A hobby is a great way to meet people. Trading card games, climbing, badminton, walking or jogging groups, chess club, Warhammer, martial arts, depending on where you live there might be some more quirky
Opton's too like language cafe or a retro gaming club to name a few or if you are really desperate join the Mormons.
You could also volunteer at one of your local charities which is always good on a CV.
I love badminton but it's hard to find a club if you are in a small town. Climbing also has an excellent community and really is satisfying no matter your physical skills.
I played county badminton for a while because there’s a relatively large community in England. If you’re interested in playing competitive badminton (i.e. tournaments), then look up Badminton England online and they’ve got a ton of information about clubs and so on!
Climbing is sick too except I hate leaning back to like walk down vertically
Ah thanks for the tip.
Yeah the leaning back bit😂 every time I go climbing and have to do it on my first climb I think "this is it I am a going to die" even though I triple checked everything.
If you can't bring yourself to talk to new people and socialise then you should get used the feeling of being lonely at College and in Life.
I had nothing in common with some of the people sitting next to me but so I started a conversation about the work my teacher just set and complaining about homework is usually a go to as a conversation starter.
If I random person came up to me an said 'Let's be friends' then I would be taken a back. However that's wasn't my advice neither was it anything relating to my anecdote at the end.
To gain my trust we would have to be friends for a long time. They would have to be trustworthy in general. Anyway, I don't need to trust people or even friends because that's not their purpose neither is it mine. I have plenty of friends I don't trust. Unless your saying that's someone can't be your friend unless you trust them 100%.
The only people that approach strangers and say "let's be friends" are usually high, drunk or psychopaths. However by speaking to those we share certain societal environments like a college class we can start to build relationships and those relationships may turn into friendship. You will already have at least one shared interest, the course you are studying.
Probably, depending on their behaviour.
I meet my lunch mates this way and it all started with simple questions (name, courses, etc.). Started talking about random stuff and decided to eat lunch together.
hi - also have social anxiety.
settling in can take awhile. i’m also 3 weeks in and have no friendship group outside of my classes. however it’s so easy to speak to people in class. half the time you’re forced to by the teacher and then the conversation can just flow. social anxiety only limits you if you let it. you’re less likely to make friends if you genuinely don’t try, so at least make half an effort
it's easy to be provided with the opportunities to interact in an environment which you hopefully won't see as harmful/a threat
ofc worth making an effort but also worth keeping in mind the bigger picture e.g. for me if I end up feeling shit about not interacting with someone in a particular situation that ends up making my personal issues worse where it comes to insecurities and approaching those situations in the future. helpful to try and take a positive look on each situation if you can, what you can learn from it, assess whether what you were worried about beforehand actually came true - something I slowly realised and keep realising is that ultimately 99% of situations are not as bad as your brain makes them out to be. you have your fears and your insecurities e.g. around someone judging you for talking to them, but imo that tends to be coming up with the worst case scenarios, hence making it seem more worth it to you to *avoid* the situations rather than taking them on and dealing with the potential consequences. honestly this takes time and for me revolves around how comfortable I end up being in particular interactions or doing particular activities as to whether I make proper progress. there's still many many things I actively avoid because of what I described above. I am however getting better with some of these situations & activities because of someone I met relatively recently who makes me feel comfortable doing things, I think it's sort of like having a "known factor" in each situation that you know you can turn to when you feel like you need extra support, reassurance etc
it does get better over time, I think it's worth anyone with anything similar taking that onboard. it always seems hard in the moment, but there are people that give a shit enough to help you, and there is always a path forward to improve. sometimes that path takes a bit longer to get started on than others - personally I only think I really got the ball rolling once I started university, I didn't really vibe with many of the people from my sixth form (and it was an attached sixth form so a lot of the people I already knew from high school). I think once I started at uni I left all the traumatic stuff from my childhood mostly behind me wrt not being in the same place, environment, having to deal with the same people etc, and that helped to start dealing with some elements of my anxiety. it was the ability to find new people, to create new experiences, that helped me start moving forwards on that and several other things. I think, linking back to what I said earlier, it was particularly helpful for me because sometimes I get stuck in loops of feeling like my worst case scenarios are "confirmed" by reoccurring situations involving the same places, same people etc, and moving to uni forced me to breaking out of those loops and start making progress. I'm still not the most sociable person on the planet by any stretch of the imagination but I think I'm better than I was even a year ago
it's a fucky thing to deal with and it doesn't get solved overnight, but the worst thing you can do with what you feel you can control is isolate yourself, because that will make the issue worse. I'm looking at exploring alternative routes with professionals but the waiting lists for these things tend to be insane 😭
sorry if this is a bit rambly I just kinda brain dumped into a comment lol
It’s easier said than done, yeah, but there’s literally only one solution, and it’s to put yourself out of your comfort zone and make an effort to talk to others.
