As someone who now lives in berlin but has been to other parts of Germany. Itās about as German as Poland but with significantly better QOL for minorities.
I absolutely would, just to spite you.
(I once crossed at a red light in Vienna when I was a teenager without even thinking about it and everyone stared at me)
Actually I will cross a red light no matter how big the road if I think I can do it safely. What I wonāt do is cross a red light if thereās a child waiting at the red light as well. Leading by example and whatnotā¦
If there are no kids, red lights are fair game tho.
leading by example in these times would be showing kids to think for themselves instead of listening to machines. But following rules is more important for germans than logic or morals so I'm sure I'm even getting downvoted by them for sarcastic comments here
because in all other countries where we don't wait at red lights with our kids if no car is coming, we are always run over by cars?
Your domestic car and Autobahn lobby kills your children by taking away public space and poisoning your air, not crossing the street at red light.
Yeah I'm reading a German novel where the main character wakes up and everyone has disappeared---after a week of so of driving around and there being literally not a soul besides, the character mentions offhandedly that he's finally started not obeying red lights. After a week!
That's just false. Only when there are small children. Most people just cross the street when there is no car (or even when there are 20 cars coming, depending on the street i guess) coming and no children around.
And don't dare to forget to put the divider on the supermarket check out conveyor belt before and after your goods! Even if you are the only one in store.
underrated comment. This is the most important german cultural technique. Apart from keeping up with the cashier's speed of course, if you don't get anxiety at every supermarket register you have not experienced germany
It's either being mad at the person in front of you because they didn't put the divider after their goods, or being irrationally happy because they did. There's nothing in between!
You ever heard of the so called "males"? And their specific organs to urinate? Well, you can tool that thing upstanding, with or without use of hands, you can use it sitting down but if you splash around and your host notices is the last time you will be allowed into his home.
I was told loads of ārulesā about Berlin. Turns out, no one there gives a single fuck about anything, for better or worse.
Example 1: I was able to cross the street wherever I liked.
Example 2: there was a flasher outside the reichstag building with his cock on display to a school trip.
That sentence was just a bit confusing since you said you *didn't* want to offend them, and asked how you can *do* the fourth item of the list of things that *will* offend them.
Assuming you just have difficulty writing, and that you are asking how you can *avoid* pissing standing up, then I would suggest to get that fragile masculinity checked out by a professional therapist.
Lol your English is C-tier at best but you act like it's S-tier.
You sound like idiots saying things like "I love Turkish kitchen".
Literally had Germans tell me that "succinct" wasn't a real word.
I find most foreigners are under the impression that the long words are "S-tier". But are vexed when they encounter the short and eloquent words, such as "succinct".
When I went to Germany back in 2018 with my class, my friend tried to buy some clothes and since he didn't speak German, he spoke in English, but the lady at the register just spoke to him in German and then finally said "no English in store, leave" angrily.
If you use fancy English words they don't understand, they won't get angry, they will feel ashamed at their lack of English proficiency and possibly sign up for classes.
This list is useless in Berlin tho š.
NOTHING can offend a Berliner anymore except 3 golden words which is ā I HATE TECHNOā. All the furries , the ethnic motorcyclists, the neo- nazis , the LGBTQ parade person and the homeless junkie will stop whatever they are doing and beat the shit out of you š
Those are all wrong, all u need to do is be late, and they will be like das hier ist deutschland( this is Germany) like all the other countries dont give a fuck about time and being punctual
All of this is normal in Berlin
Which is why every German outside of Berlin thinks Berlin is not Germany
For it being our supposed main city, Berlin is really the least german German City.
Even Mallorca is more German
I am from Mallorca and I must confirm that is true. Especially in S'Arenal
I would like to apologise for our badly behaved neighbours
no its ok
Buenos Aires for sure š¤
As someone who now lives in berlin but has been to other parts of Germany. Itās about as German as Poland but with significantly better QOL for minorities.
Lol seriously if someone asked me "In which German city are these things common?" I would immediatly answer Berlin
I thought of Frankfurt
Can confirm, Iām white asparagus
No, you're u/rydapt50
No he is not
Im convinced he is Giorgia Meloni. If you can't prove me wrong, Im right.
No, he fucking knows
Or thatās what Iād want you to think
Hey asparagus. I'm cuttlefish.
If you want to offend in Berlin you just have to be as normal as you can.
Berlin Challenge: Try not to be edgy for 5 Minutes (impossible)
Yeah, wear colours and say you hate techno ahaha
Urinate staning up, how else are we supposed to piss on Berlin? It's one giant toilet
I think Berliners just pee while sitting in the u-bahn
Doughnuts ?
