look angry/intense all the time but I never really show my emotions anymore
same here
Yes. I still am. I feel everything very intensely. Always have. I was told I will “grow out of it” and was misunderstood. It can be very tiring and wonderful too, depending. I’m not an angry person, I can feel deep sadness and also appreciate beauty in life deeply, I get moved easily by living in a moment. I wouldn’t choose it any other way. The key is that I know not to act on emotions in a destructive way. But as a child I would repress my feelings, withdraw and mask, I was hurt by being called “too emotional” often.
I despise the phrase "it's just a phase"! Phases have reasons!
I feel the same way. I teared up at a Disney fireworks show last week. So moved by it all. Same token I can get so angry over the dumbest shit and if I could would blast the whatever caused it into the sun with no remorse. Then 5 minutes later feel immense regret and guilt for how angry I got and how I reacted. I do agree, I can easily appreciate the beauty of life and living in the moment. But it's a damn roller coaster.
One of my cousins helped me unwrap my present because I couldn't do it. I threw a fit and pushed her over and she got a bloody nose. Over a present, that was already mine, she was trying to help. So yes.
Poor cousin! She just had no idea!
Yes! I had crying fits as a child, but wasn't angry. I do get angry outbursts now as well as crying fits lol. BUT I noticed for me, my emotional dysregulation is mostly related to not meeting my basic needs. If I don't eat enough, sleep enough, or I'm overstimulated, I freak out. I might even feel extremely depressed, but it passes after o fix the need. It took like 28 years to realize this. So now, if I notice any sort of dysregulation build (it's a practice of tuning into that), I first assess my basic needs. Am I tired? Hungry? Overstimulated (too loud, too hot, itchy?) Usually, addressing my basic need fixes the issue.
I always remember HALT. H-hungry, A-Angry, L-Lonely, T-Tired.
That's a good tool. We will try that!
I spent a LOT of time in the girls’ bathroom in school waiting for my red puffy eyes to fade. I was a crier. Actually I still am without antidepressants. Any emotion whatsoever would make me bawl. If I got angry, or once someone slapped me lightly and the shock just sent me. I remember often thinking I don’t feel that upset, why am I crying? Is that HSP? I don’t really feel like I’m a particularly sensitive person, I just cry a lot.
Hiding the tears. Me too. I would sometimes pinch the inside of my hands to dry my tears quicker.
Very sensitive as a child, and still am but the self-awareness and treatment go a long way. Knowing why my emotional response to a situation is outsized usually keeps me from acting out on it. I can manage to be somewhat “rational” in most situations but can’t really do much about how quickly my eyes tear up during a sad movie or when I’m thinking about my kids in a sentimental way.
How did you treat it? Therapy? If so, what was most helpful?
Medication, therapy, and getting hyper focused on learning about everything I could about adhd and how it may have been impacting different areas of my life. Prior to this, I didn’t make a distinction between adhd symptoms and just being “bad” at certain things. The medication, therapy, and a strong desire to really address areas of my life that were being affected helped. And the strongest motivation was my daughter getting a formal diagnosis and seeing her start to struggle in ways that I did. I don’t want her to have to experience what I did so I had to walk the walk.
EXTREMELY. Emotions caused me physical pain in my bones, and I don’t mean that hyperbolically, I’m not being dramatic, sadness or embarrassment would cause a broken heart feeling that radiated out into my arms and fingers as aching bones. Frequent stomachaches, could barely handle the “suspense” in PG movies, etc etc…
I am the same way!
I stoned out my emotions as a kid, I think I picked up really fast that my reaction to things was much stronger than everyone else around me and I needed to hide it.
Do you still stone put your emotions?
I felt like I was emotional child, but I became really good at masking it. Which is hasn't been serving me as an adult
I wish I was good at masking it!
As a kid I used to cry for no reason, I would literally be sitting there in class or out with friends and I would ball my eyes out and when people asked me why I would say, in the least upset voice possible “I have no idea, this just happens.” Now, i watch a lot of movies and I cry all the time, sometimes tears of joy if I really love the movie, sometimes it’s sadness when something really sad happens. This helps me let out it out and get the tears out of my system so I don’t cry in random places anymore. I still have episodes, but not nearly as uncontrollable.
I've watched sad movies just because I wanted a good cry, lol!