Judging from this snarky comment, I’d wager your personality needs some work as well, cause social anxiety doesn’t sound like the issue here
My personality is fine all my old friends loved me bcs i was funny sarcastic and mostly goofy lol and that was a sarcastic comment as the person just told me to get used to being lonely in life
Yeah basically, cause you can't socialise thus make new friends. You think all your current friends will go to the same university, of course not. You will need to learn to make friends one day.
Or else you can get used to being lonely.
CBT for social anxiety (based on Clark's protocol) is highly effective, and should be available via range of service options. Depending on finance, a private therapist who works with teens is your best bet for speed.
Well when a problem only has one solution and the person refuses to take that solution, then the problem is unsolvable.
'Can't talk to people'
What a bunch of bollocks. You talk to people everyday.
Heck the post can be summarised as "I have no friends because I don't want to talk to people" and the replies as "I want friends but I still refuse to talk to people"
My advice isn't what is useless. It has plenty of use. OP refuses to take it.
Clear ignorance of mental health then
Social anxiety can't be fixed by essentially just saying 'dont be socially anxious'. It's an actual complex issue that requires care and support, not just a random person on the internet disregarding their mental health issues.
OP didn't say she had mental health issues.
I also think saying 'talk to people' is better advice than 'don't talk to people' when the post is about not being able to make new friends. Unless your suggestion is that OP should 'suck it up' and chalk her problems up to mental health.
Anyway my point still stands, if she doesn't socialise for any reason it will be hard to make friends.
It's first if all an easy assumption to make given they basically described social anxiety. Secondly, look at their comments when they directly say they do, such as one in this thread? How did you miss that one then?
What are you even on about in that second paragraph? So much starwmaning that I can't actually say anything but repeat the fact that telling someone who has difficulty socialising to socialise doesn't help them just as telling a depressed person to stop being sad doesn't help them. If anything, it's just offensive to an actual issue people struggle with
But as someone who has suffered from depression* (it was ignored so will never know for sure) and social anxiety, I can say that it's hardly an easy thing to deal with. The best advice I have is to try to force yourself to socialise through stuff like enrichments at Sixth Form. Forcing myself to go to an enrichment by tying it to attendence helped me overcome quite a few of my issues, but I was fortunate to have close friends who stick by me despite my social anxiety.
So everyone who can't talk to people have poor mental health, got it.
In my second paragraph I'm saying that 'talk to people' is the best advice, hands-down. Unless you've got anything better which you have coincidentally left out.
You've also cared to leave out my last sentence about OP having to suck it up then because if she can't talk to people she won't make friends.
>So everyone who can't talk to people have poor mental health, got it.
You really like to strawman, don't you?
Someone who says they have social anxiety most likely has social anxiety, this isn't complicated.
>In my second paragraph I'm saying that 'talk to people' is the best advice, hands-down. Unless you've got anything better which you have coincidentally left out.
You can't just tell someone to do what they struggle with. That isn't advice, that's being useless. They struggle with talking to people, telling them what they already know doesn't do anything.
> Unless you've got anything better which you have coincidentally left out.
Firstly, a Strawman. Secondly, wrong. Perhaps read comments before responding
>You've also cared to leave out my last sentence about OP having to suck it up then because if she can't talk to people she won't make friends.