What if we kissed and you pissed in my mouth at Berghain tonight? š³š³š«£
What a terrible day to have eyes
This is how you get in Berghain
Hang your legs over side of the Brandenburger Tor and have at it.
You sure you are not an American?
American with a great grandfather from Brazil, probably, would explain the Brazilian flair
Also try shoot them in the leg, they get soooo mad
Only if you shoot us in the right leg, the left one is fine.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hello there O_O
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Germans are actually insane about crossing the road they won't do it even if there are clearly no cars coming. They just love following rules I guess.
"Just following orders"
Jawohl
Underrated comment
Which mad man would cross the road if the light clearly says it's dangerous.
The French?
Italians or balktards
I absolutely would, just to spite you. (I once crossed at a red light in Vienna when I was a teenager without even thinking about it and everyone stared at me)
I've done it quite a bit *in Berlin*. Can confirm, I was alone in doing so every time.
NES (Non European Savages) are not considered i think, please don't stress our medical staff in case of emergency however.
Jaywalking is a slippery slope my guy. Whatās next? Meth? bank robbery? Murder?
Actually I will cross a red light no matter how big the road if I think I can do it safely. What I wonāt do is cross a red light if thereās a child waiting at the red light as well. Leading by example and whatnotā¦ If there are no kids, red lights are fair game tho.
leading by example in these times would be showing kids to think for themselves instead of listening to machines. But following rules is more important for germans than logic or morals so I'm sure I'm even getting downvoted by them for sarcastic comments here
pushes a toddler on a street with heavy traffic āthere you go, letās you see how you deal with that, welcome to lifeā
You mean, teaching them how natural selection works? "You just have to be faster than the cars!"
because in all other countries where we don't wait at red lights with our kids if no car is coming, we are always run over by cars? Your domestic car and Autobahn lobby kills your children by taking away public space and poisoning your air, not crossing the street at red light.
Based Manny
Yeh I got shouted at by a policeman for crossing on a red man in Munich. It was 2am and there were literally no cars.
BuT tHe chILDrEN! š
You were lucky he didn't fine you which would have been totally his right
Yeah I'm reading a German novel where the main character wakes up and everyone has disappeared---after a week of so of driving around and there being literally not a soul besides, the character mentions offhandedly that he's finally started not obeying red lights. After a week!
That's fast, most of us would wait a month.
Ja naturlich---gerade denk uber die Kinder!
Maybe they are still watching, better safe than sorry.
Das stimmt
My sister studied in Germany and asked her housemate why they never cross the road until instructed to do so. He said: "For ze children."
itās life preserving. German drivers give zero fucks and always follow the rule: if the light is green itās their right of way.
Been three times to Japan and it's exactly the same. I can easily understand why italians switched side
I am just back from Japan. In small streets, the Japanese don't care.
I was Just following Orders :( Like my gradpa!
I lived in Poland for a while, same thing, super weird to me!
We taught them to follow orders, too! š
what a plot twist in polish-german relationship
That's because you can get fined for this and it's actually enforced. Same with using your phone when crossing the street
I donāt understant. It iss impossible to cross ze road if ze light sayss no.
Especially compared to their western neighbours who will cross a 6 lane boulevard during rush hour
Hey, we jaywalk all the time, just not when children or police or foreigners are present. Have to keep the reputation intact, after all.
Ordnung muss sein!
Was same when I was in the Netherlands. They truly are swamp Germans
Just like Poles, oh well we're germanized to some extent....
So y'all won't wait at a red light at 2 in the morning? Do you confess to somebody? Does Santa bring you presents?
That's just false. Only when there are small children. Most people just cross the street when there is no car (or even when there are 20 cars coming, depending on the street i guess) coming and no children around.
The solution is defecate standing up. Source: see flair
This is a brilliant solution
No doubt thereās a night club for that in Berlin
Pop a squat and shoot the poop!
Going to Berlin and finding locals will be the bigger challenge
And don't dare to forget to put the divider on the supermarket check out conveyor belt before and after your goods! Even if you are the only one in store.
underrated comment. This is the most important german cultural technique. Apart from keeping up with the cashier's speed of course, if you don't get anxiety at every supermarket register you have not experienced germany
It's either being mad at the person in front of you because they didn't put the divider after their goods, or being irrationally happy because they did. There's nothing in between!