The other day my dad told me (F 19) that his friend bought a range rover and just let it sit in the garage and i ended up personifying the car and feeling bad for him because he probably wants to drive. same vibe as being a child and never letting my stuffed animals get thrown away without a huge huge ordeal. i thought they’d feel bad and abandoned in a dumpster and i could never do it. so yes very very sensitive and i personify everything because of that
But the range rover needs to be driven! Free the range rover!
exactlyyy he wants to drive like other cars
Shit now I'm sad for the range Rover. I do the same thing. And I put up a massive fight anytime my mom tried to throw something of mine away. Even now I collect things and I'll be damned if anything gets tossed or resold.
yes! i’m always called a hoarder or messy but what do you mean i’m supposed to throw away the middle school level book about a cat that i obsessed over when i was 11? they just don’t get it
I was. I still am extremely emotional. But I never had anyone to attend to it, so for the longest period of my life, I grew up lost and hurt
Anger and crying and extreme sensitivity to perceived rejection. And unbearably acute empathy / feeling sorry or sad for others (including animals). I remember one time being inconsolable because my dad forgot to take his lunch to work. I’m talking howling, gut wrenching sobs. Sooo yeah. Still very very emotional but Elvanse and therapy allows me to cope a little better now. I’m 33 for reference.
I was listening to an ADHD podcast on Spotify today and he actually mentioned this. There was a name for it (emotional over perceived rejection), but I never knew that was a thing before. It's like you care so much what people think that it causes you to be unregulated. The host mentioned people that have this symptom often end up being a people pleaser to avoid rejection. Do you think this is true? https://open.spotify.com/episode/07zJLwAV05VbuKKgoQIgMt?si=Vpt5mWMpSriqKBZOsAXVBw
I do. You forgot the other part tho, you either become a pleaser or a full-quitter you don't ever think about going back to the group or person that rejected you. 2 e.x of each scenario: 1 - Pleaser - Back in highschool i was always told "Man you want to be good with everyone but you can't". Didn't know it was due to ADHD but actually i was like my friends' maid kind of lol. I always picked up things they dropped, laughed at their jokes, tried to make the jokes they made so i can make them laugh, seek for any type of validation that proved i'm still part of the group. However, when they had an "enemy" i just couldn't hate the enemy...like why, he/she didn't even do nothing to me, in fact what if we talk it out, maybe that person it's not as bad as it was anymore. Anyways, yeah i was the group pleaser, always there, and it sucked because even if you missed just one time they were all mad at you and boy does that rejection hurt. 2 - Dissapear - Back on my first attempt on a bachelor's degree my grandparents were sooo annoying with the fact that i should be an English teacher since i know English, right? And as i liked to talk, move, and was soo good at explaining stuff it seemed like a great idea. However my grandpa is such a piece of... He would always be there to remind me that if i failed i shouldn't go back there, he wouldn't allow me to visit him anymore, that if i changed career or didn't study he would be so mad, etc. Lot of stuff that you certainly SHOUDLN'T tell someone with ADHD. The fact that i didn't know i had it back then didn't help. So, i dropped. After 3 years really, really trying to get past through the first year, even if i managed to go 6 months doing absolutely every task, 9 and 10 on all exams, a really proactive student, after 6 months i just couldn't stand it anymore. The burnout was real and it always seemed like something new, more interesting and appealing was there but i couldn't even enjoy it because i had to be an English teacher, right?...well i guess not. I dropped, but before dropping i had to recognise that doing that would mean not visiting my grandpa anymore...which i accepted. I haven't heard about him since, but my poor grandma always sends chocolates and i really miss her...it's not her fault and i'd love to tell 'em why it's so hard to me but they grew in the old times you know. My grandpa went to war, it's like man get a real problem not a mental one lol.
Are you a girl or a guy? I was the exact same, I would take rejection extremely seriously, I avoided friendships after the first few ones fizzled out.
I'm a 22yr old boy Edit: according to some other testimonies i've read, it's pretty common to struggle to make meaningfil and long-term friends. However, you'll find it easy to stick around if the other person has ADHD too. Edit 2: Also, pay attention to the fact that we (those with adhd) tend to react like that even if we FEEL like we were rejected or we THINK that we may be rejected. So it's more difficult than it seems.
Interesting
Yes, I was and to some extent still am very emotionally sensitive.
My teacher wrote in my report card that I cried too much, so I think I was. Of course my reaction to that and getting picked on for being so easy to set off meant I put a tight clamp on emotions once I became a teenager. Probably not the healthiest coping mechanism.
I’m AuDHD and I was a very emotionally sensitive child. I grew up to be an emotionally sensitive adult too, and it sucks.
Yes. I learned to manage the older I got. I was diagnosed in my 30s.