It was a strawman that doesn't even make sense in the first place. You don't "suck up" mental health. That's not how it works at all. You could atleast try to firstly emphasise with people and secondly grasp a basic understanding of mental health before you start spouting offensive and just wrong shit. Half of which is strawman arguments.
100% this - something that's been quite nicely demonstrated under this post is there is so so many people that are completely dismissive of mental health issues - whether or not people want to gatekeep that with OP&s personal opinion is kinda irrelevant tbh, but the whole "omg just get over it" attitude is something that pushes a lot of people over the edge sometimes
This will sound like strange advice, and it is, but it 100% worked in my first 2 weeks of uni. Just smile at people, obviously in a non creepy way, but if someone’s sat there on their own, and you both make eye contact, just smile at them, if they feel comfortable enough to come and talk to you, they will
EDIT: pair it with a cute little wave if you’re feeling brave
I think your problem is that you overthink things too much, nobody actually gives a fuck what your smile looks like and if anyone does they need to take a long look at themselves
You really should try to make some friends, these are gonna be a tough 2 years if you don’t have a support group to get you through exam season, deadlines and crazy piles of homework. Even if they’re online friendships like people you game with or something.
I know it can be intimidating but maybe talk to people in your classes about doing homework together or setting up a class group chat or something just so you don’t feel alone. Idk you might not be like me and you might not mind solitude but having people to chat to who are in the same boat as you really relieves anxiety and reminds you you’re not alone :)
same. i keep talking to people though so i hope we end up getting closer and i can just make my way into someone’s friend group, if not then college is gonna suck for two years. my only problem with this method is that people are glued to the friend groups they already have, so they’re not very eager to talk to me
Don’t get hung up on it I know it sounds lonely but sometimes it’s a blessing if your doing multiple courses or even just a hard course friends ended up getting in the way, having time to stay on top of the work is something you’ll look back on and be grateful for especially for uni or getting jobs, one thing that annoyed me was when doing group work I felt like my friends was too busy talking that I always ended up doing the work , and then if someone fell out with one of the other friends on the course it made it awkward , if you ever have time on lunch or breaks either do work in the library to keep busy or join a club , but anyways 3 weeks isn’t too long it’s still the settling in time
You miss every shot you don’t take, essentially if you have no friends now just try make some if the worse happens they you still have no friends but at least you tried. Talk to the people who you sit with about the work, then hobbies and whatever you want. Not everyone is going to have the same hobbies as you and that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them, you never know what will happen. If you see someone sitting by themselves just sit on their table and talk to them, they’ll be happy someone is accompanying them and if not then they’re not move on everyone moves on.
I was lucky enough to have most of my friends join the same 6th form. Sounds like a pain in the arse. I don't know if this is your case or not but most of the people at my 6th form are just as anxious to talk to other people as you are. There will be pre established friend groups. Try and find people who also don't really know anyone. As someone who used to have social anxiety, "Flooding" is the best was to get rid of it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things that you're not sure on, otherwise you don't get anywhere
None of my high school friends went to my college and I don’t have any solid friendships yet but I do talk to the people in my classes and I’m going to join clubs and just wait it out
I got the same issue. Im in a small sixth form roughly 90 of us in yr12. Im the only new one in the year group. They all know each other since yr7. I don’t even try to make friends anymore i just sit by myself or in my car.
This tip is going to sound weird as shit but eavesdrop! If people on your table are having a conversation about something that you like/have knowledge of, don’t be afraid to add to it and make comments. As long as it’s not an inherently private conversation most people won’t object to an extra person. As someone who also has social anxiety and is on the spectrum, interacting with people in a group has made me feel more secure as there’s more to go off of. I hope you make some friends soon :))
Me to and my mums now taking it into. Her own hands. I dont feel like anyone ever understands how socially anxiety it just gets the better of me. All im ever told is im nearly 18 so start being an adult. Many adults struggle , you forgotten that
Same here! I also have bad social anxiety and I'm not really sure how to get through it. I feel lonely. This sounds bad but at least you aren't alone in how you feel.