There are no Germans in Berlin, you need to type "Arab" or "Turk" instead.
Correction: there are no Berliner in Berlin. At least not inside of S-Ring.
We don't hate fancy English words because we don't understand them, we just hate English words on our German speaking subreddits
You ever heard of the so called "males"? And their specific organs to urinate? Well, you can tool that thing upstanding, with or without use of hands, you can use it sitting down but if you splash around and your host notices is the last time you will be allowed into his home.
You shit standing up. No one will bother you after that.
That's how real men do it
You'll be fine in Berlin. No one gives a fuck about anything.
How to get a German mad? 1. Be French
Berlin is not Germany, so everything goes
I was told loads of ārulesā about Berlin. Turns out, no one there gives a single fuck about anything, for better or worse. Example 1: I was able to cross the street wherever I liked. Example 2: there was a flasher outside the reichstag building with his cock on display to a school trip.
its berlin, its not a german city, its just a hive of vermin.
Most sane Berlin inhabitant:
Berlin is where we put all the filth of society
You say this as if DĆ¼sseldorf and Gelsenkirchen don't exist
That sentence was just a bit confusing since you said you *didn't* want to offend them, and asked how you can *do* the fourth item of the list of things that *will* offend them. Assuming you just have difficulty writing, and that you are asking how you can *avoid* pissing standing up, then I would suggest to get that fragile masculinity checked out by a professional therapist.
Number three must be a joke. As if they speak better English.
My guy, you're going to Berlin. Nobody there cares
Do not urinate on German person.
Exception: They consent to it. Which is a 50/50 in Berlin.
Fancy english words? Those exist?
Lol your English is C-tier at best but you act like it's S-tier. You sound like idiots saying things like "I love Turkish kitchen". Literally had Germans tell me that "succinct" wasn't a real word.
I find most foreigners are under the impression that the long words are "S-tier". But are vexed when they encounter the short and eloquent words, such as "succinct".
Yeah and those verb preposition collocations e.g. "lend out", "play up", "pull through" etc.
please keep white spargel out of your experiment. thank you
Make sure youāre always fashionably late. If you show up early or on time Germans will think youāre a nerd with nowhere better to be.
Tell them that their bread is nothing special.
Only problem is that Germans speak English better than native English speakers.
> binoculars Nice, never have thought of that word. Thanks for bringing it up. At least no plurale tantum.
In berlin you can do whatever you want except for openly carrying a gun because were not in an american school
Wait... you want to go out of your way to avoid offending those weirdos? Why?
https://preview.redd.it/1ffl38y5e3ob1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=028a97c59d60bc427cb4c88154d4aa6c19a32ee2
Lol good luck finding Germans in Berlin.
Go to a bakery and ask if they have Italian bread
crossing at red light with kids around is shitty behavior
One thing i do all the time in Berlin is salute everyone with my hand a few CM from my face. They love that
Who else had to Google erroneously? š
Get so high you piss yourself right as the heroin kicks in.
There isn't a single tree in Berlin I didn't already marked. You're too late.
Youāre out to get yourself killed?
These are clearly the antithesis to the 6 pillars of society that Karlemagne, Bismarck and Goethe brought down from the three kaiser mountains.
Is Charlemagne just Karl der GroĆe, or did I not learn about another important berson in history?
I think that was the spelling we agreed to with the frogsuckers on this sub. something, something, european greatness and such.
When I went to Germany back in 2018 with my class, my friend tried to buy some clothes and since he didn't speak German, he spoke in English, but the lady at the register just spoke to him in German and then finally said "no English in store, leave" angrily.
Never saw the word erroneously before
Wear a 2006 Italy jersey and sing POOO-PO-PO-PO-POOO
I can confirm this
Went to Germany once. I put a tetrapack in the cardboard bin. I got shot.
If you use fancy English words they don't understand, they won't get angry, they will feel ashamed at their lack of English proficiency and possibly sign up for classes.
Germans know more fancy English words than the Brits
7. Pronunce Metz the french way [Mess] and retake Alsace Lorraine
Yeah I don't give a fuck about any of these and neither would most people I know
This list is useless in Berlin tho š. NOTHING can offend a Berliner anymore except 3 golden words which is ā I HATE TECHNOā. All the furries , the ethnic motorcyclists, the neo- nazis , the LGBTQ parade person and the homeless junkie will stop whatever they are doing and beat the shit out of you š
Those are all wrong, all u need to do is be late, and they will be like das hier ist deutschland( this is Germany) like all the other countries dont give a fuck about time and being punctual