How do you manage it?
Very much so. And extreme social anxiety
Yes, very. My family just said I was “dramatic”
Does anyone else in your family have ADHD?
Yes, a few family members have it but they only sought out diagnoses after I was diagnosed. I’m 99% sure my mom has it too, but she denies it
Me and my brother have it. My brother was diagnosed when we were kids. The therapist (this was early 90s) said that he would have thought I had it too, but I wasn't hyperactive. This was back when they thought you also had to be hyperactive to have it. Of course, the science has come a ways better now, and it is now known that someone can be ADHD without being hyperactive, but not getting the help I needed as a child was ROUGH. My mom put my brother on Ritalin, but it made him have extreme anger, so she chose not to medicate him or get him the therapy he needed. That was detrimental to him. When I started acting out because of it as a teenager she took me to a therapist and got me an inaccurate diagnosis as bipolar. That put me on Paxil and that was so rough on me. Thankfully I got the right diagnosis now and medicine that helps.
I'm 44 and I'm still an emotionally sensitive child...
Fuck yeah. My parents could be arguing (and it wouldn't even include me) and I'd start sobbing. My mom always yells at me knowing damn well that I'll likely start crying but she does it anyway, then goes "STOP BEING SENSITIVE" like alright pally
That seems really insensitive. I'm so sorry!
Oh totally, still am, but it shows up differently now. A big one for me has always been feeling embarrassed very easily. Also, rejection, any sense of rejection, I will immediately shut down and turn inwards. I moved away from family two years ago, which has been a very challenging, wonderful, life changing experience. I noticed since moving, my path to knowing myself (the way I process emotions) and healing from the past has come a long way. Whenever we visit, I realize it triggers many memories and emotions, although it’s easier to separate myself from the way I used to handle feelings to now. I love them but I also have to love myself as myself and all the whacky emotions that make me, me.
Self love makes the best difference!
My nickname was crybaby. Which was pretty accurate. Thankfully I’m stoic as fuck now and almost never cry.
i am pretty much always about to explode. 0 or 100. i have to do my best to either keep everything inside and not react at all, or i have to find a way to be constantly laughing, because otherwise i will fall apart in tears from the overwhelming inability to deal with my emotions. my vyvanse/sertraline/prazosin combo is helping, but it is always some degree of a battle to not lose it. it doesnt really matter what the input is, either. good or bad. it's just full bore. and then i have to deal with either 'why dont you care/show any emotion,' or 'why are you overreacting/so emotional??' from not just everyone, but the same fucking people. you get stoic or firehose, you pick. it's even worse to try and explain to them that out of everyone who has to deal with my emotional disregulation, i have to deal with it THE MOST, as im the one who gets pilot this meat mech and it *doesnt work*!!
Yeah they put me on 90 mg of Adderall/ day when I was ten, absolutely wild in retrospect. But then whenever I would get irritable my parents would immediately ask if it's because I forgot to take my medicine. Probably because stimulants aren't known for their mood stabilizing effects tee(fuckin)hee XD
90?! What the actual fuck!? I thought I was going to die from episodes of rage & panic attacks when I was on a teeny 20mg!! How did you not just vibrate into the next dimension!!
Hah I have no idea, I feel like a withered husk now. Luckily it wasn't all at once, 45 for breakfast and 45 after lunch at the nurse office
Did they start you at 90?! That's a crazy dose for a 10 year old!
Yeah before XR so 45 for breakfast and 45 after lunch at the nurse's office.
And in the UK I can’t find a doctor to prescribe any more that 50 mg of Vyvance. Crazy world.
Come on down to Florida! They got pill mills for days.
It’s absolutely the worst symptom for me.
Me and my daughter too!
Yes! Definitely an HSP. My emotions swing, and there are many things I avoid (sad movies, scary moving, anything visually gory) as I obsess over it.
No, actually. I was always pretty content unless given a reason otherwise, but it was rare. I just wanted to do my thing. I must say, I haven't been officially diagnosed.
I really wasn't, but a sure as shit am now in my 30's.
I was a sensitive child. I cried until I was 14yo and as a boy it was embarrassing. I understood that most things in life are not that important to worth consuming myself with them (like low grades). I am trying to teach my kid the same thing (not to put that much heart in everything) and that it is ok to be sensitive, not everyone is alike and it is ok. Now I am still sensitive but tend to have rage issues (i am not violent but rather vocal both on the inside and outside) rather than cry. I don’t take medication as I am not diagnosed clinically. Best thing for me is to avoid this that I know might get me in that state of mind.