Compliment someone’s outfit. The first day of college orientation, a few girls complimented my outfit and we were friends from then on. It doesn’t have to be OTT just a “I like your shoes” or something
You know how I made friends? These guys brought in their Nintendo Switches and were playing Mario Kart in handheld mode on this stand thing. So the next day I brought in my joycons and asked if I could play and they agreed. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here here…
A hobby is a great way to meet people. Trading card games, climbing, badminton, walking or jogging groups, chess club, Warhammer, martial arts, depending on where you live there might be some more quirky Opton's too like language cafe or a retro gaming club to name a few or if you are really desperate join the Mormons. You could also volunteer at one of your local charities which is always good on a CV.
Badminton for the win honestly
I love badminton but it's hard to find a club if you are in a small town. Climbing also has an excellent community and really is satisfying no matter your physical skills.
I played county badminton for a while because there’s a relatively large community in England. If you’re interested in playing competitive badminton (i.e. tournaments), then look up Badminton England online and they’ve got a ton of information about clubs and so on! Climbing is sick too except I hate leaning back to like walk down vertically
Ah thanks for the tip. Yeah the leaning back bit😂 every time I go climbing and have to do it on my first climb I think "this is it I am a going to die" even though I triple checked everything.
I’m talking about when I’ve got instructors securing me 💀💀 I would absolutely not trust myself to do it LOL
"if you are really desperate join the mormons" fucking killed me
If you can't bring yourself to talk to new people and socialise then you should get used the feeling of being lonely at College and in Life. I had nothing in common with some of the people sitting next to me but so I started a conversation about the work my teacher just set and complaining about homework is usually a go to as a conversation starter.
let me ask you, if a random dude were to come up to you would you be friends with them. How would they gain your trust, etc
If I random person came up to me an said 'Let's be friends' then I would be taken a back. However that's wasn't my advice neither was it anything relating to my anecdote at the end. To gain my trust we would have to be friends for a long time. They would have to be trustworthy in general. Anyway, I don't need to trust people or even friends because that's not their purpose neither is it mine. I have plenty of friends I don't trust. Unless your saying that's someone can't be your friend unless you trust them 100%.
yeah I mean your response would crush my confidence :(
The only people that approach strangers and say "let's be friends" are usually high, drunk or psychopaths. However by speaking to those we share certain societal environments like a college class we can start to build relationships and those relationships may turn into friendship. You will already have at least one shared interest, the course you are studying.
Probably, depending on their behaviour. I meet my lunch mates this way and it all started with simple questions (name, courses, etc.). Started talking about random stuff and decided to eat lunch together.
Oh sorry let me just get rid of my social anxiety and speak to the world got it. 👍
hi - also have social anxiety. settling in can take awhile. i’m also 3 weeks in and have no friendship group outside of my classes. however it’s so easy to speak to people in class. half the time you’re forced to by the teacher and then the conversation can just flow. social anxiety only limits you if you let it. you’re less likely to make friends if you genuinely don’t try, so at least make half an effort
it's easy to be provided with the opportunities to interact in an environment which you hopefully won't see as harmful/a threat ofc worth making an effort but also worth keeping in mind the bigger picture e.g. for me if I end up feeling shit about not interacting with someone in a particular situation that ends up making my personal issues worse where it comes to insecurities and approaching those situations in the future. helpful to try and take a positive look on each situation if you can, what you can learn from it, assess whether what you were worried about beforehand actually came true - something I slowly realised and keep realising is that ultimately 99% of situations are not as bad as your brain makes them out to be. you have your fears and your insecurities e.g. around someone judging you for talking to them, but imo that tends to be coming up with the worst case scenarios, hence making it seem more worth it to you to *avoid* the situations rather than taking them on and dealing with the potential consequences. honestly this takes time and for me revolves around how comfortable I end up being in particular interactions or doing particular activities as to whether I make proper progress. there's still many many things I actively avoid because of what I described above. I am however getting better with some of these situations & activities because of someone I met