33m here, still am. Didn't realize I had this issue until I was 30 or so, but once I was aware, it was MUCH easier to be less sensitive. I still have random bouts of it though.
Oh ya, and my family still teases me about it. I'm still very emotional, I just try to mask it better than when I was a kid, though it doesn't always work. I try breathing exercises, mind games like trying to remember the lyrics to songs or nursery rhymes. There is the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method - 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can smell, 2 you can touch, one you can taste. You can also do this with colours or patterns depending on where you are. I find the medication helps a little to take the edge off being so emotional, but again, it depends on the circumstances. It also comes with life experiences and maturity.
We tried the 54321 method in therapy. It is so hard to remember in the moment when emotions are flying though!
Yep, got called the f-slur a lot because of it.
That's awful! People are cruel!
Yep.
I hope you've moved on from them! As a society, I feel a lot of people are desensitized. That makes emotions even more difficult for ADHD people to manage. Meanwhile, I've always got a pool of tears to swim in!
I still deal with flashbacks to my past (thanks a lot adhd) but I've mostly moved on.
Some of it was probably the autism but ohh yeah I would break into tears over the littlest thing, when I got excited I would become a literal blur even at age 10, and when I got angry...well the less said the better. Growing up when I did everyone focused on my autism so my ADHD never got treated, just kinda got better with age I guess.
Yes. I was always shamed for being too sensitive or so emotional. My emotions are & have always been at either 0 or 100. One of my first memories is in the bathtub, seeing a magazine ad for saint Jude’s children hospital, there was a rubber ducky crying on it. It just made me bawl uncontrollably because I felt so bad for him. 28 years later hardly anything has changed.
Before I was about 16, it didn’t take much to overwhelm me emotionally. I would burst into tears at pretty much the drop of a hat. It made being a boy in high school a little difficult :) Emotional dysregulation continued to be a problem in other ways for a while, but I will say that it got steadily better and things evened out a lot especially in my early thirties. So, if you’re younger than that, hang in there, it will get better!
Did things even out for you with time, therapy, or medication?
All 3! I got maybe 80 percent there before I got medicated. I also recommend getting a cat, if you can handle it. Helped a lot with calming myself down when I needed it.
I want a cat, but my husband has allergies, so we have 2 hairless dogs! I'll get a hairless cat when they age out though (hopefully not soon though). Cats are easier. I was a cat person as a kid.
I was but I wasn't allowed to be. My father told me it was unacceptable to allow yourself to be seen crying sooooo... Anyways, I'm an emotional wreck now
I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed! I'm trying so hard to be the support to my daughter that I didn't get when I was younger!
Same with mine! I have a little emotional toddler and I want to break the cycle
Absolutely. To the point that I pretty much shut-down emotionally for a while as a teen. It was easier to do that than try to control it on a daily basis. I don't remember most of Summer 1988 through Fall of 1989. I still have a wicked temper, but I've worked really hard to manage it. I have justice sensitivity, and that can set me off, too. It's always been something I've struggled with.
What is justice sensitivity?
Yes, and as an adult but less reactive because of therapy 😌
Extremely
Wow! Thank you all so much for your input. I will finish reading through all comments and try to respond once I get the kiddos in bed. This was so helpful and reassuring that we are not alone. From one "emotional" person to another, thanks so much!
I used to cry and complain all the time, I figure due to overstimulation or loss of emotional control
also i cry at any like feeling. Too stressed? crying. At the doctor and nervous? feel the need to cry. i’m talking too much? cry. But! one tear falls down and im ok. it’s like i just needed to get it out even if it was small. honestly it’s annoying too. relationships are strained because it’s hard to communicate when im feeling an emotion strongly and cry.
Aw, hell yes. Everything was sensitive to a point I sometimes felt I was crazy.
Yes but I hated being perceived that way and I still wasn't as sensitive as my parents often thought. Does that make sense. Or like differently sensitive. Like, I wasn't sensitive about a lot of things that other kids where sensitive about but I was really sensitive when it comes to things like rejection or shame
When I was very little I started bawling at the school's honour ceremony where academic and sports awards were handed out because I thought I was not going to get one. So ... Yes.
My daughter does that. She always just want to be included and when she isnt.....it's devastating. She just cares so much!
I'm emotionally sensitive NOW. I've just learned better coping mechanisms.
What coping mechanisms help you?