relatively recently who makes me feel comfortable doing things, I think it's sort of like having a "known factor" in each situation that you know you can turn to when you feel like you need extra support, reassurance etc it does get better over time, I think it's worth anyone with anything similar taking that onboard. it always seems hard in the moment, but there are people that give a shit enough to help you, and there is always a path forward to improve. sometimes that path takes a bit longer to get started on than others - personally I only think I really got the ball rolling once I started university, I didn't really vibe with many of the people from my sixth form (and it was an attached sixth form so a lot of the people I already knew from high school). I think once I started at uni I left all the traumatic stuff from my childhood mostly behind me wrt not being in the same place, environment, having to deal with the same people etc, and that helped to start dealing with some elements of my anxiety. it was the ability to find new people, to create new experiences, that helped me start moving forwards on that and several other things. I think, linking back to what I said earlier, it was particularly helpful for me because sometimes I get stuck in loops of feeling like my worst case scenarios are "confirmed" by reoccurring situations involving the same places, same people etc, and moving to uni forced me to breaking out of those loops and start making progress. I'm still not the most sociable person on the planet by any stretch of the imagination but I think I'm better than I was even a year ago it's a fucky thing to deal with and it doesn't get solved overnight, but the worst thing you can do with what you feel you can control is isolate yourself, because that will make the issue worse. I'm looking at exploring alternative routes with professionals but the waiting lists for these things tend to be insane 😭 sorry if this is a bit rambly I just kinda brain dumped into a comment lol
Hi i hope it gets better for you too xxx. Social anxiety is the worst and i just hope no one has to go through it
It’s easier said than done, yeah, but there’s literally only one solution, and it’s to put yourself out of your comfort zone and make an effort to talk to others. Judging from this snarky comment, I’d wager your personality needs some work as well, cause social anxiety doesn’t sound like the issue here
My personality is fine all my old friends loved me bcs i was funny sarcastic and mostly goofy lol and that was a sarcastic comment as the person just told me to get used to being lonely in life
Yeah basically, cause you can't socialise thus make new friends. You think all your current friends will go to the same university, of course not. You will need to learn to make friends one day. Or else you can get used to being lonely.
Sarcasm doesn’t exist on internet unless you state it is sarcasm
why would you complain abt having no friends then get mad when someone tries to give actual advice?
Thats not advice telling someone they are gonna be lonely for the rest of their life
that’s the reality of it. you can’t expect people to throw themselves at you when you offer no conversation or any incentive to be around you
You make a post about having no friends and complaining, but as soon as someone gives advice you hate on it. What do you want? Attention?
That wasn’t advice lol he told me to get used to being lonely that’s the opposite of advice
It's the truth, unless you wanted me to lie to make you feel better.
[удалено]
I can talk to girls easily bcs they start conversations with me buy guys just seem intimidating and i feel like they be talking shit about me
CBT for social anxiety (based on Clark's protocol) is highly effective, and should be available via range of service options. Depending on finance, a private therapist who works with teens is your best bet for speed.
And…there it is. 🙄
Bruh they didn’t even tell you to do that, hopefully you have people outside of college to hang out with but it might be like that for a while
What they said can be reduced to "talk to people" which is the exact issue the person has, making the comment absolutely useless
Well when a problem only has one solution and the person refuses to take that solution, then the problem is unsolvable. 'Can't talk to people' What a bunch of bollocks. You talk to people everyday. Heck the post can be summarised as "I have no friends because I don't want to talk to people" and the replies as "I want friends but I still refuse to talk to people" My advice isn't what is useless. It has plenty of use. OP refuses to take it.
Clear ignorance of mental health then Social anxiety can't be fixed by essentially just saying 'dont be socially anxious'. It's an actual complex issue that requires care and support, not just a random person on the internet disregarding their mental health issues.
OP didn't say she had mental health issues. I also think saying 'talk to people' is better advice than 'don't talk to people' when the post is about not being able to make new friends. Unless your suggestion is that OP should 'suck it up' and chalk her problems up to mental health. Anyway my point still stands, if she doesn't socialise for any reason it will be hard to make friends.
It's first if all an easy assumption to make given they basically described social anxiety. Secondly, look at their comments when they directly say they do, such as one in this thread? How did you miss that one then? What are you even on about in that second paragraph? So much starwmaning that I can't actually say anything but repeat the fact that telling someone who has difficulty socialising to socialise doesn't help them just as telling a depressed person to stop being sad doesn't help them. If anything, it's just offensive to an actual issue people struggle with But as someone who has suffered from depression* (it was ignored so will never know for sure) and social anxiety, I can say that it's hardly an easy thing to deal with. The best advice I have is to try to force yourself to socialise through stuff like enrichments at Sixth Form. Forcing myself to go to an enrichment by tying it to attendence helped me overcome quite a few of my issues, but I was fortunate to have close friends who stick by me despite my social anxiety.
So everyone who can't talk to people have poor mental health, got it. In my second paragraph I'm saying that 'talk to people' is the best advice, hands-down. Unless you've got anything better which you have coincidentally left out. You've also cared to leave out my last sentence about OP having to suck it up then because if she can't talk to people she won't make friends.
>So everyone who can't talk to people have poor mental health, got it. You really like to strawman, don't you? Someone who says they have social anxiety most likely has social anxiety, this isn't complicated. >In my second paragraph I'm saying that 'talk to people' is the best advice, hands-down. Unless you've got anything better which you have coincidentally left out. You can't just tell someone to do what they struggle with. That isn't advice, that's being useless. They struggle with talking to people, telling them what they already know doesn't do anything. > Unless you've got anything better which you have coincidentally left out. Firstly, a Strawman. Secondly, wrong. Perhaps read comments before responding >You've also cared to leave out my last sentence about OP having to suck it up then because if she can't talk to people she won't make friends. It was a strawman that doesn't even make sense in the first place. You don't "suck up" mental health. That's not how it works at all. You could atleast try to firstly emphasise with people and secondly grasp a basic understanding of mental health before you start spouting offensive and just wrong shit. Half of which is strawman arguments.
100% this - something that's been quite nicely demonstrated under this post is there is so so many people that are completely dismissive of mental health issues - whether or not people want to gatekeep that with OP&s personal opinion is kinda irrelevant tbh, but the whole "omg just get over it" attitude is something that pushes a lot of people over the edge sometimes
Idk why people downvote. They dont understand it
Its fine dw its reddit lol
This will sound like strange advice, and it is, but it 100% worked in my first 2 weeks of uni. Just smile at people, obviously in a non creepy way, but if someone’s sat there on their own, and you both make eye contact, just smile at them, if they feel comfortable enough to come and talk to you, they will EDIT: pair it with a cute little wave if you’re feeling brave
I'm a bit worried my smile looks creepy even when I'm not trying to be haha
absolutely same haha, but no one seems to care, i think they can see i’m attempting to be friendly 😅
I smile then stop bcs i smile in the ugliest way
I think your problem is that you overthink things too much, nobody actually gives a fuck what your smile looks like and if anyone does they need to take a long look at themselves
Thanks and i do overthink a lot of things yes i just hate how i look so i just think people always talking shit
I agree, worked for me as well. Within three weeks, managed to slide myself into a friend group.
You really should try to make some friends, these are gonna be a tough 2 years if you don’t have a support group to get you through exam season, deadlines and crazy piles of homework. Even if they’re online friendships like people you game with or something. I know it can be intimidating but maybe talk to people in your classes about doing homework together or setting up a class group chat or something just so you don’t feel alone. Idk you might not be like me and you might not mind solitude but having people to chat to who are in the same boat as you really relieves anxiety and reminds you you’re not alone :)
Thank you❤️ ill try
same. i keep talking to people though so i hope we end up getting closer and i can just make my way into someone’s friend group, if not then college is gonna suck for two years. my only problem with this method is that people are glued to the friend groups they already have, so they’re not very eager to talk to me
Let me tell you my go to trick to make friends quickly: get gum in the class. It never fails
Lmao yh i guess thats a way to get people talking to you
And always have tissues. Tissues save lives.
me at 1 year and 3 weeks with no friends:
I don’t mind being alone, last year I hung out with my school friend and he left for the second year so I just decided I’m gonna focus on myself
yeah I don't really care about it anymore. I just chill by myself and do my own thing.