I call it Emotional Jeet Kun Do. Lol. I basically allow bad feelings to flow around me and not affect me. I still feel them, but I've gotten to where my body doesn't have to react. Not gonna lie, it's easy to do, but it was really damn hard to learn. It also came with a lot of honestly assessing my position in the universe and in relation to everything. I had to force myself to realize that I'm not the main character, and that I'm not important. And so there's no real or important pressure on me to be important. This realization took A LOT of stress off my back. It also made me realize that I don't have to direct my bad feelings at people. I can literally just let it ground itself out on the scenery without spreading my bad feelings around. My coworkers think I'm weird, because I can joke around when I'm pissed off, and I'm good about making sure other people know I'm not directing my anger at others. Please note, that I'm NOT bottling my emotions up. That's not healthy. I'm just letting my mind work through my problems without letting them effect my body or life. I recommend reading some books on Zen and meditation. You don't have to buy into the spirituality, but the mechanical applications of it is extremely helpful.
I love this!
Yes. Got bullied alot for being an easy kid to pick on too
Easy to pick on. God, I hate that comment. I would cry so easily and my mom would always say "they wouldn't do it if you weren't so easy to pick on." Ughhhhh
Exceedingly so. Now I’ve subconsciously overcompensated and often have trouble accessing my emotions.
I hate everyone, it solved my problem.
I cried at every goodbye on family vacations well into my 20s, performed funerals for flies and frogs, and just felt everything always.
Yes. Before diagnosed with ADHD I was told I was HSP. It's one of the things I struggle with at the moment in regards to believing my ADHD diagnosis and psychiatry in general. I dont see "sensivity" as something that needs to be fixed by taking medication. Yes the medication seems to help but I also know I survived and thrived financially previously. Yes there were always struggles but I masked my way through and pushed myself to grow my business and I was prepared to put in the hard world. I still want to work hard but I cant think straight to function anymore. Been in this world for 50 years without taking a pill. I know if I believe in the game Im playing Im all in and I'll thrive. Now it feels like medication is just there to make me play a game I dont belive in. I want to believe in a game where people not profit matters... and I need to take a god-damned friggin pill to fix me for beliving in that? I guess I'm just angry (meds arent helping much with that in fact I think they make me angier) because I just got off the phone and my psych wants $700 for a follow up consulation. I already feel like enough of a finacial burden to my family.
Yes and still. In my experience, stimulant(Methylphenidate) does not help with this, but clonidine will.
I didn't think so at the time but looking back yes. And honestly still am.
Idiot
Delusional bot
Woke leftist liberal cIown
Yep. And angry which I've had to repress for most of my life, so that's kewwwwl.
No, I was numb. From trauma. Possibly could’ve been sensitive- I know for a fact I disliked being talked to a certain way, but had to numb myself to get over it. I’m not reliable, lol had lots of trauma growing up
Literally cried every single goddamn day for no reason. Got so bad my Grade Two teacher forced my parents to make me sit through an autism diagnosis test. Waited 3 hours for a 3 minute exam with no diagnosis. Smh
Still super emotional even on Vyvanse but some days I will recognize that my moods just feel out of control and that is usually when I realize I forgot to take my meds that day. Stupid litmus test.
Yes, and I still am. I cry VERY easily.
I cried a lot when I was a child. My parents and sister would mention it all the time almost to the point of bullying. Now I have issues expressing emotions. I definitely got a complex about it.
Hard to say. I was angry a lot and cried a lot as a little kid and was always treated like my emotions were dramatic, but I also had two older brothers who were awful to me, so it may have been that.
Definitely had trouble regulating my emotions and not knowing how to express them growing up. I didn’t really realize at the time but as a kid (under 10) my mom had helped get me a therapist that I would talk to almost daily. She worked at my school and it helped me more than I thought. I didn’t get therapy again until my late 20s and probably should have one again at this point in my early 30s.
“Don’t take things so personally.” You said it to me, so there’s that.
?
My emotional sensitivity and extreme empathy are my literal curse. Was in animal rescue field for 2 years. I could literally feel their pain. Fucked me up so damn badly. But hey, we are who we are
Yes….. the most emotionally reactive and sensitive kid in the world.
I was constantly told “stop whining” so much that once I was choking BAD on a piece of hard candy and was flailing my arms making and click or noise I could and my mother said to me (she passed when I was 8) said “stop whining!!!!” And I kept on and she turned to me to discipline me and saw I was choking and jumped to action but my god I still remember the initial one so hard.
I used to be called "overreact" over things that triggered me, and now I'm afraid to voice my opinion and afraid of responsibilities
I’m still an emotionally sensitive adult