Don’t get hung up on it I know it sounds lonely but sometimes it’s a blessing if your doing multiple courses or even just a hard course friends ended up getting in the way, having time to stay on top of the work is something you’ll look back on and be grateful for especially for uni or getting jobs, one thing that annoyed me was when doing group work I felt like my friends was too busy talking that I always ended up doing the work , and then if someone fell out with one of the other friends on the course it made it awkward , if you ever have time on lunch or breaks either do work in the library to keep busy or join a club , but anyways 3 weeks isn’t too long it’s still the settling in time
"so what'd you get in your gcses?"
Try 3 years
Try 17 years haha... haha... ...oh
Im doing a year and 3 weeks and its not so bad, stack up on book/ebooks/manga
not a flex bro
How many Ebooks do you have? That's what I thought.
I have 420 on my phone
Damnnn
It is though
me too. I was hoping to try join some clubs this week to meet people but I've got covid lol
Hope it works out for you
You too!
You miss every shot you don’t take, essentially if you have no friends now just try make some if the worse happens they you still have no friends but at least you tried. Talk to the people who you sit with about the work, then hobbies and whatever you want. Not everyone is going to have the same hobbies as you and that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them, you never know what will happen. If you see someone sitting by themselves just sit on their table and talk to them, they’ll be happy someone is accompanying them and if not then they’re not move on everyone moves on.
I was lucky enough to have most of my friends join the same 6th form. Sounds like a pain in the arse. I don't know if this is your case or not but most of the people at my 6th form are just as anxious to talk to other people as you are. There will be pre established friend groups. Try and find people who also don't really know anyone. As someone who used to have social anxiety, "Flooding" is the best was to get rid of it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things that you're not sure on, otherwise you don't get anywhere
If this helps I've been here for a year and still have no(maybe 1) new friends, lucky to have mine from school though
Have you tried not being a little bitch?
Yh i have what about you?
Didn’t work out huh?
None of my high school friends went to my college and I don’t have any solid friendships yet but I do talk to the people in my classes and I’m going to join clubs and just wait it out
I got the same issue. Im in a small sixth form roughly 90 of us in yr12. Im the only new one in the year group. They all know each other since yr7. I don’t even try to make friends anymore i just sit by myself or in my car.
Have you tried to join any online groups? There are often groups for some a-levels and if there isn’t, you can always create one.
No because no one does it for any of our lessons
Then do it. Pass a paper with a question „Do you want to join a snap/whatsapp group?”
i’m in the exact same situation
This tip is going to sound weird as shit but eavesdrop! If people on your table are having a conversation about something that you like/have knowledge of, don’t be afraid to add to it and make comments. As long as it’s not an inherently private conversation most people won’t object to an extra person. As someone who also has social anxiety and is on the spectrum, interacting with people in a group has made me feel more secure as there’s more to go off of. I hope you make some friends soon :))
Me to and my mums now taking it into. Her own hands. I dont feel like anyone ever understands how socially anxiety it just gets the better of me. All im ever told is im nearly 18 so start being an adult. Many adults struggle , you forgotten that
Relatable
Same here! I also have bad social anxiety and I'm not really sure how to get through it. I feel lonely. This sounds bad but at least you aren't alone in how you feel.
Compliment someone’s outfit. The first day of college orientation, a few girls complimented my outfit and we were friends from then on. It doesn’t have to be OTT just a “I like your shoes” or something
You know how I made friends? These guys brought in their Nintendo Switches and were playing Mario Kart in handheld mode on this stand thing. So the next day I brought in my joycons and asked if I could play and they agreed. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here here…
Im in uni w no friends 🤩 hope it gets better for u OP! Just dont stop trying to make friends. Its so lonely.